The 29 hour Day

I woke moments before the alarm at Horrible o’clock or 5.30 am as it prefers to be called. 30% had stupidly offered to take me up to the airport momentarily forgetting that a 9 o’clock flight has a 7 o’clock check-in and then there is the 40 minute car journey too. It was very kind of her and nice to be seen off by her and TP rather than travel to Birmingham airport on my own.

As I type this I am 1629 miles short of New York and am just off the South West tip of Greenland.

Motive Power will be provided today by Messrs Rolls & Royce - shame they didn't build the cabin too!

The flight has been OK so far – just OK – initially I thought the Gods had smiled upon me as I had a row of three seats to myself but then I was joined at the last minute by a middle-aged Brummie and her aged Mum who were off for 3 weeks in Vegas via NY City. Ah well  - snug it is.

Lunch was served at a peculiar time  - 10 o’clock - and I was surprised that they gave me metal cutlery especially as they had allowed a number of parents with crying infants on board. Bloody good job 30% had reminded me to take some ear plugs as otherwise I would have been met by Police at Newark. I pity those poor buggers that were sat right next to them.

Oh well, I suppose I’d better use the Laptop for the real reason I booted it up ………

…………… where is that documentation I need to familiarise myself with.

The transfer from Newark to Boston went without a hitch although I was sandwiched between two travelers who had decided that oral hygiene was not for them. The only positive thing I can say about the arse-breath traveling companions was that a) they were of normal human proportions rather than US XXXXXL and that b) the flight was only an hour in duration.

I got in to my hotel about 4 o’clock EST and the 29 hour day was starting to hurt. I spoke briefly to 30% and TP and then unpacked …..

……. This is the point I learned an important lesson, in fact, two important lessons. The first is that I am a fuckwit and the second is that the travel power adapter I brought is for Europe rather than the United States – BOLLOCKS.

I am therefore tired and sat in a foreign land watching my communication devices slowly die before my very eyes – Bollocks, Bollocks and, one more time, Bollocks. In a fit of optimism I mosey down to the hotel shop thinking that many travelers must have made the same mistake. This, apparently, is not the case from the array of goods in the aforementioned retail outlet no one except me has ever brought an electrical appliance to the US but forgotten to pack their adapter.

The Concierge suggested that I try Radio Shack in Harvard Square in the morning but his demeanour suggested hope rather than absolute knowledge.

Packing

Most of Saturday morning was tied up with ironing and packing as I leave for Boston tomorrow morning. TP was spending the day with his Mum so 30% and had the day to ourselves which is unusual.

I’d got everything sorted by lunchtime so 30% and I had the afternoon free. We visited a local Pub and had a light lunch by the fire. It was rather good. The Pub was what I would call a Traditional Local. It hadn’t been tarted up or themed and the menu looked fantastic. We only had baguettes and a side of chips but the portions were generous and the quality great. We promised ourselves an evening visit in the near future to sample something more substantial.

In the afternoon we walked T&M – my last one for a week – and then had an early dinner as we were off to see the Armstrong and Miller show at Warwick Arts Centre.

The show was great, featuring many of the characters from the TV Series. I’d thoroughly recommend it if you can get tickets locally.

The show meant that we hit the sack around midnight which was not great in view of the early start that I had on Sunday.

Stuff I forget to mention .....

...... "Be careful what you wish for".

Now that is an interesting caution. I prefer the alternative; "May You live in interesting times", but both speak for themselves and don't really need an explanation.

Now I like to see someone's leg pulled and provided it is not too cruel or too uncomfortable I'm quite happy to see someone placed in a situation that puts them slightly off their "beaten track" so imagine my cruel delight when a colleague asked me for a lift to the meeting in Middlesex yesterday.

 "Of course" I replied "I'll pick you up at the Office at 8.45 and we can travel down together". I'm guessing that he was imagining cruising down the M40 in something falling between a family hatchback and a conserative saloon*. Imagine his surprise when I pulled up in the Defender and invited him to climb aboard.

To be fair he took it really well once he had got over the surprise and we had a pleasant and leisurely journey*** down but he did seem to stretch and creak a little after two hours in the cab. One wonders whether he was contemplating the return journey and the possibility of taking a train.

Today has been fortunately quiet as TP has developed an infection and consequently I needed to take him to the GP's this morning and also managed to squeeze him in at the Dentists later on. Fortunately Mr D thinks that the GP prescribed antibiotics will do the job so no needles were needed ........ SO FAR.

After a day off School TP felt well enough to take a trip to "The Local" for a Birthday Supper and we were joined by 30%'s much younger siblings and one of their partners. We had a lovely time and can finally give a report on the food at the Ugly Sister.**

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* Dante's does NOT have a generous Company Car Scheme.
** Mind you - it's likely to change hands again before I'm asked. Oh, yes, it was lovely!
*** For the uninitiated, this should read as "noisy and bouncy"

Getting them cornered

Thursday's News.

For the past few weeks I have been attempting to hand over a "project" to the teams that will take it forward through the next stages of its lifecycle. This has been made more complicated by a number of factors .....

..... firstly, I did not really work on the first phase of the project as I joined at a very late stage. To use a cooking analogy, I have basically taken the cake out of the oven and put it on a wire rack. Unfortunately I now need to tell two teams how the cake was made and the best way to store it, serve it, eat it and bake further cakes.

Secondly everyone who did help "bake the cake" has now been pulled on to more vital new projects, as have I. Consequently they not really available to assist and,. if they are, they are not really focussed. In other words they have a five tiered, fully iced, wedding cake to do and it needs to be at the Reception in the next 5 days so don't really want to tell me how this Victoria Sandwich was made. "Just have a look in Mrs Beaton. You'll be fine"

The third factor is that the teams who will take things forward are hampered by resourcing issues - THEY DON'T HAVE ANY! - and seem to prefer it if they can leave things with us. "We're not really Cake People. We're better at Pies and Pasties, You Know, Savouries"

So, after three weeks of herding cats I managed to gather a good proportion of them in a room in darkest Middlesex. I spend three hours showing them slides, that I didn't know as well as I would have liked, and hosting a discussion about whether the flour should be sieved before it is folded in. I was somewhat apprehensive as it was the first time I had run one of these sessions and it had been decided that the presence of a couple of US Executives would calm me down -NOT.

To be honest it went really well and the US Guys were appreciative and helpful.

I have mailed the teams the recipe and if they come back asking for guidance I am almost at the stage where I can reply "Google it".

Not turning up ....

..... seems to have been a sub-plot to today. There have been a couple of occasions where visits were planned but did not come to fruition.

The first of these was TP being taken to A&E. He hurt his wrist at Rugby practice yesterday and complained this morning that it was very painful. Having initially missed a broken scaphoid bone earlier in the year I was ready and prepared to take him to A&E once he got home from school. However, he turned up this evening advising that it was much better and then buggered off to his guitar lesson so I'm pretty sure that, if he can play Razorlight, I'm OK to leave it for a day or so and see if the swelling subsides - Its Tough Love here at The Pile.

..... so that, as they say, "was Goodness".

It should also be pointed out that it is TP's 14th Birthday today. We noted that 10-11.10 was binary and converted it to a decimal number. It turned out to be 46 which is my age - coincidence and not significant. TP was much more impressed by the fact that the latest release of Call of Duty had appeared in his pile of presents and is now plugged in to his X-Box 360. Apparently it features Nazi Zombies!

The second "cancelled visit" came to light at 6.40 pm when I was well in to a glass of 2009 Cotes De Ventoux. The work Mobile rang and I took the call. One of my Presenters at tomorrow's workshop had been "instructed" to cancel and concentrate on other priorities. Its a bit of a bummer but I'm not going to get stressed about it. I cant get a replacement so I'm just going to ensure that any questions or open actions are pointed directly at him. 

Dad and Step-Mum; Sue arrived this evening with Tilly and gifts for TP. As a consequence we had an hour of manic dogs and more of the Cotes De Ventoux.

So, in summary, it has been an intense day at work followed by a complete change of gear as we switched to Birthday mode. It is a bit rough for TP having his Birthday mid week so we will stretch it out to the weekend by dining out on Friday because its not a "school night"

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Other Stuff: the weather today was glorious; Blue Skies and the wind had dropped. I managed to get Tyson and Marauder to sit for a moment during the lunchtime walk and managed to snap them.

Weather Report

"Cawld blo ennit!"

For those of you who live more than 10 miles from my home town and don't understand the local dialect .....

...... The wind is blowing in from the North East and consequently temperatures have dropped. I noticed this when I took T&M for their morning constitutional and realised that my ensemble might be altogether improved by the additional of a muffler and perhaps gloves too.

Herding Cats

That pretty much sums up my day.

I have a workshop to run on Thursday and trying to sort Agendas, attendees and presenters as well as my own material. Everyone seems to be congenitally unavailable which has meant that a single workshop on Thursday now has two associated "sub-sessions" tomorrow.

I lost the will to live when an attendee asked me about travel expenses so I pointed him at the budget holder but he decided to use me as a handy "go between". He also decided that I was similarly handy when he needed information from the company intranet on how to get to the workshop location......

...... "Give me a broom and I'll * sweep the floor as well" 

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* I have avoided using the words "shove", "it", "up", "my", "arse", & "and" to ensure I don't offend anyone.

Done and Dusted

After smoking the 4 flitches of bacon yesterday I left them in the fridge overnight. I suppose, at this point, it is worth mentioning that smoking doesn't only add flavour but also has preservative effects. Many of the chemical compounds released during the smoking process are antibacterial or antioxidant. Smoking therefore reduces the amount of bacteria in the meat and also slows down the process by which the fats in the meat can become rancid

By way of a recap the original side was cut in to 3 flitches to make handling during curing more straightforward. After curing the 3 flitches were divided again to make 6 in total. Two of these were left as "green" unsmoked bacon and were massaged in black treacle and maple syrup and left for just under a week in the fridge. They were sliced and frozen just over a week ago. We tested them before freezing and can report that both were fantastic. The Black Bacon is an amazing colour and the sweetness of the treacle combined well with the salty flavour of the cure.

The remaining 4 flitches were wrapped in muslin and hung in the garage for a couple of weeks. This is a necessary stage as the meat has to develop a pellicle on the surface which allows the smoke particles to adhere more easily to the meat.

The bacon was smoked yesterday and all that remained to be done was slicing and packing.

The original side weighed just over about 15 lbs. Approximately 3+ lbs of weight is lost as a result of water removed by the process.  I have therefore ended up with about 12 lbs of dry cured, hand cut bacon*. The original cost of the side was £60 so the Lb weight is £5.00 or thereabouts. I know I haven't costed my time but I guess that this is no more than 3 hours in total and the cure and smoking sawdust were either free or a couple of pounds at most.

It tastes great and because it is dry cured, there is none of the  white scum and water that oozes from commercial wet cured bacon during cooking.

I appreciate that a full side of pork is a large investment but, if your interest has been piqued, why not give it a try on a smaller scale. A piece of belly pork will cost a few pounds and will give fantastic streaky bacon or beautiful cubes of pancetta to add authentic flavour to any Italian pasta dish. I appreciate that smoking may not be achievable for everyone but it isn't mandatory.

Go on, give it a try.**

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* Plus a few lardons or pancetta
** I'm more than happy to answer any questions via the Journal

Got a Light Boy?

Yep, I'm still Smoking.

The side of Bacon that was dry cured a couple of week back has been retrieved from the garage and suspended over a smoky little charcoal fire in the Inglenook. Most of today has been spent doing chores with one eye on the fire. This reminds me of yet another of my Dad's descriptive sayings; "one eye on the fire and the other up the chimney" for someone who had a cock-eye or a glass eye.   It pretty much sums up my day so far.

This evening we are off to see Reginald D Hunter over at Warwick Arts Centre tonight so it will be an early supper and out of the door by 6.30.

Blackberry News

Well that's got rid of the i-Phone Users.

Back in August 30% and I picked some of the early blackberries. They were still quite tart and there weren't really enough for a decent pie or crumble so, after some recipe research and adaptation, Blackberry Vodka was the product we settled on.

Now nearly three months later I have strained the liquer off the fruit and spices and bottled it. I checked the position of the sun with regard to the Yard Arm and sampled a small glass. I'm really pleased with the result. It is sweet and "Christmassy" as a result of the Brown Sugar and Spices with the, still present, spirit sensation of the Vodka. The Blackberries are there too adding a splendid colour and a distinctive fruity flavour.

Now, I've nothing against Baileys but .......

I appreciate that it is way too late to make a batch this year but the recipe was as follows

• a litre, or thereabouts, of inexpensive Vodka
• 15 tbsp of Brown Sugar or thereabouts
• a couple of cinnamon sticks, crumbled
• a dozen, or so, cloves
• one and a half pounds of  Blackberries

Add all of the above to a preserving jar, seal and shake very day for the first week. The shake once a week, or when you remember. After three months strain off the liquer and bottle. It will improve further with age.

Salut!

Travel Plans

These seem to have occupied a good chunk of time today ....

.... arranging flights, arranging visa waivers, phoning credit and debit card companies to avoid having one's cards blocked and so it goes on.

People say that that "it is better to travel than to arrive".......  Well, that may be so, but having to estimate virtually every expense and then gain four, YES FOUR - levels of approval before I could even book the flight certainly sucked the joy out the planning stage.

I have been to the States a couple of times but never to the East Coast. I'm hoping that Boston lives up to the glowing reports that everyone seems to give it.

..... HANG ON - "its better to travel that to arrive". I have flown on many occasions and I know what air travel is like. Customer Service that seems to be based on the assumption that they are doing you a favour and that very expensive ticket you have purchased is their license to treat you like pond life. A seat that varies from "miserly and uncomfortable" to "broken" and food .......

.......  Yes food - that's probably a subject to steer well clear of.

Then there is their ability to loose baggage and delay flights without so much as a by your leave. Hmmm, I hope it's better to arrive than travel.

A few years back 30%, TP and I had the good fortune to be upgraded to Business Class on a flight to Cairo. I can say without fear of contradiction that the unintentional and intentional pain and distress of "Cattle Class" are totally reversed up there behind that Curtain. There were as many Flight Attendants for the 24 of us "up front" than there were for the remainder of the flight which was probably 240 peasants. The drinks were free and frequent and the food was served on bone china with cutlery and there was a choice. I had the Turbot.
Yep - TURBOT - real fish not some nuked pap that had been knocked up three months ago in a warehouse near Heathrow and had then been deep frozen after the secret process to remove any flavour or texture from it.

The seating was large and comfortable. They had selected a fine blue leather to upholster them and had considerately spaced them so if the chap in front wanted to recline he could do so without imposing in to my personal space. We loved it.

I'm sat here wondering what sort of offering* I need to make to the Gods in order to secure similar good fortune on Sunday week?

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* I'm thinking that this is way beyond chicken or goat and probably up in to the realms of Hippo or Lion.

Motoring Update.

I'll start today's entry with a crappy joke ...... What do Pelicans and The Prius have in common? ......

 ....... Big Bills!     I did say it was a crappy joke.

Today the Prius went in for a Service at the local Independent Dealer who sold her to me a couple of years back. He is a lovely guy and, when asked how Business was, he advised that there was a national shortage of quality used stock and consequently prices were incredibly high. He cast an eye over the Prius asked for the mileage and smiled when he said that if I wanted sell her I could easily get the same price as I paid for her a couple of years back.

This makes the likely bill a little more palatable. To be fair it wont be expensive as a Defender is not a particularly sophisticated beast and, having just passed it's MOT, I am only looking at replacement of fluids and filters plus the annual fiddle with the wiper motor*.

The discussion was also fruitful, and here is the "large beak", as the Dealer can perform a couple of modifications that I have been considering for a good few months. I may be booking her in for a bit of cosmetic surgery in the next couple of weeks.

its amazing what you can knock up in MS Paint

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* The thing will take you up the side of a mountain but if it rains don't expect to see out of the front screen. It seems that they decided to retain a wiper motor design that dates back to the 1960's**
** good it ain't - but she is still not for sale***
*** its a peculiar car that leaks and pours water on you when you get in and you just shrug, smile and get on with your day.

Eddy's Politics

Eddy came in through the cat flap last night.

Having seen off a Grizzly bear and at least two cars in his short life I would have thought that hunting mice was beneath him, but no. Yesterday evening he brought in a live mouse and promptly let it go. The mouse was amazed at this basic feline error and scarpered under the Sofa.

Now I'm not sure if Eddy was saving it for "Ron" - "Later on" - or has heartily embraced the previous Government's view that hunting with hounds is vicious and cruel so they banned it - well, when I say banned, they banned the final kill with hounds, but it is still OK to shoot the fox, deer etc or set a bird of prey on it to tear it apart, kill, dispatch, euthanise it **.

I know Eddy doesn't have a gun license* and I am sure that I would have noticed a large hunting hawk perched in The Pile so I am guessing that it is my role to perform the final act thereby ensuring that we all stay on the right side of the law - as long as they don't look in the box.

A couple of traps were set and I have added another mouse silhouette to the side of the Prius.

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* but he does keep a large locked box under his bed
** I'm not actually sure which one of these the Labour Govt thought was appropriate

Yesterday ......

...... I seemed to spend a hell of a lot of time re-arranging a meeting to suit two people that didn't need to attend but thought it would be a good idea seeing as they were in the country etc.

Another large chunk of the day was spent estimating how much a trip to Boston is going to cost. I didn't realise Lincolnshire was so expensive to get to.

One step forward, two steps back.

For the past few weeks TP and I have been taking Tyson and Marauder to a later Dog Training class. It was going really well as the dogs had all reached a reasonable level of training and there was none of the chaotic clamour associated with the puppy classes. The exercises were more advanced and T&M were performing well.

Then a particular Collie decided that it wasn't overly keen on Marauder and took a couple of nips at her heels and barked at her every time she performed an exercise.

Unfortunately M is not the most confident of dogs. She is very bright and very easy to train but, despite socialisation, is nervous of certain dogs. We don't know what triggers it. With some dogs she is happy to say hello and bounce around but others elicit playful but nervous barking. It is improving as she grows up but there is still some way to go.

Well the relationship with the Collie did not improve despite attempts to get them acquainted and M became more and more withdrawn to the point where her tail was between her legs for the entire class and she would lie under my seat unwilling to perform any tasks. Her tail would spring up as soon as we left the Village Hall at the end of training so it was clear that she wasn't happy there. She had literally gone back months in her training at class but was still fine at home.

In an attempt to resolve we have moved to a Monday class and the first session was yesterday. Things are much better, not perfect, but much better so fingers crossed that this will bring her confidence levels back up.

Tyson*, incidentally, is a completely different character and despite the Collie's antics simply gets on with things and ignores him. Most strange how two dogs brought up together in the same environment are so different.

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* This is the dog that has spent a good proportion of this morning stood on her hind legs attempting to nibble Potato's ears. Potato has shown heroic restraint and tolerated this abuse from his perch on the island in the kitchen.

Catching Up ....

I seemed to spend most of Sunday outside.

The morning was spent at the Rugby Club as TP had a match. We arrived early because of the pre-match chat, warm up etc so 30% and I took T&M for a romp around the fields at the back of the club. The match started at 11 but unfortunately it looked like TP's team thought it was starting at 11.45. It wasn't great and I think I'll leave it at that.

Home for a late lunch and a quick Sunday afternoon doze on the Sofa - RESULT - and then out again for a proper walk with T&M.

The evening saw TP out terrorising the village with a Halloween bucket he came back with plenty of Goodies and a tale of rather nasty, but bloody funny, trick that he played on someone who, with hindsight, should probably have said "treat" rather than "trick"

The evening ended relatively early as I am back to work today or tomorrow, as it was then.

A leisurely day.

It was a bit of a late start this morning as 30%, TP and I had spent the previous evening with my oldest and dearest friends.

By late I mean about 10 o'clock and once again 30% woke me with an espresso. She thinks that she may have actually got up earlier than me for more than half of the week which is a Personal Best. Now we have both been on holiday this week so it has been a bit of a "freestyle" waking event. Lets see how she does next week when we move on to the more arduous 7 a.m. alarm event. That is the the gruelling one that sorts the men from the boys and she knows that I have an array of medals, awards and trophies to prove my prowess at crawling from the bed before her.

...... anyway, back to yesterday evening. I do not have many friends and, like many men, am not particularly good at keeping in touch, but James Bond and Moneypenny are my oldest friends. I first met 007 when I left primary school and then met Moneypenny a couple of years later when we all went to the same High School. Funnily enough they were not married at school - that happened a few years later - but I was there for that occasion and for their 25th Anniversary that was celebrated last month.

We do not meet up that frequently, perhaps a couple of times each year, but every time we do it is like no time at all has passed. We just sit and talk and laugh and just enjoy each other's company*. What is great is that they have really taken to 30% as has she to them, so they are truly "our friends" which makes for such a great evening.

Last night James and Moneypenny provided the venue and 30% and I provided the comestibles. We treated them to a variety of cold cuts, faggots and sausages from the expanding Badman repertoire of porcine dishes, a large quantity of profiteroles and the last of the 2009 Sloe Gin. I'll leave it to 007 to provide a commentary on the grub as he occasionally frequents these pages and has been known to make the odd comment.

TP came too but was little seen as he scurried away upstairs and plugged himself in to James Junior's X-Box 360. I assume he spent the evening teaching the young man the finer points of Halo. Moneypenny Junior treated the boys with feminine disdain and sat herself in front of the Polar Express before reluctantly retiring to her bed - Bless.

Needless to say we talked to the small hours and I didn't make it to my bed until 2 o'clock - ouch!
Moneypenny called this afternoon and she had a a request and a complaint - the former was for the faggots recipe and the latter was that we should do "it" more frequently. I heartily agreed and we loosely agreed to get something sorted before Christmas - THIS CHRISTMAS.

Other stuff, I popped over to see Dad this morning and took Marauder along for the ride. She loved meeting up with Tilly and promptly settled down in Dad's Dining Room with Tilly's bone and several pieces of biscuit that seemed to be regularly proffered by Father  - He'll spoil that bloody dog if he is given half a chance.

Later on I walked T&M round the 3 Miler and then took advantage of the fine weather and dry roads and wheeled the "other bike" out of the garage for a run. It was a bit of a trip down memory lane as my unplanned outing took me past my primary school and through the village where I was born and the surrounding areas that I knew as I grew up.

The weather was fine but cool and the views over the County and the views away to the Cotswolds were fantastic and I am pleased to say that although the passing years have not been without change much of what I saw was still recognisable from the last time I toured those lanes some 25 years ago.

This evening see's 30%'s family joining us for dinner so the kitchen is a hive of activity and I am luck to be getting away with table laying duties. Now, where are the forks ......

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* actually we also tend to stuff our faces and drink quite a bit too.

Bangers and its not November 5th yet.

30% had a bit of a coup in Tesco yesterday and arrived home with 4 Pork Shoulder joints. They were "on special" and we had recently used up the last of the sausages in the freezer so today's agenda was set.

I grabbed the sausage bible and worked out the various quantities of seasoning, bread crumb and other flavourings and 30% set to to work sorting these out while I popped out for an appointment. I returned home about an hour later and joined in the prep work and set about roughly dicing the pork before the mincer was started up.

Each joint produced about 2 kilos of minced pork and we had decided to make 4 batches; pork and apple, sweet chilli, cajun and sun dried tomato. After a hour or so of mixing, kneading and squeezing followed by 40 minutes of "stuffing" and we ended up with these ....

 This is somewhere in the region of 24 lbs of sausages and should keep us going for a good while.  It was, incidentally the first time we had used natural hog casings rather than collagen skins and it was interesting to see how, when linked, the "natural sausages had a slight curl whilst the collagen skinned ones were dead straight.

The brawn had also set and was removed from the fridge sliced and sampled. We had an unbiased tester as a friend of TP's  was here for the day. He was aware of the raw ingredients but happily tucked in. It may have been 13 year old bravado but he declared it "good".  As I said yesterday, the brisket of beef really does lift it as a dish and this will be great with pickles and fresh crusty bread.

Everything but the squeal.

So ends the saying that starts "How much of a pig can you eat?"

Today I road tested this adage by making brawn. Brawn is a "potted meat" or coarse pate which is also known by the rather unappetising name of Head Cheese.

The main ingredient of the dish is half a pigs head and a couple of trotters. I happened to have both of these staples in the freezer as they came with the half pig I bought two or three weeks ago. Now I have made brawn before and I know that it may have been an appealing dish 75 years ago or more when meat was a rare treat but to today's palates it is a little on the basic side and needs a little extra to make it an appetising cold cut.

That little extra oomph is provided by a piece of brisket that accompanies the pigs head. So, where do we start. First you need one of these............

I've left the eye in - it'll see you through the week

 Half a pigs head, two trotters and a small piece of brisket. Not the most attractive set of ingredients but stick with me. These are placed in a large pan of water with a can of dry cider, a load of chopped stock vegetables, salt, ground black pepper, a few black peppercorns, some ground nutmeg, bay leaves and a good bunch of parsley and thyme.

This is then left to simmer for a good two to three hours. At the end the "meat" is removed and the stock is left to reduce to about half of its original volume. While that is happening the meat is dismantled.There is a lot of material to be discarded; fat, gristle, bones and skin. The choice cuts are removed and shredded. The main pieces of meat are the brisket and the cheek muscles from the head. The trotters do give up a few morsels but are mainly there to make the stock and give up their gelatin content.

The shredded pork and beef is placed in a bowl and some of the reduced stock is added. A weighted plate sits on top of the brawn and it will be left overnight in the fridge to set.

The end result is a superb potted pork/beef cold cut that is great sliced with salad and pickles. Some of this will be frozen to enjoy at a later date.

The left over stock has an amazing flavour that puts an oxo cube to shame. This will be frozen as well and used in soups or stews later in the year.

After much deliberation.....

I decided that I could not make sanding the bathroom door and frame in the least bit interesting. So here is a picture of a monkey in a jumper with a gob stopper.

Don't ask ....