Not in the mood

Yep, that just about sums up today. I just wasn't in the right frame of mind for anything. Now, don't get me wrong. I had a busy and productive day with a number of projects nudged forward but all with a significant lack of grace on my part. I don't know whether it was the weather or a reluctance to sort out a colleague's problems but throughout the day I wanted to be anywhere but sat at the desk working.

The day ended with a wander around the Three Miler and I can report that the weather was incredibly warm. Both T&M were panting like the little engine that could as we walked the final mile back in to the Village and home. The walk and the end of the working day produced a somewhat sunnier disposition and 30% and I had a pleasant evening in front of the TV before retiring to bed.

Normally a Journal entry would end just about now but tonight there was an incredible storm and we were woken by T&M barking at the thunder. They then decided that they needed to be as close to 30% and me as possible and leapt up on to the bed, huddling close beside us. 30% reported that the lightening flashes were incredible but I must admit that I kept my eyes closed, threw an arm across the nearest dog and fell back to sleep.

It has been a busy week.

I don't remember reading this in the job spec

As mentioned yesterday I am charging through this week at an incredible rate of knots on account of having my own workload plus that of a slacker colleague who is taking a three week holiday.

Today I needed to make some updates in a rather complicated workflow tool. I was somewhat apprehensive as I had only attended three disjointed hand over sessions, none of which had given me a great sense of confidence. So, as soon as I had cleared the crop of overnight email, I girded my loins, located the relevant notes and made a start in this tool. The first set of changes went well and I was quietly confident of success. The final change didn't look quite right and I wondered if I should have taken an alternative approach.* I saved my work and then went to the screen where I should initiate the next step in the in the process and was presented with a single button … The button I was told never to press!

Hmmm! After a few minutes of cursing my colleague, re-evalauation of the training he had given me plus wondering what the hell a Technical Solution Manager was doing plugging configuration changes in to a workflow management tool I aborted this activity and searched his notes for salvation. I found it in the form of a young lady in Atlanta who was more than happy to take part in a screen sharing session and walk me through the changes.

On a positive note, I had correctly determined how the config changes should be entered and the reason for my encounter with The Button That Shall NEVER Be Pressed was due to a record ownership issue rather than my mistake. I now hate the tool more than I did yesterday but am slightly less afraid of it.

The end of the working day soon came around and I headed out around the Three Miler before the forecast evening showers.

This evening saw the end of the last of the current crop of eBay auctions and  in a flurry of last minute bidding the closing price more than doubled on a set of Land Rover wheel rims and tyres. I will not be able to retire on my eBay earnings but I have got rid of some bulky items from the garage and cellar and now have a two hundred and fifty quid credit in my PayPal account.

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* As someone who worked in workflow management and application design more than twenty years ago it says volumes about this tool when the User can consider an alternative approach. This indicates that the Business rules, validation, error and warning messages are not accurately represented …

… or, to put it another way; it is shite!

Keeping Busy

If this week carries on at this rate I am going to be reaching Friday in no time at all.

It is fair to say that managing my own workload and that of a colleague is certainly keeping me busy and five o'clock soon chimed, signalling the end of a full day. It wasn't non-stop and I did find time to step away from the laptop during the day to provide some assistance to Paul the Plumber.

PtP had finally found time in his busy schedule to hang and connect the new radiator in the Hall. So, from time to time, I was required to locate certain items, assess the positioning of the rad and assist with the refilling of the system. He finished shortly after mid day and this is the penultimate job that needs to be performed on The Pile's heating system. Over the past few years he has either temporarily removed or replaced the rads as we have refurbished the rooms in the older part of the house. This has meant that the system has been flushed numerous times and his final job will be to return in a few weeks and add an inhibiting compound to the system to prevent corrosion or blockages. Mind you, there is more to plumbing than heating systems and last year's leaking pipes demonstrated the ability of an old house to spring surprises on you ... and the convenience of having a friend in the trade.

With the working day over I headed out around the Three Miler and returned to slouch before eating dinner on the sofa with 30%.

TP is now, presumably, safely arrived in Italy with his Mum and family although early this morning I did get a call from school to ask where he was. This worried me as I had been reassured that his Mother had sought permission to take him out of school for the last week of term. I pointed out that he was swanning around Northern Italy with his Mother and the school secretary seemed quite unconcerned about this, suggesting that there had been a communications cock up somewhere in the school!

I bloody hope so as I do not plan to get dragged in to the repercussions of an unauthorised school absence.

Lulled in to a false sense of security

It all sounded so easy when I participated in a series of hand-over sessions over the last couple of weeks. These gave me the impression that everything in the garden was wonderful, nothing really would happen and that I just had a few simple actions to complete over the next three weeks.

Well that was complete fucking bollocks wasn't it!

I must have developed an incredible reputation during my first nine months as a Piano Mover because contacts, unknown to me, seem to think that I have super powers that encompass mind reading and the ability to travel back in time to attend meetings that occurred bloody weeks ago.

Basically they have received an out of office message from my colleague and have then simply added me to the email distribution lists. At no point have they thought "What do I need to do to bring this chap up to speed?" or even "How can I summarise this so that my requirements are clear and concise?". They have simply carried on ping ponging mails to one another leaving me to sift through the scant facts and attempt to work out what they wanted.

I tried sending them a mail asking for a clear problem statement and a summary of their requirements …

… they just ignored that and carried on with their email exchanges.

That is a bloody strange way of getting someone to provide assistance; by ignoring their requests for clarification. In the end I decided to set up a call to see whether they made any more sense in person. I doubt it but they are either going to play the game my way or I am going to take the ball home.

Just a thought

If you were a werewolf and were really, really fat … I mean super, morbidly, unable to get off the bed, obese … what would happen when the moon was full?

You are hardly going to instil terror and leave a trail of dismembered corpses if all you can do is growl, howl and roll around on your reinforced bed until the sun comes up.

One of the more tricky items on the "to do" list

I didn't have anything planned for today so Sunday was started at a leisurely pace. A short way in to the morning the 'phone rang and I headed off through the lanes to collect TP and tent from a overnighter hosted by a friend to celebrate the end of their school days. On the way back I offered him the command of the Range Rover and he leapt at the chance, describing it as massive but really easy to drive.

Back at The Pile I finally settled on something to do and headed out to the garage. It has been some while since I partially dismantled the Ducati* and I was getting concerned that she would get forgotten in my never ending list of projects. This morning I had decided that I would finally strip out and replace the holder for the rev counter and temperature gauge. The Haynes Manual gave this a three spanner difficulty rating which suggested that it should be within the capabilities of a competent home mechanic … Well, that's me fucked then!

After an hour the headlights were dangling, only supported by their power cables, as was the horn and the majority of the instrument cluster nuts had been removed. Only one bolt remained and there was no way I could undo it without a 10" extension bar for my 3/8 Socket Set …

… twenty minutes later I had drunk a cup of coffee and was being chauffeured in to Halfords by TP. A shiny extension bar was soon located and we headed back home in time for lunch. After eating I returned to the garage and removed the previously inaccessible nut. Then came the tricky job of disconnecting the instruments and swapping them from one cluster to another … An hour later the cluster was back on the bike and I was reconnecting the battery. I checked the lights and all were found to be working so I pressed the choke button and thumbed the starter. She fired up on the second push of the button and ran for the first time in ten months.

Unfortunately it was then time to put the tools away as the dogs needed a walk but this significant progress has restored my motivation and encouraged me to get her cleaned, reassembled and back on the road before the Summer turns to Autumn.

After walking the dogs TP drove me over to see SMS as it was her Birthday today. As we arrived I had a rare encounter with my elder sister and we exchanged polite "hellos" as she gathered up her husband and foster daughter and headed off home. We had a short but pleasant time with BMS and SMS and handed over gifts and caught up on our news before an impending Sunday Dinner forced us to leave.

Sunday evening progressed and two more eBay auctions ended. Late in the evening I had a pleasant conversation with Pete from Oldham who will be making use of his free train pass to come and collect a set of "Brand New Royal Enfield Crash Bars" in the next couple of days.

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* During the missing months I removed the fairing from the Ducati and had the scuffs in the paintwork rectified at a vehicle body shop over at Bidford on Avon. While she was naked I also set about replacing a few components that had been damaged over time. One of these was the instrument surround that had been gnawed by mice during the many years she had been off the road.

A fairly standard Saturday

After a wander down to the local Post Office to dispatch the first of my eBay sales, 30% and I headed off to the auction rooms in Littleton.  We stopped by the entrance to the site to stroke a Piebald Mare and her foal in the paddock and got chatting to an auction goer. Apparently the Auctioneers were linking up with an internet auction site today and had suffered delays. The sale had only just started and we would have to watch the best part of one hundred and sixty lots go through.

We wandered in to the Sale room. It was rammed with buyers and very warm. Within a few minutes we could see that the internet link up had really slowed down the rate at which the lots were being sold and had really pushed up the prices. It was most definitely a day to sell rather than a day to buy. After a couple of hours it was time for the pendulum wall clock and 30% started to bid. We went somewhat above our agreed limit and decided enough was enough as the bidding continued. It was lovely but there was no way we wanted spend that sort of money.

We left the auction slightly disappointed and headed in to Stratford to collect my new jacket,* followed by a fascinating hour in the supermarket, as the kitchen needed restocking after TP and my predations  over the past week.

It was close to two o'clock by the time we made it back to The Pile and my stomach thought my throat had been cut. A late lunch was taken and then I dragged the porn mower from the garage and tidied up the lawn. My intention had then been to take a ride out on one of the bikes, but a quick peek at my e-mail indicated that an eBay lot winner would be collecting their item in a short while. I was therefore forced to potter in the garage for an hour or so; sorting out items for the charity shop and sneaking** other items in to the bin or the pile for the Tip.

Wandering off at something of a tangent, I can also report that Tyson is overjoyed by England's piss poor performance in the World Cup. Their early departure has resulted in a glut of reduced price, England branded, football ephemera and here she is with her latest acquisition ...

That stitching will hold up about as well 

as the England Defence

As dinner time drew near I ran TP over to  a friend's party in a nearby village and returned home for a steak dinner and a glass of a rather fine Chianti followed by a couple of films on TV

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* a linen shirt caught my eye while I was there and found its way in to my bag too.
** 30% has a great reluctance to dispose of redundant items. We joke that she channels the spirit of her Grandmother who lived through the war and was therefore of the make do and mend generation. I, on the other hand, do not like clutter and am the nemesis of obsolete crap.

A slightly more positive end to the week

Well the good news for today was that TP passed his driving test at the third attempt. The bad news was that he needed me to drive him in to school after his early morning test as there was no time to revise his car insurance. To be honest I really didn't have time for this as I was already on the hook to collect 30% from Birmingham airport later in the morning and I do actually have a fucking job to do! It was a bloody good job that I started work incredibly early this morning and cleared as much as possible out of the way before I suddenly got mistaken for a chauffeur by the rest of my family.

It was lovely to have 30% back home after her successful trip to Houston but her return was tinged with sadness as I had to impart yesterday's news about Noggin. I have to say that she took the news well as she absolutely adores all of our animals and used to delight in Noggin's slightly deranged character and the way he would play with the dogs.

The return trip to the airport took about an hour out of my day and I had to hit the inbox and 'phone as I soon as I was back, pausing briefly to thank 30% for the four litres of Gordon's Gin and packs of Beef Jerky that appeared from her suitcase.

I eventually finished at a reasonable time in the evening and 30% and I headed over to Littleton to view the auction lots. 30% found a ring that took her fancy and we both took a liking to a rather elegant pendulum wall clock in a simple but beautiful inlaid case. The Auctioneer reckons that it is 1930s and that it will not make a huge amount of money. We think that it would look lovely in the Study.

After a busy week I reported that the kitchen cupboards were bare and refused to cook so TP drove me to the local Chinese Takeaway without L Plates. I then settled down in front of my computer to watch four eBay auctions end, finding myself more that £100 better off and, even better than that, have people actually turning up to takeaway clutter from the garage.

and this one was no better

Today was going reasonably well until about half past two when I heard a knock at the door. My curiosity was piqued as I wasn't expecting anyone or anything. I opened the door to Annabelle from the  Salon next door and she had called to say that she thought our cat had been run over.

I grabbed a pair of shoes and walked outside to the verge and there was Noggin stretched out on the grass. "Fortunately" it had been a swift ending. I gathered him up, gave a half hearted attempt to placate a lady that had witnessed it, and took him in to the garden where I lay him out in the sun.

Noggin: August 2011 - 10th July 2014

In the evening I buried him alongside his brother in the garden.

It was one of those days ...

Today was already looking complicated. I had to take a couple of hours out of the day for a minor medical procedure over at Droitwich and I also had TP requesting that I collect him from school as, now he has a job as a school cleaner, his late bus does not get him home in time for his guitar lesson. Throw in work, pets and ensuring that every one was fed meant I was going to be busy. I was also unsure of whether I would feel like driving after the procedure. I did try pointing this out to TP but I may as well have been talking to one of the chickens!

So, how did this all pan out?

I wandered downstairs at around seven in the morning to espy Noggin peering intently under the sofa. It was only a moments contemplation before I settled on "you brought him in here so you are certainly capable of catching him yourself". I then started the day proper by turning on the coffee machine and feeding the cats and dogs. I went to get a bowl of dog of food and discovered that the second bag of dog food was in fact an empty one that had not been put for recycling. Fuck! This meant that I needed to cram a trip to Pets-at-home in to an already busy day.

Once TP had left for school, I made a start to my day and realised that getting dog food could be challenging. The afternoon was rammed with personal and work appointments and the morning was little better. Fortunately there was a ray of sunshine when my ten o'clock call got cancelled and I raced in to sunny Redditch to grab two huge bags of dog food and couple of necessities from a nearby supermarket.

Back at home I carried on with my day and as noon approached it was time to head off to the hospital. I won't go in to any detail about the procedure but will simply say that I can only think of two ways you can get to see the inside of your own bladder and I wasn't disemboweled by a ravenous werewolf today! The verdict on the procedure was positive. There is nothing to be concerned about although I may need minor surgery in later life. Ho hum … back to work then!

Fortunately, there was no post-cytoscopy discomfort and driving was not going to be an issue. This was a bloody good job as 30% is in Houston and I was reliant on my own good self for transport services. I also managed to get in touch with TP and learnt that his guitar lesson had been cancelled so I was not required to pick him up from school.

I headed back home to resume the working day. As I wandered in to the lounge I noticed not one, but two, mouse carcasses laid side by side on the rug. It looks like Noggin had been busy while I was out.

The working day eventually drew to a close and I took T&M for a walk around the Three Miler before heading in to the kitchen to throw together s Shepherd's Pie for supper. TP arrived home as I was cooking and rapidly disappeared upstairs with barely a "hello". I must admit I was somewhat annoyed at this as I had run my arse ragged all day, including being on call to potentially collect him from school, and here I was cooking dinner and having to harangue him in to assisting with a few domestic chores.

I think it may be time for a few words along the lines of "This isn't a hotel, stop treating it like it is one"!

Picture Post

Tuesday was spent pretty much in solitude. I saw TP briefly in the morning before he set off for school and then again for a few minutes when he returned late in the evening after a fund raising evening for the school's Zambia Exchange Programme.

Now, to some people this would a terrible day; devoid of social contact and conversation but I loved it. I really enjoy time on my own and I spent the day blissfully alone.

There is not a huge amount to report. After all, who can make operating the washing machine, walking the dogs and scrambling a few eggs for supper interesting? The great thing about time alone is having the time to just think, to revel in one's own private thoughts and not have them interrupted or questioned. So that is what happened. There was nothing earth shattering. I spent the day in my own company and enjoyed it.

It doesn't make much of Journal entry though, so here, as a space filler, are some elephants that I snapped in the Udawalawe National Park in Sri Lanka back in April.

The photo was take on our first Game Drive through the park. We had come across a group of five or six cows and calves walking slowly through the scrub and, as we followed them in the truck, they wandered down to a large water hole that was a lurid algal green in colour. The whole group slowly wandered in to the pool and drank before resuming their browsing of the bush.

What am I going to cook for Dinner?

Following on from yesterday's closing statement I spent a few minutes perusing the contents of the refrigerator and kitchen cupboards this morning before deciding that I would assemble a sausage casserole. I quite like cooking but it is not something I do very often. I regularly get involved in curing and butchery but actual presentation of an assembled dish on the table is not a frequent occurrence. As the house refurbishment nears conclusion perhaps I will have more time to rattle the pots and pans.

Now, back to the sausage casserole, I have never actually cooked one of these before but have eaten many prepared by 30%. I knew the basic ingredients so decided that I would wing it. This is what I came up with;

Ingredients:

• 1 pack of 12 pork sausages
• 1 or 2 Kabanos (diced)
• 2 cans of chopped plum tomatoes
• 1 tbsp of tomato puree
• 2 or 3 medium onions (chopped)
• 2 or 3 sticks of celery (chopped)
• 1 or 2 peppers (diced)
• 8 to 10 peeled new potatoes (2 cm dice)
• glug of olive oil
• 2-3 cloves of garlic (crushed)
• 1 chicken stock cube
• 1/2 vegetable stock cube
• 1/2 tsp salt & loads of freshly ground black pepper
• 1/2 tsp dried Oregano
• 1/2 tsp dried Basil
• 1/2 tsp dried Rosemary
• 1/2 tsp dried Thyme
• 2 Bay Leaves

Method

• Heat the oil in a large flat bottomed pan
• add the onions, pepper, celery and garlic and soften for a couple of minutes
• add the sausages and start to brown them (they don't need to be cooked through)
• once the sausages have started to brown add the potatoes and cook for about five minutes
• add the seasoning, herbs and crumbled stock cubes. Mix in thoroughly
• add the chopped tomatoes, tomato puree and diced kabanos, mix in and bring to simmering point
• transfer the heated ingredients to a slow cooker and cook on "low" for 4-6 hours. Keep an eye on it and stir in additional water if it becomes too dry.

This was served with chunks of crusty bread and I can report it as a great success. 

Home Alone

I managed to wake before the alarm this morning, which was impressive as it had been set for twenty to five!

The reason for the early rising was that I had been emotionally blackmailed in to taxiing 30% to Birmingham Airport in time for a 6.20 flight to Houston via Paris. At this point in the narrative I should also point out that my waking was not exactly self-induced as ... how can I put it ... 30% can be a noisy sleeper!

We hit the roads shortly after four, thirty and it came as no surprise that we had a clear run through to the airport. After all, who in their right mind would be driving around at this time in the morning.

After saying our farewells I headed back home and walked through the door at a little after six o'clock. I was far too awake to return to my bed so I took a very leisurely approach to the first three hours of my day using them for reading, drinking coffee and breakfasting.

First proper job of the day was to remove a set of Land Rover wheels and tyres from the front cellar, photograph them and get them advertised on eBay. That sentence makes it sound so straightforward, but  the fact that the first 20 minutes of this task involved secateurs, brambles and an abundance of Cotoneaster gave some idea of how it was likely to pan out. I eventually gained access and dragged the wheel rims and rubber in to the sunlight. They had lain there for many years* and were covered in a layer of dust and cobwebs. An hour of cleaning removed enough of the grime and the photos were taken. I then headed on to the house to write the copy and start yet another eBay auction.

This was the last of the eBay listing items on my to do list but I don't feel that they can actually be crossed out until the auctions have ended and the items have actually gone. As a result my list currently contains an attractive set of pink highlighted stripes to indicate that I have actually done something.

This activity consumed the morning and after a light lunch it was time to head around the Three Miler; gorgeous in the July sunshine. After that I am afraid that the early morning finally caught up with me and I fell asleep on the sofa.

During the course of the early evening I finally made contact with TP and learnt that he would not be back from his Snowdonia Geography Field Trip until late so I dined alone on a chilli con carne created from yesterday's leftover bolognese sauce.

TP eventually called at around nine o'clock and I headed over to school to collect him. He said he had had a great time and had even made an ascent of Snowdon earlier in the day. Understandably shattered, he didn't hang around long once we got home before heading off to his bed.

Shortly after ten the 'phone rang again and this time it was 30% informing me that she had arrived safely and extolling the delights of Business Class flights and a suite at the Houston, Hilton.  We caught up on each other's news and then I headed for my bed wondering what the hell I was going to feed TP tomorrow.

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* since I found a shiny set of alloys for the Defender and I think this was back in 2009.

I seem to be trapped in a loop at Jaeger.

30% and I hit Stratford early this morning in an attempt to avoid the crowds. There were likely to be more people there than usual on account of the Riverside Festival, so we were parked up in town shortly after nine o'clock. We didn't have huge amount to do; 30% picked up a fistful of dollars in preparation for her departure to Houston tomorrow and I needed to collect a jacket and suit that had been subject to alterations…

… I seem to have become trapped in a cycle of shopping and alterations at this store. I find something I like, they don't have it in my size so I need to come in the following week as they are "more than happy to get one in". I return to the shop a week later, try on the aforementioned item, decide to purchase, subject to the shortening of sleeves or trouser legs. Pins are inserted, payment is made and a further visit is required in seven days time to finally collect the clothing. I then find something else I like and the cycle starts all over again. This time it was a Silk, Herringbone, Check Jacket ... I think I had better go in blindfolded when I collect it next week!

We were back home in time for an early lunch and I then headed out for a walk with T&M. Upon my return I had a quick snooze on the sofa before heading out to the kitchen and assembling a Bolognese Sauce for this evening's dinner. As it sat simmering on the hob I pondered how I should fill the rest of the afternoon/early evening and set to inserting a couple of dutchmen in the door frame that leads from the Hall to the Kitchen. This frame originally supported a door but has been a simple opening for many years. As part of the Hall refurbishment I need to fill the hinge and latch rebates with wooden inserts before sanding and painting the frame.

These are now glued and pinned in place and will be trimmed flush with the frame surface once they have dried. We then dined and it was soon time for an early night as we need to be up shortly after four to get to the airport for a flight to Houston.

Something for the weekend?

If I thought Thursday was quiet Friday was an absolute non-event. Being Independence Day, all of my American colleagues, were taking the day off to celebrate and there was very little happening in the Piano Moving Depots on this side of the pond. I had a couple of calls, one of which was mildly troubling as it relates to a project that we should avoid resurrecting at all costs. I really hope the Sales Guy got my message loud and clear, but I know that he hasn't the balls to tell our customer we don't want that type of business.

Away from work, I once again managed a constitutional around the Three Miler and also managed to list another couple of items on eBay. That's about it for today apart from the fact that I have noticed that I am strangely reluctant to drag a redundant set of Land Rover wheels and tyres from the front cellar to get them cleaned up and listed on eBay.

Something for the weekend perhaps?

It's still not Friday ...

… unless you are American and get to take July 4th off as a Public holiday and therefore enter the weekend one day before me. I am still in a state of temporal synch and am guessing that it is as a result of 30% spending a few days away in Manchester. I must admit it I find it most peculiar that this change in our routine has had such an odd effect leaving me thinking I am a day further in to the week than I actually am.

Well that rambling paragraph has filled a bit of space as a recount of today is not going to be particularly inspiring. On the work front I have been continuing with my efforts to familiarise myself with a work flow/configuration management tool. I should probably point out that when I say familiarise I mean in the same way as I am familiar with the Large Hadron Collider. Knowing that it is a larger circular structure, built underground on the Swiss/Italian border and designed to create high speed collisions of atoms in an attempt to create, detect and identify new sub-atomic particles is not going to get me a job there.*

The working day finally drew to a close and I headed out for a walk with T&M. The only other significant activity worth recounting is that I managed to list another couple of items on eBay. This activity stemmed from my recently constructed to do list as I have a quantity of now obsolete Land Rover spares in the garage. This, however, has now escalated and I have broadened the scope to include any items that are surplus to requirements. I am not sure what I will do with the proceeds of the auctions … I guess I will just wait and see how well I do.

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* and that sums up how prepared I am to support this tool for the next few weeks

Wishful Thinking

I am at the the half way point of the week and for some reason I keep thinking it is Thursday. I haven't a clue what is causing this temporal confusion. This week isn't overly arduous and there is nothing that I want to put behind me, neither is the there anything special planned for the weekend that makes me want to get there faster. There is also little point in me checking the date indicator on my watch to re baseline myself as, since I started wearing reading glasses, it is way too small to see and consequently doesn't get reset at the end of the shorter months … Like me it is out of synch too.

The morning started with a trip in to the Depot as I had the opportunity to meet a Supplier who is involved in a couple of my projects. This was no planned meeting. They were there for a Presentation to another team and a colleague mentioned that I was conveniently located so they arrived early and we pressed the flesh and had a chat before they headed off to their meeting.

I headed home at lunchtime and spent the afternoon with a phone glued to my ear on a series of calls. The working day eventually came to a close and a walk was  taken around the Three Miler with T&M. 30% returned from her wanderings just before seven in the evening and we ate together and caught up on her news. This is almost a flying visit as she is off to Houston on Sunday and will be away all week.

I do need to have a word with her about her travel planning as it has been assumed that I am fine with getting up at four thirty on Sunday morning to run her over to Birmingham Airport for her flight. Has she not seen those large, fenced, tarmac spaces with serried ranks of cars on the periphery of the airport? I guess not!

It could have been a moment of genius ...

The main objective of the working day was to become sufficiently familiarised with a Data Centre Hosting Configuration Tool such that I could support bids and projects whilst a colleague takes a three week long Summer holiday. I had a couple of sessions today and from my sub-orbital level of understanding it all looks reasonably straightforward. However, I can see that at ground level it is intricately detailed and there is endless potential to omit vital information or simply put it in the wrong place. I am also conscious that I will be dependent on the output of a Design Architect, who hasn't yet been told that he is "it" for a good chunk of the Summer either!

Leaving that, for a moment I can also report that things are going well with my Global Flea Market Campaign and I now have three items listed on eBay. All have received bids but I am likely to need to continue working as £2.97, less auction fees, isn't going to last very long at all. The lots still have nine days to run and most of the bidding action will be in the last few minutes so I am hopeful that I will turn my garage clutter in to a few quid at least.

And so I move to this week's major concern, that of Hanoi Jane, the escaped Barnevelder Hen that has gone native in a neighbours garden. After more than a week of liberty, which featured three chaotic attempts to retrieve her, I finally decided to put my monkey brain and opposable thumbs to work and spent five minutes in the garage attaching a large plastic storage box to a long length of wooden batten. My plan can be neatly summarised using the power of infographics …

It all looks so simple when you put it like this

Frontal assaults at dusk* had failed with the hen slipping quietly away in to the undergrowth,** so the plan was to come in from the rear, under cover of darkness, and simply lower the trap over the nesting bird. I appreciated that I had a slim chance of success as the graphic makes it look so simple but the fence is actually 6' high and I needed to balance precariously on the fence of the chicken run to implement my plan. Add in various shrubs, undergrowth and impending darkness causing poor visibility and I was giving myself a less than 10% chance of success.

At ten o'clock TP and I tooled up*** and headed out to the garden where I had already bridged the chicken run to fence gap with an aluminium ladder to make lowering the trap slightly easier. I took an initial recce and couldn't believe my eyes … six brown eggs and no fucking chicken. The damned thing was nowhere to be seen and the only positive thing I could draw from this is that my ludicrous plan was prevented from failing by never actually being implemented.

Later that evening, as I was emptying the dogs and shutting up the hens, I took a peep inside the coop. There on the perches sat two Barnevelder Hens. It looks like the damned thing has slipped back in to the compound unseen during the  day.

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* When the hen was roosting and likely to be far less alert
** Actually she had charged across the lawn, cackling like a lunatic, but I like the first image better.
*** got torches

Home Alone ...ish

This morning 30% headed North to Manchester for three days leaving me to my own devices. TP is here too but in his teenage years he resembles an old cat, in that he spends as much time as possible on his bed and smells vaguely unpleasant. He therefore makes up the "ish" qualification to the title of today's entry.

I started the day by throwing a Beef Balti together and left it to simmer in the slow cooker before attending to many happy hours of Piano Moving. The main objective for today was to finish entering my half year results in to the Appraisal System. As usual this was a perfect example in procrastination and I swear there were points in the day where I literally had to chastise myself out loud and divert me back to my primary task. I eventually hit the submit button in the early afternoon and basked in a metaphorical sunbeam that suddenly brightened my day.

A few calls later the working day ended and I headed out around the Three Miler with T&M. I arrived back with sufficient time to relax for forty minutes before assembling dinner for me and the cat! The evening saw yet another failed attempt to capture one of the chickens that has escaped and taken up residence in a neighbours garden.*

I can also report the recent construction of a to do list. Anyone whose life is sufficiently impoverished life that they read this on a regular basis will know that these get drawn up from time to time at The Pile in an attempt to maintain progress on refurbishment of The Pile and also to prevent the establishment of embryonic hoards.** Today I made an initial foray on to the list and listed a single item on the global flea market that is better known as eBay.

Who know how many people out there need an aluminium jerry can holder for a modular roof rack system but I guess I will find out in ten days time.

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* The damned thing escaped well over a week ago and I swear that that it has gone native and can occasionally be glimpsed with a distant look in its eyes and camouflage paint on it's beak emerging from a bivouac in her borders. Thus far we have made three attempts to catch the thing and I can report that a) it is bloody quick and b) the six foot deep, tangled fucking mess she calls borders give it one hell of an advantage when it comes to evading capture. We have located its nest and my plan was to capture it at dusk but the bloody thing is incredibly alert and you cannot get anywhere near it. Before you ask, or suggest,  I was all for shooting it with an air gun a few days ago!
** See Saturday's entry and the reference to two antique, hand cranked sheep shears if you have any doubts.

I hope he passes his next test

A repeating theme today seemed to be finding something to do whilst waiting for TP …

… The day started at a leisurely pace and I was informed that TP and his GF would be walking the dogs at some point during the morning. I was pleasantly surprised by this and decided to use the morning to address a few tasks in the Hall as I had been neglecting this room for the past couple of weeks.

I cleared away a few tools and mixed up a reasonable quantity of filler. Now one might wonder why I need filler in a newly plastered room and the answer is that this is due to a combination of factors including careless handling of a car dog guard, a redundant fixing hole for a relocated long case clock plus less than satisfactory finishing* under the window sill and near the door in to the Dining Room. I then glued and tacked a piece of oak trim that had come loose at the base of the tall cupboard.

Lunch followed a short while later and then came the first votive offering of precious time at the alter constructed to TP … I was required to accompany him as he drove his GF home. An hour later we returned to The Pile and 30% suggested that the lawn needed some attention. The Porn Mower was brought out and within thirty minutes it was more tidy sward** and less ragged pasture.

After putting the mower away I looked at my watch and thought I had about an hour to kill before I needed to run TP over to the Handcart and Fortified Structure for their closing down party. A coffee and a few minutes with my head in a book should fill that gap so I settled on the sofa. I was therefore somewhat miffed when he eventually took the trouble to tell me that he did not need to be there until an hour later than originally planned and a two hour chunk of free time had been shredded and poorly utilised because my git of a son seems to think I have nothing better to do than hang around waiting to run him hither and thither at his beck and call.

I informed him of my frustration on the drive over to the pub … sometimes I wonder why I bother!

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* This reinforces my opinion that Andy & Steve do a pretty good job if you are there to supervise but heading off to Sri Lanka for a couple of weeks and leaving them to it did leave me with a few head scratchers to resolve.
** it is never manicured lawn with two dogs and occasional poultry incursions