So what exactly does your guarantee cover?

 Matt, our kitchen fitter, arrived early this morning and spent a good couple of hours extracting and testing the new dishwasher. It still failed to operate, so 30% attempted to get support from the manufacturer.  The manufacturer advised that they were more than happy to book an Engineer in for a support visit, but advised that their engineer would not be able to dismantle or re-assemble the kitchen.

Let's just have a think about that. Neff are quite happy to sell an integrated dishwasher, and, allegedly, provide guarantees and warranty the device.  Now let's look at the term integrated". In this context it refers to a device that is built in to fitted kitchen. It is most definitely not stand-alone.  The dishwasher needs to be incorporated in to the kitchen so that it can be connected to water supply and waste pipes before you can use it.

How on earth can Neff dispatch an engineer to deal with a problem on an integrated dishwasher, if the aforementioned engineer is not able to extract the device, resolve the issue, and then return the kitchen to it's original state. It sounds to me like a) their warranty isn't worth anything, and b) they really don't give a shit about their customers.

In the end 30% contacted the retailer; John Lewis. John Lewis were far more helpful, and quite appalled at the response from Neff.  They advised that they would supply a brand new device and install it for a significantly reduced fee ... They are booked in for next Tuesday.

Whilst all of this was going on, I headed out to the garage and continued with my vacuuming and floor tile laying. I can now report that a 20' by 10' rectangle of flooring has been laid out and I can finally go back to polishing my bikes.

We managed a walk across the fields with the dogs in the late afternoon, before I headed off for a Tai Chi class. I really don't know what has got in to Kung Po Fran,* but it was one hell of a workout! Normally I come away from a Tai Chi class with a calm and relaxed aura. This evening I came home thinking, "This is gonna ache later!"

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* The class teacher

It was all going so well

Yesterday I mentioned my notion to insulate the garage floor with interlocking foam floor tiles.

This morning I made a start. The garage is mostly devoted to the storage of my bikes and the ride on lawn mower. Most of these items can be wheeled out of the way as I lay the tiles. but there is a small carpenters bench sat in the front corner of the garage.* It doesn't really belong in the garage, I just never got around to giving it a light refurb and finding a proper home for it.

This morning I manoeuvred it in to the carport and gave the top of it a good clean and a coat of wax polish. I paid particular attention to the wooden threads of the two vices that are built in to the structure of the bench. One of them was quite difficult to operate, and I hoped that a good clean followed by a coat of wax would improve matters.

I am happy to report that the bench vices are now operational and it has found a new home in the corner of the workshop. At some point I will need to knock up a pair of doors for the cabinet.

With the garage now clear of non-essential items I was able to make a start on laying the tiles. Section by section I have vacuumed up the dust, and laid the tiles. I have no idea how resilient they will be, but it is certainly much more comfortable to stand on, and it looks very smart.**

We also had our favourite kitchen and bathroom fitters in residence today. They had been booked to fit the new dishwasher. The job took much longer than they expected, as much dismantling was needed to get the new unit in place. Early this evening we topped up the salt and rinse aid and started the inaugural wash.

The effing thing flashed up an error code and refuses to operate.  Calls to Neff and the fitter followed and the fitter will be back in the morning to check that the pipework hasn't been badly routed. An engineer visit is likely to follow if that doesn't sort it out.

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* I swapped a bottle of Irish Whiskey for it a couple of years ago from this chap.

** I think I will need to be very conscientious about using side stand pucks to prevent it being damaged.

Making myself comfortable

The motorcycle cleaning continues, and today the BMW was turned around to improve the illumination on the side yet to be polished.

At this point I will head off an a slight tangent. I'm sure it will all make sense in due course.  A few years ago The Neat & Today Piano Movers* provided me with a reasonably generous voucher for a nationwide auto accessories store.  The store didn't have anything I particularly needed, but whilst wandering around their store I noticed that they sold foam floor tiles. Having spent many hours lay on the floor cleaning the lower parts of a motorcycle, I saw the benefit of an insulated, slightly cushioned floor covering. The garage was measured and ten packs of floor tiles were purchased, and they have sat on a shelf ever since ... until couple of days ago.

I wasn't particularly enthused about sitting on a cold hard floor, so I grabbed one of the tiles to insulate and cushion my tender arse. It was a revelation. I was warm. It was relatively comfortable and it made cleaning the bike a much more pleasant task.

As I continued cleaning, I wondered why I hadn't laid down the tiles, and thought it might be a good idea. I had also thought of purchasing some motorcycle vacuum storage bags for use over the winter.** I had the vain hope that an insulated floor might warm the garage somewhat, and the slightly more realistic notion that foam floor tiling would make it less likely that the vac bags would be abraded or punctured by the concrete floor.

I suppose I had better get the bikes cleaned first, before I start stuffing them in to enormous polythene bags!

In other news, I heard from BMW Motorrad. Apparently the threaded hole, noticed at the weekend, is normal, and a vital component hasn't rattled loose ... phew! We also dealt with some recent correspondence from our Financial Advisor and I reminded myself that I really must submit my tax return.

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* my penultimate employer

** The garage does suffer from condensation the cold weather, and vac bags are brilliant for keeping a bike dry.  They are a complete and utter faff to use, and there is no way that one would take the bike out for a ride on a dry winter day. It is a case of tuck the bike away in autumn, and leave it there until the spring.

Should I be worried?

Sunday was another day featuring motorcycle polishing. I think you'll need to get used to reports of this activity, as it is likely to continue for many days, if not weeks. I want to put my bikes be as clean as possible when they are put to bed for the winter. It is then a delight to uncover a pristine machine on the first sunny day of spring.

While cleaning the BMW I noticed a threaded hole at the lower end of the rear shock absorber mount. The hole was surprisingly clean considering its location. I would have expected any hole so close to the road and the rear wheel to be quite dirty, even after cleaning. I was suspicious that some vital component had rattled loose, so I took a couple of photos and fired off a technical support enquiry email to the local BMW dealership. I really don't fancy riding a bike without some reassurance that it is complete and safe.  I hope they answer promptly.

In the afternoon we headed out across the fields for a short walk with the dogs. My knee finally seems to be improving. The pain is reduced and my sleep is less disturbed. At this rate I could be doing a circuit of the Three Miler before too long.

I also got around to putting the mouse guards on the hives this afternoon.  The bees have been so active in the recent mild weather that I was reluctant to impede their access to the hives. However, I am aware that mice will be seeking out prime nesting sites as the weather cools, and I don't want the little sods to set up home in any of my hives.

I can report that the lawns are now looking almost presentable after the long dry summer. However, there are a couple of holes where TB has decided to investigate an interesting smell beneath the turf. Now the lawns have greened up these holes stick out like the proverbial sore thumb, and it is time to attend to them while the grass is still growing.

I neatened up one of the holes with a spade to make a rectangular hole about three inches deep. I then watered the hole and wandered off to dig an identical shaped piece of turf from an overgrown area of one of the borders.  The new piece of turf was trod in to the hole and watered liberally. All being well, it should be indistinguishable from the rest of the lawn within a week, or so.

A booking

The motorcycle polishing continued on Saturday morning. Well, it did until just before eleven o'clock when I was chauffeured in to the village to join Bob & Jo for morning coffee.

It seems that Bob and Jo organise a monthly get together for village retirees in the Parish Education Centre.* Each month a guest speaker gives an informative talk or presentation, and tea and cake is consumed. They outlined the subjects of recent talks, and I must admit that I was tempted to join.

Now why had I been invited to coffee with Bob and Jo? About seven years ago I was asked to deliver a presentation on bees and beekeeping to the local Women's Institute.  It was a one-off request and I have never done one since.

However ... there is always a "however" ...  Mummy Sheila was at the original WI presentation and found it really interesting. She is also a member of Bob and Jo's monthly group, and happened to mention my beekeeping talk as a suitable subject for one of their meetings. 

To cut a long story somewhat shorter, I have been booked for April next year to give a repeat performance.

As for the rest of the day, I finished mowing the lawns,**and we were joined by Mr & Mrs Tweedy*** for dinner this evening. It seems that 30% had invited her parents over to see a performance by a local male voice choir. I sensibly declined an offer to join them, and was only required to provide a taxi service at each end of the evening.

As for today's auction lots, they were lovely, but the price was a little too high for us, especially when the commission is added in.  We are after an oak refectory table, and are certain another will come along eventually.

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* A rather pleasant facility adjacent to the church. I attend a weekly Tai Chi class there too.

** except for around the garage and the verges at the front

*** My in-laws, who bear an amazing similarity to Mr & Mrs Tweedy in Aardman animations Chicken Run film.

Quite a busy day

This morning I made a start on polishing the R1250R.

I say "made a start," as I soon found out how many components are now made of plastics rather than steel or aluminium. The surfaces also range from gloss paintwork to matt and satin black, hence a variety of alternative cleaning products will need to be added to those already in the garage.

At this point I have to say that I am delighted with the performance of my motorcycle air dryer. Previously* the bikes would have been left with annoying watermarks that needed to be polished away. The dryer has left the gloss surfaces beautifully mark free, and a delight to shine up with a coat of Autoglym super resin polish.

At lunchtime I popped up to the surgery to have a consultation with the GP about my knee. It has been a month since I injured it and any improvement has been slow.  The GP has booked me in for some physiotherapy and indicated that it may well take a while to recover. He has also indicated that a scan may be needed if there is no significant improvement after physio.

In the afternoon 30% and I headed over to Weston Subedge to get a quote for a pair of hardwood gates, posts and fittings. After much faffing around with suppliers of aluminium gates, we have decided that good old timber is going to be far more straightforward to install, and will definitely be in keeping with the style of the property.

On our way home we took a detour and popped in to Littleton Auctions to take a look at a couple of lots. One of these was a rather nice oak refectory table, and we are likely to be bidding on-line tomorrow.

After a short snooze on the sofa, I dragged the lawn mower from the shed and got the back lawn mowed before deciding that that was quite enough for Friday.

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* I would have left them to air dry, or given them an half-arsed wipe over with a damp chamois leather.  The hot air dryer is fantastic, as it pushes virtually every drop of water from all the nooks and crannies around the engine and bodywork.

I was going to mow the lawn

My plan for today was to mow the lawns.

Obviously I wouldn't be able to start until the grass had dried off a little, so I needed something to occupy my morning.

I have been wanting to clean my bikes for an age, but I know that, once I start, it will occupy me for several days. Despite being retired, it surprises me how challenging it can be to find time for those time consuming projects.

Anyway, I had all morning to myself, as 30% was away to a Coven coffee morning, so I unwound the hose and made a start on the R1250R.  As I became more and more involved in washing my bike, I became less and less keen on mowing the lawns.

To cut a long story short. I got the BMW washed and dried off with my new motorcycle dryer, and then did the same again to the Moto Guzzi Stornello.

I now have two grime free bikes and the next step will be to give them a damned good polish.*

As for the lawns ... they can wait.

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* That'll take a good few days.

Post Script: 

My day wasn't as stress free as one might assume. Half way through cleaning the BMW I heard the dogs barking at the gate. I wandered over to see what the fuss was about and saw a woman videoing the dogs. I jokingly said "no photos please," and ended up on the receiving end of a full blown Karen style rant about how dangerous TB was.

There was no way that I was prepared to be bullied and threatened by a complete stranger whilst stood on my own property, so I politely, but bloody firmly, pointed out that the dog was on my own property and was not harming her in anyway.

She then attempted to imply that I should have the dogs locked up as she had been attacked by a German Shepherd when she was a girl, and my dogs were scaring her.

She then wandered off down the road threatening to report me to the dog warden.

I returned to my bike cleaning and was quite upset by the incident.  About fifteen minutes later I saw her coming back up the lane. I was absolutely prepared for another argument, but she had come back in an attempt to make peace.

I said that I was sorry that she had had a bad experience with a dog, but that was nothing to do with me or TB. I also asked her to consider how she would feel if I had turned up at her house, started taking photos, and then tell her how she should behave there.

She took this well, and after explaining that TB was a rescue, and actually a very friendly dog, she asked if she might meet him. I went and called him from the house and put him on a lead. A successful introduction followed and she now feels able to walk past the house with less concern.

I am pleased that this was an amicable resolution, but she can fuck off and find another walk if she shouts and threatens me because of her fucking insecurities!

How Many!

When we visited the Malvern Autumn Show last month, one of our objectives was to purchase a quantity of daffodil bulbs to plant up in the orchard.

We didn't want anything fancy, as the orchard sward is far from manicured. We just wanted some bog standard daffodil bulbs to dot about and provide a bit of early spring colour next year.

30% advised that there were large bags of bulbs on sale at the local Nursery, so it was agreed that we would get them from there, rather than lug them around the Three Counties Show Ground.

About a week ago my dear wife turned up with the aforementioned bulbs and I noticed, not one, but two huge nets of daffodil bulbs. The labels didn't state the quantity, but my guess was that each bag held close to one hundred bulbs.  For the mathematically challenged, this meant that I needed to plant close to two hundred bulbs.

I do have a bulb planter. It looks like an over-sized apple corer, and is supposed to remove a plug of soil, so the bulb can be inserted to a depth of about five inches. The plug is then replaced ... job done. I did try it in the still dry orchard turf and rapidly decided that I would be suffering from a repetitive strain injury of some description if I used the bulb planter.  I can report that my next action was to hide it in the dark recesses of the potting shed, hopefully never to be found again.

My revised plan was to use a spade to cut around three edges of a small turf, around 1' square. I would then slide the spade under the turf to separate it from the ground. It could then be peeled back. I would be left with a patch of bare earth to plant four or five daffodil bulbs. The flap of earth could then be put back in place and gently firmed in with my boot.

So, for the past couple of days I have been using this method to plant the daffodil bulbs up in the orchard. Thirty five flaps of turf were peeled back, and approximately one hundred and sixty bulbs have been gently inserted in to Mother Earth.

After all of that effort, they had better look bloody amazing in the spring!

In other news, Grubby Jason and his crew turned up on Tuesday morning to kindly repair and repoint the brick edging of our patio.  The hot dry summer had caused the soil under the lawn to shrink back and this had disturbed the edging. I was pleasantly surprised that he was willing to sort out this problem, as most companies would have said, "what do you expect, it's been caused by the weather, not our workmanship." 

I can also report that the dishwasher has died and a new one has been ordered.

Never ever do a good deed

30% had invited Dot 'n Dave over for lunch today.

As we were tidying the house, I finished a miscellaneous job and asked what I could do next. 30% mentioned that there were a couple of prescriptions that needed to be collected from the village surgery, and I accepted this side mission.

In the time to had taken me to change in to a clean pair of jeans, this trip to the local surgery had suddenly morphed into also filling a large bucket with mulched hedge clippings, and taking it, along with half a dozen eggs, to Mummy Sheila.

I filled a builders bucket with mulch, grabbed the eggs, loaded both in to the back of 30%'s car and headed down in to the village. The prescriptions were collected and, a few minutes later, I pulled up outside Mummy Sheila's house.

Imagine my surprise and delight when I opened the car's hatchback and discovered that the bucket had overturned and a several litres of mulch were now liberally scattered around the boot.

I muttered several expletives under my breath, scooped as much mulch as possible back in to the bucket and dumped it and the eggs outside Sheila's back door.

Back at home I spent a good while vacuuming the back of the car, and can now report it relatively free of mulch. 30% came out whilst I was vacuuming and asked if the bucket had overturned.* You will be amazed at the self-control I exhibited by answering with a simple, "yes."

So there you have it. How offering to pop down to the local surgery turned in to a free mulch delivery and car cleaning service. If you are going to do a good deed, make sure you know the full extent of the deed before offering.

Lunch with Dot 'n Dave was great fun. They are both about to head off to Tunisia for a holiday and they were on good form.  This was positive as Dave has recently made the very difficult decision to give up motorcycling.** I absolutely understand how he feels as I am aware, at the age of sixty one, that I probably have little more than a decade of riding left.

It may seem a little cynical but I did express an interest in his 50th anniversary VFR 800. Apparently the original owner had already asked for first refusal if Dave ever sold it, so it remains to be seen whether another Honda will be joining the CBR in the garage.

That was about it for Monday, although I will report that I spent a good while persuading our dishwasher to wash dishes. That does not bode well.

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* She does have a knack of asking redundant questions.

** He is nearly 80.

Does this look like a Tesco Store?

 30% headed out for a wicker weaving course this morning, leaving me home alone.

My reserve of bottled honey was running low, so I spent most of my day processing a couple of batches to keep my little road-side stall supplied.

Let's just ponder on that last sentence, particularly the words "road-side stall." What do those three little words conjure up in your mind?  A large out of town supermarket, with a huge car park, and associated petrol station and cafeteria?  No, road-side stall doesn't suggest that to me either. 

Let's ensure we are all on the same page. My road-side stall is a little wooden stand. It is about 2' high and has a flat surface about 18" by 12". On it is placed a clear, lidded, plastic box. The box usually contains four jars of honey plus an empty jar that has two pound coins in it ... change. There is also a little slate sign that indicates the product and the price.

It's very much a serve yourself, honesty box sort of arrangement. It is not part of a multinational grocery conglomerate that will cater for most of your nutritional needs.

So why on earth does it seem to attract a regular stream of people who ask whether I accept Apple Pay, or have a QR code that they can scan to pay so that they can "do contactless."?  My honey is four quid a jar and I even leave a couple of quid in the box so people only need to bring along a fiver or a tenner to make their purchase.

Today I had a chap turn up in a van and he was quite insistent that I allowed him to buy honey and pay without using cash.  I pointed out that it was cash only, and he responded by listing a list of alternative cashless payment methods. He then went on to ask if I offered a discount if he bought three jars.

I politely pointed out that I didn't offer a discount as my supply was limited, and that demand for my honey often exceeded what my three hives could produce. I eventually conceded to accept payment by Paypal, and gave him my email address. 

He decided to purchase a couple of jars for his mum, paid and showed me his phone screen to demonstrate that the payment had been made.

I wandered inside and my phone alerted me to an incoming email. It was Paypal informing me that the £8 had been received and that they had deducted 53p for using their electronic payment facility.

And people wonder why I only accept cash!

Chilly!

The wettest parts of storm Amy seem to have blown across the midlands during the night, and Saturday was dry, but chilly and very windy.

This morning I headed over to the Cotswold Shooting Ground for a morning of clay shooting with Bubbles and Ben.  The wind made even the simplest targets tricky and I finished up with a score of 41/80. I could crow that I had beaten Bubbles on this occasion, but he was shooting his side by side. If he had been using his over and under he would have wiped the floor with me.

The afternoon included a trip up to the local GP's Practice for our flu jabs. This was very efficient, and we spent more time chatting to an acquaintance outside, than we did registering and baring our arms for the injection.

We then headed over to Mummy Sheila's for a chat and a coffee, before heading home via the Nursery, where we picked up a bag of seed compost.*

Although Saturday was dry, the weather never warmed and we both decided that it was definitely and indoors sort of day. We read, we snoozed, and hoped for better weather tomorrow.

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* 30% has taken some Coleus cuttings. They have rooted in water, and now need to be potted up. The big question is; can she keep them alive through the winter?

Head in a book

Storm Amy was blowing in, and the day was wet and windy.

Both of us were disinclined to go out, unless it was absolutely necessary. As a result I spent most of the day with my head in a book, although I did drive over to Bromsgrove in the early afternoon.

This was a case of killing two birds with one stone, as I needed to pick up a couple of bags of layers pellets from the Feed Store and also needed to get my air rifle re-charged at a nearby gun shop.*

So that was it for Friday, head down in a book, but I am now able to take pot shots at vermin too!

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* When TP was house/dog sitting last weekend, he decided to shoot at a few targets up in the orchard. He was unaware that the air rifle has a pressure gauge, and continued shooting until he had emptied the rifle's cylinder.  He was also unaware that, once the rifle is totally empty, it is impossible to recharge it with the provided stirrup pump. It needs to be taken to a gun shop, where they recharge it from a 250 Bar cylinder!

Waving her off

I briefly mentioned the visitation from my in-laws in yesterday's Journal entry, but covered little else. If I am truly honest it was a very lazy day. We lunched with Mr & Mrs Tweedy and caught up with each others' news. After their departure, 30% and both retired for a monumental nap. I can report that I did manage to wake in time for my Tai Chi session .... but only just!

Today was a day of random little jobs.

At eight o'clock sharp my phone alerted me to the fact that my local motorcycle workshop was coming to collect my CBR 600 today. This came as a bit of a shock, as I was convinced that the bike was being picked up tomorrow.

I hadn't got a clue what time to expect them, so I whizzed outside and extracted the Honda from the garage. I left her sat on the drive, awaiting their arrival, while I carried on with my day.

As I've already mentioned, it was a day of random little jobs. I pumped up the 5 Series tyres, and then wandered in to the workshop where I used a hot air gun and rag to remove the wax and propolis deposits from my syrup feeders. These were given a final wash and left in the sun to dry.

Lunchtime came and went, and there was still no sign of Arden Motorcycles' van.  I gave them a call to ascertain their ETA, and it seems that their computerised reminder had disappeared in to the ether. This wasn't a problem, as my call jogged their memory and they headed straight over.

The CBR was wheeled in to the back of the van and I was left wondering how long it would be before I saw her again. I hope it's not too long. I hope the bill isn't too huge, and I hope the weather is decent when I go to collect her.

In the afternoon we walked the dogs across the fields and then tidied ourselves for the Italian Night at the Redditch Catering College Restaurant.  We had a lovely evening and some rather good food. As is usual, the portions were enormous and we really do need to scale back our consumption of the antipasto.

If ever proof were needed

Last year I made reference to The Black Cow of Doom, a sinister beast whose appearance foretells dread happenings.

Well, this morning I woke, dressed and wandered downstairs. The sun had risen and I made a start on my early morning chores. I picked up the honey box and wandered out to place it on my stall in the lane. As I walked out of the gate I heard a loud lowing from the field across the lane. I looked up and saw her silhouette against the horizon.

Oh my Christ, it was the Black Cow of Doom!

A shudder ran down my spine, as I suddenly remembered that 30% had arranged for Mr & Mrs Tweedy to  join us for lunch today.

If ever proof was needed that the most sinister of bovines foretold dread, this was it.  

My day was going brilliantly, then the BCoD appears and reminds me that my mother-in-law is coming for lunch. Suddenly my day is not going so well.

If you need further evidence, I checked on my Durham Early spring cabbage later in the day, and they are now growing beautifully.  Clearly the BCoD foretells the demise of caterpillars too.

Never underestimate the power of this beast.

Bits 'n pieces

I think that the bees have taken down all of the syrup that they will need, so I headed up to the orchard and removed the feeders from the hives. They were dumped in the carport, and will be put through a dishwasher cycle at some point in the next couple of days, before being put away in the store room.

My plan for today was to mow the lawns at the front of the house, but they needed a few hours of sun, to dry off the dew, before that could happen.

I therefore called Whiffler down from his bed and finished his clip. He now sports the early stages of a Miami clip, and looks quite smart. 

I do have one comment about clipping the old boy.  Whilst being clipped he stands there quite patiently and tends to look quite hunched and tired,* but as soon as I had finished he was jumping around and wanting to play with me. He is an old dog,** but he can still be quite boisterous, just in smaller doses nowadays.

The afternoon started with a trip to Screwfix to pick up a replacement airline. I had noticed a split in mine a couple of days ago, and the 5 Series tyres could do with a few more psi.  I then dragged the mower from the shed and tidied up the front lawn.

With the lawns tidy ish, I headed to the workshop to install the appropriate fittings on the new airline. Unfortunately I was a little heavy handed and managed to split the nut on end of the line. Fortunately Screwfix had another line in stock, and I headed out to pick up the replacement.

I can now report that I have a rather nice new airline hanging by the compressor in the carport and the BMW's tyres still need pumping up.

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* Which basically reinforced my decision to retire him from being a model at the Grooming School

** He's eleven now.

Learn something new every day

My plan for today was to make a start on the lawns. However, at this time of year they need a good couple of hours for the dew to dry off, before they can be mowed.

This meant that I had the morning free to find other things to entertain me. 

The clippers were found and Dog #4, aka The Rat, was summoned from her bed. The next hour was spent giving her an approximation of a Lamb Clip. She looks a lot better, but I am undecided whether to leave her like that, make it a Miami Clip, or shave the whole damned lot off ... Watch this space.

Since I had the clippers out, I also tidied up Whiffler's face and rear end.  He is due for a complete clip, but that was enough for this morning.

The afternoon saw me getting my step count up, with the mower around the lawns at the back of the house. They look much tidier, but two factors made me leave the front lawns until tomorrow.

Firstly my knee is still quite tender, and I am trying to avoid overdoing any exercise. Secondly, after about an hour of mowing, the mower's self propel mechanism failed. I finished the job by pushing the mower around and then consulted the internet to find out likely reasons for the failure.

The cognoscenti on YouTube suggested that the drive belt was likely to have slipped off, and provided a detailed video showing how to put the belt back on.  This all seemed quite straightforward, and, at this point, I should mention that it was a twenty four minute video, of which I watched about four minutes in total.

I soon had the mower upturned on the drive, and deployed my trusty socket set to remove the blade. The plastic cover was removed next and it was apparent that the drive belt had indeed slipped off. I soon had the belt back on the pulley wheel and the mower reassembled.

I now have to ask why the hell someone produced a twenty four minute video of a job that took a first timer less than twenty minutes to complete? I dropped the bloody woodruff key twice, once in to the guts of the mower, and it still only took me twenty minutes!

Usually I am quite a patient person,* but there was no way I was going to watch a tedious chap prattle on for nearly half an hour, when the salient information I needed was divulged in a fraction of that time.

Perhaps I am a lawn mower savant?

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* Please ignore 30% scoffing in the background.

A quick catch up

We been out and about for the past few days, hence the lack of Journal entries.  Here is a quick summary of what we've been up to.

Friday was spent at The Malvern Autumn Show at the Three Counties Show Ground.  We had a lovely time wandering around the floral and vegetable exhibitions and the many craft and retail stalls. We also met up with Hobson and TB's breeder, as she was hosting a Parti Poodles stand at the World of Animals exhibition. She was keen to hear how TB was settling in, and was delighted that everything was going so well.

We came home with a selection of tulip bulbs, and realisation dawned that I should have purchased a load of compost when I visited the Nursery on Thursday. Oh well, we need daffodil bulbs too!

Now on to Saturday and Sunday ...

This weekend we had arranged to pop down to Aston Clinton for an overnight stay with C&S. TP had agreed to come home and look after the dogs and chickens, and he arrived home nice and early. We had time for a quick catch up on his news, before we headed down the M40 towards Thame.

As usual we had a lovely, lazy time with C&S. The afternoon was taken up with lunch and conversation, before we settled to watch the Women's Rugby World Cup.  A bottle of fizz was opened at half time and several more bottles were consumed, along with a fine venison casserole, before we eventually retired to bed, very late.

Sunday morning was, unsurprisingly, unhurried. Many cups of coffee were drunk and a fine English Breakfast, or more accurately, brunch was scoffed before we headed home.

It is fair to say that we were both a little hung over, so Sunday afternoon was mostly taken up with an extended snooze.

I'm certain I will be more productive tomorrow.

Insect pests

 Before you ask, "Yes the wasp sting is still itchy this morning"

Thursday was spent mostly in the garden.  I pushed The Beast up to the orchard this morning and finished mowing up there.  It looks much tidier and the optimist in me is hoping that I won't need to mow it again until next year.

I do have slightly troubling news. The Beast has been a little temperamental on the last couple of times that I have used it.  It has cut out and, initially, been reluctant to start. When it finally does start it will only run for a few seconds before dying again. This suggests that there is either a problem with the fuel or with the carburettor. If the mower is left for ten or twenty minutes it will start and run with no problem. 

Perhaps it is trying to tell me that I should have a coffee break?

Anyway, the morning saw me finish up in the orchard. In the afternoon 30% and I planted out the areas that I cleared at the beginning of the week.  The planting was mostly focussed on dividing up some of our established herbaceous perennials* and using them to fill the gaps. Although, a few impulse buys did find new homes out there too.

I just hope that the weather stays mild and allows the plants to establish before winter sets in. I also hope that we get a little more rain next summer too.

Final job of the day was to whizz up to the nearest Nursery and purchase a spray bottle of insecticide. I then liberally doused my row of spring cabbage ... I still can't see what's eating them but I'm suspicious it may be caterpillars?

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* Heleniums, Michaelmas Daisies

Ouch, you little sod!

Most of my mornings start in much the same way.  If I am up early enough, I will have a leisurely cup of coffee and browse the news headlines, before heading outside to let out the chickens.

This morning seemed to be no different. I exited the back door, grabbed a watering can, and filled it from the outside tap. I was about to go and top up the chicken's feeder when I felt a sharp sting at the back of my neck. I reached around and found a bloody wasp had taken a dislike to me. I dislodged the little bugger, but it was determined to have another go. I managed to swat it at the second attempt and crushed the little bastard underfoot. 

So I now have two throbbing wasp stings on the back of my neck!

As a beekeeper I get sting occasionally. Usually I am wearing a bee suit and gloves and the stings are minor.  The pain subsides within a few minutes and I forget all about them within an hour.  

Wasp stings, on the other hand, are completely different. When I've been stung by wasps previously I have found them to be very painful and I end up with an inflamed lump that can last for a day or two.  I hate the little fuckers. They sting for no reason, and they are a real pest in the apiary.

This wasn't the best start to my day! 

Right, I've finished my rant about this irritating member of the Hymenoptera, and will now recount the rest of the day.

The weather was fine and I was home alone, so I decided to drag The Beast from the shed and attempt to make the orchard look more presentable.  I spent a couple of hours heaving the mower over the uneven ground up there and by lunchtime I had cut about sixty percent of the grass.

The weather was warmer than I thought and I was absolutely shattered when I wandered back to the house for a sandwich.

It will come as no surprise that a snooze on the sofa followed lunch. 

I woke feeling relatively refreshed and decided it was time to attend to item #2 on today's to-do list,

I grabbed my helmet and new motorcycle jacket from the wardrobe and headed out to the garage. I needed to pop over to Arden motorcycles and arrange for my CBR 600 to be collected.* I decided that the R1250R was well overdue for a run, so selected it for my conveyance to Alcester.

I spent a few minutes sorting out a date for my Honda to be collected and then decided that I should put a few more miles on the BMW's odometer.  I had a fast run down the bypass to Evesham before taking the twistier roads back home.  I didn't go far, but I did have fun.  I say it every time,  "I really should ride my bikes note often".

I went to Tai Chi in the early evening before settling down after quite a busy day. 

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* It needs a light recommissioning, including cleaning and refurbishment of the carburettors. I spoke to the chaps at Arden back in July, and we had agreed to defer the work until their workshop was a little less busy.

Fair Game

Yesterday evening 30% mentioned that she had received an odd message on Facebook.  A few minutes later she advised that an acquaintance* had been shooting and had come home with a brace of duck and a few partridge. He then went off to play football and, unfortunately for him, managed to sustain a serious shoulder injury. He was no longer able to dress the birds and wondered if we would like them.

It therefore came as no surprise that my plans for this morning had been upended, and, after refuelling my car and collecting top soil and soil conditioner,** we headed over to collect the birds.

The rest of the morning was spent dressing a brace of mallard and two brace of partridge. I can dress poultry properly, but I am not overly keen on plucking and gutting birds. I therefore took the easy route and simply filleted the breasts of each of the birds ... That is where all the meat is, especially on a partridge!

They are now tucked away in the freezer.

In the afternoon I used the top soil and manure to rejuvenate the areas of the herbaceous border that I cleared yesterday.  I then gave them a good watering and will leave them for a day or two before planting.

I had been gardening near the veg patch and wandered over to take a look at the Durham Early spring cabbage. Something has been munching little holes in the leaves, but I can't identify the culprit. They are netted, so it is unlikely to be pigeons or mice. It could be slugs, but the row of Savoys alongside them is untouched? I scattered a  handful of slug pellets around the young plants, and will be keeping a close eye on them. I hope it's not bloody caterpillars.

It is my aim to finish feeding the bees this week, so I also made up another six litres of syrup during the course of the day and topped up the feeders on the hives. That should be enough now. I'll remove the feeders in a week or two, and let them settle down for the winter. 

That just about covers Tuesday's comings and goings.

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* He was actually the chap who purchase The Pile from us back in 2021.  He has subsequently separated from his wife and taken up with a new partner in the village. I describe him as "an acquaintance" because on the couple of occasions I met him I found him to be an arrogant twat.  The Pile was sold again when his marriage ended, but I don't really know the new owners.

** This is a polite way of saying rotted cow shit 

Mostly gardening

 First task of the day was to finish de-nailing the last few lengths of pallet wood, and stack them in the carport.

We then decided to spend the rest of the day in the garden.

Both of us had found the hot, dry summer quite demotivating from a gardening perspective. However much water was poured on to beds and borders, and in to pots and planters, nothing looked particularly good. Especially when the garden was viewed with a parched, brown lawn in the background. The summer hasn't encouraged us to do more than the bare minimum.

Since the rains returned at the beginning of the month, the garden has totally changed. The lawns have greened up, provided that you don't look too closely, and some late colour has appeared in the beds and borders.

And, it seems, our gardening mojo has returned.

This morning we finally got around to emptying the load of horse manure from the trailer.  This was spread in a deep layer in the veg patch alongside my row of possibly parsnips.  

Whilst we are still in the veg patch, 30% has recently taken down the bean stalks and supports, and has mentioned the possibility of me building another  two raised beds.  I think this is a great idea, as I find them really good for vegetable growing. They seem really easy to weed and water, and have produced some prize winning produce.  I just hope she is either really prompt, or really tardy when it comes to ordering the oak sleepers ... I really don't fancy building the beds in the middle of winter.

Lunch was taken and we headed in to the afternoon.

The plan was to dig up the Heleniums split them and replant them in the border, alongside the path that leads to the orchard.

That was the plan. What actually happened was that the Heleniums were dug up and split, and a number of new plants are now potted and sitting in the cold frame. I then spent the next couple of hours cutting back dead flower heads, digging, weeding and removing plants that are way too vigorous for their own good.*

It seems that the beds will need refreshing with some rotted manure and top soil before the Heleniums can go back in the ground. That can wait until tomorrow.

The final item to report was a trip in to Redditch. 

30% had found a gentleman advertising a little used motorcycle touring jacket for £40.**  It wasn't exactly what I wanted, but at that price it was definitely worth a look.  We soon found the chap's address and the jacket was in "as new" condition. It fitted really well, so cash was handed over and hands were shaken.

It is an Alpinestars touring jacket in a restrained bronze colour way.  It is not made to the same quality as Halvassons and Lindstrands motorcycle gear, but I can't complain for forty quid. It'll do until I find something I really like. 

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* Sedums, Mint and Day Lilies come to mind!

** I have had my Lindstrands jacket for many years and have loved it. Unfortunately it is now well past its best, and is looking quite scruffy. It is definitely due for replacement. I have to say that not a single zipper has failed, but some of the lining has started to come adrift, and the velcro fasteners have abraded parts of the outer jacket. It's a sad goodbye.

Last inspection of the year

 As mentioned yesterday, the first job this morning was to syphon a few litres of water from the Bubble Machine, and replace it with a similar quantity of Severn Trent's finest.

I can now report that The Chatsworth is operating as I originally envisaged, although I reserve the right to add a squirt of washing up liquid if the floor in the greenhouse needs washing.

It was reasonably warm this morning, so I put on my bee suit and headed up to take a quick look in the hives.  There is not a huge amount to report. They are all looking very good, and I have no concerns about their ability to make it through the winter. 

Each of the colonies now has two or three frames of brood,* with the remaining frames** becoming filled with stores. I will feed them a few more litres of syrup over the next week, as each of the colonies has a frame or two that hasn't been completely filled. I didn't see any of the queens, but I could see that they are present and still laying.  There is no longer any need for regular inspections and I will not open up the hives until I need to remove the Apistan strips in a few week's time.***  

Having satisfied myself that the bees are doing well, I turned my attention to tidying the carport. The stone trough had been delivered on a pallet and I spent the rest of the day dismantling it. Generally this involves a lot of effort, but produces nothing more than a large pile of splintered kindling.  However, on this occasion, the pallet came apart quite easily and I now have a decent quantity of reclaimed softwood ... I just need to find a project to use it now.

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* The queen will reduce the size of the colony in preparation for autumn and winter.  Most of the drones have already been ejected from the hives, as they place an unnecessary demand on the colony's stores over the winter.

** A BS National brood box holds eleven frames in total.

*** The feeders will need to be taken off at some point, but that is non-invasive. 

The bubble machine

The weather was forecast to be heavy rain from about eleven o'clock onwards. I planned my day accordingly, and whizzed around the last area of unmown lawn, before the heavens opened. It was a ten minute job, and I soon had the mower tucked away in the shed.

I then cracked on with the job I had been looking forward to ... assembling the new water feature in the ornamental greenhouse.

Conscious that my back has been giving warning twinges recently, I was very careful in the manoeuvring of the heavy stone trough. I soon had it sited in the greenhouse and the pump and grill installed.

Our morning was then interrupted by a visit from 30%'s brother and sister. They had come to collect a bicycle that was going spare, and an hour was spent catching up on each others' news.

By mid morning they had gone and I returned to the little water feature. I soon had it up and running, but a mildly frustrating aspect was that I had to remove the stones a couple of times to adjust the flow rate of the pump.

After a few attempts, I had it running to my satisfaction and I am rather pleased with the sight and sound of the little bubbling fountain.

I know the glass is filthy!

That was the point at which I made a beginner's mistake.  The inside of the trough had a slight film of algae and I decided that a glug of bleach would soon clean that up and keep the water sparkling. I added a little bleach and wandered off leaving the pump running.

About ten minutes later I went back to check on my latest creation and learnt that even an incredibly dilute solution of bleach will foam very easily when agitated ... The top of the water feature was now totally obscured by a mass of bubbles, easily 12" in height. 

We both had a good chuckle at my water feature cum bubble machine and I added drain water feature and replace water to tomorrow's to-do list.

The predicted downpour turned out to be little more than a few light showers, but I had already decided to spend the afternoon with my head in a book. An inaccurate forecast was no reason to change my mind.

This evening we headed over to Evesham to join Bubbles and Bobbyn for a meal at The Orchard Beefeater. Their company was fine, but the meal and service was really not very good. 

I ordered calamari for my starter and was startled to see small gristly looking lumps that were clearly overcooked. I tried one and was horrified to find that the chef had dredged a tablespoon of salt over the dish. It was inedible and had to be sent back.

That basically took the shine off the entire dining experience, and the best I can say is that the sea bass was mediocre, edible, but far from amazing.

So that was Saturday. My bubble machine is an absolute triumph, whilst the dining experience at the Orchard Beefeater is most definitely not!

Mostly Mowing

 This morning I spent a few minutes clipping The Rat's face. 

It makes her look completely different, and it also made me realise that she really could do with her body being clipped too.  However, that would take a couple of hours and I really needed to work in the garden today.

The weather is forecast to get very wet tomorrow, and then become much cooler at the beginning of next week. The recent mild weather and light showers have really helped the lawn's recovery and they really do need a light trim, before the weather worsens.

As a result I spent the day alternating between mowing the lawns and suffering from hypoglycaemic events.

I can report that I did all of the lawns, except for the small area in front of the garage.*  It looks much tidier, and I think the light cuts are encouraging the grass to thicken up.

I can also report that I was very tired after a day striding up and down with the lawn mower.

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* With luck I'll get that done tomorrow morning, before the heavens open. 

Avoidance, not evasion

I forgot to mention that the Tai Chi autumn term started yesterday evening.

As is usual, I was reluctant to go, and then thoroughly enjoyed the session. Our group has a few new members, and it will be interesting to see how many of them stay for more than a few session. And I was delighted to see that JH didn't attend the session.*

Anyway, that was Wednesday, now on to today.

Today was not particularly busy. That is not to say that important things didn't happen, it was just that I didn't have a very hectic day.

First job of the day was to grab the clippers and spend twenty minutes tidying up Hobson's coat. It really didn't take much effort. I did a quick whizz around his rump and then tidied up around the back of his neck. The final job was to change blades and clip his face. 

I'm not exaggerating, it only took twenty minutes and he was no trouble at all. I don't use a grooming table or any restraints. I just get down on the floor, at the same level as the dog, and carry out the clip. I am amazed that the Groomer couldn't finish the job.

Anyway, he now looks quite presentable and I plan to tidy up The Rat at some point this week too.

Today's main event was our annual review meeting with our Financial Advisor.

We spent a couple of hours being taken through our portfolios, recommended changes and tactics for avoiding paying more tax than is absolutely necessary.  I have reached the point where I will need to dip in to my retirement savings in the near future, and the FA has come up with a cunning way to do this whilst limiting tax liability and preserving as many of my Premium Bonds as possible.

Our FA is a lovely chap and he regularly reminds up that we are two of his easiest clients to manage. Apparently we have made some sound financial decisions, ** and don't spend rashly. 

I should also note that TP might do well out of this in a few year's time, as we need to think about minimising his future Inheritance Tax liabilities.

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* I wouldn't wish anything terrible upon her, but I would be eternally grateful if she never, ever attended another Tai Chis session ever again ... Mindful, she isn't!

** More by luck, than judgement!

An unexpected outcome

Today Hobson and Wilson* had appointments at the grooming salon.

It was Wilson's first session at the grooming school, and we were both a little concerned about how he would behave.  I had groomed him at home and he had been very good, but he can be funny with strangers. This was also the first occasion that he had been left in a strange place, since we adopted him in May.

We stressed that the Groomer should call us if there were any problems, and gave them free rein to do as much, or as little, as they felt comfortable with, for his first salon clip.

We left, calling in at the supermarket, before heading home.

The rest of the day was spent pottering in the garden.  30% was focussed on cleaning and tidying in the Ornamental Greenhouse, whilst I attended to a niggling problem with the lawn at the back of the house.

I have to be honest and say that none of the lawns look amazing after three months of drought, but the back lawn had a French drain installed last December, and turf above the drain has not recovered.  The seed sown over this drain didn't stand a chance in the parched conditions, and we currently have a narrow track of bare earth and dead grass crossing the lawn.

This afternoon I liberally scattered grass seed along the route of the drain. A light covering of compost was sieved over the seed, and firmed down. I then gave the seed a good water and now I just need to let nature take its course.  The weather conditions are perfect for grass growth. The soil is still warm, and the frequent showers should provide perfect conditions for germination. I am hoping to see signs of recovery in the next couple of weeks.

The new French drain isn't the only problem. The lawn in front of the Ornamental Greenhouse is in even worse condition. I can see me having to fence it, to keep off the dogs, and then re-seed it.

Anyway, apologies, I seem to have wandered slightly off topic ... back to dog grooming.

Late in the afternoon 30% received a phone call. It was the Groomers calling to advise that Hobson and Wilson were ready for collection. I could tell, from the half of the conversation I heard, that there was more news than just that.

It appears that Wilson was an absolute star. He was described as "a complete gentleman" and was no problem to groom.  Hobson, on the other hand, was, apparently, a complete pain in the arse, and it seems that they had to abandon grooming him. 

Now this came as a complete surprise as he has been groomed there many times before. He can wriggle a bit when his legs are being clipped, but generally he is fine. The groomers had actually taken a video of his behaviour for us to see how bad he was.

In the thirty minute drive in to Stratford we imagined all sorts of horrors, but were at a loss to understand what had happened. I have groomed Hobson on a few occasions and he is no problem at all. And his temperament is wonderful. He is the most loving dog we have ever owned and we were totally confused by the news.

When we arrived we saw that Wilson looks absolutely fantastic in his new clip, whilst Hobson had been washed, dried, brushed and his clip was probably about eighty percent complete. We were shown the video and neither of us could really see what the fuss was about. It seems that he was pawing at the groomer when she walked in front of him. There was no growling or anything like that. He was just playfully pawing at her while she tried to clip him.  We agreed that we would groom Hobson at home from now on, and Wilson was booked in for a solo visit in six week's time.** 

On the way home we both agreed that Hobson hadn't really been a problem dog. Without doubt, the trainee will encounter far worse in their grooming career. We have heard of dogs that need to muzzled and tranquillised before they can be groomed. Hobson was being playful and just needed a firm hand.

Oh well, it looks like three of our dogs will be having a daddy haircut from now on .. and a trainee groomer is in for a few surprises in their chosen career.

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* We may well have found a suitable alias for Wilson. He was going to be called Mummy's Boy, as he showed a strong preference for 30%'s company, and was never far from her side. But he has recently seemed to have realised that I am not as unpleasant as he initially thought, and has taken to sitting at my feet, or even curling up beside me on the sofa. Traitorous Bastard, or TB for short, may well be his new epithet.

** Remember that Whiffler was retired after his last grooming session.

Restocking the stall

My objective for today was to get another batch of honey bottled and ready for sale.

It's not a particularly arduous task, but it is time consuming. Each batch of honey will take a couple of hours to clarify in the hot water bath, and I tend to process two batches on each occasion. This will yield about eleven pounds of honey,* which should keep the stall stocked for a couple of weeks.

The preparations include sterilising jars and making sure that my work area is clean and tidy. It is no surprise that I don't achieve much else on a day like today.

Previously I used to bottle all of my honey immediately after extracting it from the frames. This seemed to be quite efficient, but I found that the crop would often crystallise in the jars. Set honey doesn't seem to sell well to my clientele, so I found myself struggling to clarify honey that had already been bottled.

Bottling a batch every couple of weeks seems to be the best way forward. I rarely have problems with crystallisation and honey is far easier to bulk store in lidded, food safe buckets. 

So that was my Tuesday, honey bottling interspersed with general pottering ... actually I stuck my head in a book whenever I could,** although 30% and I did head out for a short walk with the dogs in the afternoon.

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* 22 x eight ounce jars.

** It is interesting that as soon as autumn arrives I tend to read again. All summer my reading has been limited to news websites, the New Scientist, and general crap on the internet. Now the leaves are turning I find time for a good, and regular, helping of fiction.

A stocktake

 I didn't really have any plans for today.

I knew that I needed to top up Hive #2's feeder this morning, and I guess that nudged me towards a day focussed mostly on beekeeping.

I have been thinking about increasing the number of hives I have next year, and had assumed that I had enough equipment. For some reason I decided to check my beekeeping equipment to see whether this assumption was valid.

Over the course of the morning I checked brood boxes and supers and determined that I could, potentially, have up to eight colonies.  A check on feeders and other paraphernalia made me realise that six was a more realistic target.*

As I worked my way through my inventory, I finally got around to cleaning the pile of hive components that had been abandoned in the carport at the end of 2023.**  This included an hour spent on my hands and knees with a hot air gun, cleaning the wax from a pile of queen excluders.

By the end of the afternoon my equipment was tidied away and a shopping list had been drawn up, detailing a few essential items.

I'm feeling quite optimistic about my plans for expansion.

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* It is necessary to have spare hive components in case of damage, the need to house a swarm, perform splits and shook swarms etc.

** 2023 was the year that I had a very bad back. I was not able to inspect my colonies and they all failed. Towards the end of that year, as my back improved, I managed to get up to the orchard and take a look at the apiary. I was presented with a very sorry scene, moth eaten frames, crumbling comb, hive floors littered with dead bees.  A dead colony is a very sad sight. Six dead colonies was even worse.  I burned the wax moth infested frames and stacked the empty hive components in the carport. They have sat there until today.

"The Chatsworth"

Over the past few weeks I have been pulling together the components for a water feature.

This "feature" will take the form of a stone trough, with a low fountain bubbling through, and over, a layer of water rounded pebbles. The trough, pump and mesh to support the pebbles have all been sourced from eBay, and the pebbles have been turned up by the plough in the field upslope from the cottage.

This morning I amused myself by trimming the plastic grid to fit the shape and contours of the stone trough. It took a while, and several trial fits, before it slotted perfectly inside the rim of the trough.

I couldn't restrain myself and quickly filled the trough with water, located the pump and installed the plastic grid. A dozen or so pebbles were arranged above the pump and The Chatsworth* was powered up for the first time.

I am absolutely delighted with my little fountain. It looks and sounds delightful, with the water gently splashing over the pebbles.

We really can't wait to get it installed in the Ornamental Greenhouse.

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* This inaugural model is named in honour of the superb fountain at Chatsworth House in Derbyshire.  I bought a 1,000 litres per hour pump, and, after a trial in the utility room, realised that it needed to be adjusted to its lowest setting, to avoid wet ceilings and flooded accommodations. 

Nothing, Zero, Nada

Saturday didn't see much happen.

I headed over to Childswickham for a morning of clay pigeon shooting. I had a pleasant enough time, but my shooting was well off target. 

In the afternoon we headed over to Redditch to make a few purchases from a retail park, and, as a result, I am now hoping for a great night's sleep on my new pillows.

That's it. My knee is improving, but still bloody painful, so I am spending as much time as I can sat with my head in book.

Let's do lunch

I had invited Grandad Jack over for lunch today.

I hadn't seen the old bugger for a few months and felt it was time to catch up on his latest news.  30% is also very fond of the curmudgeonly old sod, and hadn't seen him in an age, so she too was keen to catch up.

Now Jack has fairly recently been given the all clear after surgery and chemo/radio therapy following the discovery of a tumour in his neck. He has made a fantastic recovery, but still has difficulty with eating solids.

Under normal circumstances I would have prescribed a home cured bacon sandwich, which will heal anything, but I was aware that Jack is not yet ready for anything that substantial.

I therefore got busy in the kitchen this morning and cooked up a pan of cream of tomato soup. It was well seasoned with plenty of garlic and black pepper, and a heavy handed glug of double cream added a richness to the tasty soup.

Jack turned up at lunch time and we had a splendid few hours chatting and catching up on each others' news. The soup was a big hit, and he even went for a second helping.

We made sure he went home well provisioned, sending him off with another portion of soup, eggs, honey and a jar of crabapple jelly.

When he sent a WhatsApp thank you message, he advised that he had scrambled a couple of our eggs and had them with a slice of hot buttered toast for his supper. He actually managed to eat the toast, which was the first time he had eaten bread since his operation.  We were both quite touched that he attributed this dietary milestone to the quality of our eggs ... Bless him!

So that was my Friday.

I also found time to wander up to the orchard and remove the obsolete brood box from hive #2.  There were still a few bees clustering in the brood box, so my use of a clearer board was, at best, only partially successful.  I shook the remaining bees in to the brood box and reassembled the hive with a feeder positioned above the crown board.  I made up about four litres of syrup and poured this into the feeder towards the end of the day.

Bailey Frame Change completion

It is now twenty one days since I relocated hive #2's queen bee to the upper brood box as part of the Bailey Frame Change process.  All of the brood in the lower brood box has now hatched, which means that the lower brood box, with its dirty old comb can be removed, without impacting the number of bees in the  colony.

The first thing I needed to do was to place the upper brood box on a new hive floor, and then check through the frames. There were plenty of bees and stores, and the brood nest now seems to be spread across three frames. I didn't see the queen, but the presence of brood indicates that she is in there and laying. 

Next I removed the lower, now obsolete, brood box from the hive stand, and replaced it with the brood box that houses the queen. I now had two options. I could attempt to shake the bees from the obsolete brood box in to the chamber with the queen, or use a clearer board to separate the two brood boxes, and hope the bees move down out of the obsolete box overnight. 

I went with the latter option, and will see whether it was effective tomorrow.  I will also start to feed hive #2 tomorrow, once I complete the consolidation to a single brood box.

I then went on to check hives #1 and #3. Both hives are in great condition. The bees look really healthy and have plenty of syrup stored for the winter. They are already starting to cap off the stored syrup, which indicates that every thing is heading in the right direction. I spotted both queens, and I also noticed that almost all of the drones have now been excluded from the hives ... the bees know that the summer is over.

During this morning's Apiary inspection I heard Phil the Postie sound his van horn. Phil is, understandably, a little nervous of Wilson,* and this is his signal that he has post for us. On hearing the horn I started to jog from the Orchard to the front of the house. En route I managed to twist my knee and ended up limping up to take receipt of the parcel.**

I don't know what I've done to my knee, but it is really bloody painful. I spent the remainder of the day resting the injury. The knee has been strapped and plenty of painkillers have been consumed.  I abandoned any thoughts of fishing with Bubbles and did little other than read.

I really hope it is not as severe as it feels at the moment.

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* He is a lovely dog, but is incredibly territorial. Let's just say that he is a big softie if you know him, but a snarling, leaping maniac if you're a stranger!

** It turned out to be some Knapweed seeds purchased as a gift for 30%

Rain stopped play

First job of the day was to pour a couple of litres of syrup in to the feeders on hives #1 and #3.  We both then ventured in to the vegetable garden. 

30% continued with the removal of the runner bean vines, which were cut down and taken up to the orchard for composting. The bamboo teepees were dismantled and tucked out of the way in the carport roof space. 

I grabbed a hand fork, a bucket and a kneeling pad, and set to weeding around the leeks and back towards the area, recently occupied by the beans.  As we did this the breeze freshened and dark clouds appeared on the horizon.

Showers were forecast and I really didn't fancy being on my hands and knees in the veg patch in a cloud burst. I did, however, really need to get my Spring Cabbage planted out. These had been sown at the end of July, and were just about ready to be put in the earth alongside my row of Savoys.

I grabbed a watering can, a trowel and a length of string, and soon had a new row marked out. I only had ten Durham Early plugs to plant out, and forty minutes later they had been firmed in to the soil. 30% assisted with getting the row netted,* and now I just need to keep them watered and weed free over the coming months.

The showers arrived in the early afternoon and were quite frustrating.  They didn't produce a great amount of rain, but they made everything too wet to continue weeding or mowing. Actually that's now quite true ... 30% persuaded me to take the Beast up to the orchard and mow over the runner bean vines. I can report that these have been chopped in preparation for composting and I also had a trial mow of the orchard.**

This evening we headed out to the Palace Theatre in Redditch for a comedy club night.  We had a great time and were surprised and delighted to discover that the star act was Ed Byrne.  We have seen Ed on many occasions over the years and never tire of his anecdotes.

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* The butterfly numbers are now declining, but the bloody pigeons will destroy them, given the chance.

** It looks a little better. I need a dry couple of days to get it tidied up before the wet weather sets in.

Medical Stuff

 After several months of mostly waiting,* today was the day that 30% had her consultation with her Neurology Specialist.  It was also the day that I needed to visit the dentist's to have a crown fitted.

Basically it was a day of medical stuff.

30%'s appointment wasn't until late in the morning, so I spent the first couple of hours pruning the ornamental crab apple in the front garden. I had just about finished, when it was time to tidy myself up and head over to the hospital with her ladyship.

The consultation was informative, but, unfortunately, not definitive.  Medications were revised with the aim of countering some of her symptoms, and she has been referred for surgery to deal with her severe carpal tunnel syndrome. A course of physiotherapy has also been proposed. 

It seems that her problems may well relate to a birth defect, and she has been referred on to Specialists at the Royal Orthopaedic Hospital in Birmingham.  There is no guarantee that the ROH will proscribe further treatment, so it seems she is on another waiting list, and, in the meanwhile,  just needs to manage her symptoms.

This might sound rather negative, but we actually see it as positive. There were no mentions of tumours or new conditions. It seems likely that this stems from a condition that she has had all of her life, and management of symptoms may well be the way forward.

The consultation was obviously the most significant new of the day.

We returned home, and I then headed off for my dental appointment. I stopped off at the feed store on the way home, and picked up a bag of layers pellets.

I arrived home close to three o'clock, had a late lunch, and then had a snooze on the sofa.

The late afternoon was spent moving the crab apple prunings to the bonfire in the orchard and mowing the grass in front of the garage.

As afternoon became evening we headed down the lane with the dogs for a rather pleasant walk.

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* The wait for Nerve Conductivity tests and an MRI scan were ridiculous, especially taking in to account the fact that I was given an MRI in less than a fortnight when I was checked out for possible prostate cancer earlier in the year.

Getting my steps in

After yesterday's brief outing with the mower, my plan for today was to get the lawns mowed at the front and back of the house.

I needed the early morning dew to dry off, so it was convenient that 30%, first, wanted to drop off a roll of fabric and some seat cushions at an upholsterer in Cropthorne.

This little run out, actually consumed most of the morning, as we had stopped off at Goll's Nursery on the way home. 

I did, however, find time to run the mower around the back lawn before we had lunch.

The afternoon saw me out at the front of the cottage dealing with the front lawn. I am really pleased at how a couple of weeks of light showers and quick run over the lawns with the mower has made the place look a lot tidier.  The harsh, hot, dry Summer had not been kind to the garden!

So, that was Monday. I seemed to walk a long way without going anywhere, but the garden now looks cared for. 

The problem is that I keep seeing little jobs that need to be attended to ... The ornamental crab apple at the front really does need pruning.

It's finally growing again

Saturday wasn't entirely taken up with showing veg. I did find twenty minutes to put feeders on Hives #1 and #3. I poured a couple of litres of syrup in to them, and closed up the hives.* 

So that was yesterday, now on to today.

This morning I did something that I haven't done for months** ... The recent showers have had an amazing effect on the lawns and the brown, parched turf has greened up incredibly quickly.  They haven't completely recovered. There are still brown patches, and the new growth is quite thin, but they look a lot better than they have since late Spring.

I decided it was time to drag out the lawn mower and tidy them up a little.  I am hoping that a light trim will encourage the grass to shoot from the base, and thicken out the sward.

I didn't get very far with my mowing, but I did manage to tidy up the grass paths around the tomato greenhouse and veg patch. I also finally pruned the cooking apple tree that sits by the gateway to the orchard.  

I have had to duck under  a couple of branches every time I head up to check on the bees or chickens, and now we are getting rain I get a regular drenching from the foliage too.  It's a little thing, but my walk to the orchard is now much easier.

Late in the mooring I got a call from the Opticians. They advised that my varifocals were ready for collection, so I abandoned the mower and headed in to Alcester to pick them up.

So that was my morning. Amongst all of that, I also managed to make up another four litres of sugar syrup, which will be fed to the bees, once it has cooled sufficiently.

TP arrived just before lunch for a flying visit. He had spent Saturday in Nottingham with his mother, celebrating her birthday, and had decided to call in for lunch and a catch up. We had a lovely couple of hours exchanging news and we even managed a walk down the lane with the dogs.  

He headed home midway through the afternoon and we returned to our Sunday pottering. 

I checked the two hives and both colonies had each taken two litres of syrup down in to the hives. I added another couple of litres to each feeder and made a mental note to buy more sugar.

As the afternoon turned to evening, our thoughts turned to supper. 30% really fancied tomato soup, so I was persuaded to don my virtual apron and knock up a batch of soup.

So that was Sunday, I see a lot more mowing over the next few days!

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* It's not good practice to disturb the colonies too often, so this activity was done swiftly, with minimal impact on the bees.

** I checked, and the last time I mowed the lawns was on the 10th June. That was the back lawn. I hadn't mowed out the front since the 25th May.

Village Show Results

 Here's how we did at the Village show earlier today.

For reference all entries are made in 30%'s name for a couple of reasons. Firstly joint entries are not permitted and secondly there is a Challenge Cup for the most points scored by a female entrant. We stand more chance winning in this category than going up against "Fred" who wins the corresponding male category with ease every year.

First Prize

• 3 Carrots, any one variety
• 3 Beetroot, any one round variety
• 5 Apples, any one cooking variety
• Runner Beans, 6 pods

Second Prize

• 3 Beetroot, any one round variety 
• 6 eggs

Third Prize

• 3 Carrots, any one variety
• Dish of any other fruit, Quince
• A jar of honey
• A specimen Cactus or Succulent
• 5 Apples, any one dessert variety

Highly Commended

• 5 Tomatoes (not cherry), any one variety
• 5 Apples, any one cooking variety
• A jar of honey (set)

Silverware

• None this year, but
• 2nd in the most points earned in the fruit classes,
• 2nd in the most points earned by a female competitor

It is worth mentioning that the show organising committee have brought in new judges. In previous years it had been noted that none of the baked good or preserves were tasted as part of the judging process. This was somewhat exasperating, as how on earth can you judge food solely on appearance?

This year the judges tasted the food entries and provided a note for each entry scoring it on taste, texture, appearance etc. Eggs are now subject to freshness testing, and inspection of the contents too.  This is a much needed improvement to the show.

Both entries of honey were scored at 95/100, and it was commented that they had good flavour. It was also remarked that the set entry had a "good set".

We also entered two jars of crabapple jelly. Neither won a prize, but they were scored at 76/80 and 78/80. I'm really pleased with that, considering it was the first time I'd ever made a jam.  The crabapple jelly with cinnamon was the entry that scored higher, with the comment, "good level of cinnamon - not overpowering"

The "Horti" Show

Saturday was taken up with the village Horticultural Show.

We were both up early and, after a quick breakfast, were out in the garden selecting the produce that needed to be exhibited as fresh as possible.

30% took care of the runner beans, whilst I selected the carrots and beetroot. 

It has been a tough year for growing fruit and vegetables and we both struggled to find matching examples of good quality produce.  I think it's fair to say that neither of us expected to win any prizes, and I did question why I was getting so stressed over a little village show!

Shortly after nine o'clock we headed up to the village hall, and spent the next couple of hours setting out our exhibits and catching up with friends and acquaintances.  

Despite the hard growing conditions, there were a huge quantity of entries, and exhibitors were struggling to find space on the show tables for their produce.  We were also reassured that our produce wasn't, perhaps, as poor as we originally thought.

We headed back home at eleven and left the Show Judges to do their worst.

Lunch and a post-prandial nap followed before 30% and I headed back up to the village hall to see how we had done.

It is fair to say that we had done much better than we had expected. Many of our entries had prize cards, and this made our efforts and stress seem worthwhile.

After checking our results we had a lovely time wandering around the hall chatting with friends and fellow exhibitors. I'm not a particularly social person, but I really did have a fine time congratulating, commiserating and talking about the experiences of growing veg in such a hot, dry Summer.

I suppose I had better start planning our 2026 campaign!

Bees & The Horticultural Show

If ever there was a sign that Summer is over, today's Journal entry provides the evidence that Autumn is finally here. 

Today was always going to be focused on preparing the hives for the Winter and selecting our entries for the village horticultural show, which takes place tomorrow.  Throw in the general stuff that needs to be done around the house and garden, and the probability of an early afternoon snooze was plummeting.

First job of the day was to finish installing the second curtain pole in the living room.  Within an hour I had the pole resting on its brackets, and I'm reasonably pleased with the job.  I can see 30% angling for us to order another three poles for the dining room in the very near future.

Next on my list was a wander up the orchard to check on the hives. We are approaching the end of the beekeeping season, and it is time to get the colonies in order for the coming Winter. This means that I need to ensure that they are well fed and in good health.

Hives #1 and #3 are both very similar. The queens were seen, and each hive has about four frames of brood. I gave each colony a Varroa treatment,* which will remain in the brood box for the next six weeks. I also separated the super from the brood box with a clearer board.  The bees should vacate the super overnight, and I can remove the supers from the hive tomorrow. I will then start to feed these colonies with sugar syrup.

Hive #2 seems to finally be heading in the right direction. It is now fourteen days since the queen was relocated to the upper brood box, and she now has eggs, larvae and capped brood on two frames. I added another frame of drawn comb alongside the brood nest; in the hope that the queen would expand her nest on to that frame too. A couple of strips of Apistan were inserted between the frames to treat any Varroa, and I then went on to check the lower brood box. It came as no surprise that the quantity of capped brood in that part of the hive is diminishing, as the queen has not laid there for over a fortnight.** 

I am reasonably pleased with the frame change and am looking forward to removing the lower brood box and Bailey board at next week's inspection. The hive will then be returned to a more standard configuration, and I can then start feeding colony #2 as well.

After finishing with the bees, I stayed in the orchard and attended to our Wisteria. 

We only planted it at the beginning of May, and it has grown at least three feet in height. This new growth needed to be tied in to the supporting apple tree trunk.  The plant has done really well, despite the drought, as I have conscientiously given it the dregs from the chicken's drinker every evening. It's only been a couple of pints, but it has worked wonders!

The remainder of the afternoon and early evening was spent selecting exhibits for the Autumn Horticultural Show. It amazes me how many apples, damsons and tomatoes need to be picked in order to select an entry of five or six matched specimens in perfect condition.

We'll be at it again tomorrow morning, as certain items of produce need to be as fresh as possible for showing. I must admit that I wonder why I do it. I get quite stressed about selecting the perfect entry, and quite forget that it is only a little village show. They don't even have prize money!

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* Apistan strips

** Worker brood takes twenty one days to develop from egg to adult worker bee. Hence, the Bailey Frame change has a twenty one day cycle, once the queen has been relocated to the upper brood box. At the end of twenty one days, all of the brood in the lower box will have developed and hatched, and the box and combs can be removed. The brood nest, with young at all stages of development, is now present on fresh comb in what was the upper brood box.

DIY and a spot of culture

First job of the day* was to make a start on fitting the second curtain pole in the living room.

The old plastic curtain track was screwed to a wooden batten, that had been fixed above the window aperture. I removed the old track and carefully examined the batten.  I was well aware that incautious removal of the batten could result in large chunks of plaster falling to the ground. I discovered that it seemed to be held with three nails, and judicious use of a multi tool soon had it removed, without any drama.

A few moments with a chisel and a claw hammer had the remaining pieces of batten and nails removed and I was able to plan my next steps ... My next step was actually a trip in to Alcester for some Polyfilla, as the area behind the batten needed a skim of filler to tidy up the top edge of the window recess.

On my return, I soon had the filler applied, but couldn't really progress any further, until the filler set hard. I did manage to fit the central bracket for the window pole, but that was it for the day.

In the afternoon I completed another little DIY job. A few days ago I fitted a rainwater diverter to the down pipe from the garage roof. The installation of the diverter had made the down pipe a little wobbly, so a new pipe retention clip was screwed in to place ... Finally a job has been completed! 

This evening 30% and I headed in to Birmingham for a lecture at the Symphony Hall. Professor Alice Roberts was giving a lecture about her recent book; Domination.  We spent a fascinating couple of hours listening to Doctor Roberts outline how a small religion from the Middle East came to dominate Europe. It was absolutely fascinating, especially the development of the organised Christian religion alongside the culture and architecture of the Roman Empire.

Shall I ask for the book for Christmas?

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* ignoring the fact that I had already fed and let the chickens, and placed the box of honey jars out on the road-side stall

Green Energy?

I felt that I had earned a rest day after yesterday's problematic picture rail erection. Mind you, at my age, perhaps I should expect problematic erections?*

Anyway, moving swiftly on, we had been invited over for lunch with "H" in Worcester today. We headed over midway through the morning, and were delighted to find that "B" was also at home. Daughter "K" and granddaughter "O" made up the rest of the party, and we had a splendid time chatting, eating and amusing little "O".**

And that was the main news for today.

We headed home just before three o'clock, and both of us had a long snooze after all the excitement.

Now I appreciate that this isn't the most exciting Journal entry, so I thought I'd introduce you to an idea I've been mulling over for  a while.  

Green energy sources are worthy ideas to explore, and I think I may have come across a source for small scale power generation. Let me explain ...

30% loves fresh, unsliced bread. We have a bread maker and we both enjoy the lovely loaves it makes. However, these loaves need to be sliced.  My dear wife will regularly  recount the tale of her dear departed grandmother, who would butter the loaf before cutting away the thinnest of slices. Apparently the woman was a demon with a bread knife.

Unfortunately my good woman did not inherit the bread slicing genes of her paternal grandmother, as is evidenced by these Journal entries.

I have frequently joked that her loaf abominations would have her Gran "turning in her grave," and this gave me the idea for a micro power station. 

If I video streamed an array of poorly sliced loaf pictures in to late Grandmother's resting place,*** and linked up some form of dynamo to her, now rotating, body, I have the basics of a small scale energy factory. I reckon that I could use the headstone to house the necessary control mechanisms, and then all I need is a discrete power cable feeding in to the National Grid.

It's just an idea at this stage, but I think it has potential. One simply needs to identify the subject matter that would cause a willing volunteer to rotate post mortem.  Then design suitable video material to initiate the rotary motion, and you're away. 

Obviously we need some form of pre-death authorisation to generate power from a dearly departed relative. I was thinking of something along the lines of an organ donor card?

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* Apologies, if you found that to be in poor taste. 

** "O" is three towards the end of the year and is a real poppet! She is an absolute delight to be around.

*** Obviously in a tasteful and respectful manner!

A love/hate relationship

My "not five minute job" continued this morning.

Yesterday I got the bracket positioning worked out, and had constructed the wooden spacers needed. Today I could procrastinate no further ... It was time to drill some holes. 

Now these curtain poles are heavy,* and need to be fixed firmly to the wall. I offered up several prayers to the Gods of DIY, to ensure that my drill bit would find sold brick, rather than crumbly lime mortar.

It seemed that my petitions had been answered when I saw a trickle of red brick dust emerge from the drill hole. It would be a solid fixing. I then followed up with a pilot hole in to the oak beam. Everything was going beautifully, and I started to screw the bracket to the wall.

The screw went in to the brickwork and seemed to be holding well, so I started on the second screw in to the oak beam. I'd been careful to drill out a pilot hole and, again, the screw went in well. With a couple of turns of the screwdriver left to go, I felt the screw snap ... Fuck!

I removed the bracket and checked out the situation, hoping that there was a sufficient length of screw protruding, for me to gain purchase with a pair of mole grips. As I removed the bracket and spacer block I discovered that my supplications to the DIY Gods had been insufficient. The screw had snapped off flush with the surface of the beam. How on God's earth was I going to get the damned thing out!

I considered my options which seemed to be 1) relocate the bracket, or 2) attempt to remove the screw from the beam. Option two was always going to be the preferred option, as I had spent an age ensuring that the pole was perfectly positioned; taking account of the curtain length and window frame proportions. I then spent a happy few minutes exploring whether a screw extractor would be of any use.**

In the end I realised that I had little option but attempt to drill out the screw. I will freely admit that I was doubtful of any chance of success. I was going to attempt to drill down the centre of a 5mm diameter length of metal with a 2mm diameter drill bit.  The most likely scenario was that the drill bit would skip off the broken end of the screw and drill in to the beam instead.

I positioned the bit with care and slowly started to drill. I frequently checked my progress and, when necessary, revised the angle of attack in an attempt to remove the obstructing screw.

After a few minutes, I realised that I was actually making headway, when I saw a little pile of metal swarf start to accumulate outside the hole. Clearly the Gods had had their fun with me, and had now decided to reward my perseverance.

It took all of the morning, but I eventually got the brackets fitted. The pole was dropped in to place and 30% took care of ironing and hanging the curtains. 

I must admit that I get an incredible feeling of satisfaction from overcoming the challenges of working on an older property, doing a job properly, with attention to detail. I am well aware that a tradesman would have either charged me a fortune, bodged it, or both! 

It has taken me a day of effort*** and a plethora of tools from the workshop. It has been stressful, and there has been a lot of swearing, but I am very pleased with the outcome.

What I haven't yet mentioned, is that the room has two windows. The next one is larger, and has a completely different set of challenges to be taken in to consideration ... 

... I do have a love/hate relationship with old properties!

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* 25mm diameter iron poles with ball end finials

** My research suggested that they are only any good if the screw head is still attached i.e. when the cross head or slot is severely damaged, making removal challenging.

*** Not counting the time I put in to planning the job, and how I would deal with the likely pitfalls.

Post Script: 

I should also mention that our afternoon included a visit from local artist, JH and his lovely wife S. They had come to scrump some damsons from one of our trees for jam making. After helping them pick a few kilos, we all retired to the patio, and had a splendid couple of hours chatting, drinking tea and eating 30%'s home-made apple cake.