The staff of life

Self isolation/social distancing has resulted in a very quiet weekend and there was no way that I could make tidying the office and walking the dogs interesting.

Despite being at home most of the time, the very fact that I am not allowed out, except for exercise and essential journeys, does have an impact and there were points over the weekend when I did start to feel somewhat constrained.

The weather has changed significantly and the warmth earlier in the week as been replaced by a bitter blow from the North. As a result there was no way that pottering in the garage or messing with the bikes was an option.*

I needed something to pique my interest and a recent impact of panic buying may have provided the solution.

We have used a bread maker for most of the bread we eat for the past 15 years. Our cupboards normally have plenty of flour and yeast, but our pot of yeast is running low. At the moment the shops have none in stock as the panic buying fuckwits have obviously bought every pot they can lay their hands on.

At this point I should advise that we are not in dire straits, nor are we at risk of starvation. The local shops have plenty of bread and BBQ Dave has given us a tub of yeast that will last us a few weeks.

However, this shortage got us thinking and we decided that making a sour dough loaf might be an interesting diversion and possibly be the way forward if the current movement restrictions remain in place for any length of time.

Obviously our bread maker is of no use at all for making a sour dough loaf,** so it looks like I will be making bread "hands on" for the first time in many, many years.

I thought back to the last time I made bread by hand and it was probably back in 1983 when I was a student living in a grimy, damp, shared house in Park Lane, Wolverhampton.  For some reason I got it in to my head that making bread would be more economical than buying it and I started to make my own wholemeal loaves using the most basic of baking equipment.

Despite the cold house, the lack of experience and a complete absence of loaf tins, I produced some fabulous bread that was appreciated by my housemates.

Anyway, back to the present, I dug out a sour dough recipe and it is fair to say that it didn't occupy that much of my weekend...

Step one was to warm 175ml of skimmed milk, add 75 ml of live yogurt, stir, cover and put in a warm place for 24 hours.

It will take about 5 days for the starter to be ready to use, so next Saturday could be a busy day.

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* I hate being cold. I love cold frosty and snowy weather and am happy to be out in it wrapped up in the finest warm weather clothing, but I loathe trying to complete a task and be distracted by that whole body discomfort of feeling cold.
** There are bread maker recipes for sour dough loaves, but they all include measures of dried yeast, which, to me, seems to be somewhat contradictory.

Toast

After our rescue mission on Monday, TP is now enduring a period of self isolation to minimise the risk of infecting me or 30% with the Covid19 virus.

He's not showing any symptoms, but he has been out and about for the past couple of weeks, so this is just a precautionary measure.

His confinement is far from arduous as he has a spacious bedroom and his own bathroom and he is able to get outside for fresh air and exercise.  Meals and snacks are ordered via WhatsApp and are delivered on a tray and left outside his bedroom door.

Fundamentally, it is like he's in a hotel where room service is the only option for food and beverages.

As TP is totally dependent on us for nourishment I decided that his meals should be assembled with, shall we say, a creative flourish.

His preferred breakfast is a mug of black coffee and a slice of toast with peanut butter. Rather than simply cut the toast in to approximate halves along the centre line, I decided to mix things up a bit.

On Tuesday his breakfast slice had been cut in a "V" and Wednesdays was a rather random sort of zig-zag.

Today I may have peaked as I presented him with a slice of toast cut in to 32 roughly equal pieces about 2cm squared ... he wasn't amused.

Tomorrow I'm thinking about combining toast, peanut butter and coffee in a delicious breakfast smoothie.

Messing around with a few numbers

Thursday was slightly busier than Wednesday and I spent the morning trying to get to grips with a rather complicated cost model that a frolleague had developed back in 2019 for a piece of new business.

Apparently there is a problem with the specification of some servers and the ones that are being installed need to be removed and repurposed while new hardware is brought in to replace them. I've offered to help "Tel" out by updating his model as, and when, the costs arrived.

After some initial head scratching I soon developed a basic understanding of how the numbers were presented and collated and started to record the new data.  It then became clear that the quote was not as straightforward as initially thought and we are not clear on whether the price, the quantity or both are being increased.*

I now need to sit and wait while we get the Supplier to be a little more precise on the costs and how they are changing.

As a result I had a fairly slow afternoon and enjoyed another walk with the dogs in the glorious sunshine. The local lanes have finally dried out and I no longer need to restrain the dogs to prevent them getting filthy.*** They had a wild time bouncing off each other as they charged about, begrudgingly coming back when I called them in as we encountered other walkers.

And that is just about it for today.

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* The quote identifies the affected line items and advises the amount that each will increase. It details both price and quantity, but doesn't advise whether "p", "q" or both are increasing. The price appears to be the same as the preceding quote, but it is possible that they are just doubling their price!**
** This is network hardware after all!
*** I enjoy a walk, but am not so keen on spending twenty minutes hosing down and drying two reluctant Standard Poodles afterwards. This does happen frequently over the wetter months, but I do try to minimise post-perambulation canine ablutions as much as poss.

Nothing to see here

It is fair to say that work is very quiet at the moment and the two requests I picked up last week were quickly resolved, with no real need for me to get involved.

A frolleague; "Tel" is in need of some assistance and we had a quick chat about it this morning, but there is nothing much to do until some fresh costs come in later in the week.

As a result I had a very quiet day and the only thing of any significance was a walk around the Three Miler in glorious sunshine with TP and the dogs.

The lack of events, occurrences or situations have resulted in me trawling my photo archives and presenting a picture post.

Cocoa Pods - Arenal, Costa Rica

I do like an unusual botanical subject and this one was taken in 2018 when 30% and I were touring Costa Rica. These are cocoa pods and were surprisingly large, being eight to ten inches in length and tightly packed with the cocoa beans.

As I mentioned last Tuesday, our holiday in Costa Rica will always be tainted by the loss of Tyson while we were away.  We did have a lovely time and some amazing experiences, including seeing Olive Ridley Turtles hauling themselves on to shore to lay in the starlight.

But, as I said, it will always be a great holiday that we wish we'd never taken.

A Blast from the past

30% headed in to work early this morning, as she wanted to get ahead with a new service that is likely to be needed without delay.

As she left she pointed to a thawing pack of stewing beef and "suggested" that I might like to use it as a basis for tonight's dinner.

Now, many years ago I used to cook a mean beef stew, but that was a long time back and the details of the recipe were a little hazy. I wandered over to the cupboard that houses the cook books, but could find no sign of the little pamphlet that documented this culinary treasure.

I was left with no option and simply had to wing it. This is what I did ...

Beef Stew

1kg Stewing Beef (cubed)
3 medium onions (chopped)
4 carrots (sliced)
2 heaped dessert spoons of flour
Salt and black pepper
1 pint of Chicken stock
3-4 tsp Worcester Sauce
3 or 4 Bay Leaves
3-4 tsp Dried Thyme
2 handfuls of Pearl Barley

1.  Coat the beef in the seasoned flour and brown in a frying pan
2.  Once browned, remove the beef and set to one side
3.  Add the carrots and onions to the frying pan, adding more oil if necessary
4.  Saute the carrots and onions for 5 - 10 minutes until they start to soften
5.  Add the stock, Worcester Sauce, Bay Leaves and Thyme to the pan and bring to the boil
6.  Add the beef to the simmering pan of carrots and onions
7.  Add the contents of the pan to a slow cooker and cook on low setting for 6 hours. Add a little extra stock or water if the gravy needs thinning
8.  a couple of handfuls of pearl barley can be added two hours before the stew is to be served, if desired

At seven thirty dinner was served and, what can I say ... "I've still got it".

Dunkirk

Let me set the scene ...

TP holed up in deepest, darkest Cardiff.  Cases of Covid19 on the increase. An announcement of movement restrictions expected imminently.

As I am sure you can imagine, 30% was in full on "mum mode" and resources were to be mobilised immediately for a recovery mission.

Putting crappy jokes aside for a moment, TP's lease expires in the very near future and his workload has completely dried up.  Based on current Government advise it would be virtually impossible for him to locate another room to rent, let alone move himself or pay for it for that matter.

Early in the afternoon 30% and I headed down to Cardiff in the Defender and her Mini.

TP was well prepared and most of his belongings were already packed and piled in the hallway ready for loading.  It took an hour, or so, for us to cram our vehicles to the proverbial gills. We managed virtually all of his stuff with the exception of his home brewing vessels and an aged Sony flat screen TV.

We were back on the road before three o'clock and we were all back home safely by five.  TP actually seeing Army vehicles heading in to Cardiff as he left!

TP is now self-isolating for the next week and both 30% and I are relieved to have him back at home.

Our timing was perfect, as later that evening Boris Johnson announced the initial set of movement restrictions.

Weekend Round-up

 Saturday
Social Distancing/Isolation is now the new normal and, to be honest, it hasn't made a huge difference to 30% and me.

I have been a home worker for fifteen years and am used to, and actually enjoy, the isolation, using the 'phone, instant messaging and e-mail for work and social contact. 30% is much the same and fortunately we actually enjoy being at home together.

I am not so naive to not be aware that that several weeks, or even months, of social distancing will be tough to bear, but at least we both have some experience of living this way and it is not such a complete culture shock as it will be for those that head out to a place of work every day.

We spent the morning cooking up a batch of Bolognese and other culinary activities. I then nipped out to fill the Defender with diesel as the price has plummeted over the past few weeks.

Lunch followed and then we headed out around the 3 miler with the dogs and this is where we saw the impact of SD.   The lanes around the village are just like they are at Christmas with walkers I have never seen before.  People are clearly feeling the need to get out of the house now they are unable to escape to their places of work.*

A kip on the sofa followed the walk** and I then released the porn mower and trimmed the lawn.

The evening began with a G&T followed by a steak dinner and a night in front of the television ... trying to ignore it and read tablets, magazines and other alternative forms of entertainment instead.

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* We are bumping in to dogs that we have never seen being walked before. They are easy to spot as they are all on leads and have quite a surprised expression on their faces.
** This is the law.

Sunday
A quick breakfast was consumed before I returned to the kitchen, knocked up a batch of pea and ham soup and tidied up the aftermath.

30% had headed out to the supermarket to take advantage of her NHS staff card in the hope of picking up a few store cupboard essentials that we are running short of.

And that just about takes care of Sunday morning.

In the afternoon we eventually headed out around the Three miler. I say eventually as 30% had to pop over to the local surgery where key staff are working at the weekend to prepare for the next set of Covid19 initiatives. It appears that she has a new role involving the set up and support of the new services that will be needed as self-isolation of vulnerable patients takes effect.

We eventually hit the lanes with the dogs and it was rammed with families out escaping the confines of their homes. Yesterday I said that it was like Christmas, but I was definitely under calling the number of people out on a walk.* I think there are two or three times the volume of Christmas walkers.

Several hours** later we made it home and settled in for the afternoon. I cleaned my shotgun as it looks like it is going to be months before any of the local shooting grounds re-open ... unless, of course, this really is the dawn of the Zombie apocalypse?

It looks like we will be heading down to Cardiff in the next couple of days to collect TP and his belongings. His lease expires in the next couple of months and he has little chance of picking up freelance work in the current environment, so has decided that home is the best place to wait this out and then start afresh when it all blows over.

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* Why do their bloody kids feel the need to take a scooter out on a country walk? I wonder whether the thought process is as follows ... " I don't wanna go outside, I don't wanna go for a walk, its boring out there ... I'll take my scooter/skateboard/bike that'll minimise the effort and minimise the time away from the TV/tablet/'phone."
** That's what it felt like after 30% felt obligated to chunter on to each and every one of them.

All is well

Well, at least it is on the beekeeping front.

The weather was reasonably fine today and shortly after lunch I found a spare half an hour to pop down the road to see Kathy H-R.

I dropped off a small parcel of groceries that 30% had picked up for Kathy and then I took a quick look at the hive that sits in her front garden.

It was going to be a quick peek at best since a cool wind was blowing and I didn't want to chill the colony nor any brood that might be developing. I got the smoker lit and gave a few puffs at the hive entrance. I could see worker bees taking in pollen, which is usually a sign that the queen is laying and that there are larvae to be fed. So far, so good ...

I lifted off the hive roof, noting that the colony had eaten most of the 2.5 kilos of candy* that had been provided as emergency winter feed. This was another positive sign.

I lifted the hive crown board a centimetre or two and gave the colony another couple of puffs of smoke. The crown board was then lifted and I was rewarded with a marvellous sight. The colony covered eight or nine of the brood frames, which is a good size at this point in the year.

I inspected a few of the frames in the centre of the cluster of bees** and saw a healthy patch of capped brood. That was all I wanted to see and I quickly closed up the hive, hopefully without chilling it too much.

All six of my hives have made it through the winter.  I just hope that we get a mild dry Spring with plenty of blossom and flowers ...

... I've already been asked about whether I can supply some mini jars of honey for wedding favours.

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* A soft sugar paste, very similar to fondant icing.
** This is the warmest part of the colony and where the queen and the brood nest are most likely to be found

Yes, no, maybe

I picked up a couple of piece of work yesterday and spent this morning clarifying the requirements and getting them off the starting blocks.

Both appeared to be relatively straightforward opportunities that could be turned around with little effort in short timeframes.

I discussed the first with the Sales Guy, clarified a minor discrepancy and within 40 minutes I had the correct teams engaged to develop the solution and quotes.

The second was somewhat different. For starters the Sales Lead didn't bother turning up to the kick off call and neither did the Project Manager. Our Architect did appear and, in his genial manner, dismissed the Approach being undertaken by the Designers and told them to go and do something much simpler and more appropriate.

After ten minutes it appeared that there was nothing for me to do, other than issue a short call summary and then close out the work request.

However this is now looking a little premature and I may actually need to get my hands dirty.

Every Cloud ...

It doesn't appear to be "all doom and gloom" here in the Covid19 stricken UK.

I learnt today that the BBC has cancelled all Eastenders filming and has halved the weekly episode count from four to two.

30% has put a black armband on, whilst I am beaming from ear to ear.*

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*I would rather watch a blank screen or a video loop of a dog shitting for half an hour than this amateurish tripe.

Gone, but never to be forgotten

Today was the calm "yang" to yesterday's exiting "yin".

The Government's Coronavirus advice has deemed me as an "at risk" member of the population and I must now be largely shielded from social contact for the next 12 weeks. Anyone who knows me well might joke that this is no change from my normal behaviour, but over the past couple of years 30% and I have developed quite a social life.

30% and I do enjoy our own company, but I think we'll be gagging for some socialising by the time this all calms down.

Very little happened today. I provided a modicum of consultation to a colleague and took Marauder around the Three Miler for a breath of fresh air and that is just about it.

Anyone who is familiar with this Journal will know that Marauder is one of our three Standard Poodles and she is nearly 11 years old now. Our other two were Tyson and Whiffler, but we very sadly lost Tyson back in May 2018.

She was a real character and very much my dog, so we were devastated to return from a holiday in Costa Rica to find that she had suffered a twisted gut in the Boarding Kennels and had died during post operative care.

It was months before either 30% or I could really talk about her and, even now, a mention of her name leaves us both with a sad smile and a real sense of loss.

We used to joke that three dogs was "one too many", but after six months we realised that three was the magic number and 30% started to hunt down a new pup that was most definitely not a replacement!

I still remember the first pup we went to look at. The breeder had a 5 year old black bitch that looked very much like Tyson and, as she looked at us, we both realised that we were not ready for another black dog ... the sight of this lovely girl brought back too many painful memories.

In the end we travelled to deepest Kent and brought back this little horror.

In truth she is an absolute delight and is one of the most calm puppies we have had, but she still has the switch that turns her in to a complete and utter maniac from time to time.

I suppose I should give her an alias, but I'll need to think on that for a little while longer.

Freestylin' it

I've been a type 1 diabetic since the age of eight and today, nearly 46 years on, there has been a step change in the monitoring and management of my condition.

The key to management of type 1 diabetes is to maintain a balance between doses of insulin, carbohydrate intake and the amount of exercise taken.  The aim is to maintain one's blood glucose level within safe boundaries and avoid the rather nasty and potentially life limiting side effects of poor diabetic control.*

Knowing your blood glucose level is important and the measurement methods have certainly developed over the years.

When I was first diagnosed in the early 1970s home blood glucose testing was primitive, to say the least.**

Basically a diabetic's urine was tested to see whether it contained any traces of glucose. This wasn't a test of blood glucose, but of urine glucose levels. If your blood glucose control was poor then glucose was passed through your kidneys and out in to your pee.

The test involved putting 5 drops of pee and ten drops of water in to a test tube and adding a reagent tablet. An exothermic reaction occurred and after a lot of fizzing a coloured liquid remained. This was compared with a colour chart to give an estimate of glucose levels. As I said, crude and hardly the most straightforward activity when out and about.

To this day I can still remember that blue and green were good results, orange was most definitely not.

I understand that this reagent kit was eventually replaced by a plastic stick that was simply dipped in your pee, but I don't recall every having that made available for use at home.

If we jump forward to the late 1980's a significant change took place.

I had moved down to London for a new job and signed on at my local hospital's Diabetic Clinic. I was asked about testing and I mentioned the use of Ames urine glucose reagent tablets. The Consultant scoffed that "those were for old ladies" and handed me a cardboard box containing a palm sized meter, a finger pricking device, a tube of test strips and a lengthy instruction manual.

This was a personal blood glucose measuring device. I simply inserted a test strip in to the meter, pricked the end of one finger and squeezed to release a small drop of blood. The drop of blood was then placed on the test strip and within a few seconds my blood glucose level was shown on an LCD display.

I was now able to actually test my blood glucose rather than urine glucose and this could be done relatively discretely whenever and wherever I wanted or needed.

I've been testing my blood several times a day ever since until today ...

This morning I had an appointment with my Diabetes Specialist Nurse and, having attended the prerequisite training, she has authorised me to use the Freestyle Libra monitoring system.

This is a waterproof circular disk that adheres to my arm it has a microfibre sensor that protrudes under my skin, constantly reading my blood glucose levels. The disk has a near field rfid chip and passes data to an app on my phone whenever I pass my phone over the disk. The disk stays in place for 14 days before it needs to be replaced.

I've only had the Libra disk a few hours and it is a revelation. At a glance I can now not only see my blood glucose level, but also whether it is steady or trending up or down.

Only time will tell how I get on with this new technology and the most important aspect is whether my overall control improves. We shall see.

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* You really don't want to know, but if you insist ... loss of sight, impotence, kidney failure, loss of sensation in extremities which can lead to gangrene, amputations and often death.
** Hospitals could test blood glucose, but the test involved a blood sample being taken and then taken up to the Labs for processing. This was usually done a couple of times a year at one's Diabetic review with a Consultant.

Weekend Round Up

Well, Clive Anderson on Friday was pretty much as expected.

It was an anecdotal/autobiographical monologue delivered in his normal bumbling style. Parts of it were reasonably witty and interesting, but overall it fell well short of the mark and 30% and I left before the end of the second half.

I think the main problem was that he repeatedly described himself as a stand-up comedian and, if he is, he isn't a very good one.

If I'd spent the evening in the pub with Clive listening to the same material I would have come home and said I had had a brilliant night out. This thing is money had been paid for a professional performance from a self proclaimed stand-up comedian and that isn't what I got.

Anyway, the tickets were free and our early departure meant we avoided car park chaos, so the evening could have been much worse.

Overall: 4/10 - must try harder!

Saturday
For the past week BBQ Dave and I had been keeping a close eye on the weather.

We had been planning a trip up to Hailes Shooting Ground for a morning of clay pigeon shooting with Bubbles and Grubby Mark and we had been praying to the Gods for fair weather.

We were blessed and had a great morning shooting and, in my case frequently missing, some quite challenging targets.

The afternoon saw a trip in to Alcester to drop off an order of honey at the Jewellers*. We picked up a few supplies and noticed a possible symtom of the Coronavirus outbreak. The car parks were quieter than one would have expected and the Supermarket shelves had some significant gaps. 30% got chatting to the manager at Waitrose and he told us that an order of toilet paper that would normally last 4 days had been sold in 24 hours and that they were currently experiencing a Christmas like sales experience with none of the staffing or preparations that are put in place to run a Supermarket chain over a period of intense demand.

The evening saw us with a house full. 30% had invited Grubby Sue and Mark along with Sheila over for a Chinese takeaway,** a few drinks and a general catch-up.

We were also joined by TP and his "friend"*** for the weekend. TP has embarked on a career as a freelance Sound Engineer after graduating in July last year. Unfortunately his work is being impacted by the virus outbreak and consequent event cancellations, so he used his now free weekend to spend some time with us, or, more truthfully, his girlfriend.

Sunday
I'd been half tempted to head over to Throckmorton this morning for another round of clay shooting, but the weather was miserable and, if I am totally honest, I really fancied a lazy day after a quite hectic start to the year.

We enjoyed a family breakfast, which is a rare occasion nowadays and the remainder of the morning was spent pottering.

In the afternoon 30% and I headed in to Redditch to pick up a few supplies. We definitely weren't panic buying, but, with three Standard Poodles to feed, our trolley full of dog food may have looked like we were!

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* Jewellery and Honey may seem an odd combination of wares, but for some reason my product and packaging seems to be a perfect match with "Vanellope's" decor and beautiful creations.  However, it is rumoured that a lot of the honey ends up being bought by the team rather than customers.
** Our local Chinese is normally very busy with the 'phone ringing constantly on a Saturday evening ... not tonight. There was only one other customer waiting for an order and the 'phone didn't ring at all for the five or ten minutes I was in there.  I wonder if this is yet another reaction to the virus and its origins in China?
*** a lovely girl who designs and builds props at a local theatre.

that "Friday Feeling"

Well here I am at the end of the week and I certainly have that "Friday Feeling".

You know the one I mean. The anticipation of two work free days. The slightly less conscientious view of work matters because it is the end of the week and, irrespective of what I do, or don't do, nothing is really going to happen until Monday at the earliest.

Yes, that "Friday feeling".

The unfortunate thing is that I have had it all week ...

Things have suddenly become very quiet on the Piano Moving front.  For the best part of eighteen months I have been occupied with looking at alternative ways in which we can deliver, contract and charge for a service we provide to our customer.

Now, after numerous iterations and demands for innovative solutions and even more innovative* pricing, the customer has decided that this activity is too disruptive and we have all been stood down.

This is part of a much bigger initiative and only time will tell whether work will pick up, so all I can do is wait and hope something comes in to keep me busy. 

After a week of sitting at my laptop waiting for something to happen I basically abandoned that facade and got on with a few domestic tasks instead.

As a result the kitchen is a whole lot tidier and the lawn is much less scruffy.** I can now see the floor in the bedroom, tomorrow's honey order has been assembled and the dogs have been walked around the Three Miler.

I bumped in to BBQ Dave and his good lady; Janet*** on my walk and we wandered back to their house for a chat and a cup of tea.

Basically I have had a very productive Friday on the home front, leaving me with two work free days to really enjoy.

The weekend proper starts with a trip over to the Artrix theatre in Bromsgrove to see Clive Anderson in Me, MacBeth and I.

Hopefully there will be more on that in the next Journal entry.

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* For this read "ridiculously cheap"
** Surprisingly, this was not the first cut of the year. We had a very mild and dry spell at the beginning of February and the porn mower actually had its first outing of 2020 on 4th February.
*** Now I do like an alias, but Janet is actually her real name, but very few people know that. It's actually the Welsh version of Janet; Sioned, but everyone calls her something quite different.

Stepping on to the Plague Ship

It was another quiet day at work, so I thought a quick forty winks was in order before heading out around the Three Miler with the dogs.

I had just settled down on the sofa when the 'phone rang.  It was 30% and I was somewhat surprised, as she had literally only just left the house for work about five minutes previously.

At this point I probably need to fill in a little of the back story ... actually, I'm not sure why I need to do that. After all, it is highly likely that there is anyone out there reading this a) because I haven't posted anything in the past four years and b) because if there is anyone out there reading this, they are highly unlikely to have read all of the preceding entries and therefore know anything at all about 30%.

30% has been my partner in crime for the best part of 20 years and the last time I was making regular Journal entries she was employed by The Neat & Tidy Piano Movers, as I still am.

About three and a half years ago she decided, rather abruptly, that she had had quite enough of the Corporate nonsense that pervaded every single working day and was starting to make inroads in to her non working days.  She negotiated a mutually agreeable exit plan with the Piano Movers and, it is fair to say, she hasn't really looked back.

She took about a year off and "chilled" before taking a voluntary project management role for a Community project and picking up some part time work in a couple of local shops.  She was also an elderly ladies companion for a while, but that role ended when her "lady" was moved in to a Nursing Home and no longer needed 30%'s ministrations and visitations.

I think we were both in agreement that she was not yet ready to embrace the life of a retiree and really did still need something more challenging than selling gin and bananas or visits to Garden Centre Tea Shops to keep her mind active.

The "something challenging" came to pass back in the Autumn of last year when she was offered a job as a receptionist at the local Doctor's Surgery which is literally just over the road from The Pile.

She absolutely loves the job, particularly the social interaction, often with people who aren't at their best. It really does fill her need to look after and care for people and it seems that she is really appreciated after only a few months in the role.

Now that was a bit of a diversion, so back to the 'phone call ... it appears that as well as providing front of house duties at the Surgery, she also has a sideline selling eggs and honey to the staff. She had left a box of eggs on the worktop and she needed me to pop them over and drop them in at the Dispensary for Alison.

Normally I wouldn't have blinked an eye at being asked to complete this minor errand, but the COVID-19 virus outbreak has just been declared a Pandemic and I'm now somewhat wary of heading in to a building whose very purpose is the "go to" place for the sick.*

Now, the advice to the UK public is to call 111 for advise if they think the are showing Coronavirus symptoms. They are specifically advised NOT to visit Surgeries or Hospitals, but I know how bloody stupid some of the British population can be.**

As a consequence I was somewhat less than enthusiastic to visit the local Plague Ship and was bloody certain of using the hand gel on departure.

As for contact with 30%, she's living in the chicken coop until a) she finds a new job, or b) this all blows over.

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* Actually, based on 30%'s anonymised accounts, there are quite a few "regulars" who have nothing at all wrong with them or could self medicate with the most basic of "over the counter" remedies. However this subject is likely to get me on to a full-blown rant about abuse of the National Health Service, so its probably best if I leave it there!
** Why the fuck are people stockpiling toilet paper? Its not as though diarrhoea is even one of the fucking symptoms ... perhaps they are going to self-isolate by swathing themselves in it like some modern day mummy?

I'm still not dead!

Well!

Its certainly been a while since I last put pen to virtual paper to note the comings and goings here at The Pile.

Don't worry though, I'm not going to dump a fifty page narrative of the past three and a half years here for you to read. I'm also not going to make any rash commitments about how frequently I'm going to make an entry in The Journal.

After the best part of four years there is plenty to report, but I am well out of practice, so I think it will be a case of taking it day by day or even week by week and seeing how it goes. Hopefully I will get back in to the proverbial saddle and, over time, fill in the gaps*.

Today was a quiet day at work, so I made best use of my time and got a few items crossed off my mental to-do list.

The most notable was the first hive inspection of the year. It is unseasonably warm and we have had one of the mildest Winters on record, so the bees are out and about collecting pollen and nectar from the snowdrops, crocuses and other early Spring flowers.

Shortly after lunch I threw on my bee suit, lit a smoker and took a very quick look at the 5 hives that are in the garden. Although it is mild, there was no need to perform a full blown inspection, just a quick peek inside the hives to check whether the colonies had made it through the Winter.

All five had survived and had adequate stores of honey in their outer frames. I could see capped and uncapped brood on the central frames, meaning that I had laying Queens in all hives. I even had a quick glimpse of one Queen as I scanned one frame. I have another hive a couple of miles down the road at Kathy H-R's house and I'll try to get over there at some point in the next week to see how they are doing.

Now, I am well aware that this is very, very far from the most earth shattering of Journal posts, especially after such a long absence and there are some quite major changes to report on. But, as I mentioned earlier, let's see how things pan out and, hopefully, I'll bring things up to date over the coming weeks and months.

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* A quick Google search indicates that there are 1,305 days between 14th August 2016 and today, so this may take quite some time!

A "first", fourteen years in to our relationship

We are definitely in to the pre-holiday phase and are doing our utmost to complete tasks early and avoid any last minute rush.

Yesterday the dogs were clipped and this morning I gave the shed it's second coat of creosote. It is not the most pleasant of tasks applying the oily, strong smelling fluid, but it is done now and I won't have to think about applying another coat for at least twelve months.

After lunch 30% sprayed the recently erected willow fencing with Danish Oil and I was required to fulfil the role of spray gun technician; thinning the oil down to a suitable viscosity for spraying. I then attempted to have a kip on the sofa, but didn't really succeed.

Mid-afternoon it was time for "a first" ... I wheeled the Royal Enfield Bullet Classic from the garage and gave 30% a short briefing on Pillion Passenger etiquette. After nearly pissing myself laughing at the sight of her in an open-face helmet and goggles, she threw a leg over and we headed down the road at a gentle pace.

Twenty minutes later we were pulling up outside her brother's house.* We had been invited over for an impromptu get-together which turned out to be a little odd. There was no surprise that the Elf was mostly occupied by fractious baby Oswald, but our other host spent his time with a friend attempting to illegally access an internet football broadcast on his widescreen TV. This left 30% and I discussing holiday plans with Mr & Mrs Tweedy, who had also been invited.

We had a pleasant couple of hours, but it wasn't exactly what I had expected, since our hosts were generally occupied with other matters. I was left bemused by why they had invited us over in the first place.

We headed home on the Enfield and 30% was turning out to be quite a good pillion passenger. I am wondering what she will make of something with a little more horsepower and better handling.

Shopping and Haircuts

This morning 30% and I were under instructions from Jonathan; our Painter and Decorator.

After a leisurely breakfast of coffee and croissant we headed over to Bidford to pick up wood stain for our exterior woodwork.  From Bidford it was then on to Stratford-on-Avon and a visit to B&Q. There we collected a few gallons of masonry paint, white satin paint for the canopies and door frames and a bright green gloss for the front door.

By the time we had taken a quick whizz around Tesco it was lunchtime and we headed home for food.

In the afternoon I was persuaded to get the clippers from the garage and give Whiffler a long over due clip.

He has a very fine coat and it had become matted, particularly around the elbow and heel joints. We had decided to clip it right back, rather then have him endure a grooming session that was likely to be long and possibly painful. Far better to cut his coat right back and let it regrow over the next few weeks.

Having got Whiffler looking reasonably respectable I turned my attention to Tyson and Marauder, and by the end of the afternoon all three dogs were looking a lot tidier. They will be spending their holiday at a local dog sitter and are likely to come back filthy after a fortnight of fun in her gardens, paddock and stables. The plan is to get them booked in to the Groomers at the end of September. They will definitely need a bath and their coats should have regrown sufficiently for a half-decent lamb clip.

The dog grooming took all of the afternoon and I was quite tired after three hours, half-bent, handling reluctant poodles. It is fair to say that our evening was spent relaxing and doing very little else.

It could have been a lot worse

First job of the day was to ring our local mechanic about the Audi, he was obviously having a quiet Friday and invited me to drop the car in whenever I could find a free twenty minutes.

I then settled down to clear my in-box and re-famaliarise myself with a set of slides that I was due to present later in the day. As I worked my way through my e-mails my attention was drawn to a meeting invitation ... Our client has issued the first of a series of RFPs and my day's priorities looked like they were about to change.

I made a start on reviewing the RFP documentation and made a few notes. As soon as 30% was free we dropped the Audi off at the workshop and I returned to my reading list. The RFP was surprisingly well structured, with a reasonable amount of time for any solutioning and costing, but before we got any where near that activity we would need a clear direction on our strategy.

As the day progressed calls were shuffled to accommodate RFP discussions and my presentation was deferred to the following week. A strategic decision was finally made and it looks like my involvement will be limited to bid management, as the solution and pricing is already available. I just need to ensure that that correct processes are followed and the right colleagues involved.

This was quite a relief as I am on holiday in just under a fortnight and my manager did not seem to want to select a resource to cover for my absence. As the deal is now quite straightforward, I should be able to get my Project Manager to keep things going while I am sightseeing in the Western States of the USA.

As the afternoon drew to a close the mechanic called to advise that the Audi was ready for collection. I had managed to break one of the coil spring and a new pair had been fitted. My car park pot-hole incident had cost just over two hundred quid to resolve ... ouch!

On the home front, Chippy Ian was with us today to continue the refurbishment of the Georgian canopies that surmount our doorways. These were in surprisingly good condition, considering their age. His work has been limited to re-fixing the original timber brackets and then replacing the planking, boards and lead that sits upon them.

He has now finished two canopies with a third to be built from scratch next Monday. We estimated that one of the canopies that he repaired was probably sixty years old and the other could have been closer to one hundred years old.  They have stood the ravages of time and weather amazingly well and with new lead work they should be good for may more years to come.

As the day drew to a close I tidied up Ian's debris and whizzed the mower around the lawns. It was my way of transitioning from the working week to the weekend. I now have two days to focus on nothing but home and family.

Could my day get any worse?

This morning I was up bright and early; suited and booted I found myself heading towards the station for a day in London.

At this point in the narrative I will make two points; the first is that I was an optional attendee for the meeting I was travelling to and the second is that I took 30%'s Audi TT, as it was parked in front of the Defender.

At quarter past six in the morning the roads were clear, apart from several suicidal wood pigeons, and I was soon driving in to the railway station car park.  As I circled to head in to a space I noticed a pothole a little too late and heard a dreadful clonk. It didn't sound good. It was definitely going to need a trip to the workshop and I was not certain that I could drive the car home. What a fucking marvellous start to the day.

I headed in to the station and purchased my ticket from the vague fuckwit at the ticket desk. He handed over my ticket whilst putting on some allegedly amusing performance of being sleepy, instead of advising me about a few minor changes to my planned journey ...

... it was only when I had put the car parking ticket in the broken car and made my way to the platform that I discovered that there was engineering works on the route and there was a temporary bus service between Didcot Parkway and Hanbroough.

At this point I really contemplated just going home. It was only the fact that I would have to explain an expense claim for a journey that never happened that kept me fuming on the platform.

The train arrived and about forty minutes later I found myself disembarking and climbing aboard a coach at Hanborough. As I settled in my seat I discovered that the coach driver intended to play the Chris Evans show to us for the next forty minutes.* As it says in the title"could my day get any worse ?"

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* I loathe that talentless fucker

Post Script

For the record it did. My London bound journey took four hours door to door rather than the normal three. My homeward journey took a full five hours and as for the meeting ... don't ask.

On a more positive note

Today saw the arrival of Chippy Ian. He is here to restore the canopies that shelter the front door and the one to the garden. He will also be building a new canopy to keep the weather off the door to the garage.

We also have our Painter here to start the preparation work for the repaint of the outside of the house.

With Hank arriving in a few weeks for the walling and paving the outside of the house will be very smart before Autumn sets in.

Have I just wasted thirty quid?

I had barely got in to the rhythm of the working day when the doorbell rang ... It was the Postman requesting a signature for a package; my new queen had arrived.

After unpacking the small parcel, I quickly threw on my bee suit, lit a smoker and headed out to the hive. It took very little time to get the queen cage tucked between two frames in the brood box and I soon had the hive reassembled.*

My main concern is whether the worker bees are too old to support the colony. A worker bee only lives for about six weeks in the Summer. This colony swarmed a fortnight ago so it has been more than two weeks since any eggs were laid in the hive, realistically the brood less interval is longer as there is no sign of capped brood, so my guess is three weeks without new bees.

This means that my worker bees have about three weeks left in them so this new queen needs to be out and laying as soon as possible as a worker takes twenty one days from egg laying to emergence. It is going to be tight and I may have to consider transferring a frame of capped brood from my other hive to keep this one going.

There is nothing I can do at present. I just need to be patient and let nature take it's course. In two weeks time I will inspect the hive and make a decision then.

The rest of the day rumbled on and I finally finished my presentation and passed it out for review. I may have seemed to be making a meal of this task, but the message is that the team need to pull up their socks if they are to succeed in their objective. Apparently this message needs to be presented in a positive manner and telling them they are a shower of shit is not an option!**

This evening's activity was an hour of Pilates in a Village Hall just down the road.  It was pretty intense and an aching thigh suggested that one of the exercises was working a muscle that hadn't been much used for a while. The optimist in me thinks that I will bounce out of bed tomorrow morning; the pessimist thinks I will be crippled.

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* It would have taken even less time if 30% hadn't volunteered me to give our Cleaner; Penny a quick tour of the hive.
** That was my Plan A and is still my preferred approach. I have worked with some Tits in the past, but never have I come across a complete team without the necessary skills or experience for what is fast approaching.

Giving it every chance

This morning I wandered out to see how the newly returned colony was doing. Within a matter of a few hours the worker bees had reorientated themselves and were already bringing in loads of pollen and nectar. The hive was a picture of industry and productivity.

My glance then fell on the other hive and I felt quite sad. The bees were coming and going, albeit fewer of them, filling a doomed hive with stores. The colony has no chance of survival without a queen. As each day passes the number of workers diminish and the colony's eventual fate is to dwindle and die.

I didn't relish the prospect of dismantling a failed hive in the Autumn, so I hit the internet and checked out the website of Honeyfields Bee Farm. It stated that they supply mated queens right through until the end of August so I grabbed a 'phone and rang them ...

... A few minutes later a queen had been ordered overnight delivery.

In my discussions with the Apiary I learnt that there is no guarantee of success, but at least they will stand a chance with a fresh queen.

The day rumbled on and I filled my time polishing a presentation to be delivered at the end of the week.

Shortly after four o'clock the sun broke through and I put on my bee suit and headed out to checked the queen-less colony. I spent a good while inspecting the frames for any sign of eggs, larvae or a virgin queen.  If there were any signs of a resident queen the forthcoming introduction would be doomed, but I saw nothing. The new queen is the only chance the hive has.

The evening saw a trip to Dog Training and Whiffler was on pretty good form. He was a little wayward when walking to heel, but sharpened up as the class continued ... By the time he was crunching his end of class treat from the Instructor, he had aced the "tricky" yellow box exercise and also made a good attempt at the "STOP DOG" exercise.*

As the day drew to a close I spent time researching Queen introductions on the internet. It all seems quite straightforward; I just need to wait until she arrives and get on with it. I just hope that the workers will accept her and last long enough to raise new brood.

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* Whiffler is placed at the far end of the training room and I walk to the other end. I then recall him. As he comes towards me I give him a "STOP" command with the aim of getting him to stop and sit halfway between his starting point and me.  This exercise is a real challenge as it only takes him five paces, when running,  to get from one end of the hall to the other.  The key to this exercise is to get him to recall slowly!

Two items removed from the "to do" list

I have been trying to find a free morning to creosote the shed for a few weeks. Today that morning finally arrived and by nine o'clock I was stood, brush in hand, surveying the task ahead of me.  A sacrificial dust sheet was deployed to soak up splashes and a couple of litres of the oily, brown liquor was decanted in to a pot. There was no going back ...

... Two hours later I had ruined an old pair of jeans and a sweatshirt and had a freshly coated shed.  Creosote, or rather "creosote substitute" may be a bit  "old fashioned", but the dark colour has blended the building in to the background under the shade of the Yew tree and it it now far less conspicuous.

I cleaned myself up and dumped my, now aromatic clothing, in the shed where it can fester until I find time to apply the second coat. Lunch was taken and then 30% and I pottered in the garden, occupying ourselves with watering and a touch of planting.

The weather was beautiful, so I took advantage and wheeled the black Enfield Bullet Classic from the garage. I unzipped the vents in my jacket, put on a helmet and headed out nowhere in particular. I spent an hour or so touring the local lanes and byways before returning to find 30% continuing with our holiday planning.

As the heat of the day had now passed we headed out for a walk with the dogs and had a lovely time exploring a couple of paths and bridleways that we hadn't traipsed for quite some time.

Normally that would have been a full list of accomplishments for a Sunday, but after dinner this evening, just before sun-set we climbed in to the Defender and headed over to the Tweedy residence. It was time to collect the daughter colony from the bottom of the Tweedy garden. TP and I sealed up the hive entrance and securely strapped the hive whilst 30% discussed holiday plans.  We were soon ready to depart and the hive was carefully placed in the back of the car.

A bump free route was taken home and, as the sky darkened, TP and I placed the hive back in our garden.

One good hive, one not so good

I seem to be falling behind with my Journal entries at the moment, so here is another "two days in one" in an attempt to get back on track.

I took a day off work on Friday and spent a very relaxing day, in the company of Mr Tweedy, at  Edgbaston Cricket Ground watching the England v Pakistan Test Match. The weather was lovely and we had a fantastic pair of seats that gave a great view of proceedings. I wouldn't say it was the best days Cricket I have ever seen* but one cannot complain at witnessing six Pakistani wickets and Cook making a half century. I even managed a forty minute snooze in the sun when the English Bowlers were making a meal of the Pakistan tail enders.

And so on to Saturday; I started with some gentle pottering in the garden. I needed to tidy up the site for the daughter colony of bees, as this will be returning to The Pile in the next couple of days. This took no more than twenty minutes and then I donned my bee suit, lit my smoker and finally lifted the lid on the hive that swarmed a fortnight ago.

I had allowed two weeks for the young queen to hatch, mate and settle to laying, but as I made my way through the frames of the brood box there was no sign of queen nor brood. This was not good. As each day passes without a queen the colony dwindles as workers die off . At this point in the year there are only six or seven weeks before the colony changes behaviour and hunkers down for the Winter. There is a faint hope that I missed the Queen and she has just not yet started to lay, but I may well have to write off this colony.

30% and I then took an early lunch before heading in to town for supplies. She headed in to the supermarket, whilst I nipped in to the DIY store next door. Twenty minutes later we were finished and then drove in to the town centre to pick up a new travelling bag for TP ...

... We have started the count down to our holiday; lists are being prepared and bookings are being made. We still have three weeks to go and at this rate we should be ready with no last minute rush.

The next stop was the Tweedy residence where I, again, donned my bee suit and inspected the daughter colony. This was doing really well with seven full frames of brood and plenty of stores. The Queen was seen wandering across a frame, but I didn't need to see her to know that this artificial swarm was the one success of my first Summer of beekeeping.

After more holiday discussions, we headed home, unpacked the car and spent more time in the garden watering and feeding.

The evening was spent in front of a film and checking the internet for information on how quickly a Queen Bee will come in to lay. There is a slight chance, but I am not laying any bets.

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* This was back in '97 at Trent Bridge, when I witnessed Shane Warne decimate the English Batsmen.

Moving Projects Forward

After more than a fortnight of procrastination I finally found a free morning to sex up a presentation that I need to deliver in ten days time.

After adjusting a proxy setting I managed to gain access to the Corporate website where all of the various templates, themes and icons are held. *  I eventual found a series of icons that should cover all of the points i need to make. I then made a start on seriously reducing the word count of my slide deck.

The day rumbled on and I eventually grew tired of Powerpoint slides. TP returned home from early from his Summer employment as a Car Valet for a local Sales Pitch, and I recruited his assistance to help lay the heavy concrete slab in to position for the return of the artificial swarm colony that I created a few weeks ago ...

... All I need to do now is find an evening when the weather looks fine, TP is available to assist and the Tweedies are in , so I can go and retrieve my hive.

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*Perhaps it is just me, but I do find it somewhat ironic that I need to mess about with my laptop proxy settings before I can gain access to this material. I really would have expected to just click the link and land there.

Good news all round

Today I received my mid-year assessment from my Boss. I have obviously managed to conceal my dissatisfaction, frustration and boredom perfectly as his narrative was praise filled from start to finish ...

... Trying to look at it from a glass half full  perspective, if I apply for a new role the Hiring Manager will get to see these comments.

I managed to complete yet another day without getting anywhere near the PowerPoint presentation that I have supposed to be updating for the past three weeks. I now have a date by which it must be finished so that should help to focus my mind.

There was also news today from a Client about a series of RFPs that should arrive over the next 12 months. This announcement appears to have put the entire Organisation in to a flap ...

... I was the odd one out when I looked at it and thought "actually that isn't too bad and gives us plenty of time to prepare for the tricky one" ... is it me?

I eventually managed to shut the lid on the laptop and headed a few miles down the road to a Pilates session with 30%. I am absolutely amazed at how much I actually look forward to these sessions, especially considering that I needed to be dragged to the first one and very nearly didn't make it through the door.

This evening's session was somewhat less strenuous than some of the recently ones and I am noticing that my core strength and flexibility is definitely improving.  Sit-ups are becoming easier and I can now put all five fingers to the floor when bending from the waist.

Lows 'n Highs

I really did not want to face work today.

There was nothing particularly problematic that needed to be done. I just did not want to face another day of idiotic questions asked by lazy people who have yet to learn the basic skills of problem management.

This morning's call about a Contract Change was a classic example. A call had been held last week, where I was asked to initiate a couple of actions and provide a couple of pieces of evidence. I did all of that promptly and turned up to today's call to find that none of my completed actions had been reviewed or incorporated in the intervening days.

The lazy incompetents had arranged the call to get me to direct them to the right e-mails and baby talk them through the texts ... If there was ever proof that money is not the key motivator, this job is it.

Just after lunch there was a knock at the door. I answered it and found Hank, our local Paving Contractor, on the doorstep. I had been expecting him to turn up for the past week and he had finally appeared. We wandered in to the garden and I pointed out the walling and paving jobs that needed addressing. He paced it up and provided a rough estimate that seemed very reasonable so I mentally increased it by 50% and gave him the go-ahead. He should have his team here towards the end of September and they will make quite an impact by the time they have finished.

The day ambled on and eventually I was able to close the lid on my laptop and clear the bomb site that we call a kitchen.

We had an early dinner this evening and then headed out to Dog Training with Whiffler. He was an absolute star tonight and even managed the challenging treat in a lidded box exercise that has overloaded his grey matter for months.

Weekend Round Up

It was another busy weekend here at The Pile which, unsurprisingly, featured further efforts to transform the garden.

Saturday started with 30% disappearing off to the Supermarket for provisions. I wanted to mow the lawn, but needed to wait a while for the overnight dew to dry.  I therefore wandered out to the garage and tinkered with The Shitter; oil levels were checked, the engine was warmed and levels were checked again.

This token motorcycle maintenance didn't take very long and the lawn was still damp, but I reasoned that it had been cut wetter than this, so set about trimming the sward. About an hour later I had finished and rewarded myself with a coffee out in the garden where I surveyed the results of my efforts.

Directly after lunch I headed over to inspect the hive at the Tweedy residence. It took no more than twenty minutes to see that the colony was performing superbly. The Queen was sighted and the frames were packed with eggs, larvae and sealed brood.  I was unsure about available space in the hive, so added an extra Super  just in case. I then headed home via a couple of hardware stores to pick up a pair of edging shears and some concrete ballast.

The rest of the afternoon was spent preparing a site for the hive that is currently in the Tweedy's garden.* The selected site is in a sunny spot in the, now cleared, briar patch. I marked and dug out a shallow footing for a 3' x 2' concrete slab and had just about finished when 30% reminded me that I needed to tidy up before dinner.

The evening saw the arrival of the Mr & Mrs Tweedy. We had a splendid meal before settling down to tweak our route for our upcoming US road trip. I am really looking forward to the trip, but found the planning session somewhat frustrating.

30% and the Tweedies insisted on using a map and then asking how far point A was from point B and how long it would take to drive the distance. I much prefer to use the Mapquest website which is very much click 'n drag with automatic generation of routes and statistics.  As a result, I left them to their map and input their requirements in to the Mapquest website. On a regular basis I emailed them a url which would allow them to pull up the route at the click of a mouse button.

I felt very much like I was holding a blow torch, watching Homo Neanderthalensis sweating over a bow drill in an attempt to make fire.

Moving on to Sunday, I started the day at the site for my second hive. A reasonable quantity of bricks, concrete and stones were collected and a merry hour was spent with a sledge hammer, creating a hardcore sub-base for the concrete slab.

I realised that I would need a finer ballast to fill some of the voids in the hardcore, so headed in to town to pick up a couple of sacks ... An hour later I stood back and was satisfied with the foundation. The mixing of the mortar and the laying of the slab can wait until later in the week.

In the afternoon more gardening took place before I retired to the sofa for a kip.

As five o'clock drew near I headed out to the garage and extracted TP's little Yamaha and the Shitter. TP has been trying to sell his little 125 for a few weeks and has finally attracted a potential buyer that is a) local and b) making all the right noises.**

We headed in to Worcester and met up with the potential purchaser at his place of work. He wandered around the bike, asked a couple of questions and then suggested we head in to his office to complete the paperwork and transfer the payment. That was it, no haggling, no nit-picking over the condition of the bike. It was the most straightforward vehicle sale ever.

As TP was sorting out the registration documents I realised that I would not be able to give him a lift home on the Shitter, as it has as single seat.  I had not expected the deal to be completed this evening, so I had to race home and swap to the Honda and return to pick up TP.

So now I have more space in the garage, but also have a son with a motorcycle license, but no bike. How long is it going to be before I hear "Dad, can I borrow your bike?"

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* It is doing really well, but is sited under fruit trees and, consequently, want to bring it back home before the wasp season.  Wasps are notorious for robbing hives and honey is going to attract them like proverbial flies to a bucket of manure.
** Prior to this weekend he has had his time wasted by clueless seventeen year olds, making ludicrous offers and expecting TP to courier the bike to the other end of the country.

I managed to get through Friday without moaning

I managed to get through Wednesday and Thursday without telling any of my colleagues to go and fuck themselves ... although there were a couple of occasions where it was very tempting. Basically it was two days of conference calls and interruptions preventing me from addressing the pice of work I should have been doing.

I suppose I could have worked late to hone a PowerPoint deck, but I do tend to be a bit old fashioned about working late, unless it is absolutely necessary. I have done plenty of late nights, early mornings and weekend work when I have been up against the clock as a result of an aggressive bid calendar. However, I am afraid that tidying up a Presentation to educate my peers and their managers ... note "peers and their managers" about best practice on a upcoming bid does not yet warrant a late night in front of a laptop.

This may seem a little self destructive, but the Piano Movers have their own way of moving Pianos. I have found that they are not actually particularly good at this aspect of the work, but seem very reluctant to change. They are also very hierarchical with regard to decision making and there are major challenges in getting the support to resource bids, let along change the way they are run.

The proverbial shit will hit the fan in the next couple of weeks when our customer finally gets their shit together and publishes its RFP timelines ... Hopefully that will focus minds, including my own.

After two days of covering colleague's work I was finally able to set my out-of-office message on Thursday evening and start a three day weekend.

Friday saw us chuck the dogs in the back of the Defender and head a couple of miles down the road to a Game Fair that is being held this weekend at a local Stately Home. We had a great day wandering amongst the exhibits and retail stalls that were all loosely connected* with Huntin', Shootin' 'n Fishin'. 

It was very much a dog friendly day and Tyson, Marauder and Whiffler drew a fair bit of attention as it is not every day that you see a family daft enough to own three Standard Poodles. It was pleasing to see quote a few other Poodles at the fair and very interesting to see that our three recognised and interacted with other Poodles in a different way to other breeds of dog.

Our trip home was thankfully short and we spent the evening relaxing after our wanderings across the show ground.

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* In some cases very tenuously

Frustration

My frame of mind didn't really improve today. I scanned my inbox and noticed that I was to attend a review session in preparation for a Contract Change.

The problem from my perspective is that the original solution and price was assembled in November last year and I am damned sure that I had provided most, if not all, of the information that I was now being asked for.

I searched through my archives and replied to the invitation sending over a couple of emails that had originally been issued months ago. I then attended the call and, again, spent my time trawling though my archive re-issuing communications to respond to their questions.

My main issue is that I was not the originator for any of the information my colleagues needed. I just happened to be the  Filing Clerk with a great memory and could lay my hands on the various documents at a moments notice. It is fair to say that I was not impressed at being pulled in to find and deliver previously provided evidences.

This may give an idea of how half-arsed some of my colleagues are; yesterday I released some pricing on behalf of a colleague. There was no follow up from the Sales team in my inbox this morning, but it became apparent that they decided that they needed a call with me ...

... I know this because when I returned to my desk after my lunch break it was apparent that I had been invited to a meeting precisely two minutes prior to that meeting's start time. Most of the time I would have done my best to attend, a call at short notice, but these idiots attempted a a call at short notice right in the middle of the day. The irony is that they are a Dutch Team and are notorious for not eating at their desks.

I am well aware that work is winding me up at present. It isn't hard and I am not over burdened. I am just incredibly frustrated at how poorly things are progressed. There are people doing some great things, but generally they are immersed in a mire of ineptitude and incomprehension.

I really do need to check the Corporate Job Search page and see if there is anything new advertised.*

This evening I threw together a Chicken Balti for TP and myself before disappearing down the road to a Pilates class. It was quite intense and was starving by the time I returned home. Fortunately TP had time the reheating and cooking of rice to perfection and dinner was served within minutes.

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* I now do this at least once a week

Vacation Cover

I have already mentioned that a colleague of mine is away sunning himself in the South of France and that I have been strong armed in to providing some cover whilst he is away.

He is a lovely chap, but he does seem to have a natural talent for making things very complicated. For a start he actually recruited another colleague to provide holiday cover and she did ...

... up until she went on holiday on Friday.

I have therefore had to pick up the baby for the last three days of his holiday with a Chinese Whispers hand over from his preferred support.

"Ah!" I hear you say. "Only supporting for three days ... piece of cake".

Normally I would agree and my natural approach would have been to do the bare minimum and hand back his disorganised and poorly documented crap on Thursday.  Unfortunately a commitment had been made to deliver some pricing by Wednesday, so I found myself begging for costs, hurriedly preparing these for pricing and sweet talking Little Miss Sunshine* in to a surprisingly cooperative frame of mind.

I managed to get the pricing completed and released today but am now doing my best to hide away from the expected questions as there is about nine months of history, about which, I haven't a clue.

Now I expect you are thinking that I have finished the rant about providing holiday cover for colleagues, but, no,  there is a whole other dimension to this tale ...

... The colleague that disappeared on Friday, the one who was  number one choice as vacation cover, left a very carelessly worded out of office message. As a result I am being dragged in to every bloody issue that lands in her inbox and am having to research them and pass them on to the appropriate recipients.

It's not as though I had any of my own work to be getting on with.

By the time the clock struck five I was well and truly fucked off and was glad to leave them to fester in mires of their own making.

This evening was Dog Training and I am pleased to report that Whiffler performed really well . He has seemed a little disinterested recently, but was engaged and motivated this evening. It may have helped that we had a few new exercises to challenge him.

---

* Our Pricer

Just like Saturday, but with fewer bees

Sunday seemed like a re-run of Saturday with another early morning Tip run to dispose of more brambles and the last of the tree stump.

By half past nine we were back at home and I returned to the Briar Patch to remove the last of the bramble and ivy. It was slow going and hot, hard work; I was glad to stop as midday approached.

30% was conspicuously absent after the Tip run, but she did have a reasonable excuse.  She needed to pack for a trip to the Netherlands; she was flying out later on in the day.

TP and I bade farewell to 30% just after twelve and, after an extended lunch break, I returned to the patch ...

... and there I stayed until I had finally finished the transformation from scrub to garden.

It has been a bit of a mission. The plan is to get this area of the garden tidied up and planted. We have a Ground Works Contractor coming over next week to view the job and hopefully quote for the walling and paving work.

Not everything went to plan

30% and I made an early start today and were heading towards the Tip well before nine o'clock. We had soon unleaded a trailer full of garden debris and were heading homeward.

After parking the trailer I decided to implement a plan that I had been mulling over for the past week. There is a large tree stump* in the middle of the briar patch that I am clearing and I had been thinking about using the Defender to pull it from the ground.  My recent clearance efforts had cut through the majority of the now rotten roots, so I thought I had a chance, but my rope was not particularly  strong and was the definite weak point in the plan.

We soon had the Defender positioned and the rope attached to the stump. 30% stood well back and I started to take up the slack and pull on the stump. As expected the rope gave way and the stump looked exactly as it had five minutes previously.

As we returned to inspect the stump 30% pointed skywards and we noticed a mass of bees. My colony had chosen this moment to swarm and for the next thirty minute the air was filled with bees until they settled in a nearby tree. The front of the hive was also covered in a blanket of bees that had remained.

I had obviously overlooked a mature Queen cell when I last inspected the hive a couple of weeks ago and, in the intervening time, she had hatched, mated and was now leading a swarm away from my hive.  I put out a nucleus box in the hope that the swarm might see it as an attractive home  and then returned to the Briar Patch.

With Plan A having failed I decided to proceed with a much more basic Plan B. A spade and Felling Axe were collected from the shed and I started to split away sections of the stump. It was hard going in the heat of the day but within a couple of hours I had reduced the stump to a solitary spike of wood attached to a rotted root.  Two or three swing of the axe severed the spike and I had finally removed the last major obstacle from the old rockery. From here on in it was just a few brambles and ivy.

In the afternoon 30% and I loaded up the Defender with beekeeping paraphernalia and headed over to The Tweedy's house to inspect the Daughter colony and catch up on their news.

The colony was doing really well and had consumed the three and a half litres of syrup that had been given to them last week. I removed the feeder and worked my way through the hive. I moved the outer frames inwards as the bees seem reluctant to draw the foundation on these. I also removed a frame of stores from the brood box and replaced it with a frame of foundation. Hopefully this will ensure that the Queen has plenty of space to lay.

We then spent a pleasant hour drinking tea and catching up on each other's news before heading home.

Next job was to take a look inside the hive that had just swarmed ...

... it was apparent that my assumption was correct.  I had missed a mature Queen cell a fortnight previously and she had definitely been laying. There were a dozen or more mature Queen cells in the hive and I reduced these to two in number. All I can do now is hope that the swarm has created sufficient space in the hive that the next Queen will settle and lay in the hive.

By the time I had finished my second hive inspection I was "cooked". I t had been a very hot day and I had spent most of it working in the sun. The evening was spent doing very little apart from rehydrating.

---

* There was a large Silver Birch that was felled back in 2007 when we prepared the site for the construction of our extension and garage.

It's 4.30 p.m. and I'm out of here

As I get older I relish Fridays more and more. I can put the idiocies of work behind me and enjoy a couple of days of home and family life.

I had to get the working day out of the way first and this was surprisingly painless.  A review call that I had requested to be scheduled next week was arranged for this afternoon so the first activity of the day was to ensure that my Techies were available and invited.

I then held a "1-2-1" with my Manager which was as dissatisfying as the previous one. I arrange these so he can provide feedback on my performance, a touch of mentoring and general advice. Simply being told that everything is going really well doesn't help me at all. I feel that he should be challenging me to stretch myself, but this is just not happening.

The rest of the day was filled with a series of hand-over discussions. I am to provide a few days of support for a colleague who is away on holiday. Unfortunately he left for his holiday ten days ago and I was being brought up to speed by his colleague who is about to depart for a holiday herself.

The handover sessions were therefore a case of Chinese Whispers and I was very concerned about what I was about to inherit for the next few days. My colleague's approach is somewhat disorganised and it is fair to say that documentation is not one of his strengths. I was therefore provided with a series of e-mails and a narrative that I am sure changed each time it was repeated. Fortunately  my support should be limited to engaging our obliging Pricer early next week, assuming that I get the promised cost files.

The afternoon review session went surprisingly well and I was able to close the lid on the laptop at half past four.

The early evening was spent enjoying the garden and loading up the trailer with garden debris in preparation for a trip to the Tip early tomorrow morning...

... Here starts the weekend

If you want a job doing ...

A few weeks back I had a minor moan about a large pile of wood that a friend had donated, but we really did not need. It had sat behind the garage for a good few years and it needed to go. TP and I had taken half of it to the Tip and 30% had offered the remainder to a frolleague who lives a few hundred yards down the road. The frolleague had accepted but did not seem in any rush to come and collect the wood.

I was somewhat frustrated by this situation so loaded up the trailer with the wood. He could either come and hitch the trailer to his car or I would take the damned stuff to the Tip. A few weeks had passed and I really needed to free up the trailer, but there was still no sign of the wood being collected.

Yesterday I sent him an instant message and finally managed to get him to commit to collecting the load. This morning he turned up bright and early and I finally waved bye bye to the large pile of pallet wood ...

... The trailer was returned later in the day and I can finally think about a trip to the tip with the large quantity of brambles that have been cut back over the past couple of weeks.

The working day was the usual tales of poor strategy, refusal to accept responsibility and general muddled thinking. I took a break from work just after four o'clock and got the lawn mowed. I returned to my desk for a call, scheduled for the hour from six until seven, and was overjoyed that it was aborted after twenty minutes.

As a result I actually managed to make it to this evening's Pilates session and was quite amazed that my core strength actually appears to be improving.

Time to change the locks on the garage?

It was another beautiful day and, if I am honest, I did my best to see as much of it as I could.

I attended calls, kept my email up to date and attempted to discern the process for a new project that I have picked up. I even drafted a PowerPoint deck for a review that I need to attend, but, whenever possible, I wandered outside to enjoy the glorious sun in the garden.

Today's big new was that TP passed the final element of his A2 motorcycle test and it is fair to say that his little Yamaha's days are definitely numbered. He can now legally ride both of my Enfield's and, as it says in today's title, perhaps it is time to change the garage locks.

30% also returned from her short break at a Health Spa and regaled us with tales of face packs, Thalassotherapy and protein shakes ...

... yep, it sounds like the things my nightmares are made of!

Mind you she did well at this evening's Pilates session, considering that it was her fourth or fifth work out of the day.

Perhaps I should have stayed at home.

Today the weather was glorious and far too nice to be stuck in an office in front of a laptop. At least I was working at home and was able to wander out and enjoy the weather and garden from time to time.

On one of these visits to the garden I pumped up the tyre on the wheel barrow and paid a visit to the front cellar where I collected a 25 litre drum of creosote substitute . This was wheeled up to the shed, as I thought this evening would be perfect to get a coat of preservative on the wood.

It was only as I was preparing a container to hold the preservative that I realised that I had Dog Training this evening and would not be painting the shed.

As the afternoon turned to evening I fed TP and myself with a thawed and reheated casserole and then headed off to the Dog Training session ...

... I'm not sure whether it was the hot weather but it is fair to say that Whiffler was not at his best. I wish I had stayed at home with a brush in my hand.

I forgot to mention ...

I received an e-mail from my Boss advising that the RFI response that I managed in June had been successful;  we have been selected to receive the Customer's RFP, which should arrive in the second half of August.

At least one of my hives is doing well

Unsurprisingly, Sunday morning was also spent on the Briar Patch.

I started gently by bagging up yesterday's debris, but was soon digging out roots and clearing tangles of brambles and ivy.  The day was much hotter than yesterday and as midday approached it was too hot to continue so I headed towards the shade of the house.

I also needed to bid farewell to 30% as she was off for a couple of days at a Health Spa with her friend; Jules. Just before she left she doled out instructions about frozen meals and cooking vegetables, seeming to forget that I had managed to make my way through many years of independent living. She didn't, however, comment on the wet bed linen that needed hanging out or the pile of dry washing that needed bringing in from the garden ...

... As a Completer-Finsiher there are days when I simply shake may head in amazement at my Partner's habits. I knew that I needed to keep me, TP and the dogs fed, so mention of wet washing left in the machine would have been a much more valuable parting comment!

I lunched and fed two of the three dogs.* I then managed to make contact with the Tweedy's and arranged to visit and inspect the new hive later in the afternoon.

I would love to take a peek inside the original hive in the garden, but the advice is to leave it for another two, preferably three, weeks to give time for the Virgin Queen to hatch and take her mating flights; only then do I stand any chance of seeing new brood in the hive. All I do know is that the roar from that hive is incredible since I created the artificial swarm last weekend.

In the early afternoon I gathered together various items of beekeeping  equipment and headed over to visit the Tweedy residence. I wandered down their garden and was delighted to see that the spot that we had chosen for the hive was in a pool of dappled sunlight. There were plenty of workers coming and going and from the outside all looked good.

I suited up, blew a  few puffs of smoke in to the hive entrance and waited a minute or two for the colony to calm. I then remove the roof and crown board and was delighted to see that the bees had consumed all of the syrup that I had provided on Monday.** The feeder was put to one side and I could immediately see that they had been very busy over the past week.

Most of the foundation had been drawn out in to comb and the frames were packed with stores. I worked my way quickly through the frames and , despite forgetting my glasses, soon saw larvae. I even spotted the Queen, so all is well with this new colony. My only concern was did the Queen have sufficient space for laying with so much stores, so I added a Super to provide a brood and a half. I fed another three and a half litres of syrup and then closed up the hive.  I was delighted with the way this colony had developed over the past week since being split from the parent colony.

I then tidied up my equipment and the site and wandered up to Join P&R for a cup of tea and a chat in a shady spot. I left around four o'clock and headed back towards home.

That just about sums up the main event of of the day. The evening was the usual routine of Dinner, Dogs and dishwasher, before relaxing after a particularly productive couple of days.

---

* There are fussy eaters and then there is Whiffler. I have never seen a dog so disinterested in food. Oftentimes he will just sniff his food and wander off, only returning to eat it when Tyson starts to show an interest in his bowl. I swear he only eats it to spite her.
** When I created this nucleus colony it had plenty of brood, but very few stores and the syrup was provided to rectify that deficiency. The syrup is needed to nourish the brood and bees and ensure they have enough food to be able to draw the frames of foundation in to fresh comb.

On a Misson

Just before nine o'clock I wheeled the Enfield from the garage and headed in to Redditch for a long overdue haircut. I was expecting the usual Saturday morning queue of Lads and Dads, but it was surprisingly quiet and I was directed straightaway to an empty chair. Twenty minutes later I was back on the Enfield and heading home.

I put the bike back in the garage and ignored the fact that it really needed a bloody good clean, instead I checked the oil level and realised that it was very low. Next task was to head over to Redditch motorcycles and buy oil.

A quick chat with Chris reassured me that I was unlikely to have done any damage and I was soon back home and glugging a few ml of 20W50 in to the oil filler.

As midday approached 30% returned from a trip to the Supermarket and we headed off for the final weighing and measuring, as it is the end of our six week diet and exercise programme. We joined the rest of our group in a private room in a local Pub and went through the same ritual.. We had all made incredible progress and 30% and I will be continuing with the regime.

For some reason we were shattered after lunch and we both had a snooze for an hour or so. On waking I headed out to the garden and gathered tools from the shed ...

... It was time to attack the Briar Patch once more. I spent a good three and a half hours out there and can report that another couple of square meters have been cleared, filling five rubble sacks with huge sections of root that I have managed to remove from the large Silver Birch stump in the middle of the patch.

This definitely filled my exercise quota for the day and it is fair to say that the evening was spent immobile on the sofa. I am surprised that my shoulders felt amazingly pain free considering that I had been swinging a felling axe for much of the afternoon.

Nothing to see here

Friday was very quiet.

I started with a an early call which I hoped would get some much needed support to resolve a design issue in a production service. Unfortunately the team on the call were not interested in getting involved and I will have to seek expertise from other parts of the Organisation. I only picked up this piece of work to help out a struggling colleague and I now seem to own the entire problem and its resolution ...

... as soon as I get clarity on the appropriate load balancer configurations I am chucking this right back over the fence.

The rest of the working day ambled on and by lunchtime I had completed and submitted status reports and was scratching around for something to occupy me for the rest of the afternoon. I ended up on another education session with it's obligatory multiple choice assessment to demonstrate that I actually paid attention.

I finished the afternoon with a disappointing 90% pass and headed out to the garden. Although it had rained earlier, I judged the that the lawn could be mowed and spent an hour wandering up and down the sward.

That's just about it.

It was not a busy day. I did make a batch of syrup up, as I plan to head over to the Tweedy's at some point over the weekend to inspect my new colony of bees, but other than that my day was particularly uneventful.

Catching up

It has been an unusual week in that I have been in the Office for a two day workshop and that has somewhat disrupted my normal routines ... or, to put it bluntly, the time that I normally blog was taken up with making myself presentable and getting my arse in to the office.

Here ia an attempt to summarise the past three days.

On Tuesday I spent the day at home and the aches and pains of a weekend's heavy gardening had finally subsided enough that I felt able to attend a Pilates session in the evening. As days go it wasn't too bad.

On Wednesday I needed to be out early as I had volunteered to pick up a colleague from Birmingham Airport. I wandered in to the Arrivals Hall just as his plane should have landed and wandered over to the Arrivals Gate. I studied the arrivals board and then learnt that his flight had been delayed by an hour and a half.

An espresso and a copy of the Motorcycle News occupied me for much of the ninety minutes and I was not going to get wound up by an enforced wait in a relatively comfy chair with a hot beverage and a light read.

The next two days were spent in a workshop where Technical Architects debated the design of a Wide Area Network. It is fair to say that the discussion worried me. We are being pushed to develop costing and pricing for a solution that will be needed in the next few weeks.

I am already being pushed to deliver a milestone plan for this solution, but it is apparent that we do not yet have a viable technical strategy, let alone solution designs, equipment lists and costs.

I see ineffective Executive Escalations, dawning realisation and strategy reversals in the very near future.

Another unusual Monday

Instead of settling in front of my laptop this morning I found myself wandering down the road to the Village shop.

Four kilos of sugar were purchased and, unsurprisingly, I was asked if I was making jam this morning ...

... back at home I put the kettle on to boil and put a saucepan on the hob. Within a few minutes I was stood stirring three and a half litres of sugar syrup.  A short while later the sugar crystals had dissolved, I left the pan to cool and set about my working day.

There was nothing of particular significance to report today. A Presentation deck was drafted and I pondered how to respond to a peculiar email in my inbox.  It had obviously been hastily drafted on a Blackberry by it's Author and was very disjointed. It also lacked any history or attachments to give it relevance.  As I type this entry I am still "pondering".

On the occasions when I had a few minutes spare I headed out to the garage and assembled the various beekeeping items I would need later in the day.

I finished work at a reasonable time and loaded the car with a couple of bags holding my bee suit, the syrup and other odds 'n sods that I was likely to need. Half an hour later I was in The Tweedy's garden zipping myself in to the suit. It didn't take long to level up the hive and I didn't have to perform an inspection. All I needed to do was lift off the crown board, add a feeder, pour in the syrup and close up the hive. The whole exercise from start to finish took about ten minutes and it was rewarding to see a worker bee sipping from a drop of syrup in the feeder as I was finishing up.

At least this new colony now has plenty of stores to feed brood and help them build out the fresh foundation if the weather is poor in the coming days.

I said my goodbyes and headed home for an early dinner. We then headed out for an hour of Dog Training with Whiffler.  He missed last week's lesson so I wasn't expecting perfection this week ...

... He wasn't appalling,  in fact there were a couple of exercise he performed reasonably well, but overall he definitely needs more practice.

That just about sums up the day's events apart from a couple of calls about my MRI scan. The scans didn't show any problem with the hip, although it was pointed out that to get a definitive diagnosis I would need to have a more detailed scan with a die injection. I need to have a referral from a Consultant for that and I am unlikely to get that without excluding all other possibilities.

The next step is an examination of my spine and possibly a further MRI to see if a trapped nerve is causing the issue. Then, and only then, do I stand a chance of a referral to a Consultant.

I have already got my Private Health "Joker"  ready to play.