Friday, 14 May 2010

Auto generating material

You may hove noticed a little counter at the top of this page - yes, that's it, over there on the right - it tells me how many times I have visited this journal in the vain hope that somebody else has found it.

Anyway, if you know my ID and password you can get to a site which tells you all sorts of interesting facts about visitors to this site - well not really interesting unless you are a seriously sad sort of geek - but it tells me where they have logged on in the world, how long they loitered around the journal and what pages they looked at etc.

From this I have learnt the following...

1) Every one in America can speed read (I'll get to this in a minute)

2) Australia and New Zealand are very hard to break in to (perhaps this is why we sent criminals first time around?)

The reason I say that Americans can speed read is because the stat counter thingy tells me how long they have loitered and zero seconds seems to be the average visit for USA readers. I am being generous in assuming that they just get through this stuff very quickly.

I will however take the time to pass on my apologies to the poor individual in Denver, Colorado who accessed this blog via a website related to broken humerus bones. Once can only wonder what he was looking for but you can guess that my theory that IT IS possible to put your elbow in your ear was not it.

You can image some suntanned, stetson wearing guy with the perma-squint as a result of gazing across wide western vistas popping in to an Internet saloon for a quick surf having got his arm in a cast as a result of getting in to a bit of a scrap with a cow or a raccoon or something. He was probably looking for a bit of advice on one armed lassoing or what sort of wildlife can be rendered down to form some form of organic healing salve. What did he get - the ramblings of some sort of nutcase about the roobarb and custard challenge...

and it gets better..... I also found out that an individual in Germany located the "Journal" after a late evening search on Catsuits using Google's Blog Search facility. Heaven only knows what he was looking for or, for that matter, what he was wearing when he opened up the page that chuntered on about Potato and Eddy's scorched earth policy and their habit of sitting on the sofa in their pants. But I'm guessing, based on his quick exit, that this wasn't EXACTLY what he was looking for.

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