Friday, 16 August 2013

Is this what they mean by Garden Leave ?

I had one and one half days of annual leave to take before I emerge from the Nine Circles of Hell in to the blinding sunrise of a new job. Yesterday afternoon and all day today have been strategically booked to dissuade any of my colleagues or managers from attempting to give me anything to do. My logic is as follows ...

... No-one is going to expect anything much from me  in the last week, or rather 4 days, of my penury in Dante's Inferno. However, in my penultimate week, the Daemons might be less forgiving, so I have booked my remaining leave to minimise their opportunities for giving me work.*

Before I recount today's activities I probably need to fill in my activities over the past few weeks. Basically I decided to take Garden Leave whether Dante's liked it or not. My approach was as follows; I decided to perform the bare minimum that I assumed would avoid me being on the receiving end of any irritating complaints. This involved me dialling in to the early morning team call where I announced my presence. I then said nothing more unless I was asked a direct question. Needless to say, none were asked and my interpretation of this was that I was not required for the rest of the day and I metaphorically wandered off to do something far more interesting.***

Obviously I didn't have a Team Call today and, after a leisurely breakfast, I dealt with a few items of personal paperwork and accounting before heading over to Bad Man Senior's residence. The plan for today was to collect BMS, several lengths of timber and his decrepit garden gate. All being well the timber would get assembled to form a new gate and BMS and I would have a relatively relaxing day pottering in the garage with a leisurely lunch roughly around the mid point ...

... and that is exactly what we did. By four o'clock I was loading a new garden gate on to the Defender's roof rack and we headed back to the BMS residence where the gate dropped neatly on to the original hinge pins. After a swift cup of tea courtesy of SMS I attached the latch and bolt and the gate was as good as new.

All I need to do now is spend and hour or so tidying up the garage.
* According to their own "guidelines" I should be on Garden Leave but for reasons kept to themselves they seem content to leave me "working" ** on a Client Engagement.
** Snigger!
*** My lawn looks lovely and there is nothing better than an hour's kip on the sofa on a warm afternoon.

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