I had just settled down on the sofa when the 'phone rang. It was 30% and I was somewhat surprised, as she had literally only just left the house for work about five minutes previously.
At this point I probably need to fill in a little of the back story ... actually, I'm not sure why I need to do that. After all, it is highly likely that there is anyone out there reading this a) because I haven't posted anything in the past four years and b) because if there is anyone out there reading this, they are highly unlikely to have read all of the preceding entries and therefore know anything at all about 30%.
30% has been my partner in crime for the best part of 20 years and the last time I was making regular Journal entries she was employed by The Neat & Tidy Piano Movers, as I still am.
About three and a half years ago she decided, rather abruptly, that she had had quite enough of the Corporate nonsense that pervaded every single working day and was starting to make inroads in to her non working days. She negotiated a mutually agreeable exit plan with the Piano Movers and, it is fair to say, she hasn't really looked back.
She took about a year off and "chilled" before taking a voluntary project management role for a Community project and picking up some part time work in a couple of local shops. She was also an elderly ladies companion for a while, but that role ended when her "lady" was moved in to a Nursing Home and no longer needed 30%'s ministrations and visitations.
I think we were both in agreement that she was not yet ready to embrace the life of a retiree and really did still need something more challenging than selling gin and bananas or visits to Garden Centre Tea Shops to keep her mind active.
The "something challenging" came to pass back in the Autumn of last year when she was offered a job as a receptionist at the local Doctor's Surgery which is literally just over the road from The Pile.
She absolutely loves the job, particularly the social interaction, often with people who aren't at their best. It really does fill her need to look after and care for people and it seems that she is really appreciated after only a few months in the role.
Now that was a bit of a diversion, so back to the 'phone call ... it appears that as well as providing front of house duties at the Surgery, she also has a sideline selling eggs and honey to the staff. She had left a box of eggs on the worktop and she needed me to pop them over and drop them in at the Dispensary for Alison.
Normally I wouldn't have blinked an eye at being asked to complete this minor errand, but the COVID-19 virus outbreak has just been declared a Pandemic and I'm now somewhat wary of heading in to a building whose very purpose is the "go to" place for the sick.*
Now, the advice to the UK public is to call 111 for advise if they think the are showing Coronavirus symptoms. They are specifically advised NOT to visit Surgeries or Hospitals, but I know how bloody stupid some of the British population can be.**
As a consequence I was somewhat less than enthusiastic to visit the local Plague Ship and was bloody certain of using the hand gel on departure.
As for contact with 30%, she's living in the chicken coop until a) she finds a new job, or b) this all blows over.
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* Actually, based on 30%'s anonymised accounts, there are quite a few "regulars" who have nothing at all wrong with them or could self medicate with the most basic of "over the counter" remedies. However this subject is likely to get me on to a full-blown rant about abuse of the National Health Service, so its probably best if I leave it there!** Why the fuck are people stockpiling toilet paper? Its not as though diarrhoea is even one of the fucking symptoms ... perhaps they are going to self-isolate by swathing themselves in it like some modern day mummy?
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