If ever proof were needed

Last year I made reference to The Black Cow of Doom, a sinister beast whose appearance foretells dread happenings.

Well, this morning I woke, dressed and wandered downstairs. The sun had risen and I made a start on my early morning chores. I picked up the honey box and wandered out to place it on my stall in the lane. As I walked out of the gate I heard a loud lowing from the field across the lane. I looked up and saw her silhouette against the horizon.

Oh my Christ, it was the Black Cow of Doom!

A shudder ran down my spine, as I suddenly remembered that 30% had arranged for Mr & Mrs Tweedy to  join us for lunch today.

If ever proof was needed that the most sinister of bovines foretold dread, this was it.  

My day was going brilliantly, then the BCoD appears and reminds me that my mother-in-law is coming for lunch. Suddenly my day is not going so well.

If you need further evidence, I checked on my Durham Early spring cabbage later in the day, and they are now growing beautifully.  Clearly the BCoD foretells the demise of caterpillars too.

Never underestimate the power of this beast.

Bits 'n pieces

I think that the bees have taken down all of the syrup that they will need, so I headed up to the orchard and removed the feeders from the hives. They were dumped in the carport, and will be put through a dishwasher cycle at some point in the next couple of days, before being put away in the store room.

My plan for today was to mow the lawns at the front of the house, but they needed a few hours of sun, to dry off the dew, before that could happen.

I therefore called Whiffler down from his bed and finished his clip. He now sports the early stages of a Miami clip, and looks quite smart. 

I do have one comment about clipping the old boy.  Whilst being clipped he stands there quite patiently and tends to look quite hunched and tired,* but as soon as I had finished he was jumping around and wanting to play with me. He is an old dog,** but he can still be quite boisterous, just in smaller doses nowadays.

The afternoon started with a trip to Screwfix to pick up a replacement airline. I had noticed a split in mine a couple of days ago, and the 5 Series tyres could do with a few more psi.  I then dragged the mower from the shed and tidied up the front lawn.

With the lawns tidy ish, I headed to the workshop to install the appropriate fittings on the new airline. Unfortunately I was a little heavy handed and managed to split the nut on end of the line. Fortunately Screwfix had another line in stock, and I headed out to pick up the replacement.

I can now report that I have a rather nice new airline hanging by the compressor in the carport and the BMW's tyres still need pumping up.

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* Which basically reinforced my decision to retire him from being a model at the Grooming School

** He's eleven now.

Learn something new every day

My plan for today was to make a start on the lawns. However, at this time of year they need a good couple of hours for the dew to dry off, before they can be mowed.

This meant that I had the morning free to find other things to entertain me. 

The clippers were found and Dog #4, aka The Rat, was summoned from her bed. The next hour was spent giving her an approximation of a Lamb Clip. She looks a lot better, but I am undecided whether to leave her like that, make it a Miami Clip, or shave the whole damned lot off ... Watch this space.

Since I had the clippers out, I also tidied up Whiffler's face and rear end.  He is due for a complete clip, but that was enough for this morning.

The afternoon saw me getting my step count up, with the mower around the lawns at the back of the house. They look much tidier, but two factors made me leave the front lawns until tomorrow.

Firstly my knee is still quite tender, and I am trying to avoid overdoing any exercise. Secondly, after about an hour of mowing, the mower's self propel mechanism failed. I finished the job by pushing the mower around and then consulted the internet to find out likely reasons for the failure.

The cognoscenti on YouTube suggested that the drive belt was likely to have slipped off, and provided a detailed video showing how to put the belt back on.  This all seemed quite straightforward, and, at this point, I should mention that it was a twenty four minute video, of which I watched about four minutes in total.

I soon had the mower upturned on the drive, and deployed my trusty socket set to remove the blade. The plastic cover was removed next and it was apparent that the drive belt had indeed slipped off. I soon had the belt back on the pulley wheel and the mower reassembled.

I now have to ask why the hell someone produced a twenty four minute video of a job that took a first timer less than twenty minutes to complete? I dropped the bloody woodruff key twice, once in to the guts of the mower, and it still only took me twenty minutes!

Usually I am quite a patient person,* but there was no way I was going to watch a tedious chap prattle on for nearly half an hour, when the salient information I needed was divulged in a fraction of that time.

Perhaps I am a lawn mower savant?

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* Please ignore 30% scoffing in the background.

A quick catch up

We been out and about for the past few days, hence the lack of Journal entries.  Here is a quick summary of what we've been up to.

Friday was spent at The Malvern Autumn Show at the Three Counties Show Ground.  We had a lovely time wandering around the floral and vegetable exhibitions and the many craft and retail stalls. We also met up with Hobson and TB's breeder, as she was hosting a Parti Poodles stand at the World of Animals exhibition. She was keen to hear how TB was settling in, and was delighted that everything was going so well.

We came home with a selection of tulip bulbs, and realisation dawned that I should have purchased a load of compost when I visited the Nursery on Thursday. Oh well, we need daffodil bulbs too!

Now on to Saturday and Sunday ...

This weekend we had arranged to pop down to Aston Clinton for an overnight stay with C&S. TP had agreed to come home and look after the dogs and chickens, and he arrived home nice and early. We had time for a quick catch up on his news, before we headed down the M40 towards Thame.

As usual we had a lovely, lazy time with C&S. The afternoon was taken up with lunch and conversation, before we settled to watch the Women's Rugby World Cup.  A bottle of fizz was opened at half time and several more bottles were consumed, along with a fine venison casserole, before we eventually retired to bed, very late.

Sunday morning was, unsurprisingly, unhurried. Many cups of coffee were drunk and a fine English Breakfast, or more accurately, brunch was scoffed before we headed home.

It is fair to say that we were both a little hung over, so Sunday afternoon was mostly taken up with an extended snooze.

I'm certain I will be more productive tomorrow.

Insect pests

 Before you ask, "Yes the wasp sting is still itchy this morning"

Thursday was spent mostly in the garden.  I pushed The Beast up to the orchard this morning and finished mowing up there.  It looks much tidier and the optimist in me is hoping that I won't need to mow it again until next year.

I do have slightly troubling news. The Beast has been a little temperamental on the last couple of times that I have used it.  It has cut out and, initially, been reluctant to start. When it finally does start it will only run for a few seconds before dying again. This suggests that there is either a problem with the fuel or with the carburettor. If the mower is left for ten or twenty minutes it will start and run with no problem. 

Perhaps it is trying to tell me that I should have a coffee break?

Anyway, the morning saw me finish up in the orchard. In the afternoon 30% and I planted out the areas that I cleared at the beginning of the week.  The planting was mostly focussed on dividing up some of our established herbaceous perennials* and using them to fill the gaps. Although, a few impulse buys did find new homes out there too.

I just hope that the weather stays mild and allows the plants to establish before winter sets in. I also hope that we get a little more rain next summer too.

Final job of the day was to whizz up to the nearest Nursery and purchase a spray bottle of insecticide. I then liberally doused my row of spring cabbage ... I still can't see what's eating them but I'm suspicious it may be caterpillars?

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* Heleniums, Michaelmas Daisies

Ouch, you little sod!

Most of my mornings start in much the same way.  If I am up early enough, I will have a leisurely cup of coffee and browse the news headlines, before heading outside to let out the chickens.

This morning seemed to be no different. I exited the back door, grabbed a watering can, and filled it from the outside tap. I was about to go and top up the chicken's feeder when I felt a sharp sting at the back of my neck. I reached around and found a bloody wasp had taken a dislike to me. I dislodged the little bugger, but it was determined to have another go. I managed to swat it at the second attempt and crushed the little bastard underfoot. 

So I now have two throbbing wasp stings on the back of my neck!

As a beekeeper I get sting occasionally. Usually I am wearing a bee suit and gloves and the stings are minor.  The pain subsides within a few minutes and I forget all about them within an hour.  

Wasp stings, on the other hand, are completely different. When I've been stung by wasps previously I have found them to be very painful and I end up with an inflamed lump that can last for a day or two.  I hate the little fuckers. They sting for no reason, and they are a real pest in the apiary.

This wasn't the best start to my day! 

Right, I've finished my rant about this irritating member of the Hymenoptera, and will now recount the rest of the day.

The weather was fine and I was home alone, so I decided to drag The Beast from the shed and attempt to make the orchard look more presentable.  I spent a couple of hours heaving the mower over the uneven ground up there and by lunchtime I had cut about sixty percent of the grass.

The weather was warmer than I thought and I was absolutely shattered when I wandered back to the house for a sandwich.

It will come as no surprise that a snooze on the sofa followed lunch. 

I woke feeling relatively refreshed and decided it was time to attend to item #2 on today's to-do list,

I grabbed my helmet and new motorcycle jacket from the wardrobe and headed out to the garage. I needed to pop over to Arden motorcycles and arrange for my CBR 600 to be collected.* I decided that the R1250R was well overdue for a run, so selected it for my conveyance to Alcester.

I spent a few minutes sorting out a date for my Honda to be collected and then decided that I should put a few more miles on the BMW's odometer.  I had a fast run down the bypass to Evesham before taking the twistier roads back home.  I didn't go far, but I did have fun.  I say it every time,  "I really should ride my bikes note often".

I went to Tai Chi in the early evening before settling down after quite a busy day. 

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* It needs a light recommissioning, including cleaning and refurbishment of the carburettors. I spoke to the chaps at Arden back in July, and we had agreed to defer the work until their workshop was a little less busy.

Fair Game

Yesterday evening 30% mentioned that she had received an odd message on Facebook.  A few minutes later she advised that an acquaintance* had been shooting and had come home with a brace of duck and a few partridge. He then went off to play football and, unfortunately for him, managed to sustain a serious shoulder injury. He was no longer able to dress the birds and wondered if we would like them.

It therefore came as no surprise that my plans for this morning had been upended, and, after refuelling my car and collecting top soil and soil conditioner,** we headed over to collect the birds.

The rest of the morning was spent dressing a brace of mallard and two brace of partridge. I can dress poultry properly, but I am not overly keen on plucking and gutting birds. I therefore took the easy route and simply filleted the breasts of each of the birds ... That is where all the meat is, especially on a partridge!

They are now tucked away in the freezer.

In the afternoon I used the top soil and manure to rejuvenate the areas of the herbaceous border that I cleared yesterday.  I then gave them a good watering and will leave them for a day or two before planting.

I had been gardening near the veg patch and wandered over to take a look at the Durham Early spring cabbage. Something has been munching little holes in the leaves, but I can't identify the culprit. They are netted, so it is unlikely to be pigeons or mice. It could be slugs, but the row of Savoys alongside them is untouched? I scattered a  handful of slug pellets around the young plants, and will be keeping a close eye on them. I hope it's not bloody caterpillars.

It is my aim to finish feeding the bees this week, so I also made up another six litres of syrup during the course of the day and topped up the feeders on the hives. That should be enough now. I'll remove the feeders in a week or two, and let them settle down for the winter. 

That just about covers Tuesday's comings and goings.

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* He was actually the chap who purchase The Pile from us back in 2021.  He has subsequently separated from his wife and taken up with a new partner in the village. I describe him as "an acquaintance" because on the couple of occasions I met him I found him to be an arrogant twat.  The Pile was sold again when his marriage ended, but I don't really know the new owners.

** This is a polite way of saying rotted cow shit 

Mostly gardening

 First task of the day was to finish de-nailing the last few lengths of pallet wood, and stack them in the carport.

We then decided to spend the rest of the day in the garden.

Both of us had found the hot, dry summer quite demotivating from a gardening perspective. However much water was poured on to beds and borders, and in to pots and planters, nothing looked particularly good. Especially when the garden was viewed with a parched, brown lawn in the background. The summer hasn't encouraged us to do more than the bare minimum.

Since the rains returned at the beginning of the month, the garden has totally changed. The lawns have greened up, provided that you don't look too closely, and some late colour has appeared in the beds and borders.

And, it seems, our gardening mojo has returned.

This morning we finally got around to emptying the load of horse manure from the trailer.  This was spread in a deep layer in the veg patch alongside my row of possibly parsnips.  

Whilst we are still in the veg patch, 30% has recently taken down the bean stalks and supports, and has mentioned the possibility of me building another  two raised beds.  I think this is a great idea, as I find them really good for vegetable growing. They seem really easy to weed and water, and have produced some prize winning produce.  I just hope she is either really prompt, or really tardy when it comes to ordering the oak sleepers ... I really don't fancy building the beds in the middle of winter.

Lunch was taken and we headed in to the afternoon.

The plan was to dig up the Heleniums split them and replant them in the border, alongside the path that leads to the orchard.

That was the plan. What actually happened was that the Heleniums were dug up and split, and a number of new plants are now potted and sitting in the cold frame. I then spent the next couple of hours cutting back dead flower heads, digging, weeding and removing plants that are way too vigorous for their own good.*

It seems that the beds will need refreshing with some rotted manure and top soil before the Heleniums can go back in the ground. That can wait until tomorrow.

The final item to report was a trip in to Redditch. 

30% had found a gentleman advertising a little used motorcycle touring jacket for £40.**  It wasn't exactly what I wanted, but at that price it was definitely worth a look.  We soon found the chap's address and the jacket was in "as new" condition. It fitted really well, so cash was handed over and hands were shaken.

It is an Alpinestars touring jacket in a restrained bronze colour way.  It is not made to the same quality as Halvassons and Lindstrands motorcycle gear, but I can't complain for forty quid. It'll do until I find something I really like. 

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* Sedums, Mint and Day Lilies come to mind!

** I have had my Lindstrands jacket for many years and have loved it. Unfortunately it is now well past its best, and is looking quite scruffy. It is definitely due for replacement. I have to say that not a single zipper has failed, but some of the lining has started to come adrift, and the velcro fasteners have abraded parts of the outer jacket. It's a sad goodbye.

Last inspection of the year

 As mentioned yesterday, the first job this morning was to syphon a few litres of water from the Bubble Machine, and replace it with a similar quantity of Severn Trent's finest.

I can now report that The Chatsworth is operating as I originally envisaged, although I reserve the right to add a squirt of washing up liquid if the floor in the greenhouse needs washing.

It was reasonably warm this morning, so I put on my bee suit and headed up to take a quick look in the hives.  There is not a huge amount to report. They are all looking very good, and I have no concerns about their ability to make it through the winter. 

Each of the colonies now has two or three frames of brood,* with the remaining frames** becoming filled with stores. I will feed them a few more litres of syrup over the next week, as each of the colonies has a frame or two that hasn't been completely filled. I didn't see any of the queens, but I could see that they are present and still laying.  There is no longer any need for regular inspections and I will not open up the hives until I need to remove the Apistan strips in a few week's time.***  

Having satisfied myself that the bees are doing well, I turned my attention to tidying the carport. The stone trough had been delivered on a pallet and I spent the rest of the day dismantling it. Generally this involves a lot of effort, but produces nothing more than a large pile of splintered kindling.  However, on this occasion, the pallet came apart quite easily and I now have a decent quantity of reclaimed softwood ... I just need to find a project to use it now.

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* The queen will reduce the size of the colony in preparation for autumn and winter.  Most of the drones have already been ejected from the hives, as they place an unnecessary demand on the colony's stores over the winter.

** A BS National brood box holds eleven frames in total.

*** The feeders will need to be taken off at some point, but that is non-invasive. 

The bubble machine

The weather was forecast to be heavy rain from about eleven o'clock onwards. I planned my day accordingly, and whizzed around the last area of unmown lawn, before the heavens opened. It was a ten minute job, and I soon had the mower tucked away in the shed.

I then cracked on with the job I had been looking forward to ... assembling the new water feature in the ornamental greenhouse.

Conscious that my back has been giving warning twinges recently, I was very careful in the manoeuvring of the heavy stone trough. I soon had it sited in the greenhouse and the pump and grill installed.

Our morning was then interrupted by a visit from 30%'s brother and sister. They had come to collect a bicycle that was going spare, and an hour was spent catching up on each others' news.

By mid morning they had gone and I returned to the little water feature. I soon had it up and running, but a mildly frustrating aspect was that I had to remove the stones a couple of times to adjust the flow rate of the pump.

After a few attempts, I had it running to my satisfaction and I am rather pleased with the sight and sound of the little bubbling fountain.

I know the glass is filthy!

That was the point at which I made a beginner's mistake.  The inside of the trough had a slight film of algae and I decided that a glug of bleach would soon clean that up and keep the water sparkling. I added a little bleach and wandered off leaving the pump running.

About ten minutes later I went back to check on my latest creation and learnt that even an incredibly dilute solution of bleach will foam very easily when agitated ... The top of the water feature was now totally obscured by a mass of bubbles, easily 12" in height. 

We both had a good chuckle at my water feature cum bubble machine and I added drain water feature and replace water to tomorrow's to-do list.

The predicted downpour turned out to be little more than a few light showers, but I had already decided to spend the afternoon with my head in a book. An inaccurate forecast was no reason to change my mind.

This evening we headed over to Evesham to join Bubbles and Bobbyn for a meal at The Orchard Beefeater. Their company was fine, but the meal and service was really not very good. 

I ordered calamari for my starter and was startled to see small gristly looking lumps that were clearly overcooked. I tried one and was horrified to find that the chef had dredged a tablespoon of salt over the dish. It was inedible and had to be sent back.

That basically took the shine off the entire dining experience, and the best I can say is that the sea bass was mediocre, edible, but far from amazing.

So that was Saturday. My bubble machine is an absolute triumph, whilst the dining experience at the Orchard Beefeater is most definitely not!

Mostly Mowing

 This morning I spent a few minutes clipping The Rat's face. 

It makes her look completely different, and it also made me realise that she really could do with her body being clipped too.  However, that would take a couple of hours and I really needed to work in the garden today.

The weather is forecast to get very wet tomorrow, and then become much cooler at the beginning of next week. The recent mild weather and light showers have really helped the lawn's recovery and they really do need a light trim, before the weather worsens.

As a result I spent the day alternating between mowing the lawns and suffering from hypoglycaemic events.

I can report that I did all of the lawns, except for the small area in front of the garage.*  It looks much tidier, and I think the light cuts are encouraging the grass to thicken up.

I can also report that I was very tired after a day striding up and down with the lawn mower.

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* With luck I'll get that done tomorrow morning, before the heavens open. 

Avoidance, not evasion

I forgot to mention that the Tai Chi autumn term started yesterday evening.

As is usual, I was reluctant to go, and then thoroughly enjoyed the session. Our group has a few new members, and it will be interesting to see how many of them stay for more than a few session. And I was delighted to see that JH didn't attend the session.*

Anyway, that was Wednesday, now on to today.

Today was not particularly busy. That is not to say that important things didn't happen, it was just that I didn't have a very hectic day.

First job of the day was to grab the clippers and spend twenty minutes tidying up Hobson's coat. It really didn't take much effort. I did a quick whizz around his rump and then tidied up around the back of his neck. The final job was to change blades and clip his face. 

I'm not exaggerating, it only took twenty minutes and he was no trouble at all. I don't use a grooming table or any restraints. I just get down on the floor, at the same level as the dog, and carry out the clip. I am amazed that the Groomer couldn't finish the job.

Anyway, he now looks quite presentable and I plan to tidy up The Rat at some point this week too.

Today's main event was our annual review meeting with our Financial Advisor.

We spent a couple of hours being taken through our portfolios, recommended changes and tactics for avoiding paying more tax than is absolutely necessary.  I have reached the point where I will need to dip in to my retirement savings in the near future, and the FA has come up with a cunning way to do this whilst limiting tax liability and preserving as many of my Premium Bonds as possible.

Our FA is a lovely chap and he regularly reminds up that we are two of his easiest clients to manage. Apparently we have made some sound financial decisions, ** and don't spend rashly. 

I should also note that TP might do well out of this in a few year's time, as we need to think about minimising his future Inheritance Tax liabilities.

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* I wouldn't wish anything terrible upon her, but I would be eternally grateful if she never, ever attended another Tai Chis session ever again ... Mindful, she isn't!

** More by luck, than judgement!

An unexpected outcome

Today Hobson and Wilson* had appointments at the grooming salon.

It was Wilson's first session at the grooming school, and we were both a little concerned about how he would behave.  I had groomed him at home and he had been very good, but he can be funny with strangers. This was also the first occasion that he had been left in a strange place, since we adopted him in May.

We stressed that the Groomer should call us if there were any problems, and gave them free rein to do as much, or as little, as they felt comfortable with, for his first salon clip.

We left, calling in at the supermarket, before heading home.

The rest of the day was spent pottering in the garden.  30% was focussed on cleaning and tidying in the Ornamental Greenhouse, whilst I attended to a niggling problem with the lawn at the back of the house.

I have to be honest and say that none of the lawns look amazing after three months of drought, but the back lawn had a French drain installed last December, and turf above the drain has not recovered.  The seed sown over this drain didn't stand a chance in the parched conditions, and we currently have a narrow track of bare earth and dead grass crossing the lawn.

This afternoon I liberally scattered grass seed along the route of the drain. A light covering of compost was sieved over the seed, and firmed down. I then gave the seed a good water and now I just need to let nature take its course.  The weather conditions are perfect for grass growth. The soil is still warm, and the frequent showers should provide perfect conditions for germination. I am hoping to see signs of recovery in the next couple of weeks.

The new French drain isn't the only problem. The lawn in front of the Ornamental Greenhouse is in even worse condition. I can see me having to fence it, to keep off the dogs, and then re-seed it.

Anyway, apologies, I seem to have wandered slightly off topic ... back to dog grooming.

Late in the afternoon 30% received a phone call. It was the Groomers calling to advise that Hobson and Wilson were ready for collection. I could tell, from the half of the conversation I heard, that there was more news than just that.

It appears that Wilson was an absolute star. He was described as "a complete gentleman" and was no problem to groom.  Hobson, on the other hand, was, apparently, a complete pain in the arse, and it seems that they had to abandon grooming him. 

Now this came as a complete surprise as he has been groomed there many times before. He can wriggle a bit when his legs are being clipped, but generally he is fine. The groomers had actually taken a video of his behaviour for us to see how bad he was.

In the thirty minute drive in to Stratford we imagined all sorts of horrors, but were at a loss to understand what had happened. I have groomed Hobson on a few occasions and he is no problem at all. And his temperament is wonderful. He is the most loving dog we have ever owned and we were totally confused by the news.

When we arrived we saw that Wilson looks absolutely fantastic in his new clip, whilst Hobson had been washed, dried, brushed and his clip was probably about eighty percent complete. We were shown the video and neither of us could really see what the fuss was about. It seems that he was pawing at the groomer when she walked in front of him. There was no growling or anything like that. He was just playfully pawing at her while she tried to clip him.  We agreed that we would groom Hobson at home from now on, and Wilson was booked in for a solo visit in six week's time.** 

On the way home we both agreed that Hobson hadn't really been a problem dog. Without doubt, the trainee will encounter far worse in their grooming career. We have heard of dogs that need to muzzled and tranquillised before they can be groomed. Hobson was being playful and just needed a firm hand.

Oh well, it looks like three of our dogs will be having a daddy haircut from now on .. and a trainee groomer is in for a few surprises in their chosen career.

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* We may well have found a suitable alias for Wilson. He was going to be called Mummy's Boy, as he showed a strong preference for 30%'s company, and was never far from her side. But he has recently seemed to have realised that I am not as unpleasant as he initially thought, and has taken to sitting at my feet, or even curling up beside me on the sofa. Traitorous Bastard, or TB for short, may well be his new epithet.

** Remember that Whiffler was retired after his last grooming session.

Restocking the stall

My objective for today was to get another batch of honey bottled and ready for sale.

It's not a particularly arduous task, but it is time consuming. Each batch of honey will take a couple of hours to clarify in the hot water bath, and I tend to process two batches on each occasion. This will yield about eleven pounds of honey,* which should keep the stall stocked for a couple of weeks.

The preparations include sterilising jars and making sure that my work area is clean and tidy. It is no surprise that I don't achieve much else on a day like today.

Previously I used to bottle all of my honey immediately after extracting it from the frames. This seemed to be quite efficient, but I found that the crop would often crystallise in the jars. Set honey doesn't seem to sell well to my clientele, so I found myself struggling to clarify honey that had already been bottled.

Bottling a batch every couple of weeks seems to be the best way forward. I rarely have problems with crystallisation and honey is far easier to bulk store in lidded, food safe buckets. 

So that was my Tuesday, honey bottling interspersed with general pottering ... actually I stuck my head in a book whenever I could,** although 30% and I did head out for a short walk with the dogs in the afternoon.

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* 22 x eight ounce jars.

** It is interesting that as soon as autumn arrives I tend to read again. All summer my reading has been limited to news websites, the New Scientist, and general crap on the internet. Now the leaves are turning I find time for a good, and regular, helping of fiction.