Packing it in

A few days ago I noticed yet another little job that needed doing.

This is the general theme when you live in a very old house that has had minimal, and generally bodged, maintenance over the preceding forty years.

This little job was the replacement of the downpipe from the gutter that runs around the outhouse at the South Eastern end of the cottage.  It was clear that it had been broken, probably by a lawn mower, several years ago, and "repaired" with heavy duty tape. That repair had failed eons ago and it's rectification had just made it on to my to do list.

First thing this morning I headed in to Redditch and picked up a length of down pipe, a replacement bracket and a bag of ready mixed mortar.

I then spent the rest of the morning removing the damaged down pipe and getting the replacement cut to size and fitted. It should have been a relatively short job, but it was complicated by the fact that the steel screws in the brackets had rusted to the point where they did not want to come out, and I needed to fabricate a fitting to allow me to mortar a 65mm square downpipe in to a 100mm diameter circular drain pipe, whilst avoiding clogging the drainage system ... nothing is ever straightforward here.

The afternoon saw a ride out on the R1250 with Charlie. Our route took in a selection of twisty roads that took us over to Stratford, via Bidford, then out on the Shipston road, before cutting over towards Broadway. From Broadway we rode on to Childswickham, Hinton on the Green and Elmley Castle, before reaching Pershore.  Our return leg took is along the B4084 to Evesham and then back home via a few of the Lenches.*

On our return I had time for a quick drink before I needed to get clean and tidy.

30% had arranged for us to attend a taster menu at Redditch College. We were joined by Mummy Sheila and this evening's International cuisine was Mexican.

I have to say that it wasn't their best offering.  There was plenty of food and it was cooked reasonably well, but I am not a fan of sweetcorn and sweet potato fries and I bloody loathe fresh coriander.** 

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* A cluster of villages and hamlets, each of which is called a Lench e.g. Church Lench, Ab Lench, Sheriffs Lench etc.  I am informed that the name Lench comes from the Old English word "hlenc", which means "hill aside".

** Cilantro

Trellis and Tai Chi

The weather was forecast to be very warm today, so my first duty was the get the dogs walked before the heat of the day.

On my return I grabbed a few tools and my recently assembled trellis and headed up to the orchard. Fitting it was straightforward, once I had managed to shoo away a particularly obstreperous bee. It seemed to think that I was going to attack its hive ... perhaps it knows more than I give it credit for.*

Anyway, back to the trellis. It looks good, but, as suspected, I really do need to make and install another one to benefit the climbers** that are starting to ramble over the sides and roof of Rose Cottage.***

That decision set the agenda for the afternoon. A second section of trellis was constructed and fitted. The stroppy bee made an appearance too, and I did actually don my bee suit to keep the little bugger from stinging me!

Tai Chi has restarted, after the Easter break, so this evening saw me back at the Parish Education Centre. It was a really enjoyable session and I was very surprised at how different I felt afterwards.

I had arrived for the class feeling creaky and lethargic. I left feeling much more lively, after an hour of concentration and coordinated exercise ... If only they could bottle it!

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* At the rate that the colonies are producing honey, I could be harvesting at the beginning of June

** There is a climbing rose and a honeysuckle that were planted there last year. 30% plans to put a Passion Flower in there too.

*** A corrugated iron shed that has settled, at a jaunty angle, in the top corner of the orchard.

It seems that I over ordered

Today started with a trip to the dentist for a small filling. 

It must have been tiny as the dentist informed me that no anaesthetic would be needed.  I can't say I was delighted at this news, but it was painless, and I was out of the chair and on my merry way home in under fifteen minutes.

I arrived home to find 30% deep in conversation with a chap who had come in response to an enquiry about having a solar array fitted to the outbuilding roof.*

The consultation was long and very detailed, possibly an hour longer than we would have liked, but we are definitely keen on moving forward with the installation of panels and a storage battery.  Apparently it is possible to purchase off-peak power and store it in the battery and then sell it back to the grid during peak hours for nearly three times the price! That was obviously a headline claim, but the full range of benefits of home produced electricity make a compelling argument.

Also, I quite like the idea of actually being able to claim that I own a power station.

Having eventually got rid of the solar energy chap, I donned my bee suit and headed up to inspect the hives. Both were doing incredibly well. The supers on each hive were crammed with honey and the bees are in the process of capping off the cells.  I estimate that each hive has about sixty pound of honey stored already.

There are a couple of fields of oil seed rape nearby and the bees are definitely foraging on that. They are also busy in the apple blossom, that is making the orchard look quite beautiful at the moment.

Another super was added to each of the hives and, weather permitting, I wouldn't be surprised if these were filled over the coming week. I should add that one of the colonies was storing so much honey that the queen was running short of space to lay eggs. I had to remove a brood frame of stores and add a frame of foundation in its place. I hope to see that fully drawn out in to comb, and filled with eggs by next week's inspection.

And now to the title of today's Journal entry.

Back in March I ordered some timber for a few projects. The order included roofing laths and these were used as spacer material for the security bars that I have just finished fitting.  I massively overestimated the amount I needed and now have about forty meters of roofing lath sat in the car port. 

When I say I over ordered, I think I may have included sufficient material to make a couple of trellises.  I installed a couple of sections of trellis to the side of Rose Cottage last year, and I have a vague recollection that I ordered sufficient laths to also knock up a couple more sections.

Anyway, after inspecting the bees it was too early to do nothing, but too late to start anything complicated. So I grabbed a tape measure, saw, hammer and nails and assembled a section of trellis.  

It wasn't really on my to do list, but 30% does want to move a Passion Flower vine up to the orchard.

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* An acquaintance had piqued our interest in solar energy when he advised that the sub-optimal panels on his home were yielding a better return than having the financial outlay invested in an interest bearing account.

There and back, twice!

 I was up early and had the R1250 out of the garage before eight o'clock this morning.

The reason for this early start was not a run out to the coast, or any other such pleasurable outing. I needed to get it over to the Motorrad dealership in Cheltenham for them to take a look at the gear change issue. 

It was a boring thirty mile run in rush hour traffic, and most of it was on the motorway. Having dropped off the bike and given yet another run through of the erratic gearbox problem. I headed back home on their courtesy bike. It was a little G 310 R and I can safely say that the M5 was not its natural habitat.  It is a low powered, single cylinder bike more at home whizzing around town with a yoof on board.

Anyway, having soundly thrashed the little 310 R, I arrived back home and spent a frustrating few hours fitting the last of the security bars to the back window of the workshop. Basically the bars were slightly oversized and I was not able to fit them to the exterior of the building.  I did manage to get them installed on the inside of the window, but extra fixing holes were needed in the bars, and I will to install an extra stud in the wall at some point in the future.

We also had on-site entertainment this afternoon as 30% had arranged for a mobile tow bar fitter to come and fit one to the X3.* 

The BMW dealership rang midway through the afternoon and advised that my bike was ready for collection.  They could find no problems with the gearbox and advised that it is as expected for a bike with such a low mileage.  It seems that they think that it will smooth out with a couple of thousand miles on the odometer ... I bloody hope so!

This meant that I had to endure another thirty miles on the little 310 R. It may be small and nimble, but it is bloody noisy and woefully underpowered after riding the 1250 R.**

I didn't hang around at the dealership and was soon back on the M5 for the fourth time today.*** By the time I came off the motorway at the Worcester junction I was heartily fed up with the route. As an alternative I came home via Pershore and Evesham just to add some variation to the journey.

And that pretty much sums up my day. Up and down the bloody motorway ... Twice!

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* We have had no towing capability since the departure of the Defender at the end of March.

** The 310 produces about 34 BHP. The 1250 R delivers 134 BHP once it has been run in.

*** Remember I did this round trip last Tuesday with the car.

A more relaxing day

I did indeed have a more relaxed day today.

The morning was spent dealing with the last couple of batches of honey. It is now bottled, and word seems to have got around, as my local customer base are already making purchases.

The rest of the morning was spent cleaning and tidying up the utility room, having dealt with the 30lb tub of honey.

In the afternoon I took advantage of the fine weather and headed out for a ride on the R1250R.  The mileage is creeping closer to the point at which the first service is due, and I managed to add another sixty miles today.

My route took me over to Bidford-on-Avon and then along Buckle Street, past Honeybourne and on to Weston Subedge.  From there I headed up Saintbury Hill and across to the Five Mile Drive. I then cut off to the right and on in to Stow on the Wold.

From Stow I headed through the Slaughters and on along the A436. I joined the A40 just before Dowdeswell and then continued around the outskirts of Cheltenham. I left Cheltenham on the B4632 and headed up Cleeve Hill and on to Broadway via the pretty village of Winchcombe.

From Broadway it was a quick run home via Evesham and a fuel stop at Alcester.

The Bike is now ready for its gearbox check up at Motorrad in Cheltenham tomorrow.

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* The local name for the Roman road, more properly referred to as Ryknield Street.

I'm taking the day off tomorrow

Saturday was another productive day.

I started relatively early and got a batch of honey in the Bain Marie to liquify.  I also prepared a single jar of set honey,* requested by an acquaintance a few weeks ago.

After getting the honey on the go,  I headed out and made a start on reglazing last pane of the rear workshop window. During this little job I also managed to bottle the first batch of honey and get another batch on to liquify.

Shortly after lunch I had finished the window and got the second batch bottled too. Each batch is about eleven jars (5½ lbs), so that's another eleven pounds ready to sell.

I felt that I had earned a short snooze, so half an hour was spent inspecting the inner surface of my eye lids, before I headed out and mowed the lawns at the front of the house.

At the moment the front lawn is a complete pig to mow as there are several shrubs, the stump of the fallen conifer and several patches of cowslips that need to be mowed around, and definitely not over.

I made an executive decision. The cowslips will be mowed as soon as the flowers die off.** And I'm going to hire a stump grinder.

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* Set honey is challenging to get in to a jar without making a very sticky mess.  Normally I bottle my honey immediately after harvesting and it will naturally set over the following months.  I should also point out that very few people actually want set honey, so I don't tend to keep much, if any, around at the best of times. As I am currently a Honey Reseller; I don't have any jars sat on the shelf long enough to set. I therefore had to carefully spoon set honey in to a jar applying judicious pressure to get it to settle in to the space.

** These lovely little flowers take a good couple of months to set their seed. In previous years I have left them until July to allow this to happen, but this makes a terrible mess of the lawn. In my defence I do leave the ones out on the verge to set their seeds.

Bending is generally the most practical option

Friday started with a run over to Bromsgrove for a checkup at the Dentist.

I'm glad I left plenty of time to get there as the normal road to Aston Fields was closed off and there was the most bizarre diversion in place.  I did what any sensible driver would do and, after being directed totally in the wrong direction, I ignored the signage and used the pigeon parts of my brain to find my way there.

The check up went well, although I do need to return next week for a small filling.

Back at home I returned to this week's priority task; the reglazing of the workshop windows.  Pane #2 was carefully removed, cleaned up and puttied in. It seems so easy to type that, but it actually takes a good hour or two to actually complete.

The afternoon saw me complete a circuit of the Three Miler with the dogs and I also gave the lawns at the rear of the house an overdue cut ... I now have several clumps of grass scattered across my usually neat sward.

I will finish today's Journal entry with a discussion held with 30% at lunch time.

On bending to pick up an item from the floor, I commented that it would be really handy if I had retractable legs. I could then simply retract them and there would be no need for that tiresome bending.

I gave the matter further thought and wondered, "If I had retractable legs, would my torso lower to the floor, or would my feet rise up in to the air?"  

I decided that retracing one's legs would have a Hover Option.  If I retracted my legs in Hover Mode, my feet would rise up in to the air.  In standard Retract Mode, my torso would lower to the ground.

30% then posited, "If you had Hover Mode you would never walk anywhere".

I advised of the potential dangers of Hover Mode, pointing out that If I had used it during Storm Darragh I could have been blow several miles away, and possibly been caught high in the branches of a tree.

That sounds like a terrifying scenario to me!

Busy, but not exciting

There's not a huge amount to report for today.

I kept myself occupied for most of the day, but I was only really focussed on a couple of activities. These consumed a fair amount of my day, hence "not a lot to report".

The day started with a quick run down to the surgery for blood tests.

I was back before ten o'clock, and put the first batch of honey in a water bath to liquify it. Whilst it gradually softened, I put a batch of jars through the dishwasher.

I then headed outside to the workshop and started job #2.  One of the workshop windows was broken a while ago and I fitted a piece of perspex as a temporary fix. As I will shortly be fitting the last set of security bars, I needed to reglaze the window properly.

While the jars were being washed, and the honey was melting, I removed the perspex panel and cleaned out the rebate ready for the new pane of glass.

This took me through until lunch time, and, conveniently, the first batch of honey was ready to pour in to jars. I then got another batch of honey in to the Bain Marie, and headed back out to the workshop.

The new window pane was puttied in place and I decided that the other two panes really needed to be reglazed too.*  That could wait until tomorrow though ... I don't find glazing windows particularly exciting!

I got the second batch of honey bottled and 30% made an appearance after a day out with Mummy Sheila. She advised that she had found some attractively priced garden edging in Alcester, so we headed off to collect it. 

The garden edging was a bargain at £1 per length** and I think there will be enough to finish off the bed that sits alongside the larger of the two greenhouses. 

While in Alcester we picked up another tub of putty, so it looks like I'll be carrying on with the reglazing of the workshop window tomorrow ... Oh Joy!

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* The bodger who fitted them originally had simply held the panes of glass in place with a few tacks. No putty or glazing bars, just glass held with tacks!

** Second hand with quite nice patina ... they will be just the job

Who are you ...

 ... and what the hell have you done with my wife?

The weather was fairly dismal this morning, so after a quick visit to the local surgery and a period of pottering, 30% and I decided to pop over to The Valley in Evesham.

For the uninitiated, The Valley describes itself as a shopping and leisure destination ... That might be a slight exaggeration. It seems to be a strip of retail establishments mostly devoted to outdoor leisure wear. Throw in a couple of coffee shops and a garden centre and that is just about it.

Don't get me wrong, it's fine. It just seems a little odd that there is such a preponderance of outdoor clothing specialists in a single location. Especially when most of the visitors seem to be well in to their sixth or seventh decade and don't look particularly outdoorsy.

Anyway, back to the narrative.  The reason for the visit was that I desperately needed a lightweight, waterproof jacket. 30% had found a rather nice one on the Fatface website and we were going to see if it was as nice as it looked on a perfectly honed model.

We took Hobson, along as he does like an outing, and the entire site is dog friendly. To cut a long and boring story short; the coat was great and I also found a sweatshirt that was on sale too.  My bank balance is now somewhat lighter and my wardrobe is enriched.

We were back home by midday and lunched, before I decided that a short snooze was in order. 

On waking I wandered outside to find a woman that looked very much like my wife busily tidying the garden shed.  I was extremely disturbed by the fact that she seemed to be sorting out items and placing them in to separate containers. My confusion was further compounded by the fact that she then appeared to be labelling the containers to identify the contents.

It was at this point that I politely enquired as to whom she was, and what the hell she had done with my wife!

She looked like 30%. She sounded like 30%, but I'll tell you now, I have never, ever seen my wife produce an organised storage system in her entire life.  Her approach to storage is to cram random shit in to a drawer until it won't close, or until it jams shut!

She managed to persuade me that she was 30%, but I'll be watching closely to see if the mother ship returns and replaces the defective doppelgänger with the original model.

Having had a relatively lazy day, I did finally get busy in the afternoon. 

I took my chainsaw to an old cupboard that was slowly rotting outside the rear of my workshop. It has spent the past couple of decades being used to store plant pots and it is a complete wreck.  The organised version of 30% had stored the plant pots in the shed, so I was able to cut it in to three pieces and cart it up to the orchard. It will be burnt once it dries out.

I also found time to return an empty hive to Pete the Beekeeper; the one used to transport the new colony a couple of weeks ago.  While I was there I picked up another 30 lb tub of honey. So, it looks like I'll be bottling honey tomorrow.

Sorting the car and the veg patch

The veg patch is not looking its best, as a serious amount of weed growth has sprung up since last year's crops were harvested.

I took my first step in rectifying this situation when I sprayed the weeds a couple of weeks ago. Since then I have been waiting for the weeds to wither and the ground conditions to be suitable to get the Rotamatiser out.

Today looked like it could be the perfect day. The weather was forecast to be fine. We had had some rain in the preceding week, and the weeds were yellowing nicely. 

I still remember my first experience with the Rotamatiser and I'm really not sure whether I am looking forward to this job ... I know, let's find a diversion to occupy us for a couple of hours.

The diversion was actually pre-arranged, as we needed to pop over to Cheltenham to drop the 5 Series off for the replacement of its EGR Cooler.  There was an abortive attempt to do this in early February and today was the day it should finally happen.  

As a side note I should add that I was bloody annoyed at the service I received from the BMW dealership and made my views clear in the customer satisfaction survey I submitted. I did receive a few follow up emails from BMW, but the Cotswold BMW Service Manager steadfastly avoided giving me a call about my feedback.*

Right, back to the narrative. 30% and I headed down the M5 in tandem and soon had the 5 Series abandoned in front of the workshop. We then headed back home and I had no excuse. It was time to haul the Rotamatiser from the shed.

Part of me hoped it would fail to start after ten months in the darkness, and it appeared I might be lucky at first. But a quick clean of the spark plug and a couple more depressions of the little rubber carburettor primer bulb had the damned thing grumbling in to life!

I had no choice but to spend an energetic hour wrestling the beast over the top half of the veg patch. It looked much better, but I felt like I had been trying to restrain a large feral pig that desperately wanted to be somewhere else.

Fortunately lunch then intervened and I did my best to ensure I took the full hour.

The second half of the veg patch was equally physical, but I have to admit that a) it looks much better and b) I definitely have a great sense of accomplishment. Let's not ponder too much about c) is the Rotamatiser any easier than hand digging? At least a garden fork doesn't attempt to fight back.

I managed to find time for a recuperative kip, before we headed back to Cheltenham in the late afternoon. The Service Assistant was very apologetic and stressed that the EGR cooler had definitely been replaced on this occasion. She added that a few "goodies" had been left on the passenger seat.

I returned to the car to find that I had been given a rather nice umbrella, a cooler cup and a collapsible boot box.

Do you think they realised how pissed off I had been?

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* I wonder why?

Lazy Day

The weather was not great today and gave me the perfect excuse to do very little at all.

I wandered a short way down the road with the dogs and spent a good while in front of the computer bringing The Journal up to date.

We also popped over to see Dot and Buzzer to thank them for looking after the chickens while we were away.  A pleasant couple of hours were spent catching up on each others' news and, of course, flowers and wine were proffered by way of part payment.

The afternoon included a kip on the sofa and minimal tidying 

... I did say it was a lazy day.

Fishing & Bees

Today was our first fishing excursion of 2025.

Bubbles and I had arranged it a few weeks ago and shortly after eight this morning we headed over to the Lower Park Fishery at Beoley.  The lakes had been recommended by a dog walking acquaintance many months ago, and this was our first visit.

After a couple of hiccups* we eventually got ourselves set up on the bank of the Abbey Pool and fishing commenced. I am absolutely delighted to say that I caught the first three fish, starting with a small Carp and followed up with a couple of Skimmer Bream.

Bubbles eventually got with the programme and reeled in a couple of Tench, but poor Ben struggled; possibly because he insisted on using sweetcorn as bait rather than the traditional maggots.

I fished through until the early afternoon, but then had to pack up and head back home ... I really needed to get the two colonies inspected.

On arrival at home I was surprised to see TP's car on the drive. It transpired that he had met up with friends in Worcester last night and had decided to make an unscheduled visit to see us the dogs!

The weather was perfect for the inspection and I soon had my smoker lit and the various beekeeping bits and bobs assembled.

The first task was to move the newer colony from Pete's hive to one of mine. The first stage was to remove the supers and these were checked for stored honey.  They had some stores, but nothing to get too excited about. I then removed the queen excluder and carefully lifted Pete's brood box and floor off my hive stand. The new floor and brood box were installed and levelled up, before I started to carefully transfer the frames across from one to the other.

I soon found the queen so was reassured that she had been successfully moved to her new residence. I continued to add the remaining frames, checking each one to ensure that there were no queen cells ... none were found. It was then a moment's work to replace the queen excluder, supers, crown board and roof and leave the colony in peace.

I then turned to the colony that was established and installed last year.  All that was needed was a check on their stores and  a run through the brood box to ensure there were no signs of swarming.  I lifted the roof and crown board and was amazed at what I found. Even without removing any of the frames from the super I could see that they were packed with honey and the bees had even started to cap off the cells.**

The second, lower super was even better and I was surprised at how different the two colonies are. I suppose that the newer colony has only been here about ten days, and should catch up in the coming weeks. 

I then moved on to check the brood box and all was well in there. I found the queen and could see no signs of swarming. I may need to add another super next week, depending on how good the weather is.

After a busy week on the boat and a day of fishing and bees, one might expect a lazy evening in front of the television, but we actually went out for a bite to eat with Bubbs & Bobbyn at the Four Alls at Welford-on-Avon.

A good time was had by all, but it certainly wasn't a late one!

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* It wasn't particularly well signposted from the Redditch approach and Bubbles and Ben had both ignored my instruction to bring cash for the machine that issues the day fishing permit.

** This is a sure sign that the nectar has been converted to honey and has had the moisture content sufficiently reduced.

The Caldon Canal

15th April, Day 1: Festival Park Marina to Milton

After a final whizz around at home, clothes and groceries* were stuffed in to bags and piled up in the hall. The dogs were loaded in to the car and we headed over to Redditch and dropped them off with Kate; the dog sitter.

We then headed back home, reloaded the car with our holiday trappings and headed over to Worcester to collect B&H. We soon had their stuff loaded in to the boot,** and were heading up the M5 towards Stoke-on-Trent.

We arrived shortly after midday and lunched in a pub overlooking the Marina, before checking in and collecting the boat; Ellie. 

The boat demonstration was kept to a minimum as I have had a fair bit of experience handling narrow boats over the years.*** I asked out demonstrator; Steve about a suitable route for our four night trip and he suggested that we might try the Caldon Canal. He warned that it might be a little shallow in places and also suggested that we cruise as far as Bridge 18 before mooring for the night ... this would ensure we had left some of the less salubrious areas of Stoke behind.

Midway through the afternoon we set off from the Marina and within four hundred yards we left the Trent & Mersey Canal and joined the Caldon Canal.  

All seemed to be going well, although I noted that the canal did seem to be quite narrow and winding.  We assumed that things would be less meandering as we left the city behind.  Our first few hours of cruising included a pair of staircase locks and the excitement of operating a lift bridge that dropped barriers across the road and halted traffic while we passed by.  When Steve described this it sounded quite complicated and seemed like we would be halting traffic on a major A road.  It was, in fact, a quiet road on an industrial estate and quite simple to operate. We did enjoy the momentary power of stopping cars while we chugged past the lift bridge at two miles per hour.

The evening included a couple of drinks at The Foxley Hotel, where a couple of local lads**** suggested that we try the Milton Chippy for our evening meal.

B and I headed up to the chippy and were received like long lost family. After a very friendly reception we wandered back to the boat and stuffed ourselves with fish and chips.

Here endeth the first entry in the log of the vessel Ellie and her foolhardy crew.

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* There was a lot of booze!

** There was a lot more booze!

*** I used to be a boat handler/demonstrator for Cleaver Marine a their Evesham base when I was in my late teens. We also used to own a 58' narrow boat for a few years from 2004. This was moored on the River Soar and was used for mid-week access visits when TP still lived with his mum. Then there have also been the occasional holidays on boats over the years too.

**** Estate Agent Ollie deserves a special mention as, at the age of 22, he already has a signature car crash which seems to climax with an expensive high powered saloon car ending up on its roof ... we don't think he will make old bones!

16th April, Day 2: Milton to Lock 16, Oakmeadowford Lock

On Wednesday we left Stoke behind and started to pass through the Staffordshire countryside.  It was quite beautiful, although the weather wasn't playing ball.  The morning was very wet, with a cold wind, and there was one point where B & I moored up and came in to the cabin to thaw out.

The rain eventually slowed and we continued cruising under cold leaden skies.  

Yesterday we noted how the Stoke stretches of the Caldon Canal seemed quite narrow and twisty.  I can confirm that the navigation did not improve and there were many sections of the cut where two boats couldn't pass.* We also noted that many of the bridges and locks were on tight bends making for some challenging manoeuvring** to get the boat through with minimal scraping.

We also noted some rather poor etiquette from some of the private boats. This included mooring on tight turns and constricted sections, and also some very aggressive shouting from a chap who felt that we were passing his boat at too high a speed.  Ellie's engine was barely above tick over at the time. We did point this out and were rewarded with a threat of a hospital visit by Mr Angry.

Over the course of the day B & I created a whole back story for Mr Angry which involved a late night of internet porn and the fact that he was the last King of the Caldon Canal. He has a trident of power, wears a crown of duckweed and has two Canada Geese as guards ... Basically the man was a complete bell end.

We continued cruising through the fine countryside and moored just before the Oakmeadowford lock.

Our evening was spent attempting to reduce the amount of alcohol that we had brought with us ... we did quite well on this task.

Here endeth the second log entry of the vessel Ellie and her exploration of the wilds of Staffordshire. Note that some of the natives are hostile.

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* Remember a narrow boat is only 6' 10" wide

** A narrow boat can be reversed, but it goes where it bloody well likes ... they have no steering going backwards.

17th April, Day 3: Lock 16 on to the Froghall tunnel and back to Denford

Thursday was as fine as yesterday was horrible.  The morning was warm and sunny, and we were on our way shortly after eight this morning.  Within a couple of minutes we had rounded yet another bend and passed through lock 16 on to the River Churnet.

The plan was to cruise on and moor in the vicinity of the Froghall tunnel. We had been alerted to the presence of Hetty's Tea Shop and it was suggested as a splendid place to have breakfast.

It was a lovely run on to Froghall and we arrived a little after ten o'clock.  We were lucky to see another narrow boat turning on the only winding hole* large enough to accommodate Ellie.**  I say "lucky" as there was no signage to indicate that it was a winding hole. It was actually little more than a v shaped indentation of the canal in to the hillside and not very obvious.

At this point I have to say that the canal gods were on my side and I absolutely smashed getting Ellie turned around and facing back towards Stoke.  We then moved her clear of the winding hole and moored her alongside the tow path.

It was then a short walk in the sunshine to Hetty's Tea Room. There we chose a table in the morning sun and breakfasted on splendid breakfast baps. Further supplies*** were taken on board and we took a moment to appreciate that we had reached the furthest point on this monumental journey of exploration.

We had completed seventeen miles and passed through seventeen locks. We had endured wind chill of -2 ℃, passed more Canada Geese than they actually have in Canada and also managed to enrage the King of the Caldon Canal. 

I think it fair to say that there is the making of one hell of a sea shanty about this voyage ... or at least a half decent folk song!

Our return journey continued in the fine sunshine and we moored for the being just past the Hazlehurst Aqueduct in Denford.  This evening the crew revolted**** and refused to enter the galley. As a result we dined at a lovely little pub called the Hollybush Inn.

Here endeth the third log entry of the narrowboat Ellie. 

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* A point in the canal network where the navigation broadens to allow a boat to be turned around. You will be a familiar with a three point turn in a car.  It can easily be a seven or nine point turn in a narrow boat ... with no steering in reverse and very little spare room to manoeuvre!

** Ellie is sixty two feet in length

*** A slice of coffee and walnut cake and three blueberry and lemon scones, with jam and clotted cream. Note: It is important to keep an accurate record of the ship's inventory.

**** B&I had already established that the crew are revolting!

18th April, Day 4: Denford back to Stoke

Friday's weather forecast did not look good, so B&I donned oilskins and sou'westers and bravely endured a fine drizzle on the rear deck.

The plan for today was to return to Ellie's home mooring in Stoke by nightfall, so we were ready to leave bright and early on Saturday.

At this point I should mention that B&I decided that Ellie should be renamed the Lady Margaret Thatcher.* Over the past few days we had noticed that there were moments when she just refused to turn. After a process of elimination and checks we realised that it was when she encountered the shallower stretches of the canal. 

The shallow water was still sufficiently deep to allow her to cruise, but created enough drag that she would be very reluctant to respond to movements of the tiller.  There were a number of occasions when we needed to thrust her in to reverse to avoid bumping the bank and to have another attempt at a turn. 

There were also a couple of points when she did run aground and needed to be pushed in to the middle of the cut using the pole.

Back to our homeward leg. The trip from Denford back to Stoke was a little under ten miles and we eventually moored up a little after six in the evening.  We did feel the need to stop once more in the fine hamlet of Milton and sample the grog** at the Millrace Inn.

We gathered our thoughts on our journey of exploration and B commented that if he had attempted to navigate the Caldon canal with just support from H, as a first solo outing, he would never step aboard another narrowboat ever!***

I will say that it is definitely the most challenging section of canal I have ever travelled.

With that thought I will end the fourth log entry of the narrowboat The Lady Margaret Thatcher.

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* For any reader under the age of fifty, Thatcher was famous for her "This Lady's not for turning" quote.

** For medicinal purposes and to keep out the chill.

*** B loves messing around in boats and really fancies holidaying with H on a narrowboat. The past couple of trips have allowed him to get some experience and develop his boat handling skills. We now jokingly assess his skill level as Barely Adequate, or possible Remedial.

19th April, Day 5: Stoke back to Worcestershire

We were up early and soon had our kit packed and piled in the back of the car. An all you can eat breakfast was consumed at the nearby Toby Inn before returning to the hire company and completing the checking out procedures. As we chatted to the Reception staff we started to explore the canal holiday options available to us and the Llangollen canal seems to be a possibility.

We Also chatted to Steve about the challenges of navigating the Caldon Canal and he commented that "if you can do the Caldon Canal, you can do any of them!"  ... Cheers Steve! It would have been nice if you had told us that it was a little tricky before sending us off.

I am a reasonably experienced boat handler and, whilst I did really enjoy the trip, There were very few moments when one could relax and chill. You needed to be focused and concentrating for much of the trip.

The car journey back home was uneventful, and, after unloading, we headed over to Redditch to pick up the dogs.

We then had a very lazy afternoon which included a lengthy kip.

Here endeth the final log entry of the narrowboat Ellie.

Post Script

Next year's trip may well be to the Llangollen canal ... everyone seems very keen.

Preparing for our mini break

It is the day before we leave for our short Spring break with B&H.

There is plenty to achieve before we head off up to Stoke for yet another holiday in Britain's Industrial heartlands.* 

Buzzer and Dot came over to dinner yesterday evening. This was in part payment for, and to allow instruction in, the minimal care our chickens will need over the next five days. 

Today we need to work our way through all the other must do jobs,

The day started with a trip over to the BMW dealer in Worcester, as we had noticed that the X3 engine stop/start mechanism** doesn't seem to be operative.

On our return I headed out to the workshop, gathered tools, and, with minimal assistance from 30%, fitted the security bars to the rear of the store room.  I now have just one more set to fit, but need to replace a pane of glass first ... that can wait until we return.

The car was ready for collection shortly after lunch, so back to Worcester we went. It seems that everything is working properly, but the technician was a little evasive when 30% asked if he had actually experienced the stop/start mechanism working.  We think that the battery is no longer working at peak efficiency, hence the internal systems are minimising preventing the stop/start usage to maximise battery life.

Back at home I dragged the lawn mower from the shed and whizzed around the lawns at the front of the house. We then continued in a gardening vein and finally got some seeds planted. These are going in a little later than last year, but I am hopeful that the plants will catch up as the weather warms.

We now have French and Runner Beans out in the greenhouse, along with a couple of melons and some cucumbers. The Utility Room is now home to several seed trays with tomatoes (Alicante, Marinade and Sweet Aperitif), Savoy Cabbage, Cauliflowers, Celery and Celeriac.

The one thing I didn't get to do was to inspect my original colony of bees. They should be inspected every seven or eight days, but the weather wasn't particularly good, and I didn't want to risk chilling the young brood.  

I will now spend the next week hoping that the damned things aren't preparing to swam.

---

* It may seem odd to many, but the industrial sections of the canals are as fascinating as the more popular rural stretches.  We had a fantastic time around the outskirts of Wolverhampton last year.

** The irritating thing that cuts out at each and every junction. I'm actually quite happy that it doesn't cut out, but the car is under warranty, so we may as well have someone look at it.

Catching up

 A couple of weeks ago I was pinged by Gary. Gary was the one and only person I managed to form any sort of friendship with during the eight months I worked at DXC. I've already covered my opinion of my final months of employment, so feel free to refer back if you want a brief summary of how not to manage a virtual team.

Anyway, back to Gary's ping. Gary is a very keen rifle shooter and his Gun Club was having a friends and family day today. He wondered if I fancied a trip up to Derbyshire to come and shoot his latest acquisitions.

"It would be nice to catch up with Gary," I thought, so I found myself heading North on the M42/A42 at about nine o'clock this morning.

It was lovely to meet up with Gary and everything he said made me realise that I had made the right decision and retire back at the end of March last year.  Gary feels much the same way, and plans to make his exit next year ... unless some fuckwit really annoys him somewhat earlier!

As for the shooting, that's an interesting question. Gary has a keen interest in historic rifles and I tried out a WW1 German rifle and a Mosin from the second world war.  These rifles have iron sights and it is a real challenge to get a decent grouping on the target at a range of fifty meters, especially with my crappy eyesight.

The final gun to be tested was a modern combat rifle with telescopic sights. These are incredibly accurate and even I could manage a very respectable grouping around the bull's eye.

The interesting this is that these rifles have been developed for just one thing, killing people and I'm really not sure how I feel about them. It is impressive how rifles have been developed over the years, But I am conscious that this is just another way of saying that it is now far easier to kill with them.

I know that I have shotguns and they can be deadly, but they were designed to put food on the table, not invade a neighbouring country.

What I can report is that shooting at a rifle range is not for me. With enough cash and time one can buy a modern rifle with sights and get it perfectly set up. One can then hit the centre of the target repeatedly with little chance of a miss.* 

I must confess that I would get bored quite quickly, and much prefer the challenge and variation provided by a moving clay target.

But it was still lovely to catch up with a mate from work.

---

* I accept that over longer distances it becomes more challenging

Not that sort of hive

This morning started with a visit from our friendly neighbourhood heating engineer; Will.

We bumped in to Will at a Land Rover meet at the beginning of March, and happened to mention that we wanted to get rid of our dreadful Drayton Digistat and upgrade to the flexibility and control provided by a Hive thermostat. "I can do that for you" Will replied, and he turned up at eight o'clock sharp and spent the next couple of hours fitting the components and giving me a whistle stop tour of the Hive app and its capabilities.

It is fair to say that I am impressed by the functionality compared to the crappy thermostat it has replaced. It will take me a while to familiarise myself with the app, but I have a strong suspicion that it will reduce our oil consumption, and make the house warmer too ... watch this space.

I headed out around the Three Miler after Will's departure, and then whizzed  over to Bubbles place of work, as he had kindly agreed to fit a new tyre on the 5 Series.  Having fitted the tyre free gratis, Bubbs even gave me a hand to give the car a quick wash, courtesy of the car valeting facilities at our friendly local Volkswagen dealership.

On my return I mowed the lawns at the back of the house and re-puttied the window at the back of the store room.

It is fair to say that it had been quite a busy day and, after feeding dogs and shutting up chickens I slumped on the sofa with a rather good pizza.*

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* 30% was at the cinema this evening, so I was home alone ... and really couldn't be bothered to do anything other than cook a pre-prepared pizza.

That doesn't sound right.

This morning I was out for my constitutional earlier than normal. 

The reason for this is that my dear wife had volunteered my time without consulting me first. I don't really mind, as the job is for Mummy Sheila, and she is a dear friend. I just wish that she had asked me first so that I had got an accurate view of the actual task.

My current understanding ranged from, "she wants a stump cutting down to ground level in her garden" to "what she really wants is the entire stump removing".  When I asked about the size of the stump I was rewarded with vague gestures that indicated that it could be anything from a small twig to a two hundred year old oak.

Should I take a chainsaw, or a pair of secateurs ... fuck knows?

Before heading over to Sheila's I donned my bee suit and lit my smoker. Pete had commented that the new colony was huge and that I really should add another super before we headed off to Stoke.* I therefore whizzed up to the orchard and gave the new colony a little more space. I'll give them a proper inspection when we come back from our mini break.

Now, where was I? Oh yes, stump removal for Sheila.  I threw a few tools in the back of the car and headed down in to the village. Sheila was the perfect host and made me a coffee while I assessed the job. It was a Cherry Laurel stump about fourteen inches high and about four or five inches in diameter.  It was about fifteen minutes work with a spade and axe to loosen the stump and it was soon pulled free from the border.

The timing was perfect as my coffee was now at drinking temperature, so I sat in the sun and caught up on Sheila's news ... incidentally, I am now "Shiela's Hero"

This afternoon I headed out on my bike for a ride and did not enjoy it. The traffic was horrendous and I am not wholly convinced about the R1250R's gearbox.  The gear changes can range from slick, silent changes to horrendous graunching, grinding, clunking changes that make me wince. It has got to the point where I am constantly waiting for a horrible gear change and constantly assessing how I am riding the bike, rather than enjoying it. 

I have never had a bike with such an intermittently rough gear box. I really cannot work out what the problem is, although I do know it is better if I change gear at higher revs ... The problem is that the bike is still being run in and should not be over revved. 

I got home frustrated and got on the phone to Motorrad immediately. It is booked in for them to take a look on 28th April.

So that is a run through of Friday's events. I did also manage to fit my replacement intercom in to my helmet and get it paired to my phone. I can now try a test of the BMW Connected Ride Satellite Navigation app, provided I can put up with the god-awful gearbox!

---

* I haven't got around to mentioning that we are off the Stoke on Trent next Tuesday for a few days on a narrow boat with B&H.  We originally planned to pick up the boat from a much closer Stoke ... Stoke Prior, but lock closures meant that we couldn't really go anywhere. 30% used her powers of persuasion to get the hire company to change our booking and we are now able to explore the canals around the other Stoke.

More Bees

I was out of the door quite early this morning as I had yet another appointment at the Ophthalmologist's.

For once I was seen promptly, and even more surprising was the candour of the delightful young lady that carried out the various tests. She was absolutely flabbergasted at the number of appointments I have had. I pointed out that their automated booking systems keeps notifying me that I need to make an appointment and here I am ... AGAIN!  

She reviewed my case history, cancelled my next appointment,* and told me to ignore any appointment requests until the late Summer, as I do not need to be seen for another six months. 

Back at home I managed to get a few minutes of 30%'s time and got another set of window bars secured to the second of the store room window frames. 30% was off to spend the day with the coven, but I only needed her assistance to get the first couple of screws in. She disappeared shortly afterwards and I fitted the remaining spacers and screws at my leisure.

I then headed out for my daily walk with the dogs.

I had planned to go out for a ride on my bike this afternoon, but really didn't feel up to a couple of hours in the saddle. I therefore decided that an afternoon of gentle pottering was a better idea.

My new honey box was stocked and returned to its place on my little roadside stall. I refitted the celotex panels in the garage roof and then cleaned out the putty from the window frame at the rear of the store room. I plan to get that re-puttied and the security bars installed at some point over the weekend.

So that should have been it for today.  30% and I were settled in front of the television when we heard a ring from the front door bell. It was Pete the Beekeeper. He had decided that this evening was the perfect time to deliver the colony of bees that he promised a couple of days ago.

We soon had them sited up in the orchard and spent the next half hour discussing how well the colonies seemed to be doing this Spring. He once again refused payment for the colony, or the two nucs that he gave me in the Autumn and instead advised that "I owe him a favour".

I'm more than happy to oblige, and I am sure that I will come away slightly better informed about bees and beekeeping.

---

* A duplicate of today's appointment

Time for a haircut

This morning started with a run over to Stratford with Whiffler and Hobson.

We have reached that point in the month when they serve as models at the dog grooming school. For the princely sum of twenty quid they are bathed and groomed by one of the student groomers. We understand that grooming a Standard Poodle is the final exercise in the dog grooming curriculum. They are a large dog and the cut is complex, so it is the final, pre-graduation exercise.

They usually come back looking pretty good, although there have been a couple of occasions where I have had to grab scissors and clippers to finish off a half arsed job.

Anyway, I got the dogs dropped off and then headed out around the Three Miler with The Rat.  She seemed to enjoy being walked on her own, as Hobson does have a tendency to play rather roughly ... whether The Rat wants to, or not!

The afternoon saw me standing on a step ladder applying putty to the window frame at the North ish end of the store room. I then made a start on fitting the security bars.  I got as far as fitting the top spacer batten and temporarily removing a downpipe , which will make the installation far more straightforward.

The early evening saw me head up to the Parish Education Centre for the final Tai Chi session before a two week Easter break.  I really am enjoying Tai Chi, but parts of it leave me totally wrong footed.

---

Post Script

I suppose, for the sake of completeness, I should mention that 30% collected W&H and they looked absolutely splendid. Clearly groomed by someone graduating with Honours.

Billy Elliot the musical

No surprise that my morning got underway with a walk around the Three Mile with the dogs.

I returned to find that 30% had made a start on emptying a small log store that sits beneath one of the store room windows.  The log store needs to be moved so that I can get access to the window frame, replace the missing putty and install the next set of security bars.

I assisted with clearing the log store and spent the remainder of the morning stacking the logs on the log pile in the car port and the final few were carted up to Rose Cottage.

After lunch I carried out this week's inspection of my colony and was delighted with what I found. I lifted the crown board from the super and found the hive crammed with bees. On checking a few frames in the super, I could see that they were already being filling with nectar, and I would estimate that the bees had half filled it in the past week.

In the brood box I found the centre six frames filled with brood and I also caught sign of the queen wandering across the comb.  I couldn't have hoped for a colony in a better state and their temperament is unbelievably calm.* I gently reassembled the hive and added an extra super on top ... with all that brood they will certainly soon need the space.

After finishing my inspection, I returned to the old log store and decided that it wasn't worth saving. I then had an internal debate about whether it was worth careful deconstruction and saving of the timber. Fortunately good sense won and it was smashed apart and sacrificed to the fire gods up in the orchard.

The rest of the afternoon was spent clearing the cracked and crumbling putty from the store room window frame now it is accessible.

This evening saw a visit to No.8, Pershore to see a screening of the film of Billy Elliot the musical. I was interested to note that the female members of the audience outnumbered the men by a factor of 10:1. As for the screening, it was absolutely amazing. Obviously the story is the same as the film, but I found that the political and social turmoil of the miner's strike seemed to be given greater emphasis in the musical version.  The actor playing Billy; Elliott Hanna was very believable and showed incredible stamina for a performance that was close to three hours.

It was an amazing show and I would definitely recommend a viewing.

---

* Colony temperament can vary wildly and I have had some evil tempered colonies in the past. Ones where the entire colony is out of the hive and stinging you as soon as the crown board has been lifted, despite copious quantities of smoke.

Getting on with stuff

At the moment I am tending to get the dogs walked early, so that the rest of the day is free to do what ever is needed, or for leisure pursuits.

However a text alerted us to the fact that a dozen bottles of 2020 Governo* would be arriving some time between ten and eleven o'clock, so dog walking was delayed. 

I whiled away the time by fitting another set of bars to the front window of the store room. I amazed myself by managing to complete this task without destroying the flower bed that sits beneath the window. I have now finished the front of the outbuildings and only have three more windows to go. Unfortunately there is reglazing and putty replacement to be completed, so it will not be plain sailing.

Next I got my bike booked in for a service on the 22nd of May and clarified that I need to have a minimum of 450 miles completed. That should be no problem as I am already close to three hundred and fine weather is forecast for the week ahead.

A walk around the Three Miler filled the remainder of the morning and a short nap followed lunch.

The strong breezes that have accompanied the recent fine weather finally abated today, so I seized the chance and got the veg patch sprayed with its annual treatment of Roundup.

We continued in the gardening vein with a trip to the local Nursery to pick up this year's vegetable seeds. Our purchases included Parsnips, Celeriac, Leeks, Runner Beans, French Beans, Celery and Cucumbers ... it'll be interesting to see how many of these are harvested.

On the way home we popped in to see Pete the Beekeeper for a chat. I also arranged to take another 30lb tub of honey from him and he advised that he has another colony for me. I think I'll be picking that up at some point early next week.

---

* We first discovered this beautiful Italian red at the Blenheim Palace Game Fair last year. And now have a few cases tucked away.

beekeeper Pete

24 hour rolling news.

 It doesn't take a rocket scientist to work out that Sunday was going to be a quiet one.

I was up at a reasonable hour, as the chickens needed to be fed and let out.  I then drank several cups of coffee before making a tentative attempt at tidying up the house.

It is fair to say that the tidy up took most of the morning, but by the time we had finished the house looked presentable and my dinner suit* was back in the wardrobe along with its cummerbund and braces.

A kip was required after lunch before I headed out with Hobson for a constitutional around the Three Miler. 

It was during this walk that I regretted the fact that 30% had published a short account of the Honey Box Theft on Facebook. Her post had received a lot of reaction, and many comments in support of our little stall, basically decrying the morons who stole it.

Unfortunately every person I met offered their sympathies and requested the details of the event. I swear I had the same conversation three times in the space of thirty minutes!

It's a good job there's a lot going on in the World at the moment, or we'd have a BBC News Crew camped out on the village green getting Vox pops from the dog walkers.

---

* It originally belonged to my father. He had it tailored by Hepworth's in Evesham back, I assume, in the late 50's or early 60's. It is a beautiful suit with a narrow satin collar. I believe it is referred to as a shawl collar. Anyway, by the early 1980's there was no way my father would ever fit in to the suit again, so I acquired it and it has served me well ever since. The joke is that I was, shall we say, successful with the ladies whenever I wore it ... I am now banned from wearing it unless I am in the company of my good lady.

The Murder Mystery

Today is 30%'s birthday.

TP has arranged a Murder Mystery party for this evening and much of the detail and invitees have been kept secret from 30%, so it is very much a semi-surprise party.

I was out of the house early this morning, as I was shooting with Bubbles and Ben at the Cotswold Shooting Ground at Childswickham.  The shoot started really well and my score card was looking quite reasonable until we shot the last couple of stands. They were incredibly challenging and my score suffered badly. I ended up with 46/80 ... at least I got over 50%.

Back at home I caught up with the Birthday Girl, who was hosting visitors ... Mummy Sheila and Mr & Mrs Tweedy.  Coffee was consumed and news was exchanged.  Mr T was an absolute star and, having given me some LED strip lights a couple of weeks ago, he handed over a set of connectors that he had specially ordered to make their installation straightforward ... he is wasted on his god-awful wife!

In the afternoon I walked the dogs before returning and helping with the preparations for the party.

The Murder Mystery was loosely themed on a 1920's house party and I played the part of Bebop Badoo; a jazz pianist with a gambling problem. 30% played his wife, Booboo Badoo; a Jazz singer and songwriter.

The whole evening was incredibly funny and everyone made a huge effort to get dressed up as required by their character. The star of the evening was TP's friend Matt M. He was playing the part of the Butler and went to collect the pizza order from the Deliveroo driver, staying in character the entire time ... The Deliveroo driver was not impressed!

It was a very late evening, but 30% absolutely loved it. She has claimed that it is one of her best birthdays ever. Hats off to TP for organising and hosting the event. He did a super job and we are both very proud of him ... he even baked a birthday cake.

A pleasant day and Morons

Friday's main event was to be a ride out with Bubbles.

We both had a couple of things to take care of in the morning, so the loose plan was to meet up mid morning at the cottage.  

As an aside, I really must find a better way of describing our home. The term the cottage just seems a little odd. Our last house down in the village was lovingly referred to as The Pile. This was because it was most definitely crumbling when we bought it, and much of my free time was spent restoring it. Things haven't changed much in our new place, so perhaps I need to refer to it as Pile #2, or the last post ... because I'm not bloody moving again!

Anyway, back to Friday. First mission was a trip in to Redditch to pick up a birthday card for 30% and a tub of putty from the hardware store.  

The sortie was successfully completed and I was back at home before eleven o'clock. 

Bubbles arrived shortly after and we soon headed out on our bikes. Our route was very similar to the loop I took with Buzzer a couple of weeks ago. The only difference was that we reversed the loop and headed out towards Stratford and on to Shipston-on-Stour before joining the original route at Moreton-in-Marsh.

It was a great ride out and I the R1250R is another eighty miles closer to its first service. This must be completed before the Germany trip in June, so I really do need to a) get some miles on the clock, and b) get the bike booked in to the workshop ... I don't want to be hearing "sorry mate, we can't fit you in for a month"

TP joined us in the afternoon and will be spending the weekend with us.

That would be it for Friday, apart from the fact that some arsehole stole my honey box from outside the house at about eight o'clock this evening. We heard a car pull up outside and thought it was TP coming back early from an evening with his friends. The car pulled away and we thought no more about it.

It was only when I took the dogs out for a late night pee that I noticed that the honey box and contents was nowhere to be seen.

It's fucking annoying because there was very little monetary value to four jars of honey and a couple of quid in change. It's probably kids who think it's an amusing prank. I think it's fucking moronic. What the hell are they going to do with a few jars of honey? They'll probably end up chucked out of the car window a few miles down the road.

Making a start ... again

 The day has finally arrived when I actually managed to continue installing the security bars on the outbuilding windows.

I first started this little job back in September 2024. Actually, scratch that. The windows bars were originally commissioned and delivered back in 2021. They then sat in the car port untouched until last year, when I installed the first set.

I was enthused by this initial installation and soon made a start on the next set of bars. It was at that point that I realised that I would need to install spacers and use much longer screws to enable the bars to be fitted. The reason being that the central decorative bar protrudes back a little, and interferes with the central glazing bar of the windows. The spacers set the security bars 25mm from the frame and give enough room for the decorative central bar.

I therefore needed suitable material for the spacers. I quickly settled on roofing laths. They are the perfect size and are pressure treated ... ideal for the timber clad outbuildings. Unfortunately they are four meters long and I estimated that I needed over seventy meters of laths.*

This meant that I would need to have them delivered and the onset of Winter meant that installing the bars got put on the back burner ... I really do not like working outside in the cold!

Anyway, the weather has improved. I got my shit together and ordered various items of timber, and today I finally had enough time to continue the job.

There was a fair bit of measuring and head scratching to ensure that the bars would be perfectly positioned around the window, and that the timber spacers fitted perfectly. It took about ninety minutes to get the first set of bars installed ... and I am bloody delighted.

They look brilliant AND provide a deterrent to any ne'er-do-well who thinks the outbuildings might yield easy pickings.

By the end of the day I had installed two sets of bars and was ready for a lazy night on the sofa. That wasn't to be, as we had tickets to see Henning Wehn at The Regal in Evesham. It was a very funny evening and Wehn made the ball-ache of parking in Evesham worthwhile.

---

* This may be a slight miscalculation as I seem to have a lot of laths. The alternative scenario is that I may have included enough laths to make a section of trellis ... and forgotten about that mini project.

I'll get to it eventually

 I really do have plans for this week, but life just keeps getting in the way.

What I'd like to be doing is installing the security bars on the windows of the outbuildings, but this project keeps getting put off.*

This morning we were out of the house early as I needed to pop in to the local surgery for a blood test. We then headed in to Worcester as 30% has another consultation with an NHS Neurologist. After another review of 30%'s medical history they are still uncertain what the problem might be, but tests and scans have been scheduled and medication prescribed too.

I suppose we need to be relatively reassured that none of the medics are hitting panic buttons, and to let matters run their course.

The remainder of the morning was taken up with a trip to Bromsgrove to pick up some Layers Pellets and a couple of slabs of shotgun cartridges ... I'm shooting at the weekend.

The afternoon saw nothing other than a wander around the lanes with the dogs. 

Then it was a quick rest before this evening's Tai Chi class. The lesson was the usual mix of concentration and misplaced feet. There are moments when I feel that I am making headway and then it all goes to pot.

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* Actually I'm not sure that I would "like" to be installing the security bars. It is just that they have sat in the car port for about three years and they really need putting up. The more I think about this job the more I realise that it is quite complicated, especially if I am to get them installed to my satisfaction.

Another quiet day

 All Fools Day was far from busy.

I managed a brisk walk around the Three Mile with the idiots* in the morning and mowed the lawns at the front of the house in the afternoon.

That was about it. I did have a slight urge to start installing the security bars on the outbuildings, but there is a bloody cold wind, despite the clear skies and sunshine ...  that can wait until later in the week.

I also realised that I need some cartridges for clay shooting on Saturday.  It's been a good while since I last bought any and they are now very expensive. It looks like I'll be heading out to the gun shop tomorrow.

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* A collective and affectionate term for the dogs. If you saw them leaping around with excitement as I put on my walking boots you would understand how they have earned this appellation.

Stuff

Did my day really start with a walk around the Three Miler with the dogs?

No, not really. My day started at about seven o'clock. I threw on some clothes, filled a watering can with water and headed up to the orchard with the chicken feeder. It is a matter of a few minutes work to ensure that they have food and water. Then I open up their pop hole to give them access to the run. The nest boxes are checked for eggs, and then I return to the house for the first coffee of the day.

That is how my day generally starts.

The coffee is accompanied by a perusal of a couple of news websites, and then perhaps a read before 30% rises and we take breakfast shortly afterwards.

I was back from my walk well before lunch. The day was warm, sunny and the air was still. I had time and perfect weather for a hive inspection.

I grabbed my smoker and a few essentials and headed up to the hive in the orchard.  There were a lot of bees milling around the entrance and I hoped that I hadn't left it too long since the first inspection three weeks ago.  

What I didn't want to find was a colony preparing to swarm. This would be indicated by the presence of Queen cells within the colony and would necessitate a split or shook swarm to manage the situation.

Fortunately the colony is doing really well, but there were no signs of swarming. They had plenty of stores, were bringing in both nectar and pollen and had five frames of brood and eggs at the centre of the hive.

I put a queen excluder on the top of the brood box and put a super above that. The bees now have plenty of space in the hive and will, hopefully start to store nectar up in the super.

The afternoon saw a trip to see a consultant with 30%. I found the visit relatively reassuring and really hope that 30% did too. The next step is for her to have some MRI scans, which will hopefully pinpoint the problem and lead to a treatment plan,

Once back at home, I pulled the lawn mower from the shed and mowed the lawns at the back of the house. I had my phone in my pocket and was amazed to see that I had completed four thousand steps just wandering around the lawns.

It seems that during the month of March I have managed to walk over eighty miles ... no wonder my feet hurt!

Somewhat jet lagged

After only five hours sleep, I was somewhat jaded when I woke and started the day. Fortunately I had been yesterday's designated driver, and had therefore avoided compounding tiredness with a hangover.

After an understandably gentle start to the day I headed out and deglazed the side of the greenhouse. By early afternoon I had managed to replace the damaged panels, assisted periodically by 30%.

I then needed to retire to the sofa for a short siesta.*

After about three quarters of an hour I hauled my sorry arse off the couch and headed out around the Three Miler with Hobson. I think we both felt better for a walk. He certainly seemed to enjoy it.

The day ended with another shared meal. This evening we were joined by Bubbles and Bobbyn for a Chinese meal, courtesy of China Twon.  It was lovely to catch up with them and they were the perfect guests, leaving at a very civilised half past nine.**

Considering how little sleep I had, I am bloody amazed how much I managed to get done today.

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* Well earned, I thought.

** Any later and we would have probably fallen asleep in front of them.

A Late One

Saturday started with an early walk around the lanes with the dogs.

We would be out for a good few hours in the middle of the day, so it seemed only fair to get them exercised and emptied before we went out.

The midday event was a combined Mother's Day/Birthday party hosted by 30%'s brother. I've noted down my views on these get-togethers before, so I'll avoid repeating myself today. It went as well as any nine year old's birthday can go and the cloud did have a silver lining ... The ELF's obnoxious brother* was unable to attend, so that was an unpleasant encounter avoided.

We managed to escape around half past three and headed home. 

We had a few hours to potter before heading out again. This evening we had been invited for dinner with Gizzy and Jules in Tewkesbury. Rosie and Jim were invited too, and we picked them up on our way.

It was a splendid evening filled with laughter, fine food, much leg pulling and catching up with each others' news. 

We eventually got home at about one in the morning and realised that the clocks went forward tonight ... Oh bugger, we are going to be very tired tomorrow!

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* Thick, and I mean REALLY THICK, absolutely no sense of humour and constantly preening and posing ... an absolute fucking tool!

The greenhouse refurbishment continues

Friday was very similar to Thursday.

I started the day with some admin while I waited for the weather to warm a little.  My credit card bill got paid and it seems that I am due a small tax rebate, so that got claimed too.

By mid morning it was pleasant enough outside, windy, but sunny.

I continued with the greenhouse refurbishment and replaced the panels in the back corner. I did consider replacing the broken panels on the long side of the greenhouse today, but realised that I was going to have to remove the glazing from the whole side to accomplish that ... that can wait for another day.

The afternoon saw a snooze on the sofa, a walk with Hobson and a delivery from the Builder's Merchant. I now have roofing laths, a sheet of 18mm ply and four 2 x 4s ... that'll keep me busy for a few days.

I've also noticed that the lawns need mowing too.

I found the day satisfying, some might not

I wouldn't be surprised if the casual reader thought my day was incredibly tedious, but I was actually quite pleased with today's achievements.

It was a chilly start, so I spent the first half hour in the freezer room getting the new freezer levelled, before switching it on.  I then dragged its box up to the orchard and had a brief, but splendid, bonfire.

Next I manhandled a mattress down the stairs and on to the drive. This was in anticipation of a new one being delivered later in the day.

By this time the sun's rays had reached the greenhouse and I continued with my refurbishment. This basically involved removing most of the front of the greenhouse, a section at a time. The issue with replacing the bottom panes/panels is that the three panes above them need to be removed first!

Anyway, the job went reasonably smoothly and a stroke of genius, a spray bottle filled with soapy water, made refitting the panes a whole lot easier.

I finished the front of the greenhouse shortly after lunch and it looks much better. I still have a panel at the rear and the bottom panes of one entire side to do, but that can wait until later in the week.

The afternoon included a walk around the Three Miler with Hobson before I settled for a less strenuous afternoon.

The mattress eventually turned up, and it's box gave me an excuse for yet another brief bonfire in the orchard.

Repair & Restoration

One of yesterday's little jobs was to tidy the outhouse at the South East end of the cottage.  This is referred to, in these parts, as the freezer room for rather obvious reasons.

During the clear out/tidy up I retrieved a rather nice brass reading lamp that had stopped working many years ago. I took it in to the workshop and discovered that it was a simple blown fuse. We now have a rather nice working lamp that is covered with a decades worth of grime, at least!

Our new freezer was delivered this morning* and had to stand for twenty four hours before being switched on. This left me plenty of time this morning to grab the Brasso and clean up the filthy, tarnished lamp. It does look rather splendid now, and we just need a new shade and bulb to finish off the job.

There was a second delivery this morning. The polycarbonate, greenhouse glazing panels have arrived.** And, as the morning warmed up I headed out in to the workshop, grabbed a pair of sawhorses and a few tools and headed over to the greenhouse.

Stage one of my greenhouse restoration was to replace the panels at the bottom of the pair of sliding doors.  I soon had the first door slid out of its track and resting on the pair of sawhorses. Replacing the fibre board panel was actually quite straightforward and I had finished both doors shortly after lunch.

The afternoon saw a brisk walk around the Three Miler with the dogs and I was looking forward to a lazy evening when my phone beeped at me ... Shit! I'd forgotten that I had a Tai Chi class this evening.

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* I was delighted to see that the delivery van was decorated with the obligatory cock and balls scrawled in the grime on the rear door.

** We have a rather nice Robinson Greenhouse in the garden, but after many years it needs a little attention to keep it at its best.  The ground level "panes" are not glass, but panels of a cement fibre board. These have deteriorated over the years and are now brittle and crumbling. What used to be a weather and rodent proof greenhouse now has gaping holes where the fibre board has fallen apart.  I have purchased some 4mm polycarbonate glazing panels and these will be used to fabricate the replacement panels.

Supplies

It seems that Spring has arrived. 

It's amazing how a little warmth, blue skies and longer days encourage one to get busy after a Winter of inactivity.

I am already looking at starting, and in some cases continuing, projects now I can get outside without fear of hypothermia.

This morning we headed in to Redditch for supplies to get a couple of projects moving. 

The first stop was Lidl for groceries and then we headed over to the Builders Merchant just down the road. I needed some roofing laths to continue the installation of the security bars that I started back in September last year. I also ordered a sheet of 18mm ply and a few lengths of 2" x 4". The ply and two by fours will be used to make a potting bench ... this is part of a much bigger plan to tidy up one of the greenhouses and organise the shed ... watch this space.

On the way back home we popped in to an electrical appliance retailer and ordered a new upright freezer. 30% has been keen on a new one for a while. I'm not sure why, but it may be due to the fact that I will be attending a butchery course in the near future. The course covers the butchery of half a pig and we get to keep the course work.

The afternoon saw me take a walk around the Three Miler and get some Torx head screws ordered for the aforementioned security bars.

I also received notification that the polycarbonate glazing sheets for the greenhouse will be arriving tomorrow.

It looks like I am going to be busy.

A quiet day

 The plan for Monday was to do as little as possible.

I felt that I had deserved this after a busy few days selling cars and hosting friends for the weekend.

Apparently this is what a quiet day looks like ... The morning's task was to shift the proceeds from the Defender sale in to various investment and savings accounts.  It took longer than expected, as I do like to check each account to ensure that each transfer has actually been received. They were.

The afternoon saw a brisk walk around the Three Miler with the dogs, and then I wandered up the orchard.

I did think about inspecting my bees, but graciously took on the job of cleaning out the chicken coop. This is normally 30%'s job, as she steadfastly refuses to get up and let them out each morning.

If I've got to get out of bed earlier and earlier as the day length increases, there is no bloody way I am going to clean out the little sods as well!

Here endeth a "quiet day"

It's been a busy few days ...

My aim is to make a Journal entry every day. Some months I achieve this, but I'm not doing very well in March, am I?

My excuse for a lack of input can be discerned from the following paragraphs.  I wouldn't be surprised if you thought these were mediocre, at best, when presented as an excuse for not keeping The Journal up-to-date.

Thursday, 20 March 2025

First job of the day was to sort through the Defender's documentation and provide the interested party with details of its service history. 

An email was sent out into the ether and I headed out around the Three Miler with the dogs.  About half way around my phone rang. It was the interested party. A short conversation followed where I discerned that a) he hadn't checked his spam folder, b) he lived down in Hampshire and c) he seemed very interested.

He said he'd like to see whether he could get up to see the Defender on Friday and committed to calling me later in the day to confirm when he could come and view the car.

The day trundled on and the afternoon saw me meet up with Buzzer for a ride out on our bikes. Our route took had us skirting the outskirts of Evesham and Pershore, before heading out towards Upton-upon-Severn. From Upton we took the A38 towards Tewkesbury, before heading back towards Evesham on the A46.

We peeled off the A46 and headed down the B4077, stopping at Toddington for a coffee. After a break and a chat, we headed up to Stow-on-the-Wold. From Stow we headed out to Morton-in-Marsh. I have to report that the North Cotswolds looked absolutely glorious in the warm Spring sunshine. Rolling hills, honey coloured stone villages, sheep filled pastures. It really is a fine part of the world.

From Moreton we headed back towards Evesham via Bourton-on-the-Hill and Broadway. It was then a short run towards Dunnington, where we parted company and headed towards our respective homes.

30% and I were having an early evening meal, as we were out tonight attending the Comedy Club at Redditch's Palace Theatre.

As I sat down and attempted to take the first forkful, my phone rang. It was the interested party, who advised that he would like to come over tomorrow afternoon to view the Land Rover ... Bloody Hell, I might actually have a buyer!

Friday, 21 March 2025

Friday was slightly less frenetic, but there was a certain sense of anticipation following yesterday's conversations about the Defender.

I walked the dogs in the morning and the chap arrived to see the car shortly after lunch.

After a very brief viewing and a short run around the lanes he decided that he'd like to make an offer. 

His offer was great, but I'm old enough to know that the first offer is just that ... an opening move. I therefore upped his offer by two hundred and fifty quid and stuck out my hand. He paused and then shook my hand. The deal was done.

He advised that he'd like to collect the car on Saturday and I offered to collect him from Evesham station ... after all he had just paid top money for a sixteen year old Land Rover!

We were out again this evening. This time it was to see the Pissed Up Panto, again at The Palace in Redditch.

I saw an adult panto a couple of years ago in Monmouth and thoroughly enjoyed it, but unfortunately I can't say the same about this one. The were a couple of scenes that were reasonably funny, but a lot of it went on far too long, and substituted expletives and on-stage drinking for a well crafted comedy script ... 4/10.

What I should mention was that Thursday's comedy club event was great and we are already thinking about attending the next one in May. 

I should also mention that TP welcomed us back from the Theatre. He will be spending the weekend with us

Saturday, 22 March 2025

Obviously my first mission was to head over to Evesham and pick up the interested party buyer. 

We chatted as we headed towards home and I ascertained that he was a lovely chap with a very well paid job in Finance and Carbon offsets. He definitely fell in to the more money than sense category of car buyer.  

After checking that my bank balance looked far more healthy, I waved the new owner off and wandered back to the house.

There was, however, no opportunity for resting upon laurels of any sort.

We collectively spent the next few hours tidying the house in preparation for what could be loosely described as a college reunion.

30% and I attended that fine educational establishment known in the 1980's as Wolverhampton Polytechnic.  Our circle of poly friends included C & M, and we are incredibly lucky to have maintained the friendship and now also include their long suffering wives. 

C&S rolled up in the early afternoon and, after a cuppa and a chat, I headed out with Hobson, C and S for a wander around the Three Miler.

As we arrived back home it was apparent that M&M had arrived and we all settled for tea and cake and a lot of chat and laughter.

The day continued in that vein with champagne, wine and dinner making an appearance in the evening. We all eventually retired at some point after midnight, having revelled in an evening of 80's vinyl and a very funny game of Cards Against Humanity.

Sunday, 23 March 2025

It will be no surprise that Sunday was definitely a day of rest.

The gang departed after many cups of tea and brunch featuring scrambled eggs, toast, croissants and yet more tea.

The afternoon included a snooze on the sofa and I can report that the drive does look not quite right now the Defender has gone.

A possible buyer?

The day started with a short walk down the lane with the dogs. 

It would have been longer, but I bumped in to John; a rugby player, turned school teacher, turned watercolour artist. He's a fascinating chap and an entertaining conversationalist, so I did an about turn and wandered back to wards home chatting with John.

I then headed in to Alcester to pick up some silicon sealant remover. This relates to one of those little jobs that I have been successfully avoiding for months ... I need to re-seal the shower screen.

30% disappeared out for an extended lunch with Jules, so home alone, I pulled the lawn mower form the shed and mowed the verges at the front and the small area of lawn by the garage.

This effort resulted in a massive hypo, and lunch, followed by a long snooze, was required as a restorative measure.

In the afternoon I completed a circuit of the Three Miler with Hobson before a period of pottering.*

As the afternoon turned to evening I headed down to the lane for Wednesday's Tai Chi session. 30% bailed due to her painful knee, so I was alone attempting the complexities of the Infinite, Stage 4 ... the footwork had me literally tripping over myself at certain points.

So that would be it for Thursday, apart from the fact that we have finally had some interest in the Defender. A message has been received asking for MOT and Service History details.

It looks like I'll have a bit of auto admin to perform tomorrow morning.

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* Any activity that makes me look far busier than I actually am. I can look incredibly busy with a book in my hand!

Catching up ... again!

I've been a bit busier than normal and have got a little behind with The Journal.  This is an attempt to get back up-to-date.

Thursday, 13 March 2025 

The main achievement for Thursday was to finally get the Defender advertised on the Autotrader website. Since I am documenting this nearly a week later, I think it fair to say that I have been deafened by the silence from my phone. I'll give it another week before I consider dropping the price a little ... I was being rather ambitious.

My exercise regimen continues and I managed to complete  a couple of walks today; a short one with all three dogs and then a circuit of the Three Miler with Hobson

The day was rounded off with a trip in to Birmingham to see Now that's what I call a musical at the Alexandra Theatre.

The show was based around pop classics from the early eighties and used a piss poor High School Reunion narrative in an attempt to link them together. It was well performed, but the plot was clumsily constructed.  We had a pleasant enough evening, but I wouldn't recommend it ... watch the original song videos on YouTube instead.

Friday, 14 March 2025

The day started with a trip to B&Q, where I picked up a few essentials for some upcoming electrical work.

Later in the morning I accompanied 30% down to the local surgery.  She has been experiencing some hip and knee pain, which are not improving and it was definitely time to get some professional attention.

The GP was amazingly candid in his approach and freely admitted that he hadn't got a clue. He did however agree that further investigations were needed. He made the necessary referrals and even suggested that a private consultation  would be worthwhile to move things along at pace.

The afternoon saw a further circuit of the Three Miler and then I spent some time in the workshop gathering tools, cables and fittings that will be needed tomorrow.

Saturday, 15 March 2025

I do like a little bit of electrical work and Saturday morning saw me scrabbling around in the roof space of the cottage.

My goal was to replace the tatty spotlights in the bathroom, with something a little more current. The old spots were rusty and their cabling had suffered from rodent damage, so were definitely overdue for replacement.

It wasn't a huge job, but it took a good chunk of the morning to create a simple wiring loom, locate an earth wire and get the light fittings connected and tested.

The afternoon saw me complete another three mile circuit with Hobson and then clean the bathroom ceiling in preparation for painting.

Sunday, 16 March 2025

Sunday's sole achievement was to get two coats of emulsion on the bathroom ceiling.

I don't mind painting but this job was not fun. The room is barely big enough to swing the proverbial cat and is cluttered with immovable sanitary ware.

I therefore spent most of the day wriggling around and climbing over shower screens, lavatory pedestals and basins whilst trying to avoid stray splashes of paint.

We have both agreed that the next room to be decorated will be free of furniture and I might actually be able to get an unobstructed run with the paint roller!

Monday, 17 March 2025

Monday saw me snap the new bathroom lights back in to their cut outs and I was finally able to see the full effect of my efforts.

I'm pleased with the job and it has, sort of, encouraged me consider further decorating ... note that I said "consider" rather than "commit to"!

I also managed a couple of walks with the dogs and we also popped in for afternoon tea with Mummy Sheila.

Tuesday, 18 March 2025

I've been looking at the state of the lawns for a few weeks and have noticed that many of the villagers have already completed their first and, even, second cuts of the year.

Well, today I finally pulled the mower from the shed and completed the first cut of 2025.

They look much tidier and make the place look a little more presentable ... just in time for our upcoming weekend guests.

Crouching tiger eats a biscuit

On yesterday's dog walk I bumped in to Kung Po Fran.* 

We passed the time of day and I enquired about whether she had any vacancies in the exercise classes that she runs in the local Parish Education Centre. She confirmed that she did and, after a later chat with 30%, we had booked ourselves in to attend Fran's Wednesday Tai Chi class.**

Now, back to today. 

First activity was to get the Defender dropped off at the garage in Astwood Bank for its MOT test.

That took very little time and I was soon back at home in the kitchen. We have friends coming to stay on the 22nd and 30% thought it would be nice for me to make them a cake. 

After my success at Christmas I decide to knock up another carrot cake.  The cake took most of the morning and I can report that, short of actually tasting it, it seems to have been a successful bake.***

As the cake was cooling the garage called to confirm that the Defender had passed its MOT and could be collected at any time. This is a relief and the final step before advertising it on Autotrader.

I then headed out with Hobson around the Three Miler. 

On my return there was time for a quick coffee before heading over to collect the car. The garage were amazed by the condition of the vehicle and confirmed that my asking price was spot on ... let's hope potential buyers agree!

There was then time for a quick kip before we headed down the lane for our Tai Chi lesson.

I must admit that I was somewhat apprehensive, as some of the routines and sequences are quite complex and I am, most definitely, not a dancer!

However we both enjoyed ourselves and even remembered certain moves and positions. The one I recall with absolute certainty is the crouching tiger eats a biscuit. ****

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* This is clearly a nickname, developed from my proclivity to confuse and bastardise facts in an attempt to amuse myself

** We are not absolute beginners, as we used to go to Fran's class about five years ago. Our attendance was curtailed for reasons I can't recall, but I do remember how much we enjoyed the physical and mental challenges of this incredibly complex exercise/choreography/martial art class.

*** One might think that it will be stale by 22nd March, but the cake freezes incredibly well. It will be thawed and iced the day before our guests arrive.

**** This is absolutely true. If I remember correctly it is a chocolate hobnob.