The Dog Whisperer?

Friday turned out to be a very lazy day.

After a very leisurely start to the day, the only thing I achieved in the morning was to pick up a prescription from a local chemist.  

On the way to pick up the drugs, I decided to pop in to see Pete the Beekeeper.  I wanted to order a 30lb bucket of honey as my supplies are running short.* I also wanted to pay him for the two queens that he supplied back in the late summer of 2024. 

I actually bumped in to Pete about half a mile down the lane, where the bridge crosses the little stream.  He has an apiary there and was performing a late season check. I managed to order a bucket of honey but totally failed to get him to accept any money for either the honey or the queens. His reluctance to work out how much I owe him for the queens is getting ridiculous. I must have attempted to pay him half a dozen times, and he keeps declining payment "until he works out how much I owe him."

Anyway, on to this afternoon ... we walked the dogs down the lane and then I returned to cleaning the Enfield in the garage. The peeling vinyl stickers were removed from the tank and it was given a good polish. I also settled to cleaning the front wheel spokes. I didn't get very far before I decided to head indoors, light a fire and warm my bones.

And now to the title of today's Journal entry. 

Since Traitorous Bastard has come to live with us he has shown a rather annoying personality trait. At the sight of any animal on the television,** he lunges towards the set barking. He gets so excited that he actually headbutts the screen and has come close to knocking it off its stand.

None of our other dogs do this. Dog #4 aka The Rat does enjoy a wildlife programme, but she simply settles in the chair and enjoys the show. Whiffler and Hobson show no interest in the television at all. It is just TB that thinks we are being invaded by strange beasts.

So, for the past few days, I have been attempting to dissuade him from this behaviour by putting him outside the room, and shutting the door, each time he does this.  He is only left in the hall for a couple of minutes, before he is let back in.

He seems to have caught on very quickly. If he starts to lunge at the TV, we call him and point to the lounge door. He stops, returns to 30%, and reluctantly sits.

Neither of us can believe how quickly he has caught on, and we are wondering whether it a fluke? The cynic in me thinks we need to continue with this training approach for a while longer.

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* I harvested about 140 lb at the end of May this year, and I am down to my last 30lb bucket. Sales have been, and continue to be, very good.

** You would be amazed how many advertisements have dogs and cats in them.

There is hope

The day has finally arrived for my appointment with an NHS Cornea Specialist.

I have had a problem with recurring corneal abrasions for many years. This problem stems from a number of minor eye injuries. These range from TP poking his finger in my eye, when he was a toddler, to Marauder scratching my eye with one of her whiskers; when I was playing with her many years ago.  I also picked up another scratch trimming Mrs Tweedy's bush, but I shudder at any mention of that!

These injuries have taken their toll. A few times a year I will suffer a corneal abrasion that is very painful, and can take a week or two to heal. My dry eye condition does not help, in fact it exacerbates the problem. Over night the surface of my eye will dry out and the lid will partially adhere to the cornea. When I open my eyes in morning the lifting of the lid removes an area of my cornea and I have another corneal abrasion.

I use a greasy ointment at night to control this. It works well, but it is like trying to see through a film of petroleum jelly once it has been applied. 

I have waited a long time for this appointment following a referral from CHEC at the beginning of the year. I walked in to the clinic hopefully that I would finally get a treatment that would actually work, rather than the CHEC approach, which always seems to be a combination of formulaic, ineffective and generally disinterested.

The pessimist in me kept bringing up the niggling thought that I was stuck with painful, sore, itchy eyes for the remainder of my years.

The Specialist at the clinic was a delight. She listened carefully to my history, and was thorough in her examinations and questions. She advised that I had been managing my eye conditions appropriately, but there were other, and additional, treatment options that are available to me. It is very much a case of trying the various options to see which ones work best.*

I left with a prescription for some new treatments, a follow-up appointment in four months time and clarification that I should not be purchasing Hycosan Night. In future it is to be provided, without charge, on prescription.

I left the consultation feeling quite positive, after three years of handling a quite miserable condition.

I also submitted my tax return this afternoon, and can report that I am due a healthy tax rebate for the year 2024/25.  I really do not know why I put off doing the damned thing. It is never as complicated as I expect,** and, generally, takes less than a day to sort out.

I wish that my eye condition could be resolved as quickly!

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* One of them sounded horrific. Google Corneal Alcohol Delamination, it doesn't sound like fun!

** Even less so, now I have retired 

Busy, busy!

First job this morning was to take TB* in to Stratford to be groomed.

Hobson was not impressed that he was to be left at home and could be heard expressing his feelings as we drove off.  Just in case you weren't aware, the Grooming Salon decided that Hobson was not sufficiently well behaved, to be a model for their academy. It has been home haircuts for him ever since.

Anyway, bright and early we all got in to the car and headed over towards Stratford on Avon. As we reached the top of Red Hill the traffic was crawling, and didn't improve until we reached our destination. It was stop/start all the way, and every single traffic light was on red. A handful of road works had been thrown in to the mix, and the inward journey was a complete and utter bastard. A twenty minute drive took the best part of an hour!

We dropped TB off and headed out of town on the Bidford road. That wasn't much better.

The reason for the alternative route was that 30% wanted to check out an oak refectory table at a local auction house. It wasn't really open for viewing lots, but we persuaded the staff to allow is to take a peek.  The table was rather lovely, but it was a little on the narrow side. I think we just need to be patient and wait for the right one to turn up. It's not as though we don't have a decent dining table at the moment.**

That little trip out took up all of the morning. In the afternoon I finally made a start on completing my tax return for 2024/25.*** Accessing His Majesty's Customs and Revenue software was a breeze, but the pre-populated data wasn't quite right and I couldn't find a way to correct it. A twenty minute wait followed by text exchanges involving a chatbot, an artificial intelligence entity referring to itself as Philippa,**** and a real person called Sharon eventually got me sorted.

I made reasonable headway thereafter, and got a good way through the process. By the time I hit [SAVE], in order to go and collect TB, I had come to the conclusion that I could well be due for another tax rebate. If ever there was motivation to finish the job, that was it.

The trip in to collect TB was an absolute breeze. We were there and back in the same time as our inward journey this morning. I should mention that TB looked fantastic and had behaved beautifully, again.

I will just return to my tax return briefly. Clearly I need to get it completed, but yesterday we received a delivery of three new curtain poles and some new light fittings for the living room. As soon as I've done my tax return, I have one less reason to delay installing these fittings.

Perhaps I need to slow down the rate of progress on the Enfield?

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* TB aka Traitorous Bastard, Hobson's litter mate

** I should clarify that the picture of the dining table in the linked entry was taken at The Pile, our previous home,

*** It has only taken me 272 days to get around to starting it!

**** It might have been a real person, but the response time and actual responses seemed more like an AI. I suppose she might have been working from home and cooking something lovely for dinner at the same time? That might explain why my problem wasn't resolved by her?

Great Company

At some point last week 30% was loitering, virtually, in the realm of Facebook.  She noticed that Grandad Jack was on line, so she pinged him and invited him over for lunch. 

She also invited her ex-frolleague Jules, and TP was in residence too.

Basically we had a houseful today and we had a quite splendid day filled with chatter, social updates and good food.

Grandad Jack mentioned that his wife rather fancied dropping in too, so we may be hosting Jacqui next time.*

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* That'll be interesting, as Jacqui is the complete antithesis to Jack. He is witty, bawdy, relaxed, delightful company, and definitely worldly wise.  She is much more restrained and uptight. One wonders what he saw in her? Great legs, perhaps?

TP drops in

As the day length has reduced over the past few weeks, I have got used to being able to wake, drink coffee and start the day at a leisurely pace, before it is sufficiently light to put out my honey stall and release the chickens.

I therefore find it somewhat annoying that the switch to GMT has buggered up my relaxed start to the day. I now need to haul my backside from my bed and head straight out in to the garden to perform my early morning duties. This is not acceptable, and it will be another few weeks before I can have lazy mornings again.

This morning I returned to the garage and continued with the spruce up of the Enfield. I can now report that the rear wheel has been cleaned in its entirety, spokes and all. I haven't counted them, but I know that I have individually polished forty tarnished spokes back to something that looks presentable. I still have the front wheel to address. That's another forty spokes and some of those have started to rust. I'm really trying to put that off for a day or two.

In the early afternoon I sorted out the last of the holes that TB had dug in the lawn over the summer.  A neat section of turf has been inserted and the lawn in front of the ornamental greenhouse now looks slightly more presentable.

Later in the afternoon TP turned up for an overnight stay.* He had kindly delivered a rather nice leather Stressless reclining chair that 30% had found on Facebook marketplace. **

After catching up with each others' news we all headed out for a short walk across the field with the dogs. We had a lovely evening and 30% tried really hard to avoid interrogating him about his new girlfriend. 

Note: I did say, "30% tried," I didn't say "30% succeeded"

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* There has been a week long break in his shooting schedule, and he has spent the time catching up with friends and us. He even had a mini break with his new lady friend.

** It was being sold a few miles away from his home in North Cardiff, so the poor lad was persuaded to go over, check it out and buy it, if it was in good condition.  He did a great job and even managed to get them to reduce their price by thirty pounds ... It's a bargain!

What time is it?

I woke this morning totally confused by the clocks being put back last night.

My phone indicated that it was approaching quarter to six, but when I checked my watch it was close to seven o'clock.* It took a few moments for my brain to catch up with events, and I then adjusted my timepiece and started the day at a gentle pace.

30% appeared later in the morning and, after a while, presented me with her wristwatch, requesting that I adjust it for her.  She has had the watch since 2013, and has yet to learn how to adjust it. I attended to the task and noticed that it seemed to need to be reset by two hours, rather than the expected one.  I asked about this and was informed that she hadn't bothered resetting it since our trip to Egypt last November!

Right, on to today's accomplishments.

First task of the day was to extract the mower from the shed and tidy up the roadside verges and the small area of lawn around the garage.  The front lawn was ignored, as it really needed a few hours of sun to dry out the early morning dew.

I then spent the next few hours in the garage cleaning the Enfield. I must be making progress and I now seem to be considering attending to some of the minor mechanical issues that have arisen.** Shall I do them before I put it to bed for the winter, or leave them until next spring?

In the afternoon I put aside motorcycle maintenance and mowed the front lawn. On completion I decided that I was actually quite tired, so I had a short kip before lighting the fire and settling down on the sofa for the rest of the afternoon.

Here endeth Sunday's Journal entry.

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* I know its battery needs replacing, but gaining time isn't a normal symptom.

** The chain case seeps a little oil and the head gasket is leaky too.

The weather was better than expected

As has become the norm of recent weeks, I headed out to the garage this morning and continued with the clean up of my little Royal Enfield. 

The new battery was connected up and the electrics were tested. All seems to be working well, and the new battery is a sealed unit, so I will be able to use an Optimate charger to  keep it charged in future.

After lunch 30% and I headed up the lane with the dogs for a walk. The weather is blustery with sunny spells and, as we walked, I noticed that the grass was quite dry.  This prompted me to consider my plans for this afternoon.*

The lawns were definitely due for a cut, and I didn't think I would get a better conditions for mowing than today, so the mower was dragged from the shed.

A couple of hours were spent mowing the lawns at the back of the house, and it all looks rather tidy now. The neatly clipped sward. will also mean that my feet are less likely to get soaked on my early morning walks up to the chicken coop. 

I will finish today's Journal entry with one more poultry related comment. The clocks go back one hour tonight and we will move from British Summer Time to Greenwich Mean Time. As the days have shortened the chickens have slowly stopped laying and their egg production is now intermittent, at best. It won't be long until we have to resort to tasteless commercial eggs to keep us going through until next spring.

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* Should I mention that the hedges really need cutting and I have yet to submit my tax return.

That's just the job

The autumn leaves are starting to fall, and within a few weeks the Ash tree by the gate will have covered the drive and front lawn with leaves.

Last year, for the first time, I collected up the fallen leaves to make leaf mould. We had three large wooden crates* and I lined them with chicken wire, before relocating them to the orchard, behind Rose Cottage.  

Last year's leaves were deposited in the crates and I can report that they are breaking down nicely. My expectation is that we will have a decent quantity of leaf mould by next spring.

I had another of these crates,** so, this morning, I spent a happy hour lining it with some left over plastic mesh. The crate has been moved up to the orchard and I am ready for this autumn's sweep up.

In the afternoon I returned to the garage and spent a happy few hours underneath the Enfield. I can also report that its new battery arrived this morning, and is now sat on the bench connected to a charger.

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*The stone tiles laid in the kitchen and utility room were delivered in them.

** It has been annoyingly abandoned up the side of the garage. It is sufficiently out of sight to avoid being referred to as an eye sore, but an irritating obstacle when I mow the small area of lawn by the garage.

A Break

A couple of orders have come in for batches of honey. An ex-colleague of 30% reached out and requested half a dozen jars, and another acquaintance requested four jars, two of which were set.

With the dishwasher out-of-order I had delayed fulfilling these orders, until I had proper washing facilities for jars and jugs and bowls and honey buckets and god knows what other paraphernalia is needed to bottle honey.

We now have a working dishwasher, so I stepped away from motorcycle cleaning and settled to bottling a couple of batches of honey. This job extended over most of the day, but in the intervals, when the honey was melting, I did find twenty minutes to fit the replacement rear indicator to the Enfield.

In other news, a chap turned up to repair the scratch that had appeared on the rear door of 30%'s car. Fortunately it could be polished out, as the original colour would be challenging to match.*

Today's worrying news was that Whiffler managed to knock the Sky remote control in to a full cup of black coffee. He demonstrated some skill, as the cup remained upright with the remote poking out of the top. As I type this, the remote is sat in a sealed plastic bag with a large quantity of moisture absorbing crystals. I have also learnt that the Sky Go app has provided me with basis remote control functionality from my phone ... phew!

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* It is a very unusual metallic brown that changes as the light falls across it, showing flecks of gold and red. When the car is clean and the sun is shining on it it looks amazing.

Bees, bikes, Tai Chi and the dishwasher ... If You think you can come up with a more concise title

My daily metal polishing activities are playing hell with my hands, and a manicurist* would blanch at the sight of them. Fortunately the absence of a working dishwasher has meant that long sessions with my hands in a washing up bowl, has worked wonders in ridding my cuticles of nasty ingrained grime.

This fortuitous set of circumstances has now come to an end. New dishwasher #2 was delivered and installed yesterday, and Nathan turned up this morning to reassemble the kitchen units. We now have a fully operational kitchen and I now need to remember to wear rubber gloves to keep my fingers from getting very manky indeed.

Today's weather seemed likely to be the most clement this week,** so I gathered my beekeeping paraphernalia and headed up to the hives. It was encouraging to see that a few bees were flying, so a brief opening of each hive should not impact the colonies adversely.  

The reason for the brief inspection was to remove the Apistan strips that were inserted about eight weeks ago.  "Inspection" is actually be a bit of an exaggeration, as I simply pried off the crown board, carefully extracted the Apistan strips and quickly shut up the hives again.  I won't actually look through the brood frames again until the weather warms in the spring.

For the next few months the bees will be left well alone. A further varroa treatment will be given in early January, *** and I may place a pack of candy**** over the aperture in the crown board, if I feel that the colony is running short of stores.

In the afternoon I returned to the garage and continued my cleaning of the Enfield. It looks much more presentable, but there is still a way to go. I keep looking at the spokes and thinking, "those are going to take an age to get anywhere near clean." I also found that its battery has died, so a replacement will need to be ordered before it gets tucked away. Earlier in the week, I noticed that one of the rear indicator stems had been broken, so a good while was spent on the internet tracking down an identical replacement.*****

The early evening saw me at my weekly Tai Chi class and, again, it was very enjoyable, although I find the little meditation session at the end of the class somewhat challenging ... I find that my mind does tend to wander a little.

I can also report that Pinky is still with us. There has been a slight improvement and her condition seems to have stabilised. She is not out of the woods yet, but at least her condition hasn't worsened.

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* They, apparently, now refer to themselves as  Nail Techs ... wtf! 

** A storm is heading in over the next few days

*** Oxalic acid vapour

**** Image a kilo pack of something akin to soft Royal Icing. A hole is cut in the pack and it is placed over one of the holes in the crown board. If they are hungry, the bees will come up and eat their way through the pack.

***** I could have gone to the original Trials kit supplier, but they are far from cheap. I actually managed to find the exact indicator for less than half the price.

A shock

 Once again I took up residency in the garage and have been mostly occupied with cleaning the Royal Enfield Trials special. 

It is going to take a good few days to polish up the tarnished metal work, so I am just going to have to suck it up, and put my nose to the proverbial grindstone. I realise that it is going to make my Journal entries somewhat samey, but it could be worse; I could be documenting my working life prior to retirement.

Also, remember, there may be an interlude, but I'll need to do the same for the Honda, when it is eventually discharged from the workshop.

So that was how I spent Tuesday. The fingers of my right hand are aching from hours of polishing and my finger tips are stained black from a mixture of metal polish and aluminium oxide.

We did have some unsettling news today.

Over the weekend 30%'s old friend, Pinky contacted her to advise that she had ended up in hospital with a suspected twisted bowel.  It seems that an operation to correct the problem has not been successful, and a second surgery was required. Further complications have followed and she is now in intensive care with a pessimistic prognosis.*

30% is, understandably, unsettled by this, and headed off to support Pinky's mother this evening. The poor woman is well in to her eighties and has no family living locally to provide support. 

We are both afraid that this is a case of hoping for the best, whilst preparing for the worst.

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* 30% was alerted to Pinky's deterioration by Pinky's ex-husband

Bagged up

 Sunday's big news, which  I totally forgot to mention, was that we had our first fire of the autumn.  I had brought in a load of logs a few days previously, along with some kindling.  Sunday was grey and gloomy and we were having a lazy day, so I did the decent thing and added a little warmth to our afternoon.

The effect on the dogs was amazing. Dog #4 aka The Rat appeared from upstairs and immediately settled on the sofa at the end nearest the log burner. Whiffler took the other end and Hobson took up a place in the large dog bed, affectionately known as The Paddling Pool. We were unsure whether TB had any experience of a real fire in his previous home, and how he would react. His approach was to sprawl on the rug at a sensible distance, soaking up the warmth.

Now on to today.

First call of the morning was a visit to the local surgery for an appointment with a physiotherapist, to get some advice and guidance about my knee.* The session was reasonably informative, but I wasn't particularly taken with the therapist. He seemed to be in a rush and to want to get me out of the door as quickly as possible. I now have a set of exercises that I need to follow and to report back to him in a month or so, if there is no improvement.**

Back at home, I begged some assistance from 30%, and got the BMW and Guzzi tucked away on their vac bags for the winter.***  I am well aware how much condensation collected on the bikes last winter, so I not only used the provided moisture absorbing granules, but also added a disposable dehumidification device in each vac bag too.

Each of the bikes are now sat enclosed in a large, heavy duty bags, hopefully dry and dust free. They'll remain there for the next five or six months, until the weather warms again.

I then turned to the Enfield. It has sat ignored in the garage for far too long, and has suffered from this lack of attention. Rust is appearing on the steel work and the acres of polished chrome and aluminium are now dusty and tarnished. I made a start with the Autosol metal polish. It is going to take a fair amount of time, but the handlebars look much better already.

I just need to settle down and apply myself to the task.

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* it has, fortunately, finally started to improve.

** He was such a charmer, I think I'll try to avoid that encounter

** Phil The Postie delivered them this morning.

Will I keep to my word?

 I finally finished preparing the BMW and the Guzzi for their winter hibernation. They have been washed and polished and will be popped in to vac bags at some point in the next few days.

I am certain that a diligent inspection would find a smear of road grime here or there,* but I'm satisfied that they are clean enough.

I also made a tentative start on the Royal Enfield. I am embarrassed to say that she has been neglected since we moved here at the beginning of 2021, and her chrome and alloy is looking rather tarnished. My plan is to get her cleaned up and polished and then put her under cover for the winter. In the spring I propose to get her out, give her a service and attempt to get her running. I know TP would be pleased if I do. For some strange reason he has a strong affection for this primitive and crude machine.**

She should run, but there is a strong possibility that her carburettors will need to be cleaned, and a new battery attached.

As I said. "that can wait until the spring."

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* The underside of the mudguards is a case in point.

** I'm rather fond of it's eccentricities too.

Two in one ...

 ... or, perhaps, a case of rinse and repeat.

Friday and Saturday have both been very similar. Most of my time has been spent in the garage polishing motorcycles, with a break in the afternoon to walk the dogs across the fields.

One might wonder how it is possible to spend so much time cleaning bikes, particularly if you have never owned one, or see them as an instrument of the devil.*

So here we go; They are incredibly intricate pieces of machinery. Almost every component is one show. Nothing is concealed behind panels as it is on a car.** All of these intricate mechanicals seem to be a magnet for dirt and it takes an age to clean each and every crevice and groove. I am also a bit of a completer/finisher, so, once I've started, I do tend to keep going until I real the shiny end.

There is also the safety element. Giving a bike a damned good clean means that each and every external component is given a visual inspection. It is an opportunity to identify loose, damaged or missing components, and rectify, before a mishap occurs.

The other thing is that I am retired and can afford to take a week or so to get my little collection looking as good as possible.

So, there you have it. I've been bike cleaning, dog walking, and I did give Michelle a hand to set up a VPN on her phone and tablet on Saturday morning.

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* I'm not joking. I have encountered people that are absolutely appalled and literally terrified of them. They have been raised with a mindset that to sit on one will lead to imminent injury or death, and that they should be banned. I've ridden them for over forty years and have fallen off on a few occasions, mostly when riding off-road. I love them, but am well aware that I am incredibly vulnerable when riding them. Safe riding, good observation and keeping within one's limits are key survival skills.

** I accept that faired sports bikes do have panels, but they don't enclose the mechanicals in the same way as car bodywork. You still need to remove them and clean behind them.

In the zone

 Today's entry will not be lengthy.  I was busy for most of the day,* but my focus was on cleaning the bikes, and I can't make an interesting paragraph out of that. 

I have just about finished cleaning the BMW. I still need to give the front forks a wipe over, but I'm still waiting for the GT85 to be delivered.** I have, therefore, moved on to the Moto Guzzi, and can report that the front half is looking rather splendid. I am still uncertain how to clean up the brushed aluminium mudguards and other trim, but I'm sure I'll think of something.

I also gave the mudguard of the Enfield a tentative polish. The poor thing has been neglected for far too long and she will take a lot of work to get her looking sparkly again. 

I also ordered a couple of vac bags to, hopefully, keep the bikes dry and dust free over the winter.

I told you the aforementioned paragraphs were likely to be boring.

So that's it for Thursday. Friday will be just the same.

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* I was home alone, as 30% had gone in to Birmingham with the coven to see a performance of Moulin Rouge.

** I've never used it before, but, unsurprisingly, the manufacturers claim miraculous results for a wide variety of uses. Watch this space.

So what exactly does your guarantee cover?

 Matt, our kitchen fitter, arrived early this morning and spent a good couple of hours extracting and testing the new dishwasher. It still failed to operate, so 30% attempted to get support from the manufacturer.  The manufacturer advised that they were more than happy to book an Engineer in for a support visit, but advised that their engineer would not be able to dismantle or re-assemble the kitchen.

Let's just have a think about that. Neff are quite happy to sell an integrated dishwasher, and, allegedly, provide guarantees and warranty the device.  Now let's look at the term integrated". In this context it refers to a device that is built in to fitted kitchen. It is most definitely not stand-alone.  The dishwasher needs to be incorporated in to the kitchen so that it can be connected to water supply and waste pipes before you can use it.

How on earth can Neff dispatch an engineer to deal with a problem on an integrated dishwasher, if the aforementioned engineer is not able to extract the device, resolve the issue, and then return the kitchen to it's original state. It sounds to me like a) their warranty isn't worth anything, and b) they really don't give a shit about their customers.

In the end 30% contacted the retailer; John Lewis. John Lewis were far more helpful, and quite appalled at the response from Neff.  They advised that they would supply a brand new device and install it for a significantly reduced fee ... They are booked in for next Tuesday.

Whilst all of this was going on, I headed out to the garage and continued with my vacuuming and floor tile laying. I can now report that a 20' by 10' rectangle of flooring has been laid out and I can finally go back to polishing my bikes.

We managed a walk across the fields with the dogs in the late afternoon, before I headed off for a Tai Chi class. I really don't know what has got in to Kung Po Fran,* but it was one hell of a workout! Normally I come away from a Tai Chi class with a calm and relaxed aura. This evening I came home thinking, "This is gonna ache later!"

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* The class teacher

It was all going so well

Yesterday I mentioned my notion to insulate the garage floor with interlocking foam floor tiles.

This morning I made a start. The garage is mostly devoted to the storage of my bikes and the ride on lawn mower. Most of these items can be wheeled out of the way as I lay the tiles. but there is a small carpenters bench sat in the front corner of the garage.* It doesn't really belong in the garage, I just never got around to giving it a light refurb and finding a proper home for it.

This morning I manoeuvred it in to the carport and gave the top of it a good clean and a coat of wax polish. I paid particular attention to the wooden threads of the two vices that are built in to the structure of the bench. One of them was quite difficult to operate, and I hoped that a good clean followed by a coat of wax would improve matters.

I am happy to report that the bench vices are now operational and it has found a new home in the corner of the workshop. At some point I will need to knock up a pair of doors for the cabinet.

With the garage now clear of non-essential items I was able to make a start on laying the tiles. Section by section I have vacuumed up the dust, and laid the tiles. I have no idea how resilient they will be, but it is certainly much more comfortable to stand on, and it looks very smart.**

We also had our favourite kitchen and bathroom fitters in residence today. They had been booked to fit the new dishwasher. The job took much longer than they expected, as much dismantling was needed to get the new unit in place. Early this evening we topped up the salt and rinse aid and started the inaugural wash.

The effing thing flashed up an error code and refuses to operate.  Calls to Neff and the fitter followed and the fitter will be back in the morning to check that the pipework hasn't been badly routed. An engineer visit is likely to follow if that doesn't sort it out.

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* I swapped a bottle of Irish Whiskey for it a couple of years ago from this chap.

** I think I will need to be very conscientious about using side stand pucks to prevent it being damaged.

Making myself comfortable

The motorcycle cleaning continues, and today the BMW was turned around to improve the illumination on the side yet to be polished.

At this point I will head off an a slight tangent. I'm sure it will all make sense in due course.  A few years ago The Neat & Today Piano Movers* provided me with a reasonably generous voucher for a nationwide auto accessories store.  The store didn't have anything I particularly needed, but whilst wandering around their store I noticed that they sold foam floor tiles. Having spent many hours lay on the floor cleaning the lower parts of a motorcycle, I saw the benefit of an insulated, slightly cushioned floor covering. The garage was measured and ten packs of floor tiles were purchased, and they have sat on a shelf ever since ... until couple of days ago.

I wasn't particularly enthused about sitting on a cold hard floor, so I grabbed one of the tiles to insulate and cushion my tender arse. It was a revelation. I was warm. It was relatively comfortable and it made cleaning the bike a much more pleasant task.

As I continued cleaning, I wondered why I hadn't laid down the tiles, and thought it might be a good idea. I had also thought of purchasing some motorcycle vacuum storage bags for use over the winter.** I had the vain hope that an insulated floor might warm the garage somewhat, and the slightly more realistic notion that foam floor tiling would make it less likely that the vac bags would be abraded or punctured by the concrete floor.

I suppose I had better get the bikes cleaned first, before I start stuffing them in to enormous polythene bags!

In other news, I heard from BMW Motorrad. Apparently the threaded hole, noticed at the weekend, is normal, and a vital component hasn't rattled loose ... phew! We also dealt with some recent correspondence from our Financial Advisor and I reminded myself that I really must submit my tax return.

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* my penultimate employer

** The garage does suffer from condensation the cold weather, and vac bags are brilliant for keeping a bike dry.  They are a complete and utter faff to use, and there is no way that one would take the bike out for a ride on a dry winter day. It is a case of tuck the bike away in autumn, and leave it there until the spring.

Should I be worried?

Sunday was another day featuring motorcycle polishing. I think you'll need to get used to reports of this activity, as it is likely to continue for many days, if not weeks. I want to put my bikes be as clean as possible when they are put to bed for the winter. It is then a delight to uncover a pristine machine on the first sunny day of spring.

While cleaning the BMW I noticed a threaded hole at the lower end of the rear shock absorber mount. The hole was surprisingly clean considering its location. I would have expected any hole so close to the road and the rear wheel to be quite dirty, even after cleaning. I was suspicious that some vital component had rattled loose, so I took a couple of photos and fired off a technical support enquiry email to the local BMW dealership. I really don't fancy riding a bike without some reassurance that it is complete and safe.  I hope they answer promptly.

In the afternoon we headed out across the fields for a short walk with the dogs. My knee finally seems to be improving. The pain is reduced and my sleep is less disturbed. At this rate I could be doing a circuit of the Three Miler before too long.

I also got around to putting the mouse guards on the hives this afternoon.  The bees have been so active in the recent mild weather that I was reluctant to impede their access to the hives. However, I am aware that mice will be seeking out prime nesting sites as the weather cools, and I don't want the little sods to set up home in any of my hives.

I can report that the lawns are now looking almost presentable after the long dry summer. However, there are a couple of holes where TB has decided to investigate an interesting smell beneath the turf. Now the lawns have greened up these holes stick out like the proverbial sore thumb, and it is time to attend to them while the grass is still growing.

I neatened up one of the holes with a spade to make a rectangular hole about three inches deep. I then watered the hole and wandered off to dig an identical shaped piece of turf from an overgrown area of one of the borders.  The new piece of turf was trod in to the hole and watered liberally. All being well, it should be indistinguishable from the rest of the lawn within a week, or so.

A booking

The motorcycle polishing continued on Saturday morning. Well, it did until just before eleven o'clock when I was chauffeured in to the village to join Bob & Jo for morning coffee.

It seems that Bob and Jo organise a monthly get together for village retirees in the Parish Education Centre.* Each month a guest speaker gives an informative talk or presentation, and tea and cake is consumed. They outlined the subjects of recent talks, and I must admit that I was tempted to join.

Now why had I been invited to coffee with Bob and Jo? About seven years ago I was asked to deliver a presentation on bees and beekeeping to the local Women's Institute.  It was a one-off request and I have never done one since.

However ... there is always a "however" ...  Mummy Sheila was at the original WI presentation and found it really interesting. She is also a member of Bob and Jo's monthly group, and happened to mention my beekeeping talk as a suitable subject for one of their meetings. 

To cut a long story somewhat shorter, I have been booked for April next year to give a repeat performance.

As for the rest of the day, I finished mowing the lawns,**and we were joined by Mr & Mrs Tweedy*** for dinner this evening. It seems that 30% had invited her parents over to see a performance by a local male voice choir. I sensibly declined an offer to join them, and was only required to provide a taxi service at each end of the evening.

As for today's auction lots, they were lovely, but the price was a little too high for us, especially when the commission is added in.  We are after an oak refectory table, and are certain another will come along eventually.

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* A rather pleasant facility adjacent to the church. I attend a weekly Tai Chi class there too.

** except for around the garage and the verges at the front

*** My in-laws, who bear an amazing similarity to Mr & Mrs Tweedy in Aardman animations Chicken Run film.

Quite a busy day

This morning I made a start on polishing the R1250R.

I say "made a start," as I soon found out how many components are now made of plastics rather than steel or aluminium. The surfaces also range from gloss paintwork to matt and satin black, hence a variety of alternative cleaning products will need to be added to those already in the garage.

At this point I have to say that I am delighted with the performance of my motorcycle air dryer. Previously* the bikes would have been left with annoying watermarks that needed to be polished away. The dryer has left the gloss surfaces beautifully mark free, and a delight to shine up with a coat of Autoglym super resin polish.

At lunchtime I popped up to the surgery to have a consultation with the GP about my knee. It has been a month since I injured it and any improvement has been slow.  The GP has booked me in for some physiotherapy and indicated that it may well take a while to recover. He has also indicated that a scan may be needed if there is no significant improvement after physio.

In the afternoon 30% and I headed over to Weston Subedge to get a quote for a pair of hardwood gates, posts and fittings. After much faffing around with suppliers of aluminium gates, we have decided that good old timber is going to be far more straightforward to install, and will definitely be in keeping with the style of the property.

On our way home we took a detour and popped in to Littleton Auctions to take a look at a couple of lots. One of these was a rather nice oak refectory table, and we are likely to be bidding on-line tomorrow.

After a short snooze on the sofa, I dragged the lawn mower from the shed and got the back lawn mowed before deciding that that was quite enough for Friday.

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* I would have left them to air dry, or given them an half-arsed wipe over with a damp chamois leather.  The hot air dryer is fantastic, as it pushes virtually every drop of water from all the nooks and crannies around the engine and bodywork.

I was going to mow the lawn

My plan for today was to mow the lawns.

Obviously I wouldn't be able to start until the grass had dried off a little, so I needed something to occupy my morning.

I have been wanting to clean my bikes for an age, but I know that, once I start, it will occupy me for several days. Despite being retired, it surprises me how challenging it can be to find time for those time consuming projects.

Anyway, I had all morning to myself, as 30% was away to a Coven coffee morning, so I unwound the hose and made a start on the R1250R.  As I became more and more involved in washing my bike, I became less and less keen on mowing the lawns.

To cut a long story short. I got the BMW washed and dried off with my new motorcycle dryer, and then did the same again to the Moto Guzzi Stornello.

I now have two grime free bikes and the next step will be to give them a damned good polish.*

As for the lawns ... they can wait.

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* That'll take a good few days.

Post Script: 

My day wasn't as stress free as one might assume. Half way through cleaning the BMW I heard the dogs barking at the gate. I wandered over to see what the fuss was about and saw a woman videoing the dogs. I jokingly said "no photos please," and ended up on the receiving end of a full blown Karen style rant about how dangerous TB was.

There was no way that I was prepared to be bullied and threatened by a complete stranger whilst stood on my own property, so I politely, but bloody firmly, pointed out that the dog was on my own property and was not harming her in anyway.

She then attempted to imply that I should have the dogs locked up as she had been attacked by a German Shepherd when she was a girl, and my dogs were scaring her.

She then wandered off down the road threatening to report me to the dog warden.

I returned to my bike cleaning and was quite upset by the incident.  About fifteen minutes later I saw her coming back up the lane. I was absolutely prepared for another argument, but she had come back in an attempt to make peace.

I said that I was sorry that she had had a bad experience with a dog, but that was nothing to do with me or TB. I also asked her to consider how she would feel if I had turned up at her house, started taking photos, and then tell her how she should behave there.

She took this well, and after explaining that TB was a rescue, and actually a very friendly dog, she asked if she might meet him. I went and called him from the house and put him on a lead. A successful introduction followed and she now feels able to walk past the house with less concern.

I am pleased that this was an amicable resolution, but she can fuck off and find another walk if she shouts and threatens me because of her fucking insecurities!

How Many!

When we visited the Malvern Autumn Show last month, one of our objectives was to purchase a quantity of daffodil bulbs to plant up in the orchard.

We didn't want anything fancy, as the orchard sward is far from manicured. We just wanted some bog standard daffodil bulbs to dot about and provide a bit of early spring colour next year.

30% advised that there were large bags of bulbs on sale at the local Nursery, so it was agreed that we would get them from there, rather than lug them around the Three Counties Show Ground.

About a week ago my dear wife turned up with the aforementioned bulbs and I noticed, not one, but two huge nets of daffodil bulbs. The labels didn't state the quantity, but my guess was that each bag held close to one hundred bulbs.  For the mathematically challenged, this meant that I needed to plant close to two hundred bulbs.

I do have a bulb planter. It looks like an over-sized apple corer, and is supposed to remove a plug of soil, so the bulb can be inserted to a depth of about five inches. The plug is then replaced ... job done. I did try it in the still dry orchard turf and rapidly decided that I would be suffering from a repetitive strain injury of some description if I used the bulb planter.  I can report that my next action was to hide it in the dark recesses of the potting shed, hopefully never to be found again.

My revised plan was to use a spade to cut around three edges of a small turf, around 1' square. I would then slide the spade under the turf to separate it from the ground. It could then be peeled back. I would be left with a patch of bare earth to plant four or five daffodil bulbs. The flap of earth could then be put back in place and gently firmed in with my boot.

So, for the past couple of days I have been using this method to plant the daffodil bulbs up in the orchard. Thirty five flaps of turf were peeled back, and approximately one hundred and sixty bulbs have been gently inserted in to Mother Earth.

After all of that effort, they had better look bloody amazing in the spring!

In other news, Grubby Jason and his crew turned up on Tuesday morning to kindly repair and repoint the brick edging of our patio.  The hot dry summer had caused the soil under the lawn to shrink back and this had disturbed the edging. I was pleasantly surprised that he was willing to sort out this problem, as most companies would have said, "what do you expect, it's been caused by the weather, not our workmanship." 

I can also report that the dishwasher has died and a new one has been ordered.

Never ever do a good deed

30% had invited Dot 'n Dave over for lunch today.

As we were tidying the house, I finished a miscellaneous job and asked what I could do next. 30% mentioned that there were a couple of prescriptions that needed to be collected from the village surgery, and I accepted this side mission.

In the time to had taken me to change in to a clean pair of jeans, this trip to the local surgery had suddenly morphed into also filling a large bucket with mulched hedge clippings, and taking it, along with half a dozen eggs, to Mummy Sheila.

I filled a builders bucket with mulch, grabbed the eggs, loaded both in to the back of 30%'s car and headed down in to the village. The prescriptions were collected and, a few minutes later, I pulled up outside Mummy Sheila's house.

Imagine my surprise and delight when I opened the car's hatchback and discovered that the bucket had overturned and a several litres of mulch were now liberally scattered around the boot.

I muttered several expletives under my breath, scooped as much mulch as possible back in to the bucket and dumped it and the eggs outside Sheila's back door.

Back at home I spent a good while vacuuming the back of the car, and can now report it relatively free of mulch. 30% came out whilst I was vacuuming and asked if the bucket had overturned.* You will be amazed at the self-control I exhibited by answering with a simple, "yes."

So there you have it. How offering to pop down to the local surgery turned in to a free mulch delivery and car cleaning service. If you are going to do a good deed, make sure you know the full extent of the deed before offering.

Lunch with Dot 'n Dave was great fun. They are both about to head off to Tunisia for a holiday and they were on good form.  This was positive as Dave has recently made the very difficult decision to give up motorcycling.** I absolutely understand how he feels as I am aware, at the age of sixty one, that I probably have little more than a decade of riding left.

It may seem a little cynical but I did express an interest in his 50th anniversary VFR 800. Apparently the original owner had already asked for first refusal if Dave ever sold it, so it remains to be seen whether another Honda will be joining the CBR in the garage.

That was about it for Monday, although I will report that I spent a good while persuading our dishwasher to wash dishes. That does not bode well.

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* She does have a knack of asking redundant questions.

** He is nearly 80.

Does this look like a Tesco Store?

 30% headed out for a wicker weaving course this morning, leaving me home alone.

My reserve of bottled honey was running low, so I spent most of my day processing a couple of batches to keep my little road-side stall supplied.

Let's just ponder on that last sentence, particularly the words "road-side stall." What do those three little words conjure up in your mind?  A large out of town supermarket, with a huge car park, and associated petrol station and cafeteria?  No, road-side stall doesn't suggest that to me either. 

Let's ensure we are all on the same page. My road-side stall is a little wooden stand. It is about 2' high and has a flat surface about 18" by 12". On it is placed a clear, lidded, plastic box. The box usually contains four jars of honey plus an empty jar that has two pound coins in it ... change. There is also a little slate sign that indicates the product and the price.

It's very much a serve yourself, honesty box sort of arrangement. It is not part of a multinational grocery conglomerate that will cater for most of your nutritional needs.

So why on earth does it seem to attract a regular stream of people who ask whether I accept Apple Pay, or have a QR code that they can scan to pay so that they can "do contactless."?  My honey is four quid a jar and I even leave a couple of quid in the box so people only need to bring along a fiver or a tenner to make their purchase.

Today I had a chap turn up in a van and he was quite insistent that I allowed him to buy honey and pay without using cash.  I pointed out that it was cash only, and he responded by listing a list of alternative cashless payment methods. He then went on to ask if I offered a discount if he bought three jars.

I politely pointed out that I didn't offer a discount as my supply was limited, and that demand for my honey often exceeded what my three hives could produce. I eventually conceded to accept payment by Paypal, and gave him my email address. 

He decided to purchase a couple of jars for his mum, paid and showed me his phone screen to demonstrate that the payment had been made.

I wandered inside and my phone alerted me to an incoming email. It was Paypal informing me that the £8 had been received and that they had deducted 53p for using their electronic payment facility.

And people wonder why I only accept cash!

Chilly!

The wettest parts of storm Amy seem to have blown across the midlands during the night, and Saturday was dry, but chilly and very windy.

This morning I headed over to the Cotswold Shooting Ground for a morning of clay shooting with Bubbles and Ben.  The wind made even the simplest targets tricky and I finished up with a score of 41/80. I could crow that I had beaten Bubbles on this occasion, but he was shooting his side by side. If he had been using his over and under he would have wiped the floor with me.

The afternoon included a trip up to the local GP's Practice for our flu jabs. This was very efficient, and we spent more time chatting to an acquaintance outside, than we did registering and baring our arms for the injection.

We then headed over to Mummy Sheila's for a chat and a coffee, before heading home via the Nursery, where we picked up a bag of seed compost.*

Although Saturday was dry, the weather never warmed and we both decided that it was definitely and indoors sort of day. We read, we snoozed, and hoped for better weather tomorrow.

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* 30% has taken some Coleus cuttings. They have rooted in water, and now need to be potted up. The big question is; can she keep them alive through the winter?

Head in a book

Storm Amy was blowing in, and the day was wet and windy.

Both of us were disinclined to go out, unless it was absolutely necessary. As a result I spent most of the day with my head in a book, although I did drive over to Bromsgrove in the early afternoon.

This was a case of killing two birds with one stone, as I needed to pick up a couple of bags of layers pellets from the Feed Store and also needed to get my air rifle re-charged at a nearby gun shop.*

So that was it for Friday, head down in a book, but I am now able to take pot shots at vermin too!

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* When TP was house/dog sitting last weekend, he decided to shoot at a few targets up in the orchard. He was unaware that the air rifle has a pressure gauge, and continued shooting until he had emptied the rifle's cylinder.  He was also unaware that, once the rifle is totally empty, it is impossible to recharge it with the provided stirrup pump. It needs to be taken to a gun shop, where they recharge it from a 250 Bar cylinder!

Waving her off

I briefly mentioned the visitation from my in-laws in yesterday's Journal entry, but covered little else. If I am truly honest it was a very lazy day. We lunched with Mr & Mrs Tweedy and caught up with each others' news. After their departure, 30% and both retired for a monumental nap. I can report that I did manage to wake in time for my Tai Chi session .... but only just!

Today was a day of random little jobs.

At eight o'clock sharp my phone alerted me to the fact that my local motorcycle workshop was coming to collect my CBR 600 today. This came as a bit of a shock, as I was convinced that the bike was being picked up tomorrow.

I hadn't got a clue what time to expect them, so I whizzed outside and extracted the Honda from the garage. I left her sat on the drive, awaiting their arrival, while I carried on with my day.

As I've already mentioned, it was a day of random little jobs. I pumped up the 5 Series tyres, and then wandered in to the workshop where I used a hot air gun and rag to remove the wax and propolis deposits from my syrup feeders. These were given a final wash and left in the sun to dry.

Lunchtime came and went, and there was still no sign of Arden Motorcycles' van.  I gave them a call to ascertain their ETA, and it seems that their computerised reminder had disappeared in to the ether. This wasn't a problem, as my call jogged their memory and they headed straight over.

The CBR was wheeled in to the back of the van and I was left wondering how long it would be before I saw her again. I hope it's not too long. I hope the bill isn't too huge, and I hope the weather is decent when I go to collect her.

In the afternoon we walked the dogs across the fields and then tidied ourselves for the Italian Night at the Redditch Catering College Restaurant.  We had a lovely evening and some rather good food. As is usual, the portions were enormous and we really do need to scale back our consumption of the antipasto.

If ever proof were needed

Last year I made reference to The Black Cow of Doom, a sinister beast whose appearance foretells dread happenings.

Well, this morning I woke, dressed and wandered downstairs. The sun had risen and I made a start on my early morning chores. I picked up the honey box and wandered out to place it on my stall in the lane. As I walked out of the gate I heard a loud lowing from the field across the lane. I looked up and saw her silhouette against the horizon.

Oh my Christ, it was the Black Cow of Doom!

A shudder ran down my spine, as I suddenly remembered that 30% had arranged for Mr & Mrs Tweedy to  join us for lunch today.

If ever proof was needed that the most sinister of bovines foretold dread, this was it.  

My day was going brilliantly, then the BCoD appears and reminds me that my mother-in-law is coming for lunch. Suddenly my day is not going so well.

If you need further evidence, I checked on my Durham Early spring cabbage later in the day, and they are now growing beautifully.  Clearly the BCoD foretells the demise of caterpillars too.

Never underestimate the power of this beast.