A significant part of my working life was spent estimating how long various tasks would take, identifying appropriate resources and determining costs.
I rapidly learnt that there is no such thing as a five minute job. However simple a task might seem, there is a need to document what needs to be done. Allowances need to made for clarifications and questions. There is the time needed for management, time recording and, of course, procrastination and coffee breaks. When these, and countless other factors, are taken in to account that five minute job will accrue at least a half-day of effort!
So, where am I going with this?
About ten days ago we took delivery of two rather nice wrought iron curtain poles. They are beautifully constructed, and will compliment our windows much better than the plastic tracks, from which our curtains currently hang.
These poles have been carefully stored under the settee, until I a) summoned up the courage to fit them, or b) could find no further excuse not to fit them!
Unfortunately I have run out of urgent tasks that need to be completed, AND 30% has started to make polite, but less than subtle, enquiries about when the poles will be fitted.
So, today I made a start on putting up the poles.
I've already explained the reasons why there is no such thing as a five minute job, and I have spent many hours going through the various problems I was likely to encounter completing this particular job. I should point out that the cottage was built around 1700 and you haven't got a clue what lies behind the plaster work!* Basically I was about to start a job that I knew was highly unlikely to be straightforward.
The first phase of the work was some careful measuring and marking out of the position for the first bracket. The bracket is affixed with two screws, and the lower of these will be inserted in to the brickwork.** The second screw needed to be inserted in to an oak beam that surmount the window frame.
The beam is slightly recessed, which necessitated me having to construct an oak spacer to allow the curtain pole bracket to fit flat against the wall.
That might sound simple, but knocking up a wedge shaped spacer from oak took me the best part of two hours and involved a minor service to my table saw and belt sander, and a trip to Screwfix for a new sanding belt.
Did I mention that there is no such thing as a five minute job?
By mid afternoon, any enthusiasm I had was gone. I can't believe I am saying this, but I was relieved to head off to the dentist, and spend forty five minutes in the chair having the preparation work for a crown!
I'll get back to the curtain pole tomorrow.
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* Many years ago, when we were refurbishing The Pile, I removed the plaster from the walls in the Dining Room. This room was built in the early nineteenth century, and was clearly constructed from whatever came to hand. As the brickwork was revealed, I came across a block of timber that had been mortared in, in place of a couple of bricks. Over the years the block of wood had dried out and contracted. As I carefully removed it form the wall I noticed that it's upper surface was covered with dead beetles. Obviously the wood had been infested with larvae when it was put in to the wall. Over time the larvae had pupated and hatched. When the adults had emerged, they had no escape route and had spent the following two hundred years entombed in our wall. It was quite a macabre find.
** Well! I say "brickwork," Christ knows what is actually behind the plaster. It could be lime mortar or something even less substantial!
