Another quiet day

It was another quiet day today, so my key accomplishments were to go and get myself 1,000 shotgun cartridges and mow the lawn.

The quantity of cartridges might seem a little excessive until one notes that a morning's clay shooting will comprise one hundred sporting clays.  Today's shopping will therefore only keeping me going for ten outings.  Actually even less, as Grubby Mark and I are going on a simulated game day in a couple of weeks and the expectation is that we will go through five hundred cartridges over the course of that day.

I've only ever shot game once before on a soaking wet day last December.  A simulated game day is something new and, by the scant details squeezed from Mark, it basically sounds like a bunch of people with shotguns firing at a torrent of incoming clays over the course of the day.*

It's only a week away, so watch out for an update.

Finally, on a completely unconnected subject, what on earth is going through the minds of the people at the AA?  About a year ago I cancelled my subscription to their roadside assistance service.  There are lots of reasons why, but principally it's because I get a no claims discount on my car and bike insurance and expect the same from the AA.  Fuck it, we have only ever broken down twice in the past twenty years and, at about ninety quid a year, it makes more sense to pay per breakdown rather than fund the AA.

Now, back to my grumble; since cancelling my AA subscription I get the occasional offer to rejoin.  The AA describe it as a tempting offer.  I've looked at the price and it is neither "tempting" nor "an offer".  They simply present their basic service price.  As soon as I have added in cover for 30% we are right back at the price I was paying when I cancelled!

Now, I'm not sure whether the AA have noticed or not, but the whole bloody country has been in lockdown since the end of March and are still being encouraged to socially distance and work from home if at all possible.  I estimate that I have driven no more than one hundred miles in the past thirteen weeks.  Why would I resubscribe when neither of us are actually using our vehicles?

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*  With several breaks for refreshments and bullshitting  

Job done ... eventually

With Marauder and Whiffler completely shorn and ready to face the hottest weather of the year, my attention turned to #3.

For some reason I was slightly apprehensive about clipping her.  I've clipped her face and paws ever since she was a young pup, but I have never given her the full body clip and I was uncertain how it would go.  The Grooming School always reported that she was a pleasure to clip, but they would say that wouldn't they?  For all I know she could be a complete nightmare like the vile brat at the nursery that they can't wait to hand back to the parents at the end of the day.*

I think the foundation of my concerns is that she is of a very slight build and she is a real wuss! She will squeal at the least provocation and I mean the LEAST provocation.  I've heard her whine as a tangle is brushed from her coat.  She really is a drama queen and sometimes we suspect that she "puts it on".  For example she will be bouncing around with Whiffler in the most exuberant of games and then shout out in apparent alarm if brushed!

Clipping the dogs is quite a physical process and they need to be held and repositioned frequently as they are shorn of their long hair.  So, I would be putting a young, petite drama queen through a long physical process.  What could possibly go wrong?

Early in the day, #3 was encouraged on to the grooming mat and I made a start on her long tangled coat.  To be fair; she was an absolute star for the first 30 minutes and stood patiently as swathes of hair were shorn from her  head and body.  It was only when I got to her tail and legs that she started to fidget and then yelp as knotted mats of hair were pulled at.

I decided it was probably time for a break and, after a treat to reward her, she ran around like a thing possessed trailing lengths of red fur behind her.

In the end it took three sessions to get her clipped and that doesn't include the considerable amount of scissor work to remove the worst of her mats, before breaking out the clippers to tidy her up.

As the day ends she is sprawled on the floor looking a whole lot tidier, and smaller, than she did.  The problem with being a completer/finisher is that my eye is constantly drawn to tufts of hair that need a quick snip to finish the job ...

She'll be back on the grooming mat tomorrow as her feet are still a bloody disgrace!

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* "Oh yes, he's had a lovely day and been such a special boy".  No mention of the eating crayons, biting, constant shouting and attention seeking all bloody day.  The nursery staff rush back inside and reach for the gin and prozac. 

Haircuts (cont'd)

It was fairly quiet at work, so, being at a loose end for most of the day, I finished Whiffler's Summer clip and then hauled a reluctant Marauder from her favourite spot on the end of the sofa.

Marauder is approaching her eleventh birthday and is, most definitely, the senior member of the pack.  She still enjoys a walk around the Three Miler from time to time, but is now happy to amble along at my heel rather than race around like Whiffler and #3.  She'll still break out in to a run from time to time, but this is usually because she has smelt a pile of fresh horse shit and wants to be first at the trough.

Right, where was I going with this?  Oh yes, Marauder is now getting on and I made the clip as easy as possible by doing her feet whilst she was perched on the sofa.  This meant that she didn't need to balance on three legs whilst I stripped away her coat.  She tires easily and eventually lay down on the floor whilst I finished the job.

Both 30% and I are painfully aware that she only has a couple of years, at best, left and we are dreading her end.  She has a massive character. She is noisy and independent, but at the same time calm and sociable, liking nothing better than to curl up alongside you on the sofa and be loved.

I talk to her all the time and, as most dog owners will tell you, she answers back.  She has an incorrigible personality and comes out with the most outrageous statements,* but we love her without limit.

How do you repay the unconditional love that a dog gives? Marauder's response is "plenty of treats and yes, I will have a big spoonful of that Madagascar Vanilla Ice Cream".

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*  She has held a lifelong grudge with Eddy, our three legged cat and her most recent plan was to "have the whining little shit put down".  When asked about disposing of the body she replied that it was a simple matter ... "dump his body in the road.  Once the first car has gone over 'im it'll look like an RTA".   This is not a dog who really cares what you think.   

Long overdue for a trim

There has been quite a bit of coverage and comment in the media about the impact of no hairdressers or barbers since the beginning of the lockdown.  There are on-line tutorials for DIY haircuts, celebrity commercials for self applied colourings to cover roots or grey and a stream of social media videos showing home haircut failures.

I took the plunge myself a few weeks ago and got TP to clip my hair, but it isn't just the human population that are in dire need of a haircut ...

Marauder, Whiffler and Dog #3 are looking very shaggy indeed.  They were last clipped the day before our wedding and that was almost four months ago.  The weather is forecast to get well in to the eighties* this week and a three inch long coat is not going to be much fun for them.

I used to clip them all quite regularly, but for the last couple of years we have been using a Dog Grooming Training School in Stratford-upon-Avon.  To cut a long story short we met a drunk man in Alcester who managed, at the third or fourth attempt,** to explain that he had a poodle and got it clipped for free in Stratford.  After a bit of web searching we located the Grooming School and learnt that standard poodles are in demand for training dog groomers due to their size and the complexity of their clip.

Standard poodles are not that common and consequently the grooming school welcomed our three with open arms.  They charge £10 per dog for a bath, groom and clip which is less than a sixth of what we would pay elsewhere.  As a result they have been models for a couple of years and get a very cheap haircut ever four to six weeks.

However, the grooming school has been closed during the lockdown too and today it was my turn to make a start on the dogs.  Whiffler was first for the treatment and I have clipped him completely back, removing his topknot and longer hair on his ears.  After four months he had become quite matted and taking his coat back to 3mm in length is the best approach.  Hopefully it will be just the right length for a lamb clip  by the time the grooming school reopens.

I had got the worst of Whiffler's coat removed by dinner time.  I'll tidy his feet and face up tomorrow morning before choosing my next victim.

Marauder, these clippers have your name on them!

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* Fahrenheit obviously!

**  He was very pissed!

Weekend round-up

 Saturday: Hit 'n Miss

After my usual leisurely start to Saturday morning, I dragged the lawn mower from the shed and, unsurprisingly, mowed the lawn with it.  I needed to get this task out of the way as Grubby Mark and I had a reservation at the Cotswold Shooting Ground.

An early lunch was eaten and we were at the ground and ready to shoot just before one o'clock.  It was an eighty bird card* and it was bloody difficult.  It is fair to say my shooting ranged from sublime to ridiculous and my miserable total was 26/80. 

At my best I shot a perfect ten on one stand and a reasonable 6/10 on another, but overall I did not do well.  I later found out that a very experienced friend, who would normally shoot in to the 80%s only managed to hit 55 of the very tricky clays.  I took some consolation that it must have been a challenging shoot, but I definitely need a lot more practice.

I headed home and spent the late afternoon in the garden inspecting the hives.  I was joined by TP's girlfriend, who was quite keen to see the workings of a honey bee colony.  She seemed to really enjoy the experience and by the time we working our way through the last of the four hives, she even managed to spot the queen among the tens of thousands of workers on the brood combs.

Sunday: More bees!

Another leisurely start to the day and then 30% and I headed out around the Three Miler with the dogs.  It was a pleasant enough amble, but encounters with friends along the way, meant that this hour long walk took the best part of two hours this morning.

The longer than usual walk meant that the three hives in Kathy's garden didn't get inspected until the early afternoon.

I took a nucleus hive** with me as a precautionary measure.  One of the hives had been looking "swarmy" for the past month.  I had been doing my best to deter them, but on every previous inspection I had been greeted with the sight of multiple queen cups dotted around the brood nest.  Today was no different and one frame had three or four well developed queen cells hanging from the lower bars of the brood frame.

Locating the queen was a bit of a challenge as the frames were crowded with workers, but I eventually found her and removed her to the nucleus hive.  I added a few more frames of brood, shook in plenty of workers and closed up the nuc.  Once I'd finished the inspection I would take this with me and put it on a hive stand in the garden at home.***

The second hive was doing reasonably well.  There still isn't much nectar being brought in but there were plenty of workers ready and waiting for the Summer flowers.  Having ensured this colony was fine I headed to the third hive.  Earlier in the week Kathy had 'phoned to let me know that the third hive had swarmed.  I had been expecting this as this was yet another colony that could not be deterred from reproducing.

As I lifted the queen excluder my attention was drawn to a bee in the corner of the hive, well away from the brood nest.  It was a small queen.  I assume that it is an unmated, virgin queen that has hatched now the old queen has swarmed.  With warm weather forecast for the upcoming week, I hope she will have successful mating flights and soon be laying her first generation of daughters.

So Sunday ended with another colony of bees in the garden, but this entry wouldn't be complete without mention of Father's Day.  Earlier in the day TP presented me with a cucumber and a wrapped present.  He certainly knows his Father well.  I instantly got the joke and removed the gift wrap to reveal a bottle of Hendricks gin.****

I shall enjoy that.

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* The number of clay targets available to shoot.  

**  A small portable hive that can be used for catching swarms or taking a split or shook swarm from a hive.

*** If I left the nuc in Kathy's garden the most of the workers would simply return to the original hive leaving the queen without a sustainable colony.  This is because the workers have incredible navigation skills and can range over a mile from their hive and still make their way back with their foraged nectar and pollen.  By moving the nuc to an unknown location, the workers will reorientate themselves and return to the new hive.

****  A slice of cucumber compliments it perfectly.

Clock watching

The title of today's Journal entry pretty much sums up my day.

I had delivered this week's planned deliverables by close of business yesterday and, consequently, had very little on my professional plate for today.  I did finally managed to finish off the five minute job, * but even that took a couple of attempts.  

As there is not much else to report I may as well explain.  The final requirement clarifications were provided by the Project Managers early this morning and this clearly demonstrated that the second and final deliverable was something that the Sales Team could manage without my help.

I sent over an email with all of the relevant information and evidence and advised that I planned to cancel the request for my support.  The Sales Guy promptly responded asking a question that clearly indicated that he hadn't bothered to read the attachments in the email.

I sent him a polite reply directing him to the relevant attachments and fortunately heard nothing more before the end of the day.  

Now, after re-reading this, I may seem to be a bit of a jobsworth, but I have actually spent the past two days doing work the Sales Guy should have done before he even requested my support.  It is his job to clarify the requirements and, if he had done that, this activity might have taken an hour or two rather than the best part of a full day spread over three.  

It is a sad fact that the Sales Guys I work with aren't very keen on doing anything other than schmooze with the customer and take bonuses for poorly contracted business deals with questionable profitability.**  Christ knows what they are doing*** now that Covid-19 restrictions have stopped them visiting the customer?

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*  The fact that I have now been wittering on about this five minute job since Wednesday pretty much proves my point; there is no such thing as a five minute job. 

**  My colleagues and I do our best to make them profitable, but then the horse trading starts and crappy deals get done!

*** Most of them are wankers, so they are probably exercising their right arms at home.

A long memory can come in useful

Yesterday's "5 minute job" was first on my to-do list when I opened up the laptop this morning.

It was crystal clear that the Sales Guy had no intention of providing the information needed, so I had trawled through my memory banks and come up with a plan.  At the end of 2018 I had been involved in a Programme that had included work directly related to yesterday's request.  Better than that, I had remembered the names of the Project Managers that had managed the implementation and had even located their status reports for the relevant projects.

It was a matter of ten minutes work to knock up a quick email asking for the details that I needed.

At this point it is probably worth pointing out that sometimes I have problems remembering what I had for dinner, let alone the fascinating intricacies of my working day.  However overall my memory is very good and, for some strange reason, I can recall salient points from stuff that happened months or even years ago.  

Back to today's problem, once again The Gods were benevolent and the Project Managers provided the information needed within a couple of hours.  By the end of the day I had already managed to close out part of the request.  Hopefully tomorrow will see a way forward with the rest of the work.

The other major event from the working day was that I managed to sail the crumbling hulk of Colleague R's latest solution through an internal review without it sinking.  In fact it took no cannon fire at all and we can now tart it up with colourful bunting and pennants and pass it over to the customer for them to ransack.*

A week ago I mentioned that I try to avoid writing about my work in The Journal as it isn't very interesting. Unfortunately I was reasonably occupied by it today, leaving little time for anything else.  The weather didn't play ball either.  It poured with rain for a lot of the day and I didn't even get out for a walk with the dogs.

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*  I should add that our customer is keen for us to develop this solution.  They even may want us to build it, but, as soon as it is up and running smoothly, they plan to take it off us and run it themselves. 

There is no such thing as a five minute job

As I approach the end of my second decade developing IT services solutions, I should know that there is no such thing as a five minute job.  So, why on earth I did I volunteer to pick up something and assume that it would be straightforward and simple?

On initial examination it looked like all I needed to do was act as a post man.  I took the requirements* from the Sales Guy and passed them across to a team of specialists who would provide the necessary quotes.  All I would then have to do is pass the quotes back to the sales team.

What could possibly go wrong? 

I even had a precautionary call with the Sales Guy to ensure that there were no hidden issues or problems that were likely to leap out and bite me.  "No, no" he reassured me "it really is that simple". 

These words are still ringing in my ears.

Today I discovered that the requirements I was given are flaky at best and the Sales Guy has responded with a long winded "don't ask me" when I asked for clarifications.

The don't ask me email came in late in the day and it looks like I am going to have to use my native wit and cunning to drive this forward.  Unfortunately I was running low on "wit and cunning" by four o'clock, so I took Whiffler and #3 for a walk instead.

Hopefully my "W 'n C" reserves will be restored overnight.

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*  He had even used the correct form and had filled in all the fields

A rumble overhead

A change in the weather had been predicted and, as 30% headed out to work at lunchtime, large drops started to fall from a leaden sky.  Within minutes it was absolutely hammering down with rain and a colossal thunderclap sounded overhead.

Unfortunately I was working at my desk and missed the theatrics of the storm.  Instead I had to suffer an hour long call with a half witted project manager who seems to think that I will support his project but not charge my time to his budget.  I requested the budgetary codes on his call, but I was surprised to find that he had forgotten to record that in his minutes.  Ah well, it was a simple matter to "reply all" commenting that he seemed to have forgotten to record my request for the relevant codes. *

The working days went reasonably well and I was able to head out for a walk with Whiffler and Dog#3 at about four in the afternoon.  

Remembering the lunchtime storm, I collected a precautionary hat and jacket before heading out in to the lanes.  It soon became apparent that this wet weather apparel was redundant.  The weather was hot, sunny and humid and the coat was soon tied around my waist.  Although the rumble of thunder was ever present, the storms stayed away and the walk was a dry one.

During the walk Dog#3 performed her usual antics and it is one of these that I'll recount today.  When the poodles are young they delight in play and will constantly practice their instinctive hunting behaviours in preparation for running down imaginary Bison, Elk or Deer with the rest of the pack.

When Whiffler was a pup he was an absolute nightmare for hassling Marauder in this way.  As soon as she broke in to a trot or a run, he charged alongside her attempting to bite her legs and trip her up.  He's now approaching his sixth birthday and, as a mature dog, that behaviour is long behind him.  

However, Dog#3 is barely eighteen months old and what goes around comes around. Now it is her turn to hassle Whiffler.  It needs to be mentioned that Whiffler is a big boy.  The youngster is barely half his weight and much shorter in the leg and body.  This does put her at a disadvantage when Whiffler is running, but she is also quite smart ...

There are a couple of fields on the walk where Whiffler squeezes under the metal gates to take a quick nose among the stalks of the growing barley.  #3 doesn't follow, but waits at the gate.  She knows that Whiffler needs to creep under the gate to rejoin us and, at that point, is unable to defend himself from her practice attacks.

It is quite comical to see the stand-off with a dog on either side of the gate.  Whiffler waits for #3 to follow me up the road, so he can get under the gate without being attacked and #3 waits for Whiffler to duck under the gate, so she can pounce.

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*  I'm sure this was an oversight. **

**  Like fuck was it an oversight!  The little shit wants me to work for free.

More Socialising

I've spent more time socialising* in the past twenty four hours than I have for a good few months.

I had a vaguely annoying day at work. Don't ask me why, because I can't explain ... it was just a case of most of the things I had to do annoyed me.  I really wasn't in the mood.

By four o'clock I'd had enough and wandered away from the laptop.  I headed out to the garage and collected a few tools for a long overdue job.  The radiator in the downstairs lavatory has a few rust spots and it was definitely time to address them.

Now it is fair to say that I am not overly keen to do anything more to The Pile, but, at the same time, I really need a project to occupy me.  I was talking to 30% about this a few days ago and we both agreed that we love it here, but are now ready to say goodbye and take on a something new. 

Anyway, my desire to do something with my hands obviously outweighed my lack of DIY motivation and I found myself grinding back the rust spots with a Dremel, applying a rust inhibitor and, a few hours later, a touch up with enamel paint.  It's far from perfect, but it looks a whole lot better than the rust pocked surface that I started with.

Now, back to the socialising,  30% had invited BBQ Dave and Janet over for a cup of tea and a natter.  We hadn't seen them since the Lockdown started as they had been conscientiously self-isolating due to BBQ Dave's age.  It was a lovely afternoon, so tea was cancelled and beer was brought out as a far superior replacement.  The conversation was the usual mix of shooting, politics and the BBC's crappy news service and it was close to seven o'clock before they left.

Later in the evening, as I was cleaning my paintbrush I espied Doctor H parking up in the lay-by outside.  He had been called upon to perform vital Parish duties.  It seems that an overhanging bush needs pruning and he was heading up the High Street with Secateurs and Loppers to tame the aggressive shrub.  However, he seemed far more keen to chat and we had an amusing chunter about life, bees and everything before he headed up the footpath to perform arboreal surgery.

So, that was Monday; an irritating day at work followed by a productive and pleasant evening.

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*  Proper face to face sitting down and having a chat socialising, not your contrived, pre-prepared, plastic wrapped, additive filled social media substitute for socialising that I have had to endure since the back end of March. 

Getting back to normal?

Sunday evening found me gently snoring on the sofa. It's fair to say that we'd had quite a busy weekend.

Saturday

Saturday morning started with a run over to the Cotswolds.  I met up with Grubby Mark at the Hailes shooting ground, where we attempted 96 sporting clays. I had a frustrating round hitting only 40 "birds".  What irritated me most was that I was doing well on the challenging stands, but missing the more straightforward clays.  I'm obviously out of practice.

Back at home I ran around the lawn with the mower before putting on my bee suit and checking the hives in the garden.  They are all in a reasonable state, but it is apparent that there is still very little nectar available to forage.

I was pleased to see that my approach with a particularly troublesome hive seems to have been spot on.  The queen in this hive had been able to get through the queen excluder and lay up in the supers.  After giving this some thought I wondered if she was coming to the end of her laying life.  This notion was reinforced by what appeared to be supercedure queen cells;  these are produced when the workers become aware of a failing queen.  For the past few weeks I have left the hive well alone and, today, decided to take a look.  I couldn't see the queen, but there was a single frame of larvae and eggs.  This suggests that the original queen has been replaced and her daughter is now in residence.

As the afternoon cooled, 30% and I took a wander around the Three Miler with the dogs before collapsing on the sofa with a gin.

Sunday

With the slight easing of Social Distancing, we had arranged a barbecue for the afternoon.  This meant that the morning was filled with chores and preparations.  

First on the list was preparing two chickens for my barbecue speciality; beer can chicken.   Once the chickens had been prepped and the barbecue had been dragged out in to the sun, I headed down the road to inspect the hives in Kathy's garden.  The hives were much the same as those at home; good sized colonies waiting for a decent nectar flow.

I was home in time to get the charcoal lit and thirty minutes later I set the chickens on the grill to roast.  I then had enough time to tidy myself up before our guests* arrived.  We had a splendid few hours sat in the sunny garden; filling our faces and drinking plenty of wine.  It was so nice to be able to just sit, talk and joke naturally after the preceding weeks of Facebook and WhatsApp messages.

30% and I imbibed liberally and we both hit the sofa for a couple of hours after our guests left ... The tidying up can wait until Monday morning.

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* Grubby Sue, Grubby Mark, Bubbles and Robyn

That Friday feeling

It's the end of the working week and I've the uncommon feeling of having made significant progress this week.  An approval, that Colleague R had suggested would be challenging to obtain, turned up on Friday afternoon and we are now preparing for our Review call next week.

I would have liked to have celebrated with an early finish, but I had a call in the late afternoon and Marauder* and I could only manage a short walk as drizzle fell from an overcast sky.

I'm also chuffed to report that I have managed to catch another rat in the shed where I used to keep the chickens' feed.  What better way to start the weekend than with the death of rodent scum.

The end of the working week got me thinking about how people are using instant messaging, email and conferencing calls to stay in touch during the Covid-19 lockdown.  At the start of Social Distancing, I was quite happy to stay in touch using these apps and tools.  

However, as time has gone on, I've become less inclined to participate and I think I have worked out why ...  These tools are exactly the same as the ones I use at work and my social life has moved from being informal get togethers and shared meals to wretched alerts on my 'phone that interrupt my non-working life without thought to whether I want to talk to anyone or not.

Basically lockdown has meant that our friends now have access to more of my time than I really want to share with them and I am feeling somewhat resentful.  I know that this might seem selfish and awful, but I am busy at work and need time for me, time for the family and time for our friends.  At the moment I feel that Covid-19 has given everyone license to eat in to my personal and family time using methods that are very similar to interruptions at work.  

Perhaps they should read this.  They might understand why it sometimes takes me a week to reply, or not at all, as the case may be.

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*  TP's girlfriend has popped up for the day, and possibly an overnight stay, so they walked Whiffler and Dog #3** earlier in the day.

**  I really must give her a proper alias.

It would be a shame to waste it

I do try to avoid moaning about work in The Journal, as it doesn't make the most interesting of reads.  Also, for confidentiality reasons, I need to be quite vague about what I am up to and, reading back over previous years' entries, even I can't work out what I was moaning about at least half of the time!

These are two very  good reasons for avoiding the subject of work, although I will mention that I am finally making progress with colleague R.  He has finally managed to get his head out of his arse and focus on the task at hand.  He is still making mountains out of proverbial molehills, failing to see the wood for the trees and and having problems sorting the wheat from the chaff,* but, with the assistance of Tel and me, he has finally produced a passable, draft service definition document.

The next steps will be to issue it out to the wider team for review.  They will immediately ignore this request and ask stupid questions on next Thursday's call.

Putting work to one side, I'll  now get to the title of today's entry.  I was out snapping pictures of the dog roses on the Three Miler yesterday and I found another which I quite liked.  As it says at the top of the page "it would be a shame to waste it".

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* This list of aphorisms might seem like overkill, but they really do so neatly sum up the behaviour of this chap.  Now I do tend to be a "stop fucking around and get on with it" sort of chap, so you can imagine how close I have come to going ballistic with this dithering, procrastinating idiot over the past couple of months.

The thing about bubbles ...

is that they are ephemeral.  Enjoy them whilst they float above you, but be aware that they will burst.

Today we had a couple of calls regarding house sales and purchases.  It appears that our prospective buyers are still very keen, but not yet able to make an offer.  We also learnt that the owner of the cottage we fell in love with has accepted a cash offer from another buyer.

It looks like 30% will be scouring RightMove* to draw up another shortlist this evening.

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*  A UK property selling website

Dog Roses

As a regular walker of the local three mile loop, I'm reasonably aware of the local flora.  Dog walking gets me out around the lanes and bee keeping nudges me to keep an eye on what is flowering.*

I mentioned the "June gap" at the weekend; a period in the UK beekeeping season when, for a few weeks, there is a limited amount of nectar bearing flowers.  As I wander around the Three Miler I tend to survey the hedges and verges, looking for signs of Summer flowers.

One thing that has caught my eye over the past week is the huge amount of dog roses climbing up through the high, hawthorn hedges.  There are always a few to be seen, but this year they are absolutely splendid.  Their pink and white blooms can be seen every few feet on the sunnier parts of the walk.  I don't ever recall such a prolific flowering before, perhaps it is as a result of the warm, sunny spring?

A few bramble flowers are starting to appear too, hopefully the weather will soon improve and the bees will be back out foraging.

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*  My degree also had a significant amount of botany studies. Funnily enough, if you asked me, I would have always said that I was more interested in zoology,  but it seems that I am a closet botanist too.

Just stuff

Today started with a decent cup of freshly ground coffee, the first in several weeks.  Actually that's not quite accurate.  Today started with me letting the dogs out.  They desecrated the lawn while I liberated the chickens from their coop.  I then wandered over to check my rat trap and was surprised to see that I had actually caught one.  The realist in me knows that I have likely barely made a dent in the local population* ...  Only then did I get my cup of freshly ground coffee. 

The working day was quiet and, after discussing pricing with one of our Sales team, I did little other than clean my shotgun, complete on-line training and chat with a couple of colleagues.

There was also a change to the routine here at The Pile as TP started a new job at a distribution company over in Worcester.  It is warehouse work and is not well paid, but at least it provides him wth a regular income and gives his day structure and focus until his preferred line of work starts up again.**  His hours are 2.00 pm until 10.00, so it looks like I will be walking the dogs on my own from now on. 

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*  This was proved later in the day when I went to remove the carcass and saw a youngster scuttle across the shed floor.

** TP graduated from USW, Cardiff with a 1st Class Honours Degree in Sound Engineering last year.  We are both immensely proud of him.  Even before he had graduated he had managed to sow and nurture the seed of a career as a freelance sound engineer.  Just before the lockdown he had landed a place with a national program that helps to develop the skills and talent and invest in the future of the UK screen industry.  He had recently landed a three month contract on a big production through this program only to see it postponed as a result of Covid-19.

Defrosting the microwave

Item #1 on today's agenda was inspecting the bees.  

The weather has been cool and showery over the past week and, unsurprisingly, the bees have not been flying as much as they would in warmer weather.  I waited until the day had brightened somewhat, but the hives were still packed with bees as I examined the frames.  This made it a challenge to find queen cups or cells, let alone the queens themselves.  

The inspections went reasonably well, but it was apparent that the the bees had been relying on their stores rather than foraged nectar.*  The frames of stores that surround the brood nests had, mostly, been emptied to keep the colony sustained over the past seven days.  I'm not concerned, as there is ample honey in the supers to keep them going.

After checking on the bees, 30% and headed out in to the garden to deal with a vermin problem ... Over the past few weeks we had noticed that something had been chewing holes in the poultry food sacks.  These are kept in what, until recently, had been a vermin proof store, so it was time to investigate.  The little shed was emptied and 30% dived in to sweep up.  She soon called out that she had found rat droppings.  At this point I suggested that she should retreat, so that we could check that the rat wasn't still there.

I started looking for rat runs and, as I looked around the roof space, I saw a beady eye looking back at me.  Neither of us fancied having a startled rat jumping out at us, so a length of cane was deployed to persuade the verminous, little sod to vacate the premises.  We then spent an hour, or so, clearing up the shed and relocating the food to a rat proof metal bin.  With the poultry food gone, a couple of traps were set, although I didn't hold much hope of success;  they are very clever animals.

There's not much else to report, apart from the fact that I finally got my arse in to gear and descaled the coffee machine this evening.  I love to start the day with a cup of proper coffee ... A black Americano made with an espresso machine and, preferably, from freshly ground Old Brown Java coffee beans.

I have a little Gaggia classic and it makes a great cup of coffee, but it is a complete faff to descale.  It needs doing every couple of months and the process can take a good couple of hours.  This necessary chore is lovingly referred to as "defrosting the microwave" in the panoply of nonsense I spout as I grow older.

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*  Here in the UK there is a phenomenon called the"June gap" where nectar sources diminish during this month and then increase again from July through to September.

A possible buyer?

We had a viewing scheduled for eleven o'clock this morning, so the hours before were spent tidying up and TP and I took the dogs out for a walk shortly before the viewers arrived.

After a twenty minute wander around the local playing fields, we headed back to The Pile and guessed that the viewing was still in progress, based on the unfamiliar car parked outside.  We sat out in the back garden with the dogs to avoid interrupting 30%'s sales pitch.

A short while later the potential buyers came out to see the garden and it was clear that they absolutely loved the house and neither of us will be surprised if an offer is forthcoming in the next few days.

There are, however, a few flies in this sweet smelling unction ...  They have yet to sell their property and are going to need to borrow* to buy The Pile.  It might happen, but I'm not holding my breath.

They were incredibly keen and even asked if the woman's mum and dad could pop over to take a look from the outside. We were happy to oblige and let them view the inside too ... after all, the bank of mum and dad might be involved in the financing.

Later in the afternoon TP was out in the kitchen making up a batch of Halloumi.  He called me over and we could see that the viewers had returned and had parked up outside and were talking and gesturing at the outside of the house ... as I said, they seem quite keen.

That is the big news for Saturday,  I did head over to the Cotswold Shooting Ground at Childswickham for 100 sporting clays.  Bubbles had shot earlier in the day with a mutual friend, so I had a sort of blind date with a chap from Bromsgrove for the 13.55 pm slot.**

I shot appallingly and ended up with 36/100 on my card.  My best stand was an 8 and my worst was a 1.  I checked my blood sugar as I prepared to drive home and saw that it had been low for most of the time I was shooting ... I always shoot badly with low blood glucose.***

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*  They are in a two bedroomed flat valued at £210K.  Personally, I doubt that they own it outright, so my guess is that they will need to be borrowing the fat side of half a million.

**  The shooting grounds used to operate on a "turn up with a bunch of mates and just get on with it approach".  Covid-19 has put the mockers on that and they are now only allowing pairs of shooters, with pre arranged start times to control numbers at the grounds. 

*** Other excuses include; "it was windy today" and "a lot of the targets were edge on" ... actually there are several volumes of excuses, as to why I shot badly!

That's not how I'd go about it

I took my first honey crop in the May of 2017.  There had been a significant acreage of oilseed rape around the village and the bees had made good use of it to produce an early honey crop.  It's not the finest of honeys because it is prone to crystallising within hours of extraction, but it was our first crop and we were just delighted to see the honey pour from the extractor.*

Later in the Summer I was approached by an acquaintance that had heard that I had some bees.  He had a hive up in his Orchard and wondered if I would be willing to extract some honey from his hive.  He offered up half of the crop by way of a reward and I agreed ... What could possibly go wrong?

On the agreed date** I loaded up the Defender with my beekeeping kit and drove up to his orchard which is close to the tower that overlooks the village.  We wandered over to the hive and I was presented with a very scruffy WBC hive that was sat on a wooden platform some 3' above ground level.

I suited up, lit my smoker and clambered up on to the platform to open up the hive.  The owner had already informed me that he followed a hands off approach to beekeeping and this was apparent as soon as I managed to wrestle the roof from the hive.  

The WBC hive is the traditional English beehive that most people tend to picture when asked to imagine a hive.  It is a double walled design, with outer walls surrounding and protecting the hive that sits within.  

This hive had not been inspected for months, if not years.  It was apparent that ill-fitting supers and frames had been added at some point and these had created gaps that had allowed the bees to colonise the space between the inner hive and the outer walls.  This space was crammed with honey-filled comb and bees.

I could see that the colony was healthy enough, but it was clear that the owner had no spare equipment and neither did he seem to have any desire to take any care of the colony.  I therefore advised him that I would only take one of the two supers for a harvest and that was on the understanding that he returned the super to the hive to give the colony the space it needed.

After a bit of work with the hive tool I managed to break the super free from the hive.  As I did this it became apparent that the outer hive was starting to rot.  I upgraded my advice from "inspect them and give them more space" to "move them in to a new hive".  I lifted the honey filled super from the manky hive and stepped back ... I had forgotten that the hive was 3' off the ground and found myself falling with a 25 lb super in my hands.  As I landed, the super crushed the top of one of my fingers and my pride was somewhat bruised too.

To cut a long story short, the honey was extracted and I received a bottle of wine, a leg of lamb and nearly eight pounds of honey in payment.  I also ended up with a broken finger and several hours of work to clean the extractor after this harvest. 

Funnily enough, I hadn't really heard from him again until I bumped in to him earlier this week.   He asked how my bees were doing and I asked how his were, in return.  He advised that the colony had died out a couple of years after we had taken the harvest.  He had cleared the hive and bought a new colony from a local semi-professional beekeeper.  The semi-pro had advised this chap to inspect the hive every eight days, but this chap seemed to take a perverse pleasure in advising that he hadn't looked at them since introducing them to the hive.

I really don't understand why this chap has bees.  He takes no care of them.  He doesn't need them for pollination of his orchard as there are ample local colonies to perform this service.  I just don't get it!

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* I had borrowed a hand cranked extractor and all the other extracting paraphernalia from Doctor H; Village Idiot's son and heir.

** 30th July 2017 ... I knew my beekeeping notes would be of use eventually.

A glimmer of hope?

Late in the afternoon the 'phone rang.  I answered and found myself talking to a rather excited 30%.  It appears that the daughter of the owner of the cottage we like has tracked her down on FaceBook and sent her a message saying that her mum wants to sell her house to us and is willing to give us a little more time to see if we can sell The Pile.

30% spoke to the daughter this evening and it appears that her mum really liked how we responded to her home and felt that we were really suited to it.*  She has the flexibility to give us more time and is willing to do so. Apparently she has received another offer, but has rejected it in favour of ours.

As the title of today's entry states, this is only "a glimmer of hope", as we still need to get a Buyer for The Pile.  We did have a viewing today, but we have yet to receive any feedback.

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* Maybe our bees bring us luck?  When we spoke to the seller we mentioned that the orchard and paddock would be perfect for the hives and she instantly responded that her father had kept bees.  It's a little odd how keeping bees seems to lead to all sorts of new encounters and relationships.  I even had my Boss ping me over the weekend to ask for advice about a bumblebee nest in his garden.