Day of Rest - My ar.........

TP had an away match today and needed to be up on top of the Cotswolds at 10 o'clock sharp this morning. This meant that an alarm had to be set and since I have to set one on most days of the week setting one on Sunday really does go against the grain.

So, off we went and arrived at the Rugby Club. I have visited the locale several times with TP's previous team and, when the weather is bad, it is the most god forsaken, wind blown, exposed hell holes of a place on Earth. This is made worse by the fact that they are an incredibly good team and tend to walk over most opposition.

Today was different in one respect, the weather was beautiful. It is probably best that I don't say any more.....

..... back home we lunched and then I took T&M out for a walk round the "three miler" This was their usual constitutional which involves wading through as many ditches and puddles as possible and, when they are not up to their midriff in mud, they are sampling any horse shit they can find.

I got my own back when we arrived home and threw them in their bath!

On the curing front the bacon needed to be removed from the box, rubbed with more cure, rotated and replaced in the fridge. As can be seen in the following picture,an amazing amount of liquor is "pulled" from the meat by the cure.

I suppose it doesn't look that appetising but  there is no odour other than the smell of the aromatics in the cure.This liquid is poured off and the pieces of meat or flitches are re-salted.

As can be seen, the meat is already changing colour and texture as the cure takes effect and fluid is extracted from the meat. Once re-salted the piece of meat that is at the bottom is moved to the top to allow each piece equal potential to dry cure.

This will continue for the next five or six days but, don't worry, I'm not going to subject you to a daily snapshot of a piece of curing meat.

Before I finish I do have one observation. Many curing recipes call for Kosher salt - doesn't that seem a little odd?

What do I do with 10 Kg of damp salt?

Today is day 10 of 10.

For the past week and a half a leg of pork has been sat in a box full of salt with a loosely fitting lid weighed down with a few house bricks.

Don't worry the inside is spotless.

I was quite apprehensive having never done this before and wondered what would await me under the salt. There was no smell just lots and lots of compressed, damp salt that needed to be excavated and put in a bucket. Lord knows what I can do with it although I'll be laughing if we have heavy frosts or snow and apparently it is a great weed deterrent if it is brushed in to the joints of block paving so I may give that a go.

After some careful digging I unearthed the ham.

It was then simply a matter of washing off the salt with lots of cold water and patting it dry with a paper towel. Once dry it is carefully washed in white wine vinegar and allowed to dry off. It is then double wrapped in muslin and hung in a cool drafty spot for 4 to 6 months to allow the air drying process to complete. I have hung mine out in the garage where I can keep an eye out for anything untoward.

Roll on February.

All being well it should be ready to eat some time between Valentine's day and Easter so its a case of fingers crossed and extreme patience.

Moving to something with a slightly shorter preparation time, I picked up a side of Pork today to be made in to bacon.  For the anatomically challenged I have managed to knock up a quick sketch showing the approximate location of a Side of Pork

Basically the "side" is a roughly square section of pork running from the spine to the mid line of the belly. It comprises loin from up by the spine which gives back bacon and the belly which gives us streaky. Funnily enough the meat between the belly and the loin give us "Middle Bacon". It looks like this in the flesh ....

This side weighed just over 7 Kg fresh or 15 and a half pounds in "old money". It will loose some weight during the curing process but should provide somewhere in the region of 13 to 14 lbs of bacon.


The great thing about curing a side is that the resultant rashers are very long and are back bacon at one end and run through middle to streaky at the other. So, where do we go from here ....

... The first thing to do is to cut it up in to three pieces that are more manageable to handle and obviously increase the surface area and therefore reduce the chance of the cure failing. Each piece is then thoroughly massaged with the cure mixture. This is basically 3 parts salt to one part brown sugar with added aromatics. I use black peppercorns, bay and coriander but there many other flavours that can be used.

The left end is back bacon, the right is streaky. Guess what the middle is called.

Once a few good handfuls of cure have been rubbed in the section of side is placed in a non-metallic box.

The remaining two pieces are given the same treatment and are stacked on top.

The box is covered and is placed in a refrigerator. Every day for the next five or six days the pork will be removed and any liquor poured off.  Each piece will be massaged with more cure and returned to the box.


By the end of the week I will have what is called Green Bacon which is "un-smoked" in Supermarket speak.

That was better.

The two Projects I have been assigned to, in my new role, have reached a stage where my activities cease, or at least diminish, and others take over.

A consequence of this is that this working week has had approximately 30% fewer hours and required about 50% of the mental effort of the preceding five weeks. I am therefore considerably less frazzled than I usually am on a Friday evening.

The change of pace has allowed me to assemble supper during my lunch break so its Delia's Smoked Fish Pie for 30% and me. TP has a couple of friends over for a sleep-over tonight so we will hurl a couple of pizzas and some fries in their direction and let them do a reasonable impersonation of a pack of wolves around a deer carcass before retiring to their lair for yet more electronic death and destruction courtesy of Microsoft's X-Box.

Today is day #9 of 10 which means that the ham, currently being salted in the garage, will go through the next stage of the curing process - more on that tomorrow.

Whilst in the curing vein, I also need to nip in to Stratford tomorrow and pick up a side of rare breed pork that I ordered a couple of weeks back. I took ten minutes today to make some cure mixture as I have a suspicion that it gives the bacon a better flavour if the salt and sugar has time to absorb some of the essential oils from the peppercorns and bay leaves that are ground and mixed in.

I'm guessing that tomorrow's entry will be predominantly pork based - vegetarian's  LOOK AWAY NOW!

A crafty one out the back with Mr H Robinson, or ......

........  Smoking bacon the Bad Man way.

Before we start the Cat's Brief has pointed out that I should say lots of things along the lines of "if you try this don't blame me if it goes wrong and you get ill or die".  I'd like to add that Tesco or Danepak definitely don't produce their bacon this way but the stuff Great Grandma and Grandpa used to eat certainly came from a process like this.

So where do I start; a piece of pork loin has been dry cured in a salt/sugar/spice cure for about 6 days. It has been soaked in water for about an hour then dried, wrapped and hung in the garage for a further 8 days. Here it is in its nice little muslin jacket

It is unwrapped and a hook is inserted ..........

...... and then hung from a rod in the chimney.

What part of Santa is that ?

In the hearth a small charcoal fire is lit. No coal is used as that will taint the meat. Once the charcoal has that barbecue ready look it is raked out and a good couple of handfuls of oak sawdust is thrown on top. This is the point where it gets counter intuitive. Before I started smoking I spent my life lighting fires that burn beautifully. When smoking you want a fire that smoulders; enough heat to cause the sawdust to smoke but not too much or the meat will cook not smoke.

And that is all there is to it. Tend the fire for the next three or four hours adding more fuel or sawdust as necessary or damping down with a water spray if flames appear.

Here it is after smoking. The colour change is a result of the smoking process and can be quite marked depending on how long the cut is smoked for. The one thing that I cannot convey is the smell. An amazing smoky aroma with an element of cooling bonfire.

All that is left to do now is slice it and eat it or refrigerate or freeze.

The taste is fantastic.You can pick up the sweet and saltiness of the cure accompanied by the peppercorns and bay leaves, the smoke is there too but there is still a remnant of pork flavour. It doesn't just have that commercial homogenous bacon flavour.

Quick, Hide the evidence..........

This evening saw me pop round to Cathy's to pick up half a pig. I reckon I actually got more than half or she needs to have her holding checked over with a Geiger counter because I have four trotters and a complete head. I have therefore uprated my half to about 56% rather than phone the National Enquirer about a two headed, eight legged, porcine monster that has savaged the community and been killed by a SWAT team at the end of a 12 hour rampage of blood and gore ...........

........... well, it could have happened like that.

It came to £68 and 30% estimates that it is no more that £1 per 1 lb which is a great deal provided you can store the meat. Fortunately we are a 3 freezer household and they are all full now.

The hind leg looks fantastic and I have already 'phoned Dad to borrow Grand Dad's boning knife and I have also scrounged some ply to make a box for the salting stage of the ham curing. More on that once I get started. At the moment the leg is resting in the fridge for a day or so until I find the 2 or 3 hours I need to get it all going.

Tomorrow I plan to smoke a couple of cuts of the bacon that I cured. Working from home is great as I work near the Inglenook and can keep one eye on the smoking fire to make sure it doesn't burn too hot. It is not a sophisticated process; the bacon is hung on hooks and suspended from a rod in the chimney. A very small, smokey fire is lit and kept burning for 3 or 4 hours. End result, lightly smoked bacon. More on that tomorrow.

Cathy also advised that Village Idiot has been released from Hospital as they have decided that he has not had a heart attack. He does suffer from a muscle wasting disease and apparently exertion caused an unusual heart rhythm which was mistaken for an attack.

This is obviously good news but I am having problems assembling a sentence which has "VI" and "exertion" in it. It must have been one hell of a brook trout that took his worm on Thursday evening - that's all I can say.

Weekend or "weak" end

After a very busy week at work trying to be efficient, whilst

a) infected with plague brought in to the house by TP, and
b) not really having a clue what I am supposed to be doing - new job, remember

neither 30% nor I wanted a particularly hectic weekend.

I woke early on Saturday and I mean early - 5.30 - I am knackered and full of snot and really want a lie in and my mind is saying "wake up Badman its the weekend" whilst my body is saying - actually I cant print what my body is saying because it is about 400 sequential expletives.

The mind won so I got up and settled in front of the early TV News and drank several double espressos. This got me to the point of walking upright on the evolutionary progress chart - you know - the one a couple behind the guy with the spear.

I'm not sure I like the way that Chimp is looking at me!

I then had an hour or so of work to get out of the way so I could forget work for 48 hours. By 9.30 my obligations to Dante's were fulfilled and the weekend was mine.

TP was going to spend the day in town with some mates so I ferried them in leaving the rest of the day a blank canvas.

A fine day was spent pottering around. New shelves were put in the garage. Shelves were filled, clutter removed. The day ended with a bonfire and that feeling of self satisfaction of achieving loads of things and feeling somewhat rested too.

Sunday morning was spent watching TP at rugby practice then home for lunch and a bit more tidying in the garage, The lawn got a bit of a trim and the dogs got walked. I then settled down for a bit of cooking. I had found a recipe on the internet for Lincolnshire haslet - a spiced pork meatloaf and was tempted to try it.

It was a bit of an odd recipe involving mincing pork and onions and combining them with lots of dried herbs and seasonings and slightly stale bread that has been soaked in water and squeezed dry but the end result is most pleasing and will definitely be added to the recipe folder. The pork loin that I started curing last Monday was also removed from the fridge, washed and soaked for an hour before being wrapped and hung up the garage for a week or so. There are 3 pieces of bacon, each just over 1 lb in weight. I sure at least one of them will get smoked sometime early next week.

30% says I am a carnivore who regards vegetables as garnish. This is not true - actually it is - but I eat raw carrots and celery just to spite her.

Kitchen Stuff

Yesterday evening saw me pricking a pound of sloes with a cocktail stick before throwing in enough sugar to kill a diabetic and the best part of a litre of cheap gin.

All of this was carefully placed in a Kilner type preserving jar and will be shaken every day for the next week or so and then left for at least three months, preferably more. The end result is a sweet liqueur that tempts even the most ardent Gin Hater. I have a bottle left over from last year's harvest and can confirm that,although great from the start, continues to improve with age. It looses some of the sweetness and subtle undertones of other hedgerow flavours appear.

I also topped up the Blackberry Vodka  - this is a similar preparation but involves Brown Sugar, Cloves and Cinnamon Sticks. I've never made it before so haven't a clue what it will be like. I love blackberries and am hoping that I will end up with a sweet, fruity yet slightly spiced liqueur. I started a batch off with some of the first blackberries back in the middle of August. That will be ready for straining and bottling in mid November, so only a couple of months to go before judgment can be passed.

30% had been to Tesco and returned home with a bag full of things that don't, on first impression, appear to make a meal. I then discovered that Pork Loins were this week's "special" so I ended up making a batch of cure* and rubbing it in to a large boned loin joint. Each day over the next 5 or 6 days it will be rubbed with more cure and put back in a cool place. At the end of the week it will be unsmoked or "green" bacon. The loin produces back bacon and for a little effort great rewards can be reaped.

At the end of the curing process it is soaked for an hour and dried. I then tend to wrap it and hang it out in the garage for about a week before either eating, freezing or smoking it.

Dad gave us a bag of shallots from his garden so these will be soaked in brine overnight and then washed and pickled in vinegar. I think 30% plans to kick that off this evening.

TP and I have Dog Training this evening so I will have limited time for things culinary.

Right - now it's time for a quick coffee and work.

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For anyone interested the cure is 3 parts salt to one part brown sugar plus cracked black peppercorns, crushed bay leaves and ground coriander

And, Relax.

Yesterday saw a rare visit by 30%'s sister and her boyfriend. They are not particularly close but get on well enough so we had a leisurely morning in the garden drinking coffee and exchanging news. Time did what it does so well and flew by. Before we knew it it was half past lunch and we were starving.

30% and I were suffering from a large dose of "can't be arsed" and therefore decided that we should try out the less picturesque of the two pubs in the village rather than rustle up some lunch. The village grapevine had suggested it was well worth a visit as the food was good and the prices were reasonable.

Now with this pub you need to be very careful about how you treat this news as it changes hands more frequently than your average person changes their socks so just because it was good last week when a dog walking acquaintance found it to be "serving excellent pub grub in relaxed and informal surrounds" means nothing. We could well be heading towards a Gastro Pub that has eye watering prices and decides that you really want to see 20% food and 80% plate or even worse a Harvester!

Fortunately it was still under the same Management Team and the food was good. We only had a light lunch but I am tempted back by the menu description of a Ham Hock served on an Apple and Mustard Mash. Probably more "winter warmer" that light Summer Supper but with English weather I should be able to report back within the next few days.

The afternoon saw a tramp round the lanes with Tyson & Marauder and then I retired to the garage for an hour or so to tinker with my latest project.

I have previously mentioned that the Vespa is in an expensive Cheltenham Private Clinic undergoing exotic and expensive treatments as it rightly deserves so my other neglected bike is having to undergo a more "herbal" or DIY approach on its journey to road worthiness. The fairings are off, the plugs are out and the oil drained. I'm now at the point where I need to start putting things back. In a few days it will be a gallon of unleaded, a turn of the key and a push of the starter if all goes to plan.

I had been appointed chef for the evening so I knocked up a Spaghetti Carbonara with eggs from the hens and a piece of bacon that I had cured and smoked a couple of months ago. A side salad and a glass of weak battery acid - sorry a light white wine - suited it well enough.

I've been curing bacon for a while now and am really pleased with the results I have been getting. Done properly there is nothing finer that a decent bacon sandwich and I was getting more and more disillusioned with the excuses for bacon most shops sell. I have had some premium stuff and it is very good but expensive and still short of the mark so I dug out a recipe from the Internet and set to. All of my attempts were edible and deemed good by those in the know but a little trial and error plus a heap of encouragement from a Rare Breed Pig Farmer and Butcher and we are now producing some excellent bacon.

At the moment I don't have a Bacon Slicer so have to slice it by had with a knife - Shame that - I cant get it wafer thin and have to put up with 4 - 5mm thick slices of home cured and smoked bacon. This leads me neatly on to one of my bacon sandwich theories or perhaps metrics. I feel that there is an important bread : bacon ration that once attained or exceeded turns a mediocre sarnie in to a butty of distinction.

This isn't complicated. This is how you do it. Take bacon from fridge and start to cook it. That's it - all of it. Then start to assemble the sandwich. If you partner gasps and says words to the effect of "Your not putting all of that in one sandwich" or the more succinct "You greedy pig" you are probably getting close to the correct bread : bacon ratio.

On the subject of sauce, you can put what you like with commercial bacon but would you ask for ketchup to go with a perfectly cooked piece of Longhorn sirloin that had been hung for a minimum of 21 days? I think not.

Right, when I made the Carbonara I made sure that I left a few rashers for this morning. Breakfast time I think.