For some reason I woke on Sunday lacking my normal vigour, it may have been the Rhubarb Vodka.
So. I did what any sane person would do; made coffee and settled down to knock up a couple of PowerPoint slides for Christopher Robin. This isn't as bad as it sounds as both slides were simply tables that needed updating. At one point I thought I was going to have to make further contact with Luxembourg but then realised that the slide was "Death by PowerPoint" already and that I could have put absolutely anything in the empty cells, no-one would read it. So I found some relevant numbers in a spreadsheet I had to hand, applied a similar growth algorithm that had been applied in other cells in the table and there we had it. The table was completed and I had avoided dealing with what I am discovering to be the most uncooperative Nation in Europe.
Back in the real world we took a trip over to see Bad Man Senior and then went on to collect Tyson & Marauder from chokey. On the way back I saw plenty of road kill and as we trundled along started to knock up portmanteau words to describe them...
... the first I came up with was unphleasant which is an adjective describing the general smell of putrefaction that accompanies anything that has lay in the gutter for more than a week.
That was rapidly followed by blodger which is a noun and is the bloated corpse of a badger after a some unexpected and unwanted Ford Focus.
The came a Splox. This is also a noun and is obviously a splatted fox.
Finally and my personal favourite is a word that is used to describe those bloody streaks of grey fur that regularly populate the rural roads at this time of year. From here on in they will be know as Flabbits!.
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It's funny you should mention them. I recently stumbled across (and when I say stumbled, I mean drove) a Smudgehog, but I also regularly see various breeds of Blurds, the odd Bludger, and once I even saw a Tear... you know, a bit like a Bear only more... Torn.. I have it on good authority that in India, occasionally, after a coming together with a particularly large vehicle, such as a train, they get Smelliefants and that in OZ (wherever that is) they have Bangeroos! Whatever next? Lesser-spotted-squishpecker's ?
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