Nothing was stirring not even a mouse ....

 ..... I know they weren't stirring. The little vermin sods were sat on the sofa having worked out how to control Sky+. Let me explain ......

..... I now recount the only possible set of circumstances that could have lead to the tale TP recounted when he returned from school today.

Eddy, it is always Eddy, had obviously brought in a rodent victim for some "entertainment". The aforementioned victim was obviously of sterner stuff than Eddy expected and made a run for it and managed to hide out in some corner of The Pile.

The little sod has been deep under cover learning our ways and becoming familiar with every routine and habit. It then discovered Sky + and watched the recording of The Great Escape. I can see the little sod now, kicking back on the sofa, munching on a Dorito that TP had previously dropped down the crack between the cushions. I can see him now; studying the plot and then the Eureka moment as he sees the way out of the prison......

..... he scuttles upstairs and secretes himself in TP's school bag. He knows all too well that he is never going to go hungry in there with the crumbs that accumulate. He lies in wait listening for the slam of doors, the bus stop bullshitting and finally the settling of kids on the bus. This is it, a blast of light as TP opens his bag and Mousey scuttles out and up TPs arm. TP takes Mousey to the Driver who escorts him outside and with a cheery "Danke" he has made his escape.....