Putting on the brakes

This morning was taken up with a trip in to Alcester and included a wander around the supermarket, the discovery of a rather nice Gentlemen's outfitter, and the purchase of a number of stuffed toys to entertain Whiffler. We also checked out a rather fine, but grubby, antique bed frame at one of the Antique shops as we have a loose plan to turn the Purple Bedroom in to, well, a bedroom. The frame was lovely but there was some damage to one of the legs and it was impossible to see the extent or whether repair was feasible …no sale.

In the afternoon I finally settled down with the Enfield and did my best to avoid fitting the loom. I planned to install the front brake lever and brake master cylinder but soon discovered a problem. The master cylinder needed to be drained … One of the cover's screws was removed without a problem, but the second was an absolute pig and appeared to have been manufactured from the cheapest steel on the planet. The head was soon knackered so it was time to get Medieval on it.

I cut a new slot in the screw head with a mini grinding disk but it still failed to budge. At this point I checked out a replacement part and learned that the failure of a twenty pence component had the potential to cost me more than one hundred and thirty quid for a replacement master cylinder. I finally overcame this obstacle by carefully drilling out the head of the screw with my pillar drill.* It finally came free and I was rewarded with a dousing in very manky brake fluid.

After cleaning everything up I could progress no further as a replacement screw would need to be purchased along with a new diaphragm, so the front brake reassembly was put on hold. I then settled to the rear brake assembly.

I had trial fitted a number of the major components of this sub-assembly so was reasonably confident that it would go back together. However, as soon as I attempted to screw in the grease nipples I realised that something wasn't right. After a thorough inspection it was apparent that I had either been sent the wrong part or that the machining of the part had not been completed. Either way this activity was going no further and a trip to Hitchcocks needed to be planned for next week. Arse!

This left me with no option but to wrestle with the grubby spaghetti of the Enfield's loom. I decided to break myself in gently by separating and installing the coil as a first task. Then I suddenly found my auto electrical mojo and it all started coming together. My library of photographs taken during the disassembly was an absolute boon and I soon had the main loom elements loosely attached to the frame.

By the time I finished for the day I had got most of the loom laid out in it's original position and a good few of it's connectors had been reconnected to their partners. There is still much to be done and I am sure that several sessions with a multi meter will follow in the next few days or weeks.

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*The shaft of the machine screw was removed with the aid of mole grips

Here endeth the working week

Friday's big news was that Whiffler was dispatched to the Grooming Salon and returned looking a much leaner beast. 30% may prefer him fluffy but he now looks, most definitely, like a poodle and she is not going to have explain that he is neither a Labradoodle nor a Golden Doodle to people she encounters.

On the home front I finally managed to get hold of a set of pdf files for our building work after a number of glitches which can mostly be put down to the fact that iOS and Microsoft Outlook just don't work properly together. Christ knows why attachments are either stripped out or converted to an unreadable format, but I eventually found out how to get hold of them and sent them over to our prospective Builder. Hopefully a quote will follow in the next few days.

On the work front my day was quiet but today was 30%'s first day back at work since 9th December and it is fair to say that she was shattered by the experience.* She is on a phased return to work** so is only working a few hours a day for the first week but the social contact after weeks at home really took it out of her.

We had planned to go out for a bite to eat at the Oak but when she was wandering around in her pyjamas at five o'clock I realised that we were going to be eating in. A fire was lit and I offered to head up to the Chinese Takeaway but then promptly fell asleep on the sofa and woke to a pasta bake.

Here endeth the working week.

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*  Lord knows how the poor sods in the office dealt with it after two months of peace and quiet. I did try to warn them!
** I'm still unsure whether this is for her welfare or to allow her colleagues to slowly get used to having her back in the office creating Merry Hell.

Phew!

I was up even earlier today as I needed to be in the Office bright and early.

It was going to be a long day as my Boss was up from darn sarf and a curry was planned for this evening. The morning was spent in a meeting with a colleague and a fun couple of hours were spent reviewing a set of process diagrams and outlining the necessary tweaks so they stood a chance of working if ever implemented.

We were finished by lunchtime and my afternoon now had a purpose as all of the diagrams would need to be redrawn. At this point I should mention that my Boss's visit to these faraway lands was multipurpose. He had a series of meetings and telepresence calls to attend, the aforementioned curry and my end of year appraisal meeting. It was this latter appointment that was foremost in my mind. There was no appointment in my diary just a casual statement from the boss that we should link up at some point in the afternoon for my end of year.

It was fair to say that I was feeling quite apprehensive about this meeting. From my perspective the first half of the year had gone reasonably well but the second half had not been great at all. I had worked a monstrous RFP that was a complete and utter clusterfuck* and this was followed by three months where my activities are best described by the term scratching around for something to do. I quite like working, or perhaps more accurately, I quite like being employed as I have a family, three large dogs, a mortgage and collection of motorcycles and a regular income ensures that this list doesn't get any shorter. I therefore need to do well in at work so that I can afford to live.**

The afternoon waned and my Boss was conspicuous by his absence. Eventually he appeared at half past five and asked if I had time now for a chat. We wandered in to a nearby vacant office, sat down and he beamed at me … it was fair to say that the appraisal was effusive and very complimentary. I was awarded an exceed rating and told that the future looked rosy***. It is fair to say that I was incredibly relieved after what I had viewed as an average year at best.

It was then time for an early dinner so we wandered out, linked up with a few colleagues and spent a pleasant couple of hours in a nearby curry house.

As days go, this one went far better than expected.

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* not one of my making ... the entire project was badly managed and approached by both The Neat & Tidy Piano Movers and the prospective client. Actually I was brilliant.
** I definitely fall in to the work to live section of the population. The other sections appear to be live to work (the sad and dull) or claim benefits to live (the work shy)
*** Pay rises and bonuses were mentioned … perhaps I am a shit for mentioning it, but it is still amazing after the appalling treatment I received at Dante's Nine Circles of Hell from remuneration perspective. They were, and still are, oppressive bastards that instil fear in to their employees in order to make them grateful they still have a job and willing to accept erosion of an immobile salary by inflation.

Work and play

I was up this morning quite a bit earlier than I have had to for a while.

The reason for this was that 30% had booked the dogs in at the Groomers and today Tyson and Marauder* needed to be dropped off at 8.30 sharp … I duly arrived at the allotted hour and handed over the leads to the Groomer. She took one look at them followed by a quick feel of their coats and advised that there was no way that they could be bathed and brushed.** Their coats were too matted after a couple of months of muddy lanes and frequent washes without subsequent brushing. They were going to need to be clipped very short.

I agreed to this course of action and left them with her. The only problem is that Whiffler's coat is even longer and 30% absolutely adores him in his current fluffy state. She was mortified when she learnt that he is likely to come home on Friday a lot less hairy.

My working day was spent developing an information pack for one of my projects. I will need to engage a team to provide a solution element and hopefully this pack along with a set of process diagrams will tell them enough to deliver the goods. Knocking up this pack and an assortment of calls filled the day and five o'clock soon arrived. I stood up from my desk and wandered out to survey the Enfield.

With the front end reattached I was able to re-insert the ammeter and speedometer in the casquette. Once that was completed I headed out to the garage and retrieved the clutch lever, left hand switch assembly and decompressor cable. The next hour was spent attaching these to the bars and connecting up the two cables.

At this rate the loom and rear brake will get installed over the weekend.

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* Whiffler will be done on Friday as they are unable to groom all three on the same day … it just takes too long.
** as arranged and requested by 30%

It should steer now

At the end of today I can report that much reassembly took place and the Enfield now looks pretty similar to how it did on 25th January.  TP provided the necessary assistance to lift the bike from it's supporting blocks and the steering now turns beautifully with none of the notchy feeling that was apparent the last time I reached this point.

It will need to be lifted back up on to the blocks for another few days, as it will be far easier to continue the reassembly with the bike in an upright position than canted over, as it is when supported by the side stand. The next activities are likely to be assembling the rear brake mechanism and reinstalling the loom but those are the first of a very long list of things that are yet to be completed.

I am guessing that there will be pressure to relocate it back to the garage now it is able to stand on it's own and that the weather will soon be improving.

Who fiddled with the thermostat?

I seem to have started the week with a surge of productivity. After initial reluctance to get going this morning, I settled with a plain sheet of paper and started to draft out a process diagram based on some notes I took a couple of weeks ago. By the time the working day had ended I had drafted another three processes to complete the set and had minuted a call for my Boss.

During the day it became apparent that we have some form of unknown presence that delights in turning the thermostat down. 30% claims she has nothing to do with this but, I put it to you m'Lud, would you trust the word of a woman, of a certain age when sudden hot flushes are common place?

As a result of this action I was bloody freezing today and, after resetting the thermostat to a more civilised 20 degrees C, I also lit a fire in the study and shut the door. I am guessing that I will need to set up camera traps to identify the mysterious being that is turning the bloody heating down. I am currently offering the following odds on what these traps will capture:-

500/1        A stranded Andorian*
1000/1      TP **
800/1        Tyson, Marauder or Whiffler ***
75/1            a Poltergeist
50/1           a crazed, nut job environmentalist that thinks
                    20 degrees C is killing the planet
1/2             30%

On a slightly saner plane, the postman delivered my water pump grease this morning, so I was able to spend a happy hour packing the Enfield's headstock bearings with grease and reassembling the bike's triple tree.

Further re-assembly was not possible as it was puppy training this evening so 30% and I took Whiffler to arse about with his mates! There are moments of obedience but they are very brief. He just wants to play with all of his classmates … talk about the very definition of frustration.

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* one for the Trekkies
** Quote: " do I know where the what-a-stat is?"
*** They like it toasty

This year's big project

The main event of the morning was a visit from a builder to discuss our plans for a retaining wall and remodelled steps up to the front door. He arrived on time, didn't seem phased by our requirements, seemed to ask the right questions and left with a request for an electronic copy of the plans and a semi-commitment to get something over to us towards the end of the week.

Our first impression was that he was very young but had a maturity beyond his years. I became aware of him when he did some similar work at a house down in the village so we already know that he is reliable and capable. I guess we just need to see what his quote looks like.

I used what was left of the morning to get a few coats of paint on the gaiter clips that I de-rusted and primed yesterday. Lunch followed and then I headed out around the Three Miler with the dogs.

Upon my return I settled with the Enfield's left fork leg in my lap and a Dremel in my right hand …

… When I bought these nearly new forks I was advised that there was an issue with the brake caliper mount and that some tweaking might be necessary. The recent assembly of the bike's front end showed that the inner face of the caliper did indeed sit too close to the brake disk and as a result the mounting lugs on the fork leg need to be ground back a couple of millimetres. 

I was fortunate that I was able to use my other Enfield as reference material and spent a good few minutes examining it's brake set up before I attacked the caliper mounting lugs with a mini grinding wheel. The job seemed to go well and the Dremel was perfect for grinding, sanding and polishing the aluminium fork slider. I may have another go at the mounts before final assembly to give a little more disk/caliper clearance but I was quite pleased with the way this job went.

That wraps up the main events off the day. A fire was lit, dinner was eaten and we settled in front of the TV for the evening.

Not much happened

Saturday was a fairly quiet day.

Most of the morning was taken up with a trip over to Stratford. 30% hit the supermarket and I headed off across the retail park to pick up a couple of cans of paint. By the time we had finished and were back at home it was time for lunch.

In the early afternoon it was time for some painting …

… Most of the heavily corroded Enfield components had been replaced but there are two spring clips* on the forks for which I cannot find a suitable replacement. I previously ordered replacement parts but they look nothing like the originals and just don't fit. Consequently early this morning I sanded them to bare metal, degreased them and applied a coat of rust treatment.

By early afternoon the rust treatment had dried and a few coats of rattle can primer was applied to these slim bands of metal. Previously I have hand painted de-rusted components but these would have been impossible to hold and paint so have been suspended on cotton thread and sprayed in a makeshift spray booth. The primer looks acceptable and all being well the colour coat will be applied tomorrow.

I then persuaded 30% to accompany me on a walk and we headed out for a shortened version of the Three Miler. On our return to the house a fire was lit and I did very little else for the rest of the day.

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* They clamp the gaiters to the fork sliders

For once ...

… the cosmic tumblers all click in to place.

Our garden wall is in a horrendous state. It dates back a hundred years, if not more, and acts as a retaining wall for our garden, which is four feet above the level of the road.

When we bought The Pile we were aware that it was in a dreadful state. It leant over at quite an angle and in places it had collapsed. The inside of the house had been similarly neglected and that is where we have been concentrating our efforts since we bought the place back in 2004. Recently, however, we have been making steps to replace the wall and have had plans drawn up and completed the necessary consultations with the local planning department and the Council Tree Officer.

A couple of days ago the Tree Officer dropped us a line to let us know that she is happy with our proposals and we are good to go. So this morning I finally got around to ringing a brick layer … I left him a message, asking him if he would like to contact us about providing a quote.

I then wandered in to the kitchen and looked out to see a Highways Department lorry and a number of workers in Hi-Vis jackets loitering outside The Pile. This piqued my curiosity so I headed out to ask what they were up to. A very pleasant workman advised that they were going to cut back all of the ivy that over runs our tumble-down wall and cut back the verges so that the footpath is restored to it's original width. I made sure he was aware the the Yew Trees had preservation orders, which he did, and then I went back inside leaving them to it.

About an hour later they departed with a huge quantity of soil and vegetation and I wandered out to survey the results. I couldn't believe it. The local authority had come out and performed the preliminary site clearance for our wall project without being asked and at no charge … Result!

The icing on the cake was when the Brickie rang later in the evening and we arranged for him to come out and have a look at the job on Sunday morning. He will now be able to see exactly what needs to be done and we are certain that £500 pounds of work has already been done by the Council.

If I was a horse they would have shot me years ago.

After 2014's multiple trips to Birmingham to have a dental implant, I am now in the safe hands of my NHS Dentist for the routine dental care that involves check-ups, scale and polish, fillings etc.

Today I was back in her chair for the second time in the space of a week. At my last check up she noticed a cavity and today I had it filled. Normally that would be it, I would now be free to munch on whatever I liked and just pop back in six months time for another inspection, however that is not the future for this particular tooth. The filling is only a temporary solution and the Dentist wants to see me again in three months time. IF the filling has been effective at removing the decay then the Dentist plans to remove the filling and replace it with a crown.

At this rate, with so much porcelain in my mouth, I'll be seeing Henry Sandon in future instead of Mrs Pilay!

Apparently water pump grease is best.

I made an early start on Wednesday so that I could take a short break at nine to drop my bearing races and cups off at Redditch Motorcycles.  The professional opinion was that the machining made them a very tight fit and that a press would need to be used to insert the the bearing races in to the cups that hold them in the frame's neck tube. I left them there and headed home to resume work.

My day went well and I even found a free hour to take the dogs around the Three Miler. I would have brought them home clean but half way around Whiffler found an open ditch and decided to run along 50 yards of it's length … mucky little sod!

By four thirty I had achieved my main objectives which included a modicum of shit stirring on a project where our team were engaged, then ignored. Our collective view is that some Empire Building has got entirely out of hand and it is time to get some management focus on a Programme that appears to be reliant on a bunch of overpaid Contractors with no proven ability to develop anything more complex that a PowerPoint presentation.

As I said, by four thirty I was just about done so headed back down the road to pick up my bearing races. Chris had obviously had a busy day and hadn't got around to pressing them in, so I spent twenty minutes chatting while he sorted them all out. He was also very helpful in suggesting an appropriate grease for the roller bearings and that I should use a threaded bar and metal plates as a primitive press to install the bearing cups/races.

I headed home with this new knowledge and eventually* settled in front of the Enfield's neck tube … Christ it was a pig of a job! I recalled Chris' comments about the machining and, in desperation, ran a mini sanding drum around the bearing cups. That mild abrasion was enough to allow them to be pressed in to the neck tube rather than skewing as they had tended to do before.  They were still bloody tight but they are now in and I hope they never need changing again.

I just need the grease and then I can start putting the damned thing back together again.

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* A hypo and an associated recuperative snooze delayed progress by an hour or more

Head down

Working for a living certainly makes the day go faster and today positively sped by.

At the moment there are political issues in my area of work and, as a result, we do not have access to Operational Architects. It will therefore come as no surprise that I have had to take on this mantle too* in an attempt to progress one of my projects. Over the past few days I have attempted to design an appropriate model and today I passed it out for a peer review … It was well received, so the next step will be to get the project team to review and, hopefully, sign up to it.

The remainder of the day was filled with calls, minutes and actions and it was soon time to knock off.  The evening was spent puzzling over, and fiddling with, a set of taper roller head bearings for the Enfield. It soon became apparent that I would need a professional with access to a press to insert the bearing races in to the sleeves … It looks like I will be nipping down to Redditch Motorcycles in the morning and I hope I haven't terminally jammed the race in the sleeve … oops!

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* In this particular project I have been the Requirements Architect, the Project Manager in additional to my primary role as Solution Integrator. I had better watch out as the lavatory cleaner is looking a bit peaky today!

Work 'n play

After many weeks of very light duties it has taken me a while to get back in the saddle with regard to managing a reasonable workload but, after today's performance, I think I am just about there.

The bulk of the morning was spent performing the electronic equivalent of doodling as I started to sketch out an Operational Model for one of my projects. The afternoon was mostly taken up with calls and I was even diligent enough to draft and issue a set of minutes before I knocked off and took Whiffler to puppy training.

Puppy Training! … How can I describe puppy training?

On the plus side; at least he was slightly more focused than last week and, to be fair, he did reasonably well at the exercises where he was required to sit or lie down while I stepped away from him. He had never done either of these before and sort of understood what was required of him.

However it is so hard to hold his attention and he just so wants to bugger off down the room and play with the other pups. I have a faint recollection of Tyson and Marauder being a nightmare for the first few weeks and can only hope that he eventually gets it and settles down at school.

Comment of the evening came from Brenda; the class leader; "I thought poodles were supposed to be intelligent" followed closely by "He isn't anything like your other two".

The sooner I start the sooner I get it sorted ...

It is likely to come as no surprise that Sunday morning was spent dismantling the front end of the Enfield.

I made an early start on ancillary components like indicators, handlebars and gauges but there was then an interlude while I waited for TP to emerge from his pit, break his fast and decide on Sunday's outfit. He eventually appeared fully dressed mid-morning and we soon had the bike back up on blocks. Shortly thereafter we had the front wheel out, the forks removed and the casquette and steering stem were lying on the floor. TP received an honorary discharge for services rendered and I headed out to the garage to retrieve a hammer and a selection of drifts. It was then a few moments work to removed the bearings and drive the bearing races from the frame, steering stem and casquette.

By the time I had finished it was lunch time and afterwards I headed around the Three Miler with the dogs. After yesterday's wet snow I was expecting it to be vile but the roads and verges had dried considerably in the cold weather and when we returned none of the dogs needed bathing … I was bloody amazed and I am sure that 30% thought we had just spent the past hour sat in the pub.

In an attempt to convincer her that I had actually completed a walk, I settled on the sofa in front of the fire and snored for the next ninety minutes.

As the afternoon drifted in to the evening I wandered back to the corpse of the Enfield and considered my options. I could do sweet Fanny Adams to the front of the bike until new bearings* arrive alter in the week. I therefore grabbed a box of parts from my stash and started to dry fit the rear brake pedal components …

… that should keep me busy for a while.

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* and a new ammeter … I knackered it dismantling the front end this morning

Swings and Roundabouts

There wasn't a huge amount to report for Friday. It was really just a case of head down, clear the work that accumulated from Thursday, write and submit a report and prepare for next week. It isn't very exciting here on the page and it was little better in real life.

The preceding pair of sentences are more than adequate to describe the 30th and I will now leap forward to Saturday.  We didn't plan to have a particularly busy day but we did want to head over to Evesham in the afternoon so my primary objective in the morning was to get the dog's walked.

We had had a light covering of wet snow overnight so the walk around the Three Miler was almost attractive as the filthy lanes were obscured by a rapidly melting half inch of snow. Needless to say the dogs got soaked and needed a good towelling down, on our return, before being confined to the Hall until they had dried off properly.

In the afternoon 30% and I headed over to Evesham to complete a few errands. Our first stop was at the Picture Framers where we dropped off a C19 engraving of some terriers that we picked up at an auction earlier in the month. We also took along the C18 painting of the Hunter just to see if there was anything that could be done with it.

I had previously contacted a local picture restorer about this old and filthy equine canvas, but his initial estimate for cleaning and restoration had been exorbitant and neither 30% nor I were willing to proceed without some idea of both the quality and value of the painting. It is all very well shelling out a small fortune to clean a Stubbs but we don't even know if this damned thing has a signature.

The framer advised that he knew a chap that might be able to restore it but suggested cleaning a small portion to see what it looked like. He scurried off in to his back room and returned with a wad of cotton wool and a bottle of clear liquid. He trial cleaned a small section along the edge of the canvas and, though it wasn't exactly a moment of revelation, it was apparent that the grime could be removed and we would be able to get a better idea of what we had. He advised that he would charge twenty pounds to give the canvas a clean so we left it with him. I must admit that I am quite excited to see his results in a couple of weeks time.

After leaving the framers we headed over to Bond & Moneypenny's to deliver a barely used Superdry jacket and then on to Stevie and the Elf's to drop off bubble-wrap … The first visit was to keep Bond jnr warm this winter and the second was to furnish S&E with packing materials as they are moving house next week. Both visits were brief, especially the second as S&E were out so the bubble-wrap was left in their garden for them to retrieve later.

We headed home and I recruited TP's assistance to lift the Enfield from it's stand with the aim of fitting the side stand and foot rests. As soon as I attempted to manoeuvre the bike it was apparent that something was amiss. The steering was horrible. Now that the full weight of the bike was supported by the steering head the steering had a definite notchiness. The bearings had looked fine during reassembly but are obviously shagged. I contemplated the several steps that would need to be retraced in order to remove the bearings and replace them … Fuck it!

I fitted the stand and foot pegs and then retired to the sofa with an iPad to research my bearing options. Did I say "Bollocks"?

A full day

Today seemed to be non-stop.

I hit the laptop around nine o'clock and was straight on to the weekly team call.I lingered there until around quarter past ten when I needed to stop, step away from my laptop, drag a razor around my face, throw on some business casual clothes, grab a set of notes and a few other necessities and head out of the door.

I then had to follow a circuitous route, as a result of roadworks, to the Dentist where I had a check up and scale. All seemed to be going well until she took a peep at one of the x-rays and it appears that a filling is in order and that may be followed by a crown at some point later in the year.

Once free of the Dentist's chair I headed down the motorway to Worcester and found myself a parking spot on one of the campuses of Worcester University. The reason for this out of character visit to an educational establishment is as follows …

… My oldest and dearest friend; Moneypenny is a Humanities Lecturer at this establishment and way back in 2013 she collared me and asked if I would be willing to attend their 2014 Career Fest and give a short talk on my educational and employment history as I was, apparently, a perfect example of those people who didn't know what they wanted to do for a living after leaving school.

I gave the talk in January 2014 and they either liked it or couldn't find anyone else because I was invited back to give a repeat performance today. I was bloody lucky that I had been diligent and had typed up my notes from my 2014 talk as this week had been very busy and had not had time to prepare. I ended up spending an hour sat in the car park; reviewing my material and jotting down a few additional thoughts as I waited for the session to kick off.

The talk went well and the staff and audience seemed to like the material that I had presented so by four o'clock I was able to escape and head back towards The Pile …

… I wandered in to the house and was greeted by 30% and the dogs and was about to head upstairs to get changed when 30% commented that I would be getting back in to much the same clothes in an hour's time. I had totally forgotten that we had been invited out for dinner this evening with 30%'s Mum and Dad. I revised my plan, remained in my clothes and pottered for an hour which basically involved putting a second coat of paint on my indicator brackets.

30% and I then headed out, taking a minor detour via Tesco to collect my new spectacles from their Optician's department. Our final destination was Redditch College, which has a full restaurant facility that opens each Thursday evening to allow their catering students to practice on real, live people. This evening they were serving a Burns Night Supper and I have to report that it was absolutely gorgeous.

The menu was five course in length and my choices were as follows:-

Scallops and Black Pudding salad

-

Cockaleekie soup

-

Haggis and Neeps

-

Pan Fried Duck Breast served with an Orange Clootie Dumpling and a choice of vegetables

-

Bread and Butter Pudding

-

Coffee and Petit Fours

I simply could not fault the meal. It was lovely and we had a lively evening, lubricated by wine, catching up on each others' news.

Mind You, by the time we got home I was glad to slip in to my pit. I was shattered.

I did manage some work this morning

After spending two days with a 'phone glued to my ear it was something of a relief to only have this afternoon taken up with conference calls.

I was therefore able to spend the morning clearing my inbox and progressing my latest batch of projects. As I sifted through my mail it became apparent that yesterday's review decision had been reversed and one of my projects is now able to move forward unhindered … so that one will probably be crossed off my list in the next day or so. The rest all need nudging forward but tomorrow is already blocked out with appointments so it looks like it will be Friday before I do any work this week!

On the bike front the 130 mm M8 stainless steel bolts arrived in the post this morning so I was finally able to fit the sump guard to the underside of the Enfield's engine. I now just need to grab some of TP's time and I can get the side stand and foot rests fitted.

The ongoing task this week has been to refurbish the front indicator brackets. The original plan was to mount the front indicators either side of the casquette but a redesign was necessary when they were held in position and a) looked shite, b) would be a pig to mount and c) were unlikely to conceal the holes drilled in the casquette to mount the now junked windshield. It was therefore necessary to trawl through a box of rusty junk, retrieve the indicator brackets, clean them up and repaint them so they can be re-affixed to the bike. They need another coat or two of paint but should be bolted back on at the weekend too.

Give me Strength

Today was very much like yesterday.

By eight o'clock I was dialled in to the conference bridge and endured several hours of one of the most blatant job creation schemes I have ever witnessed.* There was much talk of structure and governance and very little focus on identification of requirements and the necessary technical solutions needed to address them. If I am any judge this programme will not be completed before the current Master Services Agreement expires in three years time. There were no references to low hanging fruit, proofs of concept or  quick wins that one would normally expect to hear, particularly when, as in this case, this shit is about to hit the fan.

I was able to exit the workshop early as I had a review call to attend. I would have liked to use the term light relief  in relation to that review call but it soon became apparent that clueless clusterfuck was far more appropriate. Our request was to deploy a certain feature on a device and we were told in no uncertain terms that, while it was feasible, it was not officially sanctioned and we were on our own if we deployed it … in other words we would have to provide full support for the devices. However, on the call and in a flurry of mails that followed, it became apparent that the feature is not only used, it looks like it has official sanction too. This suggests that the Reviewers have about as much knowledge on the subject as I do.**

Give me strength!

Eventually the day ended and I did what any sane person would do … I emptied the bottle of Gordons in to a glass and added a slug of tonic to take the edge of it … aah!

As for the Enfield; the tennis balls were attached to the handlebars,*** the brake caliper was bolted to the fork slider and the headlight rim was attached to the casquette. Today's technical conundrum was how to disguise the holes in the casquette left after removing the ridiculous screen. The solution is likely to involve the original mounting spacers and some stainless steel socket cap screws …I just hope it works.

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* Call me cynical but many of the key team members are highly paid Contractors and they are not particularly well managed. They have very much been left to do their own thing and I think that lucrative procrastination tends to neatly define their modus operandi.
** and that is frightening an order of magnitude beyond petrifying
*** This is obviously temporary but does make it look a little like a circus clown bike

I need a couple of tennis balls

Today was not fun.

As a result of a very late invitation to a workshop in The Hague, my travel request had been declined. The impact of the refusal was that I was required to dial in to a conference call at eight o'clock this morning and spend the bulk of the day with a headset clamped to my skull.

I did my best to follow the narrative but there were occasions when many, garbled voices made the discourse unintelligible. To make matters worse I am scheduled to do the same tomorrow.

As five o'clock drew near the workshop closed for the day and I finally escaped from the laptop. My only real break had been from eleven until twelve* when I clamped the handlebars to the Enfield. This activity meant that TP was given an additional mission when he took Whiffler for a run around the local playing field … I asked him to check the long grass near the tennis club and bring me back a couple of tennis balls if he found any.

My luck was in and he returned not only with a pair of tennis balls, but also a football that will give the dogs a huge amount of fun. I scrubbed the worst of the grime from the balls and put them in a warm place to dry off.

30% and I then gathered up Whiffler and a variety of doggy accessories and headed off to puppy training … I'm not really sure why we bothered as he was a headstrong little bugger that was far more interested in his classmates than on performing as requested. To be fair he wasn't a total disaster but it is fair to say that he was easily distracted.  It appears that the previous lesson had included a bitch that had just finished her season so it was quite possible that the hall had too many distracting scents this evening.

That just about covers my day … apart from explaining about the tennis balls. Motorcycle handlebars are like bull horns until the grips are attached. The balls will have a short slit made in each and be stuck on the end of the bars to minimise the risk of injury as work progresses.

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* Remember the workshop was operating on Central European Time so they lunch early.

For the want of a nail ...

Sunday was taken at a very leisurely pace.

Ten o'clock had passed before I had breakfasted, slipped on a coat and hat, gathered up the dogs and exited the house for a wander around the Three Miler for a walk…

… My timing was perfect, as I arrived home to find that the groceries had been delivered and put away in my absence and I needed to do little more than hose down the dogs legs' to remove the mud accumulated in the past hour.

My only must do had been accomplished and I had the rest of the day to do as I pleased. I therefore recruited TP's assistance, hefted the Enfield up on to blocks and fitted the front wheel. The plan was to follow this with the installation of the sump guard, side stand and foot rests but it soon became apparent that I needed a longer stud to fit the guard. Neither stand nor foot pegs could be fitted until the sump guard was in place so my plans for the afternoon were buggered.

I also seemed to be having real problems keeping my blood sugar high enough since returning from my walk so I shoved a custard tart in my mouth and headed for the sofa with a cup of coffee. The film I selected must have been very bad as I awoke a couple of hours later with one hell of a crick in my neck.

I was reluctant to allow a missing M8 stud to halt progress on the bike so I extracted the front mudguard and carrier from their wrappings and fitted them instead.

It definitely looks like a motorcycle now.