Misdirected motivation

If I am honest I had real problems applying my nose to the grindstone today.

The day actually started very early when a ton of top soil was delivered at a few minutes after seven o'clock. The bulk bag was neatly deposited by the new raised bed and I really wanted to grab a spade and start filling the bed rather than head towards the study.

A week's holiday and the initiation of a number of projects in the garden meant that I was not in the mood for work and would have much preferred to be focussing on the garden. This was not helped by the fact that 30% arranged for the delivery of a wood chipper at lunch time and I really wanted to have a play with that.

Reluctantly I opened my e-mail application and watched as my in-box updated. There was only one hundred and thirty unread emails and I soon deleted the junk and irrelevant, leaving me with a handful that needed my attention. None of these were urgent and consequently did nothing to engender any degree of motivation.

I therefore spent the day flitting between my laptop and the Enfield. The postman had brought a new set of exhaust studs and it was apparent that these would allow me to fit the Trials Exhaust. I just needed to remove the stubborn stud. I reapplied heat and WD40 and even tried some judicious tapping with a hammer and punch in an attempt to release the stud from the corroded embrace of the cylinder head. Eventually I committed, attached two nuts on to the stud, tightened them against each other and then carefully attempted to unscrew the stud. I nervously gave the spanner a couple of taps with a hammer and then applied some pressure …

… All the time I was doing this the repercussions of a snapped exhaust stud were front and centre in my thoughts …

… Suddenly there appeared to be slight movement. Had I freed it or had the fucker given way? I applied pressure to the spanner again and it moved a little more. There was no sudden lack of resistance that occurs when a stud snaps and I pushed on the spanner once more. It moved again and I could see that it was actually rotating out of the cylinder head. After a few more turns I had the stud in my hand. I was incredibly relieved to have won this minor battle with the Shitter.

I was then able to trial fit the exhaust pipe and realise that I would need to order a simple bracket to mount the silencer to the bike. A few minutes on eBay had one winging its way to me.

After the success with the bike I grudgingly returned to my laptop and did as little as possible* until I felt that I could abandon it without being seen to be skiving.

I then took a walk around the Three Miler with the dogs and returned to see that TP had filled the bed with the top soil. I therefore wandered over to the wood chipper, donned ear defenders and spent the forty minutes prior to dinner making a start on chipping the huge pile of woody debris that has resulted form our recent gardening activities.

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* A forty minute conversation with my frolleague Lou helped significantly with this clock watching activity.

Back to work tomorrow

Monday was considerably less frenetic than the preceding weekend. This was probably a good thing as I had a multitude of aches and twinges after two days of lopping, digging and hauling.

In the morning I got on the 'phone and ordered a tonne of top soil to fill the new raised bed. Then 30% and I headed in to Redditch to make enquiries about the hire of a wood chipper and also to take a wander around the aisles of Tesco. We were back home by lunchtime and then headed around the Three Miler with the dogs.

After the walk I felt that I should continue with the garden so grabbed a spade and the wheelbarrow and headed down to the far end under the other Yew tree …  A few years ago, when we had the patio block paved, nearly a ton of sharp sand had been left on site.  I had bagged it up and abandoned it under the aforementioned Yew … today I spent a rather painful half hour emptying the bags in to the barrow, trundling it a few yards to the fence and then shovelling the sand in to the void between the new wall and the earth bank. It was a quick win as an eyesore has been removed and reused as backfill.

As the afternoon drew to a close I checked my e-mail and Hitchcocks had replied to my enquiry. The had sent out replacement components that should enable fitment of the Trials Exhaust. A consequence of this was that I now needed to remove the standard exhaust studs. The first of these was straightforward as I had only installed it a few weeks ago, however the second had been in place since the bike was built. I tried removing it by using two nuts but it did not want to budge.

Being paranoid about snapping the stud I applied a few squirts of penetrating oil and heated the stud with a butane torch but it still resisted. I squirted more WD40 at it and decided to leave it overnight while I went away to research Loctite freeze and release spray.

As our Easter holiday draws to a close it is fair to say that there have been some very visible changes here at The Pile and it looks like we are going to have a very busy Summer tidying up the garden. A shed had been mentioned as a possible new addition to the garden. 30% also managed to get the flights booked for our next holiday so our post holiday blues have been somewhat dissipated by the fact that we know we will be heading to San Francisco on 20th August.

Weekend round-up

The past couple of days have been spent in a full scale assault on the garden here at The Pile.

On Saturday I extracted the lawn mower from the garage and completed the first cut of the season. With the lawn looking somewhat more controlled, the tree loppers and chainsaw were broken out and the two piles of prunings at the back of the house were considerably enlarged. A thin but tall Hawthorn was removed from the bed near the Holly tree and, after some severe pruning by 30%, I cut out the bulk of a leggy Elder that was pushing its way up through the aforementioned Ilex.

I then swapped the chainsaw for the loppers and hit the Laurel hedge that sits on the bank above our newly laid wall. This was long overdue for a pruning and I must have taken three to five feet out of the top and sides of it. We are hoping that the pruning will encourage it to thicken up at the base where it is rather thin.

As I chopped and hacked 30% and TP assisted by hauling away the trimmings to the now massive piles  of debris at the back of the house. 30% eventually saw the wood for the trees and decreed that a wood chipper needed to be hired as we had way too much to burn.

I also took the chainsaw out and performed some gentle tidying around the base of the Yew where it had got somewhat battered during the recent construction work. Some of the lower branches have been scraped and scarred and but I am hopeful that they will recover over the growing season. I also had a go at the huge Christmas Tree in the corner of the garden, removing the dead boughs and thinning those that overhang the lawn … when we re-stock with chickens we will be able to reach the run without getting soaked by it.

Feeling somewhat jaded I decided to take a run to the Tip. This allowed me to sit down for forty minutes and I also managed to dispose of three broken garden chairs and the lawn clippings.

As the afternoon waned 30% headed off to the supermarket and I settled to a task that had been niggling me occasionally over the past week … Just before we headed off to The Gower I attempted a trial fit of the exhaust pipe on The Enfield. It was not right as the pipe projected too far beyond the flange and consequently the nuts could not be put on to the exhaust studs …  I spent the spare time drafting a mail to Hitchcocks attempting to describe the problem and asking for guidance.

I am hoping for a quick resolution to this problem as I only need to bleed the front brake, fit the tank and attach the exhaust before the bike is theoretically ready for its MOT.

I then put thoughts of The Enfield aside, showered and changed in preparation for an evening spent at the Village Hall helping Kathy H-R celebrate her seventieth birthday. We felt quite honoured to be invited and had a lovely informal evening drinking and chatting with our friends from the village … at one point I volunteered to pull the neck on VI's evil bastard of a Light Sussex cock as he is getting far too aggressive for VI to manage.

I was thankful that it wasn't a late night after our busy day and I was in bed the right side of midnight.

I made an early start on Sunday and was out in the garden just before nine o'clock. A spade and axe were the tools of choice and the morning was spent removing the stumps of several shrubs along with the Elder I cut out yesterday.

The plan is to clear the beds along the left hand side of the lawn, level them  and lay turf. We are hoping that this will give us a more spacious and light garden that can be easily tidied with the lawn mower.

30%'s Mum and Dad joined us for lunch and a viewing of our recent projects. We had a pleasant time chatting and it was nice to sit for a while after the strenuous activities of the morning.

In the afternoon the chainsaw made another appearance and the peculiar dwarf conifer at the base of the  holly was cut out. I was then able to prune the holly and this has made a remarkable difference to the garden. It already seems so much more open and light now the beds to the left of the lawn have been cleared.

If I am honest I was exhausted by this hard work and my shoulders and back were starting to twinge as the afternoon progressed. My last exertion was to help TP who had done a sterling task of removing hardcore from the base of the new raised bed at the front of the house.

From that point forward I pottered, completing a few final tasks before collapsing on the sofa. I was absolutely knackered and almost too tired for the glass of red wine 30% proffered.

Home again

There is not a huge amount to report for Friday. The morning was spent packing up the car and giving our holiday home a quick clean. By eleven o'clock TP and JN were making their way up the cliff path* and were we taking one last walk along the beach before saying goodbye to our host Bob.

Our return journey was via the M4 rather than the Heads of the Valleys road and after one hundred and thirty miles we pulled up outside The Pile to find Hayden tidying up. He had just about finished and the new steps look fantastic. His stone work for the raised bed is less impressive but I am sure it will look fine once it has been planted up and I have grown accustomed to its somewhat crude courses.

Needless to say the rest of the day was taken up with unpacking the car and settling back in to the domestic routine. Eddie seemed pleased to see us after being left in charge for the past seven days.**

In the afternoon we made a token start on the garden by creating a huge pile of branches that need to be either burnt or chipped. These were a combination of 30%'s recent pruning activities and those that had been blocking the drive after being left there by Hayden.  We can now get a car on to the drive but the washing line is now virtually inaccessible by a head high pile of prunings that must be ten or more feet in length. ***

This Summer's project is to tidy up the garden and it is a task of Herculean proportions. It is also likely to be fraught with creative differences as 30% and I have quite different approaches to the garden. She thinks that I just want to cover everything with concrete whilst I think she tends to arrange deck chairs on the Titanic.

Hopefully I can get her to see that you need a clear design and structure before you start to plant.

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* With three dogs and all of our luggage there was no room for the boys but, at least, they didn't have to lug their bags the mile back up to the Post Office where TP's Fiat was parked.
** He was checked on daily by frolleague Deb who lives just round the corner.
*** a second, similarly sized, pile is now sitting on the paved area between house and garage.

Our last full day

It is fair to say that 30% has a bit of a thing about Rhossilli Bay …

… now I am very fond of it and more than happy to walk out along it's splendid sandy arch or take in the splendour of the views from up on the headland, but I don't have a "thing" about it. I really like it there and appreciate it's beauty but I do not have any overly significant emotional attachment to it …

… getting back to 30%'s thing, it came as no surprise that she wanted to spend the last day of her holiday with another visit to Rhossilli beach. The plan was that we would spend the morning at Pwll Du, take lunch at the cottage and then head over to Rhossilli.

And that is pretty much how things panned out. In the morning TP and JN headed up the valley for a walk and 30% and I spent time pottering at the cottage and taking a short walk along Pwll Du beach with the dogs. Lunch was eaten al fresco and then we loaded up the Defender and headed across the Gower.

The weather today was, again, fantastic and Rhossilli didn't disappoint. After the hike down from the headland we wandered perhaps two hundred yards across the beach and then had it virtually to ourselves. The dogs were let loose and we wandered a mile or so along the sands. TP and JN had brought a tennis ball and baseball bat and the the dogs were exercised, acting as canine fielders for the boys. A good strike would have Whiffler charging across the beach for a hundred yards or more to retrieve the ball.  As the afternoon came to an end we headed back up the steep path and dropped in at the Worms Head Hotel to rest our legs and take refreshment.  After an hour sat in the sun we headed back to Bishopston and stopped off at The Joiners for a fabulous fish and chip supper before heading down the lane back to Ship Cottage.

We really couldn't have asked for a better "last day". We had great weather, beautiful views, exercise and rest and fantastic food.

A good walk spoiled

Wednesday 8 April 2015

30% decided that we should walk up through the valley this morning and eat lunch at The Joiners.*

I had tried to dissuade her from this walk earlier in the week as I suspected that the path would be absolutely filthy. Unfortunately my wise words were ignored and, instead, she preferred to take council from a stranger with a grubby dog who claimed the path was fine. 

Within half a mile we were encountering areas where walkers and livestock had turned the path in to ankle deep mud. I was not impressed ... Having spent the Winter walking filthy lanes the last thing I wanted to do on my holiday was walk thorough more crap. 

Also the nature of the path was not great for 30%. It was narrow, rocky and twisted and turned through tree roots, ruts and quagmires. At present 30% is not too steady on her feet and this was far from an ideal walk for her. 

For every hundred yards I walked 30% would cover about seventy five and I was having to stop every few minutes to allow her to catch up. It was a bloody nightmare as I could never maintain any rhythm to my walking with this stop start arrangement. 

I should also point out that no maps were consulted prior to our departure so we were reliant on the sign posts to ensure we were headed in the right direction. 

After about an hour the path was barely visible as it followed a steep boulder street dry stream bed ... Hardly ideal terrain for 30%. We eventually cleared this obstacle and came to a fork in the path. One branch was signposted Bishopston but seemed to lead away from where we needed to go. Another sign pointed up a steep flight of stone steps but gave no named destination. 

I left 30% to catch her breath and climbed the steps to see if I could see any signs of civilisation. After a couple of hundred yards I could hear voices and see power lines. I retraced some of my steps and shouted a report to her lady ship. She came up the steps to join me and we soon found ourselves at the top of the valley. 

We crossed a couple of paddocks, passed a farm yard and an extreme dollop of good luck had us 50 yards from The Joiners' front door. 

It may have turned out alright but, just as easily, we could have been dealing with a broken ankle in an impenetrable valley. 30% has to get a more realistic view of her current walking capabilities. 

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* TP and JN planned to drive down to the Mumbles for a couple of hours and would meet us up at the pub. 

A surreal walk at Oxwich Bay

Tuesday 7 April 2015

This morning dawned bright and sunny and we all sat out in the sun to eat breakfast al fresco. 

TP and JN decided to take a drive in to Swansea to explore, leaving 30% and me to our own devices. We decided upon a short walk along the beach, so gathered up leads, poo bags and a tennis ball. 

By the time we had got our collective arses in to gear, a fog had rolled in and very little could be seen of the beach, cliffs or bay. We spent thirty or forty minutes throwing a ball for the dogs before wandering back to the cottage. 

We pottered for the remainder of the morning and lunched at the cottage too. In the afternoon we headed out to Oxwich Bay for a walk with the dogs. As we drove along the headlands we emerged again in to bright sunshine but dropped back in to the fog as we pulled in to the car park. 

Surprisingly there were quite a few families sat out on the sand in a fog so thick that visibility was limited to twenty yards. It seemed a bizarre thing to be sitting out on a beach with views restricted to a surrounding grey curtain a few yards out. 

We wandered away from the populated portion of the beach, out along the line of the dunes. Within a few minutes we were totally isolated, walking on firm damp sand in a bubble maybe fifty yards across. We could see nothing; not the sea, nor the dunes or the sun. It was just us and the dogs in this monotone bubble ... It was very surreal. 

We walked as far as the small river that runs out across the bay before turning back. As we reached the car park the fog started to clear and we were rewarded with a view of the western end of the bay as we sat with a coffee in front of the snack bar. 

We arrived back at Ship Cottage a few minutes after TP and JN and learned that their visit included the Swansea Museum and castle as well leching at the local young ladies!

Their evening was taken up with beer and toasted marsh mallows by a fire on the beach. We just collapsed by the fire in front of the TV. 

A close shave

Monday 6 April 2015

The plan for today was that TP and JN would wander along the cliff path to Brandy Cove for a swim. 

Late in the morning they headed off with wetsuits and towels. We arranged to walk up to meet them later on and then head up in to Bishopston for lunch at The Joiners. 

As noon approached we rounded up the dogs, locked up and headed out in to the bright sunshine. There were many walkers out enjoying this fine Easter Monday and the dogs had to stay on their leads for most of the time. 

As we wandered along the cliff path 30% stumbled, lost her footing and fell from the path. With my hands occupied by the  dog leads I was unable to catch her and could only watch as she rolled down the steep hill toward the sea. Fortunately she caught in a gorse bush after a couple of feet and was able to get back up to the path with only a few bruises and a loss of dignity. 

The worrying thig was that if this had happened a few yards further on there would have been no gorse bushes to slow her fall and she would have fallen fifty or a hundred feet to the rocks below. It was a close shave and she was lucky not to have been seriously injured or worse!

I think I need to find a way to broach the subject of increasing her fitness, dropping a few pounds and to get a better grasp of her walking abilities. 

A few hundred yards later we reached the cove and there was no sight of TP. We eventually made contact and found that they had gone on ahead to the pub. We walked up to join them and enjoyed beer and gourmet burgers in a very sunny beer garden/car park. 

With our hunger and thirst sated we headed back down the cliff path to Pwll Du, pausing en route to pick up ice creams for pudding. 

The rest of the afternoon was spent lazing at the cottage where I apparently snoozed for a couple of hours. 

A birthday and a bit of an adventure

Today was 30%'s birthday and, after a very leisurely start, it was decided that she would like to celebrate by taking a walk along Rhosilli beach.*

The weather on the beach was superb and despite it being Easter Sunday there was only a few dozen people on the sands.** We had acres of space to walk and throw a ball for the dogs. 

We probably strolled a mile or so before turning and heading back to the path up the cliff. Up at the top we found a seat on the hotel's patio and lunched looking out over Worm's Head. 

The afternoon was spent back at Pwll Du taking it easy. I may well have spent an hour examining the inside of my eyelids. 

During the afternoon we attempted to ascertain TP's whereabouts. The plan was that he would drive down this afternoon in the company of JN and join us for dinner. 

The reality was somewhat different. They left home at four in the afternoon and it took them four and a half hours to travel the one hundred and twenty miles to Swansea!

They were tight lipped when questioned about navigational errors but as the evening drew on it became apparent that they had had a few adventures.***

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* it was also decided that her gift would be to spend Easter week 2016 at Ship Cottage ... I had better get that booked before someone else does. 

** walking with three Standard Poodles has made us something of a carnival attraction and we could not go far without being accosted for a chat, compliments, a stroke of the dogs and even the occasional photo

*** A detour via Cardiff City centre, a wrong turn on the M5/M50 roundabout and a viewing of a bridge that looked like a lifting bridge, but wasn't, all slipped out as they chatted ... Christ knows where they really went!

Coffee at Caswell Bay

Saturday 4 April 2015

It was something of a rude awakening when 30% roused me in the early hours of the morning. She was concerned that one of the dogs needed a pee and it was muggins here that needed to shrug on a shirt and jeans and escort them down to the beach to "perform".

I was soon back in bed snuggled under the duvet, but wide awake. It must have been the best part of an hour before I dropped off but I then slept through until nine o'clock ... a serious lie-in for me. 

After a leisurely breakfast we decided to walk the cliff path along to Caswell Bay, stop for a coffee at the cafe there and then return to Pwll Du. 

The weather was glorious and we were soon regretting bringing coats and sweat shirts as the sun shone down upon us. The cliffs and hills were ablaze with the yellow of gorse in full flower and it was so nice to see colours after the drab tones of Winter and early Spring. 

We walked at a leisurely pace and had soon completed the mile and a quarter to  Caswell. As planned, coffee was drunk at the cafe before we headed back to Ship Cottage. 

We then had a decidedly lazy afternoon. A kip was taken on the sofa and a short walk to the bay was taken but we were soon pouring glasses of wine, lighting the log burner and tucking in to sausage and mash. 

It would have been perfect if I hadn't had to endure the final episode of The Voice ...

... and 30% thinks I watch shite TV!

A week away

Friday 3rd April

The plan for today was to spend the morning getting our shit together, have lunch and then head off down to the Gower. 

And that is basically how the day panned out. We took a leisurely, almost casual, approach to packing that comes from familiarity of what is needed for a week at Pwll Du. There is no need for suit cases or soft luggage as the car can be parked a few feet from the door to Ship Cottage and shopping bags are far better suited to this task. 

During the morning we were visited by Jules and later by BMS and SMS who all came to wish 30% Birthday greetings and to hand over gifts and cards. 

Hayden also arrived and we talked through the final jobs that need to be completed as he he should be finished by the time we return home from our week away. 

A late lunch was eaten and it was no more than twenty minutes work to load up the Defender. TP was given last minute instructions* and the dogs were put in to the car. 

It was half past two and we were finally setting off. The Defender was superb on the motorway and it's sixth gear makes cruising at seventy enjoyable rather than the deafening experience of the Td5. 

Within an hour or so we had crossed the border in to Wales and were making great progress. As we passed a sign post for Abergavenny I has a nagging suspicion that I should have turned off.  I asked 30% to turn on the Sat Nav and it was at this point we learnt that it's battery was flat and that the Defender's 12 volt outlet wasn't working. 

The net result of this minor hiccough was that we travelled to Swansea down the M4 rather than our more usual route down The Heads of the Valleys road. 

We arrived at Pwll Du shortly before five o'clock and negotiated the rock track down the side of hill to the bay. I had forgotten how steep it is in places but we were soon at the bottom and fording the river before parking up outside the cottage. 

It was so nice to be back here and our familiarity with the accommodation meant that we were settled in within minutes. The log burner was lit, beer was poured and steaks were soon sizzling in the pan. 

It really doesn't get much better than this. 

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* He is working over the weekend and wildly travel down to join us on Sunday. 

I'm not doing anything else today

It is far to say that the past three days have been somewhat jam packed, as I attempted to complete domestic necessities and tie up loose ends at work before leaving for a week at Pwll Du.

I haven't had the energy to write a journal entry since Monday so here I go with a quick summary of Tuesday through Thursday* ...

… Tuesday morning started with a trip in to Redditch to drop Whiffler off at the Dog Groomers. I returned home and spent the rest of the day head down at work. There is nothing else to report apart from the fact that I managed to put the second coat of paint on the Enfield's seat bracket.

Moving on to Wednesday; I tidied myself up and headed in to the nearest Depot. I had expenses to submit and I also needed to scan and email a form to my manager, These activities are far easier to perform using the MFPs at work so I spent the day head down in the Office. All in all it was quite a productive day and I even managed to knock up a cost and pricing analysis for one of my projects … it may be of use if the shit hits the fan while I am away.

Back at home I managed to find the energy to complete an evening walk around the Three Miler with 30% and the dogs and I also managed to fit the seat to the Enfield.

Hayden also turned up and we now have the first three steps constructed that will ultimately lead to the front door.

And so to Thursday … I spent the day ensuring that all of my projects were progressed as far as possible and that my team mates knew what to be working on whilst I was away. In the minutes I had spare; milk was purchased from the village shop,  tea was made for Hayden, 30%'s prescription was collected from the Surgery and the dogs eventually got fed around five o'clock in the evening.

A set of rubber mats arrived to protect the Defender's carpets and these were installed a few moments after I reached the point of exclaiming "fuck it, I'm done".

I have had a busy couple of months and I am definitely ready for a break.

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* There ain't gonna be a lot of detail as I have already sunk a beer and Tesco** curry
** Filling and always disappointing

Starting Problems

At the moment I seem to have real problems settling to my work on a Monday morning. It may be because my weekends have been so busy that I am using Monday as down-time rather than doing what I am supposed to be doing.

It doesn't help that I had a string of non-work activities that I needed to address and each of these had the tendency to divert my attention from my laptop. The first of these was to run T&M in to the dog groomers. At eight o'clock sharp I introduced them to the back of the new Land Rover* and headed in to Redditch. With no dog guard in the car, I was concerned about whether they would try to climb on to the back seats but they just sat down and took in the views.

I was back at my desk before nine but was unable to give my full attention to my work. I needed to keep an ear open for the delivery of slate for our steps and also for a chap from Hogan Bros who was coming to collect the Range Rover's Venture Cam.** Ultimately there would be the call to collect T&M too. None of these were particularly significant interruptions but for some reason I found it hard to apply myself knowing that I would need to step away from my desk.

The day crawled onward, the domestic activities were completed and, between times, I even managed to do some work, although far less than I should have!

As five o'clock passed I stepped away from my desk and tidied myself … This evening we had tickets for a performance of Jeeves and Wooster in Perfect Nonsense at the Malvern Winter Gardens. I have to say that it was a fabulous play that was laugh out loud funny from start to finish. It's three man cast included Robert Web playing Bertie Wooster and it was hilarious in an almost Milliganesque fashion as the supporting actors switched characters, often midway through an act. The humour was multi level from Wodehouse's farcical stories and characterisation to visual gags based on the scenery and props. Christopher Ryan*** playing an 8' fascist was hysterical as he is not a tall man and made much use of a small table and a very long leather coat.

I absolutely loved this play and gave it an unreserved 10/10. It was the best piece of theatre and comedy I have seen in a very long time.

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* They leapt straight in. The split tail gate of the Range Rover was higher and seemed to confuse them as they needed to jump up on to a shelf sticking out in mid air. The Defender seems lower and it is far easier for them to judge their jump in to the back of the car.
** I had conveniently forgotten to leave this in the car as I had intended to sell it on eBay.
*** Mike from The Young Ones

Another busy day

I was hoping for a quieter Sunday, but I am not sure that it was.

First  task of the day was to pull the neck on the last of our chickens. It was an ancient Minorca who was well past her prime. I don't think she had laid an egg for a very long time and, consequently, was of no use to Kathy. I really don't like killing anything so this was a job that I was not looking forward to. It was a quick death, but it doesn't get any easier.

Next on the list was a trip in to Redditch to pick up milk, diesel and a crook lock for the Defender. The Station Wagon may have two immobilisers and an alarm, but it is currently parked in the lay-by as our drive is blocked by Hayden's skip. I much prefer a visible deterrent as well as the electronic measures to put off the ne'er-do-wells.

Having finished running around, and resolving a misunderstanding about the Defender's jack,* I found time to settle with the Enfield's rear light and indicators. I finally had all necessary connectors, grommets and other shit that would allow me to run the cable under the mud guard, exit through a neatly drilled hole and connect up to the lights. So I spent a happy hour snipping off the old bullet connectors, threading the cable through the hole in the mud guard and holding it in place with the cable tie mounts I had epoxied in place a week ago.

Progress was disturbed by lunch and then 30% and I headed out around a wet and blustery Three Miler with the dogs. Upon our return I was persuaded to assist TP with his latest escapade …

… One of his friends was selling their drum kit at a give-away price so the Defender was required to perform load lugging duties. I let TP drive and he declared the Land Rover even more invincible than the last one as he trundled around the village. We took a minor detour so that we could dispose of the chicken carcass out on the Three Miler where the foxes will take it away. A few minutes later we pulled up at his friend's house. Money changed hands and the drum kit was loaded in to the Defender while I was hassled by a rather senile grand mother who a) wouldn't leave me alone and b) wouldn't shut the fuck up. As we drove off TP opined that "they are all fucking crazy, apart from Frank".

Back at home I returned to the Enfield's rear light. I finished crimping the new connectors and went on to finally bolt the rear mud guard in to place. The lights were connected up and the number plate carrier was bolted on. I went on to connect the battery and test my wiring … It all worked perfectly, first time.

It has taken me weeks to get this sorted

The electrics cover was bolted in place and I even managed a trial fit of the seat. I didn't get very far as the front bracket is too wide and will need to be ground back before it will slot in to the frame. I was too tired to take on that job so declared an end to my labours and joined 30% in the kitchen with a celebratory beer.

I am so looking forward to our week in Wales.

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* It has a tiny bottle jack, stowed by the battery, rather than the four foot long, high lift jack I was expecting to see stowed under the second row seating.

Say Hello, Wave Goodbye

Today was the day that we said goodbye to the Range Rover.

After nine months of ownership we have realised that it is just not us* and that a Defender Station Wagon is a far better compromise of load carrier, towing vehicle and general run-around for a small family with three large dogs. The Range Rover was a beautiful car with a gorgeous interior but I never really bonded with it and I hated the fucking automatic gear box. It was way too slow and, for most of the time I drove it, I was sat behind the wheel urging the damned thing to change up … and, as for the split tail gate, that was just a stupid design feature that made getting stuff out of the cavernous boot unnecessarily difficult.

I don't think I'll miss it.

First thing this morning I transferred the final few hundred pounds across to Hogan Bros and rang to let them know. They advised that yesterdays ten grand had arrived and they trusted me about the balance … I could pop over any time to sort out paperwork and pick up the Station Wagon.

This became something of a family outing as TP wanted to come to collect the new Defender and 30%'s Audi has finally had it's electrical problem identified and resolved. We all climbed in to the Range Rover and headed over to Alcester where 30% was dropped off at the Audi specialist to collect her car.** TP and I continued in to Redditch and swapped the Range Rover for the new Defender.

It is quite lovely. It is a 110 County Station Wagon in a dark, metallic grey with the Land Rover XS half-leather trim. TP was particularly taken by the privacy glass in the rear windows and declared us even more invincible as this Defender was even bigger than the last one.

We headed off out of Redditch and our first journey was a trip over to Worcester to pick up the newly serviced chainsaw. We arrived home to grab a coffee, feed the dogs and wait for 30% … she had headed on to Stratford after picking up her car to complete a few errands.

30% arrived home some thirty minutes later and we lunched before she took the Defender out for a spin. Having got used to the Range Rover's massive size, she adapted well to the CSW and was soon at ease with the gearbox and controls … We both just need to remember that we no longer have front or rear parking sensors!

After the test drive TP and I completed a circuit of the Three Miler with the dogs. There was little time to relax upon our return as he needed to prepare for a shift at the pub and 30% and I needed to head back in to Redditch for her sister's birthday tea.  We had a pleasant enough time munching cake, drinking weak tea and chatting with the family but I have to admit that the Birthday Girl has a totally fucked up value system and this grated with my sensibilities. Repeated references to unpaid bills, fraud scams and her concerns that actually getting off her arse and working might demean her reputation as a DJ with the neer-do-well, fuckwits she calls friends started to annoy me.

Basically she has developed a benefit claimants attitude of wanting the middle class lifestyle and trappings but has no intention of doing a decent day's fucking work to pay for it.

I escaped at about six o'clock and we headed home. Unfortunately it was not time for a G&T. Our next job was to box up the chickens and take them down the road to Kathy H-R. We have decided this is the only way to remove our rat problem so it will be no chickens at The Pile for a year or two while we tidy runs and eradicate the vermin.

Kathy gratefully took the chickens and the three spare bags of feed and I drove back home to a beer and a gammon supper. I was absolutely shattered after yet another non-stop day.

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* We have marked this down as my mid-life crisis.
** They must have had it for the best part of two months

Knackered

Like many people, I do like my Fridays to be at the quiet or even lazy end of the busyness spectrum.

Unfortunately today was not going to be one of those Fridays. I had heaps to do before I knocked off at  five o'clock. The working day started at half past eight and I spent the first two hours on a team call discussing our projects and our suggestions for service improvements. I had been panicking mildly about what I should propose, but the Gods smiled at me at the end of last week when a colleague contacted me about the template I use to engage our stroppy Pricer. I have grudgingly volunteered to develop a template for use by two separate teams and this has been well received … it looks like I'll be giving an overview presentation on next week's team call too.

Having escaped from the two hour call, I opened up last week's status report and spent some time documenting this week's achievements and calamities. By half past eleven I had just about finished, so saved it and filed in in the relevant shared directory.

I then headed out in the Range Rover to the beloved Hogan Bros to collect the invoice for the Defender Station Wagon. After their shenanigans on Tuesday there was no way I was transferring over ten thousand pounds to them without some proof of purchase.

I headed back home and returned to my desk. The rest of the afternoon was spent clearing the decks and getting my latest project started … For the past few months a team mate and I have been dabbling at the edge of a massive programme that is not progressing particularly well. He proposed a technical solution that might help in some areas but it is fair to say that the suggestion was not welcomed. We have been working in the background to further develop this idea and we have finally been given the go ahead by our AVP to develop our idea in to a full cost benefit analysis … Now I have some real work to do!

Whilst putting my shoulder to this metaphorical rock I was also managing the movement of large sums of money between accounts and communicating with a car salesman who I trust about as far as I could throw.

As the afternoon waned, I finally found and hour to walk around the Three Miler with TP and the dogs. 30% and I also managed a quick trip to the super market, as the cupboards were bare, before collapsing on the sofa in front of the television.

We were both truly shattered.

Christ! 30% can be fucking annoying at times

There was no sign of Hayden this morning but he eventually answered his mobile 'phone and I was able to check that the slate specifications were acceptable. He was more than happy with our choice and I left him to whatever he was doing, wherever he was.

My next task was to get the slate ordered. My MasterCard was flexed and it is due on site on Monday morning. If I am honest there is not a lot else to report for the rest of the day. I got my head down and attempted to move my current batch of projects forwards. There is one that I have been putting off for a good few days and I finally managed to make a decision about how to overcome the inertia that seems to be hindering progress. A mail was drafted and I decided that it should be accompanied by a template to gather the information I require … I just need to design the spreadsheet now.

As the afternoon turned in to the evening I got up from my desk, rounded up TP and the dogs and headed off around the lanes for a walk. We arrived home shortly after six and I was surprised that 30% was not yet home. She turned up a few minutes later, advising that she had abandoned her planned visit to the supermarket and had, instead, spent the last half hour at work gossiping with a colleague.

She then rushed around attempting to get a large loin of pork in to the oven as soon as possible. As the evening passed she advised that dinner might be later than normal … at around seven thirty she called me to the kitchen, asked me to deliver cutlery and condiments to the table and then asked me to carve the pork.

Within a couple of slices I could see that it was nowhere near ready to be eaten. I advised her of this and nearly got my head bitten off. She insisted that I carve more slices of the joint and she would then put them back in the oven to finish off. By this time the vegetables were already in a dish and heading for the table. I suggested that she should consider pan frying them instead and got snapped at again.*

I cut a few more slices and by this time the pork was clearly raw. I insisted that she touch the meat to prove to her that it was still chilled. At this point I advised her that I was not going to eat it unless it was pan fried. I headed off the the dining room to keep TP company and left 30% to it.

An awkward while later she came in to the dining room with a board of fried pork. This finally looked edible rather than recently deceased. I put a few slices on my plate and added some vegetables.

Funnily enough I didn't have much of an appetite after having my head bitten off for basically refusing to eat meat until it was properly cooked. I guess she was wound up because  everything was late and not done properly but that wasn't my fault and I wasn't insisting that dinner be on the table at a specific time, neither was I the one that decided that we should eat a roast loin of pork.

As it says in the title of this entry ...

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* Apparently it was my fault that the joint hadn't been put in earlier because I was out walking the dogs when I should have been there to answer the phone and take her instructions. It did occur to me that perhaps she should have come straight home form work instead of gossiping for thirty minutes but I kept those thoughts to myself.

Getting stuff done

There is not a huge amount to report for Wednesday as most of the working day was spent on a single activity …

… Yesterday I was contacted by my Boss's American counterpart. She asked if I would be willing to deliver a short presentation about one of my projects on today's Team Call.  It's funny how a question is really an instruction isn't it.  I agreed to do it and suggested the material I had at hand and could cover with minimal effort. She replied advising that she wanted me to develop three or four slides and gave an overview of what she wanted on each one … Fuck me! It's not like I have anything else to do with my time.

As a result I spent most of this morning drafting and polishing a short presentation deck. I did manage a slight jibe in her direction when the first lesson learnt was to never take on one of her projects when she heads off for her vacation.

The presentation went well and my Boss advised that I had not only broadened my role, I had gone above and beyond what was expected to keep this turd of a project heading in the right direction. I can't really complain about that can I.

At some point in the day I managed a walk around the Three Miler with the dogs and Hayden made an appearance to lay the coping stones on the new wall. He is starting to get itchy feet and wants to be off to his next job. The result is that 30% and I needed to spend two hours scouring the internet to find suitable slate paving for the steps up to the front door.

I'll be ordering them first thing tomorrow.

A man's word is his bond?

I managed to get my shit together this morning and was sat at my laptop ready for the first call of the day at eight o'clock sharp.

The call was to take on a project from a colleague who is leaving the company and within 30 minutes I had a reasonable high level view of what was required. There are multiple, complex technical solutions that sit at the heart of this project and I will need to understand a whole lot more before I am done with it.

This relatively early morning start seemed to be just what I needed and I approached the day in a much more productive fashion than yesterday. As the morning rolled on I heard the 'phone ring and 30% answer it …

… From the half heard, half conversation it became apparent that it was Hogan Bros of Redditch. 30% had called them earlier about a Defender 110 Station Wagon they had for sale and within minutes I was summoned to see when I could take an hour out of my day to pop over to see it. After checking my calendar it was agreed that I would turn up at two o'clock to check out the car.

The excitement of this obviously the cause of a fair degree of distraction, but I did manage to get my head down and do some work before I eventually clambered in to the Range Rover and headed down the road.

As I drove  through Astwood Bank the heavens opened and there was a tremendous hail storm. I realised that I had no coat and considered the forthcoming experience of looking around a car in a storm. Fortunately the storm subsided and ceased as I approached the dealership.

The Defender was pretty much as described; a 2009 model with 16,000 miles on the clock. It had a couple of minor blemishes on the paintwork, but these are nothing that Chips Away cannot sort out. There is a seat lever missing, but these are a few quid to purchase and there is some corrosion on the alloy, rear view mirror arm. It drove really well and was much more car like than the TD5 I sold last year. The Ford Puma engine was remarkably civilised.

I decided I could certainly live with it and the Salesman offered a part exchange price on the Range Rover that was better than that offered on a brand new car at the weekend … still not great … but five hundred quid better than before. We shook hands on the deal and I left to inform 30%, perform an HPI check and then transfer a deposit to the Seller's account.

Within ten minutes of being home the 'phone rang … It was the Salesman. He informed me that he no longer wanted to proceed with the deal as he didn't want to be stranded with a Range Rover that might be difficult to sell. It is fair to say that I felt somewhat deflated. I kept my cool, avoided using any expletives and ended the call.

It is fair to say that 30% was not impressed either and, as I wandered back to my desk in a state of dejection, I heard her on the 'phone again. This time she spoke to one of the partners, who she politely informed of her displeasure as they had backed out after shaking hands on a deal. The partner said he would look in to his and call back …

… I am guessing that there was some serious arse chewing that happened in the next ten minutes as, good to his word, he called back and told us we could proceed with the deal. He also told us far more about the car including the warranty replacement of the gearbox at 6,000 miles and the fact that they had been servicing it for the past few years.

I am now convinced that all second-had car salesmen are arseholes and got that deposit transferred straight away.

The rest of the day trickled by and, as the afternoon faded in to evening, 30% and i took a walk up to the playing field to throw a ball with the dogs. I am delighted about the new car but nervous of the seller in view of today's reneging experience.

Out of sorts

I just could not find my mojo today.

I don't know what it was, but suspect that it was something to do with the uncertainty over the replacement of the car. I like to be in control, but have to consider 30%'s views and consequently I recognise that she needs to be totally in agreement with whatever decision we make about changing our vehicle. If this means that I have to let her make the decision in her own way then so be it … I know that she will do the right thing in her own inimitable way.

As already intimated, I just could not get in to work today so I finally got a drill and set about modifying the Enfield's rear mudguard. A hole was drilled that should finally allow it to be fixed to the bike's frame and a second hole was drilled for the rear lighting loom to exit the mudguard neatly under the number plate and light mount. I just need to wait for some electrical connectors to arrive and I can finally fit the mudguard, wiring and number plate to the bike.

A walk around the Three Miler was also undertaken and eventually the working day ended. At six o'clock sharp 30% and I rounded up Whiffler and headed out to Puppy Training. I have become increasingly frustrated by Whiffler's behaviour at the class and this week I decided that I would not allow him to interact with any of his classmates and get over excited …

… I am not sure whether it was this disciplinarian approach or the practice session 30% had completed in the garden but his behaviour was much better. He actually managed to perform all of the drills without any major embarrassment.

He is still a little rough around the edges but today he actually looked like he knew what he was doing for once.