I headed downstairs and confirmed my diagnosis. My blood sugar was 2.6.* As I took onboard fuel I heard a door upstairs creak as it was pulled shut and wondered what on earth TP was doing out of bed at three int he morning.** Then it dawned on me … is his girlfriend really in the spare bedroom, or has there been some after hours sneaking about? Testing my hypothesis was out of the question as a) I was stark naked and b) my appearance in either room was going to result in embarrassment or harassment charges, so I returned to my bed and my dreams.
I mentioned this nocturnal occurrence to 30% at a far more civilised time and she actually took it better than I had expected ... in that neither TP nor the GF were immediately brought to the kitchen at gun point for a summary trial and execution. I did however think that there was a strong possibility that a discussion would take place while I was wandering down to the Post Office to tax the car.
Walking back in to The Pile I encountered a rather sheepish looking TP and GF and 30% announced that they had a little talk. I saw no signs of bloodshed nor bandages and the crockery all seemed to be intact too so I assumed that it had all gone quite well. 30% summarised that she was OK with revised sleeping arrangements but was a little disappointed that they had snuck around rather than simply ask.*** It seemed appropriate that I do some parenting at this point so I asked that they take no chances with contraception as, if TP needed my guidance and assistance with a letter from the Inland Revenue about a tax rebate, there was no way he and the GF were sufficiently matured to handle an unplanned pregnancy!
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* around 5 is normal. I prefer it slightly higher overnight.** He sleeps like the proverbial log
*** a simple case of not knowing how to broach a difficult subject
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