Intelligent Design

In terms of education I suppose I'm best described as a scientist rather than an "Arty" type. Having said that I do like to daub a little now and again and would like to think that I have an aesthetic sense.

But I also love science and discovery. Knowing why a star twinkles and why the sunset is an emotionally moving blaze of oranges and reds moving to mauves and purples as the night draws in doesn't diminish the beauty in any way. Surely it just gives a greater sense of wonder and appreciation for that aspect of the universe. So, to discover more is a fine ideal.

So the Creationists premise of Intelligent Design is never going to get my vote. This is the argument that everything is so complicated and well designed that it could never have evolved by chance. There are many examples where observed fact contradicts the arguments of Intelligent Design and one of my favourites is a nerve that runs from the brain to the larynx taking a route that loops round the aorta. Fair enough, you might say, but in the giraffe this results in an extra 20 feet of pointless nerve. Surely intelligent design would just have taken it from brain to larynx without the tour of the chest cavity unless the Intelligent Designer was also a taxi driver in a previous life.

Either that or the Creator did mammals late on a Friday and needed to get back for a shower and change because the Creator's partner wanted to go and have a look what the neighbouring Creators had done with their Universe...

"ooh - that's really and nice and I love how you've got that. We really need to sort out the state of some of those Spiral Galaxies and have you seen the interstellar dust over there"

At his point I need to take a moment to remind myself to send the Guys in the Lab a note about the Shetland Giraffe project.

Right, back now - Intelligent Design - I have come across a further example that disproves Intelligent Design. Stick with me here cos this may get a bit rocky. My perfect example is based on cats and Shiatsu Massage.

Anyone who waits on a cat "hand, foot and finger" will know that cats are absolute geniuses at Shiatsu Massage. They are born with this skill to perform perfect kneading of the flesh that would make most Japanese Practitioners weep with frustration at their lame efforts..... BUT .... and this is the point, if you have ever had your cat give you a loving therapy session, you will know that having 5 retractable claws on each paw really does spoil the effect.

Case closed - if there was an Intelligent Designer cats either wouldn't have claws or would be able to tuck them away in little pouches while they were busy massaging.

A few days ago I mentioned that The Demons down at Dante's had found some other Souls to torture and consequently I was taking a break from pushing the rock up the slope and was getting irritable because I wasn't fully occupied. Well don't worry - the Demons at Dante's all have performance objectives too and they are very, very keen to make sure that their appraisals all go smoothly - after all, If you were in their position you wouldn't want Satan telling you your performance wasn't up to scratch.

Well the Imp that came up with this weeks torture is well on for a high score and a nice year end bonus.

This week my aged Laptop was retired and replaced by a new one. I am hoping that it will now be flapping its way towards the horizon to settle and roost in a sunny spot where it can live out its days. Probably more likely that it has been shot and crushed and they are, as we speak, melting its guts down for the scraps of gold on its PCBs.

Well the new one is also an example of Intelligent Design. Five separate calls to the Helpdesk today and now on first names terms with they ladies and gents in India. It's not their fault. They are just the poor individuals that have to try to resolve problems with a Laptop image build that hasn't had its basic functionality tested.

Did I ever say what Dante's business was - Go on, take a wild guess.