Getting on with stuff

 I find that it is challenging to achieve anything significant at this time of year. Outside it is freezing cold and most definitely uninviting. Inside 30% has encouraged inactivity by lighting a fire. I have to resist strong urges to settle on the sofa with a book.

I must still have the embers of my work ethic glowing somewhere deep inside me as I seem to have, reluctantly, got my mojo working.

This morning I started with some admin. I made the final payment on the new bike and then drafted and printed* a couple of pro-formas to cover the likely sale of my shotgun. I then attempted to get the 5 Series booked in for its MOT test and a recall notice** and this is where things went astray.

I had tried to get the car booked in yesterday, but had missed the call back from the BMW Dealership. I found them to be equally busy today, and, again they promised to call me back. I had stupidly given them my land line number, and this meant that I was restricted to being within earshot of the home phone until they called back. Unfortunately they didn't call until the late afternoon, and I was left struggling to find things to do.

I settled on applying some home made leather conditioner to one of our sofas. This went well and the treated leather looked and felt beautiful, but the jar was far from full when I started. Within a short while I had an empty jar and a half finished sofa. 

This was bloody annoying as I had all of the ingredients to make up a new batch of leather conditioner, but they were all outside in the store room ... note previous comments about staying within earshot of the home phone.

Eventually I was free from being shackled to the phone and I made up another batch of leather treatment. Here is a quick summary of the method.***

• The recipe uses beeswax and vegetable oil at a ratio of 1 : 3.5
• The mixture can be scented with fragrance oils, if desired
• Melt the beeswax using a Bain Marie method. Note: do not use your best saucepans.
• Once completely melted, add in the vegetable oil and stir well until the mixture is clear
• Add in the fragrance oil, if required 
• Remove the pan from the Bain Marie and carefully pour the mixture in to a jar
• Allow to cool overnight and the conditioner is ready for use.

I used a couple of ounces of beeswax and about seven and half ounces of vegetable oil. This produced about half a pint of leather conditioner, which will last me a good while ... more than enough to finish the sofa.

My final accomplishment was to draft a to do list. Oh my God! It is massive and none of it looks like fun

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* This sounds like a few minutes of effort, but by the time I had recovered the printer from the store room and struggled unsuccessfully to get the little bastard to connect to the home wifi, it took the best part of an hour.

** Replacement of the EGR Cooler

*** NOTE: The ingredients are potentially flammable and should never be exposed to a naked flame. There is a risk of fire and consequent injury and damage when making this product. You do so at your own risk.

Sometimes I surprise myself

Yesterday I mentioned the need to get rid of some of my accumulated crap unwanted possessions. I had vague plans about how to move forward with this objective, but, in reality,  my level of procrastination is mountainous.*

However, today I managed to amaze myself.  

The day started with the arrival of Grubby Jason and Josh. They were here to replace the path that leads to the front door. It is dreadfully uneven and laid on earth. It has a curious charm when cleared and tidied, but reverts to a weed infested, trip hazard within the blink of an eye.

The plan is to replace the original path with Indian green sandstone, much like that laid on the rear patio. Jason will then use the original paving stones to rebuild the low wall that retains the front lawn.

I appreciate that I am wandering from the point of today's entry, so I'll try to get back on track. 

Josh is a Land Rover nut and, on arrival, he was drawn to the festering wreck of a Series 2 model that is sat in the car port. I immediately attempted to sell it to him, but he declined as he has not yet finished his current Series 2 project. During our discussions I mentioned that I had a period capstan winch available and his interest was piqued. Over the course of the morning he had taken a look at the winch and by lunchtime a deal was done and £650 had fluttered across the ether and settled in my current account.

Buoyed** by my sales success I headed upstairs and decided that I should get my Browning Liberty Light shotgun advertised. After all I hadn't used it since upgrading to my Miroku MK38, and that was three years ago. After much faffing with my camera and computer I had a reasonable advert drafted, and I hit the magic button to make the ad live on Gun Trader.

Within half an hour I had received an enquiry about the gun, and over the course of the day several emails were exchanged. It looks like I have managed to sell the gun for a reasonable price. The prospective purchaser must be keen as they are willing to travel for two hours to view the gun. He will be coming down in Friday afternoon to, hopefully, conclude the deal.

I was congratulating myself on liquidating these assets, when my phone pinged. It was a message from Bubbles. It seems that my purchase of the R1250R has given him a proverbial kick up the arse. He has purchased a helmet, is about to book his Mod 2 test and has reported that that he will have funds available to buy my R nineT by February.

Bloody Hell! He hasn't even ridden it yet.

---

* I even managed to procrastinate further in the fourth paragraph of yesterday's Journal entry!

** If you're American this is pronounced "boyed", NOT "boo-eeyed"

Inventory Rationlisation

 Having been unbelievably impulsive yesterday, AND having an unbelievably accepting and encouraging wife, today I faced the cold light of dawn. Whilst I can afford the new bike, I really do need to sell of some of my unused and unwanted shit.

At the top of the list is my BMW R nineT and following in swift succession is my Browning shotgun and the Series 2 Land Rover Project that will never ever get completed. 

30% is also urging me to make a decision about the 110 Defender. It is a great utility vehicle, but its vehicle excise duty is fucking ridiculous at £730 per annum.* Do we really need it, or should we just fit a tow bar on one of the two other cars?  The only real use it gets is when the weather is appalling, or when the fishing peg of choice is down a rutted track.

Cars and bikes need to be cleaned before they are sold and the weather is a million miles away from car cleaning weather. We also have Grubby Jason arriving tomorrow to lay the new path to the front door. Using these as valid excuses it was agreed that we do nothing with regard to selling vehicles until the drive is clear of mini excavators and piles of hardcore.

So, what did I get up to today? Well, 30% and I headed in to Alcester and picked up our varifocals from Specsavers.  I tried mine out on the drive home and they are a bloody revelation! I could see stuff outside the car without problem, but now I can see the trivial details of what the various buttons do and what speed I am travelling at too.

I forgot to mention that we had a fall of wet snow overnight and this did not encourage us to venture outside any more than was absolutely necessary. We therefore spent the afternoon inside and did a little furniture rearranging in the space that used to be my home office.  It is now a second sitting room that links to the dining room. Our current debate is what to call this space as we already have a living room that is referred to as the snug.

I'm going with smug, until someone comes up with something better.

It was always going to happen

 It is fair to say that I was very keen to visit the BMW dealer in Cheltenham, but they do say "don't wish your life away". 

So let's start with this morning's visit to the Cotswold Shooting Ground in Childswickham.  I met up with Bubbles and Ben, and had a fun morning smashing a few clays. I managed to hit more than I missed, scoring 41/80. It's not a great score, but I was reasonably pleased, considering that I haven't shot much in the past six months.

On the final three stands we developed a new variant of English Sporting Clays by presenting the clays in any order and even releasing a simultaneous pair rather than on report* clays. We found it amusing ... after all, clay shooting can get a little too serious for me.

Back at home, we lunched and I checked to see that my tax rebate had finally arrived in my current account. It had, so I called to check that the bike was still available. It was, so we headed down the M5 towards Cheltenham.

It's pretty obvious that buying the bike was a foregone conclusion. It was in beautiful condition having covered only seven miles. It had a specification more comprehensive than that detailed in its on-line listing and I even managed to negotiate a lower height seat in to the deal.

We estimate that the bike was around four thousand pounds less than the "new" price, simply because it had been pre-registered in September last year.

Now I need to arrange insurance and, to quote 30%, get my act together and sell off a few unused possessions.

---

* When shooting on report clays, the shooter calls "pull" and the trap operator releases the first clay in to the air. As soon as the shooter fires, the second clay is released ... on the sound of the shotgun's report

What have I/we done?

 Let's start off with a confession. 

I have too many motorbikes. You can only ride on at a time and, often, poor weather or the demands of my life get in the way of riding. However, I have never let these stop me and my current collection comprises my old CBR 600, the little Enfield Trials bike, the Moto Guzzi and my BMW R nineT. I am very fond of each and every one of them, but, if I continue this confession, I don't ride them that often.

When I do ride it is a delight and I keep promising myself that I will get out on my bikes more frequently. In April last year I joined TP and a couple of his mates for a mini motorcycle tour of Wales and had a lovely time ... despite the rain! They are keen to do more touring and, strangely, seem quite happy to have me tag along. My little Guzzi is a reasonable tourer, but I have really fancied something a little more capable since being bitten by the touring bug.

I love the grunt of the R nineT, but it is no tourer. Fitting luggage on it would be a challenge and the very thin seat rapidly becomes a pain in the arse. It has a beautiful boxer engine, so I started to look at what else BMW has in its model range. My eye's beheld the R1250R and that was it.

It has a similar, but more powerful engine than the R nineT. It is a roadster that looks good, handles well and it is capable of being fitted with luggage. It also has a relatively low seat height, which is a must for my hobbit like dimension. It really would be ideal for me.

I tried one for size at the Motorcycle Live show last November and even attempted to arrange a test ride, but, after being let down by the Warwick BMW Motorrad dealership I gave up and perused the on-line advertisements.

I found a nice looking machine up in Cheshire and bookmarked the ad. Unfortunately it sold over the Christmas holiday period and I was back to on-line shopping wishing. 

Yesterday I found a beautiful looking machine with an almost perfect specification* at BMW Motorrad in Cheltenham. It was the right colour. It was a pre-registered machine with only five miles on the odometer. It was expensive, but massively discounted compared to a new, unregistered machine and it was only thirty miles down the road.

30% suggested that we should go and see it tomorrow ... What has she done?

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* It only lacks side cases ... and I'm certain I can pick those up for less than BMW's stratospheric accessory pricing!

Not the best way to spend a day

 It comes to something when the highlight of my day was driving to the airport to pick up TP. It was lovely to catch up with him after his New Year celebrations in Dublin. Apparently plenty of Guinness was drunk, good food was eaten and he even managed a walk in the Wicklow mountains.

As for me, my day started with a trip to the Eye Clinic for a check up. My IOP is coming down nicely and the other issues appear to be improving too. That was it, nothing more. I hauled my arse out of bed, drove to Worcester and got nothing more than, "yep it all looks OK, carry on with the treatment, and see you at some point in the future for another check up".

I've already mentioned the precisely timed trip to Birmingham to collect TP. It was precisely timed as you only get ten minutes free parking at the airport and I'd rather fritter away my cash on something other than NCP fees.

On our return we called at 30%'s brother's house for a New Year get together. It was OK, I suppose. A decent cup of coffee and a rather nice slice of cake was served, but there is a BUT ... Every time we meet with 30%'s family, they descend in to extremely tedious conversations about people and events of which I have absolutely no knowledge.

I sit quietly on the outer edge of these conversations bored and unable to participate. I spend my time half listening and wondering for just how long they will continue.  I know it would be seen as very rude to opt out of these get togethers, but isn't it equally rude to spend all afternoon in a conversation that excludes members of the party?

30% mentioned that I was very quiet at her brother's house and asked if I was alright. I pointed out that it is very difficult to take part in a conversation when I have met the subjects of discussion on only one or two brief occasions many years ago.

Unusually for 30%, there was no rebuttal.

MNX*

I find it quite odd that the most peculiar and irrelevant items can be recalled from one's childhood and adolescence. I can have problems recalling what I did yesterday, but strange oddities from well over forty years ago pop in to my mind. I don't know what triggers them. They just turn up, out of the blue.

I had one of those distant memory experiences when thinking about today's Journal entry. I knew what I was going to write about and the title of the entry sprang fully formed in my mind. As it rattled around in my brain I noticed that it was dragging along a memory of a long distant English lesson. That lesson was about wordplay and the teacher introduced us to a book called Let stalk strine by Professor Afterbeck Lauder.  For some reason it has stuck with me ever since and I believe that this is still regarded as one of the finest works about the Australian dialect.

I don't recall whether the lesson included rebuses, but MNX is well known rebus puzzle, and one simply has to say the letters out loud to reach its solution; "ham and eggs".  

So, how does ham and eggs apply to today's events? Well, I wandered up to the chicken coop this morning and ensured that they had food and water. I peered inside the coop and noticed an egg on the floor. They have finally started to lay about 157 days, or 22 weeks, after hatching.  Normally I wouldn't expect them to start laying until the day length is noticeably increasing in early March. I don't know whether any of the other pullets will follow suit in the coming days, or whether we will be waiting a while for the next one.

And now to the ham. At the request of 30%, I grabbed a carving knife and sliced up the remainder of our Christmas ham. This was divided in to portions, vacuum packed and frozen. 

So, there you have it. New Years day summed up in three letters; MNX.

---

* a rebus

Channelling my inner Garbo?

 News of the reopening of The Shop must have spread. I sold another four jars of honey today and only need to shift another twenty one before I am in profit.*

The weather today was vile; cold and windy, and I only ventured outside for essential tasks. These included poultry management** and taking the dogs out for a pee. My only other achievement was that I finished the bottling of the honey and a total of fifty seven  8oz jars have been produced.

The rest of the day was leisurely. I read, snoozed and watched a little television. This evening we were joined by Bubbles and Bobbyn and we shared a takeaway from China Twon, before settling to a game of Cards against Humanity.

If I am honest, my heart really wasn't in it. I felt somewhat detached and disengaged, but could find no reason for feeling that way. I really would have preferred a quiet evening at home with 30% and the dogs.

As it says in the title of today's Journal entry perhaps I just vanted to be alone? 

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* I know that I am already in profit because of the money made on the buckets of honey I bought in September, June and April. Clearly I am talking about quarterly figures here.

** This sounds like I am doing something complicated. In real terms I give them clean water, put their feeder in the run and let them out of their coop. I then scuttle back to the warmth of the house.

Like hot cakes

My little road-side stall is known by the grandiose title; The Shop. One of the first jobs this morning was to re-stock The Shop and set it up outside the gate.*  In less than an hour our first jar of honey had been sold and I am hoping to shift more product to the New Year walkers.

I left The Shop to run itself, as 30% had volunteered our services to ferry TP to the airport ... he will be spending the New Year in Dublin. 

As we drove back from Birmingham, 30% suggested a short detour and we paid a visit to Becketts Farm Shop. One of my birthday presents was a pork butchery course and we spent a few minutes chatting with the butcher who runs the course. We now need to make some space in our freezer as the price of the course also includes the half pig that I will be butchering.

It was getting close to lunchtime so we had a light lunch at the on-site cafe, and also took a wander around Shirley Aquatics. We both love aquariums and, at some point in the future, we have promised ourselves that we will have another aquarium. The challenge will be getting it to coordinate with the decor of an eighteenth century half timbered cottage.

On our return I checked The Shop and was happy to find that another three jars had been sold. This prompted me to get another batch of honey to melt in the water bath, before I settled on the sofa for a snooze. 

Over the course of the afternoon I got two batches of honey filtered and bottled and my running total is forty one 8oz jars. I have finally worked out that my markup is about 112%. The means that I need to shift twenty nine jars before I'm making a profit.

It had better keep selling like hot cakes.

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* I ran out of honey at the beginning of December around the time Storm Darragh blew in.  The Shop was brought in off the verge and it has taken until now to get another bucket of honey from Pete. In the intervening weeks we have spent a lot of time at the front of the cottage dealing with the fallen/felled conifer, and a surprising number of passersby have asked when the honey will be on sale again.

My God! I've actually done something today.

On Friday evening Bubbles persuaded me to attend a small monthly clay shoot out at Childswickham. He has been chuntering on about it for a few months, so I finally gave in and agreed to attend.

This morning saw me out early. I would have said bright and early, but we had a leaden sky and the wind had a nasty nip. I picked up Bubbs in Evesham and we then headed over to Broadway to collect Ben. A few minutes later we pulled up on a verge on the outskirts of Childswickham and wandered down a farm track to the clay shoot.

I'm glad I'd kept my anticipation levels to a minimum as this was definitely nothing other than a haybaler.* I was presented with a row of traps along a the edge of a couple of fields and a pair of scruffy caravans that were the "shoot office". 

The morning was inexpensive and the clays were challenging, but I was underwhelmed by the experience and my spider senses detected that the chair and committee had established a club and shoot that was managed and controlled way beyond the level it needs to be.

Apparently my membership needs committee approval, after attending three shoots as a guest. To be honest, I don't give a shit whether they approve me, or not.

I was home by midday and thawed out about an hour later ... just in time for 30% and I to venture outside and clear the drainage gulley across the front gate. 

I then retired back inside and managed to filter and bottle a couple of batches of honey over the course f the afternoon. Today's output was 9lb, 8oz, which will be going on sale tomorrow.

I should also mention that TP's best friend Charles turned up and we had an initial planning session for a motorcycle trip through France and Belgium and on to the Black Forest. All being well, we should be going sometime in June or early July.

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* A small informal clay pigeon shoot. The term is derived from the shield of straw bales that are used to protect the trap operator from stray shots. Nowadays clay traps are automatic and are triggered by a hand-held remote control in the stand. Many years ago a trap operator needed to sit by the trap, listen for the call; "PULL", release the clay in to the air, and reset the trap for the next shot.

Ongoing inactivity

 The Christmas inertia continued today.

I did manage to replace the reflector on the rear corner of the Defender and, surprisingly, it took longer to fit a self-adhesive reflector than it did to replace both the indicator and the fog light.  I had to use a heat gun to remove the original adhesive strip and there was much faffing around with T-cut and alcohol spray to clean off the residue. I also had to give it a couple of considered whacks with a panel beating hammer to straighten the panel. before I could apply the new reflector.

Not a lot else was achieved, although Beekeeper Pete called in and exchanged a 30lb bucket of honey for £70 Stirling.  It looks like a) I'll be bottling honey for the next few days and b) my little roadside stall will be open for business again!

Roll on twelfth night

I am mired in that dreadful dead zone between Christmas and the New Year.  The house remains decorated and the kitchen is still crammed with food. It almost seems as if one is obligated to veg in front of stale TV offerings, or mingle with friends and relatives. It makes me feel quite constrained.*

I am glad that the Big Day is over and, within a few short days, the food will be gone, the cards will be taken down and normal life can resume. You see, the thing is, I really like my normal life.  I don't need the excuse of a Christian celebration to have a good time. I have a pretty good time most days. Roll on twelfth night.

Over the past few days the components for the Defender have trickled in and over the past couple of days I have fitted the indicator and fog light. It's a bloody good job I've fitted the latter as we have been blanketed in thick fog over Christmas and Boxing Day. I really wouldn't have wanted to drive without a working rear fog light.

This evening we were joined by Bubbles and Bobbyn for supper. Gifts were exchanged and we had a lovely time. We'll be seeing them again on New Year's Eve ... I think it will be a traditional Chinese takeaway from China Twon.

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* I remember one year, possibly 2009, I decorated the smallest bedroom in the interval between Christmas and the New Year.  Apparently, based on the reaction of 30%, it was not the done thing to make good use of the holiday.

Now we can relax

I was up before most of the household, although I could hear Mr & Mrs Tweedy having an early morning cuppa in their room.

After a couple of cups of coffee I wandered up to the orchard and let out the chickens. On my return I gazed at the kitchen which looked more like the worst parts of Syria and Gaza than a room for preparing food. I couldn't cope with the mess, so sleeves were rolled up and order was restored. It took the best part of an hour, but 30% was well impressed when she eventually wandered downstairs.

We all sat down to a late breakfast which extended in to elevenses, so the Christmas carrot cake was finally sampled ... it is quite fabulous; rich, most and indulgent with that cream cheese icing. Mr & Mrs Tweedy left shortly before lunch and we did little else for the rest of the day.

The ham finally got sliced in the evening and I think 30% brought out every pickle in the house as a potential accompaniment! There was TP's lime pickle, my own pickled beetroot and beetroot chutney plus a range of commercial chutneys and pickles. 

It tastes divine!

I think I just seasoned it lightly. It was far too good to overpower with pickle!

Christmas Eve

Obviously the plan for today was to ensure that the house was tidy and that all Christmas preparations were complete ... well, it's fair to say that most of the Christmas preparations were completed ... the critical ones anyway. As for an orderly and clean domestic environment that'll have to wait until tomorrow morning.

This is how the day panned out.  First activity this morning was to get the honey roast ham* on to platter, covered and in the refrigerator. I then bagged up and froze the water it had been cooked in, as it makes the most fantastic pork stock ... perfect for soups.

I then continued with general clearance activities until 30% asked me if I had received my tax rebate. I had a few minutes to spare, so I checked ... My account balance was not as magnificent as expected, as the buggers at His Majesty's Revenue & Customs had clearly failed to hand over my cash. I ten spent ten minutes going round in circles with the HMRC on-line help before picking up the phone. I then spent thirty minutes talking to a lovely lady in Glasgow and, after much fiddling with my tax record, it looks like I should get my rebate in the next couple of weeks.

As I finished speaking to HMRC, Bobbyn turned up and we took the dogs for a walk down the lane. At this time of year the lanes are disgusting and the dogs were filthy by the time we returned. Fortunately TP was on-hand to assist with washing and drying the mutts, and they were soon settled in their beds.

In the afternoon I finally wrapped my Christmas gifts and then had a massive kip. For some strange reason I was absolutely exhausted and didn't feel much better on waking. 

Final task of the day was to ice the Christmas carrot cake. I eventually decided to go with my original cream cheese icing recipe and the resultant masterpiece is now taking up a lot of space in the fridge.

Christmas cake is nice,
but Christmas carrot cake is really nice

30% and I had planned to wander down the lane to join in the carol service on the village green. However we were both so exhausted that we settled for sausage and mash on our knees in front of the TV and an early night.

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* Honey Roast Ham

• Place the ham in a large lidded saucepan - I use a stock pot or jam kettle
• Cover with water and add 3 peeled and coarsely chopped onions, two or three sticks of chopped celery, three or four sliced carrots, a few black peppercorns and half a dozen bayleaves.
• Boil the ham for about 35 minutes per kilo
• Once cooked, transfer the ham to a roasting pan
• carefully remove and discard the skin
• score the fat in a diamond pattern and insert a clove in to each of the diamonds
• Once the ham has been studded with cloves, gently sprinkle and rub in a few handfuls of soft brown sugar
• trickle over half a jar of good quality honey and place it in a fan oven pre-heated to 170℃
• After about twenty minutes, baste the ham with the juices that have collected in the pan and pour over the remaining honey
• continue to bake for about another twenty minutes until the ham is a beautiful golden brown

Mmmm!

Sixty One

Today is my birthday. It's not the best time of year to celebrate one's anniversary, as there is a somewhat all encompassing Commercial/Christian event that tends to happen about this time too!  This year I promise that I won't witter on about it. If you want to see how I feel about Christmas, or my birthday, use the search bar.

So how did today go? After the early morning chores we headed over to the Oak at Upton Snodsbury and had a very pleasant breakfast at their Twisted Spoon cafe.

30% and I then headed in to Alcester to pick up a few items from the Supermarket, and to pay a visit to Specsavers. 30% has decided that she needs a pair of varifocal specs following her cataract surgery.  She soon had a pair sorted and, on impulse, I decided that varifocals might be beneficial for me too, as I find it a real pain to identify the car controls without my reading glasses. Unfortunately I can't drive in my reading glasses ... that would be disastrous! The net result is that we both should have new specs early in the New Year.

The afternoon was taken up with a lengthy kip and another birthday tradition. Every year I prepare a honey roasted ham for the Christmas period, and the late afternoon and early evening were taken up with boiling and roasting of a six kilo gammon joint. 

This evening's dinner was provided courtesy of TP. He cooked a rather interesting Malaysian spiced mutton stew. 

So that was my birthday, nothing huge happened, but I had a lovely day. Cards and gifts were opened and it looks like I might be riding my old Enfield up the Shelsey Walsh Hill Climb course in July and also attending a pork butchery course later in the year too.

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* or, if you are privileged to have access to the printed version of the Journal, take a look at the December entries in earlier volumes. 

A new Christmas/Birthday tradition?

 I was up early again today as Bubbles, Ben and I had arranged to go Pike Fishing.  This is looking like it will become a Christmas tradition for us after our first outing for my birthday in 2023.

Anyway, back to today. By eight o'clock the Defender was crammed with rods and tackle and a hastily prepared packed lunch was  thrown on to the passenger seat. I was soon trundling down the road to Barton over the recently repaired Bidford Bridge.*

The river was very high as a result of recent rain and our original plan to fish below Barton weir had to be abandoned. In the end we found a peg by the little marina and eventually settled to fish. The skies were clear and blue, but there was a cold wind. Our hands were freezing and the simplest task was challenging with numb fingers. Attaching a wire pike trace to monofilament line in the cold windy conditions was akin to attempting microsurgery whilst off-roading. As for attaching dead bait to the trace, that was equally tricky.

Eventually we got our bait in the water and spent an agreeable few hours talking nonsense and failing to catch anything at all. A little after midday the skies darkened and a cold rain started to fall. That was the perfect excuse for us to pack up and head home to thaw out.

So that was Sunday. I did manage to guess what my birthday present was from Bubbles within 30 seconds of being handed it.** I should point out that this is an ongoing competition and I am currently winning on points!

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* A grade 1 listed 15th Century bridge. It is single lane and is the only crossing of the Avon between Evesham and Welford-on-Avon. It is regularly closed for repairs as a result of damage by vehicles that are far too large to use it. This Autumn's closure was as a result of an Uber driver that, somehow, managed to wedge his car between the parapets of the bridge.

** It is a wrapped cylinder; 6" in diameter and about 48" in length. Obviously a fishing umbrella!

That's bloody annoying!

 I was up and out early this morning as Bubbles had persuaded me to take part in the Christmas Shoot at Cotswold Shooting Ground. I met up with Bubbs, Bobbyn and Ben just before nine o'clock and we were smashing clays not long after. The wind, my lack of talent and not having shot since early August made many of the targets challenging, but I was reasonably pleased with my score of 39/80.

Back at home I lunched with TP and then headed over to the local feed supplies store to pick up a couple of wire traces ... we have planned a pike fishing outing for tomorrow.

On my return I found that all of the parking spaces on the drive had been taken up by TP, 30% and Jules. I attempted to park considerately, so that Jules could get her car off the drive and ended up reversing the Defender in to the gate.

Fuck, fuck, fuckity, fuck! The gate is fine, but I have managed to smash the rear indicator, the rear fog light and a rear reflector. There is no paint damage although there may be a minor bend at the rear corner ... nothing that a gentle tap with a soft hammer can't restore.

I then needed to spend a happy hour scouring the internet for replacement parts and, as it says in the title of today's entry, I found the episode fucking annoying.

Next time I'll leave the damned thing in the middle of the drive and the fuckers can move it themselves when they want together out.

Can't be bothered

 Not a lot to report for today. 

I have to admit that, the closer it gets to Christmas, the more unenthusiastic I feel. It may be the result of a very busy Autumn, followed by a quite energetic holiday, a case of food poisoning and dealing with a fallen tree, but I am now at the point where I really can't be arsed to do anything!

I had two things on my virtual to do list for today. Both were Alcester based activities. First was a trip to Screwfix to pick up a Christmas present for TP, then I popped in to the butchers in search of a gammon joint. Fortunately I found the perfect joint and this will be boiled and honey roasted in the next couple of days.

And, as for the rest of the day; the weather was cold, drizzly and grey and I really could not be bothered to do anything other than curl up and finish my book.* At one point I did head outside with good intentions, but demotivation struck very quickly and I was soon back on the sofa.

TP arrived home just before seven o'clock and will be here, intermittently,** until twelfth night.

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* Masquerade by Terry Pratchett

** Diverse socialising, a visit to his Mother and a New Year in Dublin to name but a few of his planned activities

Warning!

 Do not walk in to your wife's favourite independent jeweller at this time of year without having a clear Christmas gift idea.

I've warned you. Just don't!

That'll do

 I wandered out to the remnants of the fallen conifer with every intention of splitting the last couple of sections of tree trunk. However, after a frustrating hour I gave up. I had managed to split off a few more logs, but the last few chunks of wood had contorted grain patterns and just wouldn't break apart.

I suppose I could borrow a log splitter, but that seems like a lot of effort for a dozen more logs, at best. If I take a step back and look at the large heap of split wood and the few unsplit chunks then "that'll do".

I did very little for the rest of the day apart from a visit to the local surgery for my annual diabetic review. They seem quite happy with my results with great scores for blood pressure* and cholesterol, as always I could do with loosing a few pounds.**

After more than fifty years as a type 1 diabetic,  I still have good eyesight and can still feel a feather on my feet ... I'm doing ok.

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* for someone my age

** few!