Thursday, 28 November 2024

Health alert

 My vitamin P and H* levels have plummeted to dangerously low levels and I am concerned that I may need to seek treatment at a secular medical centre.

Alternatively, a pigs in blanket suppository might work if administered by a suitably qualified practitioner. 

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* methylated protein chains found predominantly in pork products. A good source of vitamin P is a pork pie and bacon is a rich source of vitamin H.

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