Friday was slower that yesterday but I had to remain chained to the desk just in case. A badly scheduled set of work and personal meetings meant that I didn't have time to walk T&M today. Fortunately 30% had a day off work and took them for a run around the football field. By the look of Tyson she had spent most of that session diving in the goal mouth as she came back plastered with a rich red mud.
Although I needed to be close to a phone and laptop all day I did have free rein to wander about the house and managed to clear spare timber and tools from the Dining Room. I also finally mixed and applied the heat proof concrete behind the fire back which allowed me to tick another job off the to do list.
In the early afternoon I closed down my laptop and 30% and I headed over to school for a meeting with TP's head master and English Teacher. This year there has been quite a furore in the Press following a decision to mark English papers more aggressively and TP has been an unfortunate bystander to this decision ...
... his papers were marked and he and a dozen of his peers all attained the necessary grades. Unfortunately the rest of his class were required to repeat a number of controlled assessments. The net result of this situation is that, since September, TP and his 12 mates have been sidelined whilst the teacher concentrated on the rest of the class. We first raised our concerns over the lack of tuition more than a month ago but the word of reassurance we received were just that; "words" and matters came to a head when a number of the students complained to the Head Master that they were not being taught. This resulted in a "behind the scenes" set of meetings and one of the outcomes was TP's teacher sidelining his cohort and clearly pointing out to them that "they should not have gone to the head master and she has the teaching degree and therefore know best". It is fair to say that we were not best impressed so spent a hour with the Head and the English Teacher making clear that leaving a dozen Top Set students to their own devices for two months was not acceptable and neither was an admonishment when they made it clear that they wanted to be taught. We also made it very clear that when we are told matters are in hand we expect matters to be "in hand" and not, as it appeared, that they just carried on as normal.
The day finished with a trip over to Warwick Arts Centre to see Kevin Bridges stand up show. I have to be honest and say that I wasn't really looking forward to the gig. We have been to Warwick many times in the recent few months and I am becoming a little bored with the whole event; the drive, the hanging around in the foyer with the smell of burnt panini arising from the cafe, the wait for the show to start, listening to a number of tracks from the Performers i-Tunes library. It is all getting a little "samey" and a piss poor, instantly forgettable, Australian support act did nothing to improve my mood. We wandered out and kicked our heels people watching for the mandated twenty minute interval and then returned for Bridges set ...
... I am delighted to say that he turned my jaded mood completely around with a very funny series of anecdotes and topical material delivered with a Glaswegian twist and perspective. It was a great night with a performance that reminded me of why I love going to see live comedy. I am still bored with the "Warwick Arts Centre experience" but I really enjoyed the show. A definite 8/10.
Friday, 23 November 2012
Thursday, 22 November 2012
Long Lunch
It was another fairly quiet day and, after a boring ninety minute 'phone call with a Sales Executive, I trundled over to collect Band Man Senior and we spent a few hours chatting and taking lunch together. I dropped him back at home in the early afternoon and returned to walk T&M in the rapidly fading light.
That pretty much sums up my day. In the early evening I had to pop out and pick up TP from a neighbouring village. He had rung earlier in the day to advise that school was closing early due to a fear of flooding and he was going to spend the afternoon at his mates' house. The rain came down heavily as we driving home and I have to say that the drops were absolutely enormous and so heavy that full beam could not be used as the rain just reflected it back in to the car. The last time I saw raindrops like these was during a tropical storm in Southern Mexico more than twelve years ago.
That was my day, on the work front I still think that we are disorganised in terms of what we are to present to the client next week but I am not going to worry about that. We have a couple of rehearsal sessions on Monday and I am sure we will think of something to say.
That pretty much sums up my day. In the early evening I had to pop out and pick up TP from a neighbouring village. He had rung earlier in the day to advise that school was closing early due to a fear of flooding and he was going to spend the afternoon at his mates' house. The rain came down heavily as we driving home and I have to say that the drops were absolutely enormous and so heavy that full beam could not be used as the rain just reflected it back in to the car. The last time I saw raindrops like these was during a tropical storm in Southern Mexico more than twelve years ago.
That was my day, on the work front I still think that we are disorganised in terms of what we are to present to the client next week but I am not going to worry about that. We have a couple of rehearsal sessions on Monday and I am sure we will think of something to say.
Wednesday, 21 November 2012
More of the same
It will probably come as no surprise to learn that today was spent reviewing PowerPoint slides and answering questions raised by the Client. Apparently it has become my role to take minutes and convert Executive scrawl in to polished prose. I was not best impressed at landing these jobs as we do have a team member specifically in place to perform those duties ...
... Lets call him John, "Hello John, what are you doing today". "Hello bad man, I'm sat out on the verandah drinking a Pimms. Do you know, I've a terrible mole problem out on the Southern Lawn at the moment"
That pretty much sums up John. He is a delightful chap, beautifully spoken with a splendid turn of phrase from a bygone age, but as a Bid Manager he is a complete waste of space. I have worked with him ... well I say worked, what I really mean that we have been assigned on the same deals a number of times and I have yet to see him do anything worthwhile and if he does do something it is usually wrong.
The first time I encountered him we were discussing a unit rate on an opportunity and I mentioned that the number looked totally wrong and seemed to be a pricing problem. He told me that couldn't be so. I did what any "newby" would do and ignored him and looked in to how this number had been developed. Surprise, Surprise! The Pricer advised that he had taken annual costs and converted them in to a monthly rate thereby producing a price twelve times higher than it should be.
From that point forward he has dithered around the far edges of my projects doing the bare minimum and taking a healthy bonus when they get signed. On rare occasions I have worked with proper bid managers that actually know what they are doing and they are an absolute boon. They really do take the weight and leave you to concentrate on the important elements. They will act as your chaser, your compiler or your event organiser and do it far better than you can because that is all they do. They are not responsible for delivering anything they simply collate and arrange. I am seriously considering becoming a bid manager when I get too old to perform my current role.
I will say one more thing about dear old John. On the reviews last week I noticed that one of the slides had a comment assigned to it. I clicked on the flag and noticed that it was one I made early in 2011. The lazy old sod had been repeatedly using the same deck on deal after deal and had never bothered to review and delete irrelevant and possible confusing information.
Talk about a quality product.
... Lets call him John, "Hello John, what are you doing today". "Hello bad man, I'm sat out on the verandah drinking a Pimms. Do you know, I've a terrible mole problem out on the Southern Lawn at the moment"
That pretty much sums up John. He is a delightful chap, beautifully spoken with a splendid turn of phrase from a bygone age, but as a Bid Manager he is a complete waste of space. I have worked with him ... well I say worked, what I really mean that we have been assigned on the same deals a number of times and I have yet to see him do anything worthwhile and if he does do something it is usually wrong.
The first time I encountered him we were discussing a unit rate on an opportunity and I mentioned that the number looked totally wrong and seemed to be a pricing problem. He told me that couldn't be so. I did what any "newby" would do and ignored him and looked in to how this number had been developed. Surprise, Surprise! The Pricer advised that he had taken annual costs and converted them in to a monthly rate thereby producing a price twelve times higher than it should be.
From that point forward he has dithered around the far edges of my projects doing the bare minimum and taking a healthy bonus when they get signed. On rare occasions I have worked with proper bid managers that actually know what they are doing and they are an absolute boon. They really do take the weight and leave you to concentrate on the important elements. They will act as your chaser, your compiler or your event organiser and do it far better than you can because that is all they do. They are not responsible for delivering anything they simply collate and arrange. I am seriously considering becoming a bid manager when I get too old to perform my current role.
I will say one more thing about dear old John. On the reviews last week I noticed that one of the slides had a comment assigned to it. I clicked on the flag and noticed that it was one I made early in 2011. The lazy old sod had been repeatedly using the same deck on deal after deal and had never bothered to review and delete irrelevant and possible confusing information.
Talk about a quality product.
Tuesday, 20 November 2012
SEP *
Today the work on the PowerPoint presentation continued and, if I am totally honest, I threw together a simple set of six slides and passed them out for review while I got on with more important things like tidying up in the dining room and preparing for the application of heat proof concrete behind the fire back.
After lunch I attended the daily call where my slides were discussed ...
... sort of ! There was no actual critique. In fact there was no real discussion of any sort other than an acknowledgement that they existed. What the discussion revolved around was the slides that didn't exist. Our slides need an Executive Summary and Introduction up at the front and a presentation of the Financials at the back. My stuff sits in the middle. These slides need to be drafted by the Sales Executive and the Account Executive with support from the Pricer. As the call progressed it became apparent that the Account Executive was totally overwhelmed by the amount of work she had on her plate and had absolutely no intention of drafting anything. It was clear that all she had time for was a review of slides drafted by someone else. I did what any good citizen would do and kept my mouth shut and let this discussion pan out. To be blunt, I had been the only person on the team that had actually stuck their neck out proposed some ideas and developed a draft of the material that I needed to present. There was no fucking way that I was going to volunteer to draft slides for subjects about which I know little and for people that don't seem to be particularly concerned about organising their time to get this work completed.
I have reached that nirvana state that is neatly summed up by the phrase bollocks to them!.
Away from work it was 30%'s brothers 30th birthday today so we joined him, his girlfriend, parents and sister for a couple of drinks and watched them eat dinner. The reason for this peculiar arrangement was that TP had rugby practice at a nearby pitch and the timing of dinner and rugby antics meant that a) TP could not attend and b) there was insufficient time for us to eat dinner before we needed to collect TP. As a result we stayed as long as we could and ended up absolutely famished watching them tuck in to fine fare whilst we needed to get home before our supper could be had.
After lunch I attended the daily call where my slides were discussed ...
... sort of ! There was no actual critique. In fact there was no real discussion of any sort other than an acknowledgement that they existed. What the discussion revolved around was the slides that didn't exist. Our slides need an Executive Summary and Introduction up at the front and a presentation of the Financials at the back. My stuff sits in the middle. These slides need to be drafted by the Sales Executive and the Account Executive with support from the Pricer. As the call progressed it became apparent that the Account Executive was totally overwhelmed by the amount of work she had on her plate and had absolutely no intention of drafting anything. It was clear that all she had time for was a review of slides drafted by someone else. I did what any good citizen would do and kept my mouth shut and let this discussion pan out. To be blunt, I had been the only person on the team that had actually stuck their neck out proposed some ideas and developed a draft of the material that I needed to present. There was no fucking way that I was going to volunteer to draft slides for subjects about which I know little and for people that don't seem to be particularly concerned about organising their time to get this work completed.
I have reached that nirvana state that is neatly summed up by the phrase bollocks to them!.
Away from work it was 30%'s brothers 30th birthday today so we joined him, his girlfriend, parents and sister for a couple of drinks and watched them eat dinner. The reason for this peculiar arrangement was that TP had rugby practice at a nearby pitch and the timing of dinner and rugby antics meant that a) TP could not attend and b) there was insufficient time for us to eat dinner before we needed to collect TP. As a result we stayed as long as we could and ended up absolutely famished watching them tuck in to fine fare whilst we needed to get home before our supper could be had.
---
* My favourite TLA. SEP : Someone Else's Problem.
Monday, 19 November 2012
The Weak Link
Monday came and went from a working perspective. Next week I will be up in London as part of the team presenting our recently developed proposal to the Client. I am sure that will be great fun as the draft agenda had me stood up for an hour when I really only have twenty minutes of material at best and that includes a couple of jokes that wouldn't sit well in mixed company. The agenda also had me presenting the Financials which is a bit like asking a brick layer to carry out the re-wiring of your home ...
... definitely not my area of expertise. As a result much of today has been spent thinking about PowerPoint presentations, story boarding and whom will present what.
As is usual on this deal, the Sales Executive isn't exactly leading from the front and it is down to me to come up with the ideas so that he can agree and then I get left to knock them in to shape.*
This is the point where we both get a little worried as neither of us have a detailed knowledge of the Client or the services that are currently being delivered. We therefore see the exiting Account and Delivery Leads as having a key role in providing the detail and selling this extension of services ...
... and that is where nagging doubts start to surface. One of them manages to turn up for meetings and calls but is a bit waffly and seems slow to grasp what we are doing and where we are coming from but that is fantastic compared to the other one who is, at best, late for meetings but more usually just doesn't turn up, cannot manage their e-mail so has to be told which mails must be read and I am becoming a little suspicious that she actually uses illness or extreme business to avoid any significant involvement in our current project. I might be doing her a disservice ...
... but I doubt it.
** but apparently it is possible to sprinkle them with glitter!
... definitely not my area of expertise. As a result much of today has been spent thinking about PowerPoint presentations, story boarding and whom will present what.
As is usual on this deal, the Sales Executive isn't exactly leading from the front and it is down to me to come up with the ideas so that he can agree and then I get left to knock them in to shape.*
This is the point where we both get a little worried as neither of us have a detailed knowledge of the Client or the services that are currently being delivered. We therefore see the exiting Account and Delivery Leads as having a key role in providing the detail and selling this extension of services ...
... and that is where nagging doubts start to surface. One of them manages to turn up for meetings and calls but is a bit waffly and seems slow to grasp what we are doing and where we are coming from but that is fantastic compared to the other one who is, at best, late for meetings but more usually just doesn't turn up, cannot manage their e-mail so has to be told which mails must be read and I am becoming a little suspicious that she actually uses illness or extreme business to avoid any significant involvement in our current project. I might be doing her a disservice ...
... but I doubt it.
---
* and we all know how hard it is to polish a turd.**** but apparently it is possible to sprinkle them with glitter!
Sunday, 18 November 2012
Hat Trick
I woke at a horrible hour on Sunday morning and couldn't get back to sleep. As we needed to be up and about very early this morning I bit the bullet and rose a little before six and used coffee to ease my way in to the day. An hour or so later I "encouraged" 30% from her slumbers and we were out of the house a full twenty minutes before eight o'clock...
... The reason for this early start was that TP needed to be picked up following yesterday evening's party and then ferried across the county to the rugby club where one of the Wingers needed a lift to an away match at a club North of Coventry. We arrived at the ground shortly before ten after spending two hours in the car that should have been spent somewhere betwixt bedroom and the kitchen.
I don't like away matches as they have a tendency to knacker up my Sundays. The take away the opportunity to walk the dogs while TP warms up for a home match and consequently an "away day" just becomes rugby, a dog walk and preparation for the working week ahead.
As eleven o'clock neared 30% and I wandered up to the touch line and acknowledged that the summer sun on our faces was a pleasant experience. The lads gathered on the pitch and the match started. After last week's fiasco TP's team seemed to be making a reasonably job of things and within a matter of minutes TP was passed the ball close to the line and took it over for the first try of the game, a good omen perhaps? Over the next forty minutes TP's team kept the ball in their opponents half for the majority of the time and ended the first half with a commanding lead having only lost concentration once when the opposition got a well deserved five points. The second half continued in the same vein and TP added a further two tries to his tally and the final score was 53:5. The lads played an outstanding game and came away with a well deserved win. There is still room for improvement in a couple of areas but it definitely made it worth the very early start.
We got home a little after two and following lunch I took T&M for a walk and then crashed on the sofa for a hour or so before a spell of gently pottering in the Dining Room where further pieces of trim and architrave were shaped and fitted.
... The reason for this early start was that TP needed to be picked up following yesterday evening's party and then ferried across the county to the rugby club where one of the Wingers needed a lift to an away match at a club North of Coventry. We arrived at the ground shortly before ten after spending two hours in the car that should have been spent somewhere betwixt bedroom and the kitchen.
I don't like away matches as they have a tendency to knacker up my Sundays. The take away the opportunity to walk the dogs while TP warms up for a home match and consequently an "away day" just becomes rugby, a dog walk and preparation for the working week ahead.
As eleven o'clock neared 30% and I wandered up to the touch line and acknowledged that the summer sun on our faces was a pleasant experience. The lads gathered on the pitch and the match started. After last week's fiasco TP's team seemed to be making a reasonably job of things and within a matter of minutes TP was passed the ball close to the line and took it over for the first try of the game, a good omen perhaps? Over the next forty minutes TP's team kept the ball in their opponents half for the majority of the time and ended the first half with a commanding lead having only lost concentration once when the opposition got a well deserved five points. The second half continued in the same vein and TP added a further two tries to his tally and the final score was 53:5. The lads played an outstanding game and came away with a well deserved win. There is still room for improvement in a couple of areas but it definitely made it worth the very early start.
We got home a little after two and following lunch I took T&M for a walk and then crashed on the sofa for a hour or so before a spell of gently pottering in the Dining Room where further pieces of trim and architrave were shaped and fitted.
Saturday, 17 November 2012
Getting on with Things
Before I make a start on Saturday's comings and goings I'll give a quick recount of Friday night's stand up session at Warwick Arts Centre ...
... it was great. I found it quite difficult to put my finger on why I found Alan Davies so funny but I think it comes down to the fact that whilst he is a well known TV personality he hasn't really performed a stand up routine on television for many, many years. As a consequence you have had no real exposure, or over exposure, to his material or delivery and his routine was therefore both a surprise and a delight. I won't put any "spoilers" in this brief review but to hear Jonathan Creek describing the removal of Thai Love Beads as a fine balance between starting the lawn mower and removing a Guinea Worm by winding it on to a stick had me in stitches. It was a fun night out and very refreshing to see Davies out doing what he is so good at. Definitely 8.5/10.
Having covered Friday night I'll amble in to Saturday. There is no point in rushing as it is the weekend after all...
... After yesterday's rapid sorting and packing of the half pig the fridge still seemed to contain a mountain of pork and I spent the first half of the morning cubing a shoulder joint for future casseroles. I also seemed to have bought a pig with two heads so the next job was to remove the cheeks and start another batch of Guanciale. Having finished that I was left looking at a huge pile of bones so the final task of the morning was to roast the bones and then drag out the Jam Kettle and some vegetables to make a cauldron of pork stock.
It was close to midday by the time 30% returned from dropping TP off in Redditch and a tour of various grocery stores. We lunched together and I then took T&M out for a walk whilst she attempted to clear the decks.
Saturday's DIY task was to cut and fix the oak quadrant around the hearth stone in the Dining Room. It sounds straightforward but nothing in the Dining Room is either square or level so each piece had to be planed to ensure it didn't sit "proud" towards the back of the stone. There is no such thing as a five minute job at The Pile.
Having finished that I actually took a few minutes to just do nothing before I was careering around the lanes of the Vale of Evesham taking TP and friend; Nathan to a party. I hurried home for 30%'s Lamb Pilaf which went down well with Pinky who had joined us for supper and an evening of chat.
... it was great. I found it quite difficult to put my finger on why I found Alan Davies so funny but I think it comes down to the fact that whilst he is a well known TV personality he hasn't really performed a stand up routine on television for many, many years. As a consequence you have had no real exposure, or over exposure, to his material or delivery and his routine was therefore both a surprise and a delight. I won't put any "spoilers" in this brief review but to hear Jonathan Creek describing the removal of Thai Love Beads as a fine balance between starting the lawn mower and removing a Guinea Worm by winding it on to a stick had me in stitches. It was a fun night out and very refreshing to see Davies out doing what he is so good at. Definitely 8.5/10.
Having covered Friday night I'll amble in to Saturday. There is no point in rushing as it is the weekend after all...
... After yesterday's rapid sorting and packing of the half pig the fridge still seemed to contain a mountain of pork and I spent the first half of the morning cubing a shoulder joint for future casseroles. I also seemed to have bought a pig with two heads so the next job was to remove the cheeks and start another batch of Guanciale. Having finished that I was left looking at a huge pile of bones so the final task of the morning was to roast the bones and then drag out the Jam Kettle and some vegetables to make a cauldron of pork stock.
It was close to midday by the time 30% returned from dropping TP off in Redditch and a tour of various grocery stores. We lunched together and I then took T&M out for a walk whilst she attempted to clear the decks.
Saturday's DIY task was to cut and fix the oak quadrant around the hearth stone in the Dining Room. It sounds straightforward but nothing in the Dining Room is either square or level so each piece had to be planed to ensure it didn't sit "proud" towards the back of the stone. There is no such thing as a five minute job at The Pile.
Having finished that I actually took a few minutes to just do nothing before I was careering around the lanes of the Vale of Evesham taking TP and friend; Nathan to a party. I hurried home for 30%'s Lamb Pilaf which went down well with Pinky who had joined us for supper and an evening of chat.
Friday, 16 November 2012
Chuck it and run
Today is the day on which our Proposal needs to be polished completed and delivered to the client. I would like to say that this was just a simple matter of hitting a spell check button and then saving and sending but this has been a disorganised activity from the very first day and the two hour review call of our Proposal document suggested that our American Leaders really needed another couple of days to get their act together. The call also demonstrated that whatever our reservations are here in Europe the Americans were going to do their usual trick of just saying "yes" to everything. This opportunity has one of two possible destinations; nowhere or a complete new world of pain.
Theoretically I will be rid of it in two weeks time once we have presented our Proposal to the Client but I have a nagging doubt ...
... a couple of days back I mentioned that our Sales team have run out of budget and, as a result, I will need to be redeployed to other opportunities. Well, as I have already dipped my toes in to this one, I could find my escape a little more difficult than I expect it to be.
The working day was not particularly arduous. The most significant task was obtaining a couple of approvals from two very Senior Daemons. A carefully crafted email with reassuring phrasing took care of that and the rest of the day was spent tying up loose ends or listening to bullshitting Americans who clearly know not what they are doing.
At five o'clock sharp I closed down the laptop and headed out to pick up half a pig from Kathy H-R. This had to be hastily sorted and packed for the freezer as this evening we are out to see Alan Davies' Life is Hell tour at Warwick Arts Centre.
Expect a brief review and tales of butchery tomorrow.
Theoretically I will be rid of it in two weeks time once we have presented our Proposal to the Client but I have a nagging doubt ...
... a couple of days back I mentioned that our Sales team have run out of budget and, as a result, I will need to be redeployed to other opportunities. Well, as I have already dipped my toes in to this one, I could find my escape a little more difficult than I expect it to be.
The working day was not particularly arduous. The most significant task was obtaining a couple of approvals from two very Senior Daemons. A carefully crafted email with reassuring phrasing took care of that and the rest of the day was spent tying up loose ends or listening to bullshitting Americans who clearly know not what they are doing.
At five o'clock sharp I closed down the laptop and headed out to pick up half a pig from Kathy H-R. This had to be hastily sorted and packed for the freezer as this evening we are out to see Alan Davies' Life is Hell tour at Warwick Arts Centre.
Expect a brief review and tales of butchery tomorrow.
Thursday, 15 November 2012
Jumping Through Hoops
Today we have the final reviews that need to be passed before we can issue our Proposal and price to the client. The reviews are focused on the price and financials so much of the day has been spent answering questions asked by the Pricer and Sales Executive. In all honesty this is not an arduous task, I just need to be available and provide support and guidance where necessary. The same is true of the reviews, a couple of minutes are allocated for me to give a brief overview of the approved solution before I say "any questions", pause briefly and then hand over to the next Presenter.
The reviews went well considering that the profit is not as high as we would like and there were plenty of "we will have to fix that in the next round" type comments as the Approvals were sort of given. I say "sort of" as it was apparent that there was a huge amount of uncertainty over who could actually approve the release. The summation was therefore that the Proposal sort of looked OK ish but someone needed to go away and talk to a few Senior Daemons and hopefully one of them would have the appropriate trident of Power and would be willing to roar "APPROVED, RELEASE".
Is it me or does this look half-arsed?
I checked my in-box later in the evening and it looks like I too have fallen foul of the lack of clarity on the necessary approvals and will have to chase a couple of Executives first thing tomorrow morning.
Away from work I have finally managed to get the Dining Room refurbishment moving again and found time to cut and mount the cornice on the cupboard in the few spare moments today.
The reviews went well considering that the profit is not as high as we would like and there were plenty of "we will have to fix that in the next round" type comments as the Approvals were sort of given. I say "sort of" as it was apparent that there was a huge amount of uncertainty over who could actually approve the release. The summation was therefore that the Proposal sort of looked OK ish but someone needed to go away and talk to a few Senior Daemons and hopefully one of them would have the appropriate trident of Power and would be willing to roar "APPROVED, RELEASE".
Is it me or does this look half-arsed?
I checked my in-box later in the evening and it looks like I too have fallen foul of the lack of clarity on the necessary approvals and will have to chase a couple of Executives first thing tomorrow morning.
Away from work I have finally managed to get the Dining Room refurbishment moving again and found time to cut and mount the cornice on the cupboard in the few spare moments today.
Wednesday, 14 November 2012
Interesting Times ?
Today was taken at a much more leisurely pace and, to be quite honest, I had a really easy time. A status report was knocked up and presented, a few calls were attended and opinions/facts given and arrangements were made to get approval to spend a week up in London at the end of the month. All in all it was a much needed lull after the preceding few stormy weeks.
At one point in the day IM called for a chat. He asked how things were going and to be honest whenever IM asks for a chat that is my first thought too; Where is this going? ...
... To cut a long story short it appears that the Sales Team have run out of budget and are no longer able to afford, and therefore procure, our services. As a result I am to continue working on my current project to the end of the month and then disengage. Other colleagues are in a similar position and there is a high degree of uncertainty over what we will be doing in to the new year, and perhaps beyond. IM listed a few possibilities which ranged from the impossible (work as a Subject Matter Idiot*) to the most undesirable (work within an Account Team in a similar but lesser role**).
Hopefully there will be a supporting role on some of the other projects that are running but the realist in me knows that they are under similar budgetary constraints and are cutting costs too. I know it could be far worse as my job is secure and this is a classic "funny money" situation that is a result of internal accounting and cost pools procedures.
Fundamentally it looks like Dante's are about to redeploy me away from working on new business opportunities. The main reason behind this is because our rather Psychopathic SalesDirector Daemon has spunked most of his budget*** by insisting that many of my colleagues spend all week in the most expensive city in the UK rather than working from their nearest Circles of Hell where they don't accrue a thousand pounds per week of travel and hotel expenses.
As is says at the top of the page, I appear to be living in Interesting Times but I am guessing that they are nowhere near as interesting as those of the Directors I work under.
** I have played that game before and left it two years ago to take on my current role. I have no desire to go back to it.
*** it has also been slashed in the final quarter of the year. One wonders if that is because he has failed to win much in the current year.
At one point in the day IM called for a chat. He asked how things were going and to be honest whenever IM asks for a chat that is my first thought too; Where is this going? ...
... To cut a long story short it appears that the Sales Team have run out of budget and are no longer able to afford, and therefore procure, our services. As a result I am to continue working on my current project to the end of the month and then disengage. Other colleagues are in a similar position and there is a high degree of uncertainty over what we will be doing in to the new year, and perhaps beyond. IM listed a few possibilities which ranged from the impossible (work as a Subject Matter Idiot*) to the most undesirable (work within an Account Team in a similar but lesser role**).
Hopefully there will be a supporting role on some of the other projects that are running but the realist in me knows that they are under similar budgetary constraints and are cutting costs too. I know it could be far worse as my job is secure and this is a classic "funny money" situation that is a result of internal accounting and cost pools procedures.
Fundamentally it looks like Dante's are about to redeploy me away from working on new business opportunities. The main reason behind this is because our rather Psychopathic Sales
As is says at the top of the page, I appear to be living in Interesting Times but I am guessing that they are nowhere near as interesting as those of the Directors I work under.
---
* I come from a Contract and Project Management background rather than a Technical discipline and consequently am most unsuited to this activity** I have played that game before and left it two years ago to take on my current role. I have no desire to go back to it.
*** it has also been slashed in the final quarter of the year. One wonders if that is because he has failed to win much in the current year.
Tuesday, 13 November 2012
Planning my escape
I woke early and took advantage of this to get ahead in the game…
… I had originally been asked to spend three days in London
this week, however yesterday it had been agreed that I could return home today but I had a
couple of hefty deliverables to produce first. I was therefore showered and
checked out by quarter past six and was walking in to the Office at quarter to seven in the morning.
Today was much like yesterday; the same faces in the same
war room chewing over the same “facts”. The light relief over the past two days
has been provided by a colleague who I have worked with on several occasions
but have never met before yesterday. She shares a similar view to me on the
state of this project and we have a common interest outside work in that we
both own Standard Poodles we therefore provided moral support and doggy
diversions to each other on what is a really shitty deal on an Account that
appears to be staffed by complete incompetents.
The main decision of any value today was that we will
recommend that this deal be progressed by the Account Team should future work
be required after the current round of fun. This will come as a bit of a shock
to the Account Team as they think we are in this for the long journey but there
is little, if any, profit to be had and a huge amount of hassle and pain making
any progress, Fundamentally this can be summed up by the following thought
directed at the Account Exec; “ If you don’t like what I have done why don’t
you just fuck right off and do it yourself? Oh, I forgot, you don’t actually
have the ability do you!”
I made my escape from the Office shortly after five o'clock and made the six twenty two back towards Evesham. 30% picked me up from the station and by nine o'clock I was getting myself on the outside of a home made beef curry and a glass of red ...
... Simple pleasures after two very long days.
Monday, 12 November 2012
Some Things Never Change
Monday started early as I needed to be down in London for a couple of
days to tie up some of the many loose ends that are left after the rushed job
of knocking up the latest project.
30% kindly ran me in to Evesham for the ten to seven train
and by nine forty five I was walking through the revolving doors of one of the
London Circles of Hell. It was a long day stuck in a war room poring
over the project costs. I have to be honest and say much of the activity was a
complete waste of time as the number at the end of the day was incredibly
similar to the one we started with. Fundamentally, for every estimate that we
found was too high we found another that was too low or missed and the numbers
wavered around the same point all day long. The only benefit to this exercise
was that the Sales Executive now has a clearer understanding of the numbers and
can no longer moan at me to “scrub cost”.
I eventually made my escape a little after seven and was
ensconced in a hotel in Swiss Cottage a little before eight. I spent the
evening in the company of a fine band of fellow Daemons who also use this watering
hole and dinner, drinks and war stories were shared before I retired for a
fairly early night.
The main irritation of the day was not the cost scrubbing exercise but the call I received while I was sat in Standard Class somewhere in the vicinity of Reading. "Hello bad man" went the call, "Can you let me have the address of the circle of Hell as I have never been there before". I was a little indignant at getting this request as a) I know where the Office is but don't actually know the address, I just leave Southwark Tube Station and walk there and b) I'm not the meeting arranger, just some poor sucker that has been dragged from their pit way too early to tramp up to London. Cursing under my breath I Googled the address and sent it as a text message. Later in the day it transpired that the Requestor actually had a fucking smart phone and could have done all of this herself ...
... Lazy fucking cow!*
---
*If this was my first contact with this individual I might have been somewhat more forgiving but over the past few weeks I have found her to be one of the most lack lustre individuals I have ever encountered.
Sunday, 11 November 2012
Getting Back to Normal
As I have now got my arse in to gear and reopened the Journal I suppose I had better recount Sunday's activities ...
... The morning started like most Sundays with 30% dropping TP off at the Rugby Club whilst I walked T&M around the Three Miler. The walk takes about an hour which gave me sufficient time to grab a quick cup of coffee and a change of clothes before we returned to the club for the eleven o'clock kick off. After last week's fantastic game we were hoping for great things but unfortunately this was not to be.
... The morning started like most Sundays with 30% dropping TP off at the Rugby Club whilst I walked T&M around the Three Miler. The walk takes about an hour which gave me sufficient time to grab a quick cup of coffee and a change of clothes before we returned to the club for the eleven o'clock kick off. After last week's fantastic game we were hoping for great things but unfortunately this was not to be.
After the match Sunday panned out pretty much as expected.
It was busier than I had hoped but a lot better than the previous weekend which
I had spent chained to the laptop. After lunch we popped over to see Bad Man
Senior and Step Mum Sue. This was one of those multipurpose visits that included
the giving of Birthday presents to TP, the drinking of tea and exchange of
gossip and the need to provide some muscle as BMS had decided that one of his
garden ornaments needed to be moved for aesthetic purposes. Unfortunately the
ornament was not a lightweight Gnome but a many hundred pound staddle stone.*
TP and I managed to heft the monster to it’s new home and it now sits in clear
view of the house.
Once back home TP and I scurried off to the garage as he needed
some assistance with his Resistant Materials Project. He plans to make an
electric Ukulele and the body will be made from a piece of salvaged teak. This
was way over size so we spent a good while running it through the Planer
Thicknesser to get to the right thickness.
Having completed that I then spent less time that I really
should have filling in a template describing my achievements over the past
twelve months. This is the nightmare that is Dante’s staff appraisal process
and I did a quick and dirty job working on the assumption that if they have
promoted me they must think that my performance over the past year must have
been reasonably up to scratch.
I was then finally able to wander in to the Dining Room and potter.
I spent a happy couple of hours finishing off the skirting boards and fixing
the upper frame of the cupboard in to place. Next on the list is to finish off
the trim around the hearth stone and complete the heatproof concrete infill
behind the fire back.
It was lovely to have my life back after a hectic few weeks.
I know that the next two or three will also be busy but nothing like the past
fortnight.
---
* a large, two piece stone “mushroom”. Many years ago sever
of these would have been used as a base for hay ricks. They lift the rick off
the ground away form the damp and the mushroom shape of the staddle stone
prevents rats and mice form gaining access to the rick.
The Missing Fortnight
I would have liked to have used the title "I aint dead yet" but, I have already done so twenty four hours after sampling my first attempt at air dried ham. Unlike Scobi I do try for a modicum of originality in my Journal titles so I am left with the very accurate header I have scrawled at the top today
The main reason for my lack of diaristic output has been work which has been incredibly busy. On the occasions that I have managed to step away from the laptop the last thing I have wanted to do was think or type so I have either been walking the dogs or watching television. 30% summed things up quite nicely the other evening when she said "we shouldn't have to work so hard at our age".
Fundamentally, the latest project can be summed up with the old adage "you cant fit a quart in a pint pot". Basically I have been asked to complete a set task and have been given nowhere near the required amount of time to do it and to make matters worse I have been allocated insufficient Subject Matter Idiots to do the job. One can then add in a Salesman that refuses to acknowledge reality and an Account Team that add huge costs in to my solution with one hand and then beat me with the other for being way too expensive. There is a phrase that sums them all up quite nicely and that phrase is ...
... What a bunch of [insert suitable expletive here]*
By Luck I have managed to pull the various strands together and get them through Dante's arduous review process and this weekend I point blank refused to do any further work on the damned thing after spending most of the last one pulling together death by PowerPoint for the final review that took place on Friday 9th November.
I have therefore managed to get back to some degree of normality which was lucky as yesterday was TP's sixteenth birthday and we celebrated with some fine dining at the Bridge in Bidford-on-Avon.
To be honest, apart from work, very little else has been completed. I managed to extract the most recent leg of pork from the salt and that is now hanging in the garage and on the DIY front my brand new Morticer has sat on the work bench waiting to be set up since arriving ten days ago. I did manage to get the Fire Surround screwed to the wall yesterday and the final two lengths of skirting were also fixed in place. I also watched TP play rugby last Sunday where his team put in a cracking performance and came away with a one point victory after playing a fantastic match. TP had a great game playing at inside centre and managed to put one over the line in a game that went to the wire with a penalty in the last few minutes giving his team the win.
There is another match today and I am afraid I will have to sit at the laptop again his afternoon to type up my performance appraisal notes as they are officially overdue!
Bugger!
The main reason for my lack of diaristic output has been work which has been incredibly busy. On the occasions that I have managed to step away from the laptop the last thing I have wanted to do was think or type so I have either been walking the dogs or watching television. 30% summed things up quite nicely the other evening when she said "we shouldn't have to work so hard at our age".
Fundamentally, the latest project can be summed up with the old adage "you cant fit a quart in a pint pot". Basically I have been asked to complete a set task and have been given nowhere near the required amount of time to do it and to make matters worse I have been allocated insufficient Subject Matter Idiots to do the job. One can then add in a Salesman that refuses to acknowledge reality and an Account Team that add huge costs in to my solution with one hand and then beat me with the other for being way too expensive. There is a phrase that sums them all up quite nicely and that phrase is ...
... What a bunch of [insert suitable expletive here]*
By Luck I have managed to pull the various strands together and get them through Dante's arduous review process and this weekend I point blank refused to do any further work on the damned thing after spending most of the last one pulling together death by PowerPoint for the final review that took place on Friday 9th November.
I have therefore managed to get back to some degree of normality which was lucky as yesterday was TP's sixteenth birthday and we celebrated with some fine dining at the Bridge in Bidford-on-Avon.
To be honest, apart from work, very little else has been completed. I managed to extract the most recent leg of pork from the salt and that is now hanging in the garage and on the DIY front my brand new Morticer has sat on the work bench waiting to be set up since arriving ten days ago. I did manage to get the Fire Surround screwed to the wall yesterday and the final two lengths of skirting were also fixed in place. I also watched TP play rugby last Sunday where his team put in a cracking performance and came away with a one point victory after playing a fantastic match. TP had a great game playing at inside centre and managed to put one over the line in a game that went to the wire with a penalty in the last few minutes giving his team the win.
There is another match today and I am afraid I will have to sit at the laptop again his afternoon to type up my performance appraisal notes as they are officially overdue!
Bugger!
---
* I'd go with "cunts" every time.
Saturday, 27 October 2012
The Missing Week *
It is half past seven in the morning. The house is quiet and I have a few minutes sat in front of the laptop when I know with absolute certainty that a) no-one or thing should take priority over writing this Journal entry and b) I don't have to sit here if I don't want to.
It is fair to say that the past week has been hectic on the work front and I am using the prehistoric excuse that after a day at work the last thing I wanted to do was spend further time pecking at a keyboard to fill the Journal with tedium.
Let's try to get work out of the way first. The current project has ludicrously tight timescales and there is the usual problem of getting Dante's to provide the right sort of Imps and Daemons to work on it. To make matters worse, my project is not likely to come to fruition until next year and the current "focus" is on projects that will sign before the end of this year. Personally I'm not sure that this is the right way of doing things as every deal has a certain likelihood of getting a client signature and it would make more sense to staff a certainty for early 2013 that a dying duck at the end of 2012. I'm not saying that my project is a "cert" but we have an established relationship with the client, are already delivering the services and there is no other competitor involved. It is, as they say "ours to loose" or as it appears at the moment "ours to totally fuck up".
The main issues of the week were that the client requirements failed to appear but the delivery date for our response was not shifted. This was leading towards the nonsensical situation where we just get nine women involved and then we can produce the baby in a month**. Late in the week I finally called out to IM that there was no way I could commit to the delivery dates for this project taking in to account the lack of information and resources combined with a weak Sales Team and unnecessary Executive reviews. This finally got the Management focus that is needed and hopefully some expectations have been re-set.
I don't feel any more in control but at least I know that I am now able to go further up the food chain than IM if I need support or assistance over the next couple of weeks.
Away from work I have made limited but steady progress in the Dining Room. The cupboard in the alcove is now definitely cupboardy rather than "a pile of timber on the floor" although I still have a frame section to build and I am studiously avoiding thinking about the doors at the moment. I managed to put on the skirting boards behind the radiators which meant that I could finally call Paul the Plumber and get the heating put back on in the room. He was a Star and called round the same day and only charged a "cuppa" for the job. Chippy Ian also called around on Thursday evening and we installed the cast iron fire back. There was much faffing around with vermiculite, heat proof silicone and fire cement but it went in reasonably easily and all I need to do now is screw the oak surround to the wall and apply a little more fire cement in the cavity behind the fire back.
This weekend I really have to do some work but I am hoping to at least get the skirting boards routed and the shelving finished in the alcove.
On the entertainment front there were a few events too. We saw Greg Davis last Friday which was a reasonable stand up gig and definitely got a 7.5 out of 10. On Saturday we popped over to a local pub to see the Worzels. If you are under 40 or from another country this is going to make absolutely no sense whatsoever so apologies in advance ... I think it fair to say that the novelty of a geriatric, accordion based "oompah" band performing West Country versions of well known tunes soon wore off and I could have quite gladly left by song#3. Unfortunate we had to stay until after eleven o'clock as "I got a brand new combine harvester" was the encore number .... Bastards! We also nipped over to Bromsgrove to see Mark Thomas' stand up show Bravo Figaro. The first half of the gig was based around his People's Manifesto tour and radia show but the was a complete change in tack after the interval. The second half was a performance about his father, his father's love of opera, his father's debilitating illness and an English National Opera performance in a bungalow in Bournemouth. It was very funny and very touching and well worth seeing.
So that just about covers the missing week. The next two are going to be quite similar. Oh Joy!
** see previous paragraph regarding resource availability !
It is fair to say that the past week has been hectic on the work front and I am using the prehistoric excuse that after a day at work the last thing I wanted to do was spend further time pecking at a keyboard to fill the Journal with tedium.
Let's try to get work out of the way first. The current project has ludicrously tight timescales and there is the usual problem of getting Dante's to provide the right sort of Imps and Daemons to work on it. To make matters worse, my project is not likely to come to fruition until next year and the current "focus" is on projects that will sign before the end of this year. Personally I'm not sure that this is the right way of doing things as every deal has a certain likelihood of getting a client signature and it would make more sense to staff a certainty for early 2013 that a dying duck at the end of 2012. I'm not saying that my project is a "cert" but we have an established relationship with the client, are already delivering the services and there is no other competitor involved. It is, as they say "ours to loose" or as it appears at the moment "ours to totally fuck up".
The main issues of the week were that the client requirements failed to appear but the delivery date for our response was not shifted. This was leading towards the nonsensical situation where we just get nine women involved and then we can produce the baby in a month**. Late in the week I finally called out to IM that there was no way I could commit to the delivery dates for this project taking in to account the lack of information and resources combined with a weak Sales Team and unnecessary Executive reviews. This finally got the Management focus that is needed and hopefully some expectations have been re-set.
I don't feel any more in control but at least I know that I am now able to go further up the food chain than IM if I need support or assistance over the next couple of weeks.
Away from work I have made limited but steady progress in the Dining Room. The cupboard in the alcove is now definitely cupboardy rather than "a pile of timber on the floor" although I still have a frame section to build and I am studiously avoiding thinking about the doors at the moment. I managed to put on the skirting boards behind the radiators which meant that I could finally call Paul the Plumber and get the heating put back on in the room. He was a Star and called round the same day and only charged a "cuppa" for the job. Chippy Ian also called around on Thursday evening and we installed the cast iron fire back. There was much faffing around with vermiculite, heat proof silicone and fire cement but it went in reasonably easily and all I need to do now is screw the oak surround to the wall and apply a little more fire cement in the cavity behind the fire back.
This weekend I really have to do some work but I am hoping to at least get the skirting boards routed and the shelving finished in the alcove.
On the entertainment front there were a few events too. We saw Greg Davis last Friday which was a reasonable stand up gig and definitely got a 7.5 out of 10. On Saturday we popped over to a local pub to see the Worzels. If you are under 40 or from another country this is going to make absolutely no sense whatsoever so apologies in advance ... I think it fair to say that the novelty of a geriatric, accordion based "oompah" band performing West Country versions of well known tunes soon wore off and I could have quite gladly left by song#3. Unfortunate we had to stay until after eleven o'clock as "I got a brand new combine harvester" was the encore number .... Bastards! We also nipped over to Bromsgrove to see Mark Thomas' stand up show Bravo Figaro. The first half of the gig was based around his People's Manifesto tour and radia show but the was a complete change in tack after the interval. The second half was a performance about his father, his father's love of opera, his father's debilitating illness and an English National Opera performance in a bungalow in Bournemouth. It was very funny and very touching and well worth seeing.
So that just about covers the missing week. The next two are going to be quite similar. Oh Joy!
---
* or, What the Fuck have I been up to ** see previous paragraph regarding resource availability !
Friday, 19 October 2012
Remind me, why do I do this job?
The past two weeks have been quite intense. Firstly there was the Promotion Board I had to face and in addition to that there has been the mounting pressure of the latest Project. As usual it has crazy timescales and Dante's was true to form with it's inability to provide named resources to do the work until the last minute.* This lack of resourcing was causing me major concerns because I literally had three days to do a job that should normally take four weeks. I was rapidly thinking that I was heading for failure or delivering a complete piece of shit at best...
... late in the morning a metaphorical glimmer of sunlight pierced the dark clouds. I was forwarded an e-mail that indicated that we have been given an extra eleven days which means I now have a week to do the bulk of my work.
Looks like the "complete piece of shit" now stands a better chance of being delivered then.
** and apparently I should think myself luck that I got them
... late in the morning a metaphorical glimmer of sunlight pierced the dark clouds. I was forwarded an e-mail that indicated that we have been given an extra eleven days which means I now have a week to do the bulk of my work.
Looks like the "complete piece of shit" now stands a better chance of being delivered then.
---
* or, as is becoming more frequent, until two or three days after they due to start **** and apparently I should think myself luck that I got them
Wednesday, 17 October 2012
The Jury returns
For the past few weeks I have been wittering on about the drafting of documentation and the development of a presentation. I intentionally avoided commenting on the purpose of these two items because if it all went horribly wrong I could simply move on and not have to be reminded of it. Fortunately my cynical foresight was way off the mark and my twenty eight pages of career history, references and delivery of the presentation were not the train wrecks that I thought.*
After a couple of days of "normalisation" activities the more Senior Daemons at Dante's Nine Circles of Hell have deemed that I am to be promoted. It appears that I am now worthy of the title Daemon - 3rd Class (Solutions).
After a couple of days of "normalisation" activities the more Senior Daemons at Dante's Nine Circles of Hell have deemed that I am to be promoted. It appears that I am now worthy of the title Daemon - 3rd Class (Solutions).
---
* there is still work to do on Presentation Technique though
Tuesday, 16 October 2012
Busy ? Yes, Productive? Good Question.
Today started with a Murder Scene. As I wandered across the lawn to let out the chickens I noticed a suspicious scattering of black and white feathers ... for the past few weeks one of the old hens has taken to jumping the fence of the run and spending her days in the garden. It was apparent that she had not returned to the coop last night and had become supper for the Fox. Having checked for signs of ingress to the runs or coops it was time to start work.
The working day is best described as "non-stop without a huge amount of progress". I am in the deeply frustrating stage of a project where there are preliminary activities that need to be completed but we are still waiting for a set of requirements against which we can develop our solution. To make this even more complicated the Client is, shall we say muddled, and is starting to request a variety of ill defined options in timescales that are not feasible. I have alerted the appropriate Management to this situation and it appears that their role is to ignore these alerts!
Most of the working day was spent herding the Account Team to provide us with information that only they can provide, but seem somewhat unwilling to deliver. I set up a call and knocked up a quick spread sheet that clearly summarised the lack of progress on theirpiecemeal half arsed approach. I thought the red, amber and green colour coding was a nice touch as I ran the call like a Dictator with a gun sat on the table in front of him. Funnily enough the "not taking no for an answer" approach seemed to work and we now have a clear set of activities to progress with.
I then had to take a break from work and take TP in for a Dental Check Up. I could have really done without this diversion so was not best impressed when the Dentist said "Why are you here. He is not due for a check up for another month". I pointed out that I had responded to a letter from the Practice inviting me to make an appointment and I had assumed that he was either overdue or there was finally some contact from the Birmingham Dental Hospital about his root canal treatment. There had been no contact from Birmingham so she had a quick root around his mouth for the show of things and commanded the Nurse to chase up Birmingham for his treatment plan.
Back at home it was another half an hour of calls before an evening wander with T&M around the Three Miler we walked back in through the door moments before 30% and we quickly summarised our working days before I was back at the laptop again. This was another brief session before I was required to drop TP over at the Rugby Club for practice. Back at home I finally got the meeting set up and then sat down for supper.
It would be nice to say that my day was now over but TP had to be collected at eight thirty and it was nine o'clock before I finally finished for the day.
The working day is best described as "non-stop without a huge amount of progress". I am in the deeply frustrating stage of a project where there are preliminary activities that need to be completed but we are still waiting for a set of requirements against which we can develop our solution. To make this even more complicated the Client is, shall we say muddled, and is starting to request a variety of ill defined options in timescales that are not feasible. I have alerted the appropriate Management to this situation and it appears that their role is to ignore these alerts!
Most of the working day was spent herding the Account Team to provide us with information that only they can provide, but seem somewhat unwilling to deliver. I set up a call and knocked up a quick spread sheet that clearly summarised the lack of progress on their
I then had to take a break from work and take TP in for a Dental Check Up. I could have really done without this diversion so was not best impressed when the Dentist said "Why are you here. He is not due for a check up for another month". I pointed out that I had responded to a letter from the Practice inviting me to make an appointment and I had assumed that he was either overdue or there was finally some contact from the Birmingham Dental Hospital about his root canal treatment. There had been no contact from Birmingham so she had a quick root around his mouth for the show of things and commanded the Nurse to chase up Birmingham for his treatment plan.
Back at home it was another half an hour of calls before an evening wander with T&M around the Three Miler we walked back in through the door moments before 30% and we quickly summarised our working days before I was back at the laptop again. This was another brief session before I was required to drop TP over at the Rugby Club for practice. Back at home I finally got the meeting set up and then sat down for supper.
It would be nice to say that my day was now over but TP had to be collected at eight thirty and it was nine o'clock before I finally finished for the day.
Monday, 15 October 2012
The Jury is out
The day I have been preparing for over the past three weeks finally arrived. I had a ten thirty slot so it was a leisurely start to the day with ample time for ablutions and picking the perfect tie to go with both shirt and jacket. I most definitely had a case of butterflies so ended up in the Office early and spent the best part of an hour wandering around drinking coffee and annoying colleagues.
As half past ten drew close I wandered over to the venue and waited to be called in. Whilst waiting I finally thumbed through my slides and made mental notes which, like the butterflies in my stomach fluttered and I wondered if I would ever be able to recall these salient facts. I also wondered if I had enough material to fill the forty minute slot ...
... time for tactic #1; invite them to ask questions during the Presentation thereby getting the audience to both contribute to the material and to ensure the material gives them the information they require. My time arrived and I was ushered in to the room. I briefly wondered if I was in the wrong place as there was a panel of eight people there, a good few more than I was expecting. After a round of introductions I stepped up to the speakers position, paused and internally panicked as my opening line fluttered from my brain ... FUCK! ... I grabbed my metaphorical butterfly net, caught the little bastard, pinned him down and off I set.
I rambled through my slides, answering questions along the way and was very surprised to be told that I was only five minutes from home with a slide and a half still to present. I upped my pace slightly, finished and took a fairly gentle selection of questions from the panel. IM then escorted me from the room advising that I had done a really good job ...
... WE SHALL SEE!
He added that he hoped to be able to provide feedback later on in the day so I hung around waiting for this. I have to be honest, I couldn't really focus on my project work after this morning's session so it was a day of just waiting.
At a little after three I was stuck on a conference call when IM sent an instant message advising that he would not have time to talk later and that he would catch me tomorrow. I then went in to a round of futile analysis on this turn of events; is that a good, thing? if it was good news wouldn't he just ping me? is pinging good news good or bad etiquette?
This is one of those days when I really would have rather heard nothing instead of "I'll tell you tomorrow". I now look forward to an evening of recalling and internally cringing over the worst elements of my presentation whilst managing to forget every part that was pure genius.
Such is the life of a hopeful pessimist.
As half past ten drew close I wandered over to the venue and waited to be called in. Whilst waiting I finally thumbed through my slides and made mental notes which, like the butterflies in my stomach fluttered and I wondered if I would ever be able to recall these salient facts. I also wondered if I had enough material to fill the forty minute slot ...
... time for tactic #1; invite them to ask questions during the Presentation thereby getting the audience to both contribute to the material and to ensure the material gives them the information they require. My time arrived and I was ushered in to the room. I briefly wondered if I was in the wrong place as there was a panel of eight people there, a good few more than I was expecting. After a round of introductions I stepped up to the speakers position, paused and internally panicked as my opening line fluttered from my brain ... FUCK! ... I grabbed my metaphorical butterfly net, caught the little bastard, pinned him down and off I set.
I rambled through my slides, answering questions along the way and was very surprised to be told that I was only five minutes from home with a slide and a half still to present. I upped my pace slightly, finished and took a fairly gentle selection of questions from the panel. IM then escorted me from the room advising that I had done a really good job ...
... WE SHALL SEE!
He added that he hoped to be able to provide feedback later on in the day so I hung around waiting for this. I have to be honest, I couldn't really focus on my project work after this morning's session so it was a day of just waiting.
At a little after three I was stuck on a conference call when IM sent an instant message advising that he would not have time to talk later and that he would catch me tomorrow. I then went in to a round of futile analysis on this turn of events; is that a good, thing? if it was good news wouldn't he just ping me? is pinging good news good or bad etiquette?
This is one of those days when I really would have rather heard nothing instead of "I'll tell you tomorrow". I now look forward to an evening of recalling and internally cringing over the worst elements of my presentation whilst managing to forget every part that was pure genius.
Such is the life of a hopeful pessimist.
Sunday, 14 October 2012
Mostly Woodwork
Sunday’s agenda didn’t look much better than Saturday’s. I
was up and about fairly early and did my best to start the day gently with a
few cups of coffee. I knew that I was going to be busy for much of the day and the
hours before nine were going to be the only down time I was going to get today.
First task of the day was to “encourage” TP from his pit and
take him over to the Rugby Club for a practice session. I then took the dogs
out for a walk with the aim of leaving the rest of the day free from “have
to do” tasks.* I wandered back in to the house at half past eleven and
finally settled to the main project of the weekend …
… Our Dining Room is now looking splendid with its plastered
walls and freshly laid oak floor but there is still a lot to do and the first
job is to build a cupboard in to the alcove in the corner of the room. I have
sketched out a rough drawing that is based on a Victorian era design and spent
much of today building the face frame for the lower portion of the cupboard. It
might seem that more than half a day to knock up a face frame is a little
excessive but it is constructed from 4” x 2” timber and is mortised and tenoned
at each corner. It was therefore quite time consuming to cut and fit the four
joints plus a rebated cross piece. It was a little before seven o’clock before
I tightened up the last sash cramp and wiped the dribbles of PVA from the
frame.
I am pleased with both the frame and the amount of progress
as I need to get this fixed in place so that the skirting boards can be
installed. I can then get the radiators connected back up and the heating back
on in the room.
Monday is the big day when I will be delivering the presentation
that I have been labouring over for the past couple of weeks. This weekend I
have managed to avoid doing anything more than printing out my slides** and I’m
not sure whether keeping myself busy on domestic activities was the right thing
to do or not.
I’ll find out tomorrow I guess!
---
* I forgot about the pig’s cheeks in the fridge and missed
their daily rub in cure mixture
** I’m a strong believer in not over preparing***
*** I am also a procrastinating bullshitter.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
