Sick Note

It is up to you to decide which of the following three approaches I have used to jot down today's Journal entry;

1. Using a stick attached to a band around my forehead to peck at the keys
2. Dictation via 30%'s supreme typing skills*
3. Child exploitation of TP by making him do it** 

It was an early start and 30% was an absolute angel to get out of bed at half past six to have me over in Droitwich for seven thirty. I was soon wearing a surgical gown and by nine thirty I was lay on the table having large quantities of local anaesthetic  pumped in to my left hand.

15 minutes later it was all done and dusted and I was being monitored for complications before being trundled back to my room. After a quick cuppa and a snooze I called the saintly 30% and she selflessly dropped everything to come and pick up the  ingrate  invalid.

I collected my "Get out of Jail Free Card" Doctor's Note and was soon being chauffeured back to The Pile to spend the day catching up on some TV and sleep on the sofa.

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* He I very much under values me her and he I should show some bloody gratitude and appreciation by going out and buying me her something nice like a Mulberry handbag 
** very much like option 2 but with more shouting