It's still chilly

The cold snap continues .... Ambridge

Willow in the snow

Ice & Ivy

Setting Sun

What do you want?

Its Traditional ....

This morning I carried out my annual survey of the profit margin on a non-drop Chrstmas Tree.

This seasonal experiment involves visiting the local Garden Centre as late as possible during advent and seeing how much discount I am offered to take the best tree he has. I now have a fantastic 5'6" spruce waiting to be put in to a stand and decorated.....

..... and the discount, well lets say that £20 magically disappeared from the price ticket just before I left a snowy car park totally devoid of other cars.

The tree will be decorated after Dinner this evening as we settle in after the Carol Service on the Village Green. It is a superb event and is very well organised. A local Brass Band will provide the music and song sheets are distributed. There is a PA set up so that the outdoor service can be heard and quite a crowd gather under the Christmas Tree on the Green. I'm no believer but I can vouch for it being a lovely way to celebrate Christmas Eve. I must admit that, at lunch time, I am assuming it will still be held and has not been canceled due to the snow.

To anyone reading this I hope the holiday period goes the way you want it to .......


..... Seasons Greetings - a Bad Man

Potato, at rest

Out of the way of those bloody dogs !

B'Day

No, not a reference to an item of sanitary ware, but the abbreviation I use for birthday.

Today it is mine. Just in case there is a slim chance that someone might actually send best wishes or anniversary greetings I should point out that although today is anniversary of the day of my birth it is not actually the date that I celebrate it.

Why? You may ask and I will tell you. The 23rd of December is probably one of the worst days on the planet to celebrate a birthday and before anyone goes with the obvious " you only get one present, a combined Christmas and Birthday" I'll put that to bed straight away .........

........ I don't mind that at all.

The reason I dislike having my Birthday so close to Christmas is that it is somewhat overshadowed by one of the major Religious Festivals in the Christian Calendar.To be honest everyone is pretty much focussed on the big day as would be expected and there tends to be a bit of "Oh and then there's YOUR birthday as well..... " to it.

I have to be fair here and say that, in previous years, 30% was absolutely brilliant and took great efforts to make the day special but Christmas can be an intense time of year anyway, what with having the finish off ones work tasks, shopping, wrapping, decorating and giving, so to have some spoiled prat that needs a special day too just adds to the potential burden.

I had always thought about moving my birthday to another point in the year, perhaps to when the weather is more clement but how does one decide on which day? Does one simply push it out by six months or perhaps go with something more complicated and have a mobile date that coincides with one of the warmer bank holidays so that you have a warm three day weekend to celebrate your anniversary*.

You see, it is complicated and for a few years I pondered but did nothing. Then back in 2008 I had something that some people regard as a life changing event. I had a totally unexpected, some would say fluke, life threatening medical condition. I was lucky and survived and after a few months was able to return to a normal life. That event happened on 23rd March and it seemed to be an ideal point to shift my Birthday to.

So what will today hold for me? I will get a couple of cards and a few best wishes and greeting but no presents, no outings, no birthday feasts. All of that can wait for 3 months until the days are getting longer and the weather is getting warmer.

I know that there are other crappy days to celebrate ones birthday. One of my best friends has hers on 30th December, a week from now, She and I regularly have the same discussion - try inviting your friends out for a drink and you find a reluctance as they are really preparing for the following evenings to herald in either Christmas or the New Year. I'm guessing that Christmas day, New Years Day, Boxing day and 2nd January can all be a bit rough too.

So, if like me, you have a birthday around this time of year and don't really enjoy it, go on - shift it to a point in the year that suits you - after all It is YOUR BIRTHDAY and you can do with it what you want.

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* and one that absolutely no one else can remember. Can you tell me when Easter is next year? No, neither can I.

Word of the Day ...

Micicle 

(mice - ickle) Noun. A frozen water and rodent based dessert snack. These are usually made by stunning a small rodent and then hanging it by its tail under a dripping faucet on a very cold night. The resulting frozen dessert is eaten using the now solid tail as a handle and is now enjoyed all over the world.

on / off

Having been full on and, on occasions, even more so for the past couple of months it is very strange to have a quiet day.

I still have things to do but my total call duration today was 30 minutes rather than 3 or more hours which has been usual each day in previous weeks. The e-mail arrivals have plummeted and I am able to relax a little. The problem is that I can't just wander away and do something else as I may be needed for a last minute enquiry or  5 minute call to settle some point or other. So having been used to moving at a fair rate of knots for hours on end the need to sit at a laptop sedately for a fairly standard working day is somewhat tedious....

..... Yes, I know, I shouldn't look a gift horse in the proverbials.

I had another lovely walk this afternoon and the quieter working day meant that there was no rush to be back by a specific time. The skies were grey and we are forecast further snow today but there were no flurries and all three of us enjoyed the fresh air and the increased daylight reflected from the snow covered fields and paths.

30% has been working from home these past couple of days and has been far busier than I. She was going stir crazy so this evening, after lighting the log burner and de-icing the Defender, we took a trip in to the supermarket to pick up a few odds and ends including a replacement phone for the one T&M destroyed a couple of weeks back.

Tescos was quite bizarre and had an almost post-apocalyptic feel to it with people trudging in with pained and wearied expressions tinged with a hint of "I've Survived the Arctic Holocaust" in their eyes. Their mode of dress added to the scene and they were filling trollies like crazy, stocking up for Christmas combined with fear of further snow.

30% and I are pretty relaxed about this and take the view that. unlike twenty or thirty years ago, Christmas is only a single day and the stores are open from Boxing Day onwards. Why panic and buy 4 tons of food and drink when, if you run short, your nearest store is open from 10 am on 26th December.

We actually take a different approach and keep plenty of supplies at home. We both work and there are occasions when we just can't be arsed to run in to the supermarket. So we have three freezer rammed to the gills, a very healthy store cupboard and a wine cellar so can avoid a trip to Tescos for a good while  if the need be.

So, that was my day; work, walk and the supermarket and an evening with a glass of Rioja in front of the fire.

An enjoyable lull before the Christmas chaos hits

Monday Review

No, not a gig or stand up session, today was the penultimate review* of my project before it can be released and combined with two others to form the programme in its entirety.

This meant that I as a "New Kid" had to dial in to a call and present to an anonymous executive and my line manager for an hour about a project of a type that I had absolutely zero experience of up until about 8 weeks ago. To say that I was shitting myself this morning was somewhat of an understatement. Fortunately my "Buddy" agreed to join the call in case it got a bit sticky.

I was nervous but I got through it and my work can be released on a conditional basis. My Buddy kept pretty quiet throughout the call only pitching in on a couple of occasions to keep things heading in the right direction. At the end I felt immense relief tinged with trepidation that, all being well, I will have to go through this again but in much greater detail at some point in the Spring.

The past few months have been quite an experience after 4 years in a role where I had become comfortable and very experienced. I am now in new pastures and the challenges are daunting. I have an immense amount to learn and am constantly out of my comfort zone as I dig out my pitons, crampons and ice axe and address the learning curve. Am I enjoying it ? ......

..... Hmmm! Tricky one that. If you ask me during each ascent I will give you a resounding "No" but at the end of each day after I have had time to savour the tiny accomplishments I will give a grudging nod and a quiet thanks to the army of people that support and assist through this climb.

I am hoping that the rest of the week will be calmer and let me have a degree of wind down before the Christmas break.

Outside of work we again experienced an extremely cold night. It dropped to minus 18 celcius down the road in Pershore last night and we had a water pipe freeze cutting off hot water to one of the bathrooms and the downstairs loo for a few hours. After bumping up the heating and adding a little extra from a portable unit we soon got things moving again and decided that perhaps we should leave the central heating on overnight during this cold spell.

I took T&M for a walk this afternoon and took delight in the solitude and quiet of the three miler. The snow means that there was no traffic and I was able to let the dogs off for most of the walk. I walked though a steady fall of snow for  an hour and enjoyed every minute away from a laptop and phone. It is still snowing this evening as I type this entry and we are already wondering whether TP will make it back from his Grandma's before Christmas.

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* The final one is not one I have to host. I just have to turn up,listen and hopefully not say much :-)

Stocking Up ...

No its not a reference to the practice of hanging lingerie from the mantel in the hope of Christmas gifts.

30% and I took advantage of a Sunday without Rugby and spent a good few hours in the Kitchen doing some bulk cooking. Nothing out of the ordinary, just a few staples that freeze well and provide a home cooked meal at the end of a busy working day.

We started off with a couple of gammon hocks and a kilo of split peas that had been soaked overnight and after a mammoth veg prep session and a three hour simmer we have about 7 litres of Pea & Ham Soup that makes a great lunch with some crusty bread. In case you are wondering what cooking vessel I use for a gallon and a half of soup ....

..... its not only Jam that you can make in a Jam kettle.

Once that was simmering we knocked up some home made faggots with a shoulder of pork and some liver that had been sat in one of the freezers. We had about 3 kilos of meat and liver and ended up with somewhere in the region of 50 faggots that have been pre-cooked and frozen in their own gravy. They are a lovely blast from the past with mash and peas for supper on a cold winter evening. All of the roasting tins were put to use and both ovens were running for a couple of hours to get that lot cooked.

By the time we had finished that it was lunch time and soon after we saw TP off to his Grandma's as his Mum had decided to drive down South today*

30% and I then took T&M out for a walk. It was beautiful out, very cold, but lovely. Earlier today I had caught the overnight forecast and we were one of the coldest places in the Country as the Pershore Weather Station recorded an overnight low of - 19 celcius.

T&M go crazy in the snow and ended up coming home absolutely covered with icy lumps where it has accumulated on their coats. We had to dip their legs in warm water to remove the ice and then let them dry in the hall before they were allowed further in to the house. Fortunately the hall has stone flags and the resulting water was soon mopped up.

Cold Feet!

Just below St Peter's

T&M at play

 Once they were damp rather than sopping and settled with a bone each from the gammon hocks, I put the final dish of the day on. We were going to need some freezer space and the pigs head and trotters just had to go so another batch of brawn was kicked off.

Somewhere amongst all this I got the Log Burner fired up and I will be collapsing on front of it alongside Eddy just as soon as I can.

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* He eventually arrived about 5 hours later having had to have a tow at one point when she skidded on a roundabout. The normal journey time from here would be 2.5 - 3 hours in normal conditions.

A bit of an adventure

The general advice to day for motorists was to only travel if absolutely necessary.

What the fuck does that mean?

For some people that is "I must get down to A&E as I seem to have taken off my hand at the wrist with a chainsaw". For others it is "I absolutely must get my sister those fluffy pink ear muffs to go with the array of presents I have already been accumulating since the end of September".

Do you see what I mean? Some peoples definition of absolutely necessary is well off the mark. For example my ex-wife decided that a 140 mile journey in a rear wheel drive BMW was absolutely necessary. Actually that is not true - I don't think she actually considered the weather forecast at all. In fact if she actually engaged her brain this morning before piling her two kids in to a BMW and heading towards heavy snow for at least 50% of her journey I'd be amazed. The plan was that she would pick up TP in Stratford and head down to her mother's in SW London. I called her "en route" and from the conversation it was apparent that she had used none of the information sources available to her to determine what the weather was likely to be on the way down and was travelling with two young children on the basis of a discussion with her aged mother and alcoholic brother the previous evening.

My "on the ground" advice that the snow was falling fast and settling on the roads did not seem to persuade her that she ought to reconsider and the suggestion that she might want to check the BBC and Highways Agency websites fell on deaf ears. It was only when I point blank refused to deliver TP to her that she decided to abandon her trip and return to her home. We have had the best part of 8" of snow today and driving is treacherous. I checked the route that TP's mum proposed to drive with TP and her 5 and 7 year old and noted that at least one section had reported 4 to 5 hours delays and described the M40 as a car park.

Would you want to do that if you didn't have to? I certainly wouldn't.

The net result is that TP's mum is safe at home with her two kids and husband and is considering travelling tomorrow after checking the travel conditions. She could have spent a fascinating time with them stuck in a car on a snowy motorway because she decided that disappointing the kids and her mum meant that travel was absolutely necessary.

Now I'm just as bad in my own way as I decided that I needed to travel 12 miles to do a bit of Christmas shopping but I did take precautions. I did chuck a spade in the back of the car and the car of choice was the Defender. She is designed to go up a mountain via the shorter bumpier routes so 12 miles of snowy A roads weren't really going to be a problem and they weren't.

What were the problems were the idiots in 2 wheel drive cars that decided that they needed to go shopping too. There are a few steep hills between home and Stratford on Avon and on the way home every single one of them was blocked by someone in a 2 wheel drive car sat skewed across the middle of the road half way up.

I took several detours on the way home and in the end my tactic was to use the most snowy B roads as they were least used, most snow covered and least likely to be blocked by abandoned cars. We got home without incident but it took the best part of an hour rather that the normal 20 to 30 minutes.

The point I am trying to make here is that there is no definition of "absolutely necessary" and that will never dissuade an idiot from driving in deep snow. However, here's a thought, it might be possible to prohibit two wheel drive or rear wheel drive cars from blocking up roads if they are snow covered and only permitting 4 wheel drives and essential vehicles when the roads are deep and crisp and even.

It is treacherous out here at the moment and I am not kidding when I say that I saw an ambulance out with its flashing blues on and it was being towed by a tractor. We passed it and saw that it had just been pulled up a hill that had a fuck wit sat half way up in a two wheel drive car. I hope it made it to wherever it was going and that it's unfortunate passenger was OK.

If you are going out at the moment drive an appropriate vehicle or stay at home. It's no fun sleeping in a snow bound car - they aren't well insulated. Stay at home or get a vehicle you know has the capability of getting you to your destination.

It's Panto Time .....

Oh no it isn't

Oh yes it is ......

This is now getting ridiculous. The long awaited approval came though this morning from one of the Execs. The problem child was carbon copied on the communication. I have now been told that I still need the problem child's tick in the box. It should be noted that the two of them work as a partnership so are we going to see a good versus evil battle on stage?

To be honest I'd prefer Jack & The Beanstalk

A watched pot ..

Today has been a hiatus as I waited for the approval that was implied on yesterday's call.

It hasn't arrived and so, tomorrow, we have another potential train wreck of a call with the Problem Child.

I have used the time to clear the decks and take the dogs for a decent walk.

My Dad turned up for a coffee and for the first time in a few weeks we had the chance to chat and laugh. His hot topics were that Tilly had been clipped a couple of weeks back and had been spayed at the beginning of the week. He absolutely adores her and it is a delight to see a really soft side of him come out when he talks about her. She has had the same effect on Step-mum Sue too.

Other news included a visit to elder sister's to pick up a lamb carcass and to meet younger sister's new man. He shares the same name as a cat we had when younger sister was a child and in true Bad Man Senior form his opening line was "You look nothing like Colin the old cat". In fact he would have probably pronounced it cyat (keeyat) if he delivered it in the local dialect.

He was happy with the lamb but not impressed that the dog was admonished for jumping on to the Sofa to reach his lap.

It is elder sister's 50th Birthday early in the New Year and she is having a Grand Do at a local Stately Home. It is Evening Dress and Pater is already muttering that he is too old for this lark.

Not a lot else to say really. It has started to turn cold and after the rain this afternoon we have had a few flakes of snow this evening. I have lit the fire and Potato and Eddy are already installed in front of it. I plan to do the same quite shortly.

Phew!

11 hours stuck in front of a laptop, with a phone glued to my ear, typing one handed in to an instant messaging application.

At least this time we moved forward. We have had a reasonably successful review call and hopefully we can move forward to the next "gate". The main issue has been related to a Reviewer that wants to address points that are outside their remit and are outside the scope of what we are trying to achieve.

Fortunately we had another Exec on the call today and due to an over run the Problem Exec had to leave before the end. The net result is the view that we have included what would be expected for the scope of our project - A tentative thumbs up.

I'm not being Bitchy - actually I am - but I got a bit concerned when the Problem Child stated that they thought CH* was an abbreviation for the Channel Islands rather than Switzerland. For God's Sake! They work for an International Company but don't know the standard abbreviation for Switzerland. Is it me?

After three tiresome and expensive meetings, where the Reviewer threw the proverbial toys each time, I got the feeling that they might be either very busy or a bit thick and were using aggression instead of trying to actually understand the answers we were providing.

Anyway, we now hopefully have progressed and all is well.

I therefore managed to step outside the house for a walk with 30% and T&M albeit after dark. 30% had purchased reflective coats for T&M so they looked like a road repair crew on acid as the cavorted across the fields in the dark for the first time in 48 hours - I actually knew how they felt and reveled in being outside and away from work.

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* For anyone interested it is an acronym of Canton Helvetica.

Arghh!

14 hours sat in front of a laptop with a phone glued to my ear whilst typing one handed on Instant Messaging software as I experienced the changing of goal posts.........

........ Unfortunately I wasn't watching Groundsmen Live on the BBC iPlayer and excitedly telling all of my mates about it.

The only similarity to Groundsmen Live was the lack of Supporters

Christmas Party

After a day of chasing around for numbers that didn't exist and getting absolutely nowhere the last thing I needed was the dog training Christmas Party with games and prizes galore .........

....... That just goes to show how much I know.

It was exactly what I needed, something completely different with people who don't know or care what I do. It was exactly the "corridor" to take me from my working day to my evening. TP and Tyson won the egg and spoon race and I managed to forget about crap for a while - RESULT.

The Big Match

TP's Rugby team were playing against TP's old club today.

We had moved to TP's current club after 5 seasons. The reason for the move, one of the Coaches behaviour was, shall we say "erratic" and after a few ranting sessions and some bizarre decisions I decided to approach him. His response was that if I had a problem I should put it writing*. I did. I also kept reminding the club when they seemed a little slow in progressing my complaint. A long 5 months later it appears that my complaint was upheld as I was advised that the Coach would no longer be Coaching and is now just a Dad.

After that it was never really the same and the fact that they didn't appear to have a full squad  was the final straw so we moved to TP's new club. They are not the strongest team but they have a great ethos and a committed squad. If they can find a bit more aggression they will become a great team.

So, the match. It was a cold and foggy day down by the river - it was an away match - and the home side had managed to pull together a team - JUST - 15 plus a single sub. It was a bit of a grudge match and, from what I saw through the murk, it was pretty evenly matched except for the fact that TP's team seemed unwilling to pick the damned ball up and run with it. Their defense was great but they simply seemed to lack the aggression to get hold of the ball and keep it.

Final Result 25:7. At least they scored!

Am I sorry TP swapped clubs? The answer is a definite no, even in defeat still no. Furthermore it was TPs decision where he played. We asked him how he felt after today's game and whether he regretted moving on.Again, a definite no. He enjoys the structure and discipline at the new club and hopefully they will gel and get the win they really deserve.

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* Much of my "day job" is writing forceful arguments and justifications so if he thought that was going to put me off he was sadly mistaken.

Shopping

High Spot for 30% - I didn't moan and did actually find something I wanted that could be classed as a potential gift

High Spot for me - I found a Gruffalo Glove Puppet* which kept me entertained for 10 minutes

* This wasn't the "suitable gift"

I'm gonna blog.....

... while you two watch Eastenders. I don't know what I'm going to blog but I'm going to blog.

That pretty much sums up my mental state. I have finished work for the day - note day, not week, - and am now on the outside of a Chinese Takeaway and a large Gin and Tonic.

Today has had highs and lows. I suppose I really need to describe what I am up to for any of this to make any sense. My project needs to go through a series of reviews or gates before I can complete it and pass it on to the next team. Each individual component needs to be reviewed by experts and then the whole project needs to be reviewed from a design and quality perspective and then there are the financials ..............

........... by now anyone reading this will have hit the "back" button or chewed off their own arm for light relief. Basically I have a load of ball-breaking reviews to get through. Some have gone really well but the last one was a bit of a traffic accident! To be fair the reviewer had a valid point and it needs to be addressed but her approach killed the review in its tracks and we lost the opportunity to cover the rest of her material due to her "I'm not going any further" approach. It was a little rich as she then acknowledged that she hadn't given the project the support it needed and commented on the unfairness of introducing a new approach a couple of days before the call.

Fuck it - its Friday - I've done what I can so can hit the weekend with a clear conscience. I've fired off a couple of mails, set up a call for Monday, spoken to my Exec and 2nd Line Manger and am forgetting about this nonsense for 24 hours at least.

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Today the weather has warmed slightly and the haw frost has disappeared. The ground is still hard but there has been a slight thaw. Its a shame. I love the cold frosty weather, the high pressure that gives beautiful clear, blue winter skies and the frost transforms the world from Autumnal drab to Winter sparkle. The forecast suggest that it will be back by the beginning of next week, so fingers crossed.

Plans for the weekend; Shopping tomorrow and if the ground is soft enough TP will play against his old club at Rugby on Sunday. I have, of course, Parented in the appropriate fashion and told him to show no mercy against his old team mates. 

Playing Dirty

This morning I was somewhat jaded after the review yesterday but my spirits were lifted after a discussion with my Buddy.

As I am the "new guy"* on the team, he is there to mentor me and make sure that I am not too far behind the curve on this current project. He had a look at the outputs from yesterdays review and decided that things were in good shape.

He also confirmed my suspicions about a couple of reviewers that were taking a rather limited view of their scope and Geographic responsibilities. Being a straightforward sort of chap I took a head on approach and got a definite "No" when I asked them if they were going to coordinate the inputs from other reviewers in their area of responsibility.

This was not a good situation meaning that I needed to do my day job and have 3 or more reviews** instead of one. I therefore decided that we should all discuss this with my Exec and find a "way forward" - RESULT ! - suddenly everyone is a lot more compliant and has far more encompassing view of what they need to do.

I don't like being given the run around by Teflon shouldered Old Lags because I am new to the job. I have been around the block and have a few tricks up my sleeve too. I used one of them today. As a Learner I don't have the time to put up with Posturing and Bluster. If my Reviewers are adding value I'm more than willing to take it on board. If they are just in the game to justify their existence or have an easy time on the run up to Christmas .... well that is a different matter.

Today's high point was on a call with a few Lawyers where my project and my understanding of the law stood up to their scrutiny - Bloody Hell - I might actually survive this :-)

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* more accurately "old, new guy" as in plenty of years on the planet, only a few weeks in the job
** and the huge amount of crap each one would generate

Wednesday Review

I spent all day in a review of my project and it went as well as I expected. It got a thorough going over and got plenty of constructive comments. It is unfortunate that, at times, the Reviewers thought I had to deliver a final product when in fact my output is most definitely a draft. I have therefore taken the previous draft, improved it, and received acknowledgment that it has been refined but still feel that I am likely to get a worse assessment that the previous round - puzzled!

This didn't put me in the best frame of mind for the evening when we went to see Tim Minchin in Birmingham where he was backed by a full orchestra. I first came across this Australian .....

..... I was going to type comedian but that hardly does him justice. Performance Artist is probably better in view of his undoubted musical talent.....

I first came across him about 18 months ago via a You Tube clip and we went to see him, at that time, in Warwick to see what he was like. He is an amazing talent and his songs are delivered beautifully but have  the most peculiar and funny lyrics.

Last nigh his repertoire included the love song for his wife; " If I hadn't found you it would have been somebody else" where he covers the statistical probability of finding another soul mate and the classic ode to racism Only a Ginger can call another Ginger "Ginger". I must admit that one of my favourites last night was his tirade at the Pope about the Catholic Church's covering up of child abuse entitled "Fuck You Motherfucker"

 Go see him - he's Brilliant - unless you are a staunch Catholic who doesn't like to see the Holy See given a thorough drubbing - in which case stay in.

Impending Doom?

Tomorrow is a big day for the Project I am currently working on. An all day review will consider the design and the quality of my team's work and will ensure that the numbers are the right order of magnitude to take it on and run with it.

As a consequence I have been pulling materials together, organising rooms and equipment whilst still trying to assemble my deliverable. It is very much like struggling in to one's Dinner Suit whilst travelling to the Venue and having the Tailor along to make some last minute alterations to the cut and leg length.

I'm expecting a mauling tomorrow - if I look at things like that; glass half empty, with a drowned fly floating in it, then anything less than crucifixion will seem like a blessing.

Whilst this is the main focus of the week I still have many other threads to pick up and progress so my day was a procession of calls, meetings and it was a struggle to find an hour to get lunch and travel in to the nearest circle of Hell for this afternoon's calls and face to face meetings.

As a result today's walk was very early in the day and the weather was amazing. It was absolutely freezing but the sky was clear and blue and like yesterday everything was covered with a blanket of ice crystals. At one point I brushed against a tree and for a full half minute a shower of icy dust fell to the ground. The noise was amazing, a hushed whispering as the crystals fell amongst the undergrowth.