It is Friday. It is my last day at work before I have two weeks of holiday to do what I please.* I really should be kicking back, setting my out-of-office and clock watching until it is time to knock off ...
... Let me assure you that there was absolutely no chance of that scenario ever encroaching on my reality.
Today started with an urgent call with my Security SMIs. These idiots had failed to get their deliverable approved and I held a rather menacing fifteens minute call where I made it perfectly clear that I didn't want to know what happened yesterday but was far more concerned about what they were going to do today to put matters right.
My threatening tones must have worked as I had the necessary tick in the box about twenty minutes later.
This improved my demeanour somewhat but there was no way I was going to start winding down until after I had got through the Solution Review call with the VP at midday...
... The call went really well and after thirty minutes he gave us the go ahead to release our costs to the Indians.
I then had the opportunity to check my in-box and noted that the aforementioned team had contacted me four minutes before that call telling me to defer the reviews until I had reviewed my costs and reduced them; preferably by around 60%! **
After five minutes of swearing I politely pointed out that it was too late to rework and they would need to give me direction on scope and baseline changes if the numbers were to be changed. I also advised that a new solution was an option but that would take a few weeks to develop IF we could get SMIs and this would be way too late for their stated target contract signature date.
They promptly replied telling me they wanted a complete new solution ready for the end of next week. In a separate mail they requested another smaller, contradictory solution by end of day next Monday.*** after I had finished laughing my arse off I forwarded the mails over to IM ...
... It's about time he earned his salary.
* provided 30% agrees
** 6% might have been feasible but 60% suggests that the Lead Team don't have a sound grasp on reality.
*** that would be Bank Holiday Monday