... bring me their fucking heads on a plate day!
It is not going well. One of Judge Dread's European colleagues is saying "no go" which is putting the whole deal at risk. I have spent a huge chunk of the day attempting to get Executive Guidance and, for some worrying reason, no-one wants to talk to me. The best I got was agreement from my Idiot Manager to attend a briefing call tomorrow morning. Does no-one seem to understand that this needs to be resolved now and Executive attention is exactly what is needed. This is way above my lowly level.
In addition to that the Subject Matter Idiots are performing in their normal lacklustre fashion and despite being asked to provide me with their approval e-mails on Monday it is now Wednesday and a significant number of them have yet to deliver the goods. I wish that my sense of urgency was a little more infectious. I know that a lot of these people are over worked and have too much to do but I have to focus on my project and chase and harry the team for their long overdue deliverables.
At the same time I am making tentative approaches up the management food chain as I need a senior Executive to give the Europeans a "JFDI" instruction. These Execs are strange beasts and you never know whether they will give you their support or bite your head off.
I think it is fair to say that it is one of those days when stacking shelves at the local supermarket looks like a great new career opportunity.
Wednesday, 18 April 2012
A Blast from the Past
On Wednesday I was summoned to attend a conference all on the Project we successfully completed last year.
The call was to review and approve a complicated and, in my opinion, valueless spreadsheet that I had been forced in to completing over several days in December and January. I think it fair to say that I didn't consider the job worthwhile but I thought it had more value than the name dropping, slopey shouldered, process obsessed cow that was driving this activity.
She was true to form, when she opened the call and then attempted to hand it over to myself and a colleague to present. Needless to say neither of us had been asked to present and were not prepared. As can be seen from the Journal it is more than 3 months since I had any involvement in this at all.
We made a start and then the sun peeped through the black clouds when one of the Executive Approvers piped up. This particular approver is quite a character and is known for going from calm to unprofessional ranting in under six seconds. She was true to form and within a few minutes phrases along the lines of "I don't see the point of this" and "You are only doing this because you can't use the cost modelling tool" were coming out left right and centre. She peaked with "I'm not approving this because I don't think it serves any purpose" and from that point forward I relaxed and enjoyed the carnage.
None of the grievances were directed towards me or my colleague and I have to admit that I took great pleasure sitting silently in the background listening to The Cow attempting to defend her monstrosity.
Sometime even the shittiest days have something beautiful happen.
The call was to review and approve a complicated and, in my opinion, valueless spreadsheet that I had been forced in to completing over several days in December and January. I think it fair to say that I didn't consider the job worthwhile but I thought it had more value than the name dropping, slopey shouldered, process obsessed cow that was driving this activity.
She was true to form, when she opened the call and then attempted to hand it over to myself and a colleague to present. Needless to say neither of us had been asked to present and were not prepared. As can be seen from the Journal it is more than 3 months since I had any involvement in this at all.
We made a start and then the sun peeped through the black clouds when one of the Executive Approvers piped up. This particular approver is quite a character and is known for going from calm to unprofessional ranting in under six seconds. She was true to form and within a few minutes phrases along the lines of "I don't see the point of this" and "You are only doing this because you can't use the cost modelling tool" were coming out left right and centre. She peaked with "I'm not approving this because I don't think it serves any purpose" and from that point forward I relaxed and enjoyed the carnage.
None of the grievances were directed towards me or my colleague and I have to admit that I took great pleasure sitting silently in the background listening to The Cow attempting to defend her monstrosity.
Sometime even the shittiest days have something beautiful happen.
Tuesday, 17 April 2012
Tuesday Schmoozeday *
Tuesday was very much like Monday but without the tea making and Decorators.
Instead Tigger and I found ourselves at The Nearest Circle of Hell following aninvite summons from Judge Dread. We spent the day experiencing the same frustrations interspersed with expensive and mediocre coffee. The only difference was that we could actually see the Subject Matter Idiots in glorious Technicolour. Unfortunately we had to listen to them too.
I think I can summarise by saying there was a huge amount of effort for very little actual progress.
Instead Tigger and I found ourselves at The Nearest Circle of Hell following an
I think I can summarise by saying there was a huge amount of effort for very little actual progress.
---
Schmooze: Making ingratiating small talk – talk that is business oriented, Did you see what I did there?
Monday, 16 April 2012
Monday Schmunday
Sad Face – it's Monday and I am back at work. Tigger and I have a looooong five days ahead of us as we pull together all the strands of our project and weave them in to a single piece. It is not fun. We really need twice or thrice the time we actually have and are working with over stretched colleagues and equipment that simply is not really capable of running the tooling we are mandated to use...
… as I said, it is not fun. We do our best to see the lighter side of things and there are jokes and laughter but beneath it all there is a vein of frustration directed at the tooling, team member availability and performance and the lack of accurate information from out client. At present all I can hope to present is a “sow ear”* at the final review on Friday.
Away from work I seem to be making an inordinate number of cups of tea as Andy & Steve are back to finish the painting of the Landing and Stairs. They have done a fabulous job and as soon as I can get the current phase of the project completed I am really looking forward to completing the finishing touches to the freshly decorated space.
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* We will have to wait until the next iteration of the project to see if we can knock up a silk purse.
Sunday, 15 April 2012
Day of Rest?
Sunday started with an early walk with T&M whilst 30% dropped TP over at the Rugby Club for a practice session. I then made a start on cutting the final piece of elm needed to repair the trim on the stairs. This was not a five minute job as the task involved the creation of a template and numerous trial fits before the piece of timber could be reduced to the appropriate thickness, sanded smooth and held in place with a monumental amount of Pink Grip!
It was then time for a trip out to pick up TP, and get a few necessities from Redditch. The afternoon was filled with phase one of the huge tidy up of the house and garage as both have become dumping grounds during the recent decorating activities...
... I thought I was on for a quiet weekend!
It was then time for a trip out to pick up TP, and get a few necessities from Redditch. The afternoon was filled with phase one of the huge tidy up of the house and garage as both have become dumping grounds during the recent decorating activities...
... I thought I was on for a quiet weekend!
Saturday, 14 April 2012
Home at last
The weekend has finally arrived and after the decorating at home and the past four days at work it is a most welcome break. 30% and I are both pretty tired and, as a consequence, we have pared our itinerary down to the bare minimum.
That meant that we had two tasks to achieve today; the first was to pick up the Defender as the refurbishment has now been completed and the second was to take the door from the bottom of the stairs in to a Paint Stripper in Worcester.
30% ran me over to Belbroughton to pick up my Land Rover around lunchtime and it is fair to say that she looks fantastic both inside and out. There are still a couple of minor jobs that need to be performed but the transformation is well on the way to completion. This wasn't just a cosmetic makeover as she has had the flywheel and clutch replaced and new front shocks too which means that the driving experience has been improved too.
Back at home I set to removing the aforementioned door and putting up a stair gate as a temporary barricade*. 30% and I then hitched the trailer to the Defender and took the door over to the Strippers. At this point you would think that the story would go along the lines of we pass the time of day with Stripper, hand over door, agree price and determine a collection date. And that was the original plan but then we started to look around his workshop/sale room and started to find some amazing items at very good prices. To cut a long story short 30% saw and fell in love with a Georgian Long Case Clock and a Victorian Cylinder Desk and these will be delivered the week after next.
By the time we finally got home it was early evening which gave us enough time for a walk around the Three Miler with T&M before a call was made to the local Chinese Takeaway.
That meant that we had two tasks to achieve today; the first was to pick up the Defender as the refurbishment has now been completed and the second was to take the door from the bottom of the stairs in to a Paint Stripper in Worcester.
30% ran me over to Belbroughton to pick up my Land Rover around lunchtime and it is fair to say that she looks fantastic both inside and out. There are still a couple of minor jobs that need to be performed but the transformation is well on the way to completion. This wasn't just a cosmetic makeover as she has had the flywheel and clutch replaced and new front shocks too which means that the driving experience has been improved too.
Back at home I set to removing the aforementioned door and putting up a stair gate as a temporary barricade*. 30% and I then hitched the trailer to the Defender and took the door over to the Strippers. At this point you would think that the story would go along the lines of we pass the time of day with Stripper, hand over door, agree price and determine a collection date. And that was the original plan but then we started to look around his workshop/sale room and started to find some amazing items at very good prices. To cut a long story short 30% saw and fell in love with a Georgian Long Case Clock and a Victorian Cylinder Desk and these will be delivered the week after next.
By the time we finally got home it was early evening which gave us enough time for a walk around the Three Miler with T&M before a call was made to the local Chinese Takeaway.
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* T&M and Andy & Steve is not a great combination unless you want emulsioned dogs or paw prints as part of your interior decor.
Lean Times ...
... from a Journal keeping perspective. This entry could just have well been entitled "Where the Fuck have I been".
My last post was made on the 4th April and it is now the 14th. I suppose I had better pull together a précis of the past nine or ten days. Don't worry; I'll leave out the interesting bits.
As previously mentioned, much of the week leading up to the Easter weekend was spent carrying out the preparation work on the stairs and landing. I think it fair to say that this was a soul destroying task. At the end of each day we were filthy and tired and the room looked just the same apart from a liberal quantity of dust on every surface. We turned a metaphorical corner on Easter Monday when we decided that enough had been done and a huge clean up took place. 30% even managed to find time to put a coat of liquid wax on the Landing floor whilst I spent an inordinate amount of time on the refurbishment of the elm trim panels on the staircase.
During the past week Andy & Steve have spent a couple of days on site and the walls and woodwork are now all bearing the correct colours. They will be back on Monday to apply the final coats of emulsion and satinwood.
We did manage a modicum of leisure time whilst we were off work but not a huge amount. 30%'s birthday was on 5th April and we lunched at The Brook on the outskirts of Redditch and took a wander around some local antique establishments. There was no surprise present as we had both decided that we should treat ourselves to a new iPad3 as a joint gift. TP already has an iPad. It is a fabulous little tablet but it seems to be permanently held in his grimy hands and he can rarely be persuaded to offer it up for use by another member of the family. After much faffing around to see whether we could get any discount anywhere we finally just went and bought the damned thing from Tesco on Easter Monday. It is a lovely piece of equipment and I am hoping that it will become 30%'s browsing tool of choice meaning that she will leave her work laptop in it's bag and not spend her leisure time "just looking at a couple of e-mails"*.
Badman Senior, Step Mum Sue and Tilly joined us for dinner on Easter Sunday and we had a lovely rib of beef. BMS was on good form and infuriated us all by feeding T&M from the table. He adores the dogs and just cannot resist giving them treats. If you look at the girth of Tilly you will see how weak his will power is. Fortunately we are made of sterner stuff here at The Pile and T&M have managed to retain their lithe conformation...
... it was a tale told by BMS that gave me the title for this Journal entry. It is nothing apocryphal or funny. It was just a recollection from his past and for some reason I thought I should jot it down so that it doesn't become forgotten...
Back in the 1930's my Grandfather was a Market Gardener in the Vale of Evesham. At this time of year the sprout harvest was finished and the Asparagus harvest was yet to come in so this was seen as a very lean time. To make ends meet my Grandfather used to work as a stage hand at the Scala Theatre on the High Street during this lull in veg production. The Scala is long gone and became the Clifton Cinema many years before I was born. That too has long since closed and subsequent reincarnations as Bingo and Night Clubs don't seem to have been particularly successful either. BMS also remembers his father delivering the Evesham Journal to outlying villages as a way of bringing in a few shillings until the 'gras was ready to cut.
The Easter break is now over and I am back at work. Tigger has returned from New York and we have spent this 4 day working week trying to get things in to shape for next week's review cycle and release of costs to our American colleagues. It has been quite an ordeal. We are making head way but it is like wading though treacle and if a thing can go wrong it certainly will. So far we have had to struggle with both personnel and tooling. Many of the people we need are on holiday and the work products they have delivered have either been wrong or right but in the wrong format. The result of this is that everything needs to be checked and tweaked or in some case duplicated so that we can pull everything together in to a single entity. Approvers are now starting to get nervous and I am frequently having to step in to persuade, cajole and name drop to ensure that ticks get put in the right boxes.
After a long day with a Power Sander or a long day in front of a laptop I have been reluctant to do anything more than vegetate with a glass of wine in front of the TV and I offer this up as my excuse for not blogging for the best part of ten days.
Before I finish I will just mention that one of the hens has gone broody this week and 30% managed to source a dozen or so fertile eggs. If all goes well we may have chicks around the second of May.
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* She is not a person to whom relaxation comes easily and consequently using a work laptop for web surfing makes taking a peek at the in-box all too easy. I. on the other hand, tend to go with "Fuck them, I've finished work for the day"
Wednesday, 4 April 2012
A change in the weather
After the mild and sunny weather last week, today's sleet and wind came as a bit of a shock. It was most unpleasant and outside was definitely not where I wanted to be.
This morning 30% needed to be at work to meet up with a colleague from the US. TP and I dropped her at the Office and then took the car to carry out a few pre-birthday essentials such as cards, flowers and more abrasives from Screwfix...
... and people say there is no romance in my soul?
The journey home included extensive detours to 30%'s parents and a couple of shops and, as a result; lunch was a late one.
My afternoon was spent sanding the elm door frame at the foot of the stairs and applying a coat of Danish Oil to that, the hand rail and the exposed beams on the Landing. 30% busied herself with various culinary and domestic chores as her brother and his girlfriend were joining us for dinner.
This morning 30% needed to be at work to meet up with a colleague from the US. TP and I dropped her at the Office and then took the car to carry out a few pre-birthday essentials such as cards, flowers and more abrasives from Screwfix...
... and people say there is no romance in my soul?
The journey home included extensive detours to 30%'s parents and a couple of shops and, as a result; lunch was a late one.
My afternoon was spent sanding the elm door frame at the foot of the stairs and applying a coat of Danish Oil to that, the hand rail and the exposed beams on the Landing. 30% busied herself with various culinary and domestic chores as her brother and his girlfriend were joining us for dinner.
Tuesday, 3 April 2012
For those that may be interested
I tend to write my Journal entries first thing in the morning before I start work. This is one of the reasons why I generally produce a "weekend roundup" rather than individual entries for Saturdays and Sundays. As I am not at work this week I have managed to make it to Tuesday without having put pen to paper. So here, is a round up of recent events ...
Sunday: The Mission Continues
To be fair, Sunday was nowhere near as hard work as Saturday. 30% and I had completed our sanding activities with less than an hour's effort and then spent a further hour vacuuming up the dust. We then got a coat of Danish Oil on the bannisters and newels and a coat of wax on the cupboards. The rest of the day was spent pottering on general domestic activities.
Monday: A Visit
Today Mrs Oranges & Lemons paid us a visit with her air dried ham. She had had this beast hanging for the best part of 12 months and now it was time for the unwrapping and, hopefully, slicing. I think Mrs O&L was a little apprehensive and that is certainly something I can understand. I have only air dried one ham and I was very nervous about eating a piece of meat that had not been cooked in the conventional sense. We unwrapped it and it looked fine. There were a few patches of green mould and there were also a couple of maggots but there was nothing that indicated that the cure had failed and after a good scrub with white wine vinegar it looked fine.
We pared away the outer skin and then set to with the bacon slicer to convert her air dried ham in to a couple of kilos of prosciutto. It was a successful first cure and the ham has an interesting almost cheesy tang to it.
I am quite comfortable declaring it a success as I am writing this 24 hours after sampling the ham and can report no adverse affects.
Monday was also the day that TP returned from his tour of Iceland and he appears to have had a fabulous time. He was very keen to get his photos downloaded to the computer and show us his souvenirs which included a pair of knitted mittens and a cured red fox tail.
Andy & Steve were also back on site today to put a skim of plaster over the stair case and landing. They have done a fantastic job and will be back in a couple of weeks to apply paint to their pristine. smooth walls.
Tuesday: Back on Yer Heads Lads*
After an early walk around the Three Miler with T&M I was back on sanding duties.
30% had "conveniently" arranged a hair dressing appointment which left me on a solo mission on the stairs and landing. Today I completed the hand rail on the stairs, the window sill and I also managed to wire brush 250 years of debris from the exposed beams on the landing. Most of the debris seems to have accumulated on me so it is a case of a quick shower and then a period of extended vegetation in front of the televisions.
Where is my G&T?
A Chap dies and finds himself being escorted to Hell rather than his preferred eternity in heaven.
He wanders past pools of bubbling brimstone and flaming pits with the moans and screams of eternal damnation in his ears.
As he pauses by a pool of foetid semi liquid he watches a hideous daemon sat staring at a group of people up to their chins in this ichor drinking from bone china cups.
He is taken aback by this and, as he wanders on, he comments to his escort that Hell is nowhere near as bad as he thought...
.. He then hears the Daemon say "Back on yer 'eads Lads, Tea Break's over."
Sunday: The Mission Continues
To be fair, Sunday was nowhere near as hard work as Saturday. 30% and I had completed our sanding activities with less than an hour's effort and then spent a further hour vacuuming up the dust. We then got a coat of Danish Oil on the bannisters and newels and a coat of wax on the cupboards. The rest of the day was spent pottering on general domestic activities.
Monday: A Visit
Today Mrs Oranges & Lemons paid us a visit with her air dried ham. She had had this beast hanging for the best part of 12 months and now it was time for the unwrapping and, hopefully, slicing. I think Mrs O&L was a little apprehensive and that is certainly something I can understand. I have only air dried one ham and I was very nervous about eating a piece of meat that had not been cooked in the conventional sense. We unwrapped it and it looked fine. There were a few patches of green mould and there were also a couple of maggots but there was nothing that indicated that the cure had failed and after a good scrub with white wine vinegar it looked fine.
We pared away the outer skin and then set to with the bacon slicer to convert her air dried ham in to a couple of kilos of prosciutto. It was a successful first cure and the ham has an interesting almost cheesy tang to it.
I am quite comfortable declaring it a success as I am writing this 24 hours after sampling the ham and can report no adverse affects.
Monday was also the day that TP returned from his tour of Iceland and he appears to have had a fabulous time. He was very keen to get his photos downloaded to the computer and show us his souvenirs which included a pair of knitted mittens and a cured red fox tail.
Andy & Steve were also back on site today to put a skim of plaster over the stair case and landing. They have done a fantastic job and will be back in a couple of weeks to apply paint to their pristine. smooth walls.
Tuesday: Back on Yer Heads Lads*
After an early walk around the Three Miler with T&M I was back on sanding duties.
30% had "conveniently" arranged a hair dressing appointment which left me on a solo mission on the stairs and landing. Today I completed the hand rail on the stairs, the window sill and I also managed to wire brush 250 years of debris from the exposed beams on the landing. Most of the debris seems to have accumulated on me so it is a case of a quick shower and then a period of extended vegetation in front of the televisions.
Where is my G&T?
---
* You must know this joke. It is as old as the hills.A Chap dies and finds himself being escorted to Hell rather than his preferred eternity in heaven.
He wanders past pools of bubbling brimstone and flaming pits with the moans and screams of eternal damnation in his ears.
As he pauses by a pool of foetid semi liquid he watches a hideous daemon sat staring at a group of people up to their chins in this ichor drinking from bone china cups.
He is taken aback by this and, as he wanders on, he comments to his escort that Hell is nowhere near as bad as he thought...
.. He then hears the Daemon say "Back on yer 'eads Lads, Tea Break's over."
Saturday, 31 March 2012
Productive but not exciting
If sanding the stripped bannisters and newel posts of a pine stair case to a satin smooth finish is your thing read on, otherwise I respectfully suggest that you find something else to fill your time.
Today 30% and I have spent a long and dusty day preparing the wood work on the Landing & Stairs. After clearing the floor and sealing the Bedroom doors to prevent dust ingress, 30% took on the oak cupboard that Chippy Ian built for us and I took on the stairs.
There isn't much more I can say. The wood is now a lot smoother and we were both covered in a very fine dust. We cleaned ourselves and the room up, took the dogs for a quick walk and then collapsed on the sofa with a drink and dinner.
The only problem is that we still have four door frames, the skirting boards, the window sill and exposed beams to sand plus the repairs to the trim panels on the stairs and the bleaching of a couple of stains on the soak flooring to complete before the end of the week.
Today 30% and I have spent a long and dusty day preparing the wood work on the Landing & Stairs. After clearing the floor and sealing the Bedroom doors to prevent dust ingress, 30% took on the oak cupboard that Chippy Ian built for us and I took on the stairs.
There isn't much more I can say. The wood is now a lot smoother and we were both covered in a very fine dust. We cleaned ourselves and the room up, took the dogs for a quick walk and then collapsed on the sofa with a drink and dinner.
The only problem is that we still have four door frames, the skirting boards, the window sill and exposed beams to sand plus the repairs to the trim panels on the stairs and the bleaching of a couple of stains on the soak flooring to complete before the end of the week.
Friday, 30 March 2012
Breaking Up
Today was my final day of work before a ten day Easter break. Yes, I have ten days away from work and will be spending them at home, probably with a power sander in my hand.
As was to be expected most of today was spent in hand-over activities and completing as much as possible "up front" as I know I am going to be very busy when I get back. My out of Office is now set and Tigger is clearly identified as the stuffed furry animal to be contacted if anyone needs anything.
I have had company here at home today as Andy & Steve are here to carry out the preparation for skimming of the Landing and Stairs. The original lime and horsehair plaster has stood up pretty well to the past two and a half centuries but there are a few areas where it is no longer bonded to the walls and the patching associated with building works and re-modelling mean that a skim is needed to pull it all together. Whilst removing the loose plaster S&A exposed one end of the oak lintel over the window. I made a quick styling decision and the entire beam was exposed. It will need a little attention with a wire brush but will look fantastic when surrounded by fresh smooth plaster.
S&A completed all the prep work and left having applied a bonding coat to the bare areas and a coat of PVA to all of the other walls. They will be back on Monday to apply the finish coat. After S&A had finished I switched off my Instant Messenger and took T&M for a walk...
... As I was nearing the end of the walk a Golden Retriever came charging towards us. He was trailing his lead but there was no sight of his owner anywhere. I recognised him as belonging to a local family that are currently doing their best to develop a bit of a reputation. I am no fan of the family and do my best to avoid them but could hardly leave their dog loose. There was also no way I was going to shake him off as he is intact and T&M are both in season. I am guessing that the children had been walking him and couldn't restrain him. He has a good nature but has not been trained and is VERY strong. I assume he got wind of T&M and simply followed his nose. I therefore ended up grabbing his lead, calming him down with a swift kick up the arse and taking him home. It came as a relief but no surprise that there was no-one at home to receive him. After waiting around for 5 minutes there was no sign of the family so I found the side entrance and shut him in the back garden. I'm sure he was safer there than running loose in the village.
Back home there was time for a quick coffee and a shower and shave before 30% and I drove over to The Bridge at Bidford on Avon for supper. This is a super little restaurant that 30% has dined at on a couple of occasions but it was my first visit. I have to report that it lived up to its reputation and was lovely*. The interior decor is a mixture of rustic and modern and it has a huge window running the full length of the dining area giving a view over the river. The food was great. I had chicken livers done in garlic and cream followed by Sea Bass with pasta, pesto and pine nuts followed by a Creme Caramel. 30% went for scallops and bacon to start, a very posh burger as her main and an Eton Mess variant for pud. It was a lovely start to the holiday and it was really nice to be out as a couple rather than as a family which is the norm nowadays.
We had coffee at home on the sofa and watched a film before retiring to bed knowing that the alarm will not need to be set for another ten days. Fantastic.
As was to be expected most of today was spent in hand-over activities and completing as much as possible "up front" as I know I am going to be very busy when I get back. My out of Office is now set and Tigger is clearly identified as the stuffed furry animal to be contacted if anyone needs anything.
I have had company here at home today as Andy & Steve are here to carry out the preparation for skimming of the Landing and Stairs. The original lime and horsehair plaster has stood up pretty well to the past two and a half centuries but there are a few areas where it is no longer bonded to the walls and the patching associated with building works and re-modelling mean that a skim is needed to pull it all together. Whilst removing the loose plaster S&A exposed one end of the oak lintel over the window. I made a quick styling decision and the entire beam was exposed. It will need a little attention with a wire brush but will look fantastic when surrounded by fresh smooth plaster.
S&A completed all the prep work and left having applied a bonding coat to the bare areas and a coat of PVA to all of the other walls. They will be back on Monday to apply the finish coat. After S&A had finished I switched off my Instant Messenger and took T&M for a walk...
... As I was nearing the end of the walk a Golden Retriever came charging towards us. He was trailing his lead but there was no sight of his owner anywhere. I recognised him as belonging to a local family that are currently doing their best to develop a bit of a reputation. I am no fan of the family and do my best to avoid them but could hardly leave their dog loose. There was also no way I was going to shake him off as he is intact and T&M are both in season. I am guessing that the children had been walking him and couldn't restrain him. He has a good nature but has not been trained and is VERY strong. I assume he got wind of T&M and simply followed his nose. I therefore ended up grabbing his lead, calming him down with a swift kick up the arse and taking him home. It came as a relief but no surprise that there was no-one at home to receive him. After waiting around for 5 minutes there was no sign of the family so I found the side entrance and shut him in the back garden. I'm sure he was safer there than running loose in the village.
Back home there was time for a quick coffee and a shower and shave before 30% and I drove over to The Bridge at Bidford on Avon for supper. This is a super little restaurant that 30% has dined at on a couple of occasions but it was my first visit. I have to report that it lived up to its reputation and was lovely*. The interior decor is a mixture of rustic and modern and it has a huge window running the full length of the dining area giving a view over the river. The food was great. I had chicken livers done in garlic and cream followed by Sea Bass with pasta, pesto and pine nuts followed by a Creme Caramel. 30% went for scallops and bacon to start, a very posh burger as her main and an Eton Mess variant for pud. It was a lovely start to the holiday and it was really nice to be out as a couple rather than as a family which is the norm nowadays.
We had coffee at home on the sofa and watched a film before retiring to bed knowing that the alarm will not need to be set for another ten days. Fantastic.
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* If I could make one tiny criticism, their food deserves linen napkins. Paper serviettes will never do and their tariff suggest they could bear the laundry costs.
Thursday, 29 March 2012
A Mind Reader I am not
For some reason I reviewed Monday's Journal entry today and noted that I expected to have a quiet week with Tigger taking over command...
... it just goes to show how crappy my foresight is. I have spent the past few days running around like the proverbial blue arsed fly re-assembling my team and developing an outline of the changes they need to make in the design of our project. This has been complicated by the fact that the Global Lead doesn't seem interested in anything outside the walls of his office and just seems to expect my revisions to appear on the required date as a result of a series of intertwined miracles.
His lack of communication is now being taken seriously by Christopher Robin and chums and an escalation seems to be on the horizon. I think they finally focused on this problem when I provided an email from an Australian colleague showing that they had absolutely no knowledge of the need for changes.
I held a kick-off call for the team this afternoon and it seemed to go reasonably well. I am hoping that their silence means that all is clear and they are ready to crack on. The realist in me knows that it is actually an expression of their lack of interest and the challenge for Tigger next week is to keep them on track.
Away from work I received a text message from the wordsmith formerly know as TP. He is limping his way around Iceland* on a school trip and the best he could manage when delivering a description of this land of fire and ice was ... "just going past volcanoes at the moment".
I suppose he is only limited to 140 characters.
... it just goes to show how crappy my foresight is. I have spent the past few days running around like the proverbial blue arsed fly re-assembling my team and developing an outline of the changes they need to make in the design of our project. This has been complicated by the fact that the Global Lead doesn't seem interested in anything outside the walls of his office and just seems to expect my revisions to appear on the required date as a result of a series of intertwined miracles.
His lack of communication is now being taken seriously by Christopher Robin and chums and an escalation seems to be on the horizon. I think they finally focused on this problem when I provided an email from an Australian colleague showing that they had absolutely no knowledge of the need for changes.
I held a kick-off call for the team this afternoon and it seemed to go reasonably well. I am hoping that their silence means that all is clear and they are ready to crack on. The realist in me knows that it is actually an expression of their lack of interest and the challenge for Tigger next week is to keep them on track.
Away from work I received a text message from the wordsmith formerly know as TP. He is limping his way around Iceland* on a school trip and the best he could manage when delivering a description of this land of fire and ice was ... "just going past volcanoes at the moment".
I suppose he is only limited to 140 characters.
---
* the near bankrupt country, not the frozen food store
Wednesday, 28 March 2012
Here we go again
After hearing mutterings for the past couple of weeks, I have managed to pin down the Head Honcho in the US and got him to confirm that he does need me to provide him with an updated set of costs in about three weeks time*. This is the chap who is crap at communication and, once again, I got a single line saying "Yes, I need updated costs" but no detail of the changes that need to be made.
I have therefore spent much of the day working out how my work products will change so that my hastily assembled team can make a quick start rather than sitting around waiting for Mr Uncommunicative.
I knocked out a high level set of design changes but couldn't put them in front of the team until the Head Honcho had confirmed that they were appropriate. I therefore had poor Tigger chasing him around a Manhattan Office with the firm instruction to sit on him until he read and responded to my proposals. Tigger's role is mostly Bouncing and making up numbers and I really should have got Piglet on board for a game of Piggy in the Middle.
Eventually, about an hour before a much needed Gin & Tonic, Tigger called to say that the Head Honcho agreed with my proposals. This is a huge relief as it means that I can get the team heading in a clear direction before Tigger has to manage them remotely from down town, New York next week.
Other Stuff
We received a text from TP to let us know that the Blue Lagoon in Iceland was amazing. there was no mention of his foot so I am assuming that he did not leave swirling red trails, of the type most attractive to sharks, as he swam around these Geo-thermally heated pools.
I have therefore spent much of the day working out how my work products will change so that my hastily assembled team can make a quick start rather than sitting around waiting for Mr Uncommunicative.
I knocked out a high level set of design changes but couldn't put them in front of the team until the Head Honcho had confirmed that they were appropriate. I therefore had poor Tigger chasing him around a Manhattan Office with the firm instruction to sit on him until he read and responded to my proposals. Tigger's role is mostly Bouncing and making up numbers and I really should have got Piglet on board for a game of Piggy in the Middle.
Eventually, about an hour before a much needed Gin & Tonic, Tigger called to say that the Head Honcho agreed with my proposals. This is a huge relief as it means that I can get the team heading in a clear direction before Tigger has to manage them remotely from down town, New York next week.
Other Stuff
We received a text from TP to let us know that the Blue Lagoon in Iceland was amazing. there was no mention of his foot so I am assuming that he did not leave swirling red trails, of the type most attractive to sharks, as he swam around these Geo-thermally heated pools.
---
* If I hadn't badgered him, when would he have told me ?
Tuesday, 27 March 2012
Movie Quotes
"If you build it they will come" - Ray Liotta in Field of Dreams
"If I drop the kettle, it will dent" - badman in The Kitchen
"If I drop the kettle, it will dent" - badman in The Kitchen
No, He is not going for a Pizza
TP or "Jammy Git" as he should more accurately be described is off to Iceland tomorrow for a 5 day Geography Field Trip. 30% and I have been to the Trip Presentation sessions and we both agree that Iceland is wasted on him and we would be far more appreciative of the tour. To be blunt it looks fantastic and takes in the Fire and Ice features for which this country is renowned.
I was therefore somewhat perturbed when he wandered downstairs at the weekend and grunted "I've got some sort of rash thing". I examined the rash thing and realised that this would need Professional scrutiny. As a result I have had to prostrate myself in front of the Doctor's Receptionist begging and bending the facts to ensure that he got seen by a GP and was cleared to fly to Iceland.
After a couple of consultations we have been advised that all is well and it is likely to have been triggered by a recent throat infection. They have confirmed that it is not infectious and he can go and wander over glaciers and volcanoes.
We were obviously relieved so you can imagine how peeved I was when he walked in the house and managed to cut the sole of his foot. This was no minor scratch. It was one of those where you can see a trail of blood spots leading from the scene of the accident. After cleaning and applying pressure it seemed to stop bleeding. This was a good sign and I also managed to locate a "Rolls Royce" of adhesive dressings that was left over from my hand operation back in November last year. This was applied and he claims that all is well and that he can walk.
I thoughtfully added extra Elastoplast to his luggage and hope he heals quickly.
I was therefore somewhat perturbed when he wandered downstairs at the weekend and grunted "I've got some sort of rash thing". I examined the rash thing and realised that this would need Professional scrutiny. As a result I have had to prostrate myself in front of the Doctor's Receptionist begging and bending the facts to ensure that he got seen by a GP and was cleared to fly to Iceland.
After a couple of consultations we have been advised that all is well and it is likely to have been triggered by a recent throat infection. They have confirmed that it is not infectious and he can go and wander over glaciers and volcanoes.
We were obviously relieved so you can imagine how peeved I was when he walked in the house and managed to cut the sole of his foot. This was no minor scratch. It was one of those where you can see a trail of blood spots leading from the scene of the accident. After cleaning and applying pressure it seemed to stop bleeding. This was a good sign and I also managed to locate a "Rolls Royce" of adhesive dressings that was left over from my hand operation back in November last year. This was applied and he claims that all is well and that he can walk.
I thoughtfully added extra Elastoplast to his luggage and hope he heals quickly.
Monday, 26 March 2012
Hand-over
I'm on holiday next week. We are not going away and, instead, plan to finish the "preparation" on the stairs and landing. Work, on the other hand, had a completely different set of plans for me and wanted me to fly out to New York tomorrow and stay there until Wednesday next week. Normally I would consider rearranging my leave to accommodate but we are at the end of the leave year, I have a nit picking, pedant of a manager, I really want to get the house finished plus a thousand other reasons why I decided I wouldn't travel to NYC*.
As a result Tigger will be my most capable Deputy and what little work I did today involved making sure he was as prepared as possible for the trip. This is a challenge in itself as the US Project Manager is piss poor at communication and we have scant detail of what he wants Tigger to do. To give you some idea of the low quality of this PM's communications let me precis his request for UK representation in the US this week. His request was a one line e-mail asking for a UK representative to attend a client meeting and preparation. This e-mail did not include any dates and neither did it include any address or agenda details, background information was as rare as Unicorn Pooh**...
... funnily enough, item one on Tigger's "to do" list is development of a Communications Plan.
With Tigger on-board and heading off to the US for the main activity I am drifting in a back-water this week and will be hard pressed to keep myself busy at work.
** I had to Instant Messenger him last week to actually find out when and where he needed Tigger.
As a result Tigger will be my most capable Deputy and what little work I did today involved making sure he was as prepared as possible for the trip. This is a challenge in itself as the US Project Manager is piss poor at communication and we have scant detail of what he wants Tigger to do. To give you some idea of the low quality of this PM's communications let me precis his request for UK representation in the US this week. His request was a one line e-mail asking for a UK representative to attend a client meeting and preparation. This e-mail did not include any dates and neither did it include any address or agenda details, background information was as rare as Unicorn Pooh**...
... funnily enough, item one on Tigger's "to do" list is development of a Communications Plan.
With Tigger on-board and heading off to the US for the main activity I am drifting in a back-water this week and will be hard pressed to keep myself busy at work.
---
* If we are successfully down-selected by the client there will be another opportunity in April or early May.** I had to Instant Messenger him last week to actually find out when and where he needed Tigger.
Sunday, 25 March 2012
Weekend Round Up
It is becoming a regular feature that Saturday and Sunday's activities are recounted in a single Journal entry going under the title of "Weekend Round Up". Not wishing to interrupt this evolving tradition here is a summary of this weekend ...
Saturday: Unleashing The Beast
After some non-specific pottering 30% and I headed towards deepest Stourbridge to drop the Land Rover off at The Defender Centre. The car should be with them for a week or so whilst various mechanical, cosmetic and functional changes are made. Under the bonnet the replacement of the dual mass flywheel and clutch will eliminate the judder that accompanies hurried exits from junctions. On the outside Alpine Windows will be installed in the roof which will then be colour matched to the body. On the inside there is a long list of improvements all aimed at making it slightly less van like; heated seats in the front, a pair of tip-up seats in the rear plus trim and insulation /sound deadening. Once finished I am guessing that I will be extremely reluctant to put anything shitty in it ever again.
Back home we lunched and then I took T&M around the Three Miler. The weather is stunning considering Spring has barely started. The down-side to this is that 30% keeps turning off the heating. I will break chronological conventions here by mentioning that being a late riser she is blissfully unaware that the nights and early mornings are still very chilly and that the heating most definitely still needs to be on until after breakfast.
Clambering back on to the linear time track I find myself back at home after walking the dogs. The lawn is looking dreadful after the Winter and I decide to unleash The Porn Mower in the vain hope that a trim will sort things out. This is very much like hoping that sticking plaster is a suitable treatment for accidental amputation and I really need turf, grass seed, exclusion zones and long hours with a sprinkler if I really want to use the word lawn with any credibility.
Sunday: Stair Repairs
After a couple of weeks off we were back at the Rugby Club this morning for a training session. Being conscientious parents we left TP there on his own and disappeared in to Redditch for supplies. The supplies were a large amount of paint, to be applied to the stairs and landing, and a small amount of groceries, to accompany a shoulder of lamb this evening.
As is the norm; lunch was followed by a walk and I then made a start on the refurbishment of the stair case...
... The older parts of The Pile date back to the 1750s and the stairs are most definitely one of the older parts. Building techniques in those days tended to be along the lines of using what was near at hand and as a result there are some rather peculiar construction features to be seen in the house. These are all quite sturdy. They have, after all, lasted more than 250 years but their "finishing" is, shall we say, a little rough and ready.
The stair case is a classic case in point. A couple of weeks ago I stripped the paint from the trim panels on either side of the stairs. These were found to be made of elm and in pretty good condition. The only problem was that the gaps between the trim panels and the stair treads were large and unsightly and these gaps had been concealed with crude strips of 1/2" softwood.
The plan is to sand, oil and wax these trim panels so the softwood strips have to go. I have therefore spent a good chunk of the afternoon cutting replacements from my supply of old, elm boards. These new strips are of a simple design but the addition of a bull-nose to the edges and front corner and the use of very old timber mean that they look to be part of the stair case rather than crude additions. I have cut half a dozen so far from a final total of eighteen. It doesn't sound like many but the strips need to be prepared from inch thick planks and each one needs to be individually sized...
... I wonder how busy I'll be this week?
Saturday: Unleashing The Beast
After some non-specific pottering 30% and I headed towards deepest Stourbridge to drop the Land Rover off at The Defender Centre. The car should be with them for a week or so whilst various mechanical, cosmetic and functional changes are made. Under the bonnet the replacement of the dual mass flywheel and clutch will eliminate the judder that accompanies hurried exits from junctions. On the outside Alpine Windows will be installed in the roof which will then be colour matched to the body. On the inside there is a long list of improvements all aimed at making it slightly less van like; heated seats in the front, a pair of tip-up seats in the rear plus trim and insulation /sound deadening. Once finished I am guessing that I will be extremely reluctant to put anything shitty in it ever again.
Back home we lunched and then I took T&M around the Three Miler. The weather is stunning considering Spring has barely started. The down-side to this is that 30% keeps turning off the heating. I will break chronological conventions here by mentioning that being a late riser she is blissfully unaware that the nights and early mornings are still very chilly and that the heating most definitely still needs to be on until after breakfast.
Clambering back on to the linear time track I find myself back at home after walking the dogs. The lawn is looking dreadful after the Winter and I decide to unleash The Porn Mower in the vain hope that a trim will sort things out. This is very much like hoping that sticking plaster is a suitable treatment for accidental amputation and I really need turf, grass seed, exclusion zones and long hours with a sprinkler if I really want to use the word lawn with any credibility.
Sunday: Stair Repairs
After a couple of weeks off we were back at the Rugby Club this morning for a training session. Being conscientious parents we left TP there on his own and disappeared in to Redditch for supplies. The supplies were a large amount of paint, to be applied to the stairs and landing, and a small amount of groceries, to accompany a shoulder of lamb this evening.
As is the norm; lunch was followed by a walk and I then made a start on the refurbishment of the stair case...
... The older parts of The Pile date back to the 1750s and the stairs are most definitely one of the older parts. Building techniques in those days tended to be along the lines of using what was near at hand and as a result there are some rather peculiar construction features to be seen in the house. These are all quite sturdy. They have, after all, lasted more than 250 years but their "finishing" is, shall we say, a little rough and ready.
The stair case is a classic case in point. A couple of weeks ago I stripped the paint from the trim panels on either side of the stairs. These were found to be made of elm and in pretty good condition. The only problem was that the gaps between the trim panels and the stair treads were large and unsightly and these gaps had been concealed with crude strips of 1/2" softwood.
The plan is to sand, oil and wax these trim panels so the softwood strips have to go. I have therefore spent a good chunk of the afternoon cutting replacements from my supply of old, elm boards. These new strips are of a simple design but the addition of a bull-nose to the edges and front corner and the use of very old timber mean that they look to be part of the stair case rather than crude additions. I have cut half a dozen so far from a final total of eighteen. It doesn't sound like many but the strips need to be prepared from inch thick planks and each one needs to be individually sized...
... I wonder how busy I'll be this week?
Friday, 23 March 2012
Thought for the day
Tigger and I spent a huge amount of time on the 'phone today talking nonsense but we did manage to come up with this pearl of wisdom...
Pooh I think the best thing in the world is finding half a Pork Pie in the fridge?
Tigger Wouldn’t a whole Pork Pie be even better?
Pooh No, because it is very difficult to prove that you have sneaked a slice of an already cut pie
Tigger Ah, I see. In that case wouldn’t it be better to find two cut Pies in the fridge?
Pooh It would.
Thursday, 22 March 2012
Am I sitting comfortably?
The Car Trimmer called yesterday to let me know that he had finished the Land Rover seats. As a result my first activity this morning was to get some cash from the auto bank and then nip round to his workshop. I turned up and we had a natter and he joked that the seats were far too good for the Defender. We then got on to the subject of the refurb and he commented that the door cards were a bit scruffy. I agreed and asked about having them sprayed. I had been pondering their replacement but new cards were in the region of £350 and I had found that price a little off putting. He gave them a quick glance and said that he could have them looking as good as new for £50. A deal was struck and the car will be dropped down there as soon as it comes back from the Defender Centre.
My attention was then directed to the seats. I can quite honestly say I was lost for words. They look fantastic. I am guessing that they were a pretty straightforward task looking at the other vehicles in the shop. At the time of my visit there were two late 1980's Mercedes SL coupe's and a Range Rover all awaiting his attention. The Defender was, perhaps, a little outside his normal market sector.
As work was quiet I took the opportunity to install the seats as soon as I got home.
There is not a lot else to report; a long overdue haircut was performed and my troublesome camera arrived back from Canon's Service Centre. After a few initial shots I am not yet convinced that they have actually fixed the problem.
My attention was then directed to the seats. I can quite honestly say I was lost for words. They look fantastic. I am guessing that they were a pretty straightforward task looking at the other vehicles in the shop. At the time of my visit there were two late 1980's Mercedes SL coupe's and a Range Rover all awaiting his attention. The Defender was, perhaps, a little outside his normal market sector.
As work was quiet I took the opportunity to install the seats as soon as I got home.
There is not a lot else to report; a long overdue haircut was performed and my troublesome camera arrived back from Canon's Service Centre. After a few initial shots I am not yet convinced that they have actually fixed the problem.
Wednesday, 21 March 2012
Man Hunt
Wednesday saw Tigger and me meet up at the Nearest Circle of Hell. There were a number of reasons for this outing and they are outlined below in order of importance:-
I was somewhat reluctant to send one of my empty hunny jars and Tigger just didn't get it. He pointed out that EVERYONE knew who Tigger is, even very small children, so why would he need to prove his identity? I pointed out that he might need to get in to a secure location when there weren't any small children around to verify his credentials and integrity. Tigger wouldn't accept this until I pointed out that this might occur after their bedtime.
Tigger and I were still very reluctant to send in our passports as our job has a nasty habit of requiring us to cross the Atlantic at very short notice and this is tricky if your passport is 110 miles away on your Manager's desk. We therefore decided to submit a photocopy that had been duly certified, as a true and accurate copy, by a Senior Daemon at Dante's Nine Circles of Hell.
We foolishly thought it would be easy to find a Senior Daemon and wandered in to the Office we normally frequent. There was no sign at all of manager. We then wandered down to one of our old haunts and tried there. There was no-one of sufficient authority there either. Next on our list was a visit to see Grand Dad Jack. He knows everyone and we were sure he would be able to point us at someone...
... but there was no-one in Jack's lair* either. At this point we were getting desperate and wondered if a Restaurant Manager would do. Eventually, after three separate forays, Jack suggested we ask for assistance from one of his more rotund lionesses. She pointed us in the direction of a chap who was more than happy to validate a photocopy. Job done, applications now in the post. The irony of this search is that Dante's is notorious for having a huge number of Daemons but on the one occasion you need to find one they are conspicuous in their absence.
- My Social Development. 30% thinks it is very important for me to mix with other human beings on a regular basis. Apparently I get a bit "odd" if I spend too much time at home with just the dogs for company.
- Spreading joy and delight amongst our colleagues. My interpretation of some of the looks we got during the day suggested that perhaps were just a bit too joyful for some of the people in the office
- The barter of half a dozen eggs for one medium cup of black coffee plus two empty egg boxes. The chickens are laying like maniacs now Spring is here and I badly need containers for the glut.
- General discourse on work in general and the continued character
analysisassassination of the Idiot Manager. This latter discussion topic is now mandated whenever two or more job holders congregate for a period of more than 36 seconds. The discussion must be repetitive, not produce action items but must conclude that the man is, at the very least, a Tit. - A game of "Hunt the Senior Daemon".
I was somewhat reluctant to send one of my empty hunny jars and Tigger just didn't get it. He pointed out that EVERYONE knew who Tigger is, even very small children, so why would he need to prove his identity? I pointed out that he might need to get in to a secure location when there weren't any small children around to verify his credentials and integrity. Tigger wouldn't accept this until I pointed out that this might occur after their bedtime.
Tigger and I were still very reluctant to send in our passports as our job has a nasty habit of requiring us to cross the Atlantic at very short notice and this is tricky if your passport is 110 miles away on your Manager's desk. We therefore decided to submit a photocopy that had been duly certified, as a true and accurate copy, by a Senior Daemon at Dante's Nine Circles of Hell.
We foolishly thought it would be easy to find a Senior Daemon and wandered in to the Office we normally frequent. There was no sign at all of manager. We then wandered down to one of our old haunts and tried there. There was no-one of sufficient authority there either. Next on our list was a visit to see Grand Dad Jack. He knows everyone and we were sure he would be able to point us at someone...
... but there was no-one in Jack's lair* either. At this point we were getting desperate and wondered if a Restaurant Manager would do. Eventually, after three separate forays, Jack suggested we ask for assistance from one of his more rotund lionesses. She pointed us in the direction of a chap who was more than happy to validate a photocopy. Job done, applications now in the post. The irony of this search is that Dante's is notorious for having a huge number of Daemons but on the one occasion you need to find one they are conspicuous in their absence.
---
* Jack's resides in his lair like a venerable, but still sprightly, lion. His favourite resting place gives him fine view of the plains and frequent sightings of young lionesses.
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