The Conversation

As part of submitting an application for a new Piano Moving role I need to confirm that I have had a discussion with my current Manager and that he is able to release me within a reasonable timeframe.

It is fair to say that I was somewhat apprehensive about this chat.

I really like my current Boss. He took a huge risk in taking on an external hire to do what I do and he has given me high praise and awards in the time I have been there. Recently he has put me in the frame for an very high profile role* on the Account and I felt that I would be letting him down by deciding to seek a new opportunity.

First task of the day was to get a short call arranged with my Boss and the best time for both of us was four o'clock in the afternoon.

I wasn't at my most focussed for much of the day, but I did get a reasonable amount done including putting the finishing touches to a messy piece of work that involved numerous fruitless enquiries. The final result was a spreadsheet littered with assumed values and packed with arse covering assumptions and risk statements.

Rob; the gardener turned up after lunch and has made a great start on sorting out a couple of areas in the garden. He has rotorvated and turfed the area I had cleared up by the bee hive** and has made a start on building a low, sleeper wall . This will replace a crumbling, dry stone wall that purports to supports the edge of the  lawn.

Four o'clock came around and the call kicked off with a few social niceties before I brought up the subject of my decision to seek a new position. My Boss took it very well and, whilst sorry to see me go, confirmed that he was willing to support my application ... That removed a weight from shoulders and my last action of the day was to submit my application for the new role.

I then spent a happy hour stood out in the drizzle soaking the turf that Rob had laid.  It seemed somewhat superfluous to be watering turf in the rain, but I was well aware that a short shower was nowhere near the soaking that was necessary to give this new grass a good start.

I wandered back in to the house to encounter 30% interviewing "Penny"... It appears that we may now have a Cleaner.

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* I have looked carefully at that chalice and am sure that I see a skull and cross bones icon engraved discretely upon it.
** He too was "somewhat apprehensive" as the bees were on to a major flow of nectar and there was a lot of coming and going around the hive entrance.

Be very careful when name dropping

First thing this morning I had a conversation with the Hiring Manager for a potential new role.

The call went well and I have the skills and experience that they are looking for ... probably more than they expected.

The new role is supplying solutions to Dante's Nine Circles of Hell and the fact that I had lead Solution Teams at Dante's amazed them.  I am also one pay grade above the experience level requested in the job advertisement.*  The Hiring Manager advised that he would need to discuss recruiting at a higher pay grade with his Boss and HR, but that should not dissuade me from applying.

During the call I dropped a couple of names  and later in the day I was pinged by one of those "names". We had a conversation which started with "I've been racking my brains trying to recall where we have met?" I was ready for this one and recounted our first encounter in 2013 while I was still employed by Dante's followed up by more recent press the flesh type encounters and topped this with" and we both have an interest in Land Rovers".

The set the mood for the rest of the conversation and after he commended my memory we had a nice chat about Defenders before talking about my professional experience. If I have interpreted the discussion correctly it appears that I have initiated a flurry of conversations and that the Hiring Manager is already talking to his Boss about looking at higher grade applicants. It also appears that Mr Oranges & Lemons has been putting in a good word for me too.

This could all go horribly wrong.

The rest of the day rumbled on and eventually I drafted an email to my Boss advising that I had decided to seek new opportunities within the Organisation. It was the usual "grateful for the opportunities you have given me" type of stuff accompanied by an entirely plausible reason for the decision. I hit [SEND] and scurried away as quickly as possible

Before any one asks, I have not only been there five minutes. I have actually been in this role thirty three months. Yep, three months short of my third anniversary!

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* The majority, if not all of the people, in this job are the same pay grade as me and it appears that they may be trying to control cost.**
** You will also limit quality of output with that approach.

Time for a change?

The contract that underpins the Account, on which I work, expires in about 18 months time.

The renegotiation discussions have already started and the RFP documents are expected in the next few weeks. I spent all of February and March this year glued to a laptop managing a team with the aim of delivering a proactive proposal* to the client and am now being put in the frame to spend twelve months or more managing the RFP responses.

As Joe Strummer would put it "Should I stay or should I go?"

I quite like what I am doing and have developed a reputation for delivering quality output, but the Account I work on is not a well oiled machine. In fact the  appropriate visual metaphor would be the wreckage of a locomotive and carriages, complete with passengers, fragmented and strewn across an embankment.

It is not well run** and I am wondering if it is time to be one of the onlookers in the foreground of that picture?

There are not a huge amount of Piano Moving jobs available here in the UK but there is one advertised that might be suitable for me. As a result I have arranged a call with the hiring manager and updated my CV. The call is scheduled for tomorrow morning, so it is a case of wait 'n see.

I am hoping that the new role is closer to what I originally thought I was being employed to do. It would also be working in partnership with my old employer; Dante's Nine Circles of Hell ... Now that could be interesting!

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* This wasn't a fun time and did not turn out as expected.
** This is an understatement.

Back on the Merry-go-round

The working week is now officially underway and it is fair to say that my Monday was somewhat less than frenetic.

Don't get me wrong, a quiet Monday is a beautiful thing and I took great pleasure from my skinny in-box, the few incoming e-mails that simply needed to be passed on to the correct people and the many opportunities I had to wander out in to the garden and simply enjoy the sun.

I did have to get suited and booted and drive in to the nearest depot for a meeting early in the afternoon.

On the way in to the Office I glanced at the fuel gauge on The Defender and nagging thoughts returned. When I picked her up last week she appeared to have been returned with a full fuel tank. I didn't get to talk to the mechanic who had worked on her, so I didn't get the details on what had been done, but I would not have expected them to put more fuel back in to her than they had removed. I wasn't sure if they had buggered up* the fuel level mechanism when replacing the tank breather.

The meeting was somewhat "extracurricular"  as it was about a programme of activities at work where the Company get involved with local Schools and work with Students, preparing them for the world of work. I have done a couple of similar sessions at the University of Worcester for Moneypenny and quite enjoyed them, so am looking forward to getting involved in this programme.

Back at home I finished early and took the opportunity to catch a quick sleep on the sofa. I am still getting hay fever symptoms and it may be that the antihistamines are making me sleepy ... or I am just a lazy git.

This evening we bundled Whiffer in to the Defender and headed over to Dog Training. He still hasn't grasped the basics of the lidded box exercise and, after a return journey of twenty miles, the Defender fuel gauge is still showing a full tank.

It looks like I'll be having a chat with Mark at the workshop tomorrow. On a more positive note; I did get a call from Rob and he will be here to make a start on the garden on Thursday.

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* Technical Term

A fairly lazy Sunday

Sunday started at a very leisurely pace with a breakfast of coffee and croissants.

There then appeared to be some confusion over how the morning was to be filled.  I thought that we were headed in to town whilst 30% was adamant that ironing and The Archers Omnibus edition were most definitely at the top of her priority list.

I didn't want to stand in the way of crease free clothing so I left 30%  to her mission, dragged The Shitter from the garage,* and headed in to town. Antihistamines were the only one item that I absolutely needed so I used this as an excuse to ride out on my little green Royal Enfield.**

 I was back in time for an early lunch and then 30% said that she would like to come and inspect the bees with me. We donned bee suits, veils and gloves, gathered equipment and lit the smoker.

Once again the colony was incredibly calm as we opened up the hive. The crown board and feeder were removed and we got a first look at the Super that was installed last weekend. They had drawn out the foundation on seven or eight of the ten Super frames and were already starting to store nectar in the cells.

The was no sign of the Queen in the Super so it was removed and we made a start on the Brood Box. The development of the colony continues to amaze me. There was huge amounts of brood and stores. They had also been very busy building a lot of drone brood.*** This was scraped away and even that caused surprisingly little reaction in the colony.

We eventually caught sight of the Queen wandering across one of the new frames and I was reassured that all was going quite well. I was particularly impressed that one of the frames of foundation that was inserted three weeks ago is now a frame of capped stored of honey. In under three weeks**** they have drawn out the foundation in to cells, filled it with honey and maintained the environment to get the moisture content to a point where they have capped off the cells to store it for hard times. The other new frames have also developed really well and are now holding capped brood, pollen and honey stores ... remarkable!

The inspection was completed. A Queen Excluder was installed between the Brood box and the Super and the hive was closed up for another week. I decided to remove the feeder as the bees haven't taken much of the syrup and it was starting to attract ants. We tidied up and rewarded ourselves with a coffee and a slice of cake.

It was then time for a walk with the dogs in afternoon sunshine.  I had then planned to move a couple of bookcases in the house, but, instead, I hit the sofa and snoozed for an hour or so.

So that just about sums up my Sunday. If all goes to plan the garden will take another step forward next week when when Rob arrives to build the retaining wall and lay some turf.

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* I really must rearrange the bikes in the garage so that the others also get ridden.
** She has been back on the road for about a year now and I have to admit that I have become very fond of her. She is basic and not very fast, but her small dimensions make her easy to ride.  I have become accustomed to kick starting her and regularly enjoy trundling around the local lanes and bends.
*** Drones are the male bees and they do not work to develop or support the colony. Their only purpose is to go on mating flights and fertilise virgin queens. Removal of the drone brood creates more space for worker brood, and is also seen as a way of reducing the number of varroa mites, which are a major pest.
**** The colony did very little in the first week

Visitors

At some point mid-week 30% asked if she had told me that the Oranges & Lemons clan were here for lunch on Saturday  ...

Now this may come as a bit of a surprise, as I am something of a planner, but, in my world, calendars are something that happen to other people. For most of the time I barely know what day of the week it is and, as for the date, thank heavens for that little pop up in the lower. right hand corner of my laptop's screen.

... I confirmed my ignorance and carried on with the remainder of my working week.

This morning I was tasked with tidying the house and garden in preparation for the arrival of our visitors. I had had sufficient foresight that I had got the lawn mowed a couple of days ago, so the morning was spent picking up family detritus and putting it away.

When TP wandered downstairs and wandered in to the kitchen I fixed him with a baleful stare and threatened dreadful ills if he messed up either of the two rooms I had just tidied.

30% arrive back from her shopping trip and we were soon prepared for our visitors. We even had time for a quick chat with Moneypenny, who is hoping to move house in a couple of week's time.

We had a lovely lunch with the O & L clan and we had so much to chat about that it was getting close to seven o'clock before children were dragged away from TP's Playstation and bundled in to the car.

The evening was spent relaxing in front of the television, where one of the discussions was whether a Brexit vote would guarantee that I, and the rest of the country, would never have to participate in, or watch, the Eurovision Song Contest.

Do not, I repeat, DO NOT get me fucking started on what a complete pile of televisual shite that is! Fortunately there was an X-Men film on instead.

The end of the working week

Today I wheeled The Shitter from the garage, Slipped my laptop in to my backpack* and headed in to the nearest depot of The Neat & Tidy Piano Movers.

I had expenses to submit and prefer to head in to the office on Fridays for a couple of reasons.

Firstly;  Friday has a "casual" dress code which is generally interpreted as "come to work dressed like a tramp" by my colleagues. This means that my sweatshirt, jeans and Dr Martens combo was going to look positively upmarket.** Secondly; Very few of my colleagues actually head in to the office on Fridays*** so I can spread myself out and don't get dragged in to fascinating conversations about router configs or football.

The morning went well and I had completed almost everything I needed to by eleven o'clock. I wandered out of the office and five minutes later found my self sat in the Barber's chair getting a much needed haircut. That took about quarter of an hour and I then headed over the road to the sandwich shop before heading back in to the office.

I lunched and then worked for another couple of hours, but eventually reached the point where I actually had nothing else that really needed doing. I had achieved the goals that I had set for myself so I headed home.

I would like to say that I spent the rest of the afternoon on a domestic project, but I actually hit the sofa and had a kip. I am not sure if it is the hay fever or the antihistamines but I felt absolutely zonked.

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* This was much to the annoyance of Eddy the cat. I tend to leave my laptop bag on the floor in the home office, beside the desk. For some strange reason Eddy has taken a liking to the bag and it is near the top of the list of his most preferred sleeping places. He is curled up, asleep there as I sit and type this.
** I swear I have seen sandals, shorts and a football shirt presented as the height of sartorial elegance by certain members of staff.
*** This should be read as "actually do any work on a Friday"

A Confession?

Today's big news was that the Lawn Mower was give it's first outing after last weekend's refurbishment. The freshly sharpened blades cut beautifully and this was a good job as the sward had put on quite a growth spurt over the last week.*

I have made a rather sad, lawn mower related resolution and now actually upturn the beast and clean the deck after each cut. The mower design results in a lot of grassy crud adhering to the underside of the deck but the bulk of this was soon scraped away. I am hoping that this will be sufficient to hold back the corrosion ... Christ! my life is getting very sad if I am noting down my lawn mower maintenance regimen.

It can only get worse from here on in ...

... and now to the title of today's Journal entry.

When I was a child I had a large quantity of Hornby and Triang Hornby locomotives, rolling stock and accessories. This was eventually assembled in to a large, permanent layout that dominated my bedroom.

As my seventeenth birthday drew near the layout was taken apart and most of it was sold. The cash went towards the purchase of a blue Suzuki TS 185 ER. However, even though my desire for a shiny new motorcycle was immense I couldn't bear to part with all of my model railway. I packed away the original 2-rail Hornby Dublo items that Dated from the very early 1960's.

The items were few in number, but all still had their original boxes and the star was a metal bodied A4 Pacific locomotive that was in beautiful condition and still running sixty years on from manufacture.

Over time and house moves the majority of my childhood accumulations have been discarded but this tiny collection of wagons, 2 coaches and a couple of locomotives always went with me.

The proper " Made in England by Meccano Ltd. Liverpool" stuff

About a year ago 30% and I were wandering around an auction viewing and I noticed some Hornby items. I placed a commission bid on a whim ... I failed to win the lot but the childhood addition had returned. A few days later I entered the search term "Hornby Dublo" in to eBay  and was truly astounded at the quantity of items out there.

One of the things I have been up to over the past year is to greatly expand my collection,** much to the chagrin of 30%.***

So, there you have my confession; I love model railways. I always have and always will.

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* I am starting to regret following a Turfing Contractor's advice to fertilise it.
** Today a 4610 Bogie Bolster Wagon arrived in the post. It was in incredible condition considering it is over 50 years old. An inspection of the wheels suggests that it has had little, if any, track time and the box is immaculate. It even has the original packing inserts ... and the price for this fifty year old toy in near mint condition ... £9.00 plus p&p.
*** This may be due, in part, to the fact that I regularly point out that I have spent less on "trains" than she has on handbags

Hay fever?

I woke a few times during Monday night with a scratchy feeling at the back of my throat. The sort of symptom that is associated with the onset of a cold. Since then dry, itchy eyes, sneezing and a running nose have been added to the list.

It doesn't appear to be a cold so my layman's diagnosis is hay fever. The weird thing is that I have almost, never suffered from Hay fever in the preceding fifty odd years of my life. I say "almost" as I do recall a one-off occurrence back in the late '90s when I suffered eyes so itchy I wanted to scratch them out of my head. That was on a hot day in a city and may well have been as a result of pollen and pollution on a very hot day, but I don't recall ever having the full set of traditional hay fever symptoms before.

At the moment the weather is showery, which is supposed to reduce pollen counts and my symptoms aren't anything to complain about. I just hope that this is another rare episode and not something that I will be stuck with for the season.

Moving on from seasonal afflictions I'll avoid the subject of work today and, instead, make this a "Picture Post".

This locomotive was one of a pair sat in a siding a mile or so down the line from the Sacramento Railway Museum. We visited Sacramento last Summer and spent a couple of days taking in the sights, including the aforementioned and excellent museum. Apparently they had been brought in for restoration but time or money is not yet available for the work to commence. As a result they sit out in the sun occasionally getting tagged by the local youths.

Even in this rusty, unloved state they are still incredibly powerful beasts and quite awesome when you are up close and personal.

Work frustrations

There is not a lot to report today.

It was very much a case of "head down and get on with it". The day was spent chasing up on actions that had failed to be completed. It never ceases to amaze me how hard it is to get a simple answer to a simple question.

I appreciate that people are busy and that a question asked in an IM message or quick 'phone call can easily be forgotten. As a consequence I tend to use email to ensure that my "ask" is clearly documented, structured and accompanied by a justification and background information.

So, why do these get either deleted or simply left to fester in the recipient's inbox? Most people who know and work with me appreciate that I am somewhat thorough. If I ask a question I have a reason for asking. I don't just hassle people on a whim and then wander off to do something else instead.

If I ask a question I need the answer. I maintain a log of the information I am seeking out. I check it regularly and I will bloody well chase up the unanswered emails.

I swear I could complete my work in half the time and therefore double my output if my colleagues had a slightly more professional approach to work e-mails.

As four o'clock approach I had lost the will to live, so I phoned the workshop and determined that the Defender was ready for collection. 30% gave me a lift over to pick her up.

On leaving MP Trading I glanced at the fuel guage.  When I dropped the car off there yesterday she had just over half a tank of diesel. I noticed this because the original plan of work involved draining and removing the fuel tank.  When I collected her today she had a full tank of fuel. I am guessing that the tank did get drained and someone has kindly replaced more than was originally there.

That will take the sting out of the bill when it eventually arrives.

Back to work

The first job of the day was to drop the Defender off at the workshop.

Last Thursday I filled her up with diesel to fuel our return trip from The Gower. As I was about to leave the Service Station I noticed drops of fuel falling from the vicinity of the fuel tank. I took a quick look and it appeared to be from the top of the tank in the vicinity of the fuel pump and tank level mechanism. I booked her in for repairs as soon as we were back home and this morning 30% and I took  her over to Finstall to get it sorted.

By nine o'clock I was back at my desk and reviewing the surprisingly manageable quantity of email that had arrived during my week away. Within a couple of hours I had completed my first run through the inbox, had deleted the junk and was starting to update my records and document my current batch of solutions.

The home phone rang mid-morning. It was Mark from the workshop calling to advise that the fuel leak was actually due to a poorly routed breather pipe and could be rectified without the need to drain and remove the fuel tank. This was great news and meant that I felt slightly less guilty splashing out on a Mantec Swing Away Wheel Carrier for the rear door.*

I returned to my desk and had what evolved in to a productive day.

My only niggle was that I had asked one of my colleagues to locate a contact who might be able to provide historic hardware costs. I even provided the name of a guy who might be able to point us in the right direction ...

... It was apparent that the lazy sod hadn't bothered to pick up a phone in the past week and call the chap I had suggested. I had a lovely chat with him this afternoon and he was amazingly helpful. I now have a lead and can start reaching out for the missing numbers.

If you want a job doing ...

I managed to finish work at a reasonable time and got a Super installed on the hive. I haven't used a Queen Excluder** as they can inhibit the workers moving up in to the Supper and drawing out the foundation. I can always put one on at next week's inspection.

We had an early dinner and then headed over to Dog Training with Whiffler. The session went quite well but there is still one exercise he hasn't grasped.

A treat is placed in a lidded box at the far end of the village hall. Whiffler and I walk to the other end of the hall and I give him an "Away" command. He is supposed to go to the box and sit. I then return to him, open the box and give him his reward.

He is quite happy to head of towards the box, but as soon as I say "sit" he comes back towards me. This one definitely needs some work!

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* The door mounted spare wheel on a Defender tends to strain the door hinges over time due to it's weight. The new wheel carrier attaches and therefore transfers the wheel weight to the chassis and body rather than the door.
** A metal grid that has spaces large enough to allow access for worker bees but too small to allow the Queen in to the Super. It stops the Queen laying in the Supers so that the frames only hold honey.

Non-stop

I spent much of yesterday afternoon on some long overdue maintenance on the Porn Mower. The beast was upturned, it's blade was removed and sharpened and several years accumulation of green crud was removed from the underside of the deck. I then followed up with an electric drill / wire brush combo and eventually the rust was removed.

Today's objective was to get the mower deck painted, so the first task of the morning was to drag The Shitter from the garage and head over to B&Q in Redditch. Twenty minutes later I was heading home with a brush and a can of Hammerite in a fetching shade of yellow.

After a quick coffee, the mower was again upturned and a first coat of yellow paint was daubed around the underside of the deck.* By the time I was finished and cleaned up it was time for an early lunch taken in the cool of the house.

After lunch I headed back out in to the garden to remove a stump from the edge of the lawn. It is the last remnant of a scruffy line of shrubs that we removed last year. The plan is to level out the bed and turf it. Of course; nothing is ever that simple and a low retaining wall will need to be constructed from railway sleepers and a couple of tons of top soil will also be needed ...

... we have a man coming over to attend to this in a fortnight's time.

With the stump now added to my "tip pile" I grabbed a spade and spent the next couple of hours edging the lawn. It was sweltering and this was far more energetic than I had expected. I finished and took on fluids before applying the second coat of paint to the mower. It took about half an hour to apply the second coat and I have to report that the finish is hopefully "functional' rather than "attractive".

With the mower finished I retired to the sofa and attempted to get my blood sugar levels back to normal.

About an hour later TP and I donned veils and gloves and headed out to inspect the hive.

I last checked it on 29th April, just before we left for The Gower. At that point I was somewhat concerned. The nucleus colony was introduced to the hive a week prior to that, but in that time they had done very little. They hadn't touched the syrup in the feeder and had barely started to draw out the foundation on the new frames.

The weather had not been particularly pleasant for their first week at The Pile and I was concerned by the lack of development and whether they had sufficient stores to last another week of poor weather.

I was somewhat reassured by the fine weather last week and was hopeful as we approached the hive. The bees still hadn't touched the sugar syrup but had obviously been very busy out in the fields and gardens. The main cluster had expanded over further frames and had drawn out the foundation in to neat hexagonal cells on most of the frames in the brood box.** They had even started to fill these cells will nectar and pollen from their foraging.

It is fair to say that the colony was in much better shape than a week previously. As I pondered their progress I realised that there was a risk that their stores were taking up cells where the queen should be laying. I think I may need to give them a Super*** to move in to tomorrow.

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* I would like to say this had a factory fresh, professionally applied appearance, but dribbly and patchy are closer to the truth. I am working on the principal that a) no-one will see it and b) it is there to prevent rust, not look gorgeous.
** A brood box hold eleven frames. Five of these were provided as part of the nucleus colony and were filled with stores, pollen and brood. I then added six frames of foundation. This is a thin beeswax sheet imprinted with a honeycomb pattern. The bees produce beeswax and build new cells using the foundation as a template.
*** A Super is a removable hive section that holds shallow frames. These frames are used by the bees for honey production rather than brood. At the end of the season the Supers can be removed and the honey harvested.

Where the hell have you been?

The somewhat facetious answer to that question is that I have just returned from a week away on The Gower Peninsula, but the absence of Journal entires for the best part of a year probably requires either justification or remediation.

The reason for stopping the production for this drivel is quite simple and has actually already been explained. I found it very creepy to have a family member checking their iPad five or six times each day waiting for another post to appear. It was a peculiar and unwelcome form of prying that didn't help an already strained relationship and led to me abandoning The Journal. I wasn't best pleased about this as I actually missed jotting down this nonsense far more that I thought I would.

Now to the missing year ... don't panic ... I don't intend to attempt a summary of two hundred missing entries. My memory isn't that good.

The past year has been good. Work is going really well, although it is fair to say that there are massive challenges working with a team that lack a basic knowledge of profit and loss and cost and revenue.* My Boss holds me in high regard and basically just gives me challenges** and lets me go off and "do my own thing". If it is complicated, messy or "Political" bad man gets assigned to it. Apparently he likes my approach which can be very much like the boy in The Emperor's new Clothes.

Away from work, we have continued to nibble away at the restoration of The Pile and I now just need to sand and fit the cupboard doors in the hall before we can officially declare it "Finished".*** We have now turned our attention to the garden and are moving forward with a few projects aimed at making it tidy and manageable. Think along the lines of retaining walls, scrub clearance and turfing  rather than water features and planting plans.

A couple of holidays have been taken and, when I am short of time or enthusiasm, I will present a few photo's from last August's trip to California and Nevada. We also revisited the cottage on The Gower peninsula in November and again at the New Year. It is fair to say that those two breaks in Wales offered a range of weather rarely seen in California and certainly not in the space of 24 hours!

So there you have it. I can't think of anything particularly momentous to report, but, with my memory, there is a strong chance that a future post will reveal some serious shit that has escaped my barely functioning brain at eight o'clock on a Sunday morning.

I have to go now ... I need to wind the clock.

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* Frightening, but true!
** That is one word for them. Cans of worms and Piles of crap are equally suitable synonyms.
*** Apart from the fact that the exterior needs a repaint, some cracked render needs repairing and the garden is most definitely still "a work in progress". Realistically it will never actually be finished but it definitely now falls in to the category of "Presentable".

Some people seek out a hobby ...

... Others have one foisted upon them.

After leaving the hallowed halls of the Educational Establishment formerly known as Wolverhampton Polytechnic back in 1985, I needed to secure employment in order to fund my crappy transport and incredibly limited social life.*

After a few months working in a laboratory at an animal feed mill, I ended up employed by the Ministry of Agriculture at their National Beekeeping Unit on the outskirts of Stratford-on-Avon. I spent a year there and have to say that it was an absolutely fascinating experience.

I experienced the full range of beekeeping experiences from general inspections, disease diagnosis and apiary management through to honey production and harvesting, hive construction and queen rearing.

Thirty years later I still remember those experiences and the fascinating relationship that has developed between man and this social insect.

So, it is fair to say that I was absolutely delighted when I was presented with two massive boxes on Christmas morning and discovered that it was a "flat pack" bee hive.

Jumping forward to today I can report that the hive has been assembled and positioned on a couple of paving slabs that have been laid in a sunny spot at the edge of the garden. A nucleus colony of Buckfast bees has been ordered from a Supplier and today was the day I headed over there to collect them.

It is fair to say that I was quite apprehensive about my reacquaintance with beekeeping as I realise that I am far from an expert but I was somewhat reassured by the Supplier who assured me that it would "all come back".

It is very easy for a colony of bees to fail and that scenario is a black cloud on the horizon very like those that make British Summers so challenging for a beekeeper.

By half past ten me and my 5 frame "nuc" were back at home. I positioned the nuc box on the hive stand and opened up the entrance. I was greeted by an advance guard of fifty or so noisy bees and I retreated for several hours while they became acquainted with their new location.

Later in the day TP and I returned with a lit smoker and fully garbed in bee suits. The nucleus box was removed from the hive stand and replaced with the brood box, which will be their permanent home.**  We then transferred the five frames of brood, stores and bees across to the brood box***and added three frames of foundation either side of the nucleus for it to expand in to as it grows.

An Ashforth feeder was placed on top of the brood box and 5 litres of sugar syrup were added . We then covered this with the crown board and roof and retired to a safe distance.

Now I just need to avoid the temptation to peek and let the little colony go about it's business, drawing out the frames of foundation and filling it with brood and stores of pollen and honey.

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* It is fair to say that, back in the second half of the 1980's, my life would be described as unsophisticated. There was not a huge amount to do in, or around, a small town in South Worcestershire, but I remember it fondly. The few friends I had were close and loyal and we managed to enjoy ourselves immensely despite the dearth of facilities that are now available, often at the touch of a button.
** until the buggers swarm!
** We didn't see the queen, but we just wanted to get finished before it started to rain!

I eventually managed to achieve something

The first task on Sunday morning was to plant up the new bed at the front of the house.

After setting out the plants in a pleasing pattern,* I left 30% to set the plugs in the soil and wandered off to collect the wheelbarrow and spade. I then attempted to clear two very small piles of soil and hardcore that had been left by Hayden. Within minutes I was sweating like a pig and was absolutely exhausted. I just could not perform anything physical and after nine days of this bloody cold I was starting to get very frustrated.

The remainder of the morning was a complete wash-out and I did little more than potter and drink coffee. In the afternoon 30% and I headed in to Redditch to take a look around a Reptile specialists shop. They had a number of tortoise species available including three very large Leopard Tortoises. The Assistant was more of a snake specialist but we picked up a few nuggets of useful information and are erring towards a tropical, non-hibernating species rather than tempt the horror of finding a rotting corpse at the end of the Winter sleep.

On our return I settled in front of the TV again until TP returned from work and we all headed over to The Oak at Upton Snodsbury for their Lobster Night. The food was lovely, but I wasn't really up to it and would have rather just collapsed on the sofa.

30% commented that she could tell I wasn't well as I had actually watched three films*** in a single day when, normally, I will only grudgingly offer up the time for one.

I woke on the Bank Holiday Monday feeling little different and was surprised when 30% suggested that we should walk the dogs straight after breakfast. We had a pleasant enough hour wandering around the lanes, but this activity again depleted my reserves and I did little else for the rest of the morning.

Lunch was followed by a kip on the sofa and I woke sometime after two o'clock, deciding that I really should attempt something. I wandered out to the garage and started to slowly sort through the crap that had accumulated during the restoration of the Enfield. Slowly I discovered my tidying mojo and before I knew it I had actually got the vacuum cleaner and had sucked up the dust from the garage floor. I even tackled the blocked dust chute on the table saw.

As the afternoon drew to a close I had a tidy garage rather than the festering shit heap it had been earlier in the day.

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*  I had been tempted to spell out something mildly offensive using plants of different colours or perhaps go with a modern twist on the centrepiece of many a municipal floral garden and install my very own floral cock.**
** This is not a typo.
*** Bicentennial Man … not bad at all, Interstellar … disappointing and Dredd … disappointing with great violence

I am guessing I might need a new project

At present my enthusiasm levels are very low. I am finding this cold or Hay-fever, or whatever the hell it is, draining and have neither the energy nor inclination to do anything. I can't even manage to work for a full day without simply running out of steam.

On Friday I decided to nip in to the nearest Depot to submit a claim for the travel expenses that were incurred last week when I visited a Trade Show in London. The morning went well and I cleared a reasonable amount of work as well as doing a bit of socialising. However, by the middle of the day, I started to feel quite peculiar; almost claustrophobic and absolutely shattered. I had to drive myself home and retire to my bed for an hour before the last call of the day!

I am hoping that the long weekend will bring some recovery and relief.

Saturday was always going to be a quiet day as 30% was going to see a Matinee performance of The King's Speech at Malvern with Jules. The inclusion of lunch and gossip to their itinerary meant that I was unlikely to see much of her until the early evening.

In the morning I took a walk around the Three Miler with the dogs. That pretty much wasted me and I did little else apart from tidying the kitchen and preparing some lunch for TP and me.*

The afternoon involved a large quantity of TV viewing and a lengthy kip on the sofa. As four o'clock passed I summoned enough energy to do something with my day and headed out to the garage. I decided that a tidy up was long overdue and loaded the pile of old Enfield components in to the back of the Land Rover. These were taken to the local Tip and I now have a little more space to move around in.

Finally I turn to the title of today's post, I am not sure whether it is the hay-fever/cold or the lack of a project but I don't really seem to be doing very much at present. I have the house to finish and the garden to start, but I am not doing a very good job of nudging either onward. Also, 30% now seems very interested in having a tortoise joining us here at The Pile.

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* Hardly culinary excellence … sausage sandwiches.

Before & After

On Tuesday, 23rd September 2014 TP ferried me over to Arden Motorcycles in Alcester where I paid £970 for a very rusty Royal Enfield Bullet Electra X. Over the past seven months I have spent far too much money and far too much time taking the damned thing apart, replacing corroded components and converting her in to a Trials replica.

I had never built a motorcycle before and can report that I have picked up a few new skills and even made a couple of friends in the process. If I am honest;  I have found it quite an amazing experience as I have encountered the frustrations of parts that didn't fit and major components that needed replacing and then the gratification of mastering a new skill or locating and importing bargain priced parts from half way around the world.

Te project was, perhaps prematurely, declared complete when the bike was fired up on Tuesday and it will be interesting to see whether it passes the MOT at the end of next week. As I wait I found the time to take a couple of after photographs to allow a comparison with its original corroded state.

"Before"

It didn't look that bad from a distance!

"After"

I can't wait to see how she rides.

I miss it now it's gone

My cold is no better. In fact, I think it was worse today than it was yesterday. The consequence of this was that I really did not feel like applying myself to anything. I did what I had to do, but I really didn't want to.

Work is progressing reasonably well, although there are a couple of less pleasant activities that might land in my lap in the near future. There is not a lot I can do about this … just wait and hope that something of a higher priority turns up to displace them.

I didn't do a full day at work today as I needed to nip across the road to the local surgery for blood tests in the morning. I also finished early this afternoon and headed in to Redditch for an X-ray of my hip.

On my way in to Redditch I stopped off at Redditch Motorcycles and arranged to have the Enfield collected for a service, safety check and MOT. As usual, Chris was busy so it will be the back end of next week before he can come and pick up the bike. I mentioned that the bike might need some setting up and tuning as a new carburettor and exhaust had been fitted. I reassured Chris that the bike was a runner before disassembly but he didn't look convinced by this.

Later on in the day, after having my pelvis blasted with radiation, I was back at home with minimal levels of motivation. 30% had just returned from a physiotherapy session and TP had recently come in from college. I decided to recruit TP's assistance and finally move the Enfield from the Hall back to the garage.

This wasn't as arduous as it sounds. A coffer needed to be moved to the kitchen and there was a bit of to-ing and fro-ing to get the bike lined up with the door but, between us, we soon had her sat in the garage where she belongs. I then grabbed the petrol can and glugged a litre or so of unleaded in to the Enfield's tank. This was primarily to test the fitting of the fuel tap but, on impulse, I decided to attempt to start her …

… I kicked her over a few times to pull fuel through to the carb and to circulate some oil and then gave her a hard kick. Nothing happened. I tried again and, once more, nothing happened. On the third or fourth attempt there was the unmistakable sound of an engine trying to start. A couple of kicks later the engine fired and ran beautifully. I was absolutely amazed. I expected her to need some tinkering and adjustment to get her to fire up, but she ran with no intervention whatsoever.

I was delighted by this inaugural starting of The Shitter reborn, but there is now a large space in the Hall and, as it says in the title line, I do quite miss having her in the house.

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Footnote: TP and 30% are already asking about my next project and the bloody petrol tap does leak!

Feeling old at the moment

As the months pass I have been feeling increasingly creaky. My left hip will no longer permit me to lift my left foot up on to my right knee.* My right knee twinges on a regular basis and my shoulders and upper arms are also giving me some trouble. I also regularly feel very cold.

For some unfathomable reason I have not previously visited the Doctor but today I finally made a list and wandered over to the local surgery … The Doctor didn't really say much. There was muttering about possible arthritis and an enquiry about which was the most painful joint.** I now need to have bloods taken and visit one of the local hospitals for an X-ray of my hip.

There is not much else to report for the day. Both work and puppy training went well but there is still no mention of Whiffler being promoted to the next class. This is somewhat surprising view of a) his abilities and b) the fact that Delilah, the Grand Basset Griffon Vendeen managed to make it in to the next class.***

My cold is no better and, as a consequence, I generally feel tired and lethargic.

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* I now have to bend right down to put on my left sock
** The left hip
*** She certainly has her moments!

Weekend round-up

On Saturday morning I realised that I had picked up a cold at some point during the week. I didn't feel dreadful but it is fair to say that I didn't exactly feel like doing much either. As a consequence my weekend was taken at a very gentle pace.

Saturday morning involved a trip to the supermarket in Alcester with 30% followed by a trip over to Golls at Pitchill on the pretence of checking out their bedding plants.  What we really did was wander around the tropical fish section and took great delight at finding half a dozen little tortoises pottering around a vivarium.*

It was good to see that the proprietor was still there as I remember him stood behind the counter more than forty years ago when I first kept tropical fish. He seemed old then and I was pleased to see him still  pottering around. 30% actually enquired about his age and he smiled and whispered in her ear** before lecturing us that taking to an armchair upon retirement was not a good plan.

We returned home for lunch and then 30% and I took a walk around the Three Miler with the dogs. That exhausted me and I then fell asleep on the sofa for a couple of hours.

In the evening we had arranged to take Kathy H-R out for a belated birthday treat, so we collected her shortly after six and spent a delightful few hours at the Oak at Upton Snodsbury getting through three courses from their menu.

Sunday dawned and the cold was no better so I spent the morning inside attempting to finish off the Enfield. Most of my time was spent applying the vinyl decals to the tank, but tools were also taken back to the garage and an investigation of the speedometer unit revealed a need for a couple of new light bulbs.*** A trip to Halfords was required.

In the afternoon 30% and I headed in to Redditch for the replacement bulbs and also a quick wander around a couple of supermarkets. One of these was Tesco so we also availed ourselves of their car washing service and now have a much cleaner Land Rover.

Upon our return I took a lengthy kip on the sofa and didn't wake until close to six o'clock. I then returned to the Enfield and fitted the bulbs bought earlier in the day. All I need to do now is fit the petrol tap and pipe and get her booked in with Chris at Redditch Motorcycles for her service and MOT.

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* We were both very tempted by a pair of these.
** seventy six
*** The main Speedo light and the neutral indicator light bulbs were blown

Catching Up again

It is Friday and I haven't written a word, let alone a few sentences, for the past five days. It is time to rectify this lax behaviour and jot down the week's comings and goings.

Monday - Exhausted
After a weekend of gardening it was nice to sit and rest my aching muscles in the office.

During the day I actually managed to find a free hour to fit the exhaust to the Enfield. It wasn't overly complicated. The exhaust pipe needed to be shortened by about 40mm so that the silencer would fit within the frame.  and I also needed to use a short mounting bracket to achieve perfect positioning. It looks very neat and all I need now is a set of AF Hex keys to tighten up the exhaust clamp.

Tonight was Puppy Training night and Whiffler performed really well. He is certainly one of the best in the class and I am starting to wonder about whether we might soon get promoted to the next level of ability.

Tuesday - Potential Disaster avoided
Tuesday was my idea of a living hell.

I caught the 7:50 from Evesham to Paddington and by ten thirty I was stood in the foyer of an exhibition hall at Olympia gazing out over an array of Telecommunications Providers' display stands. I spent the next few hours collecting as much free stuff from the displays and can report that the pen pot at home is filled to capacity with promotional writing instruments. I can also report that this year's gimmick is edible treats as nearly every exhibitor was handing out sweets or cakes to the passing hordes.

I have to be honest and say that I found it as dull as the proverbial ditchwater and left early in the afternoon using rumours of rail disruptions and temporary bus services as my excuse …

… and it was a good job I left when I did as the 15:52 out of Paddington abandoned me at Oxford just before five o'clock with no onward trains towards Evesham for two and a half hours. The station staff were pretty clueless but I eventually found myself ushered to a car park where, after a short wait, I was directed to a rather nice Mercedes taxi.

It is fair to say that snoozing in the front of a Mercedes is far more comfortable than a standard class seat on a train, especially when FIrst Great Western are paying the ninety quid fare.

Wednesday - Nothing to see here
Wednesday was just a long, hard day in the home office.

I am in the final stages of one project which means that I have acquired a raft of knowledge and information and just need to get the solution documented and the estimates calculated. A good chunk of Wednesday was spent on this documentation.

I also hosted a kick off call for a new project and was grappling with a multitude of facts and demands. It is fair to say this I haven't really got a clue about scope, solution or deliverables.

This was very much an IT Yin and Yang situation.

Thursday - St George's Day
First task of the day was to drop the Defender off with Mark at MP Trading. It had been booked in for a service and we also wanted him to give it a good look over to verify that we hadn't bought a wrong un. It came as a relief to learn that the only issue they had found was loose bolts on the rear prop shaft. It also became apparent that she hadn't been serviced as frequently as she should, judging by the state of the oil in the axles.

This evening we had been invited to the St George's Day dinner down at the local pub.

Since the completion of our garden wall and front steps we have received a modicum of positive feedback from friends and passersby. We have also heard that we were a topic of discussion at the most recent Parish Council meeting.

As we wandered up to the Pub we were greeted with a veritable onslaught of compliments about our recent building project. Every man, woman and dog wanted to let us know what a good job had been done and it became apparent that even if they don't know us by name we are the couple "with the poodles and the new wall".

The meal was a rather good three courses of soup, roast beef and apple pie and I managed to get myself on the outside of several large glasses of red wine … I slept well that night.

Friday - In to the Office
Yes, I needed a haircut and I had expenses to submit so I arranged a face to face solution review meeting and made an increasingly rare appearance at the nearest depot.

The day went well and I managed to spend a very sweary hour with the Director of the Customer facing service managers. He has an interest in one of my projects and it soon became apparent that much of the work I have just completed had been first done by him a couple of years ago.

He was complimentary about the way I had approached this task and has agreed to help me with the hand-off back in to the Delivery Organisation … Result!

Friday was not, however, the perfect end to the week as I appear to have either caught a cold or be suffering from hay-fever. I woke with a scratchy throat and have coughed and sniffed my way through the day.

I escaped from the Office just before five o'clock and spent the evening in an exhausted state on the sofa … I am so glad that the weekend has finally arrived.

Absolutely Shattered

"We" had planned that 30%'s family should come for dinner this evening to celebrate her birthday, albeit somewhat belatedly. Therefore the plan for today was to get the garden as tidy as possible.

My first activity was to hitch up the trailer to the Defender and check that the towing electrics were working. I was somewhat surprised when I removed the cover from the ball hitch to see unblemished paint. The Land Rover had never towed anything prior to today. The electrics were all fine so I then set about loading the trailer.

I spent the best part of an hour loading up a couple of ramshackle constructions that had been used for rearing chicks a few years ago. These filled most of the trailer but I found room for half a dozen stumps that had been dug out of the garden last weekend. TP was up and dressed by the time I had finished loading so he was press-ganged in to accompanying me to the Tip to assist with unloading.

Upon our return we headed back out in to the garden after a quick cup of coffee. The next job was to relocate the three bulk bags of wood chippings. TP and I could just about drag them so two were relocated to the bare earth between the holly and yew trees. The third bag was emptied under the laurel tree and TP was left with a rake to spread the mulch.

After lunch the lawn was mowed and I then set about cutting the dead wood out from the base of the Yew. While I did this 30% set about pulling up the ivy growing along the bank behind our new garden wall. The result of all this activity was that I now had another pile of material for shredding.

The wood chipper was stirred in to life and the branches and stems were soon converted to small chunks. These were bagged up and TP was given a broom and directed to sweep the yard between the house and the garage. With everything neat and tidy, TP and I loaded the clippings and chippings in to the back of the Defender and headed back over to the Tip.

Forty minutes later we were back at The Pile and I was completely shattered. I summoned reserves of strength, managed to remove the cork from a bottle of Leffe and plonked my backside on the sofa for the best part of an hour.

The beer and the sit-down helped to restore a modicum of energy but none of us were particularly lively this evening as we sat down to a splendid turkey dinner prepared by 30%. It was lovely to see her family, but next time perhaps we need to do rather less in the hours before they arrive.

Now I just need to go to the Tip

30% and I agreed that I would avoid shredding any prunings this morning so that I did not disturb the clientele at the Hairdressers next door.

This wasn't a  huge inconvenience as we had plenty of other activities to keep us busy. My first job was to empty the remainder of the top soil from the one tonne bag that had been delivered on Tuesday. The soil was wheelbarrowed up to one of the beds I cleared last weekend, leaving me with a bulk bag to fill with chippings later on in the day.

30% and I then rounded up the dogs for a trip to the Vets for their annual booster shots. En route we stopped off at a Nursery to look at what bedding plants were available for our new raised bed. The Proprietor suggested that we leave it another month, as there will be a far better choice at the beginning of May … I never did say that I knew anything about gardening.

The visit to the Vets was uneventful although I have to report that the latest recruit at the practice is fresh out of college and not very impressive. She wass very unsure of herself and kept nipping out to consult with a more experienced Vet … hardly reassuring, especially when one is paying for the treatment.

Back at home I had an hour to kill before lunch so I recruited TP's assistance and bled the Enfield's front brake. I haven't bled brakes for thirty years or more and recalled the horrific experiences I had with a Mini I used to own. Its brakes were dreadful and despite repeated bleeding and replacement of slave cylinders I could never get rid of the sponginess. I wasn't looking forward to bleeding the Enfield's brake and my confidence was not increased by numerous tales of woe on the internet …

… However the job went really well once I realised that the one-way valve on the brake bleeding kit was hindering progress. I ended up just using a plastic tube with TP straddling the bike and providing brake lever operation. Twenty minutes later I had fantastic pressure at the brake lever and working brakes at both ends of the bike.

After lunch 30% headed off to the supermarket and I reacquainted myself with the chipper. After a long couple of hours I had filled another bulk bag with shreddings and had swept up the inevitable debris. I was exhausted but the job was done … There were no more prunings to chip, although 30% has already started pointing out other branches that could be trimmed while the machine is here.

I swear I will commit a dreadful deed if I see her with the tree loppers in her hands ever again!

Catching Up

Wednesday, Thursday and Friday have all been very similar. Definitely not similar in a bad way, I have just done much the same thing on each of these days.

On the work front; I finally found my mojo and have applied myself to my current batch of projects. There is nothing particularly significant to report. One has been submitted for re-pricing and on another I have started to assemble the cost case and solution documentation. This documentation is quite a formidable task and I am hoping to succeed where others in the past have not … we shall see!

At the end of each of these three working days I have headed out around the Three Miler with the dogs and then, after refreshment, I have become familiar with the workings of The Chipper. It is a fantastic tool and, by spending thirty or forty minutes each evening in its company, I have managed to shred two thirds of the cuttings we have accumulated. As I type this we have two tonne bulk bags* filled to the brim with chipped prunings. By the end of the weekend I expect to have filled a third with the remaining material.**

At the end of each chipping session I have been very tired and have simply drunk beer, dined and collapsed on the sofa in front of the TV.

There is not a lot else to report apart from a welcome telephone call from Kathy H-R who had some beef for sale following a recent kill. Friday evening included some minor butchery as I diced shin and divided an enormous brisket and pot roast in to more manageable joints for a family of three.

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* These are the heavy duty, woven plastic bags with a loop at each corner that are currently used for delivery of bulk materials such as sand, gravel, top soil and hard core. They have a capacity by weight of one tonne and a capacity by volume of about one meter cubed.
** I then just need to work out what I am going to do with three cubic metres of wood chippings.

Misdirected motivation

If I am honest I had real problems applying my nose to the grindstone today.

The day actually started very early when a ton of top soil was delivered at a few minutes after seven o'clock. The bulk bag was neatly deposited by the new raised bed and I really wanted to grab a spade and start filling the bed rather than head towards the study.

A week's holiday and the initiation of a number of projects in the garden meant that I was not in the mood for work and would have much preferred to be focussing on the garden. This was not helped by the fact that 30% arranged for the delivery of a wood chipper at lunch time and I really wanted to have a play with that.

Reluctantly I opened my e-mail application and watched as my in-box updated. There was only one hundred and thirty unread emails and I soon deleted the junk and irrelevant, leaving me with a handful that needed my attention. None of these were urgent and consequently did nothing to engender any degree of motivation.

I therefore spent the day flitting between my laptop and the Enfield. The postman had brought a new set of exhaust studs and it was apparent that these would allow me to fit the Trials Exhaust. I just needed to remove the stubborn stud. I reapplied heat and WD40 and even tried some judicious tapping with a hammer and punch in an attempt to release the stud from the corroded embrace of the cylinder head. Eventually I committed, attached two nuts on to the stud, tightened them against each other and then carefully attempted to unscrew the stud. I nervously gave the spanner a couple of taps with a hammer and then applied some pressure …

… All the time I was doing this the repercussions of a snapped exhaust stud were front and centre in my thoughts …

… Suddenly there appeared to be slight movement. Had I freed it or had the fucker given way? I applied pressure to the spanner again and it moved a little more. There was no sudden lack of resistance that occurs when a stud snaps and I pushed on the spanner once more. It moved again and I could see that it was actually rotating out of the cylinder head. After a few more turns I had the stud in my hand. I was incredibly relieved to have won this minor battle with the Shitter.

I was then able to trial fit the exhaust pipe and realise that I would need to order a simple bracket to mount the silencer to the bike. A few minutes on eBay had one winging its way to me.

After the success with the bike I grudgingly returned to my laptop and did as little as possible* until I felt that I could abandon it without being seen to be skiving.

I then took a walk around the Three Miler with the dogs and returned to see that TP had filled the bed with the top soil. I therefore wandered over to the wood chipper, donned ear defenders and spent the forty minutes prior to dinner making a start on chipping the huge pile of woody debris that has resulted form our recent gardening activities.

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* A forty minute conversation with my frolleague Lou helped significantly with this clock watching activity.

Back to work tomorrow

Monday was considerably less frenetic than the preceding weekend. This was probably a good thing as I had a multitude of aches and twinges after two days of lopping, digging and hauling.

In the morning I got on the 'phone and ordered a tonne of top soil to fill the new raised bed. Then 30% and I headed in to Redditch to make enquiries about the hire of a wood chipper and also to take a wander around the aisles of Tesco. We were back home by lunchtime and then headed around the Three Miler with the dogs.

After the walk I felt that I should continue with the garden so grabbed a spade and the wheelbarrow and headed down to the far end under the other Yew tree …  A few years ago, when we had the patio block paved, nearly a ton of sharp sand had been left on site.  I had bagged it up and abandoned it under the aforementioned Yew … today I spent a rather painful half hour emptying the bags in to the barrow, trundling it a few yards to the fence and then shovelling the sand in to the void between the new wall and the earth bank. It was a quick win as an eyesore has been removed and reused as backfill.

As the afternoon drew to a close I checked my e-mail and Hitchcocks had replied to my enquiry. The had sent out replacement components that should enable fitment of the Trials Exhaust. A consequence of this was that I now needed to remove the standard exhaust studs. The first of these was straightforward as I had only installed it a few weeks ago, however the second had been in place since the bike was built. I tried removing it by using two nuts but it did not want to budge.

Being paranoid about snapping the stud I applied a few squirts of penetrating oil and heated the stud with a butane torch but it still resisted. I squirted more WD40 at it and decided to leave it overnight while I went away to research Loctite freeze and release spray.

As our Easter holiday draws to a close it is fair to say that there have been some very visible changes here at The Pile and it looks like we are going to have a very busy Summer tidying up the garden. A shed had been mentioned as a possible new addition to the garden. 30% also managed to get the flights booked for our next holiday so our post holiday blues have been somewhat dissipated by the fact that we know we will be heading to San Francisco on 20th August.

Weekend round-up

The past couple of days have been spent in a full scale assault on the garden here at The Pile.

On Saturday I extracted the lawn mower from the garage and completed the first cut of the season. With the lawn looking somewhat more controlled, the tree loppers and chainsaw were broken out and the two piles of prunings at the back of the house were considerably enlarged. A thin but tall Hawthorn was removed from the bed near the Holly tree and, after some severe pruning by 30%, I cut out the bulk of a leggy Elder that was pushing its way up through the aforementioned Ilex.

I then swapped the chainsaw for the loppers and hit the Laurel hedge that sits on the bank above our newly laid wall. This was long overdue for a pruning and I must have taken three to five feet out of the top and sides of it. We are hoping that the pruning will encourage it to thicken up at the base where it is rather thin.

As I chopped and hacked 30% and TP assisted by hauling away the trimmings to the now massive piles  of debris at the back of the house. 30% eventually saw the wood for the trees and decreed that a wood chipper needed to be hired as we had way too much to burn.

I also took the chainsaw out and performed some gentle tidying around the base of the Yew where it had got somewhat battered during the recent construction work. Some of the lower branches have been scraped and scarred and but I am hopeful that they will recover over the growing season. I also had a go at the huge Christmas Tree in the corner of the garden, removing the dead boughs and thinning those that overhang the lawn … when we re-stock with chickens we will be able to reach the run without getting soaked by it.

Feeling somewhat jaded I decided to take a run to the Tip. This allowed me to sit down for forty minutes and I also managed to dispose of three broken garden chairs and the lawn clippings.

As the afternoon waned 30% headed off to the supermarket and I settled to a task that had been niggling me occasionally over the past week … Just before we headed off to The Gower I attempted a trial fit of the exhaust pipe on The Enfield. It was not right as the pipe projected too far beyond the flange and consequently the nuts could not be put on to the exhaust studs …  I spent the spare time drafting a mail to Hitchcocks attempting to describe the problem and asking for guidance.

I am hoping for a quick resolution to this problem as I only need to bleed the front brake, fit the tank and attach the exhaust before the bike is theoretically ready for its MOT.

I then put thoughts of The Enfield aside, showered and changed in preparation for an evening spent at the Village Hall helping Kathy H-R celebrate her seventieth birthday. We felt quite honoured to be invited and had a lovely informal evening drinking and chatting with our friends from the village … at one point I volunteered to pull the neck on VI's evil bastard of a Light Sussex cock as he is getting far too aggressive for VI to manage.

I was thankful that it wasn't a late night after our busy day and I was in bed the right side of midnight.

I made an early start on Sunday and was out in the garden just before nine o'clock. A spade and axe were the tools of choice and the morning was spent removing the stumps of several shrubs along with the Elder I cut out yesterday.

The plan is to clear the beds along the left hand side of the lawn, level them  and lay turf. We are hoping that this will give us a more spacious and light garden that can be easily tidied with the lawn mower.

30%'s Mum and Dad joined us for lunch and a viewing of our recent projects. We had a pleasant time chatting and it was nice to sit for a while after the strenuous activities of the morning.

In the afternoon the chainsaw made another appearance and the peculiar dwarf conifer at the base of the  holly was cut out. I was then able to prune the holly and this has made a remarkable difference to the garden. It already seems so much more open and light now the beds to the left of the lawn have been cleared.

If I am honest I was exhausted by this hard work and my shoulders and back were starting to twinge as the afternoon progressed. My last exertion was to help TP who had done a sterling task of removing hardcore from the base of the new raised bed at the front of the house.

From that point forward I pottered, completing a few final tasks before collapsing on the sofa. I was absolutely knackered and almost too tired for the glass of red wine 30% proffered.

Home again

There is not a huge amount to report for Friday. The morning was spent packing up the car and giving our holiday home a quick clean. By eleven o'clock TP and JN were making their way up the cliff path* and were we taking one last walk along the beach before saying goodbye to our host Bob.

Our return journey was via the M4 rather than the Heads of the Valleys road and after one hundred and thirty miles we pulled up outside The Pile to find Hayden tidying up. He had just about finished and the new steps look fantastic. His stone work for the raised bed is less impressive but I am sure it will look fine once it has been planted up and I have grown accustomed to its somewhat crude courses.

Needless to say the rest of the day was taken up with unpacking the car and settling back in to the domestic routine. Eddie seemed pleased to see us after being left in charge for the past seven days.**

In the afternoon we made a token start on the garden by creating a huge pile of branches that need to be either burnt or chipped. These were a combination of 30%'s recent pruning activities and those that had been blocking the drive after being left there by Hayden.  We can now get a car on to the drive but the washing line is now virtually inaccessible by a head high pile of prunings that must be ten or more feet in length. ***

This Summer's project is to tidy up the garden and it is a task of Herculean proportions. It is also likely to be fraught with creative differences as 30% and I have quite different approaches to the garden. She thinks that I just want to cover everything with concrete whilst I think she tends to arrange deck chairs on the Titanic.

Hopefully I can get her to see that you need a clear design and structure before you start to plant.

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* With three dogs and all of our luggage there was no room for the boys but, at least, they didn't have to lug their bags the mile back up to the Post Office where TP's Fiat was parked.
** He was checked on daily by frolleague Deb who lives just round the corner.
*** a second, similarly sized, pile is now sitting on the paved area between house and garage.

Our last full day

It is fair to say that 30% has a bit of a thing about Rhossilli Bay …

… now I am very fond of it and more than happy to walk out along it's splendid sandy arch or take in the splendour of the views from up on the headland, but I don't have a "thing" about it. I really like it there and appreciate it's beauty but I do not have any overly significant emotional attachment to it …

… getting back to 30%'s thing, it came as no surprise that she wanted to spend the last day of her holiday with another visit to Rhossilli beach. The plan was that we would spend the morning at Pwll Du, take lunch at the cottage and then head over to Rhossilli.

And that is pretty much how things panned out. In the morning TP and JN headed up the valley for a walk and 30% and I spent time pottering at the cottage and taking a short walk along Pwll Du beach with the dogs. Lunch was eaten al fresco and then we loaded up the Defender and headed across the Gower.

The weather today was, again, fantastic and Rhossilli didn't disappoint. After the hike down from the headland we wandered perhaps two hundred yards across the beach and then had it virtually to ourselves. The dogs were let loose and we wandered a mile or so along the sands. TP and JN had brought a tennis ball and baseball bat and the the dogs were exercised, acting as canine fielders for the boys. A good strike would have Whiffler charging across the beach for a hundred yards or more to retrieve the ball.  As the afternoon came to an end we headed back up the steep path and dropped in at the Worms Head Hotel to rest our legs and take refreshment.  After an hour sat in the sun we headed back to Bishopston and stopped off at The Joiners for a fabulous fish and chip supper before heading down the lane back to Ship Cottage.

We really couldn't have asked for a better "last day". We had great weather, beautiful views, exercise and rest and fantastic food.

A good walk spoiled

Wednesday 8 April 2015

30% decided that we should walk up through the valley this morning and eat lunch at The Joiners.*

I had tried to dissuade her from this walk earlier in the week as I suspected that the path would be absolutely filthy. Unfortunately my wise words were ignored and, instead, she preferred to take council from a stranger with a grubby dog who claimed the path was fine. 

Within half a mile we were encountering areas where walkers and livestock had turned the path in to ankle deep mud. I was not impressed ... Having spent the Winter walking filthy lanes the last thing I wanted to do on my holiday was walk thorough more crap. 

Also the nature of the path was not great for 30%. It was narrow, rocky and twisted and turned through tree roots, ruts and quagmires. At present 30% is not too steady on her feet and this was far from an ideal walk for her. 

For every hundred yards I walked 30% would cover about seventy five and I was having to stop every few minutes to allow her to catch up. It was a bloody nightmare as I could never maintain any rhythm to my walking with this stop start arrangement. 

I should also point out that no maps were consulted prior to our departure so we were reliant on the sign posts to ensure we were headed in the right direction. 

After about an hour the path was barely visible as it followed a steep boulder street dry stream bed ... Hardly ideal terrain for 30%. We eventually cleared this obstacle and came to a fork in the path. One branch was signposted Bishopston but seemed to lead away from where we needed to go. Another sign pointed up a steep flight of stone steps but gave no named destination. 

I left 30% to catch her breath and climbed the steps to see if I could see any signs of civilisation. After a couple of hundred yards I could hear voices and see power lines. I retraced some of my steps and shouted a report to her lady ship. She came up the steps to join me and we soon found ourselves at the top of the valley. 

We crossed a couple of paddocks, passed a farm yard and an extreme dollop of good luck had us 50 yards from The Joiners' front door. 

It may have turned out alright but, just as easily, we could have been dealing with a broken ankle in an impenetrable valley. 30% has to get a more realistic view of her current walking capabilities. 

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* TP and JN planned to drive down to the Mumbles for a couple of hours and would meet us up at the pub. 

A surreal walk at Oxwich Bay

Tuesday 7 April 2015

This morning dawned bright and sunny and we all sat out in the sun to eat breakfast al fresco. 

TP and JN decided to take a drive in to Swansea to explore, leaving 30% and me to our own devices. We decided upon a short walk along the beach, so gathered up leads, poo bags and a tennis ball. 

By the time we had got our collective arses in to gear, a fog had rolled in and very little could be seen of the beach, cliffs or bay. We spent thirty or forty minutes throwing a ball for the dogs before wandering back to the cottage. 

We pottered for the remainder of the morning and lunched at the cottage too. In the afternoon we headed out to Oxwich Bay for a walk with the dogs. As we drove along the headlands we emerged again in to bright sunshine but dropped back in to the fog as we pulled in to the car park. 

Surprisingly there were quite a few families sat out on the sand in a fog so thick that visibility was limited to twenty yards. It seemed a bizarre thing to be sitting out on a beach with views restricted to a surrounding grey curtain a few yards out. 

We wandered away from the populated portion of the beach, out along the line of the dunes. Within a few minutes we were totally isolated, walking on firm damp sand in a bubble maybe fifty yards across. We could see nothing; not the sea, nor the dunes or the sun. It was just us and the dogs in this monotone bubble ... It was very surreal. 

We walked as far as the small river that runs out across the bay before turning back. As we reached the car park the fog started to clear and we were rewarded with a view of the western end of the bay as we sat with a coffee in front of the snack bar. 

We arrived back at Ship Cottage a few minutes after TP and JN and learned that their visit included the Swansea Museum and castle as well leching at the local young ladies!

Their evening was taken up with beer and toasted marsh mallows by a fire on the beach. We just collapsed by the fire in front of the TV. 

A close shave

Monday 6 April 2015

The plan for today was that TP and JN would wander along the cliff path to Brandy Cove for a swim. 

Late in the morning they headed off with wetsuits and towels. We arranged to walk up to meet them later on and then head up in to Bishopston for lunch at The Joiners. 

As noon approached we rounded up the dogs, locked up and headed out in to the bright sunshine. There were many walkers out enjoying this fine Easter Monday and the dogs had to stay on their leads for most of the time. 

As we wandered along the cliff path 30% stumbled, lost her footing and fell from the path. With my hands occupied by the  dog leads I was unable to catch her and could only watch as she rolled down the steep hill toward the sea. Fortunately she caught in a gorse bush after a couple of feet and was able to get back up to the path with only a few bruises and a loss of dignity. 

The worrying thig was that if this had happened a few yards further on there would have been no gorse bushes to slow her fall and she would have fallen fifty or a hundred feet to the rocks below. It was a close shave and she was lucky not to have been seriously injured or worse!

I think I need to find a way to broach the subject of increasing her fitness, dropping a few pounds and to get a better grasp of her walking abilities. 

A few hundred yards later we reached the cove and there was no sight of TP. We eventually made contact and found that they had gone on ahead to the pub. We walked up to join them and enjoyed beer and gourmet burgers in a very sunny beer garden/car park. 

With our hunger and thirst sated we headed back down the cliff path to Pwll Du, pausing en route to pick up ice creams for pudding. 

The rest of the afternoon was spent lazing at the cottage where I apparently snoozed for a couple of hours. 

A birthday and a bit of an adventure

Today was 30%'s birthday and, after a very leisurely start, it was decided that she would like to celebrate by taking a walk along Rhosilli beach.*

The weather on the beach was superb and despite it being Easter Sunday there was only a few dozen people on the sands.** We had acres of space to walk and throw a ball for the dogs. 

We probably strolled a mile or so before turning and heading back to the path up the cliff. Up at the top we found a seat on the hotel's patio and lunched looking out over Worm's Head. 

The afternoon was spent back at Pwll Du taking it easy. I may well have spent an hour examining the inside of my eyelids. 

During the afternoon we attempted to ascertain TP's whereabouts. The plan was that he would drive down this afternoon in the company of JN and join us for dinner. 

The reality was somewhat different. They left home at four in the afternoon and it took them four and a half hours to travel the one hundred and twenty miles to Swansea!

They were tight lipped when questioned about navigational errors but as the evening drew on it became apparent that they had had a few adventures.***

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* it was also decided that her gift would be to spend Easter week 2016 at Ship Cottage ... I had better get that booked before someone else does. 

** walking with three Standard Poodles has made us something of a carnival attraction and we could not go far without being accosted for a chat, compliments, a stroke of the dogs and even the occasional photo

*** A detour via Cardiff City centre, a wrong turn on the M5/M50 roundabout and a viewing of a bridge that looked like a lifting bridge, but wasn't, all slipped out as they chatted ... Christ knows where they really went!

Coffee at Caswell Bay

Saturday 4 April 2015

It was something of a rude awakening when 30% roused me in the early hours of the morning. She was concerned that one of the dogs needed a pee and it was muggins here that needed to shrug on a shirt and jeans and escort them down to the beach to "perform".

I was soon back in bed snuggled under the duvet, but wide awake. It must have been the best part of an hour before I dropped off but I then slept through until nine o'clock ... a serious lie-in for me. 

After a leisurely breakfast we decided to walk the cliff path along to Caswell Bay, stop for a coffee at the cafe there and then return to Pwll Du. 

The weather was glorious and we were soon regretting bringing coats and sweat shirts as the sun shone down upon us. The cliffs and hills were ablaze with the yellow of gorse in full flower and it was so nice to see colours after the drab tones of Winter and early Spring. 

We walked at a leisurely pace and had soon completed the mile and a quarter to  Caswell. As planned, coffee was drunk at the cafe before we headed back to Ship Cottage. 

We then had a decidedly lazy afternoon. A kip was taken on the sofa and a short walk to the bay was taken but we were soon pouring glasses of wine, lighting the log burner and tucking in to sausage and mash. 

It would have been perfect if I hadn't had to endure the final episode of The Voice ...

... and 30% thinks I watch shite TV!

A week away

Friday 3rd April

The plan for today was to spend the morning getting our shit together, have lunch and then head off down to the Gower. 

And that is basically how the day panned out. We took a leisurely, almost casual, approach to packing that comes from familiarity of what is needed for a week at Pwll Du. There is no need for suit cases or soft luggage as the car can be parked a few feet from the door to Ship Cottage and shopping bags are far better suited to this task. 

During the morning we were visited by Jules and later by BMS and SMS who all came to wish 30% Birthday greetings and to hand over gifts and cards. 

Hayden also arrived and we talked through the final jobs that need to be completed as he he should be finished by the time we return home from our week away. 

A late lunch was eaten and it was no more than twenty minutes work to load up the Defender. TP was given last minute instructions* and the dogs were put in to the car. 

It was half past two and we were finally setting off. The Defender was superb on the motorway and it's sixth gear makes cruising at seventy enjoyable rather than the deafening experience of the Td5. 

Within an hour or so we had crossed the border in to Wales and were making great progress. As we passed a sign post for Abergavenny I has a nagging suspicion that I should have turned off.  I asked 30% to turn on the Sat Nav and it was at this point we learnt that it's battery was flat and that the Defender's 12 volt outlet wasn't working. 

The net result of this minor hiccough was that we travelled to Swansea down the M4 rather than our more usual route down The Heads of the Valleys road. 

We arrived at Pwll Du shortly before five o'clock and negotiated the rock track down the side of hill to the bay. I had forgotten how steep it is in places but we were soon at the bottom and fording the river before parking up outside the cottage. 

It was so nice to be back here and our familiarity with the accommodation meant that we were settled in within minutes. The log burner was lit, beer was poured and steaks were soon sizzling in the pan. 

It really doesn't get much better than this. 

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* He is working over the weekend and wildly travel down to join us on Sunday. 

I'm not doing anything else today

It is far to say that the past three days have been somewhat jam packed, as I attempted to complete domestic necessities and tie up loose ends at work before leaving for a week at Pwll Du.

I haven't had the energy to write a journal entry since Monday so here I go with a quick summary of Tuesday through Thursday* ...

… Tuesday morning started with a trip in to Redditch to drop Whiffler off at the Dog Groomers. I returned home and spent the rest of the day head down at work. There is nothing else to report apart from the fact that I managed to put the second coat of paint on the Enfield's seat bracket.

Moving on to Wednesday; I tidied myself up and headed in to the nearest Depot. I had expenses to submit and I also needed to scan and email a form to my manager, These activities are far easier to perform using the MFPs at work so I spent the day head down in the Office. All in all it was quite a productive day and I even managed to knock up a cost and pricing analysis for one of my projects … it may be of use if the shit hits the fan while I am away.

Back at home I managed to find the energy to complete an evening walk around the Three Miler with 30% and the dogs and I also managed to fit the seat to the Enfield.

Hayden also turned up and we now have the first three steps constructed that will ultimately lead to the front door.

And so to Thursday … I spent the day ensuring that all of my projects were progressed as far as possible and that my team mates knew what to be working on whilst I was away. In the minutes I had spare; milk was purchased from the village shop,  tea was made for Hayden, 30%'s prescription was collected from the Surgery and the dogs eventually got fed around five o'clock in the evening.

A set of rubber mats arrived to protect the Defender's carpets and these were installed a few moments after I reached the point of exclaiming "fuck it, I'm done".

I have had a busy couple of months and I am definitely ready for a break.

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* There ain't gonna be a lot of detail as I have already sunk a beer and Tesco** curry
** Filling and always disappointing