Showing posts with label Dad. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dad. Show all posts

Tuesday 12 October 2010

Lion's teeth

After yesterdays entry I kept a closer eye on the verges as I walked T&M to see what other late season flowers I could spy.

In the church car park I was rewarded with a Geranium species in full flower by the fence near where Village Idiot's cow is pastured. It is one of the Cranesbill species and a splash of colour by the road. Other Autumn flowers included a solitary Buttercup and a Bindweed flower although the latter was definitely past its best and the adjective withered is probably demanded in this sentence.

Dandelions are plentiful and give the title to today's entry. Their name comes from the French Dent de Lion or Lion's Teeth which describes the coarse serrations of the leaves. the French name for the plant is somewhat coarse as well as they know it as "pisalit" or "wet the bed" as the roots are a strong diuretic.

Whilst cogitating on the feline origins of the Dandelion's name I suddenly had a blast from the past. I don't know where it came from - perhaps it was the concept of playing with words and corruptions of them but I recalled some nonsense that Dad used to mention when I was a youngster....


........... He used to refer to a musical instrument called a Banjalorum.

Why do I remember it? Probably because I was a child and it was a silly word and the definition contained an expletive and a grotesque visual image and was therefore hysterical when you were 7 or 8 years old.

"So, what is a Banjalorum Dad?" we would cry .................

............. "Two strings across a cat's arse that are played with your teeth" came the reply - and as kids we would collapse in fits.

I don't know where it originates from and I have never heard of it outside of my immediate family, but it still makes me smile.

Monday 20 September 2010

High Spirits

Crap title but I couldnt think of anything better.

Yesterday saw me taking TP to Rugby practice and I thought I would spend the 90 minutes drinking coffee from a flask and getting cold. In fact I ended up taking part in line-out practices and getting stuck in with the Under 14s. It was good fun and their lack of weight is made up for in suppleness and fitness but me and the two other Dads did manage to take a couple of line outs despite the squad's superior numbers.

It was fun and "yes" I can mange to move this morning.

Popped in to see Dad on the way home and got licked by the new puppy. She is called Tilly and is an absolute delight. Dad and Step Mum are absolutely besotted with her and describe her as the best birthday present ever! She is, of course, spoiled rotten and rules the roost but it is great to see how they are responding to having a new dog - a real breath of fresh air.

Yesterday afternoon saw us invited round to perform a bit of foraging in a local Orchard. C&M are a delightful retired couple who live close by and M decided to spend a portion of C's pension on a 2 acre orchard. It is lovely. She has just purchased a refurbished Shepherd's hut complete with bunk and stove so she can enjoy it at any time.

We reaped a bountiful harvest and came home with cooking apples, blackberries and sloes. We then divided and conquered. 30% produced a few batches of stewed blackberries and apples and I started off a litre of Blackberry Vodka. We were short of gin so will leave the sloe gin until this evening.

Today is work - obviously - but have managed to phone the Land Agents to make an offer on the coppice. It wasn't well received - but it was very low. 30% and I will have a chat later and decide on whether to go higher.

Thursday 5 August 2010

Birthday Present.

Today is my Dad's Birthday. 

If he was a dog he be about 11 years old.

A few weeks back I mentioned that he has decided to have another dog after 15 or more years without one and so this is his Birthday present. He adores Tyson, but she is way too energetic for an elderly Gentleman so it is fortunate that her breed comes in a smaller variety and this is what he has chosen.

I have this afternoon off work and we will be traveling up in to South Staffordshire to pick up the Pup. Yet another coincidence that Tyson & Marauder's joint alias is the "Straining Staffies" and that is where the new pup originates.

On the Home Front the Buff Brahma Cock is now in the fridge. I hope that keeps the Neighbour happy.

It is unfortunate that 30% had become a little attached to him but at least her feelings are eased by the fact that he had a good and long life before he was prepped for dinner. I'm not sure how common knowledge it is but most commercial poultry is killed at around 6 to 7 weeks old*. Free Range Birds are slightly older but rarely more than 12 weeks. Have you ever looked at a Free Range Bird in the Supermarket and gasped when they are asking £9 to £11 for a bird - that is the price of those extra weeks and a field to run round in.

The Buff Lad was about a year old and is probably a bit tough for a roast so I have jointed him and he will make a great casserole, as did the Light Sussex earlier in the week.

On the work front, I finish today and am likely to be off for the best part of a month. I have a minor operation on my hand tomorrow and am then likely to be signed off for a couple of weeks while it heals and am then away for the Family Holiday at the back end of August before starting in a new role at Dante's.

To quote John "Hannibal" Smith; "I love it when a plan comes together"

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* at this age they still cheep rather than cluck and still have baby blue eyes**
** this is the reason I like to rear at least some of the chicken we eat at home

Friday 9 July 2010

All Sorts

Well Yesterday was somewhat monopolised by a lesser Demon from Dante's Inferno. No, he is not even worth the title Demon, Imp's skid mark is probably more appropriate. I spent the day being told stuff that I had told him and his two predecessors, and their Managers, weeks if not months before.

They have finally got the message. I don't understand why it takes so long. I'm mean I am not allowed to punch them in the head and recite the problem with each syllable being timed to a punch. Apparently we have a code of conduct which prevent this educational approach. I am therefore left to produce PowerPoint Presentations, E-mails and documents to describe the issue.

Now I'm not in the same galaxy as professional writers but I can string a few paragraphs together and one of my readers was complimentary about a succinct analysis I recently made in the Journal so I do not understand why it takes months for a real problem to be recognised.

Actually I do. I have had the pleasure to work with some really good Project Managers in my time all very different but all very good. This is not one of those occasions.

So, Yesterday, a 13 hour working day including an hour spent on the M25 travelling 11 miles. Most of the hour was actually spent travelling the first 7 of these. How do you think I handled that? ....

... actually it was OK. The Prius is nice and high and allows me to peer in to peoples cars and I just munched a load of chocolate and crisps and watched the world crawl while I listened to Radio 4.

The only thing that jars is that, by the time you get home and eat, there is very little of the day left for me. I don't count 6 hours in the car as "me time".

Also no Red Kites.

Today, I have found my Mojo and have had a good day pinning things down and getting them passed to the people who need to know, reviewing materials and pointing out how it can be improved. Real work and I feel that I have actually made a difference as compared to yesterday where I am banging my head against an immovable object - My PMs Evolutionary quotient.

You might ask what an Evolutionary Quotient is. I have just invented it. It is a number that indicates how far up the evolutionary tree one is. All species should have an EQ value of 100 i.e. 100 represents that you are 100 percent human or 100% E. coli.  My PM is about 42. In other words Eddy could probably do a better job.

You are probably guessing that I'm not too enamuored with him - and you would be right

Back to today  - I got loads done and had an enjoyable lunch with Dad - he brought home made Tomato soup over and we had a lovely time chatting and keeping up with each others news. He is really excited about his forthcoming birthday present. He doesn't say but I know he is. It will only be three or four weeks more before his puppy arrives and you can see from the way he interacts with Tyson and Marauder how keen he is to have a dog back in his life.

We talked about when I was a child and the Dogs he had then and before; Peggy the ratter and Lassie, Lulu and Fly the three working Border Collie Bitches that my Grandfather had when I was young. Apparently Fly was the best of these and cost £40 back in the early 1960s. That was a lot of money for a dog in those days but she was trained by a local Stock-man and apparently was unbelievable with Cattle and Sheep.

We also pinned down a saying that I recalled from my childhood but wasn't too clear on the details. I have a memory of my Grandfather saying that if you were looking to buy a piece of land you should first tie a donkey to the biggest thistle in the field.

What? I can almost hear you. Basically thistles are deep rooted and like good soil. If the soil is poor or there is bed rock just beneath the surface the thistles will not be good specimens and the Donkey will be left without a tether.

So that is just about it. TP had a successful Sports Day yesterday with two firsts in the 100m and Hurdles and a third in the 800m. I am obviously very proud as I am with the recent School Report which was so good that he actually got the XBox controls returned and I think that the IPod Touch privileges will be reinstated shortly too.

Thursday 24 June 2010

Distance Travelled

Yesterdays entry got me thinking about my family and I only need to go back a generation or two to see how fast the world is changing.

My Grandfather - that's two generations back. He was born in rural Herefordshire on a small farm and was a butcher and cobbler by trade. Fair enough you might say but I have seen one of the first pairs of boots he ever made. He was 9 or 10 years of age and the boot is tiny. My Dad still has it wrapped in an oily cloth to preserver it against the ravages of time. It is now more than 100 years old. He was in the army of occupation after the first world war and apparently filled his pockets with as much German loot as he could find and put it to good use setting himself up as a Market Gardener in the Vale of Evesham between the wars. The second world war was good for him too; shipping veg up to Scotland and illicit cargoes of whisky on the way back. He was never one to miss out on a deal and he wasn't too concerned about the legalities.

He decided that Market Gardening was too labour intensive and went in to Dairy Farming so that was the world I was born in to.

Do you see what I mean? The world I was born in to is completely different to the world I now inhabit and the world that pays my mortgage. Much of my background is alien to the majority of my colleagues. Hedge Laying, castrating lambs and docking their tails, weaning calves from the teat to the bucket, a pig in the sty that is reared for the freezer, haymaking. All of this is me and my Dad and my Grandad. Is it my son?

He loves village life and he is interested in rural life. He will pluck a chicken and has no problem eating it afterwards but there is a disconnect between him and his Grandfather that I feel is larger than the disconnect between me and mine. I know that there will always be change between the generations and I am not the same as my antecedents.

It is just that yesterday's post brought to the surface the journey from an Agricultural / Rural past to a  Commerce / Tech / Rural  present. Imagine referring to a latecomer to a meeting as "Winchcombe" as they hurry in and forget to shut the door behind them.

On a completely different tack, as I strode round the "Three Miler" this evening with T&M I paused and thought how little I would actually move if I didn't have the dogs. Working at home may save a large amount of travelling time and pollute the planet less but it is hardly good for the heart or the waistline. How far would I actually move if I didn't walk the dogs?

Well, the Three Miler is in the region of 5,200 yards if the local name for the walk is anywhere accurate. It takes me just over an hour but I have added bits to it and have created diversions over the fields and up the hill so I'm guessing that based on my rate of walking that is in the region of 3 miles. If I can be arsed I will dig out the Sat Nav one day and take it with me to see if it can get a more accurate distance.

If I didn't do that and worked from home there would be no walk from the car park to the office, the canteen at work is much further than the Coffee machine at home as are the lavatories etc etc. Do you see where I am going? I jotted down these estimates and the result is embarrassing:-

    • making coffee. 10 cups @ 16 yard return journey. 160 yards
    • WC visits. 5 visits @ 20 yard return journey. 100 yards
    • Letting out the chickens. 80 yards
    • Egg Collecting. 2 visits at 40 yards each. 80 yards
    • Shutting up the chickens 80 yards
    • Miscellaneous pottering. 200 yards
 Total Perambulation = somewhere in the region of 700 yards.

That's quite scary. Basically if I didn't have Tyson and Marauder I would need to keep to 7 kilo calories a day or they would be taking me out of here on a forklift and retrieving TV remotes from the folds for the next few weeks.

I dare you to carry out a few honest calcs of your own. Home working may be great for the planet but be careful as it may not be so good for you.

Wednesday 23 June 2010

Dads & Daughters

I don't have a daughter, but my Dad does and he used to recite a rhyme; " A Son is a Son until he finds a wife But your Daughter is a Daughter for the rest of your life".

I suppose it is a commentary on the fact that sons tend to be less involved with their birth family once they marry and have one of their own whilst daughters tend to maintain a strong link with their birth family even after marriage.

Why do I type this? Maybe it is a way of recording something of my Dad. He has many sayings including the classic "You will lie in bed until the crows build a nest in your arse, and then you will wake and wonder how the sticks got there". I could go on at length, including the incredibly local "Oi Winchcombe put the wood in the 'ole!" which relates to a village near where he was born where the houses on the main street all had stable doors and the habit was to leave the top door open so that the passing world could be observed. The phrase is used now to refer to an individual who enters or leaves without closing the door.

He deserves a book rather than a Journal entry and I need to think long and hard before I attempt to put something worthy of him in here. He is a great Dad. He has his faults and failings and can be incredibly annoying at times but he is a great Dad and I need to do him justice. That is a good word because good and bad, something that reflect him in balance.

This week we finally sorted his birthday present. As I mentioned, a couple of days back, Dad has decided, 15 years after the loss of Patch, the family JRT, to have another dog. We - or rather 30% - has located the right breed, the right sex and the right colour and she will be ready literally days before his birthday. She is bred by Tyson's breeder so there is no concern over Puppy Farms or any of the many pitfalls of buying a dog nowadays. A deposit was sent off yesterday - by 30% - to reserve her and Dad was advised to only expect a card for the next 5 years or more.

You will note that 30% seemed to do much of this present sorting. Another of my Dad's sayings is "Why have a dog and bark yourself". For some reason I seem to have developed a sharp pain in my side. That would be 30% reading over my shoulder.

On the subject of dogs, Tyson has come in to her first season so we are excluded from Puppy Training for the next couple of weeks. It can be chaos with 14 or more puppies so imagine what the presence of a young bitch on heat would do!

Puppy class is on Tuesdays and Tyson's maturation was a perfect excuse not to go after a  long day with the customer. I did however manage to demonstrate a new level of meeting etiquette yesterday. I know that I stated that I don't write about work because it is not that interesting but this was mildly amusing.... after presenting to an assembled group for 3 hours I felt a little light headed and started to sweat profusely. I paused, and while the debate about delivery timescales progressed, I took my blood sugar with a portable kit that I carry. Hmm! 2.9 - no wonder I feel vague it should be 5 or slightly higher. That's being a diabetic and not having a break.

I closed my laptop, placed it in it bag and informed the meeting that I was diabetic, that my blood sugar had plummeted and that I needed to leave and eat adding that if I carried on I would make less sense than I had thus far.

That's one way to leave a meeting - especially when you are the lead speaker! Apparently it diffused the tension somewhat and stopped a productive session turning bad.

I'm guessing that its not a tactic that I can use on a regular basis though.

Saturday 29 May 2010

Hiatus

That pretty much summed up the feeling this morning.

We look forward to a week off having both survived a cull and will enjoy the time before we go back in to the fray that is delivery of IT and Network Services to Ingrates.

I woke around 8 and released 20 frustrated chickens who should know by now that I like a bit if a lie in at the weekend. Tyson & Marauder charged around the garden and eventually decided that they would follow the example of the chickens and lay a couple of eggs of their own!

I then retired for a leisurely coffee (Monsoon Malabar) before clambering in the Prius for a run over to my Dad's house. I stopped off for diesel at the nearest petrol station and felt mugged when I had to hand over in excess of £60 for a tank of gas. At 28 - 30 mpg I tend to drive her with a light right foot and with that level of fuel economy diesel need to be bloody cheap for me to consider driving "off route" because it is cheaper elsewhere. Tesco frequently do a 5p off per litre offer when you spend over £50 on groceries. With a 50 litre tank this means that my maximum saving is £2.50. The Prius does about 6 miles to the litre so at 1.25 per litre £2.50 works out at 12 miles of driving. In other words Tesco needs to be on my doorstep to make it worth driving the Prius there to take advantage of the offer.

Now I know that I should drive something more economical but I love her and her ability to consume vast quantities of kids, dogs, animal feed and crap that needs to be taken to the tip. She is also very easy to find in a car park which means that I never have to think about where I've parked her at the zone b, space 23 level - just in the car park near the station.

Right, where was I? Yep - My Dads. He and Step-Mum are off for a week away and I have been trusted to water plants; specifically pots and tomatoes. It was nice to potter round the garden with Dad and pull his leg whilst he was allegedly taking me through my duties. We get on well together and have both reached the stage where we are friends as well as father and son.

With Father away I have a plan. I'm seriously considering nipping out to Halfords for a couple of cans of yellow paint and some body filler. I reckon that with a couple of hours work I can get my lawn mower shiny and yellow. then all I have to do is chuck it in the trailer and take it over to Dads. Swap it out with his new Husquevarna. Job done. He's never going to put me in the frame for it especially with all his tomatoes pert and upright having received more that adequate watering during his week at the sea side. If I'm lucky he might not notice for weeks.

Cue Vincent Price again.

On the subject of Lawn Mowers, 30% is not happy about the terms of my e-Will. I may have to change it with more funds heading in her direction. I have also had to have a word with Potato. You may recall that under my current e-Will Potato and Eddy are trustees of my estate until TP reaches maturity. Potato had plans to invest the funds in the dairy industry specifically in cheese production.

He looked quite upset when I explained that being a Cheese Magnate did not mean that he just lay in the sun and chunks of Cheddar and Edam would be drawn magically towards him. Poor fellow, spelling is not his strong point.

I pointed out that with his feline skills he might be better playing the stock market since shares seem to be a bit like mice. You seem to have to just hang around watching them and only pounce at the right time. On other occasions you seem to have to play with them. Potato lifted his head from licking his bum hole to give this a moments consideration before returning to his ablutions... and people say cats are sophisticated!

Eddy is also not happy about the Trustee arrangement as his shortcomings in the leg department means that the traditional hand in the air voting arrangement will not work in his favour.

As I said I may have to update the e-Will.