It could have been so much worse

TP shambled down the stairs this morning and, unusually, attempted to engage me in what passes for early morning discussion in his iteration of the multiverse.

It transpired that he had suffered a puncture on his way to work yesterday evening. He had not been able to remove his wheel nuts so had driven on the flat tyre and had abandoned his car at work. A friend had given him a lift home.

He was going to take the bus in to college and it was agreed that I would assist him with the changing of the wheel when he came home from his studies. I settled in front of the computer and Googled Breaker Bars and local suppliers. If TP's wheel nuts were as stubborn as he had indicated, one of these was going to be very helpful in changing his wheel this evening.

Normally I would have found a spare hour and nipped in to Redditch to pick up a breaker bar, but I had a fairly packed agenda so the plan was to head in to Screwfix with TP, collect the aforementioned bar and then head over to his car and swap the wheel after work this evening. What could possibly go wrong with that plan?

The working day went well. The bulk of my time was spent preparing a presentation for a call tomorrow where I will talk my manager and other key stakeholders through a cost/benefit analysis I plan to undertake. I also had a great call this morning where I politely educated a project manager about why he could not simply offer to give away $140K without following the necessary procedures and obtaining the relevant authorisations. It was interesting to note his reluctance to back down from his position despite being wrong.*

I managed a somewhat extended lunch today as Grandad Jack paid a visit to take collection of a few bags of compost for his allotment. We spent an hour or so in one of the local pubs having a natter before he headed off for a session of double digging. He plans to return in a few weeks for the contents of our other compost bins.**

Eventually TP arrived home and we headed out towards Redditch. Before leaving the socket set was loaded in to the car and, typically, I had to pause 100 yards into our journey while TP returned to pick up his car keys.*** We arrived at Screwfix to be told that they didn't have any breaker bars. We were then reliant on TP's iPhone with minimal battery life to locate Tool Zone.

At this point I should mention that I really needed to be home by six in order to leave for puppy training. Time was ticking on, the light was fading and I didn't like the look of those black clouds.

We arrived at Tool Zone and found something that looked like it would do the job but the item description didn't state whether the bar was a 1/2" or 3/8" drive. Eventually the bar was retrieved from the warehouse and a brief inspection showed it to be the right size. Result! We paid and finally headed towards TP's abandoned Fiat.

As we left the car park the rain started and I made an Executive decision … TP called 30% and asked her to cancel puppy training. I was likely to be late. I was extremely likely to be wound up and, worse than that, I was going to be wet. Anyone who knows me well knows that I hate being wet!

We headed towards TP's car and attempted to use the back lanes to avoid the snarl-up of traffic and roadworks in Astwood Bank. The back road had been closed meaning that we had to loop back up on to the High Street. Time ticked on, the sky darkened and the rain continued to fall.

We eventually reached TP's ar and the wheel change wasn't too bad. There was a minor complication about locking wheel nuts but the rain had slowed to a light drizzle and within twenty minutes we were heading back to The Pile.

30% had cancelled dog training and had lit a fire. I got myself on the outside of a glass of wine and relaxed

---

* Call me cynical, but this guy is a Contractor and I would guess that he plans to jump ship and engage directly with the customer when the current contract ends in three years time. It is fair to say I trust the fucker about as far as I could throw him.
** These are being removed because of our current rodent problem.
*** Yes, the ones I had specifically asked if he had, not five minutes before we left.

Garden and car plans

This morning I was up and about just before seven and ninety minutes later I was still pottering about on my lonesome. I realised that both TP and 30% were going for an Olympic standard lie-in so I breakfasted, gathered the dogs together and headed out for an early morning walk.

I returned shortly after ten and found 30%, still in her pyjamas, hanging washing on the line. A restorative coffee was drank and she disappeared upstairs to dress. We then headed out in to the garden to bag up some compost, which will be gifted to Grandad Jack for use on his allotment.

As we shovelled the fine mulch in to sacks we discussed the garden and agreed that it needed some serious attention. For the past few months we have been plagued by rats and they continue to appear in the chicken run despite laying down bait. This morning I found that their tunnels now extend for the full length of the runs and decided that enough is enough ... The chickens have to go*, as do the compost bins and any other sources of food or shelter.

30% agreed the plan and this will allow us to make some changes to the coops and runs that should make poultry keeping a little less muddy in Winter.** We also plan to take out several trees and shrubs, lay turf in some areas and open out the garden. Brief references were made to a shed for the mower and  dealing with the messy area where TP's trampoline used to stand. It will, as they say, be nice when it is finished.

For once 30% had decided that our main meal should be a Lunch rather than a dinner so we ate later than usual. After a splendid roast chicken we tidied the kitchen and ourselves and then headed out to a car dealership in Droitwich.

We have both agreed that the Range Rover is not the car for us. It is beautiful and luxurious but it "just isn't us". 30% hit the internet and had found a beautiful, but expensive Land Rover Defender County. She is working on the principal that if we get a nearly new one we will keep it for a very long time.

Unfortunately the Defender had been sold and the salesman was disinterested to the point of being rude so we turned tale and headed home. However 30% now has the idea firmly planted in her head as she was particularly taken by the Defender 110 with plenty of room for people, dogs and luggage. She was to be found scouring the internet for Land Rovers after we had returned home and sat in front of  a fire.

That pretty much sums up Sunday. I did set up a trial to see whether epoxy resin will secure cable tie holders to aluminium … as this is how I plan to secure the wiring loom inside the Enfield's rear mud  guard. I also pondered living with a 110 after the compact 90.

I guess I could live with it.

---

* temporarily, for a year or so.
** we plan to lay slabs in parts of the runs to give them an all weather surface rather than the quagmire that occurs during prolonged periods of rain.

f-f-f-f-freezing!

This morning I was up early and shortly after eight o'clock I was trundling in to Worcester. My first mission of the day was to drop the chainsaw off for a long overdue service. This was soon done and by five past nine I was back at The Pile.

While I had been out Hayden had turned up with his mate Ollie and were preparing to lay bricks. I took an order for two cups of tea and disappeared in to the warmth of the house. It was bloody freezing out there. As I made their tea, I chatted with 30% and urged her out of her pyjamas …

… and in to some clothes so we could head out and complete our other Saturday morning chores.

Our first stop was Stratford and, if I am honest, we had a fairly unpleasant hour walking around the market and visiting Rachel in Jaeger. The weather was so chilly that, as soon as one stopped to take in a market stall display or browse in a shop window, a biting cold ate in to one's bones and discouraged any lingering. Walking was just about bearable but my coat and sweatshirt were inadequate to fight off the cold when we stopped.

It was a relief when we decided that enough was enough and headed over to Redditch to whiz around the supermarket and collect our dry cleaning.

These chores consumed the morning and, after the restorative powers of a bacon sandwich, I headed around the Three Miler with the dogs. I then needed to thaw out again before I collected kindling and logs and set a fire in the lounge.

If I am honest that covers most of the days activities. I hit eBay with a vengeance late in the evening and purchased a few low cost sundries that I need to finish off the bike and then settled in front of the fire for an evening of TV with 30%.

…..oy in the striped pyjamas.

This morning I hit the road early, once again, and shortly after nine o'clock I was collecting my sub-frame and adjusted mudguard from Hitchcocks.

Traffic delayed my arrival at my desk, but shortly after ten I was settled in front of my laptop and soon cleared the days essentials. As lunchtime approached I wandered over to the Enfield and collected spanners, thread lock and torque wrenches. It was a matter of twenty minutes work to have the subframe re-attached and a trial fit of the mudguard was attempted. The fit is definitely better, not perfect, but better and with some persuasion it should now fit. I now need to make a decision on the routing of the rear wiring loom and crack on with it.

If I am honest the afternoon dragged by, but eventually four o'clock arrived and I dialled in to the last call of the week. The purpose of this call was to garner support for a cost benefit analysis which will hopefully give some credibility and management support to a solution we are proposing. The call went incredibly well and we seem to have made a new friend who is keen to help and seems to know a huge amount about the area where we are meddling.

As the day waned I wandered outside and checked on Hayden's progress. We now definitely have the beginnings of a wall and, by Sunday, we are promised that most of it will be completed leaving the steps, the copings and the raised bed left to do. I have to admit that it is rather a shock to see pristine new brickwork marking our boundary rather than the ivy clad landslide that has been there for the ten year term of our ownership and God knows how long before.

This evening we ate early as we needed to be at the Malvern Winter Gardens early for a performance of  The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas. 30%'s parents arrived close to half past six and we were soon headed across the County towards the Malvern ridge. Shortly after seven we had parked and were soon wandering up towards the Winter Gardens. As we entered the building we decided that seven minutes was insufficient for a bar visit and headed straight towards the theatre doors. It was at this point that 30% realised that it was actually a seven o'clock start time and we were actually twenty three minutes late!

We crept in to the theatre where the incredibly unhelpful Usherette informed us that people were sat in our seats and then abandoned us in the aisle. We eventually located some free seats and settled in for the performance. Fortunately we all knew the plot and had only missed the departure of the family from Berlin and their arrival at the concentration camp in Poland.

I have to say that I loved the play and thought the performances of the young leading characters were marvellous … but, and I feel churlish for saying it, the lead actors diction was not good and large chunks of the script were delivered in a rapid, helium garble that had one guessing at what he was actually saying. As I said; I feel a bit of an arse for saying it as he was very young. His performance was credible and he appeared to be word perfect but I do not understand why the Director didn't attempt to get him to slow down a little and speak with greater clarity.

It was a very good play and I would certainly recommend it. A well earned 8/10.

The Enfield looses a little weight.

This morning found me cruising the motorways on the South Western borders of Birmingham as I ferried my rear sub-frame and mudguard to Hitchcocks Motorcycles for examination.

I arrived just before nine o'clock and was received by a pleasant enough chap.  Unfortunately he wasn't dealing with my problem and advised that my contact was busy upstairs cataloguing crank cases and that it would be two to three hours before they would come to any conclusion. I have to say that this did not impress me at all and I pointed out that a) they don't open at a weekend*, b) I should be working and c) had spent a significant amount of money with them and felt that this fell short of the customer service I expected.

I was actually bloody furious that I was put second in line behind a pile of inanimate engine components and, having removed the subframe yesterday, was well aware that a decent mechanic could trial fit my parts in less than 30 minutes. I kept these thoughts to myself and headed home to start work.

Around midday the 'phone rang. It was Hitchcock's, who advised that my sub-frame was the right size but that my mudguard had needed to have it's curvature adjusted to make it fit their test bike. My parts were now ready for collection … It looks like I will now need to find a free hour tomorrow morning too.

My afternoon was taken up by a tedious three hour conference call and by the time I had finished I was desperate to actually achieve something. I settled alongside the Enfield and glared at the breather box assembly. I had been informed that this mechanism was not a standard Royal Enfield fitment and that it would be best if I removed it and blanked or re-routed the various breather pipes.

A happy hour was spent removing this bizarre little canister and I can report that the engine looks a lot less cluttered now it has gone.

Now you see it ...

… now you don't.

---

* I find it incredible that a leisure industry business only opens Monday to Friday, nine 'til five when most of it's clientele are busy working.

Progress?

After several weeks, of what can only be described as faffing about, I finally managed to get pricing released for one of my projects. I think I may have finally worked out  how to keep our Pricer happy as she actually issued the price with a glowing commendation on the delivery of costs and solution information. She also cc'd my Boss.

So work is going reasonably well. I have managed to close off the first phase on one project and got a gold star in the process, but now we turn to the Enfield …

… The supplier of the rear sub-frame and mudguard have finally replied, advising that they can't replicate the fitting issue in their workshop and I now need to remove the sub-frame and mudguard from my bike and take them over to them for examination. They may only be twenty five miles away but they don't open at the weekend.

Fortunately I have a free hour early tomorrow morning but I'm not impressed and am possibly erring towards bloody annoyed.

Hello, I wasn't expecting you today

Fairly early this morning, as I was sat at my desk, the dogs started to bark and there was knocking at the door. I opened it and found Hayden on the doorstep. This was something of a surprise as he was not expected until late on Wednesday when a load of concrete was to be delivered for the wall footings … It transpired that there had been a cancellation at the Ready Mix company and the pour had been brought forward a day.

Now most Builders have a reputation for either being late or not turning up at all. Hayden, so far, is the complete antithesis with milestones being reached earlier than planned. His current forecast is that the majority of the wall should be built by Sunday.

There is not much else to report. The dogs were walked. I pulled together some thoughts on the scope and approach for a new project and I also had a chat with the company that provided the rear subframe and mudguard for the Enfield …

… something is definitely amiss and they are investigating in their workshop with an identical model.

In summary; pretty good customer service all round.

Some Dog Whisperer I turned out to be

In the middle of the day I found a free hour to complete circuit of the three Miler with the dogs.

We are trying to increase T&M's exercise regime to reduce their midriffs and a walk usually helps calm Whiffler down before attending puppy training. As I passed the half way point in the walk, Whiffler disappeared down a farm track. I called him back but got no response. As I reached the junction I could see him gambolling with a young Labrador and its mildly frustrated owner. I apologised, called Whiffler to heel and soon had a firm grasp on his collar. It was at this point that the owner advised that he had been trying to catch his dog for an hour and could not get hold of it … so at least I wasn't to blame for his frustration levels then!

I let the dogs play together in the hope of catching the Labrador but he was canny and wary of a hand reaching out towards him. I changed tactics, offered small treats and knelt in the middle of the road putting Tyson, Marauder and Whiffler back on their leads. Eventually the Lab succumbed to the pack instinct and came in close enough to take a treat from my hand. I grabbed his collar and he was soon back on the leash. I received a terse, possibly slightly embarrassed "Thank You very much" and I went on my way.

This was obviously a case of peaked too early as Whiffler was nothing short of a fucking nightmare at Puppy Training and the Instructor commented that he just didn't seem interested tonight. I had obviously used up my reserves of dog whispering mojo earlier in the day.

The construction of the ramparts between The Pile and the main road meandered forward and Hayden appeared to spend the day mostly pottering.  An order has been made for concrete, but that will not be poured until late on Wednesday, so there was only minimal preparation and lay out  activities that could be  progressed. We said farewell to the mini digger when it was collected this evening, as was the heap of earth that had affectionately been named; the Somme.  All we have now is our mini version of Stone Henge which still looks impressive laid out at the edge of the pavement.

Work was fine. I finally managed to get hold of our Pricer and I just have a few relatively straightforward actions to complete before I can get her busily applying margin or whether the hell it is she needs to do. My other projects are rumbling forward … in fact at a speed analogous to that expected when moving Trilithons  or other megalithic components. It would be nice if we could speed up, but, apparently, that is not the way things are done in these parts.

The Enfield project is progressing … I think! At present I am communicating with a very nice chap called Wayne about why my rear mudguard does not appear to fit. Thus far a couple of illustrated e-mails have been sent and I await definitive guidance on how to secure the front portion of the alloy mudguard.

This is very frustrating as I cannot fit and connect up the rear lights until this issue is resolved …Damn!

Elastictrickery

This morning I finally got around to connecting up the Enfield's battery and performing a test of the electrical systems.

I was reasonably confident about most of the components as I had labelled each side of every electrical connection during the strip down of the bike. Consequently when the loom was reattached I simply needed to ensure that component A was reattached to the connector labelled component A and so forth. However the rear light was a new part and it had arrived with no wiring instructions and featured one fewer wires than the Enfield's rear lighting loom.

Over the past week I had performed a number of circuit tests on the new light unit and was reasonably confident that I had worked out that a) I needed to create an earth wire and b) I had identified which of the wires was the brake light. This morning all I needed to do was create a simple temporary adapter that would allow me to connect the bike's loom to the new light unit.

It was a few minutes work to get everything linked up and I started working my way through the components. I have to report that everything worked and the only minor issue was easily fixed … I had managed to misconnect the front indicators so that it flashed right when signalling left. It was a matter of a few minutes work to rectify this. The test even included the starter motor and ignition circuits and a healthy spark was seen at the plug, once the side stand had been lifted to disable it's cut out switch.

It was a relief to know that the electrics are fine and the next significant task will be to permanently mount the rear mud guard and connect up the rear light and indicators … BUT, first I need some manufacturer support as the one of the frame mounting points does not align with the mudguard fixing point.

The electrical testing, kitchen tidying and provision print services for 30%* took up most of the morning. In the afternoon 30% and I took a wander around the Three Miler and then I returned to the Enfield. TP assisted and a replacement oil feed pipe has now been fitted. The decompressor cable has been correctly routed and adjusted and the brake pipe is now torqued up too.

As the afternoon waned laziness hit and a short snooze was taken on the sofa.

Damn, it's nearly Monday again.

---

* only TP and I have managed to connect to the wireless printer and consequently a regularly on the receiving end of "can you print the document I've just mailed you" requests. She may have worked in telecoms for twenty five years but she is a complete technophobe.

Now we can book our holiday

As the light faded and Saturday evening was celebrated with a glass of wine it was fair to say that both 30% and I were absolutely exhausted.

It had been a busy day and I have to report that the front of the house is starting to look like a cross between Stonehenge and the battlefields of the Somme! Hayden has been here all day digging out the footings for the retaining wall. Yesterday's heap of earth was removed this morning and replaced with an even larger pile of earth and old bricks by the time they knocked off this evening. That pile sits alongside a jumble of foundations stones. These are truly colossal pieces of worked local stone and they have drawn astonished exclamations from passersby. The larger ones are more than a yard in length and 18" in square section. We are hoping that they will look superb when fashioned in to a raised bed at the front of the house.

While the ground works were progressing we went about our day. My first mission was a circuit of the Three Miler with the dogs. On my return I found time for a restorative cup of coffee before 30% and I hit the supermarket. The plan was to drop off some dry cleaning and pick up a few essentials but 30% made the mistake of leaving me in the wine section with the trolley and half a dozen bottles of wine ended up being added to our essentials.

Upon our return to The Pile, lunch was eaten and we then headed over to our Dog Carer of choice to have Whiffler vetted … We first employed Patti's services when we went to Sri Lanka last year. Both T&M had a fantastic time staying with her and we much prefer her approach of caring for dogs in her home rather than having them caged in kennels. However we now have Whiffler and Patti wanted to get the measure of him before committing to having all three of them bouncing around her house. We spent about an hour with Patti and she was soon charmed by Whiffler's juvenile antics. As it says in the title line; we can now book our Summer holiday.

Upon our return I was called outside for a site meeting. Hayden had encountered an enormous tree root in the path of the new wall. It belonged to one of the Yews in our garden and I was required to break out the chain saw to cut through it. This root was truly enormous, being close to the circumference of a man's waist.* The chainsaw made a decent job of cutting through it but the mini digger was still needed to break the final fibres and pull it from the ground.

By the time I was cleaned up and the chainsaw was tucked away it was a toss up between the Enfield's electrics and a glass of Shiraz and nibbles … The wine and dips won.

---

* albeit a man somewhat slimmer than I

The working week draws to a close

Friday included one of my increasingly rare appearances at the local Depot …

… It should come as no surprise that I had expenses to submit and I also needed a haircut. The plan was for 30% and me to spend just the morning in the office and return home at lunch time. I used the time wisely and had managed to grab a few moments with our Pricer's Boss and found a way to deliver pricing for one of my projects without having to wait for production of a solution component. The aforementioned haircut was also completed and shortly after midday we were heading back to The Pile.

I had a relatively leisurely afternoon until my last call of the day at three o'clock. This was a discussion to seek agreement on the interfaces with change control processes on another of my projects. The call went well, although I personally felt it was forty minutes longer than it needed to be, and I ended the week on a high note. This project has been lingering for months if not years and in the past few months I have managed to define it and develop a set of process interfaces that will allow it to be costed, priced and proposed to the customer. This one is definitely going to be referenced in this year's appraisal.

After work 30% and I headed over to Littleton Auctions to preview the lots. We agreed that we will place a couple of commission bids but can find a more productive way to spend our Saturday morning than loitering in the Auction house with a mug of cheap coffee.

Busy, busy, busy

As Wednesday drew to a close I had already realised that Thursday was going to be a very busy day.

I had the minutes from a key meeting to draft and summarise. This was made more complex by the fact that the meeting was quite unstructured.  I would need to be quite creative in my interpretation of the narrative in order to develop a summary and set of actions that would allow our solution to be progressed.

I also had a meeting with a set of SMEs, who I need to engage, to develop a solution outline and high level estimates. They are being lead by an Architect who I can only describe as a complete fucking bitch and, at one point on the call, I came a hairs breadth from pointing out that her approach was erring very close to fucking rude!

In the background I was also trying to locate our Pricer who seemed to have dropped off the radar for most of this week … Her e-mail out of office indicated that she was just away for the morning but I was aware that she was caring for her partner, who was recuperating from an operation, and it became apparent that she wasn't working at all … This was bloody frustrating as I am starting to get harassed to deliver pricing and that aint gonna happen until her ladyship actually decides to pitch up and do some bloody work!

It was fair to say that I was knackered by the time I knocked off and the walk around the Three Miler lead to a hypo that drove me to semi-conciousness on the sofa for an hour after I returned home.

Don't misunderstand; I am quite enjoying work at the moment and feel that I am making great progress but today was busy and exhausting. One would therefore expect that no progress was made on the Enfield but I actually had a short session first thing this morning having woken early. The headlight was connected and fitted and the freshly charged battery was placed in it's holder.

I plan to test the electrical systems at the weekend and I am now just need to temporarily connect the rear light and indicators before I can check out my wiring.

The garden wall project is progressing nicely and Hayden has now managed to remove the old wall, separate out the foundation stones* and cut back the earth bank in preparation for marking out and digging footings. We are delighted with progress but I am not sure how the locals view it as the footpath is currently blocked by a 6' high pile of earth.

I can also report that my new helmet arrived this morning … impressive as it had only been ordered yesterday and doubly impressive as the Shark Evoline 3 is a neat bit of kit that converts from full face to open face at the touch of a button … it also comes in a colour that matches the Enfield!

---

* for re-use as a retaining wall for a raised bed

Goodness, Wednesday already

Today started with another surprise appearance by Hayden; our young builder.

Continuing scaffolding issues at another of his jobs has meant that he has diverted his efforts to The Pile and his day was spent on further site clearance. By the time I popped out for a site inspection late this afternoon, he had demolished the original steps and cleared the approach to the front door for the wider flight that will bring visitors up to the house. He had also started to demolish the old garden wall and has dragged out several fine dressed stones from it's footings. These are some two to three feet in length and about a foot square in section. The plan is to re-use them as a retaining wall for a raised bed at the front of the house in place of the bramble filled patch that currently fills this space. The only minor problem is that they are incredibly heavy and Hayden is going to need a very strong labourer to help him position them.

On the work front the day went well and a couple of projects were nudged forward although nowhere near as fast as I would have liked. My Boss, a colleague and I also appear to have wandered in to a political minefield by proposing a solution that is not seen as the preferred way forward. The fact that it would shore up some failing infrastructure had been ignored by the naysayers but we managed to cross the first hurdle and I will now need to flatten out my fag packet and scrawl some rough numbers.

Late in the afternoon I took a call from my Boss who claimed to have good news. Wary of extreme sarcasm, I proceeded with caution and was delighted when he revealed this years bonus and pay award … I can report that the Builder will get paid and the helmet I ordered yesterday was not a rash purchase.

Away from work, the dogs got walked and I found time to complete another couple of minor jobs on the Enfield. The rear brake light switch has been fitted, the carburettor has been torqued up and the battery is now charged.

I can also report that my tool box now includes a set of Crows Foot spanners … no, I didn't know they were how you torqued up bolts that won't take a socket until a couple of days ago either!

Scratching around for material

As has probably become apparent, my workload has now increased and, as a consequence, there is often very little to report, as it is virtually impossible to summarise projects that are bound by commercial confidentiality … it would also be bloody challenging to make those reports, in any way, interesting.The net result of this situation is that I don't have a lot to say today.

I was asked, at very short notice, to attend a review of a colleague's solution cost model and soon found myself wading in, asking probing questions and making recommendations for commercial approaches and the management of our somewhat obstreperous Pricer. This critique was well received by my Boss* and I ended the day with an email awarding me a Gold Star for coaching … I also got a multi tabbed spreadsheet that I now have to review and recommend revisions for. **

Away from work; the dogs were walked and the Enfield's battery was attached to a trickle charger. My next major task is to test the electrical components and determine the best way to wire up the rear light and indicators … my comfort zone is now far behind me as I delve in to the mysteries of the Enfield's loom and shiny, replacement lighting.

---

* I'm not so sure how my colleague took it, but he is progressing with my recommended course of actions
** This would seem to be a case of Swings & Roundabouts

I thought you were coming on Thursday … or was it Friday?

Today was going to be one of those days. I had plenty to keep me busy and yet another hurdle to be overcome, having been thrown across the path of one of my projects at the end of last week.

The working day actually started on a high.* I was required to attend a call with a team of billing specialists as a precursor to a call scheduled for later in the week. The call was an absolute breeze. We covered all of the material in half of the time allotted and they confirmed that they could now develop their deliverable. The icing on the cake was that there was no need for the follow-up call and I now have a gap in this Wednesday's schedule.

Whilst this call was progressing 30% wandered in to the study and demanded the keys to the garden gate … it appears that our Builder had been let down by Scaffolding Contractors on one of his other jobs and had the day free. The net result is that we ended up with an enormous skip on our drive and the steps leading to our front door were gradually dismantled during the morning.

The working day progressed and eventually I reached the hurdle. I needed to present an overview of the project to a team of anonymous technical experts and plead with them in order to get a solution component developed. The presentation went well and eventually the experts grudgingly allowed me to proceed to the next stage in the process … at this rate the customer will have gone off the idea before we can give them ROM pricing!

In the afternoon I managed to find an hour to take the dogs around the Three Miler with TP. The primary aim of this exercise was to take the edge off Whiffler before this evening's puppy training class but neither 30% nor I could be bothered to attend so I excused ourselves using the medium of an SMS text message.

Skipping puppy training gave me a couple of free hours so I trial fitted the rear mudguard and rear light to the Enfield. It looks marvellous but I will need to spend some time working out the best way to run the wiring loom in order to connect the rear lights and indicators back in to the electrical system.

That may take some time … and some faffing around with a multimeter and a twelve volt battery

---

* absolutely bloody amazing for a Monday

Dad saves dinner

Today started with a drive over to a nearby village to collect TP, who had been out on the town with his mates. The minor flaw with my plan was that I had only ever dropped TP off in the general vicinity of his friend's house. I didn't know exactly which door to knock. Matters were made worse when the little sod wasn't answering his mobile phone,* leaving me sat by the curb with increasing levels of frustration.

I tried to Google the correct address but could not get internet connectivity, so I 'phoned 30% and asked her to search the web on my behalf … it appeared that TP's friends do not have a Directory Listing!  Eventually it dawned on me that TP's friend drove a Seat, possibly a red Seat, so I started to crawl around the estate in search of the vehicle. Eventually I came across a potential candidate and, as I drew up on the drive, I saw a dishevelled TP peer out from a window.

Five minutes later I was heading homeward with TP and another of his drinking buddies who lives close by to The Pile. I took a minor detour via the local feed store to collect chicken food and eventually we arrived back at home.

There was about an hour to go before lunch was served so TP and I headed out around the Three Miler with the dogs.

The afternoon was filled with a variety of jobs including the unloading of the car and a trip to Screwfix. Eventually I settled in front of the TV for an hour as I was knackered. As the afternoon waned I finally got myself in front of the Enfield with an iPad and a screw driver and worked out how to connect the throttle and choke cables to the new Amal carburettor.

Just as I was finishing I heard a plaintive call from the Kitchen. 30% had mistaken a boned breast of lamb for a leg, when routing through the freezer, and her dinner plans were in tatters. She had planned a roast and thawed out some casserole ingredients. I asked for 5 more minutes with the Enfield and asked her to make up a small portion of stuffing and find the kitchen string while she waited for me to finish off.

I then wandered in to the kitchen, spread the stuffing thinly over the inside of the lamb breast, rolled it and tied it up with three lengths of string. This evening we were to be dining on roast, stuffed, breast of lamb. About ninety minutes later I wandered out to carve and my creation looked pretty good. Ten minutes further down the line we were all sat at the table declaring this impromptu menu revision a complete success.

As it says in the title Dad saves dinner.

---

* no mobile 'phone reception

Oops!

This morning I settled in to my eight, thirty call and listened to my colleagues and they reported the trials and tribulations of their latest projects. At some point during the call 30% popped her head around the door of the study and said farewell as she was off in to the office this morning …

… As I patently awaited my turn to give a verbal summary of this week's chaos the telephone rang. I knew my turn would not be for a while so I took the call … it appears that the Range Rover's computer is not to be believed as 30% had run out of diesel when the damned thing was claiming it had a range of 50 miles.

TP was dispatched to run 30% to the local garage for a can of fuel while I checked the manual and had a quick chat with a friendly mechanic to see whether the car's fuel system would need to be primed to get her back up and running. Fortunately the car started and 30% was able to continue her day with minimal inconvenience.

There is not much else to report. A reasonable quantity of work was done, the dogs were walked and funds were transferred to the Brickie, so he can go out and procure materials; hardly the most exciting of days.

I finally got around to topping up the Enfield's fork oil and a brake bleeding kit has been ordered. The new carburettor may well get installed this weekend.

One foot in front of the other

I finally got my act together and massaged a few more handfuls of cure mixture in to the soon-to-be-guanciale. Forgetting this activity for a couple of days doesn't appear to have had any adverse affect and by Sunday it should be hanging from a meat hook, wrapped in a little muslin jacket.

Work went quite well. There is nothing of any great import to report and, again, an hour was found, late in the day, to walk the dogs around the Three Miler…

…  We have noticed, of late, that T&M have put on a few pounds. This is a combination of being spayed, less frequent walks and access to Whiffler's high energy puppy food. Their recent visit to the groomers has shown they have a definite thickening around the middle and 30% has finally agreed that they should be put on a diet. Hopefully increased exercise, no treats* and a calorie controlled diet should have them back to their trim figures by the Summer.

The Enfield project creeps slowly forward but most of the jobs lack massive visual impact. The electrical earth has been connected to a bare point on the frame and tested. Fortunately I appear to have a satisfactory negative earth on both frame and engine. The final drive chain has been fitted, but will need the tension adjusted at some point and I also started the refurbishment of the battery cover lock. This tiny little component has had it's pitted and corroded chrome de-rusted, sanded and treated. A coat of black paint has been applied and it should look good once fitted in the side panel.

It is now just a case of trying to do something every day on the Enfield, no matter how small of insignificant the job may seem … eventually I will run out of things to do and then I can try to fire her up.

---

* Tyson and Whiffler are partial to pieces of apple and these will continue to be offered. Marauder, however, much prefers biscuits and these are definitely off their approved food list.

I forgot it again today too

Todays big news is that our Brickie has contacted us to ask if a start date of 6th March was "OK with us". That is possibly one of the most redundant questions I have ever been asked. We have lived with an eyesore of a wall for more than ten years and to go from quotation to start date in under four weeks is bloody fantastic … We simply cannot wait for him to get started.*

The working day went quite well and I managed to overcome the latest hurdle on one of my projects. 30% and I also managed to find an hour to get out around the Three Miler with the dogs in the late afternoon.

On the bike front I totally failed to change the fork oil, but I did affix the transfer to the panel that conceals the battery and spent a few minutes admiring tinware rather than mechanicals for once.

I then had a "fuck it"moment when I realised that there was no way that an eBay purchased lock would attach this panel to the frame and that a replacement can only be purchased as part of a full lock set …

… it looks like I may have to work some magic with WD40, wet and dry and paint on the corroded original.

---

* and it will be interesting to see how the locals respond to skips, excavation and a partially obscured footpath once work commences.

I forgot to rub cure in to the guanciale

Recently my weeks seem to be quiet at the start and busy at the end and today suggested that this week may well follow this trend.

It is fair to say that I was neither rushed nor overburdened today and actually found time to take a walk around the Three Miler with the dogs. The one call I did have was thirty minutes shorter than expected and I had to to little more than pay attention. My main accomplishment was the completion of a few mandated training courses which did a passable job of filling my afternoon.

Today's most significant event was puppy training, which went reasonably well apart from the solo exercise where Whiffler is supposed to sit, waiting patiently while I retreat up the Village Hall and only stirring when I call him to come back to me … He just does not get it! As soon as this exercise starts he just gets incredibly excited and wants to rush about the hall and see his class mates. The peculiar thing is that there is a similar exercise performed as a group which he does make a fairly reasonable job of.

I suppose we will just have to persevere and practise more at home.

Apparently we must have done something right as today we were awarded our Kennel Club Puppy Foundation Assessment. The cynic in me thinks that the passing criteria is attending more than six sessions without peeing on the floor* … 30% is perhaps more generous in her assessment of his progress.

---

*Whiffler, not me