*%@#@@** !

Do you know, all was going so well. After the past few very hectic months I was winding down quite nicely in preparation for a decent break from work. Then, in the mid afternoon, I was pinged by my Dispatcher. "Bad man" he said "I hear you have nothing to do". A feeling of dark foreboding gathered in my head as he continued ...

... He advised that I was needed to baby mind a project for a few days in the New Year and provided a contact name. That didn't seem too bad. After all, it was only three days. What could possible go wrong?

I eventually got hold of the contact and she provided a few details :-

• She doesn't work Fridays
  (so today was the last day to get any detail from her)
• The project needs to be priced and delivered to the customer on 9th January
  (so I get to look after the fun stages of the project)
• She isn't working the week commencing 31st December
• The solution is not yet fully defined
• She is working two days next week
  (I'm sure I would do two full days on Christmas Eve & the day following Boxing Day!)
• I am to take a solution that is not completed and that I do not know through three Delivery reviews
  (My value add would be an ability to read the slides)
• The contact may be able to complete the necessary slide decks for these reviews
  (the word may had an unnerving stress in our discussion)

Oh Fuck ... oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck!

This is just not achievable. I finish work tomorrow and will therefore turn up in the middle of a metaphorical war zone, knowing nothing, and be expected to work absolute fucking miracles. There is no fucking way that I want to go any where near this as, based on what I have heard, this needs another week or two at best to stand any chance of success. The current incumbent did have the decency to agree that both the project and the situation were a "complete pile of shit".

As afternoon turned to evening I managed to get hold of my Dispatcher and recounted the situation and my concerns.  He agreed that it was nonsense and that this was not what I was expected to do. He advised that I should stand down.

At this point one would think that this was a Happy Ending and that the black clouds had dissipated...

... So why the fuck is my in-box full of meeting invitations and request for me to be at an unknown client site for three days starting on 2nd January 2013.

It is fair to say that I have gone from winding down to wound up in very short order.