Thursday, 21 February 2013

The search for THE table continues ...

The search for a dining table continued today with visit to Stratford. After taking T&M for an early morning walk we headed over to the home of the Bard for a wander around an Auction House, I have to be honest and say that I am getting more and more confused as 30% is sending some very mixed messages. The tables she says she REALLY likes are in tip top condition, highly polished and with an asking price as high as the gloss on their surface. However the tables she directs my attention to in Auction Houses tend towards either scruffy or totally impractical.

Today was a perfect example. We had visited this Auction for a viewing of a dark oak table she had seen in their on-line catalogue. Let's put aside the fact that I didn't like the carved edge and legs for a moment and consider the fact that the fucking thing was over six feet long at it's shortest and with it's six extra leaved added would reach a length of over fourteen feet. It was totally impractical for a room that is only 12' x 14' and matched neither the chairs we have just sent to be re-upholstered nor the fire surround she insisted remained as focal point in the dining room ...

... "but the Auctioneer's estimate is three to four hundred pounds" she reminded me. I silently said "yes, and that is because a) it is pig fucking ugly and b) no-one has a room or enough chairs to accommodate the monstrosity. It was totally inappropriate for the house and the clutter of the viewing room would not allow a close inspection either.  Talk about a pig in a poke. I toned down my true opinion by several notches and we moved on to the next table. This one was oak and was very scruffy. The top was badly scratched and would need a complete re-polish. It was a million miles away from the tables she admires on-line and I simply advised that we could do a lot better.

We finished our perusal of the lots and then nipped out of town to visit another Dealer 30% had located on the web. She had forgotten to read his web site so I hastily made a phone call from a lay-by near his house and made an appointment to view his stock. He had a couple of tables that had potential but our two minutes of notice meant that much of his stock was stacked in a poorly lit warehouse, so we left making promises to make a further appointment when he could move our preferred tables in to his viewing room.

In the post-viewing analysis it became apparent that 30% did quite like the look of one of his tables but the price put in the same bracket as one she lusts after in the wilds of Yorkshire.

Lord, give me strength.

In the afternoon I did my utmost to stay out of the biting cold and set up a temporary workshop in the house. I finished the glazing of my oak picture frames and inserted the mounted photographs. We now have a trio of portraits of T&M and need to find wall space to accommodate them.

In the late afternoon I finally found time for a nap in front of the fire and in the evening 30% then moved on to her equally haphazard search for an Audi TT. It is fair to say that her automotive selection process is just like her approach to furniture buying.

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