Saturday morning saw me chuck a drill and a toolbox in to the back of the Defender and pop over to Bad Man Senior's house to complete a "little DIY job".
Dad had asked me to come over as he had bought a window awning that needed installing. At the tender age of 78, with one bionic knee and one that he refuses to have replaced, nipping up and down step ladders is really not for him. I arrived and viewed the awning. It was huge. Well it was a lot bigger than I expected being around 8' in length and, as I later discovered, it extends a full 7' out from the wall.
The job went pretty well and it was all done and dusted after a couple of hours plus time for coffee, lunch, fooling around with the dog and general chat. Dad and Step Mum Sue seemed pleased with the results and have booked me in to hang a new door on the conservatory when they get back from their holiday. I advised that the fee for door hanging is a full blown Sunday lunch as Bad Man Senior does a wonderful roast.
Back home it was time for a quick coffee and then it was out in search of curtain fabric. 30% had a sample she liked and, since it also had my approval, we took a trip in to Worcester to see if we could find a stockist. We failed so, 30% will make a purchase next week from the original supplier.
Back home AGAIN and I started a dry cure of a pork loin joint that 30% had picked up in Tesco. This will make a fine piece of back bacon and I may give it a Black Treacle rub to produce another batch of Black Bacon. More on that later in the week.
It was then time for a traipse round the Three Miler with T&M and a few odd jobs before an early Supper as 30% is off out to see her Mum sing in a local Choral Society concert. Apparently I was invited but the invitation got lost after I asked if I was allowed to join in.
Saturday, 21 May 2011
Friday, 20 May 2011
Sat on the grid with no fuel
Today Tigger and I have clambered down from the branch after having a very long hard think. Tigger said his head was hurting but couldn't be sure whether it was a change in his brand of coffee, all of the thinking or jumping around in a room with inadequate head clearance...
... anyway, the theme for today seemed to be to hold conference calls and say "very well done, but there is lots of hard work yet to do". When Tiger and I asked questions like "How are we going to do things?" and "when are things needed to be done?" we got a stock answer very much along the lines of "we don't know yet but are sure we will soon".
Now you may think that this is disheartening but we had a hunny sandwich and then held a conference call with the Bunnies and Weasels and said exactly the same things as we had been told. Funnily enough the Bunnies and Weasels asked questions like "How are we going to do things?" and "when are things needed to be done?" but we have learnt from our Elders and told them "we don't know yet but are sure we will soon".
After mobilising the troops it is frustrating not to have anything further to tell them and so it is very difficult to develop our project any further. This is unnerving as contract signature dates are already being bandied around and it is a simple matter of the longer we mess around waiting for the details, the less time we have to do anything with them.
On the home front the curtain rail and brackets got put up on the Landing and 30% and I took a trip in to Evesham to confirm the handles for the replacement windows.
I did manage a minor rant as Evesham appears to be the only town in the UK that has managed to build a Bypass that is no quicker than driving through the town centre. I kid you not, the centre is a crawl through set after set of traffic lights through a traffic system designed by a cretinous monkey and the bypass is a single lane highway with roundabout after roundabout. This should allow free flowing traffic but you have to realise that you need to take in to account the intelligence of your average Evesham driver. They do, after all have a collective IQ that barely gets in to the hundreds. There is only one word to describe it and that word is "shit".
The Evesham website will tell you there arelots of great things to see in the town. If you want my advice, I'd suggest you read the website, look at the pictures then piss off to Worcester, Cheltenham, Stratford or Pershore rather than visit the god forsaken shit hole that is Evesham. Just in case any inhabitants of Evesham read this and take umbrage perhaps I should point out that it is my home town and it used to be a lovely place but now it seems to be naff verging on on tatty.
The one ray of light in the gloom of my trip to town was they guy at Magnet. He knew exactly who we were and what we were there for and within minutes we had seen the various options and made our selections. He gave great customer service and we were both impressed ...
... I'm guessing he wasn't a local.
... anyway, the theme for today seemed to be to hold conference calls and say "very well done, but there is lots of hard work yet to do". When Tiger and I asked questions like "How are we going to do things?" and "when are things needed to be done?" we got a stock answer very much along the lines of "we don't know yet but are sure we will soon".
Now you may think that this is disheartening but we had a hunny sandwich and then held a conference call with the Bunnies and Weasels and said exactly the same things as we had been told. Funnily enough the Bunnies and Weasels asked questions like "How are we going to do things?" and "when are things needed to be done?" but we have learnt from our Elders and told them "we don't know yet but are sure we will soon".
After mobilising the troops it is frustrating not to have anything further to tell them and so it is very difficult to develop our project any further. This is unnerving as contract signature dates are already being bandied around and it is a simple matter of the longer we mess around waiting for the details, the less time we have to do anything with them.
On the home front the curtain rail and brackets got put up on the Landing and 30% and I took a trip in to Evesham to confirm the handles for the replacement windows.
I did manage a minor rant as Evesham appears to be the only town in the UK that has managed to build a Bypass that is no quicker than driving through the town centre. I kid you not, the centre is a crawl through set after set of traffic lights through a traffic system designed by a cretinous monkey and the bypass is a single lane highway with roundabout after roundabout. This should allow free flowing traffic but you have to realise that you need to take in to account the intelligence of your average Evesham driver. They do, after all have a collective IQ that barely gets in to the hundreds. There is only one word to describe it and that word is "shit".
The Evesham website will tell you there are
The one ray of light in the gloom of my trip to town was they guy at Magnet. He knew exactly who we were and what we were there for and within minutes we had seen the various options and made our selections. He gave great customer service and we were both impressed ...
... I'm guessing he wasn't a local.
Quote of the day ...
..... "That's all as result of champagne and foie gras. Not an ounce of that is due to Monster Munch and KFC"
Possibly not the most politically correct utterance to have passed my lips today.
Possibly not the most politically correct utterance to have passed my lips today.
Thursday, 19 May 2011
Woo Hoo ! ...
... or more likely; "Oh Fuck"!
Golfy and I have had another quiet day. I have sat on my favourite branch in the Hundred Acre Wood and I believe that Golfy has been sat in his Lair polishing his Warhead. All day we have waited for our 6 o'clock conference call.
Time drags if you are not careful so I put mine to best use by having an extended lunch with Bad Man Senior who turned up with tomato plants for 30%, his faithful hound; Tilly and a pack of home made tomato soup for our lunch. We had a great natter and made plans to sort out a few jobs over at his domicile as he is now a little past the age where climbing up ladders to drill holes is one of his better ideas.
On the same theme, I too drilled holes after Pater had left and another pair of curtain rail brackets have now been affixed. This time in the "Purple Bedroom" ...
... Before you ask I will explain. When we bought The Pile one of the smaller bedrooms was painted in the most horrendous deep purple. It was truly dreadful and is forever engraved on our collective consciousness. So even though the room has been literally rebuilt and is now painted in a pleasant ivory colour it will forever be known as "the purple bedroom". During the extension build back in 2007/2008 the purple bedroom had it's roof and a couple of its walls removed and consequently was on display to anyone who passed. The Builders used it as a handy landmark and would inform Delivery Drivers who were unfamiliar with the village to simply "look out for the purple wall"!
A dog walk also happened at some point this afternoon and I made a start on supper before I dialled in to the six o'clock call. Christopher Robin lead the call and, after a little huffing and puffing, advised that our client has finally made a decision and we have been selected as their Supplier of Choice. This is great news and Golfy and I are pausing for a brief pat on the back but the real work starts here as we now need to get them to agree to a price and sign up to a contract before we crack open the champagne*.
Supper is now inside me, as are a couple of glasses of Rioja, so I will now sign off and enjoy my last evening of leisure for a good few weeks.
Golfy and I have had another quiet day. I have sat on my favourite branch in the Hundred Acre Wood and I believe that Golfy has been sat in his Lair polishing his Warhead. All day we have waited for our 6 o'clock conference call.
Time drags if you are not careful so I put mine to best use by having an extended lunch with Bad Man Senior who turned up with tomato plants for 30%, his faithful hound; Tilly and a pack of home made tomato soup for our lunch. We had a great natter and made plans to sort out a few jobs over at his domicile as he is now a little past the age where climbing up ladders to drill holes is one of his better ideas.
On the same theme, I too drilled holes after Pater had left and another pair of curtain rail brackets have now been affixed. This time in the "Purple Bedroom" ...
... Before you ask I will explain. When we bought The Pile one of the smaller bedrooms was painted in the most horrendous deep purple. It was truly dreadful and is forever engraved on our collective consciousness. So even though the room has been literally rebuilt and is now painted in a pleasant ivory colour it will forever be known as "the purple bedroom". During the extension build back in 2007/2008 the purple bedroom had it's roof and a couple of its walls removed and consequently was on display to anyone who passed. The Builders used it as a handy landmark and would inform Delivery Drivers who were unfamiliar with the village to simply "look out for the purple wall"!
A dog walk also happened at some point this afternoon and I made a start on supper before I dialled in to the six o'clock call. Christopher Robin lead the call and, after a little huffing and puffing, advised that our client has finally made a decision and we have been selected as their Supplier of Choice. This is great news and Golfy and I are pausing for a brief pat on the back but the real work starts here as we now need to get them to agree to a price and sign up to a contract before we crack open the champagne*.
Supper is now inside me, as are a couple of glasses of Rioja, so I will now sign off and enjoy my last evening of leisure for a good few weeks.
-----------
* actually I have a rather fine Heather Hunny, '98 vintage that would be a delight on a scone if we get the damned deal signed.
Wednesday, 18 May 2011
It's arrived
Another day away from The Hundred Acre Wood ...
... this time I needed to pop down to the village for a mid year performance assessment. Unfortunately my current manager is retiring and he was completing the reviews for all of his reportees before we are handed over to his replacement. I say "unfortunately" as Mr B seems to be one of the better managers at Dante's Nine Circles of Hell and I will miss his dry sense of humour and pragmatic approach to the job.
Golfy was in the village too for the same reasons so we met up and had yet another last minute request from the HR people in advance of their lunchtime call. We did what all responsible employees did and went for a half hour coffee break with the Boer before we sat down and knocked up the emergency slide for the HR presentation. After running our efforts past the relevant Execs we patted ourselves on the back for a job well done and then killed time until our scheduled appointments with Mr B.
Both of us came away with good feedback so it seems we are suited to our current Nelifunt Hunting roles. Apparently the Boss seems to think that we make a good team and suggests that we should continue to pair up in future escapades. Golfy did point out that we were a couple of Village Idiots from The Shires but it seems that they may have seen through that and want to take advantage of our rural cunning.
The HR call with the client came and went and basically seemed to be a bit of a damp squib. I felt that our input was necessary but was annoyed that the Leads were piss poor at actually communicating what they wanted and everything was very last minute. I find it incredibly hard to believe that no-one in Dante's had a sample slide set that they could have passed across to Golfy and I so that we could have used a bit of intellectual capital rather than having to "reinvent the wheel" with only hours available to do so.
Back in the real world, I can report that the Bad Man's Journal is now available in hard back. The anniversary of The Journal was the 20th April 2011 and I have used an internet "make your own book" company to develop a hard copy of the first year's posts. It was a bit of a faff to get it formatted but the single volume arrived today and I am really pleased with the results. I contemplated printing a picture of the volume in this post but was concerned that incorporating all of The Journal within a single entry would cause the creation of some form of "literary"* gravitational singularity and the entire universe would end up being sucked in to my laptop screen ....
.... sod it, lets risk it.
* in the loosest possible sense of the word literary
... this time I needed to pop down to the village for a mid year performance assessment. Unfortunately my current manager is retiring and he was completing the reviews for all of his reportees before we are handed over to his replacement. I say "unfortunately" as Mr B seems to be one of the better managers at Dante's Nine Circles of Hell and I will miss his dry sense of humour and pragmatic approach to the job.
Golfy was in the village too for the same reasons so we met up and had yet another last minute request from the HR people in advance of their lunchtime call. We did what all responsible employees did and went for a half hour coffee break with the Boer before we sat down and knocked up the emergency slide for the HR presentation. After running our efforts past the relevant Execs we patted ourselves on the back for a job well done and then killed time until our scheduled appointments with Mr B.
Both of us came away with good feedback so it seems we are suited to our current Nelifunt Hunting roles. Apparently the Boss seems to think that we make a good team and suggests that we should continue to pair up in future escapades. Golfy did point out that we were a couple of Village Idiots from The Shires but it seems that they may have seen through that and want to take advantage of our rural cunning.
The HR call with the client came and went and basically seemed to be a bit of a damp squib. I felt that our input was necessary but was annoyed that the Leads were piss poor at actually communicating what they wanted and everything was very last minute. I find it incredibly hard to believe that no-one in Dante's had a sample slide set that they could have passed across to Golfy and I so that we could have used a bit of intellectual capital rather than having to "reinvent the wheel" with only hours available to do so.
Back in the real world, I can report that the Bad Man's Journal is now available in hard back. The anniversary of The Journal was the 20th April 2011 and I have used an internet "make your own book" company to develop a hard copy of the first year's posts. It was a bit of a faff to get it formatted but the single volume arrived today and I am really pleased with the results. I contemplated printing a picture of the volume in this post but was concerned that incorporating all of The Journal within a single entry would cause the creation of some form of "literary"* gravitational singularity and the entire universe would end up being sucked in to my laptop screen ....
.... sod it, lets risk it.
 |
| Probably should have dusted first |
* in the loosest possible sense of the word literary
Tuesday, 17 May 2011
Another unusual day
Tuesday saw me leave my favourite branch in The Hundred Acre Wood and visit pastures new.
The Vespa was due for a service and it's MOT and I had booked her in to an non-franchised but Specialist Workshop over in Cheltenham to get the work done. As this is very near Golfy's centre of operations we had planned to meet up to drink coffee and shoot the breeze until the bike was ready for collection. Unfortunately our HR colleagues and one of our Bosses had different ideas and so it was with trepidation that I entered the secret underground lair from which Golfy runs his diverse and nefarious operations.
I cannot say too much about the location other than it is in Gloucestershire and is a 50,000 square feet underground bunker constructed in one of County's many extinct volcanoes*. Actually I can't say much about the location as one of Golfy's stunning, athletic but lethal Henchwomen covered my eyes for the last 10 miles of the journey to the HQ. This lair is cunningly disguised as a roundabout and, this is a very nice touch, has perfect robot rabbits that maintain perimeter patrols and feed information back to the centralised Security console. I did manage to have a look at one of these on the workbench and they pack a surprising amount of armaments for such small and mobile devices.
Once inside, and after I had been given the tour of the laboratories, weapon silos and data centre, we sat down to develop a "last minute" spreadsheet for our Boss and a Presentation for the lazy sods in HR. Once we had finished Golfy gave me a brief guided tour of the Gloucester Docks developments and a stop was made for a panini and coffee.
It was then time to pick up the Vespa and head back to my favourite branch. All had gone well with the Service and MOT and the Workshop Owner commented on her good condition and the fact that she was now starting to appreciate in value. The Vespa is an absolute biking icon and mine is very low mileage example in an unusual colour. She is now reaching the point, at 11 years of age, where I need to think carefully about what I do with her. She is in far too good condition to just let her slowly deteriorate and end up scrapped so it looks like I will now need to spend a few quid on her to ensure that her loveliness is preserved.
Back home it was a quick and early dinner and then back out on the other bike for a run out with Chippy Ian, Mick and another chap who's name I didn't catch. God knows where we went but the roads were fantastic; smooth and flowing and we had a fast run over to Bibury where we settled in to a posh but very welcoming hotel sat alongside the river that runs along the main street of the village. After coffee it was a run back towards the Vale taking in Cirencester and Tewkesbury along the way. I got back at half past ten only to find that my HR colleagues require us to develop a further fucking slide for their sodding presentation. Talk about half arsed and last minute!
The Vespa was due for a service and it's MOT and I had booked her in to an non-franchised but Specialist Workshop over in Cheltenham to get the work done. As this is very near Golfy's centre of operations we had planned to meet up to drink coffee and shoot the breeze until the bike was ready for collection. Unfortunately our HR colleagues and one of our Bosses had different ideas and so it was with trepidation that I entered the secret underground lair from which Golfy runs his diverse and nefarious operations.
I cannot say too much about the location other than it is in Gloucestershire and is a 50,000 square feet underground bunker constructed in one of County's many extinct volcanoes*. Actually I can't say much about the location as one of Golfy's stunning, athletic but lethal Henchwomen covered my eyes for the last 10 miles of the journey to the HQ. This lair is cunningly disguised as a roundabout and, this is a very nice touch, has perfect robot rabbits that maintain perimeter patrols and feed information back to the centralised Security console. I did manage to have a look at one of these on the workbench and they pack a surprising amount of armaments for such small and mobile devices.
Once inside, and after I had been given the tour of the laboratories, weapon silos and data centre, we sat down to develop a "last minute" spreadsheet for our Boss and a Presentation for the lazy sods in HR. Once we had finished Golfy gave me a brief guided tour of the Gloucester Docks developments and a stop was made for a panini and coffee.
It was then time to pick up the Vespa and head back to my favourite branch. All had gone well with the Service and MOT and the Workshop Owner commented on her good condition and the fact that she was now starting to appreciate in value. The Vespa is an absolute biking icon and mine is very low mileage example in an unusual colour. She is now reaching the point, at 11 years of age, where I need to think carefully about what I do with her. She is in far too good condition to just let her slowly deteriorate and end up scrapped so it looks like I will now need to spend a few quid on her to ensure that her loveliness is preserved.
Back home it was a quick and early dinner and then back out on the other bike for a run out with Chippy Ian, Mick and another chap who's name I didn't catch. God knows where we went but the roads were fantastic; smooth and flowing and we had a fast run over to Bibury where we settled in to a posh but very welcoming hotel sat alongside the river that runs along the main street of the village. After coffee it was a run back towards the Vale taking in Cirencester and Tewkesbury along the way. I got back at half past ten only to find that my HR colleagues require us to develop a further fucking slide for their sodding presentation. Talk about half arsed and last minute!
------------
* Surprising in view of the fact that all of Gloucestershire is oolitic limestone. There is not an igneous or metamorphic rock in site.
Monday, 16 May 2011
Is this what I am here to do?
Monday was a bit of a weird day...
... Things are still quiet as we wait for a client decision but negotiations continue and the HR people are trying to pull me in to some of their discussions. This is somewhat unnerving as I am definitely not an HR person and should only be involved to provide specialist input on the Project Scope. However they seem to want to position me as the lead for their work stream which is definitely not what I should be doing. The HR people seem to be very nice but totally unable to do anything for themselves and Golfy and I seem to keep getting shafted and asked to knock up and then tweak spreadsheets and Presentations for them. What is more they are incredibly vague about what it is that they want in these spreadsheets and slide decks. I am getting a strong sense that they don't really know what they want. This is concerning as they are supposed to be the bloody experts.
It is a bit like popping down to the Butchers and asking him to knock up an array of cakes and pastries for a party - basically giving vague instructions to the wrong guy!
Away from work I managed to find some time to put up the brackets for TP's curtain poles and also took T&M for an early evening walk.
We were out again this evening. This time it was to see Dom Joly over at the Artrix in Bromsgrove. It was a great evening. Basically Dom narrated the highs and lows of his career history and showed clips along the way. It doesn't sound too exciting when you put it like that but it was very funny and the BIG PHONE made a brief cameo appearance.
... Things are still quiet as we wait for a client decision but negotiations continue and the HR people are trying to pull me in to some of their discussions. This is somewhat unnerving as I am definitely not an HR person and should only be involved to provide specialist input on the Project Scope. However they seem to want to position me as the lead for their work stream which is definitely not what I should be doing. The HR people seem to be very nice but totally unable to do anything for themselves and Golfy and I seem to keep getting shafted and asked to knock up and then tweak spreadsheets and Presentations for them. What is more they are incredibly vague about what it is that they want in these spreadsheets and slide decks. I am getting a strong sense that they don't really know what they want. This is concerning as they are supposed to be the bloody experts.
It is a bit like popping down to the Butchers and asking him to knock up an array of cakes and pastries for a party - basically giving vague instructions to the wrong guy!
Away from work I managed to find some time to put up the brackets for TP's curtain poles and also took T&M for an early evening walk.
We were out again this evening. This time it was to see Dom Joly over at the Artrix in Bromsgrove. It was a great evening. Basically Dom narrated the highs and lows of his career history and showed clips along the way. It doesn't sound too exciting when you put it like that but it was very funny and the BIG PHONE made a brief cameo appearance.
Sunday, 15 May 2011
Team Meeting
Sunday saw yet another trip to the Rugby Club for yet another team meeting. Last week it was presentation day, this week it is the team barbecue. For the love of God, it is the middle of May and the 2011/12 season will be starting in September! This means that I am devoting nine months worth of Sunday mornings to TP and his antics in every 12...
... as we left we hear the cheery shout "See You on the 5th". "Ah!" I hear you say "The 5th of September, start of the new season", Well no, they mean the 5th of June - start of Summer Bloody Training. They are turning the bloody game in to a 12 month sentence of screwed up weekends. Don't get me wrong, I actually enjoy taking TP to rugby but just get a little miffed that the Squad seem to think that I want to spend my Summer out on the sidelines too.
Back to the Team Barbecue, it was reasonably entertaining and I did something that I hadn't done for 33 years. I played a game of rounders. Apparently I did not make a complete fool of myself and TP's unsolicited critique was that I was "one of the better Dads"...
... Look out for my next game which, based on the interval between matches, will be a few months after my 80th Birthday.
The afternoon was taken up by a good walk with T&M and then it was out of the doors again for a trip over to Warwick Arts Centre to see Richard Herring's Christ on a Bike tour.
It was very, very funny and beautifully performed. It included Richard reciting the genealogy of Jesus from Abraham through to Joseph from the gospel of Matthew both forwards and backwards and then he went through the acronyms he used to remember it all. The list is interrupted by a stream of gags and was a brilliant concept, as was his disection of the ten commandments and how badly they had been constructed. The running joke for that section of the set was that they looked like God hadn't prepared for the handover of the stone tablets to Moses and thrown the Commandments together at the last minute.
The tour is about Richard's atheism and disdain of Christianity and was very intelligent and beautifully witty.
... as we left we hear the cheery shout "See You on the 5th". "Ah!" I hear you say "The 5th of September, start of the new season", Well no, they mean the 5th of June - start of Summer Bloody Training. They are turning the bloody game in to a 12 month sentence of screwed up weekends. Don't get me wrong, I actually enjoy taking TP to rugby but just get a little miffed that the Squad seem to think that I want to spend my Summer out on the sidelines too.
Back to the Team Barbecue, it was reasonably entertaining and I did something that I hadn't done for 33 years. I played a game of rounders. Apparently I did not make a complete fool of myself and TP's unsolicited critique was that I was "one of the better Dads"...
... Look out for my next game which, based on the interval between matches, will be a few months after my 80th Birthday.
The afternoon was taken up by a good walk with T&M and then it was out of the doors again for a trip over to Warwick Arts Centre to see Richard Herring's Christ on a Bike tour.
It was very, very funny and beautifully performed. It included Richard reciting the genealogy of Jesus from Abraham through to Joseph from the gospel of Matthew both forwards and backwards and then he went through the acronyms he used to remember it all. The list is interrupted by a stream of gags and was a brilliant concept, as was his disection of the ten commandments and how badly they had been constructed. The running joke for that section of the set was that they looked like God hadn't prepared for the handover of the stone tablets to Moses and thrown the Commandments together at the last minute.
The tour is about Richard's atheism and disdain of Christianity and was very intelligent and beautifully witty.
Saturday, 14 May 2011
Putting it all back together
I woke early today, so I grabbed a coffee and nipped out to the garage to finish off the mirror frame project that has occupied my spare hours this week.
Andy & Steve have finished painting the bedroom and Chippy Ian was coming back in today to fit the espagniolettes to the wardrobe doors. Basically almost everything is done and it is time to put the room back together. I therefore wanted to have the mirror finished and hung on the wall from day one. It didn't take long to apply a coat of polish to the frame, insert the mirror glass, fix on the backing, screw on the "D Rings" and tie on the length of cord. By the time Ian had started I was ready to fix it to the wall.
I'm pretty chuffed with the results and Ian's comment was that it looked "original" and fitted in well with the room. A couple of days back I said I'd post some before and after pictures so here is the "before" ...
This is what I started with; a few lengths of elm floor boards. These are Victorian. The ones I used for the frame are around 100 years older and even more beaten up than these. After a bit of effort these were wrapped around a piece of bevelled mirror glass recycled from a rather dated 80s mirror. The next few pictures show the frame detail and the completed mirror hung on the wall.
These two pictures show the frame detail. As can be seen it is a simple frame with a bead routed around the inside edge. I really like the appearance of the worm holes and tunnels and they help to give the mirror an illusion of age which fits in well with the room setting. In the first detail picture a plugged nail hole can be seen on the bottom frame rail close to the mitre joint.
Here is the finished mirror. It is about 36 inches high by about 27 inches wide. The frame rails are approximately 4 inches wide.
The final couple of pictures show the mirror on the bedroom wall. It sits between the two cupboards that I have lovingly stripped and waxed as part of the mammoth preparation ordeal over the Easter / May Bank Holiday break.
The rest of the day involved a trip over to Blackminster to check out some Kennels as T&M will need to be incarcerated while we are in America in August. The Kennel owners are Poodle breeders so are familiar with the breed and have a nice little set up. We were amazed at how big their Standard Poodles are. T&M stand at 22" and 23" at the shoulder but their dogs towered over them and were nearer 28". They were HUGE!. Mind you they like big dogs as they also have Great Danes and we spent a fun half an hour playing with their latest litter of 16 Dane pups.
Once we extricated ourselves from the mayhem of the Kennels it was time to get back home and continue putting the room back together. The bed was moved from the landing back in to the room and a few other necessary items were put back too. We still need to clean the floor boards and wax them but that can wait for another day. Fresh curtains are needed too but 30% has done an admirable job with a spare pair and we have had quotes for new ones ...
... I see a trip to the fabric shop coming very soon.
Andy & Steve have finished painting the bedroom and Chippy Ian was coming back in today to fit the espagniolettes to the wardrobe doors. Basically almost everything is done and it is time to put the room back together. I therefore wanted to have the mirror finished and hung on the wall from day one. It didn't take long to apply a coat of polish to the frame, insert the mirror glass, fix on the backing, screw on the "D Rings" and tie on the length of cord. By the time Ian had started I was ready to fix it to the wall.
I'm pretty chuffed with the results and Ian's comment was that it looked "original" and fitted in well with the room. A couple of days back I said I'd post some before and after pictures so here is the "before" ...
These two pictures show the frame detail. As can be seen it is a simple frame with a bead routed around the inside edge. I really like the appearance of the worm holes and tunnels and they help to give the mirror an illusion of age which fits in well with the room setting. In the first detail picture a plugged nail hole can be seen on the bottom frame rail close to the mitre joint.
Here is the finished mirror. It is about 36 inches high by about 27 inches wide. The frame rails are approximately 4 inches wide.
The final couple of pictures show the mirror on the bedroom wall. It sits between the two cupboards that I have lovingly stripped and waxed as part of the mammoth preparation ordeal over the Easter / May Bank Holiday break.
The rest of the day involved a trip over to Blackminster to check out some Kennels as T&M will need to be incarcerated while we are in America in August. The Kennel owners are Poodle breeders so are familiar with the breed and have a nice little set up. We were amazed at how big their Standard Poodles are. T&M stand at 22" and 23" at the shoulder but their dogs towered over them and were nearer 28". They were HUGE!. Mind you they like big dogs as they also have Great Danes and we spent a fun half an hour playing with their latest litter of 16 Dane pups.
Once we extricated ourselves from the mayhem of the Kennels it was time to get back home and continue putting the room back together. The bed was moved from the landing back in to the room and a few other necessary items were put back too. We still need to clean the floor boards and wax them but that can wait for another day. Fresh curtains are needed too but 30% has done an admirable job with a spare pair and we have had quotes for new ones ...
... I see a trip to the fabric shop coming very soon.
Friday, 13 May 2011
Another quiet day
Having spent a spare hour developing a spreadsheet yesterday evening, Golfy and I had very little to do this morning and then there was even less when the first call of the day got cancelled too.
We did have a call later in the morning where the aforementioned spreadsheet was reviewed and generally commended with a couple of minor amendments suggested. That took all of 15 minutes and Golfy and I had the improvements sorted within twenty minutes of the call ending. Basically, at that point, I had the rest of the day to myself.
The frame project filled a couple of hours and I now have the rebate cut, it has been sanded and a coat of Danish Oil is now soaking in to the surface. I have cleaned up the mirror glass and will give the frame a coat of wax polish and assemble it tomorrow. I’m really pleased with the result which is a simple frame constructed from some ancient wormy timber. It has loads of character and I will post a couple of “before and after” pictures once I have it finished and hanging on the wall.
On my walk with T&M I learnt a couple of things. The first was always take a camera. As I passed a tree on the way home I heard a cheeping sound and looked up to see a hole in the main trunk. Within a couple of minutes I had a splendid view of a Greater Spotted Woodpecker entering the nest. The second thing I learnt is to always take a coat as the heavens opened and it absolutely poured down and I returned home looking like a drowned rat.
Thursday, 12 May 2011
Oops, I Dropped My Guard
Most of today has been very quiet so I have been sat on my favourite branch watching the world go by.
Away from the Hundred Acre Wood, Andy & Steve finished decorating our bedroom and it is a truism that preparation is the key to decoration and also that Bloody Decorators get all the sodding glory. I have spent long filthy days in that room skimming plaster, stripping wood, sanding and so on and then these two gits turn up and carelessly slosh a bit of paint around and here I am extolling their questionable virtues.
It looks great and I am planning to move the furniture back in over the weekend. The floorboards still need a clean up and polish but I am sure I can fit that in at some point ….
….. or maybe I will just do the ones that show once the bed is back in place.
I also found a few minutes to assemble the mirror frame I have been making. I used a biscuit jointer to strengthen the mitres as the mirror is quite large and heavy. The frame now sits on the work bench in a strap clamp. Tomorrow will see me release it from its bonds and flip it over so I can mark and cut the rebate for the mirror glass. To be honest I should finish it since all it then needs is a quick sand, a coat of Danish Oil and 24 hours later it will be ready for glass fitting and hanging on the wall.
Back at The Hundred Acre Wood the sun was creeping towards the horizon and I was watching from my favourite Oak as the sky turned to pink. It was time for Christopher Robin’s twice weekly story. Don’t get excited, they have been very poor recently. The sort of story where you know the ending and it is absolute rubbish and there is very little mention of Hunny Sandwiches ….
…. Basically very poor literature!
I sat down to half listen and suddenly Christopher Robin jabbed me in my ample tummy with a sharp stick – Little Fucker! – I now have to drag a load of data from my files and present information that either we don’t have or doesn’t exist for a call tomorrow with a couple of key members of the European Champion Nelifunt hunting squad.
I muttered bollocks and opened up a spreadsheet.
Wednesday, 11 May 2011
A Day Out.
Today I climbed off the branch I usually sit on in the Hundred Acre Wood and wandered down to the Village to see what is going on.
Tigger was going too, as one of the Bunnies was going to be in the area and we had all agreed to meet up and see how well he was getting on with the planning for the Grand Banquet should Christopher Robin get past "first base". To be honest it was not the most fruitful of days. We bumped in to quite a few Nelifunt Hunters and had lots of nice chats, morning coffee, elevenses, lunch and afternoon tea but we came away only marginally wiser than we were when we arrived.
Once home it was a quick squiz at what Andy & Steve had done in the bedroom - they arrived a day early - a coffee and out of the door for a wander around the Three Miler with T&M.
Back home from my walk I had an hour to kill before dinner so I continued with the mirror frame that I started yesterday. When I say "mirror frame" I actually mean the four lengths of elm floor boards that I hope to ultimately transform in to a mirror frame. The nail holes had all been plugged and trimmed so now it was time to clean the boards up. They are covered with more than a Century's worth of polish and grime so the belt sander was brought out. It is an aggressive little bugger but there is little else short of a planer that will remove the top layer from this timber. The problem with using a planer is there is a high risk of knackering the blades due to nails in the wood. No matter how hard you look there is always a tack somewhere that escaped one's scrutiny.
Half an hour later I was filthy and the boards were "not". I wandered in for dinner thinking "that was it" only to find that 30% and TP had an EastEnders Double Bill planned for their evening's TV entertainment. I found myself back in the garage where I cracked on. An hour or so later I had planed all of the boards to the right width, routed the bead detail on the board edges and had cut the mitres. It now looks like a frame when laid out on the bench and tomorrow will see me glue it up.
Tigger was going too, as one of the Bunnies was going to be in the area and we had all agreed to meet up and see how well he was getting on with the planning for the Grand Banquet should Christopher Robin get past "first base". To be honest it was not the most fruitful of days. We bumped in to quite a few Nelifunt Hunters and had lots of nice chats, morning coffee, elevenses, lunch and afternoon tea but we came away only marginally wiser than we were when we arrived.
Once home it was a quick squiz at what Andy & Steve had done in the bedroom - they arrived a day early - a coffee and out of the door for a wander around the Three Miler with T&M.
Back home from my walk I had an hour to kill before dinner so I continued with the mirror frame that I started yesterday. When I say "mirror frame" I actually mean the four lengths of elm floor boards that I hope to ultimately transform in to a mirror frame. The nail holes had all been plugged and trimmed so now it was time to clean the boards up. They are covered with more than a Century's worth of polish and grime so the belt sander was brought out. It is an aggressive little bugger but there is little else short of a planer that will remove the top layer from this timber. The problem with using a planer is there is a high risk of knackering the blades due to nails in the wood. No matter how hard you look there is always a tack somewhere that escaped one's scrutiny.
Half an hour later I was filthy and the boards were "not". I wandered in for dinner thinking "that was it" only to find that 30% and TP had an EastEnders Double Bill planned for their evening's TV entertainment. I found myself back in the garage where I cracked on. An hour or so later I had planed all of the boards to the right width, routed the bead detail on the board edges and had cut the mitres. It now looks like a frame when laid out on the bench and tomorrow will see me glue it up.
Tuesday, 10 May 2011
Making Hay ...
Tuesday was another quiet day and I found time for a little woodwork …
… let me explain; as we are about to have the bedroom decorated it is time to think about décor and it was most definitely a case of “that mirror has to go”. It is a rather 80’s number with a white frame and doesn’t really go with the look of the room now that the wardrobes have been built and the cupboards and doors have been sanded, oiled and polished.
The mirror itself was a rather fine bevelled piece of glass so all it needed was a new frame to regain it’s place in the room, time for a bit of recycling I think. I have a large amount of very old elm floor boards that were lifted from the landing during the extension build and with a bit of care these will make a most excellent mirror frame. I knocked one up about 18 months ago for the downstairs loo and was really pleased with the result so it is time for another.
As you can image a 250 year old floor board is somewhat beaten up and the first stage is to identify a few lengths that are robust enough for the job. Then it is a case of dealing with the nail holes where they have been previously fixed to the joists. That is what I managed to do this morning. The method was to drill each nail hole with a 10mm drill and then use corresponding sized plugs that had been bored from a scrap of elm board. These are simply glued in to the holes and will be trimmed once dry, more on this later in the week.
The evening saw another ride out with Chippy Ian and Mick. This time it was out through Evesham towards Cheltenham, out through Shurdington and up Birdlip Hill on to the escarpment. From there it was a fast run along the A417 to the outskirts of Cirencester and a stop for a coffee before taking the A429 towards Stow on the Wold. Before we reached Bourton on the Water we cut off the main road and took the lanes toward Snowshill where we dropped down off the hill and joined the A44 at Broadway for a run back in to the Vale.
I remember when I first started driving that we used to try to freewheel from the top of Snowshill all the way in to Broadway. We never quite made it but it was amazing just how far we could get using the limited power of a VW Beetle and the steep gradient to best effect.
It was a good run but it was unnerving to see a Fallow Deer leap out in to the road in front of Ian in the fading light. The last thing I wanted to do was to hit one of those as they are most definitely not traffic savvy and my bike TP and me are most definitely not designed for skidding down the road.
Monday, 9 May 2011
and relax ...
As indicated yesterday, I am back in work for a rest.
Over the past week Golfy and I have pulled together a revised set of numbers and these will be presented to our client on Friday, yep, Friday 13th. So in the meantime, and I'm guessing for a good few days next week, there will be very little of major import to do. This is the nature of the new role it is very much "all or nothing" and we are currently in a "nothing" phase whilst colleagues crunch our numbers and the client makes a decision.
That being the case I started the day with a stiff drink. A few weeks back I decided to make my own Rhubarb Vodka Liqueur. I finally got my act together and decanted the mixture and filtered it in to bottles. It is a lovely pink colour but is still a little cloudy but I am sure it will clear if left for a few more weeks and decanted one further time. As for the taste, I did leave the tasting until the evening and can report that it is sweet and very "Rhubarby". I really like it but 30% reports it a little too sweet for her tastes. We agreed that mixed with a tonic water or lemonade it would make a great spirit/mixer combination.
I also managed to get the Ducati booked in for a service and MOT at the workshop that resurrected her last year. Other than walking T&M and an evening trip to the dog training class that pretty much sums up my day.
Work? What do you mean, work? Oh, I see, well I fired off a couple of e-mails, did a weekly report and sat on a branch in the wood with Tigger for an hour or so. Does that count?
Over the past week Golfy and I have pulled together a revised set of numbers and these will be presented to our client on Friday, yep, Friday 13th. So in the meantime, and I'm guessing for a good few days next week, there will be very little of major import to do. This is the nature of the new role it is very much "all or nothing" and we are currently in a "nothing" phase whilst colleagues crunch our numbers and the client makes a decision.
That being the case I started the day with a stiff drink. A few weeks back I decided to make my own Rhubarb Vodka Liqueur. I finally got my act together and decanted the mixture and filtered it in to bottles. It is a lovely pink colour but is still a little cloudy but I am sure it will clear if left for a few more weeks and decanted one further time. As for the taste, I did leave the tasting until the evening and can report that it is sweet and very "Rhubarby". I really like it but 30% reports it a little too sweet for her tastes. We agreed that mixed with a tonic water or lemonade it would make a great spirit/mixer combination.
I also managed to get the Ducati booked in for a service and MOT at the workshop that resurrected her last year. Other than walking T&M and an evening trip to the dog training class that pretty much sums up my day.
Work? What do you mean, work? Oh, I see, well I fired off a couple of e-mails, did a weekly report and sat on a branch in the wood with Tigger for an hour or so. Does that count?
Sunday, 8 May 2011
The Weekend
Andy & Steve turn up on Thursday and Friday next week to paint the bedroom. I therefore needed to complete a couple of final preparation tasks before they turn up and start flinging emulsion around the place.
Saturday's plan was a haircut first thing, to take T&M to the local dog show at lunch time and then spend the afternoon sanding the oak wardrobes that Chippy Ian has built.
The long dry spell finally broke on Friday Night and it was chucking down when I got up. Normally I would walk down to the salon for a trim as it is only 10 minutes down the road but at 8.15 with "stair rods" coming down 30%'s car looked a far more attractive proposition. Shorn and back home it was still chucking it down so the dog show idea got ditched and I gave the wardrobe a tickle with 240 grit.
30% and I then started the massive clean up in the room. You know the sort of thing, vacuuming, washing down of walls, tools back to garage etc when TP decided to inform us that he had a shopping list of absolute necessities for his Tech and Textiles Project and these needed to be ready for Monday. Let us just say that this was a little "last minute" and he was not the most definite about a) what he exactly was making and b) what he actually needed. Let's just also say that we had "words" before I finally managed to work out that he is building a clock and needed certain materials for the face design.
After a minor "domestic" it was agreed that TP would assist with the clean up and I would then take him in to town to collect his stuff and pick up the paint for the bedroom. I should have learnt by now that you need to get all parties engaged early when forming a plan and I foolishly didn't involve B&Q. I couldn't believe it when I turned up and they didn't have any 5 litre cans of Matt Emulsion Base and therefore couldn't mix up the colour I wanted. This is the most "vanilla" of paint since it is used to mix any colour they sell and the useless gits wouldn't have any in stock until Tuesday. Cursing under my breath I left and picked up the rest of TP's list.
It was then a quick walk round the Three Miler with T&M before getting ready to pop over to James Bond and Moneypenny's for Dinner and chat. We had a great evening. It was a late one, as usual, and quite boozy too, at least on my part.
Everyone was a little sluggish on Sunday as a result of the late night and possibly the gin in my case. We trundled over to the Rugby Club for the final session of the Season which was a fun game of Touch Rugby between mixed age group teams. TP found his form and scored 4 Trys and fortunately, save for a brief shower, the weather stayed fine. The end of season presentations followed and after the Barbecue it was back home and the final job in the bedroom.
They say "leave the best 'til last" and my afternoon job was quite pleasurable. I had to apply a coat of oil to the oak wardrobes and it was a delight to see the wood come alive as the oil penetrated the grain and brought out details and features barely seen until the coating was applied. A couple of hours later I was done and finally cleared the last of the tools from the room.
None of us seemed to have any energy so it was a light supper and making like couch potatoes until bedtime.
As I said last Monday "back in to work for a rest"
Saturday's plan was a haircut first thing, to take T&M to the local dog show at lunch time and then spend the afternoon sanding the oak wardrobes that Chippy Ian has built.
The long dry spell finally broke on Friday Night and it was chucking down when I got up. Normally I would walk down to the salon for a trim as it is only 10 minutes down the road but at 8.15 with "stair rods" coming down 30%'s car looked a far more attractive proposition. Shorn and back home it was still chucking it down so the dog show idea got ditched and I gave the wardrobe a tickle with 240 grit.
30% and I then started the massive clean up in the room. You know the sort of thing, vacuuming, washing down of walls, tools back to garage etc when TP decided to inform us that he had a shopping list of absolute necessities for his Tech and Textiles Project and these needed to be ready for Monday. Let us just say that this was a little "last minute" and he was not the most definite about a) what he exactly was making and b) what he actually needed. Let's just also say that we had "words" before I finally managed to work out that he is building a clock and needed certain materials for the face design.
After a minor "domestic" it was agreed that TP would assist with the clean up and I would then take him in to town to collect his stuff and pick up the paint for the bedroom. I should have learnt by now that you need to get all parties engaged early when forming a plan and I foolishly didn't involve B&Q. I couldn't believe it when I turned up and they didn't have any 5 litre cans of Matt Emulsion Base and therefore couldn't mix up the colour I wanted. This is the most "vanilla" of paint since it is used to mix any colour they sell and the useless gits wouldn't have any in stock until Tuesday. Cursing under my breath I left and picked up the rest of TP's list.
It was then a quick walk round the Three Miler with T&M before getting ready to pop over to James Bond and Moneypenny's for Dinner and chat. We had a great evening. It was a late one, as usual, and quite boozy too, at least on my part.
Everyone was a little sluggish on Sunday as a result of the late night and possibly the gin in my case. We trundled over to the Rugby Club for the final session of the Season which was a fun game of Touch Rugby between mixed age group teams. TP found his form and scored 4 Trys and fortunately, save for a brief shower, the weather stayed fine. The end of season presentations followed and after the Barbecue it was back home and the final job in the bedroom.
They say "leave the best 'til last" and my afternoon job was quite pleasurable. I had to apply a coat of oil to the oak wardrobes and it was a delight to see the wood come alive as the oil penetrated the grain and brought out details and features barely seen until the coating was applied. A couple of hours later I was done and finally cleared the last of the tools from the room.
None of us seemed to have any energy so it was a light supper and making like couch potatoes until bedtime.
As I said last Monday "back in to work for a rest"
Friday, 6 May 2011
Christopher Robin, over to you.
For the past 4 days Golfy and I, aka Tigger and Pooh, have been revising the cost projections for our latest project based on some new data from our client.
We were given some new numbers on Tuesday morning and told to sort it out and have it back to our US colleagues by next Monday. This is not as simple as it sounds. First we had to make sure that we had the right people available to develop the new projections and, once they had done that, the new costs all had to be compiled and then we had the potential dread that is Dante's review cycle. In the last iteration of the project we completed the review cycle in 5 days and that was seen by experienced colleagues as challenging. This time we only had 5 working days to complete the updates, get them reviewed and dispatched.
Needless to say, on Tuesday this week, I was thinking that we were in for a very shitty few days....
.... all I can say is that I must have done something very good in a previous life as the Gods positively beamed on me and Golfy and it has been plain sailing all the way. All of the colleagues we needed were available and ready to roll after the extended Easter/May Bank Holiday lay off, a more experienced colleague gave us some advice that meant that the review cycle could be avoided provided our numbers remained within certain parameters and none of our immediate and more remote management baulked at our proposal to not complete the aforementioned review cycle.
The net result is that we have been able to provide our numbers to the US Team a full three days before they requested them giving them much needed time for aggregation and pricing. I have spent the latter part of the day receiving plaudits from a number of people for a well managed week. I'm not quite sure how to take this. Maybe I have done a great job or maybe I have just been very lucky. Maybe being able to devise a rough plan and ask the right people the right questions deserves the congratulations. Maybe not. Maybe knowing which are good Bunnies and which need to be watched closely is what I am here to do.
The one thing I do know is that I would not have achieved anything without the support of my friends and colleagues. Even the Bunny that couldn't get the fairy cake out of the tin was a necessary cog in the wheel. I feel uneasy accepting votes of thanks when I know that this was a team effort and I am nought without my team.
Cheers Chaps - you have done a fantastic job and you all deserve a great weekend.
As for my weekend, a long sit on the fallen log in the Beech Glade and perhaps a not too strenuous game of Pooh Sticks .... oh, and loads of hunny sandwiches.
We were given some new numbers on Tuesday morning and told to sort it out and have it back to our US colleagues by next Monday. This is not as simple as it sounds. First we had to make sure that we had the right people available to develop the new projections and, once they had done that, the new costs all had to be compiled and then we had the potential dread that is Dante's review cycle. In the last iteration of the project we completed the review cycle in 5 days and that was seen by experienced colleagues as challenging. This time we only had 5 working days to complete the updates, get them reviewed and dispatched.
Needless to say, on Tuesday this week, I was thinking that we were in for a very shitty few days....
.... all I can say is that I must have done something very good in a previous life as the Gods positively beamed on me and Golfy and it has been plain sailing all the way. All of the colleagues we needed were available and ready to roll after the extended Easter/May Bank Holiday lay off, a more experienced colleague gave us some advice that meant that the review cycle could be avoided provided our numbers remained within certain parameters and none of our immediate and more remote management baulked at our proposal to not complete the aforementioned review cycle.
The net result is that we have been able to provide our numbers to the US Team a full three days before they requested them giving them much needed time for aggregation and pricing. I have spent the latter part of the day receiving plaudits from a number of people for a well managed week. I'm not quite sure how to take this. Maybe I have done a great job or maybe I have just been very lucky. Maybe being able to devise a rough plan and ask the right people the right questions deserves the congratulations. Maybe not. Maybe knowing which are good Bunnies and which need to be watched closely is what I am here to do.
The one thing I do know is that I would not have achieved anything without the support of my friends and colleagues. Even the Bunny that couldn't get the fairy cake out of the tin was a necessary cog in the wheel. I feel uneasy accepting votes of thanks when I know that this was a team effort and I am nought without my team.
Cheers Chaps - you have done a fantastic job and you all deserve a great weekend.
As for my weekend, a long sit on the fallen log in the Beech Glade and perhaps a not too strenuous game of Pooh Sticks .... oh, and loads of hunny sandwiches.
Thursday, 5 May 2011
Getting There
Down in the Hundred Acre Wood Tigger and Me have had quite a busy day. The woodland creatures have been preparing Christopher Robin's picnic and us two brave fellows have been doing our important things.
Today it has been mostly story writing and hard sums. To make sure we had time later on for elevenses and afternoon tea we shared out the work. A day in the Hundred Acre Wood needs careful planning to make sure that the important things like meals and snacks and stick fights and sitting in the sun take place and that Nelifunt Hunts and Picnics do not get in the way. Tigger decided to do the hard sums as I am a Bear of Little Brain and I was left with the story writing.
I went and got my best pencil* and sharpened it ready to write my story. I need to let Eeyore know that Tigger, Me and the woodland creatures have made Christopher Robin's picnic properly and that we have neither made too many hunny sandwiches nor too few.
Tigger was left to do the hard sums. He has been quite the hero counting all the sandwiches as they are delivered by the woodland creatures and making sure that we have enough for Christopher Robin and Kanga; not too many and not too few. We did have a problem at one point with one of the Bunnies. This one is a simple lad and he had managed to make a reasonable fairy cake but he had put it in a tin and couldn't seem to be able to get the lid off. Golfy encouraged him to try harder but the Bunny disappeared in to his burrow and we couldn't get him to talk to us no matter how loud we shouted. We considered going in after him but with a tummy like mine going down a Bunny Burrow is not a thing to be undertaken lightly. Tigger and Me had a long hard think and finally realised that the Bunny was too busy thinking about lying in the sun and not about the picnic. Ten minutes later the cake was out of the tin and Tigger was back to the hard sums.
I will point out that I did notice that Tigger was using his "special pen" to do the hard sums. This is the one with the Spanish Lady that drops her drawers when you turn the pen upside down!
We need to have the picnic ready for Monday but Christopher Robin is already muttering that he wants to see the spread tomorrow.
* HB of course; H for Hunny and B for Bear
Today it has been mostly story writing and hard sums. To make sure we had time later on for elevenses and afternoon tea we shared out the work. A day in the Hundred Acre Wood needs careful planning to make sure that the important things like meals and snacks and stick fights and sitting in the sun take place and that Nelifunt Hunts and Picnics do not get in the way. Tigger decided to do the hard sums as I am a Bear of Little Brain and I was left with the story writing.
I went and got my best pencil* and sharpened it ready to write my story. I need to let Eeyore know that Tigger, Me and the woodland creatures have made Christopher Robin's picnic properly and that we have neither made too many hunny sandwiches nor too few.
Tigger was left to do the hard sums. He has been quite the hero counting all the sandwiches as they are delivered by the woodland creatures and making sure that we have enough for Christopher Robin and Kanga; not too many and not too few. We did have a problem at one point with one of the Bunnies. This one is a simple lad and he had managed to make a reasonable fairy cake but he had put it in a tin and couldn't seem to be able to get the lid off. Golfy encouraged him to try harder but the Bunny disappeared in to his burrow and we couldn't get him to talk to us no matter how loud we shouted. We considered going in after him but with a tummy like mine going down a Bunny Burrow is not a thing to be undertaken lightly. Tigger and Me had a long hard think and finally realised that the Bunny was too busy thinking about lying in the sun and not about the picnic. Ten minutes later the cake was out of the tin and Tigger was back to the hard sums.
I will point out that I did notice that Tigger was using his "special pen" to do the hard sums. This is the one with the Spanish Lady that drops her drawers when you turn the pen upside down!
We need to have the picnic ready for Monday but Christopher Robin is already muttering that he wants to see the spread tomorrow.
------------
* HB of course; H for Hunny and B for Bear
Wednesday, 4 May 2011
The Hundred Acre Bake Off
The woodland creatures have all started making scones and hunny sandwiches and cakes and more hunny sandwiches today.
Me and Golfy have the most important job and have been walking around most importantly .. "did I mention that we needed to make hunny sandwiches? I did ? OK, excellent, moving on" .. Me and Golfy have a most important job and have been walking around making sure that the weasels, rabbits, foxes and badgers have all washed their paws before they start baking and don't get confused with the ingredients.
I am sure that at one point today one of the Rabbits was trying to add some more of MY HUNNY to one of Christopher Robin's sandwiches. This simply will not do. I may be a Bear of Little Brain but I can spot a Bunny shoving extra portions of my Hunny in to Christopher Robin's packed lunch from the other side of the Beech Glade down by the Pooh Sticks Bridge.
Golfy and me need to make sure that the picnic is just the right size; not too big and not too small. If it is too big we will have all sorts of problems packing it in to the picnic basket and carrying it down to the field. The last thing I want to do is get Eeyore involved any more than I possibly have to. We all know that Eeyore is all "doom and gloom" and will spend forever rambling on about how we are likely to give Christopher Robin and Kanga tummy aches or worse.
Tummy aches are obviously very serious as they prevent one from eating hunny sandwiches but Golfy and Me are certain that tummy aches are not going to be a problem with this picnic.
I'm still not absolutely certain I know what I am going on about and 30% has managed to get tickets in the front block for lazy eyed, Bristolian comedian Russell Howard when he plays the NEC in December.
Me and Golfy have the most important job and have been walking around most importantly .. "did I mention that we needed to make hunny sandwiches? I did ? OK, excellent, moving on" .. Me and Golfy have a most important job and have been walking around making sure that the weasels, rabbits, foxes and badgers have all washed their paws before they start baking and don't get confused with the ingredients.
I am sure that at one point today one of the Rabbits was trying to add some more of MY HUNNY to one of Christopher Robin's sandwiches. This simply will not do. I may be a Bear of Little Brain but I can spot a Bunny shoving extra portions of my Hunny in to Christopher Robin's packed lunch from the other side of the Beech Glade down by the Pooh Sticks Bridge.
Golfy and me need to make sure that the picnic is just the right size; not too big and not too small. If it is too big we will have all sorts of problems packing it in to the picnic basket and carrying it down to the field. The last thing I want to do is get Eeyore involved any more than I possibly have to. We all know that Eeyore is all "doom and gloom" and will spend forever rambling on about how we are likely to give Christopher Robin and Kanga tummy aches or worse.
Tummy aches are obviously very serious as they prevent one from eating hunny sandwiches but Golfy and Me are certain that tummy aches are not going to be a problem with this picnic.
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Other StuffI'm still not absolutely certain I know what I am going on about and 30% has managed to get tickets in the front block for lazy eyed, Bristolian comedian Russell Howard when he plays the NEC in December.
Tuesday, 3 May 2011
A invertashun
Today I had a great adventure planned for me and Golfy down in the Hundred Acre Wood. A complete lack of anything unimportant to do meant that we could get on with some really great stuff. First I thought we could have a chat about really important things like how many Easter Eggs we got and then move on to making a den down by the brook. I then thought we could have a competition to see who could make the best model of Judge Dread out of clay* before wandering back to Pooh Corner for elevenses. A hectic afternoon of fishing and stick fighting and then home later on for tea and a bath.
I was therefore quite miffed to find that Christopher Robin had been invited out for a picnic by Kanga and that he needed Tigger and me to make him up a packed lunch. Christopher Robin has apparently been on the internut and had found out that single mum's like Kanga are "easy" and he is very keen to get in to bed with her. Now Tigger and me are absolutely brilliant at making samwiches but we thought we better have a practice. Tigger had a go and decided that a slice of bread between two dollops of hunny was a vast improvement on the usual recipe. I have to admit that I do agree but they were an absolute bugger to wrap up and we got in to a dreadful pickle with the greaseproof paper. We therefore may need to approach the preparation of the lunch with a little more care than I would have liked.
As a result the Easter Egg discussion and stick fighting has had to be put on hold and instead we had to do a complete circuit of the wood rounding up a variety of motley woodland creatures to assist us in our 100 Acre Catering venture. I have to admit that one of the weasels and a badger cub seem to be a couple of lightweights and would be better suited to spreading butter than knocking up a damned good quiche so that Christopher Robin stands a chance of a shag**.
We managed to get enuff creatures together and most of them seem prepared to put aside den making and stick sharpening to help me and Tigger with the picnic. All I need to do now is see how much quality control he wants to apply before weshove carefully pack it in to a basket for his little assignation with Kanga on Friday week. I have therefore sent a note over to Owl to see what he suggests. I hope he reads it overnight.
* Piglet said it was clay. If he is bullshitting me again I will turn that little pink git in to streaky
** I may be a bear of little brain but I have pointed out to him that a) she is a stuffed toy*** and b) he has to get rid of Roo for a couple of hours too but will he listen ...
*** I have heard that kapok is a nasty irritant
By the way, this is so bloody obscure I'm not even sure I know what I am talking about.
I was therefore quite miffed to find that Christopher Robin had been invited out for a picnic by Kanga and that he needed Tigger and me to make him up a packed lunch. Christopher Robin has apparently been on the internut and had found out that single mum's like Kanga are "easy" and he is very keen to get in to bed with her. Now Tigger and me are absolutely brilliant at making samwiches but we thought we better have a practice. Tigger had a go and decided that a slice of bread between two dollops of hunny was a vast improvement on the usual recipe. I have to admit that I do agree but they were an absolute bugger to wrap up and we got in to a dreadful pickle with the greaseproof paper. We therefore may need to approach the preparation of the lunch with a little more care than I would have liked.
As a result the Easter Egg discussion and stick fighting has had to be put on hold and instead we had to do a complete circuit of the wood rounding up a variety of motley woodland creatures to assist us in our 100 Acre Catering venture. I have to admit that one of the weasels and a badger cub seem to be a couple of lightweights and would be better suited to spreading butter than knocking up a damned good quiche so that Christopher Robin stands a chance of a shag**.
We managed to get enuff creatures together and most of them seem prepared to put aside den making and stick sharpening to help me and Tigger with the picnic. All I need to do now is see how much quality control he wants to apply before we
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* Piglet said it was clay. If he is bullshitting me again I will turn that little pink git in to streaky
** I may be a bear of little brain but I have pointed out to him that a) she is a stuffed toy*** and b) he has to get rid of Roo for a couple of hours too but will he listen ...
*** I have heard that kapok is a nasty irritant
By the way, this is so bloody obscure I'm not even sure I know what I am talking about.
Monday, 2 May 2011
Have you ever heard ...
... the saying "I'll be glad to get back to work as I need a rest" ?
Well, after 10 days of preparation in the bedroom that is pretty much how I feel. Today I finished off the plastering and 30% and I had a good tidy up as Chippy Ian is back in tomorrow to fit the wardrobe doors.
The option of sitting in front of a laptop for eight hours a day looks quite attractive after being covered in dust and crap on a daily basis for the past week and a half. Although it has been hard and dirty work 30% and I are pleased with the transformation and when the Painters have finished it will look fantastic. All that is left to do is to sand and wax the wardrobe once CI has finished and have a good clean and polish of the floor boards.
To be fair I have found time during the Easter/May Bank Holiday break for a few other activities and today I took TP over to the Kit Car show at Stoneleigh for a few hours. The weather was splendid and we had a great time wandering round checking out the definitely "non-mainstream" motoring options. I must admit an AC Cobra replica would be a rather fine thing to drive around in especially as most of them seem to have colossal American V8 power-plants under the hood.
It is work tomorrow and, having kept an eye on my email over the holiday, I am wondering what I will be up to as there has been no news from the client since we delivered our latest Proposal on 22nd March.
Well, after 10 days of preparation in the bedroom that is pretty much how I feel. Today I finished off the plastering and 30% and I had a good tidy up as Chippy Ian is back in tomorrow to fit the wardrobe doors.
The option of sitting in front of a laptop for eight hours a day looks quite attractive after being covered in dust and crap on a daily basis for the past week and a half. Although it has been hard and dirty work 30% and I are pleased with the transformation and when the Painters have finished it will look fantastic. All that is left to do is to sand and wax the wardrobe once CI has finished and have a good clean and polish of the floor boards.
To be fair I have found time during the Easter/May Bank Holiday break for a few other activities and today I took TP over to the Kit Car show at Stoneleigh for a few hours. The weather was splendid and we had a great time wandering round checking out the definitely "non-mainstream" motoring options. I must admit an AC Cobra replica would be a rather fine thing to drive around in especially as most of them seem to have colossal American V8 power-plants under the hood.
It is work tomorrow and, having kept an eye on my email over the holiday, I am wondering what I will be up to as there has been no news from the client since we delivered our latest Proposal on 22nd March.
Sunday, 1 May 2011
Plastered ...
.... but not as a result of excessive alcohol.
This morning TP and I spent a couple of hours patching the plaster in the bedroom. At some point in it's history a picture rail had been nailed to the wall and this had been removed as part of the refurbishment. This left gaping holes where the cut nail fixings had been pulled out and it also became apparent that the walls above the rail were in a pretty poor state. It therefore needed a quick skim to tidy it up.
The preceding paragraph may make it sound like I know what I am doing. Lets put that misconception to rest straight away. The best way to put this is that I am a rough plasterer that can apply a finish appropriate to a Georgian/Victorian cottage. You most definitely would not get a mirror smooth finish on your walls if I was the man with the float.
I'll need to apply a further skim in a couple of areas tomorrow but most of the job has been finished.
The sofa beckoned for a good chunk of the afternoon and after a lengthy doze TP and I took T&M out for a quick run before my Dad, Sue and Tilly came over for Dinner.
This morning TP and I spent a couple of hours patching the plaster in the bedroom. At some point in it's history a picture rail had been nailed to the wall and this had been removed as part of the refurbishment. This left gaping holes where the cut nail fixings had been pulled out and it also became apparent that the walls above the rail were in a pretty poor state. It therefore needed a quick skim to tidy it up.
The preceding paragraph may make it sound like I know what I am doing. Lets put that misconception to rest straight away. The best way to put this is that I am a rough plasterer that can apply a finish appropriate to a Georgian/Victorian cottage. You most definitely would not get a mirror smooth finish on your walls if I was the man with the float.
I'll need to apply a further skim in a couple of areas tomorrow but most of the job has been finished.
The sofa beckoned for a good chunk of the afternoon and after a lengthy doze TP and I took T&M out for a quick run before my Dad, Sue and Tilly came over for Dinner.
Saturday, 30 April 2011
Tyson's Bumper Book of Crime. Number 1 in a totally unexpected series
A totally unexpected appearance by Tyson in the Dock this afternoon on a charge of aggravated rolling in fox shit necessitating a bath to get rid of the incredibly bad smell.
A lesser charge of removing a stale loaf from the work surface was dropped after it was agreed that it had already been decreed as suitable only for animal feed and the chickens decided not to press charges.
The reason that this entry is "totally unexpected" is that Tyson is 30%'s "best girl" who is absolutely perfect and totally incapable of any inappropriate behaviour. The result is that Marauder generally gets the blame. M was therefore quite chuffed to be wandering around the garden as T stood in the dog bath looking somewhat soggy and bedraggled.
Other Stuff
I made a start on the plastering in the bedroom today and am reasonably pleased with the results. TP has been recruited as Labourer for tomorrow when we plan to break the back of it.
This evening sees another trip over to Warwick Arts Centre. This time to see Ed Byrne's current stand-up tour.
A lesser charge of removing a stale loaf from the work surface was dropped after it was agreed that it had already been decreed as suitable only for animal feed and the chickens decided not to press charges.
The reason that this entry is "totally unexpected" is that Tyson is 30%'s "best girl" who is absolutely perfect and totally incapable of any inappropriate behaviour. The result is that Marauder generally gets the blame. M was therefore quite chuffed to be wandering around the garden as T stood in the dog bath looking somewhat soggy and bedraggled.
---------------
Other Stuff
I made a start on the plastering in the bedroom today and am reasonably pleased with the results. TP has been recruited as Labourer for tomorrow when we plan to break the back of it.
This evening sees another trip over to Warwick Arts Centre. This time to see Ed Byrne's current stand-up tour.
Friday, 29 April 2011
The mission continues ..
... this morning was a quick trip in to the local DIY store to pick up a bag of plaster, a new float and a few other sundries. It was then back to the cell to finish the oiling and waxing, fill in a few of the deeper holes in the plaster work and contemplate the skim coat I will need to apply.
Downstairs TP and 30% were ensconced on the sofa watching the Royal Wedding. Whilst not overly interested most radio stations seemed to think that I should be kept fully informed of progress and should listen to the complete bollocks spouted by some fuckwit in a union jack dress and a hat that sounded like it had been made by someone with "Special Needs".
I'm not a Republican. The thought of who would we would get in place of the Royal Family leaves me in a cold sweat. For Christ's Sake, basically it would be a toss up between President Branson or President Blair and "toss up" was not an accidental choice of words!
Neither am I a staunch Royalist but as they don't really seem to have any particularly negative impact on my life I'm quite happy to pay that 62p per person per year that it apparently costs to have them.
The evening saw a trip over to Warwick Arts Centre to see Mark Thomas perform his Extreme Rambling, Walking the Wall tour. It was a great show as Mark covered his walk along the wall/fence that is being erected by the Israelis around the West Bank and the views of the Israelis and Palestinians that live and work alongside it. It was a great show and the front row seats were brilliant. The only downer were the pissed couple that turned up late and sat behind us. Their frequent comments and interruptions finally drew a barbed comment from Mark but they were obviously too far gone to pick their way through the sarcasm.
Downstairs TP and 30% were ensconced on the sofa watching the Royal Wedding. Whilst not overly interested most radio stations seemed to think that I should be kept fully informed of progress and should listen to the complete bollocks spouted by some fuckwit in a union jack dress and a hat that sounded like it had been made by someone with "Special Needs".
I'm not a Republican. The thought of who would we would get in place of the Royal Family leaves me in a cold sweat. For Christ's Sake, basically it would be a toss up between President Branson or President Blair and "toss up" was not an accidental choice of words!
Neither am I a staunch Royalist but as they don't really seem to have any particularly negative impact on my life I'm quite happy to pay that 62p per person per year that it apparently costs to have them.
The evening saw a trip over to Warwick Arts Centre to see Mark Thomas perform his Extreme Rambling, Walking the Wall tour. It was a great show as Mark covered his walk along the wall/fence that is being erected by the Israelis around the West Bank and the views of the Israelis and Palestinians that live and work alongside it. It was a great show and the front row seats were brilliant. The only downer were the pissed couple that turned up late and sat behind us. Their frequent comments and interruptions finally drew a barbed comment from Mark but they were obviously too far gone to pick their way through the sarcasm.
Thursday, 28 April 2011
Free Lunch
It will come as no surprise that today saw me back in the bedroom filling cracks in the ancient plaster and applying a coat of wax to the cupboards that I have painstakingly stripped, sanded and oiled. We are both really pleased with the results as we have managed to turn a couple of nondescript aspects in the bedroom in to attractive features.
During the morning Chippy Ian phoned to let me know that he would be calling round with the wardrobe doors. This meant that I had to have a quick tidy up and clear some space as he wants to let them acclimatise in the room before they are fixed to the carcass that he built last week.
After Ian had left I continued with my waxing mission and was again disturbed by the 'phone. This time it was my Dad. He had been over to a friend's farm to pick up half a pig and had come back with a rabbit carcass as well. He couldn't be bothered to skin and joint it and asked if I was interested. I gratefully accepted and popped over later in the afternoon to collect the bunny.
Twenty minutes with a sharp knife and I had a jointed rabbit bagged up and sat in the freezer. I'm wondering whether the Guanciale would make a suitable companion ingredient to add some richness to the rabbit.
During the morning Chippy Ian phoned to let me know that he would be calling round with the wardrobe doors. This meant that I had to have a quick tidy up and clear some space as he wants to let them acclimatise in the room before they are fixed to the carcass that he built last week.
After Ian had left I continued with my waxing mission and was again disturbed by the 'phone. This time it was my Dad. He had been over to a friend's farm to pick up half a pig and had come back with a rabbit carcass as well. He couldn't be bothered to skin and joint it and asked if I was interested. I gratefully accepted and popped over later in the afternoon to collect the bunny.
Twenty minutes with a sharp knife and I had a jointed rabbit bagged up and sat in the freezer. I'm wondering whether the Guanciale would make a suitable companion ingredient to add some richness to the rabbit.
Wednesday, 27 April 2011
Eureka
It was an early start this morning as T&M were booked in at the Pet Groomers at eight thirty for a Lamb Clip.
It was then back home and today's mission was to repair the floor boards. Over the years Plumbers and Sparkies have left some of the boards in a dreadful state as they have completed heating installations and re-wiring. I have a supply of elm boards in the garage that were lifted from the Landing during the extension building in 2008 and some of these have been used to replace boards that have either been ravaged by woodworm or careless tradesmen or both.
So most of today has been spent lifting split and generally knackered boards, cutting new ones to width and length and carefully screwing them down avoiding the myriad of pipes and cables that sit beneath them.
As I was nearing the end of this job a short length of board popped up disturbed by the insertion of a replacement. I lifted the board to remove the crappy nails and screws and fix it down properly when I had my Eureka moment.....
...... When we had the extension built we had coaxial cables run from "aerial" sockets in the Lounge and TP's bedroom. The original plan was to use these to route the satellite signal from the decoder in the Lounge to TP and our bedrooms. During the building work in 2007/08 I recall asking that these cables were left coiled under the floor in our bedroom.
Ever since we removed the bedroom carpet after the ceiling was replastered in March I have been peering under boards with a torch trying to locate these cables. To date I had found nothing and had reached the point of writing off the plan to pipe Sky to the bedrooms.
It was therefore a delight to find the cables under the "popped" board. It was a matter of a few minutes work to run the cables to an appropriate point in the room where they can be spliced to form the critical link between the three rooms.
All I need to do now is to pop in to the DIY store and pick up a few coaxial connectors tomorrow.
We sampled the Guanciale (cured pigs cheeks) that I finished curing last week. A few thin rashers were cut off and fried....
.... and the verdict, I am never making brawn again! I like brawn but from now on Guanciale is the thing to do with a pigs head. The bacon it produced is fantastic and will make beautiful lardons for Italian dishes. I feel a Carbonara turning up on the menu in the next day or so.
It was then back home and today's mission was to repair the floor boards. Over the years Plumbers and Sparkies have left some of the boards in a dreadful state as they have completed heating installations and re-wiring. I have a supply of elm boards in the garage that were lifted from the Landing during the extension building in 2008 and some of these have been used to replace boards that have either been ravaged by woodworm or careless tradesmen or both.
So most of today has been spent lifting split and generally knackered boards, cutting new ones to width and length and carefully screwing them down avoiding the myriad of pipes and cables that sit beneath them.
As I was nearing the end of this job a short length of board popped up disturbed by the insertion of a replacement. I lifted the board to remove the crappy nails and screws and fix it down properly when I had my Eureka moment.....
...... When we had the extension built we had coaxial cables run from "aerial" sockets in the Lounge and TP's bedroom. The original plan was to use these to route the satellite signal from the decoder in the Lounge to TP and our bedrooms. During the building work in 2007/08 I recall asking that these cables were left coiled under the floor in our bedroom.
Ever since we removed the bedroom carpet after the ceiling was replastered in March I have been peering under boards with a torch trying to locate these cables. To date I had found nothing and had reached the point of writing off the plan to pipe Sky to the bedrooms.
It was therefore a delight to find the cables under the "popped" board. It was a matter of a few minutes work to run the cables to an appropriate point in the room where they can be spliced to form the critical link between the three rooms.
All I need to do now is to pop in to the DIY store and pick up a few coaxial connectors tomorrow.
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Other Stuff:We sampled the Guanciale (cured pigs cheeks) that I finished curing last week. A few thin rashers were cut off and fried....
.... and the verdict, I am never making brawn again! I like brawn but from now on Guanciale is the thing to do with a pigs head. The bacon it produced is fantastic and will make beautiful lardons for Italian dishes. I feel a Carbonara turning up on the menu in the next day or so.
Tuesday, 26 April 2011
In and out.
Tuesday saw 30% and I hit the skirting boards in the bedroom. The paint work was dreadful so it was necessary to strip them back to the bare wood and start again from fresh. With a combination of hot air stripper, belt, 1/2 sheet and detail sanders and a couple of hours we had them back to the wood and in a fit state for priming and painting.
Having got them cleaned up I then applied myself to cutting and fixing the skirting board sections for the en-suite doorway aperture. I also threw a few screws in to the skirting boards wherever there was any movement.
It was then time for a walk with T&M and then back home for an early supper.
This evening I had arranged to meet up with Chippy Ian and Mick for a run out on our bikes. I took the Honda as TP wanted to come and the Ducati is only a single seater.
We met up at Ian's a little before 7 o'clock and set off through Badsey and Bretforton before climbing the Cotswold escarpment and travelling through Chipping Camden and on over to Shipston on Stour. We then took the lanes through Brailes and stopped briefly at the Rollright Stones. We then headed back with a stop for coffee at Moreton-in-Marsh before descending "The Fish" and heading back in to The Vale.
It was a great run out although it turned very cool later on and the coffee at Moreton was a welcome warmer.
Having got them cleaned up I then applied myself to cutting and fixing the skirting board sections for the en-suite doorway aperture. I also threw a few screws in to the skirting boards wherever there was any movement.
It was then time for a walk with T&M and then back home for an early supper.
This evening I had arranged to meet up with Chippy Ian and Mick for a run out on our bikes. I took the Honda as TP wanted to come and the Ducati is only a single seater.
We met up at Ian's a little before 7 o'clock and set off through Badsey and Bretforton before climbing the Cotswold escarpment and travelling through Chipping Camden and on over to Shipston on Stour. We then took the lanes through Brailes and stopped briefly at the Rollright Stones. We then headed back with a stop for coffee at Moreton-in-Marsh before descending "The Fish" and heading back in to The Vale.
It was a great run out although it turned very cool later on and the coffee at Moreton was a welcome warmer.
Monday, 25 April 2011
True Grit .....
.... and determination.
Monday marks the third day of the prep work.
I took T&M for an early walk and then clambered in to the bedroom. I suppose I need to add that the two doorways have been "tented", with dust sheets taped over the outside, so that the doors and frames can be rubbed down without the pervasive dust and grit filling the rest of the house.
It is not a fun job. It is hot and filthy and you are either balancing on a set of steps or are hunched on hands and knees. There seems to be very little middle ground.
Today I think we finally turned a corner but there is still a long way to go. 30% joined me and volunteered for the stripping of the window sills and the skirting boards. I persevered with the two cupboards and the door on to the landing and after lunch I actually vacuumed them "free" of dust and applied the first coat of oil to the bare wood.
The oil really brings out the colour and grain of the old timber and I would like to say that it has spurred me on but I take a lingering look at the skirting boards and shudder.
Monday marks the third day of the prep work.
I took T&M for an early walk and then clambered in to the bedroom. I suppose I need to add that the two doorways have been "tented", with dust sheets taped over the outside, so that the doors and frames can be rubbed down without the pervasive dust and grit filling the rest of the house.
It is not a fun job. It is hot and filthy and you are either balancing on a set of steps or are hunched on hands and knees. There seems to be very little middle ground.
Today I think we finally turned a corner but there is still a long way to go. 30% joined me and volunteered for the stripping of the window sills and the skirting boards. I persevered with the two cupboards and the door on to the landing and after lunch I actually vacuumed them "free" of dust and applied the first coat of oil to the bare wood.
The oil really brings out the colour and grain of the old timber and I would like to say that it has spurred me on but I take a lingering look at the skirting boards and shudder.
Sunday, 24 April 2011
Weekend Round Up
Saturday; St Georges Day.
As previously advised, The Journal is likely to be less than exciting over the Easter Break as I have a mountain of decoration preparation to get through. I finally finished stripping the door frame and then 30% and I nipped over to Alcester to choose a light fitting for the bedroom. I then returned and spent a "happy" couple of hours making good the ceiling of one of the cupboards that had been somewhatdestroyed damaged during the replastering of the bedroom ceiling a few weeks back by Andy & Steve.
I finally emerged from a very gritty, cramped space with enough time to take T&M around the Three Miler before I showered and shaved for the St Georges Day "Do".
"C" is a somewhat eccentric but delightful CBE who is in his late 70s and arranges both the Burns Night and the St Georges Day celebrations at one of the local pubs. These both follow a similar theme with a set menu, a few speeches, a load of drink and many laughs. 30%, TP, Jules and I are lucky enough to be on the guest list for these occasions so we all turned up at The Old Bull for a lovely evening of food, wine and discourse.
TP had spent the past week with his Mum and Grandma and arrived home in time for this Spring festivity.
I'm not really one for celebrations but St Georges Day now has quite a degree of significance for us as it is the anniversary of the date that TP came to live with us after a particularly lengthy and unpleasant Court Case resulting in a Residency Order. Saturday marks the fourth anniversary of the day that TP came to live with us.
And so, after a boozy night, we all rolled in to our beds to wake on Easter Sunday.
Before the "prep" work continued there were gifts of Easter Eggs and the chickens provided an appropriate breakfast; boiled for 30% and poached for TP and I. After breakfast it was back to the grind.
Having finished the stripping in the bedroom, Sunday marked the start of sanding. It is a grim job. Even with power sanders it is a grim job. I have a random orbit, a half sheet, a belt and a detail sander and every one of them will get used in the preparation work in the bedroom. I have two door frames, two doors and a cupboard to sand. Of these, only one door frame will be painted. Every thing else needs to be sanded clean of paint and smooth enough for an oil and wax finish. It will look fantastic when it is finished but is is a grim, dusty ordeal. Having stripped the wood it is a dusty progression through 80 then 120 and finally 240 grade abrasives to reach a silky smooth finish.
There will be more sanding to come as we still need to do the skirting boards and the wardrobe will need a "tickle" once Chippy Ian has affixed the doors.
I emerged from the bedroom around 5 in the evening and was literally coated from head to toe with orange saw dust. The first beer didn't last long!
30% served a splendid Easter Roast and I set this down slumped on the sofa eyeing a Madagascar vanilla and white chocolate egg on the shelf to my right.
As previously advised, The Journal is likely to be less than exciting over the Easter Break as I have a mountain of decoration preparation to get through. I finally finished stripping the door frame and then 30% and I nipped over to Alcester to choose a light fitting for the bedroom. I then returned and spent a "happy" couple of hours making good the ceiling of one of the cupboards that had been somewhat
I finally emerged from a very gritty, cramped space with enough time to take T&M around the Three Miler before I showered and shaved for the St Georges Day "Do".
"C" is a somewhat eccentric but delightful CBE who is in his late 70s and arranges both the Burns Night and the St Georges Day celebrations at one of the local pubs. These both follow a similar theme with a set menu, a few speeches, a load of drink and many laughs. 30%, TP, Jules and I are lucky enough to be on the guest list for these occasions so we all turned up at The Old Bull for a lovely evening of food, wine and discourse.
TP had spent the past week with his Mum and Grandma and arrived home in time for this Spring festivity.
I'm not really one for celebrations but St Georges Day now has quite a degree of significance for us as it is the anniversary of the date that TP came to live with us after a particularly lengthy and unpleasant Court Case resulting in a Residency Order. Saturday marks the fourth anniversary of the day that TP came to live with us.
And so, after a boozy night, we all rolled in to our beds to wake on Easter Sunday.
Before the "prep" work continued there were gifts of Easter Eggs and the chickens provided an appropriate breakfast; boiled for 30% and poached for TP and I. After breakfast it was back to the grind.
Having finished the stripping in the bedroom, Sunday marked the start of sanding. It is a grim job. Even with power sanders it is a grim job. I have a random orbit, a half sheet, a belt and a detail sander and every one of them will get used in the preparation work in the bedroom. I have two door frames, two doors and a cupboard to sand. Of these, only one door frame will be painted. Every thing else needs to be sanded clean of paint and smooth enough for an oil and wax finish. It will look fantastic when it is finished but is is a grim, dusty ordeal. Having stripped the wood it is a dusty progression through 80 then 120 and finally 240 grade abrasives to reach a silky smooth finish.
There will be more sanding to come as we still need to do the skirting boards and the wardrobe will need a "tickle" once Chippy Ian has affixed the doors.
I emerged from the bedroom around 5 in the evening and was literally coated from head to toe with orange saw dust. The first beer didn't last long!
30% served a splendid Easter Roast and I set this down slumped on the sofa eyeing a Madagascar vanilla and white chocolate egg on the shelf to my right.
Friday, 22 April 2011
Be prepared for a tedious few days .........
..... as 30% and I will be focused on the preparation work in the bedroom in advance of the Decorators visit in about three weeks time. The Journal is therefore likely to get more repetitive than usual
This morning we went in to Stratford to pick up a few essentials from the DIY store and coffee beans from Whittards. It was then home for a light lunch and back in to Bedroom#1until the weather cooled down enough for the dogs to be walked.
Today's job has been the stripping of the door frame and the repair of the architrave as we have replaced the door and changed from a rim lock to a Suffolk Latch. This means that I have a 4" chunk of an antique architrave to replace now the rim lock has been discarded. Fortunately I have a few pieces in the garage and with a few pins and some wood filler all will be well. As my Dad says "It's a good job Painters follow Carpenters".
Away from the decorating mission, I finished the dry curing of the piece of belly pork and pigs cheeks this evening. These have now been washed, soaked, dried and wrapped in muslin and will now be hung in the garage for a week or so before slicing or cubing or smoking or whatever else I decide to do with them.
The Belly is most likely to be left as green bacon and simply sliced to become rashers of streaky. The cured cheek is an experiment and, at the moment, I am planning on cubing it and using it like lardons of pancetta would be used in cooking. Apparently Guanciali (cured pigs' cheeks) is one of the ingredients in a pukka Spaghetti Carbonara so I may be trying one of those at the back end of the week.
This morning we went in to Stratford to pick up a few essentials from the DIY store and coffee beans from Whittards. It was then home for a light lunch and back in to Bedroom#1until the weather cooled down enough for the dogs to be walked.
Today's job has been the stripping of the door frame and the repair of the architrave as we have replaced the door and changed from a rim lock to a Suffolk Latch. This means that I have a 4" chunk of an antique architrave to replace now the rim lock has been discarded. Fortunately I have a few pieces in the garage and with a few pins and some wood filler all will be well. As my Dad says "It's a good job Painters follow Carpenters".
Away from the decorating mission, I finished the dry curing of the piece of belly pork and pigs cheeks this evening. These have now been washed, soaked, dried and wrapped in muslin and will now be hung in the garage for a week or so before slicing or cubing or smoking or whatever else I decide to do with them.
The Belly is most likely to be left as green bacon and simply sliced to become rashers of streaky. The cured cheek is an experiment and, at the moment, I am planning on cubing it and using it like lardons of pancetta would be used in cooking. Apparently Guanciali (cured pigs' cheeks) is one of the ingredients in a pukka Spaghetti Carbonara so I may be trying one of those at the back end of the week.
Thursday, 21 April 2011
Zen and the art of the Conference Call
Down in the Hundred Acre Wood Golfy (aka Tigger) and I have been tidying up before we try to spend a good few days climbing the oaks and sitting in the sun enjoying the almost merged Easter and May Bank Holiday break.
We held a few conference calls and it became apparent how similar they are to the game of Pooh Sticks. Let me explain; firstly to play Pooh Sticks you need a bridge. Bridges are useful things and it became apparent on one of our calls that my job is to build metaphorical bridges. Even though I am apparently working with adults who are capable of looking after themselves they seem to be totally unable to contact people whose names they know without me formally introducing them and making the initial contact for them. For God's sake this is a truly archaic situation where I am required to chaperone or match-make these initial meetings. So there you have it building the bridges so we can play Pooh Sticks.
Now once we get the conference call up and running you learn that a stick has two ends; a nice end and a not so nice end - hence the name of the game; Pooh Sticks. On a conference call you need to understand the rules so that you always end up with the pleasant end of the stick. A few key tips are as follows:-
What do you mean, you thought it was about the first one to get their stick under the bridge? For Christ's sake if you are hunting Nelifunt you need to be playing advanced Pooh Sticks.
We held a few conference calls and it became apparent how similar they are to the game of Pooh Sticks. Let me explain; firstly to play Pooh Sticks you need a bridge. Bridges are useful things and it became apparent on one of our calls that my job is to build metaphorical bridges. Even though I am apparently working with adults who are capable of looking after themselves they seem to be totally unable to contact people whose names they know without me formally introducing them and making the initial contact for them. For God's sake this is a truly archaic situation where I am required to chaperone or match-make these initial meetings. So there you have it building the bridges so we can play Pooh Sticks.
Now once we get the conference call up and running you learn that a stick has two ends; a nice end and a not so nice end - hence the name of the game; Pooh Sticks. On a conference call you need to understand the rules so that you always end up with the pleasant end of the stick. A few key tips are as follows:-
- always draft the actions/minutes. It might seem like a slog but you get to put your particular slant on the narrative and get to allocate the actions
- always ask for feedback on the accuracy of you minutes/actions. No-one ever responds so your view of the world must therefore be unquestionably accurate. After all, no-one asked for changes
- always try to host the call and summarise the actions and be sure to allocate the tricky ones to other invitees. I am, after all, a bear with very little brain
- always be at the front of the queue to accept the straightforward actions. You may have ten of them but if you can clear them before elevenses it leaves the rest of the day free for Hunny Sandwiches or planning an Easter Woozle Hunt.
What do you mean, you thought it was about the first one to get their stick under the bridge? For Christ's sake if you are hunting Nelifunt you need to be playing advanced Pooh Sticks.
Wednesday, 20 April 2011
Sharpening our pointed sticks
For a good few days now Golfy and I have been sat high in an oak in the Hundred Acre Wood swinging our legs and telling tales of sword fights and fantastic beasts. We have sat in the sun and looked out over the fields and watching the Villagers running after pheasants and rabbits.
This small game is not for us. Its Hunny or nuthing for Golfy and me. Actually we are after a Nelifunt but we need Christopher Robin to start the hunt so here we sit in the dappled sun light imagining the hunt and laughing at the Villagers chasing small game along the hedgerows.
Today Judge Dread sat astride his Lawmaster with his holstered Lawgivers at his hips and rode from Mega City One to the Hundred Acre Wood. We were expecting the worst and many of the woodland creatures had secreted themselves in burrows and warrens in fear of his roar ..........
.............. "I am the Law!"
Golfy and I steeled ourselves and climbed down from the oak and wandered towards the glade where the fallen beech makes a great seat for planning the Nelifunt hunt. Eventually Dread turned up and we were expecting the worst. We were somewhat surprised to find that he had been spending his evenings preparing a leaflet on community policing and had some very good suggestions for us preventing antisocial behaviour and limiting the chances of shed theft.
Experience thus far has been that Judge Dread has taken his role as Judge, Jury and Executioner very seriously but he now appears to be confusing his roles and the cryo-rehabilitation in Demolition Man appears to have taken effect and he now appears to be more interested in us having a successful Nelifunt Hunt than telling us that we are a shower of shit with no chance of hitting a barn door at twenty paces.
I am guessing that this is probably a little on the cryptic side for most readers but if you are hunting a Bull Nelifunt and there are other hunters out there you lie low in the long grass and do your best to make sure that you are down wind and have a clear sight on the target. All we need now is for Christopher Robin to declare "open season"
This small game is not for us. Its Hunny or nuthing for Golfy and me. Actually we are after a Nelifunt but we need Christopher Robin to start the hunt so here we sit in the dappled sun light imagining the hunt and laughing at the Villagers chasing small game along the hedgerows.
Today Judge Dread sat astride his Lawmaster with his holstered Lawgivers at his hips and rode from Mega City One to the Hundred Acre Wood. We were expecting the worst and many of the woodland creatures had secreted themselves in burrows and warrens in fear of his roar ..........
.............. "I am the Law!"
Golfy and I steeled ourselves and climbed down from the oak and wandered towards the glade where the fallen beech makes a great seat for planning the Nelifunt hunt. Eventually Dread turned up and we were expecting the worst. We were somewhat surprised to find that he had been spending his evenings preparing a leaflet on community policing and had some very good suggestions for us preventing antisocial behaviour and limiting the chances of shed theft.
Experience thus far has been that Judge Dread has taken his role as Judge, Jury and Executioner very seriously but he now appears to be confusing his roles and the cryo-rehabilitation in Demolition Man appears to have taken effect and he now appears to be more interested in us having a successful Nelifunt Hunt than telling us that we are a shower of shit with no chance of hitting a barn door at twenty paces.
I am guessing that this is probably a little on the cryptic side for most readers but if you are hunting a Bull Nelifunt and there are other hunters out there you lie low in the long grass and do your best to make sure that you are down wind and have a clear sight on the target. All we need now is for Christopher Robin to declare "open season"
Tuesday, 19 April 2011
Tuesday has been just one social whirl.
In between work tasks I had lunch with my Dad and also went over to a timber yard with Chippy Ian to pick up the oak for the fitted wardrobe that he is constructing in the bedroom. £300 lighter we returned and I continued with work.
Chippy Ian is a fellow Biker and he asked if I wanted to link up with him and one of his friends for a run out this evening. The tax disk had arrived for the Ducati in the past couple of days and I had been looking for an opportunity to break her out from under her dust sheet so watches were synchronised and a rendezvous point was selected.
This resulted in a mad dash out of the door as soon as CI had finished for the day so that T&M could get their, and my, daily constitutional. I arrived home at a little before six and had about 30 minutes to rehydrate, get the Ducati started, checked over and warmed up and throw myself in to my boots and leathers before setting out towards Ian's house.
It was a beautiful evening and we set off out through Evesham and Pershore before heading out through Bredon and Ashchurch and then climbing up in to the Costwolds via Winchcombe. Sudeley Castle was a fine site settled in the landscape under the evening sun.
A quick stop at a pub for a coffee and then a run home via Stow on the Wold, down The Fish and back in to The Vale.
It was great to be back on the Ducati but, to be honest, the roads were probablymore appropriate to the Honda as the Ducati is a little "focussed" and far better suited to fast open roads and flowing turns rather than Cotswold Lanes. Still a great evening and I look forward to the next one.
In between work tasks I had lunch with my Dad and also went over to a timber yard with Chippy Ian to pick up the oak for the fitted wardrobe that he is constructing in the bedroom. £300 lighter we returned and I continued with work.
Chippy Ian is a fellow Biker and he asked if I wanted to link up with him and one of his friends for a run out this evening. The tax disk had arrived for the Ducati in the past couple of days and I had been looking for an opportunity to break her out from under her dust sheet so watches were synchronised and a rendezvous point was selected.
This resulted in a mad dash out of the door as soon as CI had finished for the day so that T&M could get their, and my, daily constitutional. I arrived home at a little before six and had about 30 minutes to rehydrate, get the Ducati started, checked over and warmed up and throw myself in to my boots and leathers before setting out towards Ian's house.
It was a beautiful evening and we set off out through Evesham and Pershore before heading out through Bredon and Ashchurch and then climbing up in to the Costwolds via Winchcombe. Sudeley Castle was a fine site settled in the landscape under the evening sun.
A quick stop at a pub for a coffee and then a run home via Stow on the Wold, down The Fish and back in to The Vale.
It was great to be back on the Ducati but, to be honest, the roads were probablymore appropriate to the Honda as the Ducati is a little "focussed" and far better suited to fast open roads and flowing turns rather than Cotswold Lanes. Still a great evening and I look forward to the next one.
Monday, 18 April 2011
Nearly There
Monday and it is back to work after a very productive weekend.
At present we are waiting for out client to make a decision and are in a "holding pattern". I am doing what I can but, to be honest, I am having problems getting motivated as all of this could be for nothing if the decision goes against us.
So Golfy & I* are sat on a branch at the edge of the Hundred Acre Wood swinging our feet and shooting the breeze after inviting Piglet & Roo** to a party that might not happen.
It is very frustrating to be under utilised as there is a mountain of work to do at home. To sit here on tick over when I can see so many DIY jobs that need doing does make me feel somewhat constrained. However, Chippy Ian is here and making great progress on the wardrobe carcass. He has sole rights to the bedroom from 8 until 4 so any DIY on my "to do" list can only be progressed in the evening.
Mind you, no DIY this evening as T&M return to puppy training after a long lay off due to various reasons including "seasons" and a Peter Kay gig.
**A couple of European colleagues who's specialist knowledge will be needed if we have to make Hunny sandwiches in a weeks time.
At present we are waiting for out client to make a decision and are in a "holding pattern". I am doing what I can but, to be honest, I am having problems getting motivated as all of this could be for nothing if the decision goes against us.
So Golfy & I* are sat on a branch at the edge of the Hundred Acre Wood swinging our feet and shooting the breeze after inviting Piglet & Roo** to a party that might not happen.
It is very frustrating to be under utilised as there is a mountain of work to do at home. To sit here on tick over when I can see so many DIY jobs that need doing does make me feel somewhat constrained. However, Chippy Ian is here and making great progress on the wardrobe carcass. He has sole rights to the bedroom from 8 until 4 so any DIY on my "to do" list can only be progressed in the evening.
Mind you, no DIY this evening as T&M return to puppy training after a long lay off due to various reasons including "seasons" and a Peter Kay gig.
------------------------
* I'll leave it to you to decide who is Tigger and who is Pooh.**A couple of European colleagues who's specialist knowledge will be needed if we have to make Hunny sandwiches in a weeks time.
Sunday, 17 April 2011
DIY
This morning was the final Sunday Rugby session of the season. It was a training session so there was no rush and we turned up at tennish.
TP went off to lark around with his team mates and 30% and I took T&M for a quick romp around the fields behind the pitches.
On our return it was a quick lunch and then back in to the bedroom ..... easy tiger ..... back in to the bedroom to finish off the electrics. The final spur was connected up and I applied myself to the task of stripping. I finished the larger of the two cupboard doors and removed it from its hinges and took it outside for sanding. The random orbit sander has made a fantastic job of removing the final traces of primer and it will look beautiful once it has been oiled and finished. Unfortunately the Velcro on the sanding plate of my detail sander gave up the ghost so I cannot finish the door. I need to find a replacement pretty quickly as there is a massive amount of sanding to be done. I see a return trip to Screwfix on the horizon.
Whilst stripping ........ easy tiger ...... Chippy Ian phoned and advised that a job he had planned for Monday had been delayed. Every cloud has a sliver lining as this means that he will be turning up tomorrow morning to make a start on the fitted wardrobes in the bedroom.
I have now managed to get myself outside of a Leffe Blonde and a glass of something pink .... don't ask .... it was in the fridge and had an ABV percentage - nuff said.
TP went off to lark around with his team mates and 30% and I took T&M for a quick romp around the fields behind the pitches.
On our return it was a quick lunch and then back in to the bedroom ..... easy tiger ..... back in to the bedroom to finish off the electrics. The final spur was connected up and I applied myself to the task of stripping. I finished the larger of the two cupboard doors and removed it from its hinges and took it outside for sanding. The random orbit sander has made a fantastic job of removing the final traces of primer and it will look beautiful once it has been oiled and finished. Unfortunately the Velcro on the sanding plate of my detail sander gave up the ghost so I cannot finish the door. I need to find a replacement pretty quickly as there is a massive amount of sanding to be done. I see a return trip to Screwfix on the horizon.
Whilst stripping ........ easy tiger ...... Chippy Ian phoned and advised that a job he had planned for Monday had been delayed. Every cloud has a sliver lining as this means that he will be turning up tomorrow morning to make a start on the fitted wardrobes in the bedroom.
I have now managed to get myself outside of a Leffe Blonde and a glass of something pink .... don't ask .... it was in the fridge and had an ABV percentage - nuff said.
Saturday, 16 April 2011
Elastic Trickery
Andy & Steve are booked in to decorate the Bedroom starting on the 17th of May and that date is galloping towards us.
I have a huge amount of preparation to complete before they turn up as they are expecting to perform a quick whizz over the wood with sandpaper and then break out the emulsion and satin wood. My Job List is as follows:-
I have a huge amount of preparation to complete before they turn up as they are expecting to perform a quick whizz over the wood with sandpaper and then break out the emulsion and satin wood. My Job List is as follows:-
- Sand both doors, apply Danish Oil and then finish with a coat of wax
- Strip and sand the door frame
- Strip, sand, oil and wax the two window sills
- Strip both cupboards, sand, oil and wax
- Replace the two surface mounted sockets with recessed boxes and new double sockets
- Install a junction box in the ring main and run off two spurs terminating in double sockets; one to be recessed below the TV bracket and the other in a flush mounted box that will ultimately be built in to the end wall of the wardrobe
- Install a pendant light fitting
- Replace the Pull switch over the bed
- Floorboard refurbishment
- Fit skirting boards in to the en-suite doorway recess
As can be seen, there is a fair bit to do and this is without the built in wardrobes that Chippy Ian has been booked in to build and the fiddly little jobs like filling cracks and holes.
I have made a start on the list and am pleased to say that the two cupboards are already stripped but today I took a break from the heat gun and the shave hook and applied myself to the elastic trickery.
I took myself down to the local DIY store and returned with new sockets, socket boxes, 2.5 mm, twin core and earth cable and light fittings and have been as happy as the proverbial pig pottering around replacing the ugly and obtrusive surface mounted boxes with neat flush mounted sockets. I have installed a junction box in the ring and installed one of the two spurs. I have sorted out the cable run for the second spur and plan to install the socket box and connect that all up tomorrow. A light pendant has also been fitted.
I've still got a lot of sanding and waxing to do but have broken the back of the electrical work.
Friday, 15 April 2011
Guanciale
Guanci what? ....
..... Let me explain. I got a call from Cathy H-R yesterday and she advised that the half pig that we had ordered would be available for collection this evening. At half past five I picked up the cheque book and drove over to pick up the carcass. Cathy had slaughtered a couple of pigs and most of her customers are only really interested in the prime cuts. As a result, for my £70, I left with the half of the largest pig plus both heads and all of the trotters.
Now, what do I do with two pigs heads? I have previously made brawn, but on this occasion I had something more unusual planned; Guanciale. Guanciale is an Italian dish and is basically cured pig's cheeks. I mixed up a batch of dry cure and prepared the cheeks by removing the jaw bones. I also had a piece of belly pork spare so that got de-boned and cured to provide either pancetta or a few rashers of streaky.
Once the meat has been prepped it was well rubbed with the dry cure and stacked in a plastic box in the fridge. It will be rubbed with cure every day for the next week before being washed and air dried. It will be a month in the case of the Guanciale but the pancetta will only be hung for a week or so before being smoked and eaten.
The Guanciale is likely to be cut in to lardons so realistically the belly pork is most likely not to attain it's Italian pancetta aspirations and remain as a definitely very English streaky bacon.
As for the rest of the head, TP has taken the ears, rubbed them with olive oil and has baked them in a low oven as a treat for T&M and 30% is roasting the rest of the heads and I'm guessing that T&M are in line for those cuts too.
..... Let me explain. I got a call from Cathy H-R yesterday and she advised that the half pig that we had ordered would be available for collection this evening. At half past five I picked up the cheque book and drove over to pick up the carcass. Cathy had slaughtered a couple of pigs and most of her customers are only really interested in the prime cuts. As a result, for my £70, I left with the half of the largest pig plus both heads and all of the trotters.
Now, what do I do with two pigs heads? I have previously made brawn, but on this occasion I had something more unusual planned; Guanciale. Guanciale is an Italian dish and is basically cured pig's cheeks. I mixed up a batch of dry cure and prepared the cheeks by removing the jaw bones. I also had a piece of belly pork spare so that got de-boned and cured to provide either pancetta or a few rashers of streaky.
Once the meat has been prepped it was well rubbed with the dry cure and stacked in a plastic box in the fridge. It will be rubbed with cure every day for the next week before being washed and air dried. It will be a month in the case of the Guanciale but the pancetta will only be hung for a week or so before being smoked and eaten.
The Guanciale is likely to be cut in to lardons so realistically the belly pork is most likely not to attain it's Italian pancetta aspirations and remain as a definitely very English streaky bacon.
As for the rest of the head, TP has taken the ears, rubbed them with olive oil and has baked them in a low oven as a treat for T&M and 30% is roasting the rest of the heads and I'm guessing that T&M are in line for those cuts too.
Thursday, 14 April 2011
Getting There
Another trip to my nearest circle of hell as the Electricity Company had decided to turn off the power for the day so they could clear overhanging trees from the supply lines. This meant that important appliances like the kettle were out of action so the Office seemed a reasonable solution.
I trundled in and perfected the art of multitasking ....
... turn on laptop, initiate training lecture number 5 of 11, mute volume and dial in to manager's weekly call. At the end of the call I had been updated on what my colleagues thought of these lectures and managed to knock off lectures 6 and 7 during an extended coffee break.
That is pretty much how the day progressed. I knocked out minutes and stroppy emails whilst lectures 8 through 11 ran in the background. By three o'clock I was done and the power supply was likely to be restored so bade farewell to my colleagues and came home.
The late afternoon saw me take T&M out for a walk and Chippy Ian and his Wife Deb called in to measure up for the windows that are to be replaced over the Summer. We will finally say goodbye to the plastic, sealed unit monstrosities that were installed about 6 months before we bought The Pile and install casement and sash units that have the benefit of double glazing but are appropriate to the house.
We also have Ian booked in to build the fitted wardrobes in our bedroom before Andy & Steve arrive in late May paint brushes in hand.
All in all I have had a pretty successful day. My domestic ducks are not wonky and I now know where to go and look if need some information on the various technical elements of my job.
I trundled in and perfected the art of multitasking ....
... turn on laptop, initiate training lecture number 5 of 11, mute volume and dial in to manager's weekly call. At the end of the call I had been updated on what my colleagues thought of these lectures and managed to knock off lectures 6 and 7 during an extended coffee break.
That is pretty much how the day progressed. I knocked out minutes and stroppy emails whilst lectures 8 through 11 ran in the background. By three o'clock I was done and the power supply was likely to be restored so bade farewell to my colleagues and came home.
The late afternoon saw me take T&M out for a walk and Chippy Ian and his Wife Deb called in to measure up for the windows that are to be replaced over the Summer. We will finally say goodbye to the plastic, sealed unit monstrosities that were installed about 6 months before we bought The Pile and install casement and sash units that have the benefit of double glazing but are appropriate to the house.
We also have Ian booked in to build the fitted wardrobes in our bedroom before Andy & Steve arrive in late May paint brushes in hand.
All in all I have had a pretty successful day. My domestic ducks are not wonky and I now know where to go and look if need some information on the various technical elements of my job.
Wednesday, 13 April 2011
Rubbing your tummy & patting your head ......
Being a member of an International workforce means that getting us all to use the same tools in the same way is a necessity but also a challenge.
Apparently classroom based training is nowtoo fucking expensive old fashioned and modern alternatives allow the work force to be educated at a time that suits them and with minimal disruption to the day to day business of the Organisation.
Right, enough of the bull shit, are you familiar with the concept of a negative confirmation ? This is where you send someone a letter or email and say "if you don't respond I will assume that, from the 30th April, I will own your immortal soul and all your worldly goods become mine". Basically if you employ the scatter gun approach you will have plenty of souls and quite a lot of capital by the end of the month.
Where I am I going with this? Computer based training, that is where I am going with this.
This is the educational equivalent of the "negative confirmation". You send all your victims a web link and a "complete by date". Then you wait until the "complete by date" and resend the link and a new CBD. You repeat a couple more times and then send a threatening email and a "drop dead date" and then you are able to report back that all of yourvictims employees have been trained and are fully skilled in the new process for rolling rocks up a hill.
This, of course, is absolute bollocks. I am afraid that it is difficult to give a precise translation for "bollocks" to any US readers so I will suggest that you go with "nonsense" but you probably need to be aware that bollocks has many uses from noun to verb to adjective and depending on the context it can appear to be totally contradictory. It's a British thing, dont get up tight just be aware that in this instance I mean nonsense.
Education is where a the students are assessed for their current level of understanding in a particular subject. They may know nothing, a little or a lot. From this assessment a clear set of educational aims or goals are developed based on increasing the level of knowledge in the aforementioned subject. Using this defined knowledge gap a syllabus is constructed that allows the student to gain knowledge and understanding. The syllabus is then developed in to lectures and practicals and so forth and presented in a way that allows the Tutor to check the progress of the student and ensure that knowledge is being gained.
Sending me a link to a PowerPoint Presentation is not education it is akin to chucking a book over the fence and hoping that someone picks it up and reads it. This approach is appalling. Let me explain ....
..... I find a slot in my day to "be educated". I click on the link and a window opens up. I am told the duration of the presentation and the number of slides. I click on the start button and off we go ....
.... yep, "off we go to sleep" or "off we go to do something else" or "off we go to cut off our own heads". There is no interaction it is just a charmless presenter in transmit mode. There is no opportunity to stop them or ask a question and it is so easy to loose track as you ponder on a point made a little to long and then loose track of the narrative. That is if you are lucky enough to have a narrative that corresponds to the material on the slides. It might sound odd but thebest least worst of these presentations is where the Presenter just reads the slides. There are some where the Presenter's narrative has little relevance to the slide being shown and you are then trying to listen to a narrative whilst reading a slide that bears no relation to the words you are hearing.
It is like watching TV whilst listening to talk radio or patting your head while trying to rub your stomach. It can be done but it is not conducive to taking on new facts.
Also these presentations are given by Manager rather than professional educators. None of this material has been properly developed or assessed for it's value and combined with a one-way delivery method means that little or nothing gets taken on board.
Add in to this the fact that despite setting the status message on my instant messenger to say I am being educatedtwats people still ping me to ask me inane questions and then ping again when I don't respond in the next six seconds.
You may have guessed that I am not having fun and I have several more hours of this to get through. The frustraing thing is that the material is important and useful but it is just so badly put together and delivered via a totally unsuitable medium.
Apparently classroom based training is now
Right, enough of the bull shit, are you familiar with the concept of a negative confirmation ? This is where you send someone a letter or email and say "if you don't respond I will assume that, from the 30th April, I will own your immortal soul and all your worldly goods become mine". Basically if you employ the scatter gun approach you will have plenty of souls and quite a lot of capital by the end of the month.
Where I am I going with this? Computer based training, that is where I am going with this.
This is the educational equivalent of the "negative confirmation". You send all your victims a web link and a "complete by date". Then you wait until the "complete by date" and resend the link and a new CBD. You repeat a couple more times and then send a threatening email and a "drop dead date" and then you are able to report back that all of your
This, of course, is absolute bollocks. I am afraid that it is difficult to give a precise translation for "bollocks" to any US readers so I will suggest that you go with "nonsense" but you probably need to be aware that bollocks has many uses from noun to verb to adjective and depending on the context it can appear to be totally contradictory. It's a British thing, dont get up tight just be aware that in this instance I mean nonsense.
Education is where a the students are assessed for their current level of understanding in a particular subject. They may know nothing, a little or a lot. From this assessment a clear set of educational aims or goals are developed based on increasing the level of knowledge in the aforementioned subject. Using this defined knowledge gap a syllabus is constructed that allows the student to gain knowledge and understanding. The syllabus is then developed in to lectures and practicals and so forth and presented in a way that allows the Tutor to check the progress of the student and ensure that knowledge is being gained.
Sending me a link to a PowerPoint Presentation is not education it is akin to chucking a book over the fence and hoping that someone picks it up and reads it. This approach is appalling. Let me explain ....
..... I find a slot in my day to "be educated". I click on the link and a window opens up. I am told the duration of the presentation and the number of slides. I click on the start button and off we go ....
.... yep, "off we go to sleep" or "off we go to do something else" or "off we go to cut off our own heads". There is no interaction it is just a charmless presenter in transmit mode. There is no opportunity to stop them or ask a question and it is so easy to loose track as you ponder on a point made a little to long and then loose track of the narrative. That is if you are lucky enough to have a narrative that corresponds to the material on the slides. It might sound odd but the
It is like watching TV whilst listening to talk radio or patting your head while trying to rub your stomach. It can be done but it is not conducive to taking on new facts.
Also these presentations are given by Manager rather than professional educators. None of this material has been properly developed or assessed for it's value and combined with a one-way delivery method means that little or nothing gets taken on board.
Add in to this the fact that despite setting the status message on my instant messenger to say I am being educated
You may have guessed that I am not having fun and I have several more hours of this to get through. The frustraing thing is that the material is important and useful but it is just so badly put together and delivered via a totally unsuitable medium.
Tuesday, 12 April 2011
Its a raid!
No journal entry yesterday as it was work, followed by a quick walk for T&M, a rushed dinner and then in to the car and over to the NIA in Birmingham for the last night of the Peter Kay "Tour that doesn't tour tour".
I feel that the NIA must be quite daunting for a stand-up comedian. It must be a challenge to form a connection with an audience in a venue of that size and get them to go with you on that journey that is a successful stand up set. A few years back I saw Eddie Izzard in the same venue and it just didn't seem to work. I am a huge fan of Eddie but he just seemed too remote and the laughs just didn't flow.
Now Peter Kay seems to have an ability to bond with the audience from the start. Within seconds he had the audience laughing with some atrocious old gags and then smoothly transitioned to his material that had "in joke" references to previous tours and was based on his unique observational approach. It was a great night and the audience loved him. If I am honest I would say that it was not his best material but it was acutely observed, beautifully paced and perfectly timed and it was still consistently "laugh out loud" funny.
Today involved a trip to my nearest circle of hell to link up with Golfy and spend a happy few hours reviewing and revising a vast amount of risks, assumptions, issues and dependencies associated with the current project. With over 250 lines of information to cover we felt that it was best to do this face to face rather than attempt it via a phone call.
The Defender had an air of a mobile shop this morning as there was a dozen eggs for the Gloucester Boy and a sample of Black Pudding Sausages to see if he can be persuaded to appreciate the charms of the blood sausage.
Visiting the local "ish" circle of hell turned a real chore in to a reasonably tolerable task as The Boer and Grand Dad Jack were both on site and lunch and coffee breaks degenerated in to raucous laughter as we told tall and bawdy tales and generally took the mickey out of each other. This was a welcome relief from the spreadsheet review and we ended the day having done a great piece of work and also having managed to have a few laughs too.
I feel that the NIA must be quite daunting for a stand-up comedian. It must be a challenge to form a connection with an audience in a venue of that size and get them to go with you on that journey that is a successful stand up set. A few years back I saw Eddie Izzard in the same venue and it just didn't seem to work. I am a huge fan of Eddie but he just seemed too remote and the laughs just didn't flow.
Now Peter Kay seems to have an ability to bond with the audience from the start. Within seconds he had the audience laughing with some atrocious old gags and then smoothly transitioned to his material that had "in joke" references to previous tours and was based on his unique observational approach. It was a great night and the audience loved him. If I am honest I would say that it was not his best material but it was acutely observed, beautifully paced and perfectly timed and it was still consistently "laugh out loud" funny.
Today involved a trip to my nearest circle of hell to link up with Golfy and spend a happy few hours reviewing and revising a vast amount of risks, assumptions, issues and dependencies associated with the current project. With over 250 lines of information to cover we felt that it was best to do this face to face rather than attempt it via a phone call.
The Defender had an air of a mobile shop this morning as there was a dozen eggs for the Gloucester Boy and a sample of Black Pudding Sausages to see if he can be persuaded to appreciate the charms of the blood sausage.
Visiting the local "ish" circle of hell turned a real chore in to a reasonably tolerable task as The Boer and Grand Dad Jack were both on site and lunch and coffee breaks degenerated in to raucous laughter as we told tall and bawdy tales and generally took the mickey out of each other. This was a welcome relief from the spreadsheet review and we ended the day having done a great piece of work and also having managed to have a few laughs too.
Sunday, 10 April 2011
Mad Sunday
Today's Journal Entry title comes from the one day during the Isle of Man TT races when any individual can ride Mountain Section of the course.....
..... The Pile is located alongside a popular route with motorcyclists. I see them and hear them and, when time allows, I join them on one or other of my bikes.
So today was quite frustrating because the weather was glorious but I had a mountain of cooking that I needed to get done before I got anywhere near a motorcycle. I stood in the kitchen preparing veg for a batch of Pea 'n Ham soup and watched as they flowed down the road, engines muted as they throttle off to observe the 30 mph limit. Come on Chaps, give me a break you're not making this any easier!
The morning progressed, the bikes continued to pass the house and I got the pot of soup on the hob and then started cubing and mincing pork and black pudding to make a batch of Black Pudding sausages. By early afternoon we had eight litres of soup and eleven pounds of sausages packed in to the freezer. I have just noticed that I have managed to mix both imperial and metric measures in a single sentence and have probably committed a Euro crime as a result. My defence is that a litre of soup is three servings as is a pound of sausages. I would have written 454g but I felt it didn't flow.
At 2.30 I grabbed the garage keys and unplugged the Honda from the life support system* and wheeled her in to the sun. Ignition on- check, choke on - check, engine in neutral - check, clutch in and press the starter button. I don't want her start first time as I want her to pump oil over the engine internals and get the oil pressure up before she fires up....
.... a few more tries on the starter button and fuel flows down from the tank in to the carbs and she splutters, then burbles in to life. I reduce the amount of choke and wander off to get chain lube and a foot pump as she starts to warm up. I check her over as she idles in the sun; lights, tyre pressures and oil level and......
..... then have to put her away as 30%'s family have turned up for a cuppa and a walk. I was going to write CURSE THEM but it was fine. They are good company and it was nice to catch up. After tea and a quick review of progress on The Pile we took a wander round a very sunny Three Miler with T&M.
It is now early evening and I finally get out for my first ride of the year. Accompanied by TP, we take a quick circuit that includes several sets of "twisties" and a fast section of dual carriage way too. It was great. There was very little traffic and what was there was soon overtaken. So I finally got out after a weekend of waiting and look forward to many more sunny days in 2011.
* Optimate battery charging system
..... The Pile is located alongside a popular route with motorcyclists. I see them and hear them and, when time allows, I join them on one or other of my bikes.
So today was quite frustrating because the weather was glorious but I had a mountain of cooking that I needed to get done before I got anywhere near a motorcycle. I stood in the kitchen preparing veg for a batch of Pea 'n Ham soup and watched as they flowed down the road, engines muted as they throttle off to observe the 30 mph limit. Come on Chaps, give me a break you're not making this any easier!
The morning progressed, the bikes continued to pass the house and I got the pot of soup on the hob and then started cubing and mincing pork and black pudding to make a batch of Black Pudding sausages. By early afternoon we had eight litres of soup and eleven pounds of sausages packed in to the freezer. I have just noticed that I have managed to mix both imperial and metric measures in a single sentence and have probably committed a Euro crime as a result. My defence is that a litre of soup is three servings as is a pound of sausages. I would have written 454g but I felt it didn't flow.
At 2.30 I grabbed the garage keys and unplugged the Honda from the life support system* and wheeled her in to the sun. Ignition on- check, choke on - check, engine in neutral - check, clutch in and press the starter button. I don't want her start first time as I want her to pump oil over the engine internals and get the oil pressure up before she fires up....
.... a few more tries on the starter button and fuel flows down from the tank in to the carbs and she splutters, then burbles in to life. I reduce the amount of choke and wander off to get chain lube and a foot pump as she starts to warm up. I check her over as she idles in the sun; lights, tyre pressures and oil level and......
..... then have to put her away as 30%'s family have turned up for a cuppa and a walk. I was going to write CURSE THEM but it was fine. They are good company and it was nice to catch up. After tea and a quick review of progress on The Pile we took a wander round a very sunny Three Miler with T&M.
 |
| Note to self: Get the Ducati taxed |
It is now early evening and I finally get out for my first ride of the year. Accompanied by TP, we take a quick circuit that includes several sets of "twisties" and a fast section of dual carriage way too. It was great. There was very little traffic and what was there was soon overtaken. So I finally got out after a weekend of waiting and look forward to many more sunny days in 2011.
------------------------------------
* Optimate battery charging system
Saturday, 9 April 2011
Parenting
Today is Presidents Day. Before you rush off to examine your calendar to see what corner of the world is celebrating let me explain .....
...... A few weeks back TP's rugby team played and won against a team from Sutton Coldfield. Today is that team's Presidents Day and we were invited back to play them at home. This meant that I had a shit load of things to do before we all met up in the club car park at eleven o'clock.
By eight thirty I was breakfasted and caffeine charged and was climbing in to the Defender for a trip over to the feed stores to pick up 3 cwt of layers pellets. I was traumatised by the fact that the price has gone up a tenner in the past 12 months and am glad that I can simply reduce my flock to cut the feed bills. God knows how farmers can manage with the aggressive pricing policies that the supermarkets apply.
The price of wheat has gone up from £110 per tonne in June last year to nearly £200 per tonne now. That is a doubling of the feed price, add in the increases in fuel costs and general inflation and you have to ask how the supermarkets can keep food prices as low as they can and offer aggressive price cuts on meat products. One really has to ask what corners are being cut and who is being screwed in this economic model.
Sorry I digressed, but I have concerns about animal welfare and production standards when the Supermarkets can sell two chickens for £5 or £6 and can halve pork prices on a regular basis.
Once home I managed a further coffee and then took T&M out for an early walk. The Opponent Club's dog policy is an unknown and so the terrible two will have to stay at home rather than risk being shut in the car for a couple of hours. They are pretty good at home on their own but it only seems fair to give them a good run before leaving them cooped up inside while we go out.
The match was a bit of a disaster. The opponents seemed to have significantly increased the size of their squad in the past 6 weeks and more realistic/cynical observers commented that the second row and flankers seemed a little more mature that the rest of the team. TP's team were massacred. Lets leave it at that.
Having run round like a mad thing to complete domestic duties so that I could donate 5 hours of my time to junior rugby I was a little annoyed that TP could do little more than grunt in response to anything I said today. Actually, scratch "little annoyed" and replace it with bloody furious. All he had done was get up, feed and dress himself while I had ensured that all those annoying little jobs had been completed so that I could chauffeur him North of Birmingham to get his arse kicked.
Needless to say we had "words" upon our return and a somewhat chastised TP was to be found wrestling the beast around the lawn for the first cut of the year. Regular readers of The Journal will know that the lawn mower and I are not the best of friends - "Die You Red Rusty Bastard" - and making TP mow the lawn from now until eternity seems to be an admirable solution to this dysfunctional relationship.
A session with the Mountfield followed by half an hour with the yard broom and general garden maintenance under 30%'s tutelage seems to have improved TP's demeanour and by Dinner Time his company was tolerable to pleasant .........
............ Teenagers!
I bumped in to Cathy H-R at the Village Shop on the way back from my walk and she advised that her two pigs will be going for slaughter next week. I have a half pig on order and she has offered me both heads which I gratefully accepted as I have found a recipe for cured pigs cheeks which looks like it could be very interesting.
I also managed to make a start on the preparation work in the bedroom this afternoon and a beautiful pine cupboard has slowly emerged from beneath 150 years of paint and grime.
...... A few weeks back TP's rugby team played and won against a team from Sutton Coldfield. Today is that team's Presidents Day and we were invited back to play them at home. This meant that I had a shit load of things to do before we all met up in the club car park at eleven o'clock.
By eight thirty I was breakfasted and caffeine charged and was climbing in to the Defender for a trip over to the feed stores to pick up 3 cwt of layers pellets. I was traumatised by the fact that the price has gone up a tenner in the past 12 months and am glad that I can simply reduce my flock to cut the feed bills. God knows how farmers can manage with the aggressive pricing policies that the supermarkets apply.
The price of wheat has gone up from £110 per tonne in June last year to nearly £200 per tonne now. That is a doubling of the feed price, add in the increases in fuel costs and general inflation and you have to ask how the supermarkets can keep food prices as low as they can and offer aggressive price cuts on meat products. One really has to ask what corners are being cut and who is being screwed in this economic model.
Sorry I digressed, but I have concerns about animal welfare and production standards when the Supermarkets can sell two chickens for £5 or £6 and can halve pork prices on a regular basis.
Once home I managed a further coffee and then took T&M out for an early walk. The Opponent Club's dog policy is an unknown and so the terrible two will have to stay at home rather than risk being shut in the car for a couple of hours. They are pretty good at home on their own but it only seems fair to give them a good run before leaving them cooped up inside while we go out.
The match was a bit of a disaster. The opponents seemed to have significantly increased the size of their squad in the past 6 weeks and more realistic/cynical observers commented that the second row and flankers seemed a little more mature that the rest of the team. TP's team were massacred. Lets leave it at that.
Having run round like a mad thing to complete domestic duties so that I could donate 5 hours of my time to junior rugby I was a little annoyed that TP could do little more than grunt in response to anything I said today. Actually, scratch "little annoyed" and replace it with bloody furious. All he had done was get up, feed and dress himself while I had ensured that all those annoying little jobs had been completed so that I could chauffeur him North of Birmingham to get his arse kicked.
Needless to say we had "words" upon our return and a somewhat chastised TP was to be found wrestling the beast around the lawn for the first cut of the year. Regular readers of The Journal will know that the lawn mower and I are not the best of friends - "Die You Red Rusty Bastard" - and making TP mow the lawn from now until eternity seems to be an admirable solution to this dysfunctional relationship.
A session with the Mountfield followed by half an hour with the yard broom and general garden maintenance under 30%'s tutelage seems to have improved TP's demeanour and by Dinner Time his company was tolerable to pleasant .........
............ Teenagers!
----------------------------
Other Stuff:I bumped in to Cathy H-R at the Village Shop on the way back from my walk and she advised that her two pigs will be going for slaughter next week. I have a half pig on order and she has offered me both heads which I gratefully accepted as I have found a recipe for cured pigs cheeks which looks like it could be very interesting.
I also managed to make a start on the preparation work in the bedroom this afternoon and a beautiful pine cupboard has slowly emerged from beneath 150 years of paint and grime.
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