A "first", fourteen years in to our relationship

We are definitely in to the pre-holiday phase and are doing our utmost to complete tasks early and avoid any last minute rush.

Yesterday the dogs were clipped and this morning I gave the shed it's second coat of creosote. It is not the most pleasant of tasks applying the oily, strong smelling fluid, but it is done now and I won't have to think about applying another coat for at least twelve months.

After lunch 30% sprayed the recently erected willow fencing with Danish Oil and I was required to fulfil the role of spray gun technician; thinning the oil down to a suitable viscosity for spraying. I then attempted to have a kip on the sofa, but didn't really succeed.

Mid-afternoon it was time for "a first" ... I wheeled the Royal Enfield Bullet Classic from the garage and gave 30% a short briefing on Pillion Passenger etiquette. After nearly pissing myself laughing at the sight of her in an open-face helmet and goggles, she threw a leg over and we headed down the road at a gentle pace.

Twenty minutes later we were pulling up outside her brother's house.* We had been invited over for an impromptu get-together which turned out to be a little odd. There was no surprise that the Elf was mostly occupied by fractious baby Oswald, but our other host spent his time with a friend attempting to illegally access an internet football broadcast on his widescreen TV. This left 30% and I discussing holiday plans with Mr & Mrs Tweedy, who had also been invited.

We had a pleasant couple of hours, but it wasn't exactly what I had expected, since our hosts were generally occupied with other matters. I was left bemused by why they had invited us over in the first place.

We headed home on the Enfield and 30% was turning out to be quite a good pillion passenger. I am wondering what she will make of something with a little more horsepower and better handling.

Shopping and Haircuts

This morning 30% and I were under instructions from Jonathan; our Painter and Decorator.

After a leisurely breakfast of coffee and croissant we headed over to Bidford to pick up wood stain for our exterior woodwork.  From Bidford it was then on to Stratford-on-Avon and a visit to B&Q. There we collected a few gallons of masonry paint, white satin paint for the canopies and door frames and a bright green gloss for the front door.

By the time we had taken a quick whizz around Tesco it was lunchtime and we headed home for food.

In the afternoon I was persuaded to get the clippers from the garage and give Whiffler a long over due clip.

He has a very fine coat and it had become matted, particularly around the elbow and heel joints. We had decided to clip it right back, rather then have him endure a grooming session that was likely to be long and possibly painful. Far better to cut his coat right back and let it regrow over the next few weeks.

Having got Whiffler looking reasonably respectable I turned my attention to Tyson and Marauder, and by the end of the afternoon all three dogs were looking a lot tidier. They will be spending their holiday at a local dog sitter and are likely to come back filthy after a fortnight of fun in her gardens, paddock and stables. The plan is to get them booked in to the Groomers at the end of September. They will definitely need a bath and their coats should have regrown sufficiently for a half-decent lamb clip.

The dog grooming took all of the afternoon and I was quite tired after three hours, half-bent, handling reluctant poodles. It is fair to say that our evening was spent relaxing and doing very little else.

It could have been a lot worse

First job of the day was to ring our local mechanic about the Audi, he was obviously having a quiet Friday and invited me to drop the car in whenever I could find a free twenty minutes.

I then settled down to clear my in-box and re-famaliarise myself with a set of slides that I was due to present later in the day. As I worked my way through my e-mails my attention was drawn to a meeting invitation ... Our client has issued the first of a series of RFPs and my day's priorities looked like they were about to change.

I made a start on reviewing the RFP documentation and made a few notes. As soon as 30% was free we dropped the Audi off at the workshop and I returned to my reading list. The RFP was surprisingly well structured, with a reasonable amount of time for any solutioning and costing, but before we got any where near that activity we would need a clear direction on our strategy.

As the day progressed calls were shuffled to accommodate RFP discussions and my presentation was deferred to the following week. A strategic decision was finally made and it looks like my involvement will be limited to bid management, as the solution and pricing is already available. I just need to ensure that that correct processes are followed and the right colleagues involved.

This was quite a relief as I am on holiday in just under a fortnight and my manager did not seem to want to select a resource to cover for my absence. As the deal is now quite straightforward, I should be able to get my Project Manager to keep things going while I am sightseeing in the Western States of the USA.

As the afternoon drew to a close the mechanic called to advise that the Audi was ready for collection. I had managed to break one of the coil spring and a new pair had been fitted. My car park pot-hole incident had cost just over two hundred quid to resolve ... ouch!

On the home front, Chippy Ian was with us today to continue the refurbishment of the Georgian canopies that surmount our doorways. These were in surprisingly good condition, considering their age. His work has been limited to re-fixing the original timber brackets and then replacing the planking, boards and lead that sits upon them.

He has now finished two canopies with a third to be built from scratch next Monday. We estimated that one of the canopies that he repaired was probably sixty years old and the other could have been closer to one hundred years old.  They have stood the ravages of time and weather amazingly well and with new lead work they should be good for may more years to come.

As the day drew to a close I tidied up Ian's debris and whizzed the mower around the lawns. It was my way of transitioning from the working week to the weekend. I now have two days to focus on nothing but home and family.

Could my day get any worse?

This morning I was up bright and early; suited and booted I found myself heading towards the station for a day in London.

At this point in the narrative I will make two points; the first is that I was an optional attendee for the meeting I was travelling to and the second is that I took 30%'s Audi TT, as it was parked in front of the Defender.

At quarter past six in the morning the roads were clear, apart from several suicidal wood pigeons, and I was soon driving in to the railway station car park.  As I circled to head in to a space I noticed a pothole a little too late and heard a dreadful clonk. It didn't sound good. It was definitely going to need a trip to the workshop and I was not certain that I could drive the car home. What a fucking marvellous start to the day.

I headed in to the station and purchased my ticket from the vague fuckwit at the ticket desk. He handed over my ticket whilst putting on some allegedly amusing performance of being sleepy, instead of advising me about a few minor changes to my planned journey ...

... it was only when I had put the car parking ticket in the broken car and made my way to the platform that I discovered that there was engineering works on the route and there was a temporary bus service between Didcot Parkway and Hanbroough.

At this point I really contemplated just going home. It was only the fact that I would have to explain an expense claim for a journey that never happened that kept me fuming on the platform.

The train arrived and about forty minutes later I found myself disembarking and climbing aboard a coach at Hanborough. As I settled in my seat I discovered that the coach driver intended to play the Chris Evans show to us for the next forty minutes.* As it says in the title"could my day get any worse ?"

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* I loathe that talentless fucker

Post Script

For the record it did. My London bound journey took four hours door to door rather than the normal three. My homeward journey took a full five hours and as for the meeting ... don't ask.

On a more positive note

Today saw the arrival of Chippy Ian. He is here to restore the canopies that shelter the front door and the one to the garden. He will also be building a new canopy to keep the weather off the door to the garage.

We also have our Painter here to start the preparation work for the repaint of the outside of the house.

With Hank arriving in a few weeks for the walling and paving the outside of the house will be very smart before Autumn sets in.

Have I just wasted thirty quid?

I had barely got in to the rhythm of the working day when the doorbell rang ... It was the Postman requesting a signature for a package; my new queen had arrived.

After unpacking the small parcel, I quickly threw on my bee suit, lit a smoker and headed out to the hive. It took very little time to get the queen cage tucked between two frames in the brood box and I soon had the hive reassembled.*

My main concern is whether the worker bees are too old to support the colony. A worker bee only lives for about six weeks in the Summer. This colony swarmed a fortnight ago so it has been more than two weeks since any eggs were laid in the hive, realistically the brood less interval is longer as there is no sign of capped brood, so my guess is three weeks without new bees.

This means that my worker bees have about three weeks left in them so this new queen needs to be out and laying as soon as possible as a worker takes twenty one days from egg laying to emergence. It is going to be tight and I may have to consider transferring a frame of capped brood from my other hive to keep this one going.

There is nothing I can do at present. I just need to be patient and let nature take it's course. In two weeks time I will inspect the hive and make a decision then.

The rest of the day rumbled on and I finally finished my presentation and passed it out for review. I may have seemed to be making a meal of this task, but the message is that the team need to pull up their socks if they are to succeed in their objective. Apparently this message needs to be presented in a positive manner and telling them they are a shower of shit is not an option!**

This evening's activity was an hour of Pilates in a Village Hall just down the road.  It was pretty intense and an aching thigh suggested that one of the exercises was working a muscle that hadn't been much used for a while. The optimist in me thinks that I will bounce out of bed tomorrow morning; the pessimist thinks I will be crippled.

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* It would have taken even less time if 30% hadn't volunteered me to give our Cleaner; Penny a quick tour of the hive.
** That was my Plan A and is still my preferred approach. I have worked with some Tits in the past, but never have I come across a complete team without the necessary skills or experience for what is fast approaching.

Giving it every chance

This morning I wandered out to see how the newly returned colony was doing. Within a matter of a few hours the worker bees had reorientated themselves and were already bringing in loads of pollen and nectar. The hive was a picture of industry and productivity.

My glance then fell on the other hive and I felt quite sad. The bees were coming and going, albeit fewer of them, filling a doomed hive with stores. The colony has no chance of survival without a queen. As each day passes the number of workers diminish and the colony's eventual fate is to dwindle and die.

I didn't relish the prospect of dismantling a failed hive in the Autumn, so I hit the internet and checked out the website of Honeyfields Bee Farm. It stated that they supply mated queens right through until the end of August so I grabbed a 'phone and rang them ...

... A few minutes later a queen had been ordered overnight delivery.

In my discussions with the Apiary I learnt that there is no guarantee of success, but at least they will stand a chance with a fresh queen.

The day rumbled on and I filled my time polishing a presentation to be delivered at the end of the week.

Shortly after four o'clock the sun broke through and I put on my bee suit and headed out to checked the queen-less colony. I spent a good while inspecting the frames for any sign of eggs, larvae or a virgin queen.  If there were any signs of a resident queen the forthcoming introduction would be doomed, but I saw nothing. The new queen is the only chance the hive has.

The evening saw a trip to Dog Training and Whiffler was on pretty good form. He was a little wayward when walking to heel, but sharpened up as the class continued ... By the time he was crunching his end of class treat from the Instructor, he had aced the "tricky" yellow box exercise and also made a good attempt at the "STOP DOG" exercise.*

As the day drew to a close I spent time researching Queen introductions on the internet. It all seems quite straightforward; I just need to wait until she arrives and get on with it. I just hope that the workers will accept her and last long enough to raise new brood.

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* Whiffler is placed at the far end of the training room and I walk to the other end. I then recall him. As he comes towards me I give him a "STOP" command with the aim of getting him to stop and sit halfway between his starting point and me.  This exercise is a real challenge as it only takes him five paces, when running,  to get from one end of the hall to the other.  The key to this exercise is to get him to recall slowly!

Two items removed from the "to do" list

I have been trying to find a free morning to creosote the shed for a few weeks. Today that morning finally arrived and by nine o'clock I was stood, brush in hand, surveying the task ahead of me.  A sacrificial dust sheet was deployed to soak up splashes and a couple of litres of the oily, brown liquor was decanted in to a pot. There was no going back ...

... Two hours later I had ruined an old pair of jeans and a sweatshirt and had a freshly coated shed.  Creosote, or rather "creosote substitute" may be a bit  "old fashioned", but the dark colour has blended the building in to the background under the shade of the Yew tree and it it now far less conspicuous.

I cleaned myself up and dumped my, now aromatic clothing, in the shed where it can fester until I find time to apply the second coat. Lunch was taken and then 30% and I pottered in the garden, occupying ourselves with watering and a touch of planting.

The weather was beautiful, so I took advantage and wheeled the black Enfield Bullet Classic from the garage. I unzipped the vents in my jacket, put on a helmet and headed out nowhere in particular. I spent an hour or so touring the local lanes and byways before returning to find 30% continuing with our holiday planning.

As the heat of the day had now passed we headed out for a walk with the dogs and had a lovely time exploring a couple of paths and bridleways that we hadn't traipsed for quite some time.

Normally that would have been a full list of accomplishments for a Sunday, but after dinner this evening, just before sun-set we climbed in to the Defender and headed over to the Tweedy residence. It was time to collect the daughter colony from the bottom of the Tweedy garden. TP and I sealed up the hive entrance and securely strapped the hive whilst 30% discussed holiday plans.  We were soon ready to depart and the hive was carefully placed in the back of the car.

A bump free route was taken home and, as the sky darkened, TP and I placed the hive back in our garden.

One good hive, one not so good

I seem to be falling behind with my Journal entries at the moment, so here is another "two days in one" in an attempt to get back on track.

I took a day off work on Friday and spent a very relaxing day, in the company of Mr Tweedy, at  Edgbaston Cricket Ground watching the England v Pakistan Test Match. The weather was lovely and we had a fantastic pair of seats that gave a great view of proceedings. I wouldn't say it was the best days Cricket I have ever seen* but one cannot complain at witnessing six Pakistani wickets and Cook making a half century. I even managed a forty minute snooze in the sun when the English Bowlers were making a meal of the Pakistan tail enders.

And so on to Saturday; I started with some gentle pottering in the garden. I needed to tidy up the site for the daughter colony of bees, as this will be returning to The Pile in the next couple of days. This took no more than twenty minutes and then I donned my bee suit, lit my smoker and finally lifted the lid on the hive that swarmed a fortnight ago.

I had allowed two weeks for the young queen to hatch, mate and settle to laying, but as I made my way through the frames of the brood box there was no sign of queen nor brood. This was not good. As each day passes without a queen the colony dwindles as workers die off . At this point in the year there are only six or seven weeks before the colony changes behaviour and hunkers down for the Winter. There is a faint hope that I missed the Queen and she has just not yet started to lay, but I may well have to write off this colony.

30% and I then took an early lunch before heading in to town for supplies. She headed in to the supermarket, whilst I nipped in to the DIY store next door. Twenty minutes later we were finished and then drove in to the town centre to pick up a new travelling bag for TP ...

... We have started the count down to our holiday; lists are being prepared and bookings are being made. We still have three weeks to go and at this rate we should be ready with no last minute rush.

The next stop was the Tweedy residence where I, again, donned my bee suit and inspected the daughter colony. This was doing really well with seven full frames of brood and plenty of stores. The Queen was seen wandering across a frame, but I didn't need to see her to know that this artificial swarm was the one success of my first Summer of beekeeping.

After more holiday discussions, we headed home, unpacked the car and spent more time in the garden watering and feeding.

The evening was spent in front of a film and checking the internet for information on how quickly a Queen Bee will come in to lay. There is a slight chance, but I am not laying any bets.

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* This was back in '97 at Trent Bridge, when I witnessed Shane Warne decimate the English Batsmen.

Moving Projects Forward

After more than a fortnight of procrastination I finally found a free morning to sex up a presentation that I need to deliver in ten days time.

After adjusting a proxy setting I managed to gain access to the Corporate website where all of the various templates, themes and icons are held. *  I eventual found a series of icons that should cover all of the points i need to make. I then made a start on seriously reducing the word count of my slide deck.

The day rumbled on and I eventually grew tired of Powerpoint slides. TP returned home from early from his Summer employment as a Car Valet for a local Sales Pitch, and I recruited his assistance to help lay the heavy concrete slab in to position for the return of the artificial swarm colony that I created a few weeks ago ...

... All I need to do now is find an evening when the weather looks fine, TP is available to assist and the Tweedies are in , so I can go and retrieve my hive.

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*Perhaps it is just me, but I do find it somewhat ironic that I need to mess about with my laptop proxy settings before I can gain access to this material. I really would have expected to just click the link and land there.

Good news all round

Today I received my mid-year assessment from my Boss. I have obviously managed to conceal my dissatisfaction, frustration and boredom perfectly as his narrative was praise filled from start to finish ...

... Trying to look at it from a glass half full  perspective, if I apply for a new role the Hiring Manager will get to see these comments.

I managed to complete yet another day without getting anywhere near the PowerPoint presentation that I have supposed to be updating for the past three weeks. I now have a date by which it must be finished so that should help to focus my mind.

There was also news today from a Client about a series of RFPs that should arrive over the next 12 months. This announcement appears to have put the entire Organisation in to a flap ...

... I was the odd one out when I looked at it and thought "actually that isn't too bad and gives us plenty of time to prepare for the tricky one" ... is it me?

I eventually managed to shut the lid on the laptop and headed a few miles down the road to a Pilates session with 30%. I am absolutely amazed at how much I actually look forward to these sessions, especially considering that I needed to be dragged to the first one and very nearly didn't make it through the door.

This evening's session was somewhat less strenuous than some of the recently ones and I am noticing that my core strength and flexibility is definitely improving.  Sit-ups are becoming easier and I can now put all five fingers to the floor when bending from the waist.

Lows 'n Highs

I really did not want to face work today.

There was nothing particularly problematic that needed to be done. I just did not want to face another day of idiotic questions asked by lazy people who have yet to learn the basic skills of problem management.

This morning's call about a Contract Change was a classic example. A call had been held last week, where I was asked to initiate a couple of actions and provide a couple of pieces of evidence. I did all of that promptly and turned up to today's call to find that none of my completed actions had been reviewed or incorporated in the intervening days.

The lazy incompetents had arranged the call to get me to direct them to the right e-mails and baby talk them through the texts ... If there was ever proof that money is not the key motivator, this job is it.

Just after lunch there was a knock at the door. I answered it and found Hank, our local Paving Contractor, on the doorstep. I had been expecting him to turn up for the past week and he had finally appeared. We wandered in to the garden and I pointed out the walling and paving jobs that needed addressing. He paced it up and provided a rough estimate that seemed very reasonable so I mentally increased it by 50% and gave him the go-ahead. He should have his team here towards the end of September and they will make quite an impact by the time they have finished.

The day ambled on and eventually I was able to close the lid on my laptop and clear the bomb site that we call a kitchen.

We had an early dinner this evening and then headed out to Dog Training with Whiffler. He was an absolute star tonight and even managed the challenging treat in a lidded box exercise that has overloaded his grey matter for months.

Weekend Round Up

It was another busy weekend here at The Pile which, unsurprisingly, featured further efforts to transform the garden.

Saturday started with 30% disappearing off to the Supermarket for provisions. I wanted to mow the lawn, but needed to wait a while for the overnight dew to dry.  I therefore wandered out to the garage and tinkered with The Shitter; oil levels were checked, the engine was warmed and levels were checked again.

This token motorcycle maintenance didn't take very long and the lawn was still damp, but I reasoned that it had been cut wetter than this, so set about trimming the sward. About an hour later I had finished and rewarded myself with a coffee out in the garden where I surveyed the results of my efforts.

Directly after lunch I headed over to inspect the hive at the Tweedy residence. It took no more than twenty minutes to see that the colony was performing superbly. The Queen was sighted and the frames were packed with eggs, larvae and sealed brood.  I was unsure about available space in the hive, so added an extra Super  just in case. I then headed home via a couple of hardware stores to pick up a pair of edging shears and some concrete ballast.

The rest of the afternoon was spent preparing a site for the hive that is currently in the Tweedy's garden.* The selected site is in a sunny spot in the, now cleared, briar patch. I marked and dug out a shallow footing for a 3' x 2' concrete slab and had just about finished when 30% reminded me that I needed to tidy up before dinner.

The evening saw the arrival of the Mr & Mrs Tweedy. We had a splendid meal before settling down to tweak our route for our upcoming US road trip. I am really looking forward to the trip, but found the planning session somewhat frustrating.

30% and the Tweedies insisted on using a map and then asking how far point A was from point B and how long it would take to drive the distance. I much prefer to use the Mapquest website which is very much click 'n drag with automatic generation of routes and statistics.  As a result, I left them to their map and input their requirements in to the Mapquest website. On a regular basis I emailed them a url which would allow them to pull up the route at the click of a mouse button.

I felt very much like I was holding a blow torch, watching Homo Neanderthalensis sweating over a bow drill in an attempt to make fire.

Moving on to Sunday, I started the day at the site for my second hive. A reasonable quantity of bricks, concrete and stones were collected and a merry hour was spent with a sledge hammer, creating a hardcore sub-base for the concrete slab.

I realised that I would need a finer ballast to fill some of the voids in the hardcore, so headed in to town to pick up a couple of sacks ... An hour later I stood back and was satisfied with the foundation. The mixing of the mortar and the laying of the slab can wait until later in the week.

In the afternoon more gardening took place before I retired to the sofa for a kip.

As five o'clock drew near I headed out to the garage and extracted TP's little Yamaha and the Shitter. TP has been trying to sell his little 125 for a few weeks and has finally attracted a potential buyer that is a) local and b) making all the right noises.**

We headed in to Worcester and met up with the potential purchaser at his place of work. He wandered around the bike, asked a couple of questions and then suggested we head in to his office to complete the paperwork and transfer the payment. That was it, no haggling, no nit-picking over the condition of the bike. It was the most straightforward vehicle sale ever.

As TP was sorting out the registration documents I realised that I would not be able to give him a lift home on the Shitter, as it has as single seat.  I had not expected the deal to be completed this evening, so I had to race home and swap to the Honda and return to pick up TP.

So now I have more space in the garage, but also have a son with a motorcycle license, but no bike. How long is it going to be before I hear "Dad, can I borrow your bike?"

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* It is doing really well, but is sited under fruit trees and, consequently, want to bring it back home before the wasp season.  Wasps are notorious for robbing hives and honey is going to attract them like proverbial flies to a bucket of manure.
** Prior to this weekend he has had his time wasted by clueless seventeen year olds, making ludicrous offers and expecting TP to courier the bike to the other end of the country.

I managed to get through Friday without moaning

I managed to get through Wednesday and Thursday without telling any of my colleagues to go and fuck themselves ... although there were a couple of occasions where it was very tempting. Basically it was two days of conference calls and interruptions preventing me from addressing the pice of work I should have been doing.

I suppose I could have worked late to hone a PowerPoint deck, but I do tend to be a bit old fashioned about working late, unless it is absolutely necessary. I have done plenty of late nights, early mornings and weekend work when I have been up against the clock as a result of an aggressive bid calendar. However, I am afraid that tidying up a Presentation to educate my peers and their managers ... note "peers and their managers" about best practice on a upcoming bid does not yet warrant a late night in front of a laptop.

This may seem a little self destructive, but the Piano Movers have their own way of moving Pianos. I have found that they are not actually particularly good at this aspect of the work, but seem very reluctant to change. They are also very hierarchical with regard to decision making and there are major challenges in getting the support to resource bids, let along change the way they are run.

The proverbial shit will hit the fan in the next couple of weeks when our customer finally gets their shit together and publishes its RFP timelines ... Hopefully that will focus minds, including my own.

After two days of covering colleague's work I was finally able to set my out-of-office message on Thursday evening and start a three day weekend.

Friday saw us chuck the dogs in the back of the Defender and head a couple of miles down the road to a Game Fair that is being held this weekend at a local Stately Home. We had a great day wandering amongst the exhibits and retail stalls that were all loosely connected* with Huntin', Shootin' 'n Fishin'. 

It was very much a dog friendly day and Tyson, Marauder and Whiffler drew a fair bit of attention as it is not every day that you see a family daft enough to own three Standard Poodles. It was pleasing to see quote a few other Poodles at the fair and very interesting to see that our three recognised and interacted with other Poodles in a different way to other breeds of dog.

Our trip home was thankfully short and we spent the evening relaxing after our wanderings across the show ground.

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* In some cases very tenuously

Frustration

My frame of mind didn't really improve today. I scanned my inbox and noticed that I was to attend a review session in preparation for a Contract Change.

The problem from my perspective is that the original solution and price was assembled in November last year and I am damned sure that I had provided most, if not all, of the information that I was now being asked for.

I searched through my archives and replied to the invitation sending over a couple of emails that had originally been issued months ago. I then attended the call and, again, spent my time trawling though my archive re-issuing communications to respond to their questions.

My main issue is that I was not the originator for any of the information my colleagues needed. I just happened to be the  Filing Clerk with a great memory and could lay my hands on the various documents at a moments notice. It is fair to say that I was not impressed at being pulled in to find and deliver previously provided evidences.

This may give an idea of how half-arsed some of my colleagues are; yesterday I released some pricing on behalf of a colleague. There was no follow up from the Sales team in my inbox this morning, but it became apparent that they decided that they needed a call with me ...

... I know this because when I returned to my desk after my lunch break it was apparent that I had been invited to a meeting precisely two minutes prior to that meeting's start time. Most of the time I would have done my best to attend, a call at short notice, but these idiots attempted a a call at short notice right in the middle of the day. The irony is that they are a Dutch Team and are notorious for not eating at their desks.

I am well aware that work is winding me up at present. It isn't hard and I am not over burdened. I am just incredibly frustrated at how poorly things are progressed. There are people doing some great things, but generally they are immersed in a mire of ineptitude and incomprehension.

I really do need to check the Corporate Job Search page and see if there is anything new advertised.*

This evening I threw together a Chicken Balti for TP and myself before disappearing down the road to a Pilates class. It was quite intense and was starving by the time I returned home. Fortunately TP had time the reheating and cooking of rice to perfection and dinner was served within minutes.

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* I now do this at least once a week

Vacation Cover

I have already mentioned that a colleague of mine is away sunning himself in the South of France and that I have been strong armed in to providing some cover whilst he is away.

He is a lovely chap, but he does seem to have a natural talent for making things very complicated. For a start he actually recruited another colleague to provide holiday cover and she did ...

... up until she went on holiday on Friday.

I have therefore had to pick up the baby for the last three days of his holiday with a Chinese Whispers hand over from his preferred support.

"Ah!" I hear you say. "Only supporting for three days ... piece of cake".

Normally I would agree and my natural approach would have been to do the bare minimum and hand back his disorganised and poorly documented crap on Thursday.  Unfortunately a commitment had been made to deliver some pricing by Wednesday, so I found myself begging for costs, hurriedly preparing these for pricing and sweet talking Little Miss Sunshine* in to a surprisingly cooperative frame of mind.

I managed to get the pricing completed and released today but am now doing my best to hide away from the expected questions as there is about nine months of history, about which, I haven't a clue.

Now I expect you are thinking that I have finished the rant about providing holiday cover for colleagues, but, no,  there is a whole other dimension to this tale ...

... The colleague that disappeared on Friday, the one who was  number one choice as vacation cover, left a very carelessly worded out of office message. As a result I am being dragged in to every bloody issue that lands in her inbox and am having to research them and pass them on to the appropriate recipients.

It's not as though I had any of my own work to be getting on with.

By the time the clock struck five I was well and truly fucked off and was glad to leave them to fester in mires of their own making.

This evening was Dog Training and I am pleased to report that Whiffler performed really well . He has seemed a little disinterested recently, but was engaged and motivated this evening. It may have helped that we had a few new exercises to challenge him.

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* Our Pricer

Just like Saturday, but with fewer bees

Sunday seemed like a re-run of Saturday with another early morning Tip run to dispose of more brambles and the last of the tree stump.

By half past nine we were back at home and I returned to the Briar Patch to remove the last of the bramble and ivy. It was slow going and hot, hard work; I was glad to stop as midday approached.

30% was conspicuously absent after the Tip run, but she did have a reasonable excuse.  She needed to pack for a trip to the Netherlands; she was flying out later on in the day.

TP and I bade farewell to 30% just after twelve and, after an extended lunch break, I returned to the patch ...

... and there I stayed until I had finally finished the transformation from scrub to garden.

It has been a bit of a mission. The plan is to get this area of the garden tidied up and planted. We have a Ground Works Contractor coming over next week to view the job and hopefully quote for the walling and paving work.

Not everything went to plan

30% and I made an early start today and were heading towards the Tip well before nine o'clock. We had soon unleaded a trailer full of garden debris and were heading homeward.

After parking the trailer I decided to implement a plan that I had been mulling over for the past week. There is a large tree stump* in the middle of the briar patch that I am clearing and I had been thinking about using the Defender to pull it from the ground.  My recent clearance efforts had cut through the majority of the now rotten roots, so I thought I had a chance, but my rope was not particularly  strong and was the definite weak point in the plan.

We soon had the Defender positioned and the rope attached to the stump. 30% stood well back and I started to take up the slack and pull on the stump. As expected the rope gave way and the stump looked exactly as it had five minutes previously.

As we returned to inspect the stump 30% pointed skywards and we noticed a mass of bees. My colony had chosen this moment to swarm and for the next thirty minute the air was filled with bees until they settled in a nearby tree. The front of the hive was also covered in a blanket of bees that had remained.

I had obviously overlooked a mature Queen cell when I last inspected the hive a couple of weeks ago and, in the intervening time, she had hatched, mated and was now leading a swarm away from my hive.  I put out a nucleus box in the hope that the swarm might see it as an attractive home  and then returned to the Briar Patch.

With Plan A having failed I decided to proceed with a much more basic Plan B. A spade and Felling Axe were collected from the shed and I started to split away sections of the stump. It was hard going in the heat of the day but within a couple of hours I had reduced the stump to a solitary spike of wood attached to a rotted root.  Two or three swing of the axe severed the spike and I had finally removed the last major obstacle from the old rockery. From here on in it was just a few brambles and ivy.

In the afternoon 30% and I loaded up the Defender with beekeeping paraphernalia and headed over to The Tweedy's house to inspect the Daughter colony and catch up on their news.

The colony was doing really well and had consumed the three and a half litres of syrup that had been given to them last week. I removed the feeder and worked my way through the hive. I moved the outer frames inwards as the bees seem reluctant to draw the foundation on these. I also removed a frame of stores from the brood box and replaced it with a frame of foundation. Hopefully this will ensure that the Queen has plenty of space to lay.

We then spent a pleasant hour drinking tea and catching up on each other's news before heading home.

Next job was to take a look inside the hive that had just swarmed ...

... it was apparent that my assumption was correct.  I had missed a mature Queen cell a fortnight previously and she had definitely been laying. There were a dozen or more mature Queen cells in the hive and I reduced these to two in number. All I can do now is hope that the swarm has created sufficient space in the hive that the next Queen will settle and lay in the hive.

By the time I had finished my second hive inspection I was "cooked". I t had been a very hot day and I had spent most of it working in the sun. The evening was spent doing very little apart from rehydrating.

---

* There was a large Silver Birch that was felled back in 2007 when we prepared the site for the construction of our extension and garage.

It's 4.30 p.m. and I'm out of here

As I get older I relish Fridays more and more. I can put the idiocies of work behind me and enjoy a couple of days of home and family life.

I had to get the working day out of the way first and this was surprisingly painless.  A review call that I had requested to be scheduled next week was arranged for this afternoon so the first activity of the day was to ensure that my Techies were available and invited.

I then held a "1-2-1" with my Manager which was as dissatisfying as the previous one. I arrange these so he can provide feedback on my performance, a touch of mentoring and general advice. Simply being told that everything is going really well doesn't help me at all. I feel that he should be challenging me to stretch myself, but this is just not happening.

The rest of the day was filled with a series of hand-over discussions. I am to provide a few days of support for a colleague who is away on holiday. Unfortunately he left for his holiday ten days ago and I was being brought up to speed by his colleague who is about to depart for a holiday herself.

The handover sessions were therefore a case of Chinese Whispers and I was very concerned about what I was about to inherit for the next few days. My colleague's approach is somewhat disorganised and it is fair to say that documentation is not one of his strengths. I was therefore provided with a series of e-mails and a narrative that I am sure changed each time it was repeated. Fortunately  my support should be limited to engaging our obliging Pricer early next week, assuming that I get the promised cost files.

The afternoon review session went surprisingly well and I was able to close the lid on the laptop at half past four.

The early evening was spent enjoying the garden and loading up the trailer with garden debris in preparation for a trip to the Tip early tomorrow morning...

... Here starts the weekend

If you want a job doing ...

A few weeks back I had a minor moan about a large pile of wood that a friend had donated, but we really did not need. It had sat behind the garage for a good few years and it needed to go. TP and I had taken half of it to the Tip and 30% had offered the remainder to a frolleague who lives a few hundred yards down the road. The frolleague had accepted but did not seem in any rush to come and collect the wood.

I was somewhat frustrated by this situation so loaded up the trailer with the wood. He could either come and hitch the trailer to his car or I would take the damned stuff to the Tip. A few weeks had passed and I really needed to free up the trailer, but there was still no sign of the wood being collected.

Yesterday I sent him an instant message and finally managed to get him to commit to collecting the load. This morning he turned up bright and early and I finally waved bye bye to the large pile of pallet wood ...

... The trailer was returned later in the day and I can finally think about a trip to the tip with the large quantity of brambles that have been cut back over the past couple of weeks.

The working day was the usual tales of poor strategy, refusal to accept responsibility and general muddled thinking. I took a break from work just after four o'clock and got the lawn mowed. I returned to my desk for a call, scheduled for the hour from six until seven, and was overjoyed that it was aborted after twenty minutes.

As a result I actually managed to make it to this evening's Pilates session and was quite amazed that my core strength actually appears to be improving.