I now own a kazoo

This morning 30% and I had a few errands to complete.

Our first stop was Alcester where 30% paid a visit to her long absent Audi. The damned thing has been in the workshop for a good couple of weeks, if not more, while they try to locate an electrical fault that results in a constant check engine light. They are progressing component by component and reassured 30% that the labour bill was not enormous … yet.

I, on the other hand, went next door to the Motorcycle dealer from whom I purchased the Shitter. I needed a new brake light switch and wandered in on the off-chance that they might have one kicking around. The Proprietor was keen to hear how I was getting on and actually provided me with a switch spring free of charge. I wandered out a happy man.

We then headed down the road and popped in to the meat wholesaler and Builder's Merchants; a product catalogue and a few choice cuts were chucked in the back of the car.

Our next stop was Evesham where I was treated to a tour of Lidl before we visited the Picture Framers to collect a print of some ratting terriers and the cleaned C18 painting of a Hunter. The oil painting has cleaned up beautifully and we now face quite a difficult decision … do we restore further or frame as is.   We now have  the name of a local picture restorer and probably need to take it to him for an assessment and advice.

These errands consumed the morning and it was time for lunch upon our return. 30% and I then headed out around the Three Miler with Tyson, Marauder and Whiffler. We had a lovely, if muddy, walk and an obligatory dog washing session was completed upon our return to The Pile.

A fairly lazy afternoon followed. although I managed to recruit some assistance from 30% and finally assembled the Enfield's rear brake lever mechanism. This is a complicated assembly of rods, spindles, levers, bushes and pedals due to the fact that this model is at the point where Enfield realised that market share might improve if they went with the gear change on the left and the brake on the right like every other new motorcycle on the planet.  Consequently this convoluted mechanism is required to connect a pedal on the right with a brake drum on the left hand side of the rear wheel.

Dinner was taken very early this evening as 30% and I were out for one of her Christmas gifts. I had managed to acquire front row seats for a performance of the I'm sorry I haven't a clue tour at Cheltenham, so by half past six we were thundering down the motorway towards this Gloucestershire Spa town.

I have driven past the racecourse many times before but this was the first time I had ever visited it. As a venue for a comedy performance it can be summed up as follows; The auditorium is perfectly adequate but it is connected to a complete and utter cluster fuck of a foyer. It was badly laid out with refreshments stalls squeezed either side of the entrance to the toilets. This created a chaotic jumble of people who were trying to offload or take on fluids. Basically the Organisers didn't seem to have put any thought in to crowd management which surprised us in view of the thousands that visit during Gold Cup Week.

My mutterings about the foyer were soon put aside as we took our seats and settled to watch Messrs Dee, Sell, Garden, Cryer, Hardy and Brooke-Taylor perform their ridiculous antics. It was a brilliant evening filled with laugh out loud moments including one where Tim Brooke-Taylor was twerking at me …

… You probably had to be there.