Herding Cats

That pretty much sums up my day.

I have a workshop to run on Thursday and trying to sort Agendas, attendees and presenters as well as my own material. Everyone seems to be congenitally unavailable which has meant that a single workshop on Thursday now has two associated "sub-sessions" tomorrow.

I lost the will to live when an attendee asked me about travel expenses so I pointed him at the budget holder but he decided to use me as a handy "go between". He also decided that I was similarly handy when he needed information from the company intranet on how to get to the workshop location......

...... "Give me a broom and I'll * sweep the floor as well" 

--------------------------------------

* I have avoided using the words "shove", "it", "up", "my", "arse", & "and" to ensure I don't offend anyone.

Done and Dusted

After smoking the 4 flitches of bacon yesterday I left them in the fridge overnight. I suppose, at this point, it is worth mentioning that smoking doesn't only add flavour but also has preservative effects. Many of the chemical compounds released during the smoking process are antibacterial or antioxidant. Smoking therefore reduces the amount of bacteria in the meat and also slows down the process by which the fats in the meat can become rancid

By way of a recap the original side was cut in to 3 flitches to make handling during curing more straightforward. After curing the 3 flitches were divided again to make 6 in total. Two of these were left as "green" unsmoked bacon and were massaged in black treacle and maple syrup and left for just under a week in the fridge. They were sliced and frozen just over a week ago. We tested them before freezing and can report that both were fantastic. The Black Bacon is an amazing colour and the sweetness of the treacle combined well with the salty flavour of the cure.

The remaining 4 flitches were wrapped in muslin and hung in the garage for a couple of weeks. This is a necessary stage as the meat has to develop a pellicle on the surface which allows the smoke particles to adhere more easily to the meat.

The bacon was smoked yesterday and all that remained to be done was slicing and packing.

The original side weighed just over about 15 lbs. Approximately 3+ lbs of weight is lost as a result of water removed by the process.  I have therefore ended up with about 12 lbs of dry cured, hand cut bacon*. The original cost of the side was £60 so the Lb weight is £5.00 or thereabouts. I know I haven't costed my time but I guess that this is no more than 3 hours in total and the cure and smoking sawdust were either free or a couple of pounds at most.

It tastes great and because it is dry cured, there is none of the  white scum and water that oozes from commercial wet cured bacon during cooking.

I appreciate that a full side of pork is a large investment but, if your interest has been piqued, why not give it a try on a smaller scale. A piece of belly pork will cost a few pounds and will give fantastic streaky bacon or beautiful cubes of pancetta to add authentic flavour to any Italian pasta dish. I appreciate that smoking may not be achievable for everyone but it isn't mandatory.

Go on, give it a try.**

-------------------------------------------

* Plus a few lardons or pancetta
** I'm more than happy to answer any questions via the Journal

Got a Light Boy?

Yep, I'm still Smoking.

The side of Bacon that was dry cured a couple of week back has been retrieved from the garage and suspended over a smoky little charcoal fire in the Inglenook. Most of today has been spent doing chores with one eye on the fire. This reminds me of yet another of my Dad's descriptive sayings; "one eye on the fire and the other up the chimney" for someone who had a cock-eye or a glass eye.   It pretty much sums up my day so far.

This evening we are off to see Reginald D Hunter over at Warwick Arts Centre tonight so it will be an early supper and out of the door by 6.30.

Blackberry News

Well that's got rid of the i-Phone Users.

Back in August 30% and I picked some of the early blackberries. They were still quite tart and there weren't really enough for a decent pie or crumble so, after some recipe research and adaptation, Blackberry Vodka was the product we settled on.

Now nearly three months later I have strained the liquer off the fruit and spices and bottled it. I checked the position of the sun with regard to the Yard Arm and sampled a small glass. I'm really pleased with the result. It is sweet and "Christmassy" as a result of the Brown Sugar and Spices with the, still present, spirit sensation of the Vodka. The Blackberries are there too adding a splendid colour and a distinctive fruity flavour.

Now, I've nothing against Baileys but .......

I appreciate that it is way too late to make a batch this year but the recipe was as follows

• a litre, or thereabouts, of inexpensive Vodka
• 15 tbsp of Brown Sugar or thereabouts
• a couple of cinnamon sticks, crumbled
• a dozen, or so, cloves
• one and a half pounds of  Blackberries

Add all of the above to a preserving jar, seal and shake very day for the first week. The shake once a week, or when you remember. After three months strain off the liquer and bottle. It will improve further with age.

Salut!

Travel Plans

These seem to have occupied a good chunk of time today ....

.... arranging flights, arranging visa waivers, phoning credit and debit card companies to avoid having one's cards blocked and so it goes on.

People say that that "it is better to travel than to arrive".......  Well, that may be so, but having to estimate virtually every expense and then gain four, YES FOUR - levels of approval before I could even book the flight certainly sucked the joy out the planning stage.

I have been to the States a couple of times but never to the East Coast. I'm hoping that Boston lives up to the glowing reports that everyone seems to give it.

..... HANG ON - "its better to travel that to arrive". I have flown on many occasions and I know what air travel is like. Customer Service that seems to be based on the assumption that they are doing you a favour and that very expensive ticket you have purchased is their license to treat you like pond life. A seat that varies from "miserly and uncomfortable" to "broken" and food .......

.......  Yes food - that's probably a subject to steer well clear of.

Then there is their ability to loose baggage and delay flights without so much as a by your leave. Hmmm, I hope it's better to arrive than travel.

A few years back 30%, TP and I had the good fortune to be upgraded to Business Class on a flight to Cairo. I can say without fear of contradiction that the unintentional and intentional pain and distress of "Cattle Class" are totally reversed up there behind that Curtain. There were as many Flight Attendants for the 24 of us "up front" than there were for the remainder of the flight which was probably 240 peasants. The drinks were free and frequent and the food was served on bone china with cutlery and there was a choice. I had the Turbot.
Yep - TURBOT - real fish not some nuked pap that had been knocked up three months ago in a warehouse near Heathrow and had then been deep frozen after the secret process to remove any flavour or texture from it.

The seating was large and comfortable. They had selected a fine blue leather to upholster them and had considerately spaced them so if the chap in front wanted to recline he could do so without imposing in to my personal space. We loved it.

I'm sat here wondering what sort of offering* I need to make to the Gods in order to secure similar good fortune on Sunday week?

-----------------------------------------------

* I'm thinking that this is way beyond chicken or goat and probably up in to the realms of Hippo or Lion.

Motoring Update.

I'll start today's entry with a crappy joke ...... What do Pelicans and The Prius have in common? ......

 ....... Big Bills!     I did say it was a crappy joke.

Today the Prius went in for a Service at the local Independent Dealer who sold her to me a couple of years back. He is a lovely guy and, when asked how Business was, he advised that there was a national shortage of quality used stock and consequently prices were incredibly high. He cast an eye over the Prius asked for the mileage and smiled when he said that if I wanted sell her I could easily get the same price as I paid for her a couple of years back.

This makes the likely bill a little more palatable. To be fair it wont be expensive as a Defender is not a particularly sophisticated beast and, having just passed it's MOT, I am only looking at replacement of fluids and filters plus the annual fiddle with the wiper motor*.

The discussion was also fruitful, and here is the "large beak", as the Dealer can perform a couple of modifications that I have been considering for a good few months. I may be booking her in for a bit of cosmetic surgery in the next couple of weeks.

its amazing what you can knock up in MS Paint

---------------------------------------------

* The thing will take you up the side of a mountain but if it rains don't expect to see out of the front screen. It seems that they decided to retain a wiper motor design that dates back to the 1960's**
** good it ain't - but she is still not for sale***
*** its a peculiar car that leaks and pours water on you when you get in and you just shrug, smile and get on with your day.

Eddy's Politics

Eddy came in through the cat flap last night.

Having seen off a Grizzly bear and at least two cars in his short life I would have thought that hunting mice was beneath him, but no. Yesterday evening he brought in a live mouse and promptly let it go. The mouse was amazed at this basic feline error and scarpered under the Sofa.

Now I'm not sure if Eddy was saving it for "Ron" - "Later on" - or has heartily embraced the previous Government's view that hunting with hounds is vicious and cruel so they banned it - well, when I say banned, they banned the final kill with hounds, but it is still OK to shoot the fox, deer etc or set a bird of prey on it to tear it apart, kill, dispatch, euthanise it **.

I know Eddy doesn't have a gun license* and I am sure that I would have noticed a large hunting hawk perched in The Pile so I am guessing that it is my role to perform the final act thereby ensuring that we all stay on the right side of the law - as long as they don't look in the box.

A couple of traps were set and I have added another mouse silhouette to the side of the Prius.

--------------------------------------------

* but he does keep a large locked box under his bed
** I'm not actually sure which one of these the Labour Govt thought was appropriate

Yesterday ......

...... I seemed to spend a hell of a lot of time re-arranging a meeting to suit two people that didn't need to attend but thought it would be a good idea seeing as they were in the country etc.

Another large chunk of the day was spent estimating how much a trip to Boston is going to cost. I didn't realise Lincolnshire was so expensive to get to.

One step forward, two steps back.

For the past few weeks TP and I have been taking Tyson and Marauder to a later Dog Training class. It was going really well as the dogs had all reached a reasonable level of training and there was none of the chaotic clamour associated with the puppy classes. The exercises were more advanced and T&M were performing well.

Then a particular Collie decided that it wasn't overly keen on Marauder and took a couple of nips at her heels and barked at her every time she performed an exercise.

Unfortunately M is not the most confident of dogs. She is very bright and very easy to train but, despite socialisation, is nervous of certain dogs. We don't know what triggers it. With some dogs she is happy to say hello and bounce around but others elicit playful but nervous barking. It is improving as she grows up but there is still some way to go.

Well the relationship with the Collie did not improve despite attempts to get them acquainted and M became more and more withdrawn to the point where her tail was between her legs for the entire class and she would lie under my seat unwilling to perform any tasks. Her tail would spring up as soon as we left the Village Hall at the end of training so it was clear that she wasn't happy there. She had literally gone back months in her training at class but was still fine at home.

In an attempt to resolve we have moved to a Monday class and the first session was yesterday. Things are much better, not perfect, but much better so fingers crossed that this will bring her confidence levels back up.

Tyson*, incidentally, is a completely different character and despite the Collie's antics simply gets on with things and ignores him. Most strange how two dogs brought up together in the same environment are so different.

-----------------------------------------------

* This is the dog that has spent a good proportion of this morning stood on her hind legs attempting to nibble Potato's ears. Potato has shown heroic restraint and tolerated this abuse from his perch on the island in the kitchen.

Catching Up ....

I seemed to spend most of Sunday outside.

The morning was spent at the Rugby Club as TP had a match. We arrived early because of the pre-match chat, warm up etc so 30% and I took T&M for a romp around the fields at the back of the club. The match started at 11 but unfortunately it looked like TP's team thought it was starting at 11.45. It wasn't great and I think I'll leave it at that.

Home for a late lunch and a quick Sunday afternoon doze on the Sofa - RESULT - and then out again for a proper walk with T&M.

The evening saw TP out terrorising the village with a Halloween bucket he came back with plenty of Goodies and a tale of rather nasty, but bloody funny, trick that he played on someone who, with hindsight, should probably have said "treat" rather than "trick"

The evening ended relatively early as I am back to work today or tomorrow, as it was then.

A leisurely day.

It was a bit of a late start this morning as 30%, TP and I had spent the previous evening with my oldest and dearest friends.

By late I mean about 10 o'clock and once again 30% woke me with an espresso. She thinks that she may have actually got up earlier than me for more than half of the week which is a Personal Best. Now we have both been on holiday this week so it has been a bit of a "freestyle" waking event. Lets see how she does next week when we move on to the more arduous 7 a.m. alarm event. That is the the gruelling one that sorts the men from the boys and she knows that I have an array of medals, awards and trophies to prove my prowess at crawling from the bed before her.

...... anyway, back to yesterday evening. I do not have many friends and, like many men, am not particularly good at keeping in touch, but James Bond and Moneypenny are my oldest friends. I first met 007 when I left primary school and then met Moneypenny a couple of years later when we all went to the same High School. Funnily enough they were not married at school - that happened a few years later - but I was there for that occasion and for their 25th Anniversary that was celebrated last month.

We do not meet up that frequently, perhaps a couple of times each year, but every time we do it is like no time at all has passed. We just sit and talk and laugh and just enjoy each other's company*. What is great is that they have really taken to 30% as has she to them, so they are truly "our friends" which makes for such a great evening.

Last night James and Moneypenny provided the venue and 30% and I provided the comestibles. We treated them to a variety of cold cuts, faggots and sausages from the expanding Badman repertoire of porcine dishes, a large quantity of profiteroles and the last of the 2009 Sloe Gin. I'll leave it to 007 to provide a commentary on the grub as he occasionally frequents these pages and has been known to make the odd comment.

TP came too but was little seen as he scurried away upstairs and plugged himself in to James Junior's X-Box 360. I assume he spent the evening teaching the young man the finer points of Halo. Moneypenny Junior treated the boys with feminine disdain and sat herself in front of the Polar Express before reluctantly retiring to her bed - Bless.

Needless to say we talked to the small hours and I didn't make it to my bed until 2 o'clock - ouch!
Moneypenny called this afternoon and she had a a request and a complaint - the former was for the faggots recipe and the latter was that we should do "it" more frequently. I heartily agreed and we loosely agreed to get something sorted before Christmas - THIS CHRISTMAS.

Other stuff, I popped over to see Dad this morning and took Marauder along for the ride. She loved meeting up with Tilly and promptly settled down in Dad's Dining Room with Tilly's bone and several pieces of biscuit that seemed to be regularly proffered by Father  - He'll spoil that bloody dog if he is given half a chance.

Later on I walked T&M round the 3 Miler and then took advantage of the fine weather and dry roads and wheeled the "other bike" out of the garage for a run. It was a bit of a trip down memory lane as my unplanned outing took me past my primary school and through the village where I was born and the surrounding areas that I knew as I grew up.

The weather was fine but cool and the views over the County and the views away to the Cotswolds were fantastic and I am pleased to say that although the passing years have not been without change much of what I saw was still recognisable from the last time I toured those lanes some 25 years ago.

This evening see's 30%'s family joining us for dinner so the kitchen is a hive of activity and I am luck to be getting away with table laying duties. Now, where are the forks ......

---------------------------------------------------

* actually we also tend to stuff our faces and drink quite a bit too.

Bangers and its not November 5th yet.

30% had a bit of a coup in Tesco yesterday and arrived home with 4 Pork Shoulder joints. They were "on special" and we had recently used up the last of the sausages in the freezer so today's agenda was set.

I grabbed the sausage bible and worked out the various quantities of seasoning, bread crumb and other flavourings and 30% set to to work sorting these out while I popped out for an appointment. I returned home about an hour later and joined in the prep work and set about roughly dicing the pork before the mincer was started up.

Each joint produced about 2 kilos of minced pork and we had decided to make 4 batches; pork and apple, sweet chilli, cajun and sun dried tomato. After a hour or so of mixing, kneading and squeezing followed by 40 minutes of "stuffing" and we ended up with these ....

 This is somewhere in the region of 24 lbs of sausages and should keep us going for a good while.  It was, incidentally the first time we had used natural hog casings rather than collagen skins and it was interesting to see how, when linked, the "natural sausages had a slight curl whilst the collagen skinned ones were dead straight.

The brawn had also set and was removed from the fridge sliced and sampled. We had an unbiased tester as a friend of TP's  was here for the day. He was aware of the raw ingredients but happily tucked in. It may have been 13 year old bravado but he declared it "good".  As I said yesterday, the brisket of beef really does lift it as a dish and this will be great with pickles and fresh crusty bread.

Everything but the squeal.

So ends the saying that starts "How much of a pig can you eat?"

Today I road tested this adage by making brawn. Brawn is a "potted meat" or coarse pate which is also known by the rather unappetising name of Head Cheese.

The main ingredient of the dish is half a pigs head and a couple of trotters. I happened to have both of these staples in the freezer as they came with the half pig I bought two or three weeks ago. Now I have made brawn before and I know that it may have been an appealing dish 75 years ago or more when meat was a rare treat but to today's palates it is a little on the basic side and needs a little extra to make it an appetising cold cut.

That little extra oomph is provided by a piece of brisket that accompanies the pigs head. So, where do we start. First you need one of these............

I've left the eye in - it'll see you through the week

 Half a pigs head, two trotters and a small piece of brisket. Not the most attractive set of ingredients but stick with me. These are placed in a large pan of water with a can of dry cider, a load of chopped stock vegetables, salt, ground black pepper, a few black peppercorns, some ground nutmeg, bay leaves and a good bunch of parsley and thyme.

This is then left to simmer for a good two to three hours. At the end the "meat" is removed and the stock is left to reduce to about half of its original volume. While that is happening the meat is dismantled.There is a lot of material to be discarded; fat, gristle, bones and skin. The choice cuts are removed and shredded. The main pieces of meat are the brisket and the cheek muscles from the head. The trotters do give up a few morsels but are mainly there to make the stock and give up their gelatin content.

The shredded pork and beef is placed in a bowl and some of the reduced stock is added. A weighted plate sits on top of the brawn and it will be left overnight in the fridge to set.

The end result is a superb potted pork/beef cold cut that is great sliced with salad and pickles. Some of this will be frozen to enjoy at a later date.

The left over stock has an amazing flavour that puts an oxo cube to shame. This will be frozen as well and used in soups or stews later in the year.

After much deliberation.....

I decided that I could not make sanding the bathroom door and frame in the least bit interesting. So here is a picture of a monkey in a jumper with a gob stopper.

Don't ask ....

Today I 'ave been mostly ...

.... taking things at my own pace and it has been lovely.

30% woke before me which is rare and brought me an espresso in bed, After getting myself outside of that, I arose and met the day. It was beautiful. There had been a light frost overnight and the skies were clear and blue.

After breakfast and a quick call to get the Prius booked in for a service I took T&M out for a walk. I took along the new compact camera to see how it performed and am pleased with the first attempts. It was nice to take a walk with no need to be back at home at a specific time for a call or a meal or any of the other things that constrain my free time. This morning was mine and it was liberating to just take in the walk with no pressure to get to the end of it.

The Church from the paddock where VI keep his cow

The frost has seen off the last of the Autumn wild flowers

View across to the Ridgeway

Oaks near the Dew Pond

After the walk we had a leisurely lunch and then went out and chose a light for the recently re-fitted bathroom.

At home later I took the opportunity to clip Marauder's face and feet as she had become very ragged. She now look like a completely different dog and it it quite disconcerting. A little like when your partner comes home with a new hair do - but don't tell 30% that.

A load of logs have been ordered for delivery at the back end of the week so the Log Burner will get it's first run of the season at the weekend if the cold snap continues.

A week at home in the Autumn really is a splendid thing.

For quite some time .....

...... I have been considering the purchase of a compact digital camera.

The reason for the procrastination was not down to cost or image quality or any of the usual things that delay such a decision it was down to the fact that I already have a Digital SLR and it just seemed a backward step to buy a compact.

The D SLR is fantastic. It is a Canon and therefore has a fantastic range of auto-focus lenses and performs brilliantly, the only problem is the weight and bulk. If I am out with T&M and have pockets filled with "pooh bags", dog biscuits etc and am wandering over fields with two energetic dogs the last thing I want clunking round my neck is the best part of a kilo of expensive Japanese electronics and optics. I wanted something that I could pop in my pocket and pull out and take a decent shot that was capable of being printed out to an 8 x 10 or more likely could be displayed on a digital photo frame.

So what finally gave me the kick to go out and buy a compact? I have been advised that I need spend a week in the US in a couple of weeks time for work. This means lugging a suitcase and a laptop bag around and the last thing I also want to be carrying is a digital SLR and ancillaries. I therefore bit the bullet and got myself a dinky little Canon Powershot SX210 IS. I have only had it a few hours and am still getting used to it but it seems to be exactly what I was after.

Here's a sample snap .....

Sell-by-date

Saturday's News

A quiet day was spent at The Pile relishing the fact that a week off means that we have nine full days of leisure in front of us and do not have to cram as much as possible in to two days.

Went to Warwick Arts Centre to see Ross Noble in the evening and have to say that it was a brilliantly random experience. If you have the opportunity see him live.

He did a full 2 and a half hours on Stage and I have to say that there was not a low point in any of it. The audience members who hadn't seen Avatar might have problems with the shaved cat in the monkey suit being painted blue and the fact that there was a disabled chap on a sun bed out the back that was controlling Ross. Personally, I was wetting myself.

A Side of Bacon

It is now 6 full days since I started to cure the full side of Tamworth Pork that arrived last Saturday.

Each day it has been removed from the fridge, massaged with more cure, and re-ordered in the box so that the top moves to the bottom and so forth. after 6 days it looks like this.

The meat has darkened in colour and the texture is much firmer as much of the liquid has been drawn from the meat by the osmotic pressure created by the salt and sugar in the cure. The only smell is that of the aromatics in the cure. There is no "off" smell which I am sure you would get if a piece of pork had been left in an open box in a fridge for 6 days.

Possibly the perfect bacon sandwich

Now the flitches of bacon are washed off and left to soak in fresh cold water for an hour or so. This final soaking removes the salt from the surface of the bacon as it can be too salty for some tastes if this is not done.

The flitches are cut in half to make them more manageable. It can be seen that the cure has affected the entire structure of the meat. There are no areas that look like raw meat as can be seen on the picture above.

They are then wrapped in muslin and left hanging in a cool dry place for a week or so. This is a necessary stage if the meat is to be smoked as a "pellicle" or surface coating needs to form on the flitch so that the smoke adheres to the bacon during that final stage.

Two of the pieces are however to be the subjects of an experiment and are to be further matured in the fridge. One has been coated in Black Treacle and the other in  Maple Syrup. I plan to leave these for a week or so and then sample.

What's Brown & Sticky ? ..... A Stick

My Dad called round today and took a look at the ham hanging in the Garage. He smiled and recounted how my Great Grandfather used to have one hanging above the table in the kitchen. Apparently it used to sit under an Oil Lamp and the heat used to cause the fat to run and drip off the ham. His Father, My Grandfather, also used to home cure and Dad remembers Grand Dad slicing a piece of bacon from a ham and cooking it over the fire on the end of a stick.

Feeling Jaded

Today has been one of those days where I have tried to make progress in a number of areas but have little to show for it really.

I suppose that I shouldn't complain as I can't hit the bulls eye every day but I am off work next week and therefore want to get as much moving or resolved this week so that I can hit the ground running on my return. It is unfortunate that people want to move meetings or are not available to talk or are focused elsewhere and this has left me feeling slightly jaded - what a great word and it describes perfectly how I feel. Slightly annoyed and frustrated.

Still, there were minor successes and I suppose I should look to those and give everything else a bloody good kicking tomorrow..... and then disappear for a week.

We don't have anything planned although I can see some* decorating that needs doing and 30% has advised that she would like to take T&M out for a day somewhere.....

... I suggested that we take them Swimming at the local pool.

No other News really. TP broke up for half term today and is staying over at a friend's house this evening.

--------------------------------

* This is an interesting definition / use of the word "some". If you actually knew what The Pile looked like you would immediately translate to "massive amounts"

I got bored today...

... so I did this.