Avoidance, not evasion

I forgot to mention that the Tai Chi autumn term started yesterday evening.

As is usual, I was reluctant to go, and then thoroughly enjoyed the session. Our group has a few new members, and it will be interesting to see how many of them stay for more than a few session. And I was delighted to see that JH didn't attend the session.*

Anyway, that was Wednesday, now on to today.

Today was not particularly busy. That is not to say that important things didn't happen, it was just that I didn't have a very hectic day.

First job of the day was to grab the clippers and spend twenty minutes tidying up Hobson's coat. It really didn't take much effort. I did a quick whizz around his rump and then tidied up around the back of his neck. The final job was to change blades and clip his face. 

I'm not exaggerating, it only took twenty minutes and he was no trouble at all. I don't use a grooming table or any restraints. I just get down on the floor, at the same level as the dog, and carry out the clip. I am amazed that the Groomer couldn't finish the job.

Anyway, he now looks quite presentable and I plan to tidy up The Rat at some point this week too.

Today's main event was our annual review meeting with our Financial Advisor.

We spent a couple of hours being taken through our portfolios, recommended changes and tactics for avoiding paying more tax than is absolutely necessary.  I have reached the point where I will need to dip in to my retirement savings in the near future, and the FA has come up with a cunning way to do this whilst limiting tax liability and preserving as many of my Premium Bonds as possible.

Our FA is a lovely chap and he regularly reminds up that we are two of his easiest clients to manage. Apparently we have made some sound financial decisions, ** and don't spend rashly. 

I should also note that TP might do well out of this in a few year's time, as we need to think about minimising his future Inheritance Tax liabilities.

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* I wouldn't wish anything terrible upon her, but I would be eternally grateful if she never, ever attended another Tai Chis session ever again ... Mindful, she isn't!

** More by luck, than judgement!

An unexpected outcome

Today Hobson and Wilson* had appointments at the grooming salon.

It was Wilson's first session at the grooming school, and we were both a little concerned about how he would behave.  I had groomed him at home and he had been very good, but he can be funny with strangers. This was also the first occasion that he had been left in a strange place, since we adopted him in May.

We stressed that the Groomer should call us if there were any problems, and gave them free rein to do as much, or as little, as they felt comfortable with, for his first salon clip.

We left, calling in at the supermarket, before heading home.

The rest of the day was spent pottering in the garden.  30% was focussed on cleaning and tidying in the Ornamental Greenhouse, whilst I attended to a niggling problem with the lawn at the back of the house.

I have to be honest and say that none of the lawns look amazing after three months of drought, but the back lawn had a French drain installed last December, and turf above the drain has not recovered.  The seed sown over this drain didn't stand a chance in the parched conditions, and we currently have a narrow track of bare earth and dead grass crossing the lawn.

This afternoon I liberally scattered grass seed along the route of the drain. A light covering of compost was sieved over the seed, and firmed down. I then gave the seed a good water and now I just need to let nature take its course.  The weather conditions are perfect for grass growth. The soil is still warm, and the frequent showers should provide perfect conditions for germination. I am hoping to see signs of recovery in the next couple of weeks.

The new French drain isn't the only problem. The lawn in front of the Ornamental Greenhouse is in even worse condition. I can see me having to fence it, to keep off the dogs, and then re-seed it.

Anyway, apologies, I seem to have wandered slightly off topic ... back to dog grooming.

Late in the afternoon 30% received a phone call. It was the Groomers calling to advise that Hobson and Wilson were ready for collection. I could tell, from the half of the conversation I heard, that there was more news than just that.

It appears that Wilson was an absolute star. He was described as "a complete gentleman" and was no problem to groom.  Hobson, on the other hand, was, apparently, a complete pain in the arse, and it seems that they had to abandon grooming him. 

Now this came as a complete surprise as he has been groomed there many times before. He can wriggle a bit when his legs are being clipped, but generally he is fine. The groomers had actually taken a video of his behaviour for us to see how bad he was.

In the thirty minute drive in to Stratford we imagined all sorts of horrors, but were at a loss to understand what had happened. I have groomed Hobson on a few occasions and he is no problem at all. And his temperament is wonderful. He is the most loving dog we have ever owned and we were totally confused by the news.

When we arrived we saw that Wilson looks absolutely fantastic in his new clip, whilst Hobson had been washed, dried, brushed and his clip was probably about eighty percent complete. We were shown the video and neither of us could really see what the fuss was about. It seems that he was pawing at the groomer when she walked in front of him. There was no growling or anything like that. He was just playfully pawing at her while she tried to clip him.  We agreed that we would groom Hobson at home from now on, and Wilson was booked in for a solo visit in six week's time.** 

On the way home we both agreed that Hobson hadn't really been a problem dog. Without doubt, the trainee will encounter far worse in their grooming career. We have heard of dogs that need to muzzled and tranquillised before they can be groomed. Hobson was being playful and just needed a firm hand.

Oh well, it looks like three of our dogs will be having a daddy haircut from now on .. and a trainee groomer is in for a few surprises in their chosen career.

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* We may well have found a suitable alias for Wilson. He was going to be called Mummy's Boy, as he showed a strong preference for 30%'s company, and was never far from her side. But he has recently seemed to have realised that I am not as unpleasant as he initially thought, and has taken to sitting at my feet, or even curling up beside me on the sofa. Traitorous Bastard, or TB for short, may well be his new epithet.

** Remember that Whiffler was retired after his last grooming session.

Restocking the stall

My objective for today was to get another batch of honey bottled and ready for sale.

It's not a particularly arduous task, but it is time consuming. Each batch of honey will take a couple of hours to clarify in the hot water bath, and I tend to process two batches on each occasion. This will yield about eleven pounds of honey,* which should keep the stall stocked for a couple of weeks.

The preparations include sterilising jars and making sure that my work area is clean and tidy. It is no surprise that I don't achieve much else on a day like today.

Previously I used to bottle all of my honey immediately after extracting it from the frames. This seemed to be quite efficient, but I found that the crop would often crystallise in the jars. Set honey doesn't seem to sell well to my clientele, so I found myself struggling to clarify honey that had already been bottled.

Bottling a batch every couple of weeks seems to be the best way forward. I rarely have problems with crystallisation and honey is far easier to bulk store in lidded, food safe buckets. 

So that was my Tuesday, honey bottling interspersed with general pottering ... actually I stuck my head in a book whenever I could,** although 30% and I did head out for a short walk with the dogs in the afternoon.

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* 22 x eight ounce jars.

** It is interesting that as soon as autumn arrives I tend to read again. All summer my reading has been limited to news websites, the New Scientist, and general crap on the internet. Now the leaves are turning I find time for a good, and regular, helping of fiction.

A stocktake

 I didn't really have any plans for today.

I knew that I needed to top up Hive #2's feeder this morning, and I guess that nudged me towards a day focussed mostly on beekeeping.

I have been thinking about increasing the number of hives I have next year, and had assumed that I had enough equipment. For some reason I decided to check my beekeeping equipment to see whether this assumption was valid.

Over the course of the morning I checked brood boxes and supers and determined that I could, potentially, have up to eight colonies.  A check on feeders and other paraphernalia made me realise that six was a more realistic target.*

As I worked my way through my inventory, I finally got around to cleaning the pile of hive components that had been abandoned in the carport at the end of 2023.**  This included an hour spent on my hands and knees with a hot air gun, cleaning the wax from a pile of queen excluders.

By the end of the afternoon my equipment was tidied away and a shopping list had been drawn up, detailing a few essential items.

I'm feeling quite optimistic about my plans for expansion.

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* It is necessary to have spare hive components in case of damage, the need to house a swarm, perform splits and shook swarms etc.

** 2023 was the year that I had a very bad back. I was not able to inspect my colonies and they all failed. Towards the end of that year, as my back improved, I managed to get up to the orchard and take a look at the apiary. I was presented with a very sorry scene, moth eaten frames, crumbling comb, hive floors littered with dead bees.  A dead colony is a very sad sight. Six dead colonies was even worse.  I burned the wax moth infested frames and stacked the empty hive components in the carport. They have sat there until today.

"The Chatsworth"

Over the past few weeks I have been pulling together the components for a water feature.

This "feature" will take the form of a stone trough, with a low fountain bubbling through, and over, a layer of water rounded pebbles. The trough, pump and mesh to support the pebbles have all been sourced from eBay, and the pebbles have been turned up by the plough in the field upslope from the cottage.

This morning I amused myself by trimming the plastic grid to fit the shape and contours of the stone trough. It took a while, and several trial fits, before it slotted perfectly inside the rim of the trough.

I couldn't restrain myself and quickly filled the trough with water, located the pump and installed the plastic grid. A dozen or so pebbles were arranged above the pump and The Chatsworth* was powered up for the first time.

I am absolutely delighted with my little fountain. It looks and sounds delightful, with the water gently splashing over the pebbles.

We really can't wait to get it installed in the Ornamental Greenhouse.

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* This inaugural model is named in honour of the superb fountain at Chatsworth House in Derbyshire.  I bought a 1,000 litres per hour pump, and, after a trial in the utility room, realised that it needed to be adjusted to its lowest setting, to avoid wet ceilings and flooded accommodations. 

Nothing, Zero, Nada

Saturday didn't see much happen.

I headed over to Childswickham for a morning of clay pigeon shooting. I had a pleasant enough time, but my shooting was well off target. 

In the afternoon we headed over to Redditch to make a few purchases from a retail park, and, as a result, I am now hoping for a great night's sleep on my new pillows.

That's it. My knee is improving, but still bloody painful, so I am spending as much time as I can sat with my head in book.

Let's do lunch

I had invited Grandad Jack over for lunch today.

I hadn't seen the old bugger for a few months and felt it was time to catch up on his latest news.  30% is also very fond of the curmudgeonly old sod, and hadn't seen him in an age, so she too was keen to catch up.

Now Jack has fairly recently been given the all clear after surgery and chemo/radio therapy following the discovery of a tumour in his neck. He has made a fantastic recovery, but still has difficulty with eating solids.

Under normal circumstances I would have prescribed a home cured bacon sandwich, which will heal anything, but I was aware that Jack is not yet ready for anything that substantial.

I therefore got busy in the kitchen this morning and cooked up a pan of cream of tomato soup. It was well seasoned with plenty of garlic and black pepper, and a heavy handed glug of double cream added a richness to the tasty soup.

Jack turned up at lunch time and we had a splendid few hours chatting and catching up on each others' news. The soup was a big hit, and he even went for a second helping.

We made sure he went home well provisioned, sending him off with another portion of soup, eggs, honey and a jar of crabapple jelly.

When he sent a WhatsApp thank you message, he advised that he had scrambled a couple of our eggs and had them with a slice of hot buttered toast for his supper. He actually managed to eat the toast, which was the first time he had eaten bread since his operation.  We were both quite touched that he attributed this dietary milestone to the quality of our eggs ... Bless him!

So that was my Friday.

I also found time to wander up to the orchard and remove the obsolete brood box from hive #2.  There were still a few bees clustering in the brood box, so my use of a clearer board was, at best, only partially successful.  I shook the remaining bees in to the brood box and reassembled the hive with a feeder positioned above the crown board.  I made up about four litres of syrup and poured this into the feeder towards the end of the day.

Bailey Frame Change completion

It is now twenty one days since I relocated hive #2's queen bee to the upper brood box as part of the Bailey Frame Change process.  All of the brood in the lower brood box has now hatched, which means that the lower brood box, with its dirty old comb can be removed, without impacting the number of bees in the  colony.

The first thing I needed to do was to place the upper brood box on a new hive floor, and then check through the frames. There were plenty of bees and stores, and the brood nest now seems to be spread across three frames. I didn't see the queen, but the presence of brood indicates that she is in there and laying. 

Next I removed the lower, now obsolete, brood box from the hive stand, and replaced it with the brood box that houses the queen. I now had two options. I could attempt to shake the bees from the obsolete brood box in to the chamber with the queen, or use a clearer board to separate the two brood boxes, and hope the bees move down out of the obsolete box overnight. 

I went with the latter option, and will see whether it was effective tomorrow.  I will also start to feed hive #2 tomorrow, once I complete the consolidation to a single brood box.

I then went on to check hives #1 and #3. Both hives are in great condition. The bees look really healthy and have plenty of syrup stored for the winter. They are already starting to cap off the stored syrup, which indicates that every thing is heading in the right direction. I spotted both queens, and I also noticed that almost all of the drones have now been excluded from the hives ... the bees know that the summer is over.

During this morning's Apiary inspection I heard Phil the Postie sound his van horn. Phil is, understandably, a little nervous of Wilson,* and this is his signal that he has post for us. On hearing the horn I started to jog from the Orchard to the front of the house. En route I managed to twist my knee and ended up limping up to take receipt of the parcel.**

I don't know what I've done to my knee, but it is really bloody painful. I spent the remainder of the day resting the injury. The knee has been strapped and plenty of painkillers have been consumed.  I abandoned any thoughts of fishing with Bubbles and did little other than read.

I really hope it is not as severe as it feels at the moment.

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* He is a lovely dog, but is incredibly territorial. Let's just say that he is a big softie if you know him, but a snarling, leaping maniac if you're a stranger!

** It turned out to be some Knapweed seeds purchased as a gift for 30%

Rain stopped play

First job of the day was to pour a couple of litres of syrup in to the feeders on hives #1 and #3.  We both then ventured in to the vegetable garden. 

30% continued with the removal of the runner bean vines, which were cut down and taken up to the orchard for composting. The bamboo teepees were dismantled and tucked out of the way in the carport roof space. 

I grabbed a hand fork, a bucket and a kneeling pad, and set to weeding around the leeks and back towards the area, recently occupied by the beans.  As we did this the breeze freshened and dark clouds appeared on the horizon.

Showers were forecast and I really didn't fancy being on my hands and knees in the veg patch in a cloud burst. I did, however, really need to get my Spring Cabbage planted out. These had been sown at the end of July, and were just about ready to be put in the earth alongside my row of Savoys.

I grabbed a watering can, a trowel and a length of string, and soon had a new row marked out. I only had ten Durham Early plugs to plant out, and forty minutes later they had been firmed in to the soil. 30% assisted with getting the row netted,* and now I just need to keep them watered and weed free over the coming months.

The showers arrived in the early afternoon and were quite frustrating.  They didn't produce a great amount of rain, but they made everything too wet to continue weeding or mowing. Actually that's now quite true ... 30% persuaded me to take the Beast up to the orchard and mow over the runner bean vines. I can report that these have been chopped in preparation for composting and I also had a trial mow of the orchard.**

This evening we headed out to the Palace Theatre in Redditch for a comedy club night.  We had a great time and were surprised and delighted to discover that the star act was Ed Byrne.  We have seen Ed on many occasions over the years and never tire of his anecdotes.

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* The butterfly numbers are now declining, but the bloody pigeons will destroy them, given the chance.

** It looks a little better. I need a dry couple of days to get it tidied up before the wet weather sets in.

Medical Stuff

 After several months of mostly waiting,* today was the day that 30% had her consultation with her Neurology Specialist.  It was also the day that I needed to visit the dentist's to have a crown fitted.

Basically it was a day of medical stuff.

30%'s appointment wasn't until late in the morning, so I spent the first couple of hours pruning the ornamental crab apple in the front garden. I had just about finished, when it was time to tidy myself up and head over to the hospital with her ladyship.

The consultation was informative, but, unfortunately, not definitive.  Medications were revised with the aim of countering some of her symptoms, and she has been referred for surgery to deal with her severe carpal tunnel syndrome. A course of physiotherapy has also been proposed. 

It seems that her problems may well relate to a birth defect, and she has been referred on to Specialists at the Royal Orthopaedic Hospital in Birmingham.  There is no guarantee that the ROH will proscribe further treatment, so it seems she is on another waiting list, and, in the meanwhile,  just needs to manage her symptoms.

This might sound rather negative, but we actually see it as positive. There were no mentions of tumours or new conditions. It seems likely that this stems from a condition that she has had all of her life, and management of symptoms may well be the way forward.

The consultation was obviously the most significant new of the day.

We returned home, and I then headed off for my dental appointment. I stopped off at the feed store on the way home, and picked up a bag of layers pellets.

I arrived home close to three o'clock, had a late lunch, and then had a snooze on the sofa.

The late afternoon was spent moving the crab apple prunings to the bonfire in the orchard and mowing the grass in front of the garage.

As afternoon became evening we headed down the lane with the dogs for a rather pleasant walk.

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* The wait for Nerve Conductivity tests and an MRI scan were ridiculous, especially taking in to account the fact that I was given an MRI in less than a fortnight when I was checked out for possible prostate cancer earlier in the year.

Getting my steps in

After yesterday's brief outing with the mower, my plan for today was to get the lawns mowed at the front and back of the house.

I needed the early morning dew to dry off, so it was convenient that 30%, first, wanted to drop off a roll of fabric and some seat cushions at an upholsterer in Cropthorne.

This little run out, actually consumed most of the morning, as we had stopped off at Goll's Nursery on the way home. 

I did, however, find time to run the mower around the back lawn before we had lunch.

The afternoon saw me out at the front of the cottage dealing with the front lawn. I am really pleased at how a couple of weeks of light showers and quick run over the lawns with the mower has made the place look a lot tidier.  The harsh, hot, dry Summer had not been kind to the garden!

So, that was Monday. I seemed to walk a long way without going anywhere, but the garden now looks cared for. 

The problem is that I keep seeing little jobs that need to be attended to ... The ornamental crab apple at the front really does need pruning.

It's finally growing again

Saturday wasn't entirely taken up with showing veg. I did find twenty minutes to put feeders on Hives #1 and #3. I poured a couple of litres of syrup in to them, and closed up the hives.* 

So that was yesterday, now on to today.

This morning I did something that I haven't done for months** ... The recent showers have had an amazing effect on the lawns and the brown, parched turf has greened up incredibly quickly.  They haven't completely recovered. There are still brown patches, and the new growth is quite thin, but they look a lot better than they have since late Spring.

I decided it was time to drag out the lawn mower and tidy them up a little.  I am hoping that a light trim will encourage the grass to shoot from the base, and thicken out the sward.

I didn't get very far with my mowing, but I did manage to tidy up the grass paths around the tomato greenhouse and veg patch. I also finally pruned the cooking apple tree that sits by the gateway to the orchard.  

I have had to duck under  a couple of branches every time I head up to check on the bees or chickens, and now we are getting rain I get a regular drenching from the foliage too.  It's a little thing, but my walk to the orchard is now much easier.

Late in the mooring I got a call from the Opticians. They advised that my varifocals were ready for collection, so I abandoned the mower and headed in to Alcester to pick them up.

So that was my morning. Amongst all of that, I also managed to make up another four litres of sugar syrup, which will be fed to the bees, once it has cooled sufficiently.

TP arrived just before lunch for a flying visit. He had spent Saturday in Nottingham with his mother, celebrating her birthday, and had decided to call in for lunch and a catch up. We had a lovely couple of hours exchanging news and we even managed a walk down the lane with the dogs.  

He headed home midway through the afternoon and we returned to our Sunday pottering. 

I checked the two hives and both colonies had each taken two litres of syrup down in to the hives. I added another couple of litres to each feeder and made a mental note to buy more sugar.

As the afternoon turned to evening, our thoughts turned to supper. 30% really fancied tomato soup, so I was persuaded to don my virtual apron and knock up a batch of soup.

So that was Sunday, I see a lot more mowing over the next few days!

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* It's not good practice to disturb the colonies too often, so this activity was done swiftly, with minimal impact on the bees.

** I checked, and the last time I mowed the lawns was on the 10th June. That was the back lawn. I hadn't mowed out the front since the 25th May.

Village Show Results

 Here's how we did at the Village show earlier today.

For reference all entries are made in 30%'s name for a couple of reasons. Firstly joint entries are not permitted and secondly there is a Challenge Cup for the most points scored by a female entrant. We stand more chance winning in this category than going up against "Fred" who wins the corresponding male category with ease every year.

First Prize

• 3 Carrots, any one variety
• 3 Beetroot, any one round variety
• 5 Apples, any one cooking variety
• Runner Beans, 6 pods

Second Prize

• 3 Beetroot, any one round variety 
• 6 eggs

Third Prize

• 3 Carrots, any one variety
• Dish of any other fruit, Quince
• A jar of honey
• A specimen Cactus or Succulent
• 5 Apples, any one dessert variety

Highly Commended

• 5 Tomatoes (not cherry), any one variety
• 5 Apples, any one cooking variety
• A jar of honey (set)

Silverware

• None this year, but
• 2nd in the most points earned in the fruit classes,
• 2nd in the most points earned by a female competitor

It is worth mentioning that the show organising committee have brought in new judges. In previous years it had been noted that none of the baked good or preserves were tasted as part of the judging process. This was somewhat exasperating, as how on earth can you judge food solely on appearance?

This year the judges tasted the food entries and provided a note for each entry scoring it on taste, texture, appearance etc. Eggs are now subject to freshness testing, and inspection of the contents too.  This is a much needed improvement to the show.

Both entries of honey were scored at 95/100, and it was commented that they had good flavour. It was also remarked that the set entry had a "good set".

We also entered two jars of crabapple jelly. Neither won a prize, but they were scored at 76/80 and 78/80. I'm really pleased with that, considering it was the first time I'd ever made a jam.  The crabapple jelly with cinnamon was the entry that scored higher, with the comment, "good level of cinnamon - not overpowering"

The "Horti" Show

Saturday was taken up with the village Horticultural Show.

We were both up early and, after a quick breakfast, were out in the garden selecting the produce that needed to be exhibited as fresh as possible.

30% took care of the runner beans, whilst I selected the carrots and beetroot. 

It has been a tough year for growing fruit and vegetables and we both struggled to find matching examples of good quality produce.  I think it's fair to say that neither of us expected to win any prizes, and I did question why I was getting so stressed over a little village show!

Shortly after nine o'clock we headed up to the village hall, and spent the next couple of hours setting out our exhibits and catching up with friends and acquaintances.  

Despite the hard growing conditions, there were a huge quantity of entries, and exhibitors were struggling to find space on the show tables for their produce.  We were also reassured that our produce wasn't, perhaps, as poor as we originally thought.

We headed back home at eleven and left the Show Judges to do their worst.

Lunch and a post-prandial nap followed before 30% and I headed back up to the village hall to see how we had done.

It is fair to say that we had done much better than we had expected. Many of our entries had prize cards, and this made our efforts and stress seem worthwhile.

After checking our results we had a lovely time wandering around the hall chatting with friends and fellow exhibitors. I'm not a particularly social person, but I really did have a fine time congratulating, commiserating and talking about the experiences of growing veg in such a hot, dry Summer.

I suppose I had better start planning our 2026 campaign!

Bees & The Horticultural Show

If ever there was a sign that Summer is over, today's Journal entry provides the evidence that Autumn is finally here. 

Today was always going to be focused on preparing the hives for the Winter and selecting our entries for the village horticultural show, which takes place tomorrow.  Throw in the general stuff that needs to be done around the house and garden, and the probability of an early afternoon snooze was plummeting.

First job of the day was to finish installing the second curtain pole in the living room.  Within an hour I had the pole resting on its brackets, and I'm reasonably pleased with the job.  I can see 30% angling for us to order another three poles for the dining room in the very near future.

Next on my list was a wander up the orchard to check on the hives. We are approaching the end of the beekeeping season, and it is time to get the colonies in order for the coming Winter. This means that I need to ensure that they are well fed and in good health.

Hives #1 and #3 are both very similar. The queens were seen, and each hive has about four frames of brood. I gave each colony a Varroa treatment,* which will remain in the brood box for the next six weeks. I also separated the super from the brood box with a clearer board.  The bees should vacate the super overnight, and I can remove the supers from the hive tomorrow. I will then start to feed these colonies with sugar syrup.

Hive #2 seems to finally be heading in the right direction. It is now fourteen days since the queen was relocated to the upper brood box, and she now has eggs, larvae and capped brood on two frames. I added another frame of drawn comb alongside the brood nest; in the hope that the queen would expand her nest on to that frame too. A couple of strips of Apistan were inserted between the frames to treat any Varroa, and I then went on to check the lower brood box. It came as no surprise that the quantity of capped brood in that part of the hive is diminishing, as the queen has not laid there for over a fortnight.** 

I am reasonably pleased with the frame change and am looking forward to removing the lower brood box and Bailey board at next week's inspection. The hive will then be returned to a more standard configuration, and I can then start feeding colony #2 as well.

After finishing with the bees, I stayed in the orchard and attended to our Wisteria. 

We only planted it at the beginning of May, and it has grown at least three feet in height. This new growth needed to be tied in to the supporting apple tree trunk.  The plant has done really well, despite the drought, as I have conscientiously given it the dregs from the chicken's drinker every evening. It's only been a couple of pints, but it has worked wonders!

The remainder of the afternoon and early evening was spent selecting exhibits for the Autumn Horticultural Show. It amazes me how many apples, damsons and tomatoes need to be picked in order to select an entry of five or six matched specimens in perfect condition.

We'll be at it again tomorrow morning, as certain items of produce need to be as fresh as possible for showing. I must admit that I wonder why I do it. I get quite stressed about selecting the perfect entry, and quite forget that it is only a little village show. They don't even have prize money!

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* Apistan strips

** Worker brood takes twenty one days to develop from egg to adult worker bee. Hence, the Bailey Frame change has a twenty one day cycle, once the queen has been relocated to the upper brood box. At the end of twenty one days, all of the brood in the lower box will have developed and hatched, and the box and combs can be removed. The brood nest, with young at all stages of development, is now present on fresh comb in what was the upper brood box.

DIY and a spot of culture

First job of the day* was to make a start on fitting the second curtain pole in the living room.

The old plastic curtain track was screwed to a wooden batten, that had been fixed above the window aperture. I removed the old track and carefully examined the batten.  I was well aware that incautious removal of the batten could result in large chunks of plaster falling to the ground. I discovered that it seemed to be held with three nails, and judicious use of a multi tool soon had it removed, without any drama.

A few moments with a chisel and a claw hammer had the remaining pieces of batten and nails removed and I was able to plan my next steps ... My next step was actually a trip in to Alcester for some Polyfilla, as the area behind the batten needed a skim of filler to tidy up the top edge of the window recess.

On my return, I soon had the filler applied, but couldn't really progress any further, until the filler set hard. I did manage to fit the central bracket for the window pole, but that was it for the day.

In the afternoon I completed another little DIY job. A few days ago I fitted a rainwater diverter to the down pipe from the garage roof. The installation of the diverter had made the down pipe a little wobbly, so a new pipe retention clip was screwed in to place ... Finally a job has been completed! 

This evening 30% and I headed in to Birmingham for a lecture at the Symphony Hall. Professor Alice Roberts was giving a lecture about her recent book; Domination.  We spent a fascinating couple of hours listening to Doctor Roberts outline how a small religion from the Middle East came to dominate Europe. It was absolutely fascinating, especially the development of the organised Christian religion alongside the culture and architecture of the Roman Empire.

Shall I ask for the book for Christmas?

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* ignoring the fact that I had already fed and let the chickens, and placed the box of honey jars out on the road-side stall

Green Energy?

I felt that I had earned a rest day after yesterday's problematic picture rail erection. Mind you, at my age, perhaps I should expect problematic erections?*

Anyway, moving swiftly on, we had been invited over for lunch with "H" in Worcester today. We headed over midway through the morning, and were delighted to find that "B" was also at home. Daughter "K" and granddaughter "O" made up the rest of the party, and we had a splendid time chatting, eating and amusing little "O".**

And that was the main news for today.

We headed home just before three o'clock, and both of us had a long snooze after all the excitement.

Now I appreciate that this isn't the most exciting Journal entry, so I thought I'd introduce you to an idea I've been mulling over for  a while.  

Green energy sources are worthy ideas to explore, and I think I may have come across a source for small scale power generation. Let me explain ...

30% loves fresh, unsliced bread. We have a bread maker and we both enjoy the lovely loaves it makes. However, these loaves need to be sliced.  My dear wife will regularly  recount the tale of her dear departed grandmother, who would butter the loaf before cutting away the thinnest of slices. Apparently the woman was a demon with a bread knife.

Unfortunately my good woman did not inherit the bread slicing genes of her paternal grandmother, as is evidenced by these Journal entries.

I have frequently joked that her loaf abominations would have her Gran "turning in her grave," and this gave me the idea for a micro power station. 

If I video streamed an array of poorly sliced loaf pictures in to late Grandmother's resting place,*** and linked up some form of dynamo to her, now rotating, body, I have the basics of a small scale energy factory. I reckon that I could use the headstone to house the necessary control mechanisms, and then all I need is a discrete power cable feeding in to the National Grid.

It's just an idea at this stage, but I think it has potential. One simply needs to identify the subject matter that would cause a willing volunteer to rotate post mortem.  Then design suitable video material to initiate the rotary motion, and you're away. 

Obviously we need some form of pre-death authorisation to generate power from a dearly departed relative. I was thinking of something along the lines of an organ donor card?

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* Apologies, if you found that to be in poor taste. 

** "O" is three towards the end of the year and is a real poppet! She is an absolute delight to be around.

*** Obviously in a tasteful and respectful manner!

A love/hate relationship

My "not five minute job" continued this morning.

Yesterday I got the bracket positioning worked out, and had constructed the wooden spacers needed. Today I could procrastinate no further ... It was time to drill some holes. 

Now these curtain poles are heavy,* and need to be fixed firmly to the wall. I offered up several prayers to the Gods of DIY, to ensure that my drill bit would find sold brick, rather than crumbly lime mortar.

It seemed that my petitions had been answered when I saw a trickle of red brick dust emerge from the drill hole. It would be a solid fixing. I then followed up with a pilot hole in to the oak beam. Everything was going beautifully, and I started to screw the bracket to the wall.

The screw went in to the brickwork and seemed to be holding well, so I started on the second screw in to the oak beam. I'd been careful to drill out a pilot hole and, again, the screw went in well. With a couple of turns of the screwdriver left to go, I felt the screw snap ... Fuck!

I removed the bracket and checked out the situation, hoping that there was a sufficient length of screw protruding, for me to gain purchase with a pair of mole grips. As I removed the bracket and spacer block I discovered that my supplications to the DIY Gods had been insufficient. The screw had snapped off flush with the surface of the beam. How on God's earth was I going to get the damned thing out!

I considered my options which seemed to be 1) relocate the bracket, or 2) attempt to remove the screw from the beam. Option two was always going to be the preferred option, as I had spent an age ensuring that the pole was perfectly positioned; taking account of the curtain length and window frame proportions. I then spent a happy few minutes exploring whether a screw extractor would be of any use.**

In the end I realised that I had little option but attempt to drill out the screw. I will freely admit that I was doubtful of any chance of success. I was going to attempt to drill down the centre of a 5mm diameter length of metal with a 2mm diameter drill bit.  The most likely scenario was that the drill bit would skip off the broken end of the screw and drill in to the beam instead.

I positioned the bit with care and slowly started to drill. I frequently checked my progress and, when necessary, revised the angle of attack in an attempt to remove the obstructing screw.

After a few minutes, I realised that I was actually making headway, when I saw a little pile of metal swarf start to accumulate outside the hole. Clearly the Gods had had their fun with me, and had now decided to reward my perseverance.

It took all of the morning, but I eventually got the brackets fitted. The pole was dropped in to place and 30% took care of ironing and hanging the curtains. 

I must admit that I get an incredible feeling of satisfaction from overcoming the challenges of working on an older property, doing a job properly, with attention to detail. I am well aware that a tradesman would have either charged me a fortune, bodged it, or both! 

It has taken me a day of effort*** and a plethora of tools from the workshop. It has been stressful, and there has been a lot of swearing, but I am very pleased with the outcome.

What I haven't yet mentioned, is that the room has two windows. The next one is larger, and has a completely different set of challenges to be taken in to consideration ... 

... I do have a love/hate relationship with old properties!

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* 25mm diameter iron poles with ball end finials

** My research suggested that they are only any good if the screw head is still attached i.e. when the cross head or slot is severely damaged, making removal challenging.

*** Not counting the time I put in to planning the job, and how I would deal with the likely pitfalls.

Post Script: 

I should also mention that our afternoon included a visit from local artist, JH and his lovely wife S. They had come to scrump some damsons from one of our trees for jam making. After helping them pick a few kilos, we all retired to the patio, and had a splendid couple of hours chatting, drinking tea and eating 30%'s home-made apple cake.

There's no such thing as a five minute job

A significant part of my working life was spent estimating how long various tasks would take, identifying appropriate resources and determining costs. 

I rapidly learnt that there is no such thing as a five minute job.  However simple a task might seem, there is a need to document what needs to be done. Allowances need to made for clarifications and questions. There is the time needed for management, time recording and, of course, procrastination and coffee breaks.  When these, and countless other factors, are taken in to account that five minute job will accrue at least a half-day of effort!

So, where am I going with this?

About ten days ago we took delivery of two rather nice wrought iron curtain poles. They are beautifully constructed, and will compliment our windows much better than the plastic tracks, from which our curtains currently hang.

These poles have been carefully stored under the settee, until I a) summoned up the courage to fit them, or b) could find no further excuse not to fit them!

Unfortunately I have run out of urgent tasks that need to be completed, AND 30% has started to make polite, but less than subtle, enquiries about when the poles will be fitted.

So, today I made a start on putting up the poles.

I've already explained the reasons why there is no such thing as a five minute job, and I have spent many hours going through the various problems I was likely to encounter completing this particular job.  I should point out that the cottage was built around 1700 and you haven't got a clue what lies behind the plaster work!* Basically I was about to start a job that I knew was highly unlikely to be straightforward.

The first phase of the work was some careful measuring and marking out of the position for the first bracket.  The bracket is affixed with two screws, and the lower of these will be inserted in to the brickwork.** The second screw needed to be inserted in to an oak beam that surmount the window frame.

The beam is slightly recessed, which necessitated me having to construct an oak spacer to allow the curtain pole bracket to fit flat against the wall.

That might sound simple, but knocking up a wedge shaped spacer from oak took me the best part of two hours and involved a minor service to my table saw and belt sander, and a trip to Screwfix for a new sanding belt.

Did I mention that there is no such thing as a five minute job?

By mid afternoon, any enthusiasm I had was gone. I can't believe I am saying this, but I was relieved to head off to the dentist, and spend forty five minutes in the chair having the preparation work for a crown!

I'll get back to the curtain pole tomorrow.

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* Many years ago, when we were refurbishing The Pile, I removed the plaster from the walls in the Dining Room. This room was built in the early nineteenth century, and was clearly constructed from whatever came to hand. As the brickwork was revealed, I came across a block of timber that had been mortared in, in place of a couple of bricks. Over the years the block of wood had dried out and contracted. As I carefully removed it form the wall I noticed that it's upper surface was covered with dead beetles. Obviously the wood had been infested with larvae when it was put in to the wall. Over time the larvae had pupated and hatched. When the adults had emerged, they had no escape route and had spent the following two hundred years entombed in our wall. It was quite a macabre find.

** Well! I say "brickwork," Christ knows what is actually behind the plaster. It could be lime mortar or something even less substantial!

Expansion?

Over the past few weeks I have been considering increasing my number of hives to six, or possibly a few more.

In the past, whilst working, I always said that "four is enough," but now I'm retired I have the time to care for more colonies. I already have the necessary equipment, AND I can take a snooze whenever I like too!

So, I'm thinking about expanding, in a very small way.

I make a reasonable amount of money from my hives, but nowhere near enough to live on. They provide a nice little trickle of cash that cover beekeeping costs, the occasional takeaway, and the odd day out clay pigeon shooting.  

Increasing the number of colonies, won't actually be much more effort, apart from that involved in extracting the honey crop. In real terms doubling my number of hives will probably only add an extra three or four days of effort each year.

So what is driving my thoughts on expansion? I seem to be selling an increased amount of honey from my little roadside stall, and there are a few other potential outlets for me to explore too. Honey also doesn't go off, so having a reserve supply would be a useful buffer if I suffer a poor harvest ... or if sales go crazy!*

On the subject of honey sales, a few weeks ago a lady, of Vietnamese origin, called by and purchased ten jars of honey over a three day period.  She called in again yesterday, asking for another ten jars! I advised that I was midway through bottling a batch and that more would be available today.  

At nine clock this morning she pulled up at the gate and took away ten jars. Her fiancé grinned a little sheepishly, and advised that she really loves my honey. Apparently a couple of jars will be heading over to Vietnam with her parents, when they return home later this month.

Mind you, that wasn't the last of it! By the end if the day I had sold another five jars,  making fifteen in total ... At this rate I'll be bottling again by Friday.

In other news, my main focus today was to set up a new water butt. 30% acquired a lovely little butt from an acquaintance in the village via Facebook. This morning I spent a happy hour constructing a lid from a few scraps of wood. I then headed in to Redditch to pick up a rainwater diverter kit.  It will come as no surprise that the afternoon was spent siting the butt, and fitting the diverter kit to a conveniently located down pipe. 

After a successful test, I can report that I have a good flow** in to the butt. All I need to do now is fit another couple of down pipe brackets and then declare the job completed.

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* A reserve supply will also reduce the amount I buy in bulk from Beekeeper Pete. I still make a decent margin as a reseller of his stock, but I'd be daft not to make the best profit possible.

** At 61 any good flow is a welcome surprise!