Monday, 30 May 2016

Problem Areas in the Garden

If yesterday was relaxing today was most definitely not ...

...  First let me set the scene; at the end of the garage there is an open area that is the perfect size and shape for parking one of the cars. At the moment this area is piled high with enormous stone blocks that were excavated when we had the wall at the front of the house rebuilt last year. At the back of this hardstanding is a raised area of about eight square meters that is covered with brambles and ivy.

The ultimate plan is to use the stone blocks to create a stone wall to border two sides of the hardstanding and then to have the area paved.  The plan for today was to make a start on clearing the brambles and ivy so that the site is sufficiently clear for Tradespersons to be able come in and quote for the wall and paving. We also want to clear the hidden strip of adjoining land that runs behind the garage.*

First thing this morning** 30% and I went out and hitched the trailer to the Land Rover. We then started by loading my "Tip Pile"*** in to the trailer. This barely filled the trailer half full, so secateurs and tree loppers were brought out and we made a start on the brambles and ivy.

I was on cutting duties and 30% was loading the ivy in to the trailer and the brambles in to the garden waste bins. After about an hour 30% went off to make coffee whilst I continued to hack a path towards the back of the garage. I kid you not, it was like an Explorer clearing a path through darkest African forest.

30% returned  with coffee and I eventually emerged from the the undergrowth. After taking a break 30% suggested that we headed over to the Tip.  I went to inspect the trailer and was amazed to see it piled high. I was under the impression that we hadn't made much of a dent and was, instead, presented with a large heap of green debris. The load was securely tied and we headed off to dispose of the debris.

Upon our return, we lunched and then headed off for a walk with the dogs.

It was then a case of back to the grindstone and we assaulted the jungle once more. We eventually gave up at around six o'clock and could actually see that progress had been made ...

... But there are going to be a few more back breaking days and trips to the tip before we are in a position to bring in hired hands to start walling and paving.
* It should be noted that, at no point in this narrative, have I mentioned the "Kindling Pile" ... [WARNING: Rant Mode Engaged]

... A few years ago a "friend" advised that they had collected some pallet wood from their place of work and wondered if we wanted it for kindling. Feeling somewhat obligated, we accepted the offer and ended up collecting an ENORMOUS pile of wood.

My view was that we didn't really need it because I can always find a few sticks to light a fire and, worst case, I can always track down a pallet and attach it with a chainsaw. I most definitely did not need about six pallets worth of kindling.

To make matters worse, 30% and TP attempted to stack the aforementioned pile of wood behind the garage and their "stack" looked more like an exploded windmill. As a consequence I had to deconstruct their fucking mess, re-stack it and get a tarpaulin to cover it.

As previously stated " I can always find a few sticks to light a fire' so this bloody stack has sat there, untouched, for God Knows how fucking long.

So, now I have to dismantle it once more and take it to the bloody tip. [Rant mode disengaged]

** Well, as close to "first thing" as you get on a Bank Holiday and probably closer to ten o'clock

*** General Garden detritus that is too large for disposal by other means. Consequently it is collected and stored until such time that I can be arsed to go to the tip.

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