Wednesday, 6 July 2011

Phew

The tooth extraction was nowhere near as bad as I expected it to be.

To be honest my new Dentist didn't do herself any favours at all at the first consultation on Monday. I told her that I was an absolute coward so she reassuringly responded with the following forecast ...

... "Oh don't worry Mr Bad Man. Things will be fine. We'll use plenty of anaesthetic you won't feel a thing"

OK, I'm fine at this point. Well, when I say fine I actually mean that I will reluctantly come back and endure the torture. But the blood crazed lunatic then went on with the following ...

... "On teeth like these, where root canal work has been done, the roots can become brittle and fracture during extraction. If that's the case we may need to just cut the gum, drill in to the jaw bone and there may be a stitch or two". Note the key words here CUT, DRILL, JAW BONE, STITCHES. She should have stuck while she was ahead as not one syllable of that utterance encouraged me to return. I have most definitely not been looking forward to this morning's visit.

Fortunately the extraction was straightforward and apart from the ominous cracking noises it went without a hitch. It is at times like this that I wish I didn't have such a vivid imagination. I also wish that I had the personal restraint that would have prevented me peering at the blood and gore covered pre-molar as it lay on the dentist tray.

It was later in the day that I finally released why dentists are so bloody well off. I bet that thieving git goes to bed every night with a sack full of teeth under her pillow. I further wager that the Tooth Fairy has installed a credit card payment handset rather than lugging a huge bag of money to her house every day. 

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