Arse Cancer

It is a joke in this house that any extremely irritating, and I mean EXTREMELY IRRITATING, person may be cursed with arse cancer.  Obviously this is not a serious wish, but just a way of reducing the level of extreme annoyance that some people trigger.  I can't think of anyone at the moment, but I am sure that if I thought hard enough I might find a global political figure towards whom this curse might be appropriate to launch.

This ridiculous and, possibly, bad taste joke came about when I was suspected of having prostate cancer last year. I know that it is a urogenital condition, but we all know how it is initially diagnosed. So, for a few weeks in 2025 I had a potential case of arse cancer.

So why am I rambling on about this today?

Well, this morning we took Whiffler down to the Vets for a follow-up consultation.  The Vet showed us his blood results, and all were perfect, apart from a very high calcium level ... a clear indicator of certain cancers.

She had suspected that it might be an anal gland tumour, and had emptied his anal glands last week. She re-checked today and thought she could feel a small lump. A colleague came in and confirmed the diagnosis, so there we have it ... Whiffler has arse cancer.

We discussed the two alternatives; palliative care, or surgery to remove the gland. In consideration of his age, the Vet agreed that either was appropriate, suggesting that he might have six months with palliative care, and maybe two years if the surgery was performed ... provided he had no other health issues.*

We went home to think about it, having been advised that any surgery should be performed promptly.**

It didn't take us long to decide that he should have the operation and he is booked in for the ninth of April.  We are well aware that he will probably only be with us for another year, at best, but he is still alert and moves well.  Removal of his anal gland is a straightforward procedure and will mean and end to the current symptoms.

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* He is already showing signs of arthritis, but is still moving well, and there are effective pain medications.

** We were also given an estimate of £750 for the surgery