Can't be bothered

 Not a lot to report for today. 

I have to admit that, the closer it gets to Christmas, the more unenthusiastic I feel. It may be the result of a very busy Autumn, followed by a quite energetic holiday, a case of food poisoning and dealing with a fallen tree, but I am now at the point where I really can't be arsed to do anything!

I had two things on my virtual to do list for today. Both were Alcester based activities. First was a trip to Screwfix to pick up a Christmas present for TP, then I popped in to the butchers in search of a gammon joint. Fortunately I found the perfect joint and this will be boiled and honey roasted in the next couple of days.

And, as for the rest of the day; the weather was cold, drizzly and grey and I really could not be bothered to do anything other than curl up and finish my book.* At one point I did head outside with good intentions, but demotivation struck very quickly and I was soon back on the sofa.

TP arrived home just before seven o'clock and will be here, intermittently,** until twelfth night.

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* Masquerade by Terry Pratchett

** Diverse socialising, a visit to his Mother and a New Year in Dublin to name but a few of his planned activities

Warning!

 Do not walk in to your wife's favourite independent jeweller at this time of year without having a clear Christmas gift idea.

I've warned you. Just don't!

That'll do

 I wandered out to the remnants of the fallen conifer with every intention of splitting the last couple of sections of tree trunk. However, after a frustrating hour I gave up. I had managed to split off a few more logs, but the last few chunks of wood had contorted grain patterns and just wouldn't break apart.

I suppose I could borrow a log splitter, but that seems like a lot of effort for a dozen more logs, at best. If I take a step back and look at the large heap of split wood and the few unsplit chunks then "that'll do".

I did very little for the rest of the day apart from a visit to the local surgery for my annual diabetic review. They seem quite happy with my results with great scores for blood pressure* and cholesterol, as always I could do with loosing a few pounds.**

After more than fifty years as a type 1 diabetic,  I still have good eyesight and can still feel a feather on my feet ... I'm doing ok.

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* for someone my age

** few!

I've had enough now

 I'm getting somewhat bored with the conversion of a fallen tree in to firewood and also the documentation of the aforementioned activity. Christ knows how anyone reading this feels about it?

So, guess what I did this morning? Yep, I was out on the front lawn with the saw horse, splitting maul and chainsaw. I spent the morning dealing with the last few sections of the tree. By lunchtime I was both bored and tired and decided to call it a day. There are still a couple of sections of the trunk that need splitting, but they are filled with large knots. I know that they will be an utter pig to split and it's just not worth hiring a log splitter for the last few pieces of wood. I think that they will be a nice addition to a bonfire at some point next year.

As I type this the garden and verge are now relatively clear of storm debris.  There is a large pile of mulched conifer on the verge and the corner of the front garden is home to a large pile of split logs.  The stump and attached root ball protrude from the lawn at a jaunty angle, but they can bloody stay there until the weather improves ... if I'm honest, I don't really have a plan, but Grubby Jason mentioned the possibility of coming over with a tele handler in the Summer and lifting the stump out.

That's better than anything I can come up with and "NO, I'm not digging the hole out for a pond!"

Nearly finished

The verge at the front of the cottage looks relatively clear now the conifer brash has been shredded, and piled up on our boundary with the neighbouring field.

However we are left with a pile of branches ranging in diameter from three to eight inches. Today I brought out the chainsaw and saw horse and spent a good part of the day converting them in to logs. I also discovered a few sections of tree trunk, so the splitting maul was also brought in to play. The last couple of hours of the afternoon were spent splitting the larger logs in to manageable chunks.

30% was on-hand to assist with the removal of the logs. These are now stacked in one of our log stores and they should dry out over the next few months.

By the end of the afternoon the front verge is now free of debris, with just the pile of chipped confer the only evidence of a fallen tree. Tomorrow will see me back in the front garden to split and saw the last few sections of trunk.*

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* I am not looking forward to this task. These are large, knotty sections that I had already attempted to split last Wednesday. If they didn't split after a couple of assaults with the maul, they were cast aside on to a pile of rejects. I now have no excuse, but to persevere with these awkward , bloody things!

One step forward ...

... two steps back.

I must admit that this is how things feel at the moment. The tree that fell last Saturday and the bloody mess left behind by the drainage contractors have left us with a lot of work to do. The thing is that we can find plenty to occupy ourselves without have the unexpected and the badly managed dump more on our plate.

I'm not really complaining. I know that the mess in the garden will be rectified and recover in a few months and that we are capable of dealing with the fallen tree. I just wish that sometimes we could amble towards Christmas in a leisurely fashion, rather than have a heap of non-festive things to do.

I appreciate that there has been no Journal entry since Thursday, so here's a quick summary of what I've been up to.

Friday, 13th December, 2024

Well, considering the date, today went reasonably smoothly. 

By nine o'clock I had the pressure washer connected up and spent a good half an hour cleaning the thick layer of mud from the path to the front door and the worst of it from the drive. We can now let the dogs out without them returning caked in filth. 

The mini excavator and dumper truck were collected and their removal left another scattering of clay across the drive. 30% applied herself to this and did a damned good job, considering the state of the drive. We both agreed that we really need to properly clean the block paving as soon as the weather improves.

The rest of the day was spent processing the brash from the fallen conifer.  After Sunday's tree felling we ended up with a huge pile of brash on the verge outside the cottage. The pile was about 40' in length, 8' wide and chest high. The day was spent cutting this in to manageable lengths, and stacking it in preparation for the arrival of the chipper.

We were hoping that the chipper would arrive early so that we could make a start on the brash, but it was near dark before the little green monster was delivered. Oh well, we'll be nice and fresh to make an early start tomorrow.

Saturday, 14th December, 2024

It will come as no surprise that we spent a good chunk of today feeding conifer brash in to the chipper. I also think we provided some form of entertainment for the dog walkers and riders that passed by.

We needed to pace ourselves as we had arranged to meet up with B&H in Worcester this evening for a meal at a Greek restaurant. As a consequence we worked until three o'clock and then called it enough for the day. We had quite an impact on the pile of brash and I estimate that we will get it finished by lunchtime tomorrow ... provided that we get to bed at a reasonable time.

We had a lovely evening with great food and great company. We also finalised the dates for our next narrow boating holiday and 30% will get that booked early next week. We plan to do the Mid-Worcestershire ring in the week lead up to Good Friday, 2025.

Sunday, 15th December. 2025

It was another early start and we fed the last of the brash in to the chipper shortly before lunch. We are both relieved to have reduced a mountain of brash to a large pile of shredded material. Several passers-by have expressed an interest in taking some of this mulch, so hopefully that will disappear in the next few days. The larger tree limbs will need to be sawn and split, but that too can wait until later in the week. 

The only other thing of import was that I gave the bees another pack of candy each. I took a quick peep under to the hive roofs on Friday and each has consumed the best part of a kilo of candy in the past six weeks. I must remember to check again towards the end of January to ensure that they don't go short of food.

As mentioned, we had finished shredding the brash by lunchtime and we both indulged ourselves with a huge afternoon kip. We still have work to do, but the pressure is off. All of the smaller branches have been shredded and we have no further need of the chipper ... until the contractors come to remove the conifer in the orchard that is too close to our electricity supply.

That's quite enough for now

 This morning I headed out early to pick up a couple of bags of layers pellets, some petrol for the chipper and a few essentials from the supermarket. The errands took a little over an hour and I arrived home to see that the drainage contractors were doing their best to cover everything with a thick layer of sticky clay.

Whilst the two lads who have done the work have been brilliant, we are not overly happy with the way the job has been designed and costed. A mini excavator and dumper truck have been costed in, but the site is so wet that all digging and spoil removal has had to be done by hand.  Three tonnes of the wrong type of aggregate has been delivered and then removed. The original drainage design included an attempt to get water to run uphill and the list goes on.

Basically the work that has been done has been perfectly good, but that is down to the two chaps on-site. They took one look at the job specification and then decided to make some major modifications, so that the ditches and drainage will should work.  

It is fair to say that we have had some lengthy and fairly heated conversations with one of the managers about how good their on-site team are, but how appalling their scheduling and solution design were.

The ground is so wet that there is absolutely no chance of them finishing off the work to our satisfaction, so it has been agreed that they will leave the garden as tidy as possible and return in the Spring, once the ground has dried sufficiently.  

The main problem is the low berm that borders the boundary ditch.  This is a vital part of the ditch to ensure we have sufficient depth and capacity to handle the run off from the upslope field. Unfortunately the berm got damaged during the excavations and needed to be restored. It is now topped by an uneven pile of sodden spoil that will need to be smoothed and profiled with a mini excavator. Unfortunately that part of the garden is way too wet to support machinery, so it'll be like that until next Spring.

As I said yesterday, "it'll recover ... eventually."

It'll recover ... eventually

 I'm finally recovered from the stomach bug and am now relatively confident to stray further than a hundred yards from the house.

However, a week of living off very limited quantities of toast and marmite has left me with an alimentary canal that needs to be restarted ... gently. I don't think a huge curry would be the ideal thing to eat for a week, or two. Apparently your stomach doesn't shrink when you reduce your food intake. That may be true, but I am finding that I get that full feeling after not a lot of food.

On the home front the drainage work continues and Luke and Aaron are doing their very best to prevent the garden from looking like the Somme. The French drain has now been dug across the back lawn and pipes have been laid and levelled. They even made a start on backfilling the trenches with pea gravel before the gathering gloom put an end to their labours. They should be finished tomorrow, provided that aggregate and top soil deliveries arrive on time.

As for me, I spent a good chunk of the day sawing and splitting logs. It's hard work, but strangely satisfying to see my log pile grow and the sections of tree slowly reduce. We still have a large pile of brash to deal with, but 30% has re-hired the chipper for next weekend and the weather forecast is favourable. It looks like it will be a busy couple of days.

I was going to say that the garden will then be back to normal, but it's probably going to take a while to recover from a fallen tree and the extensive ditching and drainage work.

I did say the garden got very wet

 It was another eye appointment this morning or, more accurately, the rescheduled appointment after last week's screw up. This appointment was marginally better in that it happened, but the doctor managed to already be twenty minutes behind schedule at a quarter to nine in the morning.  

The outcome of the examination was that my intraocular pressure is reduced ... a good thing and an alternative regime has been suggested to reduce the eyelid inflammation.

I arrived home at around ten o'clock and was pleased to see that our drainage contractors were already hard at work with a mini excavator and dumper truck. They are really pleasant, hard working chaps and, as soon they established how wet the ground was,* they decided that hand digging the various trenches was a far better idea.

By the end of day one they had completed the work on the main boundary ditch and dug out the trenches for the French drain around the older parts of the property.

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* I'm no expert, but I think it was the point where the dumper truck got bogged down and the excavator threw a track off ... i.e. "the machines are out of action, lets grab a couple of spades."

A full agenda

 Today was supposed to be a busy day. Our power supply was due to be turned off, in order that contractors could remove a problem tree in the orchard. Also; our drainage contractor was due on-site to start the ditch and French drain construction.

We prepared as much as possible. Water was boiled and thermos flasks were filled. A camping stove was set up in the kitchen and sensitive devices were switched off. We were as ready as we could be.

As it turned out, our preparations were mostly in vain. The tree felling was, understandably, cancelled, as emergency grid repairs following the storm were prioritised. Our power supply was uninterrupted. 

As for the drainage contractors; a large articulated lorry arrived just before nine o'clock and unloaded a mini excavator and dinky little dumper truck. A short while later a contractor arrived and unloaded the mats that are used to minimise damage to the ground. While he was on site, a building supplies truck turned up and unloaded three tonne bags of pea gravel and a pallet of pre-mixed concrete.

And that was it. Apparently a couple of lads were due on-site later in the day to start the works, but it seems that they were held up on another job. It was, therefore, a much quieter day than expected.

I kept myself busy for most of the day with a splitting maul, working on the felled conifer. At the end of the day I had a blister, a sore back and a fair sized pile of logs. I felt reasonably pleased with my efforts until I glanced at the mountain of brash and the sections of trunk and branch that are yet to be processed. I know for a fact that some of that wood is going to be an utter bastard to split ... where's my chainsaw?

Tree Felling

 I'm still not feeling right, but there was a 30' fallen conifer that needed to be attended to!

30% and I made a plan of action. I went out to the workshop, adjusted and fuelled the chainsaw and, eventually, got it started. In the meantime 30% reached out to TP and Bubbles to see if they could help, and also contacted Hedgelayer Tom* to see if he could assist.

30% reported back that TP would be over in a short while and that Tom would pop over at around one o'clock. It looked like we had the beginnings of a plan.

We then headed out to make a start on the tree. It had fallen across the hedge and the top half was now blocking the gateway of the neighbouring field. That was where we started. I was on chainsaw duties and 30% assisted by clearing the brash away. It was quite a struggle as I was literally fighting my way in to the upper half of a dense conifer in order to remove the side branches and gain access to the trunk.

We persevered and, bit-by-bit, the trunk started to appear. After about an hour we were joined by TP and Bubbles, and we really started to make headway. By lunchtime we had managed to saw the top 15' of the tree in to manageable pieces and pile them up.

We just had the lower half of the trunk to deal with and Tom was the man for that. He has far more skill and experience in this area than I, and he has a much bigger chainsaw!

Tom turned up as promised and, after the usual rambling conversation, got started on the tree. I was excused as I was, and still am, feeling shit. In about three hours the tree trunk and branches was sawn into 10" slices, that were neatly piled up against the hedge. Tom lightened my wallet to the tune of a hundred quid** and headed off in to the dusk.

We are both pretty exhausted after a busy day and the next few are probably going to be similar. The wood now needs to be split in to logs and stacked somewhere to season.

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* Tom is a local contractor who works in forestry and hedge laying. He laid three of our hedges here at the cottage in the first couple of years after we moved in. One of the hedges was so poor that it should have been more accurately described as a row of widely spaced hawthorn trees. After three and half years it is now a beautiful hedge after his careful ministrations. He is an eccentric, but, my world, he is amazing with a chainsaw.

** Bargain! Remember a) it was Sunday and b) Forestry experts are in high demand after a storm ... mates rates

Storm Darragh

I'm still not recovered from the food poisoning and, as a consequence, am taking things very easy at the moment.

Storm  Darragh has blown in overnight and my brief excursion to let out the chickens was enough weather for one day. The winds are incredible and accompanied by a cold stinging rain. It is definitely an indoors sort of day.

Midway through the afternoon I wandered into the living room and something in the front garden caught my eye ... we now seem to have a ten foot wide crater featuring the underside of a tree trunk. The large pine tree has been felled by the wind.  Fortunately it has fallen away from the house and is now leaning at a jaunty angle supported by the hedge.

It looks like I'll have a few days out there with the chainsaw next week.*

The storm continued to blow and our broadband connection failed later in the day. I reported the fault via BTs web portal and an engineer is needed. This is going to take a few days and a 4G mini hub is being posted to provide an interim service.

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* I  will actually have two conifers to turn in to logs as National Grid are sending out a contractor** on Monday to fell a pine in the orchard that is too close to our power line.
** provided they are not diverted to deal with storm damage

The invisible chain

 Things are pretty much the same on the health front. I am somewhat lacking in energy and there are occasional bouts of stomach cramps. As for "the invisible chain" that is the one that restricts me to no more than thirty or forty yards from the house!*

I had a fairly lazy day, but managed to complete the cataloguing of our holiday photos. TP turned up at lunchtime for an overnight stay and I spent a good amount of time catching up on his news. 

He has a project that he's been researching for a good few months and we spent an hour, or two, out in the garage working out the best way to cut and assemble aluminium extrusion in to a sound cart for moving key components around studios and other film locations. 

I have already mentioned that the previous owner of the cottage left a huge quantity of stuff behind when she left, and one item was a horizontal band saw. It seems that it will be pressed in to use, once we get a new blade installed and properly adjusted.

30% had arranged for us to go and see a burlesque show this evening, but there was no chance of me leaving the house ... see title of today's Journal entry. This was very disappointing, as who wouldn't want to see attractive, near naked ladies dancing?  

I suppose, in retrospect, it might not be everyone's cup of tea, but 30% and Mummy Sheila said it was a quite fantastic evening ... Bugger! ... sad face :-(

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* or, to be more specific, the lavatory

Duvet day

I'm not well. 

I woke early, dressed and felt as weak as the proverbial kitten. I carefully negotiated my way downstairs, where I managed to make and drink a cup of coffee. I then fell asleep on the sofa and woke around eight o'clock, feeling no better. At this point I thought I had better wander up the orchard to attend to the chickens. This minor effort exhausted me and I returned to the settee bolloxed!

I did nothing today other than alternate between sleeping and trips to the bathroom. My diet has been toast and marmite, and not in large quantities.

This doesn't make very interesting reading, so I'll tell a tale from last week.  On occasion I do like to pull 30%'s leg and I had her hooked with this little narrative.

I had her convinced that hedgehogs shed their spines in the Autumn and then grow a new set in the Spring.  I think I may have gone too far when I embellished this bullshit by saying that the, now spine free, hedgehogs then burrow beneath the soil and spend the Winter as moles.

She twigged that I was talking utter crap and pointed out that this was probably the reason why TP was putting off starting a family. Apparently these tall tales are not to be told to gullible grandchildren.

Pharaoh's Revenge

This morning I was up and out of the door by half past seven, for an appointment at the eye clinic at eight thirty. I wandered in to the clinic reception, ten minutes in advance of my appointment time, checked in and chose a seat in the waiting area.

At that time in the morning the clinic was very quiet and the pendulum of time swung slowly. At a quarter to nine I wandered up to the reception desk and asked what the expected wait time was, as I had other appointments to attend.

At this point the receptionist deigned to inform me that the doctor hadn't yet arrived and she had no idea of when he would be on-site. I firmly expressed my dissatisfaction, advising that they should allow adequate time for their home to work journey and this was nothing other than rudeness and poor customer service. At this point little miss sunshine advised me that the doctor had a three hour journey in to work. At his point my mental gears ground. This meant that the doctor was getting on to the road at about five thirty to stand a chance of making the appointment time. The gears ground a little more and I wondered "did I really want an eye examination from someone who had got up in the middle of the night and battled motorway traffic to peer in to my eyes?". The answer is obviously "NO". I do not want some totally stressed out. road rage infected crazy attempting to improve an ongoing eye condition. I want a doctor that is relaxed and on top form giving me an accurate diagnosis and treatment path.

I declined to wait and insisted on another appointment, that their doctor might actually get their shit together and make the effort to turn up.

The rest of the day was the normal post-holiday activities of unpacking, washing and so forth. As the day went on I started to feel not quite right, and this progressed to definitely not right by the late afternoon. It seems that I have picked up a stomach bug. My evening was spent huddled on the sofa enduring waves of stomach cramps and intense fatigue.

I really do not feel well.

Homeward bound

GMT +2

03.00 get up
03.15 hotel check out
03.30 taxi to airport
04.10 airport check in
06.00 flight in to Cairo
09.20 connecting flight to Heathrow

GMT

12.25 land at Heathrow
14.00 finally find the right car park and head towards the M40
16.00 arrive home
17.00 Tesco for essential pork based foodstuffs
18.00 collect the dogs
18.20 finally we're all back home


A final thought on EgyptAir "this plane is so shitty, it wouldn't surprise me if it just fell out of the air somewhere over Europe". Seriously, it is like the worst minicab I have ever been in!

Our last day in Aswan

 It's our last day in Aswan and, after a leisurely breakfast,  we headed off down the Corniche that borders the Nile. Our destination was a small Ptolemaic temple dedicated to ISIS that was about a mile from our hotel. It was an easy walk and we found the temple in a fenced, dusty depression encircled by apartment buildings.

It was petite, compared to the  likes of Edfu, and was probably no more than 30m square.  After exploring this fun sized monument we headed back towards the hotel, taking a diversion through the public gardens next to the old cataract hotel.  We paused for coffee there and took in the rather fine view of the temple ruins at the southern end of Elephantine island.

We then headed back to the Obelisk hotel and relaxed by the pool. I read and 30% sunbathed. 

Our last excursion was a trip over to Elephantine for a late lunch/early dinner at the King Jamaica restaurant ... a rather tasty Egyptian mixed grill with Nubian mint tea to wash it down.

Then it was back to the hotel to pack, watch our last sunset and a final G&T on the terrace.  We were both in bed before nine as we have a horrifically early start tomorrow morning. 

Day of rest

 Sunday was another lazy day.  We lazed by the pool in the morning, basking in the warm sun and continuing with my holiday read.

After a late, and quite disappointing, lunch we headed out and down the Corniche. Within a few minutes we had struck a deal with one of the locals and had hired a felucca for a couple of hours.

Our Nubian captain was a little eccentric* and seemed to be constantly chattering with himself and then breaking off to engage with us in broken, but adequate English. 

We pulled out into the current and tacked northward around Elephantine island before landing at Kitchener's island. There we spent a pleasant half hour walking through the rather fine botanical garden. A local lad adopted us and was a rather good guide. His approach was to offer us crushed fragrant leaves of various plants and then ask us to guess what plants they came from.

It was a great multi sensory experience that we both really enjoyed and, most surprisingly, he refused a tip at the end of the mini tour.

We returned to our felucca and our captain piloted us up the cataract to the west of Elephantine island.  The sun was setting as we passed the mausoleum of the Aga Khan on the crest of a low hill on the west bank. It was a fine sight in the fading light with feluccas sailing in the foreground. 

We sailed around the southern tip of Elephantine island as the sky darkened and our last few downstream tacks were in darkness.

Despite it being another lazy day we were both exhausted by the end of it. Dinner plans were revised and we just had a rather good steak at the hotel's Italian restaurant. 

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* I later worked out that he was just very stoned.

Kom Ombo & Edfu

 This morning we met our guide; Mustapha in the hotel reception and then headed out to meet our driver.

Our plan for today was to visit the Ptolemaic temples at Kom Ombo and Edfu. Kom Ombo was our first stop about 45 km North of Aswan. It was a magnificent sight against a bright blue sky and we spent more than an hour exploring. The temple is unusual in that it is dedicated to two gods; Horus, the falcon headed God and Sobek, the crocodile headed deity. We also popped in to the Crocodile Museum on site. This small museum displays many mummified crocodiles and other offerings made in honour of Sobek.

It was then another 65 km drive further North to Edfu. The temple is even more magnificent than the one at Kom Ombo and is beautifully preserved as a result of being virtually covered by the desert sands. It has an impressive pylon entrance leading to a courtyard and hypostile halls.  My words will not do it justice, but it is a fascinating and quite beautiful site.  One cannot be anything other than awed by the skill and artistry of those who designed, organised and constructed this temple over two thousand years ago.

Mustapha lives in Edfu, so we left him there and our driver returned us to Aswan. I'd like to recount the drive back along the desert road, but I slept through most of it, waking as we entered the outskirts of the city.

Lazy day

 Today was a lazy day. 30% sunbathed by the pool and I alternated between reading a book* and watching the Feluccas** sail up and down the Nile.

A gin and tonic was sipped on the terrace as the sun set and then we tidied ourselves before heading into town for some traditional fare.

We'll be back to temples tomorrow. 

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* Mythos by Stephen Fry

** A traditional wooden sailing boat.

Abu Simbel

 Today was a day that I had been looking forward to for many years. A trip to see the temples at Abu Simbel.

We were outside our hotel at 4.00 a.m. and things went downhill from there. A tourist bus rolled up and called 30%'s name. We clambered in and set off. After about forty minutes the driver's companion took a phone call and, in very broken English, asked if 30% was an Italian lady called Serena! We said "no" and he said we had misunderstood him.

The bus turned around and headed back to our hotel. More calls took place before we were invited back onto the bus and our journey resumed. It took three hours to cover the 280 km to Abu Simbel plus the forty minutes to head back to Obelisk Hotel. We haven't got a clue what had happened, so decided to try to go with the flow.

We eventually arrived at Abu Simbel at nine o'clock and it was packed. There were people and tourist buses everywhere. It was a stark contrast to the mellow experience at Philae yesterday.

We wandered down the slope to the temples and got our first view of their magnificent facades. Hordes of people milled in front of them like ants. Our guide gave us a quick overview of what we would see and gave us about forty minutes to view the temple. We were concerned that this wasn't enough time, but we were wrong.  We would have liked to have spent more than an hour in there but it was rammed with people ... literally a rugby scrum. It was virtually impossible to take a photo as we were jostled and barged. I put my camera away and tried to make memories instead.

Abu Simbel temple,
with careful editing of the hordes

The smaller temple was no different and by ten thirty we were back in the bus, tired and a little disappointed. 

We were both glad we got to see the temples, but it wasn't a pleasant experience. The crowded and noisy environment really diminished the splendour and marvels of Egyptian monumental architecture. 

If we were to do it again we would stay overnight in Abu Simbel city and view the temples later in the day when the crowds thin significantly. 

Health alert

 My vitamin P and H* levels have plummeted to dangerously low levels and I am concerned that I may need to seek treatment at a secular medical centre.

Alternatively, a pigs in blanket suppository might work if administered by a suitably qualified practitioner. 

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* methylated protein chains found predominantly in pork products. A good source of vitamin P is a pork pie and bacon is a rich source of vitamin H.

The Philae Temple and other sights

 It was an early start this morning. We were up, dressed and breakfasted by half past six as 30% had arranged for us to be picked up by our tour guide a little after seven.

Today our itinerary included the temple at Philae, the Aswan High Dam, the unfinished obelisk and a boat trip through the first Nile cataract followed by a visit to the Nubian village with afternoon tea.

Our guide; Mustapha was charming and friendly and his narratives at the sites were splendidly informative; ranging from broad narrative to delightful, amusing little nuggets. We can now tell the difference between the cartouches of Hathor and Isis!*

Philae temple was beautiful and quite fantastic. It took ten years for it to be rescued and relocated after the original island was flooded by the creation of lake Nasser in the 1970's. Clearly it was a monumental effort to achieve this, but the original construction with little more than iron tools and manual labour is mind boggling!

Philae temple, Aswan

A boat ferried us to and from Philae and the we were chauffeured over to the Aswan High Dam to take in the views; South over Lake Nasser stretching 500 km towards Sudan and North back towards Aswan.

After the dam we headed back in to the city to the site of an ancient Egyptian granite quarry. Aswan is the source for all of Egypt's ancient red granite statuary and this particular quarry was where an attempt was made to extract a 41m granite obelisk, at the command of Queen Hapshepsut.  Unfortunately the huge stone cracked during the quarrying process and remains there.  Again it is astounding to consider the monumental skill and  effort that would have been required to mine, extract, move and erect stelae of this size!

After hiking around a quarry we had a gentle hour boating up the fist cataract before spending a lovely hour with a Nubian family in their home. We drank sweet mint tea, chatted and met Za'atar, a huge, 85 year old African spurred tortoise. She was surprisingly sprightly for such an old lady.

Za'atar

We arrived back at our hotel in the afternoon. It will be dinner and an early night as we are up before four tomorrow for a trip to Abu Simbel. 

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* The cartouche of Isis features a throne, whilst that of Hathor has a house.

A traveller's nightmare

 Yesterday's flight into Cairo landed about an hour later than scheduled and we had a mad rush across the airport to make our domestic flight to Aswan.

As we collapsed in to seats A and B, row 30, we wondered about our luggage. I casually bet the contents of my wallet, that our suitcase wouldn't make it on to the Aswan flight.

We landed close to midnight and, after checking the domestic and international luggage carousels, it became apparent that I was right ... BOLLOCKS!  A friendly member of the airport staff shepherded us through a deserted airport and we stumbled our way through the lost luggage procedure. We were told to call the airport in the morning. Neither of us was particularly optimistic about seeing our suitcase again.

Fortunately our taxi driver was waiting to meet us and it was a fairly short drive to the Hotel Obelisk. 30% fired off a couple of emails to cancel Tuesday's planned trip and we collapsed into bed.

This morning we got the hotel receptionist to call the airport and we were advised that we should have our case by midday. We couldn't establish if they had definitely found it, or whether this was optimism polished and honed way beyond the level of standard bullshit.

We filled our morning with a wander around the Nubian Museum. I think each of us was still travel fatigued and dreading the thought of shopping for clothes.

Noon time came and we returned to the hotel. Amazingly our case had arrived. With the stress dissipating, we took the local ferry across to Elephantine Island and explored a little.

Gardens behind the Nubian village
Elephantine Island, Aswan

Now we can relax and start our holiday.

Mostly travelling

It was an early start this morning. I was up before six and we were out of the door by seven.

The dogs were loaded into the Defender along with a mountain of food and a selection of beds. It was then a quick run in to Redditch to drop them off at the Boarder's house.

We then retraced our steps to let the chickens out, pick up our bags and swap cars.

By eight thirty we were heading towards Heathrow.  It was a trouble free drive and we were parked and entering Terminal 2 before the eleven o'clock.

 
It was at this point that I encountered the general public and it appears that most of them had never experienced a lift* before.  Fuck me! There were only 5 floors. How the hell do you manage to cock that up? In my eight months of retirement I'd forgotten about stupid people.

Anyway, I'm now sat at an altitude of 11,200 metres with an airspeed close to 900 kph. Zagreb is off to my left and we should land in Cairo in two and a half hours.
I'm not sure how often I  will be able to post in The Journal, but I'll do my best. As for pictures, you'll just have to wait until I get home.

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* Elevator, if you're from across the pond.

One bag, 23 kg maximum

Storm Bert was still blowing across the Midlands this morning and I woke to a grey blustery day.

There's not a lot to report for today, as the weather just made us want to stay indoors.

My main achievement was to pack our clothes into a single suitcase, keep within the baggage allowance  and not initiate World War 3.*

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* by asking "why the fuck are you taking that?"

Winding down?

 With two days to go before we head off to Egypt, our focus has shifted to holiday preparations.

We are only away for eight days and our holiday mantra has always been "provided we have passports, insulin and a credit card we'll be fine".  Consequently neither of us is getting in to a flap. Holiday wear and other essentials have been placed in relatively neat piles and, at some point on Sunday, I will be called upon to pack them in to a suitcase.

I have prepared a mental list of what the dogs will need at the boarders and that will get chucked in to the Defender at some point tomorrow too.

So that was it for Saturday.  A lengthy snooze took place in the afternoon, and a little light reading took place.  Also, the winds and rain brought in by Storm Bert discouraged me from venturing outside, unless it was absolutely necessary. It was definitely an indoors sort of day. Egypt's sunshine and warmth will be a welcome change.

Carrot Cake - part 2

 Friday's baking got me thinking about my original carrot cake recipe, so I googled again and actually managed to track it down.

A pdf of the user manual for a Sharp microwave/oven grill* was found and here is an excerpt.

I clearly recall that I doubled the quantities, used two tins and baked this cake in an oven rather than a microwave. I can't remember anything about the temperature or timing, but, as a rule, I used to cook everything at Gas Mark 5!

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* When I separated from TP's biological mother, she took the cooker. I survived with the Sharp microwave, a toaster and a kettle for a good few months until my auntie Joan gave me her old gas cooker. I recall that it was dark green and the numbers on the oven control had been rubbed off. I learnt that you didn't need to be that precise about oven temperature when cooking.

The last of the carrot crop

 I dug up the last of my carrot crop back on the twelfth of the month and the final few are still sat on the bottom of the fridge.  They really need to be consumed and today I made my token contribution.

One of the first meals that I cooked for 30% was a roast lamb dinner and I had baked a carrot cake for dessert. This was back in 2002 and I don't think I have baked another in the intervening years.  The cake must have been pretty good, as 30% still speaks very fondly of it, and it only took her the best part of twenty years to agree to marry me.

Anyway, back to the narrative. A few days ago 30% suggested that it would be nice to make a carrot cake with some of our carrots, as they are very sweet.  I very rarely bake,* so I was a little apprehensive, but I didn't take a huge amount of convincing that this was a good idea.  I no longer had the recipe so successfully used to woo 30%, so I scoured the internet for an alternative.

The BBC Good Food website came to my rescue with the recipe detailed below. I did have to adjust the ingredient quantities, as the original was for a 20 cm cake tin and mine are 23 cm.

Ingredients & Method

- Oil two baking tins and line with baking parchment

- Pre heat oven to 160 ℃ (fan)

• 290 ml vegetable oil
• 125g plain yoghurt
• 5 eggs
• 2 tsp vanilla essense
• the zest from 3/4 of an orange

- Place the above ingredients in a jug and whisk together

• 330g self raising flour
• 420g soft brown sugar
• 1/2 tsp ground nutmeg
• 3 tsp ground cinnamon
• 2 tsp bicarbonate of soda
• a good pinch of salt

- Place the dry ingredients in a bowl and mix well, ensuring that there are no lumps.

• 330g grated carrots
• 125g rasins or sultanas
• 65g of roughly chopped walnuts

- Finally mix the wet ingredients with the dry ones and stir in the carrots, raisons and chopped walnuts. 
- Mix well and divide between two cake tins
- The recipe suggested a bake of 25 - 30 mins, although feedback indicated that forty minutes was more realistic. Note: With the increased quantities and larger tins, my bake was about an hour
- Place in the oven and bake until a skewer comes out clean. 
- Once cooked, remove from the oven and leave to cool on a rack in the cake tins 

Once the cake has cooled it can be iced, but it also freezes well. As we are off to Egypt on Monday, I did exactly that. The two cakes were double wrapped in clingfilm and then finished with a jacket of aluminium foil, before being put in the freezer.  They'll be thawed and iced much nearer to Christmas.

Icing Ingredients and Method

• 125g slightly salted butter
• 375g icing sugar
• 125g full fat cream cheese

- Beat the butter and sugar together until smooth
- Add half of the cream cheese and beat again
- Beat in the remaining cheese bit by bit, to prevent the icing splitting
- Use half of the icing as a filling and the remainder as a topping 

- Sprinkle 65g of chopped walnuts on the top 

So, there you go. Friday's achievement was a carrot cake. I'll let you know how it turns out later next month.

Note to self: Reviews of this recipe question the icing ingredients, suggesting that the quantities are insufficient and that there is far too much icing sugar.

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* Apart from the bakery course at Butter Street on the nineteenth of October, the last time I baked was when I made a sourdough loaf during lockdown. If I'm honest, I don't think the "reward" of a sourdough loaf is worth the faff of making a sourdough starter ...I'm not a fan.

Getting on with things

Apparently The Rat aka Dog#4 has an annoying habit of bopping 30% gently with her paw at around six in the morning. The bopping continues until 30% rises and lets The Rat out for a pee.  I say this is "allegedly annoying" because The Rat very rarely wakes me. I can be up well before 30% and The Rat still rouses 30% so that she can go out and complete her early morning round of the gardens.

This morning was a case in point. 30% was away on her Spa break and I woke at around half past seven. The dogs were still snoring and, in fact, I had to call them from their beds and encourage them to go out and empty their bladders.  Part of me thinks that The Rat is well aware that 30% is not an early riser and takes an evil pleasure in dragging her from her bed a good couple of hours before she would prefer to rise.

Anyway, on to today's comings and goings.  

First on the list was to taxi Sheila in to Alcester to pick up her car from the bodyshop. I killed two birds with one stone and fuelled the Defender, as we were passing the petrol station.

Once back at home I headed out with the dogs and enjoyed a short walk down the lane. The weather is cold and bright and the dogs loved bounding over the patches of crunchy snow along the verges. 

The weather might be sunny, but it is cold and my next task was indoors. I retired to the computer and drafted a set of chicken care instructions for the son of one of our neighbours. He has agreed to look after them while we are away and I have already shown him the ropes, but I thought a brief summary might be useful.  As a parent I am well aware of the attention span of your average teenager!

The afternoon saw me attend to a couple of jobs that really needed doing before we head off to Egypt. I wrapped the tree ferns in some horticultural fleece and, as I was doing that, I noticed that 30% hadn't wrapped up her dahlia tubers.  We have had a couple of frosts and I am well aware that they aren't frost hardy.  I took a chance and wrapped them in newspaper and tucked them away in the frost free store room ... I really hope that I don't find a rotten mess when I return to them in the Spring.

The other job was to give The Rat a quick hair cut before they all head off to the Dog Boarder.  It was nothing too severe, just a quick clip of her face and paws to tidy her up and make her look a little less feral.

That's about it for Thursday apart from mentioning that 30% and Jules arrived home late in the afternoon, having aborted their Spa break due to yesterday's medication mishap. 

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Post Script: It looks like the second week in December might be a busy one for me. 30% advised that the electricity supply company have been in touch and will be felling the conifer that obstructs our electricity feed on the 9th of December.  That'll see me out with the chainsaw and axe; cutting and splitting logs for the following few days.

The best laid plans ...

 of mice and men oft go awry.

Well that seemed to be the theme for today. Let me explain. I didn't have a particularly busy day planned and apart for a trip in to Alcester to pick up a few essentials and an appointment at the Doctor's Surgery* I didn't achieve much.

The plans that went awry were those of 30% and mummy Sheila. 

Sheila's car was in for a paintwork repair and I had volunteered to take her in to Alcester at around five o'clock to collect it. Five o'clock came and went and it eventually transpired that it wouldn't be ready until tomorrow morning. Sheila's evening was totally screwed, and it looks like I'll be running her in to Alcester bright and early on Thursday.

As for 30%, she and Jules had headed off to Ashby de la Zouch for a Spa break.  She phoned this evening and I asked if they were having a fun time. "Not really" was her reply and she went on to explain that she had managed to misplace one of her insulin pens.** As a result, she is highly likely to be back home tomorrow.

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* My GP had requested that I make an appointment, following receipt of a referral request from my Optician.  I was quite annoyed by this as my GP's surgery received the referral request around the third of November, but were unable to offer me an appointment until early December ... until I made a fuss! So basically they were unwilling to make the referral until they had discussed it with me, but wouldn't be available for that conversation for a month ... another month of painful eyes and no progress being made. 

As for the brush off I got from the snotty cow at the reception desk when I attempted to point out that my Diabetic Review was well overdue ... Don't Ask!

** This is not a good thing for a Type 1 diabetic to do. We become very unwell, very quickly without insulin. Fortunately she was still in possession of her fast acting insulin and would be able to maintain a degree of blood sugar control until normal service was restored.

It's a good job I brought the Tree Ferns in

I woke early this morning and, as I peered out in to the dark, everything seemed lighter than it should be. Moonlight, I thought and then I noticed the steady fall of large, soft snowflakes.  Snow had been forecast for the North of the Midlands, but had not been expected to get this far South. Clearly the Met Office had got it wrong, as there was a good couple of inches on the ground and it was still falling, thick and fast.

Unexpected, but quite lovely

Now I love a snowy day, but this was cold, wet snow and, with temperatures above freezing, I guessed that a lot of it would be slush by the end of the day. Thoughts of walking with the dogs through dry, powdery snow were abandoned and I decided that indoors was the place for me.

This morning I gave my shotgun a long overdue clean and also arranged a test ride on a BMW R 1250 R. The test ride is scheduled for the sixth of December and, pessimist that I am, I expect the weather to be miserable. I therefore extracted my motorcycle jacket from the wardrobe and used the last of the Nikwax to reproof it. As I said yesterday "I hope it works".

My final accomplishment was to make an attempt to deal with the lodgers in the loft.  

One of the downsides of living in a rural cottage is that we do tend to get an influx of mice towards the end of the year. I haven't a clue how they do it, but the little buggers manage to climb the exterior of the cottage and take up residence in the roof space.  I can then hear the noisy little sods as they scurry around during the hours of darkness.

Bait blocks were liberally scattered and traps were set. I can report a single kill in a trap set a couple of weeks ago, but I know there are more up there.

Finally, I suppose I should make some reference to the title of today's entry.  Apparently tree ferns are not fully hardy, only being capable of tolerating -5℃, so it's a good job I moved them to the greenhouse a couple of days back.  I don't think a crown filled with wet snow would have done them much good.

Failed again

 I really need to sort out my motorcycle insurance. I have got as far as getting all the paperwork together and have even bookmarked the insurance comparison website. However, every time I settle to complete this task I manage to find something else to do instead ... and today was no different.

I settled at my computer this morning and my attention was diverted by a subscription offer to the New Scientist website.  I have read NS since I was a student and most days I tend to peruse the day's new articles and, cheapskate that I am, read the ones that are free.  Today, however, I finally committed and subscribed. That lead me down a fantastic rabbit hole of interesting science articles and I spent a lot of time, and I meant a LOT of time, engrossed in recent scientific discoveries.

It was not a particularly pleasant day so I decided that indoor jobs were the order of the day. I emptied the pockets of my gardening coats and set about cleaning them and re-waterproofing them using a product called Nikwax. Watch this space to see whether I am singing their praises or condemning them to eternal damnation the next time it rains. 

It should be noted that I hate getting wet. I don't mind being out in the rain. I just loathe it if my coat leaks. There is nothing worse than that cold trickle of rain down the back of your neck, or the slow realisation that you're starting to get cold and damp where a seam has let the rain through.

Sorry, went off on a bit of a tangent there. So, I waterproofed the coats and also wandered up to the hives. It is way too cold for an inspection, but I wanted to remove the syrup feeders and replace them with a pack of fondant. Once the temperature drops the bees will no longer feed on syrup, but they will consume fondant. Bee fondant is similar to the stuff that is plastered on the outside of cakes, but has less additives. A kilo pack of fondant was placed on the crown board of each hive and the feeders were taken back to the house and given a good scrubbing.

I then tidied myself up and headed in to Worcester for this week's appointment with the Ophthalmologist. Apparently my intraocular pressure has reduced, but not enough and I have been prescribed yet another eye drop and will be back at the clinic the day after we return from Egypt. It seems that my eyes respond to a course of steroids by pushing up the IOP. She also decided that the punctal plugs hadn't alleviated my symptoms, so they were removed ... far more gently than the bloody insertion.

So that was Monday. It looks like I might be sorting out my insurance tomorrow ... or Wednesday!

Mostly surrounded by people

Yep, the title pretty much sums up my weekend.

I'm "funny" about people. I am quite happy in my own company and can spend days alone without feeling lonely. 30% will be disappearing for a few days this coming week, as she is off for a Spa break with Jules. I have no problem with this. I will be quite happy pottering and preparing for our upcoming holiday.  However, I do enjoy company, it's just that I am very selective about the company I keep.

I am happy to meet new people, and some transition from acquaintance to friendship. The problem is when I have to spend meaningful time with people, who I would prefer to be acquaintances, but seem to have inadvertently managed to cross into the friendship camp.

Fundamentally, I am choosy about the company I keep and this weekend was spent with groups that definitely included family, friends and acquaintances.  Consequently my experience ranged from "enjoyable" to "kill me now".

Saturday morning started with a quick trip to the supermarket where we divided and conquered. 30% toured the aisles for essentials and I visited the bureau d'exchange and converted Stirling to dollars for our upcoming Egypt trip.

We then headed down the road to 30%'s brother's house. He and his wife had agreed to host a family get together to celebrate his and TP's recent birthdays. It was a pleasant enough few hours, but you know how it is with in-laws ... they have their own little in jokes and a strong tendency to start to talk about events and people that mean abso-fucking-lutely nothing unless you were present ... and I wasn't. 

There is also the undercurrent of tension resulting from the recent rounds of in-fighting and personal slights.  As a "non-family" member of this group I am either unable to participate or not permitted to voice an opinion. 

As a result I tend to sit on the periphery of these events, joining in when I can, but well aware that there is a Venn digram of them and us.  30% sits in the intersection.

So that was Saturday. Sunday was similar, but I think I sat in the larger Venn bubble.

It was time for mine and TP's annual pilgrimage to Motorcycle live at the NEC. This year we were joined by Bubbles, Bubbles' father-in-law; Steve and TP's mate; Charlie. 

We had a great day wandering around. The show was very busy and a group of five was never going to work. However sub-groups formed and re-formed throughout the day when we bumped in to each other. Bubbles is working his way through the labours of Hercules* more commonly known as the UK Motorcycle Test and this was his first experience of just what was on offer. He had a great day and now has a germ of an idea about what sort of bike might work for him.

As for me, I got to sit on the BMW R1250R and, hopefully, will be contacted in the near future for a test ride ... Mind you, the low seat version of the new R1300 GS would be tempting ... If I won the lottery!

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* Completing these is probably more straightforward than getting a bike license in the UK.

Opera, steam, teach ...

... They're all good words to start the daily Wordle puzzle.  The Wordle Witch had her favourites; opera was one of them, whilst I always preferred to pick a five letter word that related to a significant event from the preceding day ... mowed was often used!

Today wasn't great. It was the Wordle Witch's funeral. I have been to three funerals in the past month and I think this is the one that has affected me the most. I have already mentioned that WW was a ray of sunshine and always a delight to spend time with. At sixty four years of age, she has gone far too soon and she will be missed.

Both 30% and I have noted that we frequently think "Oh WW would like that", we expect to see her at a local event, or think about inviting her along to one of our upcoming excursions. And then there is the sad realisation that she is with us no more.

I completed today's wordle puzzle in three guesses; TACKY and thought "I wonder how many Lou would have got it in?" I know three is a damned good score, but I bet she would have done just as well, if not better.

We'll miss you Lou.

Mr Fix-it

 Today was not the busiest of days.

This morning I was called upon to fulfil one of my fatherly/husbandly duties. Apparently, upon becoming an adult in a relationship, I became responsible for the repair of anything my ham-fisted wife/progeny manage to break. 

Today 30% advised that she had managed to break her spectacles chain within two days of purchase. I took a look and, initially, was tempted to throw it straight in the bin. Basically the chain had snapped close to the end where it is attached to the arm of the glasses. The chain was incredibly fine and re-attaching it to the end was going to be challenging. I won't bore you with the detail, but I got creative with super glue reinforced with baking powder and was able to make a loop in the chain and bond it to itself.

30% was happy with the repair and I was able to slope off and spend the rest of the morning achieving absolutely nothing apart from scrutiny of the New Scientist website and cataloguing a couple of recent additions to my vintage Hornby Dublo collection.

The afternoon saw me slightly tinged with guilt after such a lazy morning, so I wandered out to the veg patch and laid a weed inhibiting membrane around three sides of the raised beds. This was then topped with a healthy layer of shredded bark and I must admit that it does now look rather tidy. I cannot complete the fourth side of the raid beds until I install the Victorian edging that we acquired  back in August.  That can wait until the weather is warmer and the ground is not so wet.

So that just about covers Thursday's activities apart from the confirmatory call from the drainage contractors ... They will be here on the ninth!

Insurance annoyance

 Wednesday morning wasn't particularly busy, but it was certainly productive. His Majesty's Inspectorate of Taxes have completed their review of my tax return, so I was able to submit a request for my rebate.  It is a reasonable sum, but I am pretty sure that it has already been spent on the upcoming drainage and paving work ... bugger!

I also carried out a quick motorcycle insurance comparison and then contacted my current insurer to ask them if they could do any better than this year's renewal quote.  As an aside they had decided to increase my premium by about 23% but offered no explanation for this.  After a very long wait they advised that they could make a reduction of about fourteen pounds on a four hundred and sixteen pound premium. I'm certain that it comes as no surprise that I politely, but firmly, declined to renew with them.

It looks like tomorrow morning will be spent on Insurance comparison sites working out the best deal.

In the afternoon I ventured out to the garden for a couple of hours. The verges were mowed and I swept up the last of the leaves from the Ash tree by the gate. As my leaf mould crates are full to the brim, I had a small bonfire to dispose of the last of the leaves.

The garden is looking quite tidy at the moment and far, far better than it did this time last year. I am, however, a little concerned that it will look like the Somme after our drainage contractors have completed their works.

Rodin's Kiss

The dry weather continues and, as a result, I was out in the garden again.

This morning I dug the last of the carrot crop from the smaller of the raised beds and discovered this homage to Rodin in vegetable form.

The Kiss

I then spent a merry hour hand weeding both the beds and the path around them before applying a manure mulch to the smaller bed.*

In the afternoon I dragged the Beast from its lair and mowed the lawns at the front of the cottage. The garden is now looking a lot tidier as Winter draws closer.

The spell of dry weather also meant that this evening's walk with Bobbyn and the dogs was pleasant, rather than the muddy chore that is more usual in the wetter months.

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* The larger raised bed will need to wait until the leeks have been harvested

Oh, it's olive green

 In recent Journal entries I've mentioned that the weather has been grey and dreary for many days.  Grey it might have been, but it has also been very mild and the lawns are still growing.  They were last mowed at the beginning of the month and the bloody things need doing again!

It's always a challenge to keep them tidy at this time of the year as they never dry out properly, but if they are left to grow they will be a tangled, yellow mess when they get their first cut of 2025. I therefore planned to cut them this afternoon, once the worst of the dew had dissipated.*

This morning was taken up with chauffeuring 30% for an eye test. Normally she would drive herself, but the test involved dilation of her pupils and driving is never a good idea immediately after that. On our return I had some time to kill before lunch and my gaze fell upon my gardening hat.

It is a manky, sweaty item, but an absolute must in a garden with many overhanging branches. I'd love a pound for every time it has save me from a scraped or bumped pate. Anyway, back to this morning. My eyes fell upon my grotty gardening hat and I decided to try to do something about it. The care label said wipe clean only, but it was several years of use beyond a that treatment, so I dumped the damned thing in a bowl of hot water with a generous measure of detergent and gave it a vigorous drubbing. 

After a few minutes of washing the water looked more like the Avon in flood and I pulled out the hat to take a look. It looked much cleaner, but extremely dishevelled. It didn't look like a happy thing; almost like the clothing equivalent of a soaked sheep.  I gave it a damned good rinse and, as I type, it has been re-shaped and left to drip dry on a rack in the utility room. 

We had assumed that the hat was a dirty brown, but, as is says in today's entry title; it's actually olive green.

The rest of the afternoon was spent in the garden. Leaves were raked and piled in the crates up in the orchard and the lawns at the rear of the cottage were mowed. The forecast for the next week suggests that it could be cooler, whilst still fine. 

Hopefully that'll slow the grass growth.

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* Fat chance of that!

Let's go to the pub

Today started with a WhatsApp message to wish TP a happy birthday. A card was sent and a call will take place later in the day, but presents will be ...  well presented, when he visits next weekend.

The day was then rudely interrupted when 30% took a call from Mrs Tweedy.* She had decided that she wanted to come over to view the cascade of hand knitted poppies that flow down the side of the village church bell tower ... an installation for Remembrance Sunday.  She obviously thought that we I would be delighted if she combined this with a visit and spent a fucking grim happy hour in her company.**

This would have been almost tolerable, but for the fact that within minutes of Mrs Tweedy's arrival, 30% disappeared to help out with a stray dog out on the Three Miler. I was therefore left to host Mr & Mrs Tweedy and accompany them down to the church for an outdoor Remembrance Service. Now I enjoy the company of Mr Tweedy, but his good lady is the death of mirth at the best of times and I really struggled.

Anyway, they eventually left and we were able to enjoy the rest of our Sunday.

30% and I attempted to slim down my collection of shirts,*** but I think we only managed to find half a dozen that I could bear to part with. Note to self: Try wearing a shirt with a collar, rather than a T-shirt when you go out.

A little before three o'clock we headed down the lane with Hobson to the pub on the village green.  Mid-Life Crisis had agreed to do another show after the success of their musical afternoon back in August. Today they sang inside the pub and their show was equally successful with several of the punters dancing in the tiny public bar.

Once again Hobson was the star and he received a huge amount of attention as he alternated between lying at the feet of one of the singers or perching between us on a pew to take in the show. We stayed for nearly three hours before heading home and agreeing that a takeaway was the perfect way to end the weekend.

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* My mother-in-law. I don't really need to say anything else, other than she makes Les Dawson's mother-in-law look like a paragon of virtue and kindness.

** Her happy face looks like she has just licked dogs piss off a thistle and I don't see her happy face very often!

*** 30% used to say that I had sixty shirts. This was a complete exaggeration. The final tally was a little over thirty, not counting T-shirts or sweatshirts.

I thought Saturday was for taking it easy

 Today was always going to be a busy day.

We had only just finished breakfast when our friend and landscaping contractor; Jason pulled up at the gate. I have already mentioned that we have engaged the services of a team to sort out the garden drainage and, hopefully, our friendly landscaper will then come in to replace the paving in front of the house and the low wall that borders the front lawn.

I spent twenty minutes talking Jason through the various aspects of the job and then we spent another forty minutes chatting at the gate with his mum* who, by coincidence, happened to be walking past with her dogs.

Once Jason had left I headed in to the kitchen and prepped and blanched two of the celeriac stems that I had unearthed yesterday. 

These activities consumed most of the morning. After lunch we threw the dogs in to the Defender and headed in to Redditch for a walk around the Abbey Fields.**  30% felt that it would be valuable for our dog boarder to see how our dogs behaved on a walk and with other dogs, so she had arranged this session in advance of their stay at the end of the month.

If I am totally honest I really didn't fancy a walk around a muddy field in the cold, but it was much better than expected and we had a pleasant hour getting to know our dog boarder better. She had already got a "good vibe" from our dogs as she has sussed that our three are well socialised and well behaved. This bodes well for the future, as our last experience with boarding kennels was awful. I think we both have a good feeling about Kate (the dog boarder) as she seems caring and practical ... this will allow us 30% to go away and not worry about the dogs.

Having walked with Kate, we then headed home and had a quick cup of coffee before heading out again. This time it was over to Worcester for a check up at the eye clinic. It was pretty much as expected, they are concerned about my intraocular pressure, but it could simply be a side effect of the four weeks of steroid treatment prescribed and recently finished.  They want to see me again in a week to see if the IOP has reduced. If there is no reduction I will be prescribed another set of eye drops.

Well, that's just about it for Saturday, at some point the blanched celeriac got put in the freezer too. I said it was a busy day. I didn't say it was exciting or interesting.

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* Grubby Sue

** This was a bit of a blast from the past. 30% used to live very close to the Abbey Fields and we would walk Sell-by-date there most days. That was twenty years ago, as we have lived in the village for twenty years, this September ... we're still classed as newcomers.

Frank Skinner at The Warwick Arts Centre

If I'm honest I achieved very little today.

First activity was to take Dog #4 aka The Rat up to the vets for her inoculations. All went well until the vet checked her teeth and advised that she badly needed her teeth descaled. This will involve a full anaesthetic and a bill in excess of £200. The surprising thing about this is that she has the same diet as the other dogs and their teeth are in beautiful condition. Apparently "some dogs get tartar, others don't" and The Rat is one of those that do. An appointment was made and she'll be descaled in early December.

On our return the dull, grey and damp weather did not encourage me to venture far from the house, but  I did make it as far as the veg patch, where I dug up three celeriac plants. I got as far as washing off the earth and removing the leaves and fine roots, before abandoning them in the utility room and finding something far less muddy to keep me occupied.

I finally settled on a novel, that I had started to re-read a good while back, but had abandoned as soon as the day length increased and the weather had improved in the Spring. This kept me amused and occupied until it was time to head over to the Warwick Arts Centre for the third time in the past three weeks.

This evening's performance was a stand up set by Frank Skinner and it was great.  I can't think of any particular joke or anecdote that stood out, but he has been performing live for over thirty five years and he showed a consummate ability to feed off the audience and ad lib at the drop of a hat.

We had a brilliant evening, filled with laugh out loud moments.  Some might say that his narrative might lack sophistication or structure. I just say he was bloody funny!

Of course I want typhoid!

 Now that might seem like an odd title for today's Journal entry, but all will become apparent.

30% had arranged a for us to attend a joint appointment at our local surgery for our travel inoculations. Nursey Sue went through our vaccination records and advised that 30% needed a tetanus jab and that I was up to date with all of the vaccines recommended for Egypt.

She then went on to point out that there were a few optional jabs including Hepatitis B, rabies and typhoid. Now Hep B is transmitted by exposure to bodily fluids and neither of us were planning to have a tattoo, inject intravenous drugs or come in to contact with another man's semen, so not much chance of us getting that. As for rabies, just don't stroke any cats or dogs, particularly the ones that look a bit mangy and are frothing at the mouth. 

Now we come to typhoid, it is spread through contaminated food or water. Funnily enough we both plan on eating and drinking while we are away in Egypt. We are both aware of the risks of typhoid and know that we should only drink bottled water, peel fruit, avoid street food etc. However, there is always a risk that you are going to eat something a bit iffy* and I really don't fancy going down with typhoid.  I know I could do with loosing a bit of weight, but I really don't fancy the typhoid method.

So when Nursey Sue asked me "do you want typhoid", you know what I replied.

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* I was going to make an off colour joke about waiters with shit under their fingernails, but I do have standards.

Garden Tidying

 The tomato crop has dwindled over the past few weeks and this morning I headed out to the greenhouse to pick the last of them.

After about twenty minutes I had gathered over a kilo of cherry tomatoes. Many of these had split, but that wasn't a problem as the rest of the morning was spent converting these to a batch of tomato soup. We had some with our lunch and the remainder was bagged and frozen for consumption at a later date.

Having picked the tomato plants relatively clean, I returned to the greenhouse in the afternoon and removed the withering vines. I then spent a happy hour on my hands and knees weeding and picking up any dropped fruit. 

As I weeded I saw movement in my peripheral vision and I focussed on this little fellow lurking in the corner of the greenhouse.

Who are you calling common?*

It is lovely to see wildlife in the garden, especially amphibians. We regularly see toads and have also seen the occasional frog and newt.  Their presence is quite surprising as the nearest ponds are at least 150 yards away from the house.

After finishing in the greenhouse I continued tidying in the veg patch. The pea netting was removed** and I took out the last of the runner bean plants. 30% was busy too, cutting back the perennials in the bed in the back garden.

By the end of the day 30% and I had managed to completely fill our two brown wheelie bins (garden waste). 

That's just about it for Wednesday apart from me finally submitting my tax return. I now wait for a rather nice rebate in the near future.

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* European or Common Toad (Bufo bufo)

** The pea crop didn't do well. I don't know whether it was because they were planted late or some other reason? I don't think I will grow them again as they take up a lot of space for a fairly small crop and, I'm afraid to say, frozen peas are really good.

Autumn Leaves

There is a very large Ash tree standing by the gate to the lane. It is quite the magnificent specimen and I would estimate that it is easily 130 years old.*

It is now the time of year when it drops its leaves and the drive is covered with them. Normally I would leave them until the last of the leaves have fallen before I collect them up, but the weather is dry and I would much rather sweep up dry leaves than soggy, wet ones. 

So, a couple of hours were spent sweeping up the leaves. These were then deposited in a couple of mesh lined crates up in the orchard. I prepared these back in June with the aim of producing leaf mould for use in the garden. I guess I will now need to wait a year or two to see how this experiment turns out.

The realist in me was also resigned to the fact that the drive would be covered in leaves again tomorrow.

In other news; I tweaked my tax return at the suggestion of my FA and I also dug up the last of my second crop potatoes. The tops on them have died off in the past week and I wanted to get them out of the ground before it gets too wet. The variety was Maris Peer and the crop was reasonable. The earth was washed off prior to them being stored in a cool dark place. However, I am fairly certain they will get eaten before there is any risk of them going green or rotting.

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* I knew that degree in Biological Sciences would come in useful. One nugget I recall is that you can estimate the approximate age of a tree by measuring its girth at chest height; 1" of girth equates to one year of age.

Busy doing nothing

Today was one of those days when I seemed to be occupied for most of the day, but, in retrospect, I didn't seem to have achieved much.

The roofers arrived early this morning.  The chimney at the rear of the cottage has been redundant, since we removed the old Stanley oil fired range* back in 2021 and today was the day for its flue to be removed. 

I am pretty sure that I have mentioned that we have had a number of leaks associated with this chimney and, after three or four attempts to prevent them, we decided to just have the damned thing removed. Our roofer said it was for the best. Apparently chimneys are notorious for leaks and if you don't need them, you are better to have them removed.

Anyway, back to the narrative ... The roofers arrived nice and early and blocked the drive with their flat bed wagon. This was no problem and it simply meant that I had an early morning walk down to the local surgery to pick up a prescription.

Once home I returned to my lamp project and finally assembled the components and plugged it in.

Of course it's been wired
by a qualified electrician

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* I'm not a fan of Range Cookers, but was amazed at how many people expected us to install an Aga or Rayburn in place of the festering Stanley Range that lurked in the corner of the kitchen grumbling and burping out the occasional waft of heating oil. Allegedly it provided hot water, central heating and cooking facilities. In practice it seemed to do none of these particularly well. This was evidenced by the fact that the previous owners of the cottage had an electric cooker sat alongside it and the cooker had seen a lot of use.

Basically Range Cookers are pretty much obsolete, they belong to a long gone age when women were at home all day and slow cooked brown, tasteless food on these inefficient monsters. Tastes have changes and I mean in both fashion and palate. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a good slow cooked stew as much as the next man, but I'll cook it in a 100 watt slow cooker rather than a Range that is burning several litres of fuel oil an hour.

We've got more sense that to spend thousands of pounds on an Aga and then moan about the running costs ... I've met people who have. And our kitchen isn't big enough to have a Range for show and then a proper modern hob and ovens to actually cook on and in.

I've just realised that this is an incredibly long footnote, but "Hey, there you go". 

In summary; we had the manky Stanley Range ripped out in the Spring of 2021, and replaced it with a modern, efficient Worcester Bosch oil fired Combi Boiler, an electric induction hob and an oven. Our house is now warm, we have hot water on demand, we can cook anything we fancy and our oil usage has plummeted.

10cc ?

Or, perhaps more accurately, today's entry should be entitled 2.5cc.

This evening 30% and I headed over to the Warwick Arts Centre to see a performance by 10cc. Anyone of a certain age is likely to recall the Stewart, Goldman, Godley and Creme lineup. However we were well aware that Godley & Creme quit the band years ago, so we had performed a pre-event Google to find out exactly who we were going to see.

The current touring lineup still includes Graham Gouldman plus a supporting cast, several of whom have been touring with the group since the 1970s.

I must admit to being dubious about a rock show where the most of the band were in their 70's and Gouldman is a couple of years off his eightieth birthday. I should not have been such a cynic. The show was absolutely brilliant, delivering the distinctive sound and arrangements that were true to the original releases. We both absolutely loved the show and there were no disappointments with the set list. It included many of their singles including I'm not in love, Wall Street Shuffle, Dreadlock Holiday and an a cappella version of Donna was featured as an encore.

At this point I will give a brief mention to the support act, a solo guitarist going by the name of Seb Wesson. He was fucking awful. He could play well enough, but he made us endure twenty five minutes of self-penned monotony that made the listener want to slit their wrists. It was truly dreadful and I am struggling to understand why he was picked for the tour ... he must have been cheap.  In summary; I've heard better buskers.

In other news, I had a fairly easy day. The morning was spent pottering in the garden where I mowed the verges that border the cottage, took a short walk with the dogs and cleaned the stagnant mess that had accumulated in bottom of one of the garden water butts over the Summer. It was during this task that I think I may have discovered the entrance to Hades.

Obviously cleaning out the stagnant mess involved dumping several buckets of water and sludge. I decided to empty them at the base of one of the boundary hedges and as I poured water from the first bucket I noticed a slit in the ground leading to an obvious void. The slit was about eighteen inches long by about five inches wide and it was very easy to pour the water in to it.  The noise the water made as it entered the void made it clear that the space under ground was large.

My deductive powers reasoned that I had clearly found an entrance to the underworld and I looked diligently for either Cerberus or Orcs and Goblins. I found none of these creatures, but today is Sunday and it might have been their day off. 

Alternatively I may have just located the mythical overflow pipe that runs from our septic tank across the pasture next door.

Another tube of eye drops

This morning we headed in to Alcester to visit the opticians. 30% needed to pick up her new spectacles and I needed a short consultation with the Optician.

For the past three weeks I have been treating my eyes daily with steroid eye drops.  The Specialist who prescribed them had made clear that I needed to be referred to a Cornea clinic if the condition had not significantly improved. My eyes are still not great hence today's consultation.

The Optician agreed to make the referral and we both left as satisfied customers. 30% was particularly satisfied as she negotiated a very good deal on a new pair of prescription sunglasses. All I got was some greasy gunk to smear on my eyelids before I go to bed each night.

We then popped in to see Dot 'n Dave and spent a lovely hour catching up on their news before heading home.

My afternoon was focussed on projects and the garden. My lamp base was given another coat of Danish oil and I then exhausted myself by dragging the beast from the shed and spending a taxing ninety minutes mowing the rough grass in the orchard.

If it's not getting stuck in one of the many ruts and dips, it gets lodged on windfall cooking apples. It is a real struggle but well worth it. In my mind's eye I can still see the overgrown and cluttered mess that the orchard was. It is still far from perfect, but it is so much better.

What hell is this?

Having audited and conditioned my shoe collection earlier in the week, this morning found me headed over to our nearest IKEA store in Wednesbury.

IKEA stock some rather good shoe racks. They are quite utilitarian, but perfect for my four pairs of shoes and some other footwear that we really don't need to count or discuss here.* 

After struggling with their less than user friendly web portal, I eventually managed to get the racks ordered and paid for. And this morning found me trundling up the M5 to Wednesbury to collect them.

I found the store and encountered signposting that was, shall we say, somewhat erratic! I eventually located the click 'n collect car park having performed a circuit of the store grounds. It appears that one either needs to be telepathic or be one of those maze solving rats to find the direct route to the goods collection point.

I really should have thought about this. Anyone who has visited an IKEA store is familiar with it's maze like layout and the fact that, once you enter the store, you have committed yourself to a soul destroying traipse around this plasticky retail labyrinth.** 

Apparently they have developed this retail concept further and now apply it to the layout of their carparks too.

Anyway, back to the narrative, the click 'n collect process worked well and a nice chap was soon placing the racks in the back of the Defender. That was when I made a bad decision ... 30% suggested that I pop in to the store and have a look at the houseplants and perhaps see if they have a nice Edison squirrel cage type light bulb for my lap project. I did this and instantly regretted my decision. 

I wasn't in there that long, but it was just so grim; a maze of identical, cheaply produced stuff that you buy to make your house look exactly like your neighbours.  Don't get me wrong; IKEA does have the occasional nugget. A little household gem that you really do need, but on the whole their product lines are unexceptional.

It really is the death of individuality.

Right! Rant over, in other news after a morning of retail hell, I managed to get the lawns at the front of the house mowed in the early afternoon and made some progress on my lamp project. The wooden base has now been sanded smooth and the first coat of Danish oil has been applied.

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* I forgot to mention my scabby gardening boots in Wednesday's Journal entry. Mind you, boots are definitely not shoes.

** I swear we bumped in to Theseus the last time we visited and I'm sure some of the customers had a touch of the minotaur in their genetics too.