Messing around with a few numbers

Thursday was slightly busier than Wednesday and I spent the morning trying to get to grips with a rather complicated cost model that a frolleague had developed back in 2019 for a piece of new business.

Apparently there is a problem with the specification of some servers and the ones that are being installed need to be removed and repurposed while new hardware is brought in to replace them. I've offered to help "Tel" out by updating his model as, and when, the costs arrived.

After some initial head scratching I soon developed a basic understanding of how the numbers were presented and collated and started to record the new data.  It then became clear that the quote was not as straightforward as initially thought and we are not clear on whether the price, the quantity or both are being increased.*

I now need to sit and wait while we get the Supplier to be a little more precise on the costs and how they are changing.

As a result I had a fairly slow afternoon and enjoyed another walk with the dogs in the glorious sunshine. The local lanes have finally dried out and I no longer need to restrain the dogs to prevent them getting filthy.*** They had a wild time bouncing off each other as they charged about, begrudgingly coming back when I called them in as we encountered other walkers.

And that is just about it for today.

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* The quote identifies the affected line items and advises the amount that each will increase. It details both price and quantity, but doesn't advise whether "p", "q" or both are increasing. The price appears to be the same as the preceding quote, but it is possible that they are just doubling their price!**
** This is network hardware after all!
*** I enjoy a walk, but am not so keen on spending twenty minutes hosing down and drying two reluctant Standard Poodles afterwards. This does happen frequently over the wetter months, but I do try to minimise post-perambulation canine ablutions as much as poss.

Nothing to see here

It is fair to say that work is very quiet at the moment and the two requests I picked up last week were quickly resolved, with no real need for me to get involved.

A frolleague; "Tel" is in need of some assistance and we had a quick chat about it this morning, but there is nothing much to do until some fresh costs come in later in the week.

As a result I had a very quiet day and the only thing of any significance was a walk around the Three Miler in glorious sunshine with TP and the dogs.

The lack of events, occurrences or situations have resulted in me trawling my photo archives and presenting a picture post.

Cocoa Pods - Arenal, Costa Rica

I do like an unusual botanical subject and this one was taken in 2018 when 30% and I were touring Costa Rica. These are cocoa pods and were surprisingly large, being eight to ten inches in length and tightly packed with the cocoa beans.

As I mentioned last Tuesday, our holiday in Costa Rica will always be tainted by the loss of Tyson while we were away.  We did have a lovely time and some amazing experiences, including seeing Olive Ridley Turtles hauling themselves on to shore to lay in the starlight.

But, as I said, it will always be a great holiday that we wish we'd never taken.

A Blast from the past

30% headed in to work early this morning, as she wanted to get ahead with a new service that is likely to be needed without delay.

As she left she pointed to a thawing pack of stewing beef and "suggested" that I might like to use it as a basis for tonight's dinner.

Now, many years ago I used to cook a mean beef stew, but that was a long time back and the details of the recipe were a little hazy. I wandered over to the cupboard that houses the cook books, but could find no sign of the little pamphlet that documented this culinary treasure.

I was left with no option and simply had to wing it. This is what I did ...

Beef Stew

1kg Stewing Beef (cubed)
3 medium onions (chopped)
4 carrots (sliced)
2 heaped dessert spoons of flour
Salt and black pepper
1 pint of Chicken stock
3-4 tsp Worcester Sauce
3 or 4 Bay Leaves
3-4 tsp Dried Thyme
2 handfuls of Pearl Barley

1.  Coat the beef in the seasoned flour and brown in a frying pan
2.  Once browned, remove the beef and set to one side
3.  Add the carrots and onions to the frying pan, adding more oil if necessary
4.  Saute the carrots and onions for 5 - 10 minutes until they start to soften
5.  Add the stock, Worcester Sauce, Bay Leaves and Thyme to the pan and bring to the boil
6.  Add the beef to the simmering pan of carrots and onions
7.  Add the contents of the pan to a slow cooker and cook on low setting for 6 hours. Add a little extra stock or water if the gravy needs thinning
8.  a couple of handfuls of pearl barley can be added two hours before the stew is to be served, if desired

At seven thirty dinner was served and, what can I say ... "I've still got it".

Dunkirk

Let me set the scene ...

TP holed up in deepest, darkest Cardiff.  Cases of Covid19 on the increase. An announcement of movement restrictions expected imminently.

As I am sure you can imagine, 30% was in full on "mum mode" and resources were to be mobilised immediately for a recovery mission.

Putting crappy jokes aside for a moment, TP's lease expires in the very near future and his workload has completely dried up.  Based on current Government advise it would be virtually impossible for him to locate another room to rent, let alone move himself or pay for it for that matter.

Early in the afternoon 30% and I headed down to Cardiff in the Defender and her Mini.

TP was well prepared and most of his belongings were already packed and piled in the hallway ready for loading.  It took an hour, or so, for us to cram our vehicles to the proverbial gills. We managed virtually all of his stuff with the exception of his home brewing vessels and an aged Sony flat screen TV.

We were back on the road before three o'clock and we were all back home safely by five.  TP actually seeing Army vehicles heading in to Cardiff as he left!

TP is now self-isolating for the next week and both 30% and I are relieved to have him back at home.

Our timing was perfect, as later that evening Boris Johnson announced the initial set of movement restrictions.

Weekend Round-up

 Saturday
Social Distancing/Isolation is now the new normal and, to be honest, it hasn't made a huge difference to 30% and me.

I have been a home worker for fifteen years and am used to, and actually enjoy, the isolation, using the 'phone, instant messaging and e-mail for work and social contact. 30% is much the same and fortunately we actually enjoy being at home together.

I am not so naive to not be aware that that several weeks, or even months, of social distancing will be tough to bear, but at least we both have some experience of living this way and it is not such a complete culture shock as it will be for those that head out to a place of work every day.

We spent the morning cooking up a batch of Bolognese and other culinary activities. I then nipped out to fill the Defender with diesel as the price has plummeted over the past few weeks.

Lunch followed and then we headed out around the 3 miler with the dogs and this is where we saw the impact of SD.   The lanes around the village are just like they are at Christmas with walkers I have never seen before.  People are clearly feeling the need to get out of the house now they are unable to escape to their places of work.*

A kip on the sofa followed the walk** and I then released the porn mower and trimmed the lawn.

The evening began with a G&T followed by a steak dinner and a night in front of the television ... trying to ignore it and read tablets, magazines and other alternative forms of entertainment instead.

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* We are bumping in to dogs that we have never seen being walked before. They are easy to spot as they are all on leads and have quite a surprised expression on their faces.
** This is the law.

Sunday
A quick breakfast was consumed before I returned to the kitchen, knocked up a batch of pea and ham soup and tidied up the aftermath.

30% had headed out to the supermarket to take advantage of her NHS staff card in the hope of picking up a few store cupboard essentials that we are running short of.

And that just about takes care of Sunday morning.

In the afternoon we eventually headed out around the Three miler. I say eventually as 30% had to pop over to the local surgery where key staff are working at the weekend to prepare for the next set of Covid19 initiatives. It appears that she has a new role involving the set up and support of the new services that will be needed as self-isolation of vulnerable patients takes effect.

We eventually hit the lanes with the dogs and it was rammed with families out escaping the confines of their homes. Yesterday I said that it was like Christmas, but I was definitely under calling the number of people out on a walk.* I think there are two or three times the volume of Christmas walkers.

Several hours** later we made it home and settled in for the afternoon. I cleaned my shotgun as it looks like it is going to be months before any of the local shooting grounds re-open ... unless, of course, this really is the dawn of the Zombie apocalypse?

It looks like we will be heading down to Cardiff in the next couple of days to collect TP and his belongings. His lease expires in the next couple of months and he has little chance of picking up freelance work in the current environment, so has decided that home is the best place to wait this out and then start afresh when it all blows over.

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* Why do their bloody kids feel the need to take a scooter out on a country walk? I wonder whether the thought process is as follows ... " I don't wanna go outside, I don't wanna go for a walk, its boring out there ... I'll take my scooter/skateboard/bike that'll minimise the effort and minimise the time away from the TV/tablet/'phone."
** That's what it felt like after 30% felt obligated to chunter on to each and every one of them.

All is well

Well, at least it is on the beekeeping front.

The weather was reasonably fine today and shortly after lunch I found a spare half an hour to pop down the road to see Kathy H-R.

I dropped off a small parcel of groceries that 30% had picked up for Kathy and then I took a quick look at the hive that sits in her front garden.

It was going to be a quick peek at best since a cool wind was blowing and I didn't want to chill the colony nor any brood that might be developing. I got the smoker lit and gave a few puffs at the hive entrance. I could see worker bees taking in pollen, which is usually a sign that the queen is laying and that there are larvae to be fed. So far, so good ...

I lifted off the hive roof, noting that the colony had eaten most of the 2.5 kilos of candy* that had been provided as emergency winter feed. This was another positive sign.

I lifted the hive crown board a centimetre or two and gave the colony another couple of puffs of smoke. The crown board was then lifted and I was rewarded with a marvellous sight. The colony covered eight or nine of the brood frames, which is a good size at this point in the year.

I inspected a few of the frames in the centre of the cluster of bees** and saw a healthy patch of capped brood. That was all I wanted to see and I quickly closed up the hive, hopefully without chilling it too much.

All six of my hives have made it through the winter.  I just hope that we get a mild dry Spring with plenty of blossom and flowers ...

... I've already been asked about whether I can supply some mini jars of honey for wedding favours.

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* A soft sugar paste, very similar to fondant icing.
** This is the warmest part of the colony and where the queen and the brood nest are most likely to be found

Yes, no, maybe

I picked up a couple of piece of work yesterday and spent this morning clarifying the requirements and getting them off the starting blocks.

Both appeared to be relatively straightforward opportunities that could be turned around with little effort in short timeframes.

I discussed the first with the Sales Guy, clarified a minor discrepancy and within 40 minutes I had the correct teams engaged to develop the solution and quotes.

The second was somewhat different. For starters the Sales Lead didn't bother turning up to the kick off call and neither did the Project Manager. Our Architect did appear and, in his genial manner, dismissed the Approach being undertaken by the Designers and told them to go and do something much simpler and more appropriate.

After ten minutes it appeared that there was nothing for me to do, other than issue a short call summary and then close out the work request.

However this is now looking a little premature and I may actually need to get my hands dirty.

Every Cloud ...

It doesn't appear to be "all doom and gloom" here in the Covid19 stricken UK.

I learnt today that the BBC has cancelled all Eastenders filming and has halved the weekly episode count from four to two.

30% has put a black armband on, whilst I am beaming from ear to ear.*

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*I would rather watch a blank screen or a video loop of a dog shitting for half an hour than this amateurish tripe.

Gone, but never to be forgotten

Today was the calm "yang" to yesterday's exiting "yin".

The Government's Coronavirus advice has deemed me as an "at risk" member of the population and I must now be largely shielded from social contact for the next 12 weeks. Anyone who knows me well might joke that this is no change from my normal behaviour, but over the past couple of years 30% and I have developed quite a social life.

30% and I do enjoy our own company, but I think we'll be gagging for some socialising by the time this all calms down.

Very little happened today. I provided a modicum of consultation to a colleague and took Marauder around the Three Miler for a breath of fresh air and that is just about it.

Anyone who is familiar with this Journal will know that Marauder is one of our three Standard Poodles and she is nearly 11 years old now. Our other two were Tyson and Whiffler, but we very sadly lost Tyson back in May 2018.

She was a real character and very much my dog, so we were devastated to return from a holiday in Costa Rica to find that she had suffered a twisted gut in the Boarding Kennels and had died during post operative care.

It was months before either 30% or I could really talk about her and, even now, a mention of her name leaves us both with a sad smile and a real sense of loss.

We used to joke that three dogs was "one too many", but after six months we realised that three was the magic number and 30% started to hunt down a new pup that was most definitely not a replacement!

I still remember the first pup we went to look at. The breeder had a 5 year old black bitch that looked very much like Tyson and, as she looked at us, we both realised that we were not ready for another black dog ... the sight of this lovely girl brought back too many painful memories.

In the end we travelled to deepest Kent and brought back this little horror.

In truth she is an absolute delight and is one of the most calm puppies we have had, but she still has the switch that turns her in to a complete and utter maniac from time to time.

I suppose I should give her an alias, but I'll need to think on that for a little while longer.

Freestylin' it

I've been a type 1 diabetic since the age of eight and today, nearly 46 years on, there has been a step change in the monitoring and management of my condition.

The key to management of type 1 diabetes is to maintain a balance between doses of insulin, carbohydrate intake and the amount of exercise taken.  The aim is to maintain one's blood glucose level within safe boundaries and avoid the rather nasty and potentially life limiting side effects of poor diabetic control.*

Knowing your blood glucose level is important and the measurement methods have certainly developed over the years.

When I was first diagnosed in the early 1970s home blood glucose testing was primitive, to say the least.**

Basically a diabetic's urine was tested to see whether it contained any traces of glucose. This wasn't a test of blood glucose, but of urine glucose levels. If your blood glucose control was poor then glucose was passed through your kidneys and out in to your pee.

The test involved putting 5 drops of pee and ten drops of water in to a test tube and adding a reagent tablet. An exothermic reaction occurred and after a lot of fizzing a coloured liquid remained. This was compared with a colour chart to give an estimate of glucose levels. As I said, crude and hardly the most straightforward activity when out and about.

To this day I can still remember that blue and green were good results, orange was most definitely not.

I understand that this reagent kit was eventually replaced by a plastic stick that was simply dipped in your pee, but I don't recall every having that made available for use at home.

If we jump forward to the late 1980's a significant change took place.

I had moved down to London for a new job and signed on at my local hospital's Diabetic Clinic. I was asked about testing and I mentioned the use of Ames urine glucose reagent tablets. The Consultant scoffed that "those were for old ladies" and handed me a cardboard box containing a palm sized meter, a finger pricking device, a tube of test strips and a lengthy instruction manual.

This was a personal blood glucose measuring device. I simply inserted a test strip in to the meter, pricked the end of one finger and squeezed to release a small drop of blood. The drop of blood was then placed on the test strip and within a few seconds my blood glucose level was shown on an LCD display.

I was now able to actually test my blood glucose rather than urine glucose and this could be done relatively discretely whenever and wherever I wanted or needed.

I've been testing my blood several times a day ever since until today ...

This morning I had an appointment with my Diabetes Specialist Nurse and, having attended the prerequisite training, she has authorised me to use the Freestyle Libra monitoring system.

This is a waterproof circular disk that adheres to my arm it has a microfibre sensor that protrudes under my skin, constantly reading my blood glucose levels. The disk has a near field rfid chip and passes data to an app on my phone whenever I pass my phone over the disk. The disk stays in place for 14 days before it needs to be replaced.

I've only had the Libra disk a few hours and it is a revelation. At a glance I can now not only see my blood glucose level, but also whether it is steady or trending up or down.

Only time will tell how I get on with this new technology and the most important aspect is whether my overall control improves. We shall see.

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* You really don't want to know, but if you insist ... loss of sight, impotence, kidney failure, loss of sensation in extremities which can lead to gangrene, amputations and often death.
** Hospitals could test blood glucose, but the test involved a blood sample being taken and then taken up to the Labs for processing. This was usually done a couple of times a year at one's Diabetic review with a Consultant.

Weekend Round Up

Well, Clive Anderson on Friday was pretty much as expected.

It was an anecdotal/autobiographical monologue delivered in his normal bumbling style. Parts of it were reasonably witty and interesting, but overall it fell well short of the mark and 30% and I left before the end of the second half.

I think the main problem was that he repeatedly described himself as a stand-up comedian and, if he is, he isn't a very good one.

If I'd spent the evening in the pub with Clive listening to the same material I would have come home and said I had had a brilliant night out. This thing is money had been paid for a professional performance from a self proclaimed stand-up comedian and that isn't what I got.

Anyway, the tickets were free and our early departure meant we avoided car park chaos, so the evening could have been much worse.

Overall: 4/10 - must try harder!

Saturday
For the past week BBQ Dave and I had been keeping a close eye on the weather.

We had been planning a trip up to Hailes Shooting Ground for a morning of clay pigeon shooting with Bubbles and Grubby Mark and we had been praying to the Gods for fair weather.

We were blessed and had a great morning shooting and, in my case frequently missing, some quite challenging targets.

The afternoon saw a trip in to Alcester to drop off an order of honey at the Jewellers*. We picked up a few supplies and noticed a possible symtom of the Coronavirus outbreak. The car parks were quieter than one would have expected and the Supermarket shelves had some significant gaps. 30% got chatting to the manager at Waitrose and he told us that an order of toilet paper that would normally last 4 days had been sold in 24 hours and that they were currently experiencing a Christmas like sales experience with none of the staffing or preparations that are put in place to run a Supermarket chain over a period of intense demand.

The evening saw us with a house full. 30% had invited Grubby Sue and Mark along with Sheila over for a Chinese takeaway,** a few drinks and a general catch-up.

We were also joined by TP and his "friend"*** for the weekend. TP has embarked on a career as a freelance Sound Engineer after graduating in July last year. Unfortunately his work is being impacted by the virus outbreak and consequent event cancellations, so he used his now free weekend to spend some time with us, or, more truthfully, his girlfriend.

Sunday
I'd been half tempted to head over to Throckmorton this morning for another round of clay shooting, but the weather was miserable and, if I am totally honest, I really fancied a lazy day after a quite hectic start to the year.

We enjoyed a family breakfast, which is a rare occasion nowadays and the remainder of the morning was spent pottering.

In the afternoon 30% and I headed in to Redditch to pick up a few supplies. We definitely weren't panic buying, but, with three Standard Poodles to feed, our trolley full of dog food may have looked like we were!

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* Jewellery and Honey may seem an odd combination of wares, but for some reason my product and packaging seems to be a perfect match with "Vanellope's" decor and beautiful creations.  However, it is rumoured that a lot of the honey ends up being bought by the team rather than customers.
** Our local Chinese is normally very busy with the 'phone ringing constantly on a Saturday evening ... not tonight. There was only one other customer waiting for an order and the 'phone didn't ring at all for the five or ten minutes I was in there.  I wonder if this is yet another reaction to the virus and its origins in China?
*** a lovely girl who designs and builds props at a local theatre.

that "Friday Feeling"

Well here I am at the end of the week and I certainly have that "Friday Feeling".

You know the one I mean. The anticipation of two work free days. The slightly less conscientious view of work matters because it is the end of the week and, irrespective of what I do, or don't do, nothing is really going to happen until Monday at the earliest.

Yes, that "Friday feeling".

The unfortunate thing is that I have had it all week ...

Things have suddenly become very quiet on the Piano Moving front.  For the best part of eighteen months I have been occupied with looking at alternative ways in which we can deliver, contract and charge for a service we provide to our customer.

Now, after numerous iterations and demands for innovative solutions and even more innovative* pricing, the customer has decided that this activity is too disruptive and we have all been stood down.

This is part of a much bigger initiative and only time will tell whether work will pick up, so all I can do is wait and hope something comes in to keep me busy. 

After a week of sitting at my laptop waiting for something to happen I basically abandoned that facade and got on with a few domestic tasks instead.

As a result the kitchen is a whole lot tidier and the lawn is much less scruffy.** I can now see the floor in the bedroom, tomorrow's honey order has been assembled and the dogs have been walked around the Three Miler.

I bumped in to BBQ Dave and his good lady; Janet*** on my walk and we wandered back to their house for a chat and a cup of tea.

Basically I have had a very productive Friday on the home front, leaving me with two work free days to really enjoy.

The weekend proper starts with a trip over to the Artrix theatre in Bromsgrove to see Clive Anderson in Me, MacBeth and I.

Hopefully there will be more on that in the next Journal entry.

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* For this read "ridiculously cheap"
** Surprisingly, this was not the first cut of the year. We had a very mild and dry spell at the beginning of February and the porn mower actually had its first outing of 2020 on 4th February.
*** Now I do like an alias, but Janet is actually her real name, but very few people know that. It's actually the Welsh version of Janet; Sioned, but everyone calls her something quite different.

Stepping on to the Plague Ship

It was another quiet day at work, so I thought a quick forty winks was in order before heading out around the Three Miler with the dogs.

I had just settled down on the sofa when the 'phone rang.  It was 30% and I was somewhat surprised, as she had literally only just left the house for work about five minutes previously.

At this point I probably need to fill in a little of the back story ... actually, I'm not sure why I need to do that. After all, it is highly likely that there is anyone out there reading this a) because I haven't posted anything in the past four years and b) because if there is anyone out there reading this, they are highly unlikely to have read all of the preceding entries and therefore know anything at all about 30%.

30% has been my partner in crime for the best part of 20 years and the last time I was making regular Journal entries she was employed by The Neat & Tidy Piano Movers, as I still am.

About three and a half years ago she decided, rather abruptly, that she had had quite enough of the Corporate nonsense that pervaded every single working day and was starting to make inroads in to her non working days.  She negotiated a mutually agreeable exit plan with the Piano Movers and, it is fair to say, she hasn't really looked back.

She took about a year off and "chilled" before taking a voluntary project management role for a Community project and picking up some part time work in a couple of local shops.  She was also an elderly ladies companion for a while, but that role ended when her "lady" was moved in to a Nursing Home and no longer needed 30%'s ministrations and visitations.

I think we were both in agreement that she was not yet ready to embrace the life of a retiree and really did still need something more challenging than selling gin and bananas or visits to Garden Centre Tea Shops to keep her mind active.

The "something challenging" came to pass back in the Autumn of last year when she was offered a job as a receptionist at the local Doctor's Surgery which is literally just over the road from The Pile.

She absolutely loves the job, particularly the social interaction, often with people who aren't at their best. It really does fill her need to look after and care for people and it seems that she is really appreciated after only a few months in the role.

Now that was a bit of a diversion, so back to the 'phone call ... it appears that as well as providing front of house duties at the Surgery, she also has a sideline selling eggs and honey to the staff. She had left a box of eggs on the worktop and she needed me to pop them over and drop them in at the Dispensary for Alison.

Normally I wouldn't have blinked an eye at being asked to complete this minor errand, but the COVID-19 virus outbreak has just been declared a Pandemic and I'm now somewhat wary of heading in to a building whose very purpose is the "go to" place for the sick.*

Now, the advice to the UK public is to call 111 for advise if they think the are showing Coronavirus symptoms. They are specifically advised NOT to visit Surgeries or Hospitals, but I know how bloody stupid some of the British population can be.**

As a consequence I was somewhat less than enthusiastic to visit the local Plague Ship and was bloody certain of using the hand gel on departure.

As for contact with 30%, she's living in the chicken coop until a) she finds a new job, or b) this all blows over.

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* Actually, based on 30%'s anonymised accounts, there are quite a few "regulars" who have nothing at all wrong with them or could self medicate with the most basic of "over the counter" remedies. However this subject is likely to get me on to a full-blown rant about abuse of the National Health Service, so its probably best if I leave it there!
** Why the fuck are people stockpiling toilet paper? Its not as though diarrhoea is even one of the fucking symptoms ... perhaps they are going to self-isolate by swathing themselves in it like some modern day mummy?

I'm still not dead!

Well!

Its certainly been a while since I last put pen to virtual paper to note the comings and goings here at The Pile.

Don't worry though, I'm not going to dump a fifty page narrative of the past three and a half years here for you to read. I'm also not going to make any rash commitments about how frequently I'm going to make an entry in The Journal.

After the best part of four years there is plenty to report, but I am well out of practice, so I think it will be a case of taking it day by day or even week by week and seeing how it goes. Hopefully I will get back in to the proverbial saddle and, over time, fill in the gaps*.

Today was a quiet day at work, so I made best use of my time and got a few items crossed off my mental to-do list.

The most notable was the first hive inspection of the year. It is unseasonably warm and we have had one of the mildest Winters on record, so the bees are out and about collecting pollen and nectar from the snowdrops, crocuses and other early Spring flowers.

Shortly after lunch I threw on my bee suit, lit a smoker and took a very quick look at the 5 hives that are in the garden. Although it is mild, there was no need to perform a full blown inspection, just a quick peek inside the hives to check whether the colonies had made it through the Winter.

All five had survived and had adequate stores of honey in their outer frames. I could see capped and uncapped brood on the central frames, meaning that I had laying Queens in all hives. I even had a quick glimpse of one Queen as I scanned one frame. I have another hive a couple of miles down the road at Kathy H-R's house and I'll try to get over there at some point in the next week to see how they are doing.

Now, I am well aware that this is very, very far from the most earth shattering of Journal posts, especially after such a long absence and there are some quite major changes to report on. But, as I mentioned earlier, let's see how things pan out and, hopefully, I'll bring things up to date over the coming weeks and months.

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* A quick Google search indicates that there are 1,305 days between 14th August 2016 and today, so this may take quite some time!

A "first", fourteen years in to our relationship

We are definitely in to the pre-holiday phase and are doing our utmost to complete tasks early and avoid any last minute rush.

Yesterday the dogs were clipped and this morning I gave the shed it's second coat of creosote. It is not the most pleasant of tasks applying the oily, strong smelling fluid, but it is done now and I won't have to think about applying another coat for at least twelve months.

After lunch 30% sprayed the recently erected willow fencing with Danish Oil and I was required to fulfil the role of spray gun technician; thinning the oil down to a suitable viscosity for spraying. I then attempted to have a kip on the sofa, but didn't really succeed.

Mid-afternoon it was time for "a first" ... I wheeled the Royal Enfield Bullet Classic from the garage and gave 30% a short briefing on Pillion Passenger etiquette. After nearly pissing myself laughing at the sight of her in an open-face helmet and goggles, she threw a leg over and we headed down the road at a gentle pace.

Twenty minutes later we were pulling up outside her brother's house.* We had been invited over for an impromptu get-together which turned out to be a little odd. There was no surprise that the Elf was mostly occupied by fractious baby Oswald, but our other host spent his time with a friend attempting to illegally access an internet football broadcast on his widescreen TV. This left 30% and I discussing holiday plans with Mr & Mrs Tweedy, who had also been invited.

We had a pleasant couple of hours, but it wasn't exactly what I had expected, since our hosts were generally occupied with other matters. I was left bemused by why they had invited us over in the first place.

We headed home on the Enfield and 30% was turning out to be quite a good pillion passenger. I am wondering what she will make of something with a little more horsepower and better handling.

Shopping and Haircuts

This morning 30% and I were under instructions from Jonathan; our Painter and Decorator.

After a leisurely breakfast of coffee and croissant we headed over to Bidford to pick up wood stain for our exterior woodwork.  From Bidford it was then on to Stratford-on-Avon and a visit to B&Q. There we collected a few gallons of masonry paint, white satin paint for the canopies and door frames and a bright green gloss for the front door.

By the time we had taken a quick whizz around Tesco it was lunchtime and we headed home for food.

In the afternoon I was persuaded to get the clippers from the garage and give Whiffler a long over due clip.

He has a very fine coat and it had become matted, particularly around the elbow and heel joints. We had decided to clip it right back, rather then have him endure a grooming session that was likely to be long and possibly painful. Far better to cut his coat right back and let it regrow over the next few weeks.

Having got Whiffler looking reasonably respectable I turned my attention to Tyson and Marauder, and by the end of the afternoon all three dogs were looking a lot tidier. They will be spending their holiday at a local dog sitter and are likely to come back filthy after a fortnight of fun in her gardens, paddock and stables. The plan is to get them booked in to the Groomers at the end of September. They will definitely need a bath and their coats should have regrown sufficiently for a half-decent lamb clip.

The dog grooming took all of the afternoon and I was quite tired after three hours, half-bent, handling reluctant poodles. It is fair to say that our evening was spent relaxing and doing very little else.

It could have been a lot worse

First job of the day was to ring our local mechanic about the Audi, he was obviously having a quiet Friday and invited me to drop the car in whenever I could find a free twenty minutes.

I then settled down to clear my in-box and re-famaliarise myself with a set of slides that I was due to present later in the day. As I worked my way through my e-mails my attention was drawn to a meeting invitation ... Our client has issued the first of a series of RFPs and my day's priorities looked like they were about to change.

I made a start on reviewing the RFP documentation and made a few notes. As soon as 30% was free we dropped the Audi off at the workshop and I returned to my reading list. The RFP was surprisingly well structured, with a reasonable amount of time for any solutioning and costing, but before we got any where near that activity we would need a clear direction on our strategy.

As the day progressed calls were shuffled to accommodate RFP discussions and my presentation was deferred to the following week. A strategic decision was finally made and it looks like my involvement will be limited to bid management, as the solution and pricing is already available. I just need to ensure that that correct processes are followed and the right colleagues involved.

This was quite a relief as I am on holiday in just under a fortnight and my manager did not seem to want to select a resource to cover for my absence. As the deal is now quite straightforward, I should be able to get my Project Manager to keep things going while I am sightseeing in the Western States of the USA.

As the afternoon drew to a close the mechanic called to advise that the Audi was ready for collection. I had managed to break one of the coil spring and a new pair had been fitted. My car park pot-hole incident had cost just over two hundred quid to resolve ... ouch!

On the home front, Chippy Ian was with us today to continue the refurbishment of the Georgian canopies that surmount our doorways. These were in surprisingly good condition, considering their age. His work has been limited to re-fixing the original timber brackets and then replacing the planking, boards and lead that sits upon them.

He has now finished two canopies with a third to be built from scratch next Monday. We estimated that one of the canopies that he repaired was probably sixty years old and the other could have been closer to one hundred years old.  They have stood the ravages of time and weather amazingly well and with new lead work they should be good for may more years to come.

As the day drew to a close I tidied up Ian's debris and whizzed the mower around the lawns. It was my way of transitioning from the working week to the weekend. I now have two days to focus on nothing but home and family.

Could my day get any worse?

This morning I was up bright and early; suited and booted I found myself heading towards the station for a day in London.

At this point in the narrative I will make two points; the first is that I was an optional attendee for the meeting I was travelling to and the second is that I took 30%'s Audi TT, as it was parked in front of the Defender.

At quarter past six in the morning the roads were clear, apart from several suicidal wood pigeons, and I was soon driving in to the railway station car park.  As I circled to head in to a space I noticed a pothole a little too late and heard a dreadful clonk. It didn't sound good. It was definitely going to need a trip to the workshop and I was not certain that I could drive the car home. What a fucking marvellous start to the day.

I headed in to the station and purchased my ticket from the vague fuckwit at the ticket desk. He handed over my ticket whilst putting on some allegedly amusing performance of being sleepy, instead of advising me about a few minor changes to my planned journey ...

... it was only when I had put the car parking ticket in the broken car and made my way to the platform that I discovered that there was engineering works on the route and there was a temporary bus service between Didcot Parkway and Hanbroough.

At this point I really contemplated just going home. It was only the fact that I would have to explain an expense claim for a journey that never happened that kept me fuming on the platform.

The train arrived and about forty minutes later I found myself disembarking and climbing aboard a coach at Hanborough. As I settled in my seat I discovered that the coach driver intended to play the Chris Evans show to us for the next forty minutes.* As it says in the title"could my day get any worse ?"

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* I loathe that talentless fucker

Post Script

For the record it did. My London bound journey took four hours door to door rather than the normal three. My homeward journey took a full five hours and as for the meeting ... don't ask.

On a more positive note

Today saw the arrival of Chippy Ian. He is here to restore the canopies that shelter the front door and the one to the garden. He will also be building a new canopy to keep the weather off the door to the garage.

We also have our Painter here to start the preparation work for the repaint of the outside of the house.

With Hank arriving in a few weeks for the walling and paving the outside of the house will be very smart before Autumn sets in.

Have I just wasted thirty quid?

I had barely got in to the rhythm of the working day when the doorbell rang ... It was the Postman requesting a signature for a package; my new queen had arrived.

After unpacking the small parcel, I quickly threw on my bee suit, lit a smoker and headed out to the hive. It took very little time to get the queen cage tucked between two frames in the brood box and I soon had the hive reassembled.*

My main concern is whether the worker bees are too old to support the colony. A worker bee only lives for about six weeks in the Summer. This colony swarmed a fortnight ago so it has been more than two weeks since any eggs were laid in the hive, realistically the brood less interval is longer as there is no sign of capped brood, so my guess is three weeks without new bees.

This means that my worker bees have about three weeks left in them so this new queen needs to be out and laying as soon as possible as a worker takes twenty one days from egg laying to emergence. It is going to be tight and I may have to consider transferring a frame of capped brood from my other hive to keep this one going.

There is nothing I can do at present. I just need to be patient and let nature take it's course. In two weeks time I will inspect the hive and make a decision then.

The rest of the day rumbled on and I finally finished my presentation and passed it out for review. I may have seemed to be making a meal of this task, but the message is that the team need to pull up their socks if they are to succeed in their objective. Apparently this message needs to be presented in a positive manner and telling them they are a shower of shit is not an option!**

This evening's activity was an hour of Pilates in a Village Hall just down the road.  It was pretty intense and an aching thigh suggested that one of the exercises was working a muscle that hadn't been much used for a while. The optimist in me thinks that I will bounce out of bed tomorrow morning; the pessimist thinks I will be crippled.

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* It would have taken even less time if 30% hadn't volunteered me to give our Cleaner; Penny a quick tour of the hive.
** That was my Plan A and is still my preferred approach. I have worked with some Tits in the past, but never have I come across a complete team without the necessary skills or experience for what is fast approaching.