Nearly finished

It was another quiet day at the laptop as I polished prose and inserted contributions from colleagues. I fired an updated copy over to IM and he eventually got back to me advising that he had only read half of it but that it looked good.  I'm on target to finish and submit it early next week and then just have the associated Presentation to develop ...

... I'm not sure how I feel about the Presentation. I know my subject and the documentation is accurate and of good quality. I guess I am just worried about "left field" questions putting me off my stroke.*

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* Having read that I have to say that I have managed to produce a dreadful mixed metaphor resulting in the intriguing concept of Baseball with combined Rowing.

This Sounds Expensive

I had an early start this morning as I had to drop the Defender off for a Service and MOT test. I left it in the oily hands of Mark at MP Trading and went about my day. Calls were listened to, documentation was drafted and IM was true to form in that he "totally forgot" that he had agreed to review some material when I gave him a gentle nudge late in the afternoon.

Towards the end of the day I called Mark to see whether the car was ready for collection. He advised that it had passed it's MOT test with only a need for two rear shock absorbers but ...

... it really needed a new ball joint fitting at the front and inspection of the front brake calipers showed that the pistons were corroded. He advised that he could replace the pistons but the labour costs meant that new calipers were actually the more economical repair. It looks like I am going to be driving the courtesy car until Monday as the workshop is very busy and he will need to squeeze it in around a few jobs.

As it says at the top of this entry ...

As Dull as Monday's ditch water

If I thought yesterday was a non-event, today was even worse. I completed the re-write of my documentation and arranged for IM to actually review it properly and provide some feedback. That was it. That was how I spent my entire working day.

To break the massive tedium I did take a walk around the Three Miler with T&M and also had a brief spell pottering in the garage.

The only news of any import is that TP played a rugby match for the school team and managed to damage his little finger within a couple of minutes of running on to the field. The good news was that his team won 15:10, the bad news is that he may have broken his little finger which could mean that he has to defer his Grade 5 Guitar examination. Like the concerned parents we are, we decided to see how it improves over the next day or so before deciding on taking a trip to A&E.

Wordsmithing vs Taxi Driving

Tuesday was a quiet day spent re-drafting a reasonable chunk of my documentation and calling in favours from colleagues where I would like them to make a contribution. As is usual I achieved less than I would have liked but am on target to have a finished product by the beginning of next week.

Away from work I headed out on the Three Miler suitably prepared with scuba gear  and wellingtons. I was disappointed to find that all of the flood waters had subsided apart from a single, shallow fluddle.* It was easily avoided but I wandered through the middle in attempt to justify the discomfort of walking in wellingtons.

In the evening my grumbling stomach told me that the rugby season was definitely here as supper was delayed by a couple of hours to fit in with mid week practice. There also seems to be a significant increase in the demands on Dad's Taxi Service with a pick up from school** and two return trips to the rugby club.

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* fluddle: noun, a pool of standing water too large to be a puddle but too small to be called a flood. A fluddle must be large enough to cover the full width of a road to merit the term.
** one of his bloody mates managed to tear away one of the retaining straps for the tip up seats in the back of the Defender. I swear if I ever meet that child in a darkened alley ...

Splosh

After what seemed like twenty four hours of rain it was another miserable day as I sat down at my desk to start the working week. My motivation levels were still minimal but I had a review call arranged with IM this morning to see whether I had wasted my time last week. True to form IM had failed to read either the meeting invitation or the draft document embedded therein so was typically unprepared for the call. He read through my work on the hoof and advised that I was well on the way but needed to hone my work to have more impact. I am somewhat encouraged by this but the cynic in me would have preferred it if those comments had come after a thorough deliberation rather than a hasty skim through.

Early in the afternoon the rain had eased off somewhat so I grabbed my hat and coat and took T&M for a walk. At a couple of places the roads were ankle deep in water and I had to take to the overgrown verges to avoid getting wet feet...

... However, as I neared home I was confronted by one hundred yards of flooded road and a choice. I could either turn back and walk five miles rather than three or attempt to get through the flood without getting a soaking.  At this point in the route the drainage ditches had filled and were overflowing back on to the road through the gullies that are cut in to the earth verges. I was presented with a narrow strip of overgrown land that I needed to traverse. To my left was a flooded road and to my right was an overflowing ditch. Marauder had already made some investigations of the depth of the flood water and in places it was a foot or more deep.

I started to make my way along the verge and periodically had to step over gurgling gullies that were emptying on to the road. After seventy or eighty yards I was presented with a dilemma. The flood water now covered the verge and my way was now blocked unless ...

I must have a word with the infographics team.

... if I could manage a four foot jump from a standing start I would be able to clear the flooded ditch and use the fence on the other side as a horizontal ladder to clear the last few yards of flood water. I leapt with a rare degree of grace and landed with the tiniest of splashes. I was still quite dry and all I needed to do now was clamber along the fence past the deepest part of the flood. T&M obligingly followed getting very wet. My plan was working and after thirty feet I could see the road rising from the flood waters. All I needed to do now was jump back across the ditch and I would be home dry within a quarter of an hour. I turned so that I was facing the span and again jumped from a standing start. I landed right at the very edge of the flooded ditch and time slowed as my left foot lost it's grip and slid down in to the depths ...

... my leg went in right up to mid thigh and it was a very soggy walk back through the village.

Filling Time

Bright eyed and bushy tailed we all loaded ourselves in to the car for the regular Sunday morning trip to the Rugby Club. 30%, T&M and I took off for a walk around the fields and woods whilst TP trained. We got back to the pitches around eleven to be instantly pressed in to signing a permission slip ...

... it appeared that the Under 17s were short of players and TP had volunteered to move up a year group and help out. He joined the game for the second half and ended up out on the right wing where he had a reasonable game. He didn't really get to run with the ball but made a good few tackles and no mistakes. The only downside to this first game of the season was that the rain started about twenty minutes before the final whistle and we were all quite soggy by time we climbed back in to the car.

I had nothing planned for the rest of the day and found myself out in the garage where I sorted out some lengths of old elm floorboards to be recycled in to a mirror frame. Last week 30% found an old bevelled mirror glass at the Charity Shop where TP volunteers and, with a little time and effort, it will be converted from junk in to a reproduction antique. I spent an hour or so dismantling the mirror and trimming the boards to a consistent width. I also cut some elm plugs and used these to fill any nail holes that would otherwise be visible in the finished piece...

... a few worm holes add character but a nail hole just looks shite.

Junk or Raw Materials?

Air Dried Ham: Day 282

Around the middle of December last year I bought a leg of pork with the aim of producing another air dried ham. After three weeks packed in salt it was washed in white wine vinegar, lovingly wrapped in a muslin shroud and hung up in the rafters of the garage to dry. Now nearly nine months later it was time to examine the fruits of my labours ...

After nine months hanging in the garage a dark green mould could be seen through the muslin wrapping.  Mind you, in view of some of the recent projects, it could just be an accretion of sawdust.

After unwrapping it was apparent that the mould was restricted to the cut surface of the ham. The skin was spotless, incredibly hard and a deep tan in colour.

There was absolutely no odour emanating from the ham and the next stage was to give it a thorough washing in white wine vinegar before paring away the outer surface. It was then a case of lugging the bacon slicer in to the kitchen and loading the ham in to the cradle.

 The first few slices were very dry and more akin to Jerky than ham but after a few more cuts we were rewarded with millimetre thin slices of a prosciutto type delicacy. It has a robust flavour with a saltiness that screams out for an accompaniment of wine or beer. I think it fair to say that I'll be starting the cure on another in the next month or so.

Lacking Enthusiasm

In an attempt to get some feedback on the documentation that has been my focus this week I fired off a copy to a senior colleague and also set up a review meeting with IM early next week. The lack of clarity on what is required is a great demotivator and, to be honest, I did very little other than that in the final working day of the week.

At lunchtime I hitched up the trailer to the Defender and set of for the centre of Worcester to pick up the slate hearthstone. I took the trailer as I had no idea how heavy the stone would be and didn't fancy wrestling it in and out of the Land Rover if it weighed a ton. I also took the view that if it was really heavy it could just sit in the trailer until Chippy Ian was ready to fit it. I subsequently found out that it was a manageable weight and took the stone mason's advice that it would be safer in the car where it stood less chance of being bounced around...

... I will obviously require TP's assistance to unload it before rugby training on Sunday.

The rest of the day was uneventful and in the evening we decided that cooking was not for us and took a wander down the road to see what was on offer at one of the local hostelries. We walked in to receive a number of "what are you doing in here" type looks from a group of drinkers at the bar and then headed towards the restaurant area which was ominously dark and quiet. It appears that it has, yet again, changed hands and the last management team removed all kitchen equipment on their departure* ...

... As a result we drove to a local that has very little atmosphere but has two massive advantages; it is very close to home and serves decent food at a reasonable price. There is nothing there that encourages one to linger so once our appetites were sated we headed back home and were relaxing on the sofa a few minutes before nine o'clock. It might seem a little lame to be home so early but, after a fairly busy week, popping out for a quick supper and then being able to chill on the sofa seems like the best of both worlds.

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*This is not the first time that we have had this type of experience there and explains why we are such infrequent visitors. It really is a case of changing hands every couple of months.

Picture Post No. 17

Thursday was even more tedious than Wednesday and my frustration level is increasing as I fail to get any feedback on the work I am doing.  I have therefore opted for a Picture Post rather than continue to moan about work.

This little fellow was snapped at the San Diego Zoo back in 2006 and is a fair representation of what I would much prefer to be doing.

A Quickie

Not a lot to report for today; more words got typed but I have no idea whether I am producing literary genius or complete and utter bollocks. I really need to get an hour with Idiot Manager and get him to review the stuff and advise accordingly. I know that it is not exactly what he wants but I need to get a steer on whether I am heading in the right direction or so lost it would need military satellites to track me down. IM is one of the assessors of this piece of work and, for once, his opinion might actually be of some value.

Putting work to one side, I knocked off at a very civilised four o'clock as I needed to collect TP and one of his mates from school after rugby practice. I killed two birds with one stone by taking a slight diversion and dropped an old pine trunk over at Dave the Strippers. It is quite a nice old piece and is a great place to store the Christmas decorations but at some point in it's history it has either been stained or polished with a very dark wax. It is not a nice colour but a quick dip in Dave's tank should soon put that right.

Nose to the Grindstone

Today was most definitely not an exciting day and, to be honest, I don't expect much from the rest of the week either. I have been sat in front of the laptop drafting and redrafting documentation. I really need to get this job done and it will benefit me but I really don't like doing it. As a result I have to goad and bribe my self in to completing this task ... "No bad man, you can't have another cup of coffee until you've finished this section" or the traditional "Come on you lazy Fuck, you know it will be worth it in the end".

As a bit of an aside, as I was typing the preceding sentences I mistyped laptop and instead found myself sat in front of the alp top. Now that would have been splendid. I could really enjoy a few hours of Mountain views rather than this head scratching, keyboard pecking torture.

At the end of the day I had completed less than I had hoped for but more than I had achieved on Monday so at least I am heading in the right direction. I just hope that the material is up to scratch.

Away from work; I had my annual flu jab, the dogs got walked and TP was taken to evening rugby practice. I even found time to pop over to see BMS and SMS to drop off the photographs of Tilly.

As I said in the opening paragraph; not the most exciting of days.

Catching Up

I find myself watching the sun set on Monday and note that I haven't made a Journal entry since Thursday Last.  To be honest I have been just plain lazy so here is my attempt to make amends with a round up of the last few days.

Friday 
I managed to finish the piece of work off for the Americans by lunchtime and consequently had an easy slide in to the weekend ... well I would have if we hadn't got guests over for supper this evening. It was therefore a manic couple of hours as TP and I got the house looking straight before 30% arrived home from work. Our guests were Bond, Moneypenny, Rosie, Jim and their progeny. We had a lovely Friday evening catching up on each other's news and there was copious drink and laughter. 30%'s 24 hour roast leg of pork must get a mention here as it was absolutely delicious and was served like a mini indoor Hog Roast in baps with relishes and all the trimmings. As usual it was a "late one".

Saturday
As is now the norm I was tasked with taking TP in to Redditch for his voluntary session at the local Charity Shop. I combined the trip with a few chores and returned home with a new pair of jeans and sundry items from the DIY store. To be honest we had a fairly lazy morning day and the most significant activity was collecting the photos of T&M on our way in to pick TP up at lunchtime. The photos are great and it looks like I may be out in the workshop soon to make up a set of three frames as 30% has found just the spot for these family portraits. Actually this is definitely a new entry on the "to do" list as 30% returned from collecting TP from the Charity Shop clutching a large bevelled mirror. It's frame was in very poor condition but the mirror itself was lovely so it looks like I will be out in the workshop making four frames.

After lunch I took T&M for a wander around the Three Miler whilst 30% dropped TP off at a music festival being hosted by one of the nearby villages. He disappeared with two cans of Carling Black Label and strict instructions to a) not get drunk and b) make sure he got his arse on the eleven o'clock bus that night ...

... unbelievably he managed both!

Sunday
Sunday morning was consumed by Rugby Practice so 30% and I filled the time  by wandering over the fields of the local estate with T&M.

In the latter part of the day we were at home to visitors and received 30%'s brother and GF for afternoon tea and Jules arrived to join us for Sunday Dinner.

Monday
It looks like I may have a quiet week which is good as I have a few things that I really need to complete but first I had to be the dutiful father and take TP in to Birmingham Dental Hospital. His Dentist is concerned that some play fighting several years ago damaged a front tooth and that root canal work is required to ensure he keeps his smile intact. Specialist Consultation was required before the treatment plan commenced ...

... putting this in to plain English translates to us spending 3 hours enduring Birmingham's rush hour and paying £6.50 in car parking fees for an appointment that took forty minutes including the spell in the waiting room. The good news is that they are confident that the work is within the scope of his normal dentist and that the treatment will be carried out much closer to home.

The remainder of the day was spent in front of the laptop and ended abruptly with  significant swearing when a "session time out" lost the best part of an hour's work.

... and another

Today went reasonably well from a work perspective. I have given the American Team two out of the three cost deliverables they require and the outstanding one should be available within the next twenty four hours. All being well they will have a lovely weekend putting all those numbers in to a model while I have to endure the social whirlwind that 30% will have arranged for me.

Putting work to one side I can report that the timber arrived for the dining room skirting boards and joist reinforcements but the promised call back from the Stonemason about the hearthstone didn't happen...

... one more duck and I will have a row of them.

One step closer

Today I was head down for most of the day on a  new piece of work. We need to get some estimates pulled together very quickly to placate an upset client and attempt to oust a competitor. Fortunately much of the work will be done by my US colleagues and all I need to do is assist with some costing guidance. To use a culinary analogy; I'm out doing some of the shopping and they are stuck in the kitchen attempting to deliver haute cuisine.

When I wasn't on the 'phone or begging favours from colleagues I seemed to be making several cups of coffee for Paul the Plumber.  He was in to replace the radiators and pipework in the Dining Room before the floor is put down. The timber for the skirting boards and joist reinforcement arrives tomorrow, so all I need to do is get a date for the collection of the hearthstone and I can start nudging Chippy Ian to come and put it all together.

How the other half live

I found myself crawling out of bed at five o'clock this morning in order to be in London for a nine o'clock start. For reasons that are still not not fully understood I had been invited to the launch of a new Business Unit at Dante's Nine Circles of Hell. So I turned up at the appointed hour suited and booted, I registered at reception and affixed my name badge. After the obligatory bad coffee and mini pastries I wandered in to the Presentation Room found a seat and for once paid attention ...

... The Event was launched by one of the most Senior Daemons at Dante's and after a couple of minutes it was apparent that this was an auspicious occasion where three separate groups had been joined to form a new Business Unit. One of the aforementioned groups has a bit of a reputation in Dante's for a high degree of extravagance and it was apparent on this occasion where the Agenda included a free lunch and an end of day free drinks and networking session. There was also a massive amount of branded goods left lying around for attendees to stuff in to their laptop cases.

Working in a far, far more financially constrained Circle of Hell* I must admit that the Cynic in me thought that it would be a long, long time before this lot were dishing out free sandwiches and drinks again now they had Revenue and Profit targets. I did my best to educate them in the need to rein in their profligacies ...

... today's haul included two USB Memory Sticks, a pen, a leather business card wallet, a pocket sized USB mouse, an A5 hardback notebook and  a leatherette A5 Journal and pen.**

The laptop bag was so heavy I considered employing a Sherpa to haul it back to the Tube Station for me!

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* a Severance programme every year for the past three years
** All goods featured subtle corporate branding

Back to it.

Monday; the first day of the working week, the key word there is “working”. After a fortnight off work I am back at my desk clearing e-mails and trying to work out what I will be doing over the next few weeks.

I had the fortunate situation of finishing my last piece of work on my last day before my holiday started and therefore there was not likely to be anything to do on that Project unless something had gone seriously awry. I appreciate that my Indian colleagues had made some ridiculous requests as I was about to finish but these would have either been completed by my buddy or have been thrown back at them as unachievable. Either way I wasn’t going to have to hit the ground running today.

After a trawl though my mail and a couple of instant messages it was apparent that I need to be in London tomorrow for a Security Services Sales Briefing.* After initiating the appropriate travel authorisations I carried on with the mission of completing all of those certification and review activities that had accumulated over the past two weeks.

On the Project front I noticed a flurry of communications about some impending work with a Client I have met with a few times over the past few months in deepest, darkest Dudley. It looked as though I was to be providing a supporting role on that deal but a call with Idiot Manager soon put me right … this was not the gig for me. This was a little bitter sweet as, although I was not really looking forward to carrying a supporting role, I have had a quiet year*** so far and a win would have been nice whatever role I was fulfilling.

The conversation with IM continued with him giving the briefest mention to my next project before taking an interesting turn…

… perhaps more on this in the next few weeks.

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* I cannot tell you how excited I am about that **

** If anyone from America reads this it might be worth looking up the definition of the word sarcasm about now

*** A Global Deal lost and a handful of early bid stage successes but no final signatures

A Quiet Day

After a week at home Sunday was our last day of leisure before it is a case of "back on yer 'eads lads". In the morning we took TP to rugby practice and enjoyed a lengthy walk with T&M over the fields and through the woods on the nearby Estate.  The dogs got filthy and, as Tyson insists on attempting to climb in to the front of the Defender, I put aside some time in the afternoon to refit the dog guard.

The only other things worth mentioning was that the new pullets were let out in to their run today and unusually seemed to have enough intelligence to find their way back in to the coop at nightfall. * I also cleared the underfloor area around the radiator pipes in the Dining Room as Paul the Plumber is due to visit at some point this week to get them replaced.

I may have fitted in a snooze too.

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*In the past scrambles in a dark run with a torch have been necessary to ensure less astute chickens were safe from the fox.

and this one wasn't any better

It was a reasonably early start today as TP needed to be dropped off in Redditch where he will be completing the Volunteering element of his Duke of Edinburgh Bronze Award. For the next few months he will be assisting at a local Charity Shop and I was tasked with taxiing him in this morning. I made the best of this trip and managed to pick up a few groceries, order timber from the Builders Merchants, collect Chicken Run repair necessities from the DIY store and buy a couple of chicken drinkers from a feed store too. With that level of productivity I was panicking at the thought of what would be expected of me for the rest of the day.

Back at The Pile I changed down a couple of gears and drank coffee before wandering out the the garden to repair the obstinate gate on one of the chicken runs. After  the installation of a new hinge and latch and a couple of runs with an electric planer it was restored to full functionality ...

... the reason behind this flurry of poultry related activity is the new batch of pullets. They are currently shut in a coop to get used to their new home but, when let out, their run needs to be separated from the old lags to avoid any bullying until they are big enough to look after themselves.

A little before midday 30% popped out to collect TP and I continued with my efforts until the 'phone rang. It was the Vet and it wasn't good news, unfortunately Tog had stopped breathing during the operation and failed to respond to resuscitation attempts. I was left to break the bad news upon her return.

The rest of the day understandably progressed under a leaden sky ...

... the chicken run was netted to prevent youthful escapees and a grave was dug for young Tog.

Not the best of days ...

It wasn't the best start to the day when we discovered that Tog had been hit by a car. He clearly had a broken tail and was in a lot of pain but was still able to walk so it was straight in to the Vets for a consultation. After a couple of x-rays he was put on a drip and is under observation with a possibility of surgery tomorrow morning. The reason for the observation period is that a broken tail can sever the nerves that control bladder function and we could end up with either an incontinent cat or one that cannot urinate, either way euthanasia would be the only option. It is a case of fingers crossed that there no nerve damage and that he will go under the knife tomorrow to remove his tail and reattach the ruptured diaphragm.

Later in the morning Bad Man Senior and I went in to the wilds of Shropshire in search of chickens. It was a return to The Gobbets Rare Breed Centre where we purchased our first birds seven years ago. This time we picked out three Red Black Araucanas, two Barnevelders, a couple of Light Sussex and a pair of Brown Leghorns. to go with the three Marans that we acquired earlier in the week.

It was then home for lunch and an afternoon walk with T&M. For much of the Summer we have been avoiding the fields as it has been so wet but in the past couple of days we have finally been able to walk over the fields without getting a soaking. The dogs seem to enjoy the change and can charge around without the need for automotive vigilance.

30% popped up to the Vets, while I was walking, to take Tog some grapes and reported back that he was much brighter but, as yet, he had not peed. This suggest that he isn't incontinent but we still need to know whether he can actually urinate.

We finished the day with a drive up to the Why Not for an early supper, As the title says; it wasn't the best of days but sometimes you just have to do what you need to do.

They're only flat at the bottom!

Today's main objective was to pick up the oak from the flooring supplier in Stratford so I hitched the trailer up to the Defender and set out a little after ten o'clock. As pack after pack of boards was removed from the store I wondered about the capabilities of the trailer and have to admit that the tyres did look a little under inflated as I drove home at a sedate thirty five miles an hour...

... I realised why the trailer looked to be overloaded when it came to me single handedly unloading and it dawned on me that I had been carrying over a quarter of a tonne of wood! The seventeen square metres are now sitting in the Dining Room where they will acclimatise for a couple of weeks before Chippy Ian comes to fit them. All that is needed now is the carcassing timber to stabilise the floor joists and a few lengths of 150 mm x 25 mm PAR softwood which will be routed to match the skirting boards in the rest of the house. I plan to get that ordered from the Builders Merchant on Saturday when I take TP in to Redditch.

The rest of the day was pretty leisurely with nothing more strenuous than a walk with the dogs and I finally got around to culling the old hens...

... The local foxes will be having a feast tonight.