Elastictrickery

This morning I finally got around to connecting up the Enfield's battery and performing a test of the electrical systems.

I was reasonably confident about most of the components as I had labelled each side of every electrical connection during the strip down of the bike. Consequently when the loom was reattached I simply needed to ensure that component A was reattached to the connector labelled component A and so forth. However the rear light was a new part and it had arrived with no wiring instructions and featured one fewer wires than the Enfield's rear lighting loom.

Over the past week I had performed a number of circuit tests on the new light unit and was reasonably confident that I had worked out that a) I needed to create an earth wire and b) I had identified which of the wires was the brake light. This morning all I needed to do was create a simple temporary adapter that would allow me to connect the bike's loom to the new light unit.

It was a few minutes work to get everything linked up and I started working my way through the components. I have to report that everything worked and the only minor issue was easily fixed … I had managed to misconnect the front indicators so that it flashed right when signalling left. It was a matter of a few minutes work to rectify this. The test even included the starter motor and ignition circuits and a healthy spark was seen at the plug, once the side stand had been lifted to disable it's cut out switch.

It was a relief to know that the electrics are fine and the next significant task will be to permanently mount the rear mud guard and connect up the rear light and indicators … BUT, first I need some manufacturer support as the one of the frame mounting points does not align with the mudguard fixing point.

The electrical testing, kitchen tidying and provision print services for 30%* took up most of the morning. In the afternoon 30% and I took a wander around the Three Miler and then I returned to the Enfield. TP assisted and a replacement oil feed pipe has now been fitted. The decompressor cable has been correctly routed and adjusted and the brake pipe is now torqued up too.

As the afternoon waned laziness hit and a short snooze was taken on the sofa.

Damn, it's nearly Monday again.

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* only TP and I have managed to connect to the wireless printer and consequently a regularly on the receiving end of "can you print the document I've just mailed you" requests. She may have worked in telecoms for twenty five years but she is a complete technophobe.

Now we can book our holiday

As the light faded and Saturday evening was celebrated with a glass of wine it was fair to say that both 30% and I were absolutely exhausted.

It had been a busy day and I have to report that the front of the house is starting to look like a cross between Stonehenge and the battlefields of the Somme! Hayden has been here all day digging out the footings for the retaining wall. Yesterday's heap of earth was removed this morning and replaced with an even larger pile of earth and old bricks by the time they knocked off this evening. That pile sits alongside a jumble of foundations stones. These are truly colossal pieces of worked local stone and they have drawn astonished exclamations from passersby. The larger ones are more than a yard in length and 18" in square section. We are hoping that they will look superb when fashioned in to a raised bed at the front of the house.

While the ground works were progressing we went about our day. My first mission was a circuit of the Three Miler with the dogs. On my return I found time for a restorative cup of coffee before 30% and I hit the supermarket. The plan was to drop off some dry cleaning and pick up a few essentials but 30% made the mistake of leaving me in the wine section with the trolley and half a dozen bottles of wine ended up being added to our essentials.

Upon our return to The Pile, lunch was eaten and we then headed over to our Dog Carer of choice to have Whiffler vetted … We first employed Patti's services when we went to Sri Lanka last year. Both T&M had a fantastic time staying with her and we much prefer her approach of caring for dogs in her home rather than having them caged in kennels. However we now have Whiffler and Patti wanted to get the measure of him before committing to having all three of them bouncing around her house. We spent about an hour with Patti and she was soon charmed by Whiffler's juvenile antics. As it says in the title line; we can now book our Summer holiday.

Upon our return I was called outside for a site meeting. Hayden had encountered an enormous tree root in the path of the new wall. It belonged to one of the Yews in our garden and I was required to break out the chain saw to cut through it. This root was truly enormous, being close to the circumference of a man's waist.* The chainsaw made a decent job of cutting through it but the mini digger was still needed to break the final fibres and pull it from the ground.

By the time I was cleaned up and the chainsaw was tucked away it was a toss up between the Enfield's electrics and a glass of Shiraz and nibbles … The wine and dips won.

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* albeit a man somewhat slimmer than I

The working week draws to a close

Friday included one of my increasingly rare appearances at the local Depot …

… It should come as no surprise that I had expenses to submit and I also needed a haircut. The plan was for 30% and me to spend just the morning in the office and return home at lunch time. I used the time wisely and had managed to grab a few moments with our Pricer's Boss and found a way to deliver pricing for one of my projects without having to wait for production of a solution component. The aforementioned haircut was also completed and shortly after midday we were heading back to The Pile.

I had a relatively leisurely afternoon until my last call of the day at three o'clock. This was a discussion to seek agreement on the interfaces with change control processes on another of my projects. The call went well, although I personally felt it was forty minutes longer than it needed to be, and I ended the week on a high note. This project has been lingering for months if not years and in the past few months I have managed to define it and develop a set of process interfaces that will allow it to be costed, priced and proposed to the customer. This one is definitely going to be referenced in this year's appraisal.

After work 30% and I headed over to Littleton Auctions to preview the lots. We agreed that we will place a couple of commission bids but can find a more productive way to spend our Saturday morning than loitering in the Auction house with a mug of cheap coffee.

Busy, busy, busy

As Wednesday drew to a close I had already realised that Thursday was going to be a very busy day.

I had the minutes from a key meeting to draft and summarise. This was made more complex by the fact that the meeting was quite unstructured.  I would need to be quite creative in my interpretation of the narrative in order to develop a summary and set of actions that would allow our solution to be progressed.

I also had a meeting with a set of SMEs, who I need to engage, to develop a solution outline and high level estimates. They are being lead by an Architect who I can only describe as a complete fucking bitch and, at one point on the call, I came a hairs breadth from pointing out that her approach was erring very close to fucking rude!

In the background I was also trying to locate our Pricer who seemed to have dropped off the radar for most of this week … Her e-mail out of office indicated that she was just away for the morning but I was aware that she was caring for her partner, who was recuperating from an operation, and it became apparent that she wasn't working at all … This was bloody frustrating as I am starting to get harassed to deliver pricing and that aint gonna happen until her ladyship actually decides to pitch up and do some bloody work!

It was fair to say that I was knackered by the time I knocked off and the walk around the Three Miler lead to a hypo that drove me to semi-conciousness on the sofa for an hour after I returned home.

Don't misunderstand; I am quite enjoying work at the moment and feel that I am making great progress but today was busy and exhausting. One would therefore expect that no progress was made on the Enfield but I actually had a short session first thing this morning having woken early. The headlight was connected and fitted and the freshly charged battery was placed in it's holder.

I plan to test the electrical systems at the weekend and I am now just need to temporarily connect the rear light and indicators before I can check out my wiring.

The garden wall project is progressing nicely and Hayden has now managed to remove the old wall, separate out the foundation stones* and cut back the earth bank in preparation for marking out and digging footings. We are delighted with progress but I am not sure how the locals view it as the footpath is currently blocked by a 6' high pile of earth.

I can also report that my new helmet arrived this morning … impressive as it had only been ordered yesterday and doubly impressive as the Shark Evoline 3 is a neat bit of kit that converts from full face to open face at the touch of a button … it also comes in a colour that matches the Enfield!

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* for re-use as a retaining wall for a raised bed

Goodness, Wednesday already

Today started with another surprise appearance by Hayden; our young builder.

Continuing scaffolding issues at another of his jobs has meant that he has diverted his efforts to The Pile and his day was spent on further site clearance. By the time I popped out for a site inspection late this afternoon, he had demolished the original steps and cleared the approach to the front door for the wider flight that will bring visitors up to the house. He had also started to demolish the old garden wall and has dragged out several fine dressed stones from it's footings. These are some two to three feet in length and about a foot square in section. The plan is to re-use them as a retaining wall for a raised bed at the front of the house in place of the bramble filled patch that currently fills this space. The only minor problem is that they are incredibly heavy and Hayden is going to need a very strong labourer to help him position them.

On the work front the day went well and a couple of projects were nudged forward although nowhere near as fast as I would have liked. My Boss, a colleague and I also appear to have wandered in to a political minefield by proposing a solution that is not seen as the preferred way forward. The fact that it would shore up some failing infrastructure had been ignored by the naysayers but we managed to cross the first hurdle and I will now need to flatten out my fag packet and scrawl some rough numbers.

Late in the afternoon I took a call from my Boss who claimed to have good news. Wary of extreme sarcasm, I proceeded with caution and was delighted when he revealed this years bonus and pay award … I can report that the Builder will get paid and the helmet I ordered yesterday was not a rash purchase.

Away from work, the dogs got walked and I found time to complete another couple of minor jobs on the Enfield. The rear brake light switch has been fitted, the carburettor has been torqued up and the battery is now charged.

I can also report that my tool box now includes a set of Crows Foot spanners … no, I didn't know they were how you torqued up bolts that won't take a socket until a couple of days ago either!

Scratching around for material

As has probably become apparent, my workload has now increased and, as a consequence, there is often very little to report, as it is virtually impossible to summarise projects that are bound by commercial confidentiality … it would also be bloody challenging to make those reports, in any way, interesting.The net result of this situation is that I don't have a lot to say today.

I was asked, at very short notice, to attend a review of a colleague's solution cost model and soon found myself wading in, asking probing questions and making recommendations for commercial approaches and the management of our somewhat obstreperous Pricer. This critique was well received by my Boss* and I ended the day with an email awarding me a Gold Star for coaching … I also got a multi tabbed spreadsheet that I now have to review and recommend revisions for. **

Away from work; the dogs were walked and the Enfield's battery was attached to a trickle charger. My next major task is to test the electrical components and determine the best way to wire up the rear light and indicators … my comfort zone is now far behind me as I delve in to the mysteries of the Enfield's loom and shiny, replacement lighting.

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* I'm not so sure how my colleague took it, but he is progressing with my recommended course of actions
** This would seem to be a case of Swings & Roundabouts

I thought you were coming on Thursday … or was it Friday?

Today was going to be one of those days. I had plenty to keep me busy and yet another hurdle to be overcome, having been thrown across the path of one of my projects at the end of last week.

The working day actually started on a high.* I was required to attend a call with a team of billing specialists as a precursor to a call scheduled for later in the week. The call was an absolute breeze. We covered all of the material in half of the time allotted and they confirmed that they could now develop their deliverable. The icing on the cake was that there was no need for the follow-up call and I now have a gap in this Wednesday's schedule.

Whilst this call was progressing 30% wandered in to the study and demanded the keys to the garden gate … it appears that our Builder had been let down by Scaffolding Contractors on one of his other jobs and had the day free. The net result is that we ended up with an enormous skip on our drive and the steps leading to our front door were gradually dismantled during the morning.

The working day progressed and eventually I reached the hurdle. I needed to present an overview of the project to a team of anonymous technical experts and plead with them in order to get a solution component developed. The presentation went well and eventually the experts grudgingly allowed me to proceed to the next stage in the process … at this rate the customer will have gone off the idea before we can give them ROM pricing!

In the afternoon I managed to find an hour to take the dogs around the Three Miler with TP. The primary aim of this exercise was to take the edge off Whiffler before this evening's puppy training class but neither 30% nor I could be bothered to attend so I excused ourselves using the medium of an SMS text message.

Skipping puppy training gave me a couple of free hours so I trial fitted the rear mudguard and rear light to the Enfield. It looks marvellous but I will need to spend some time working out the best way to run the wiring loom in order to connect the rear lights and indicators back in to the electrical system.

That may take some time … and some faffing around with a multimeter and a twelve volt battery

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* absolutely bloody amazing for a Monday

Dad saves dinner

Today started with a drive over to a nearby village to collect TP, who had been out on the town with his mates. The minor flaw with my plan was that I had only ever dropped TP off in the general vicinity of his friend's house. I didn't know exactly which door to knock. Matters were made worse when the little sod wasn't answering his mobile phone,* leaving me sat by the curb with increasing levels of frustration.

I tried to Google the correct address but could not get internet connectivity, so I 'phoned 30% and asked her to search the web on my behalf … it appeared that TP's friends do not have a Directory Listing!  Eventually it dawned on me that TP's friend drove a Seat, possibly a red Seat, so I started to crawl around the estate in search of the vehicle. Eventually I came across a potential candidate and, as I drew up on the drive, I saw a dishevelled TP peer out from a window.

Five minutes later I was heading homeward with TP and another of his drinking buddies who lives close by to The Pile. I took a minor detour via the local feed store to collect chicken food and eventually we arrived back at home.

There was about an hour to go before lunch was served so TP and I headed out around the Three Miler with the dogs.

The afternoon was filled with a variety of jobs including the unloading of the car and a trip to Screwfix. Eventually I settled in front of the TV for an hour as I was knackered. As the afternoon waned I finally got myself in front of the Enfield with an iPad and a screw driver and worked out how to connect the throttle and choke cables to the new Amal carburettor.

Just as I was finishing I heard a plaintive call from the Kitchen. 30% had mistaken a boned breast of lamb for a leg, when routing through the freezer, and her dinner plans were in tatters. She had planned a roast and thawed out some casserole ingredients. I asked for 5 more minutes with the Enfield and asked her to make up a small portion of stuffing and find the kitchen string while she waited for me to finish off.

I then wandered in to the kitchen, spread the stuffing thinly over the inside of the lamb breast, rolled it and tied it up with three lengths of string. This evening we were to be dining on roast, stuffed, breast of lamb. About ninety minutes later I wandered out to carve and my creation looked pretty good. Ten minutes further down the line we were all sat at the table declaring this impromptu menu revision a complete success.

As it says in the title Dad saves dinner.

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* no mobile 'phone reception

Oops!

This morning I settled in to my eight, thirty call and listened to my colleagues and they reported the trials and tribulations of their latest projects. At some point during the call 30% popped her head around the door of the study and said farewell as she was off in to the office this morning …

… As I patently awaited my turn to give a verbal summary of this week's chaos the telephone rang. I knew my turn would not be for a while so I took the call … it appears that the Range Rover's computer is not to be believed as 30% had run out of diesel when the damned thing was claiming it had a range of 50 miles.

TP was dispatched to run 30% to the local garage for a can of fuel while I checked the manual and had a quick chat with a friendly mechanic to see whether the car's fuel system would need to be primed to get her back up and running. Fortunately the car started and 30% was able to continue her day with minimal inconvenience.

There is not much else to report. A reasonable quantity of work was done, the dogs were walked and funds were transferred to the Brickie, so he can go out and procure materials; hardly the most exciting of days.

I finally got around to topping up the Enfield's fork oil and a brake bleeding kit has been ordered. The new carburettor may well get installed this weekend.

One foot in front of the other

I finally got my act together and massaged a few more handfuls of cure mixture in to the soon-to-be-guanciale. Forgetting this activity for a couple of days doesn't appear to have had any adverse affect and by Sunday it should be hanging from a meat hook, wrapped in a little muslin jacket.

Work went quite well. There is nothing of any great import to report and, again, an hour was found, late in the day, to walk the dogs around the Three Miler…

…  We have noticed, of late, that T&M have put on a few pounds. This is a combination of being spayed, less frequent walks and access to Whiffler's high energy puppy food. Their recent visit to the groomers has shown they have a definite thickening around the middle and 30% has finally agreed that they should be put on a diet. Hopefully increased exercise, no treats* and a calorie controlled diet should have them back to their trim figures by the Summer.

The Enfield project creeps slowly forward but most of the jobs lack massive visual impact. The electrical earth has been connected to a bare point on the frame and tested. Fortunately I appear to have a satisfactory negative earth on both frame and engine. The final drive chain has been fitted, but will need the tension adjusted at some point and I also started the refurbishment of the battery cover lock. This tiny little component has had it's pitted and corroded chrome de-rusted, sanded and treated. A coat of black paint has been applied and it should look good once fitted in the side panel.

It is now just a case of trying to do something every day on the Enfield, no matter how small of insignificant the job may seem … eventually I will run out of things to do and then I can try to fire her up.

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* Tyson and Whiffler are partial to pieces of apple and these will continue to be offered. Marauder, however, much prefers biscuits and these are definitely off their approved food list.

I forgot it again today too

Todays big news is that our Brickie has contacted us to ask if a start date of 6th March was "OK with us". That is possibly one of the most redundant questions I have ever been asked. We have lived with an eyesore of a wall for more than ten years and to go from quotation to start date in under four weeks is bloody fantastic … We simply cannot wait for him to get started.*

The working day went quite well and I managed to overcome the latest hurdle on one of my projects. 30% and I also managed to find an hour to get out around the Three Miler with the dogs in the late afternoon.

On the bike front I totally failed to change the fork oil, but I did affix the transfer to the panel that conceals the battery and spent a few minutes admiring tinware rather than mechanicals for once.

I then had a "fuck it"moment when I realised that there was no way that an eBay purchased lock would attach this panel to the frame and that a replacement can only be purchased as part of a full lock set …

… it looks like I may have to work some magic with WD40, wet and dry and paint on the corroded original.

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* and it will be interesting to see how the locals respond to skips, excavation and a partially obscured footpath once work commences.

I forgot to rub cure in to the guanciale

Recently my weeks seem to be quiet at the start and busy at the end and today suggested that this week may well follow this trend.

It is fair to say that I was neither rushed nor overburdened today and actually found time to take a walk around the Three Miler with the dogs. The one call I did have was thirty minutes shorter than expected and I had to to little more than pay attention. My main accomplishment was the completion of a few mandated training courses which did a passable job of filling my afternoon.

Today's most significant event was puppy training, which went reasonably well apart from the solo exercise where Whiffler is supposed to sit, waiting patiently while I retreat up the Village Hall and only stirring when I call him to come back to me … He just does not get it! As soon as this exercise starts he just gets incredibly excited and wants to rush about the hall and see his class mates. The peculiar thing is that there is a similar exercise performed as a group which he does make a fairly reasonable job of.

I suppose we will just have to persevere and practise more at home.

Apparently we must have done something right as today we were awarded our Kennel Club Puppy Foundation Assessment. The cynic in me thinks that the passing criteria is attending more than six sessions without peeing on the floor* … 30% is perhaps more generous in her assessment of his progress.

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*Whiffler, not me

A lazy Sunday

I had considered walking the dogs on Sunday morning, but the rain had started before I had finished my breakfast so I redrew my plans. 

I wandered over to the Enfield and spent a few minutes fitting the front brake pipe before realisation dawned that I had a considerable quantity of pork in the fridge that needed my attention.*

The morning was therefore spent removing the cheeks from the head and starting a cure of guanciale. The trotters and other odds and ends were placed in the jam kettle with stock vegetables and seasoning and simmered for a few hours to give us a few litres of pork stock. By the time I had cleared up and also made up another batch of cure, so I would be able to finish the guanciale, it was time for lunch.

As pancakes had not been cooked on Shrove Tuesday, TP and I were recruited to prepare an American Brunch. TP made the batter and kept an eye on the rashers of bacon being grilled while I made a batch of short stack pancakes. It will come as no surprise that lunch was bacon, a short stack and maple syrup.

In the afternoon the rain continue to fall and I must admit that I retired to the embrace of the sofa where I snored for an hour or more. Upon waking I felt that I really ought to do something, so I settled in front of the Enfield and connected up the speedometer cable. I now need to re-fill the forks with oil before I can finish the connection and routing of cables through the casquette.

That means yet another parts order .. this time for copper washers.

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* Kathy H-R had phoned on Saturday to invite us to her birthday party and also to ask if we would like a pig's head and trotters. We said "yes" to both and a large plastic bag greeted us when we arrived home from our trip to Evesham yesterday.

I now own a kazoo

This morning 30% and I had a few errands to complete.

Our first stop was Alcester where 30% paid a visit to her long absent Audi. The damned thing has been in the workshop for a good couple of weeks, if not more, while they try to locate an electrical fault that results in a constant check engine light. They are progressing component by component and reassured 30% that the labour bill was not enormous … yet.

I, on the other hand, went next door to the Motorcycle dealer from whom I purchased the Shitter. I needed a new brake light switch and wandered in on the off-chance that they might have one kicking around. The Proprietor was keen to hear how I was getting on and actually provided me with a switch spring free of charge. I wandered out a happy man.

We then headed down the road and popped in to the meat wholesaler and Builder's Merchants; a product catalogue and a few choice cuts were chucked in the back of the car.

Our next stop was Evesham where I was treated to a tour of Lidl before we visited the Picture Framers to collect a print of some ratting terriers and the cleaned C18 painting of a Hunter. The oil painting has cleaned up beautifully and we now face quite a difficult decision … do we restore further or frame as is.   We now have  the name of a local picture restorer and probably need to take it to him for an assessment and advice.

These errands consumed the morning and it was time for lunch upon our return. 30% and I then headed out around the Three Miler with Tyson, Marauder and Whiffler. We had a lovely, if muddy, walk and an obligatory dog washing session was completed upon our return to The Pile.

A fairly lazy afternoon followed. although I managed to recruit some assistance from 30% and finally assembled the Enfield's rear brake lever mechanism. This is a complicated assembly of rods, spindles, levers, bushes and pedals due to the fact that this model is at the point where Enfield realised that market share might improve if they went with the gear change on the left and the brake on the right like every other new motorcycle on the planet.  Consequently this convoluted mechanism is required to connect a pedal on the right with a brake drum on the left hand side of the rear wheel.

Dinner was taken very early this evening as 30% and I were out for one of her Christmas gifts. I had managed to acquire front row seats for a performance of the I'm sorry I haven't a clue tour at Cheltenham, so by half past six we were thundering down the motorway towards this Gloucestershire Spa town.

I have driven past the racecourse many times before but this was the first time I had ever visited it. As a venue for a comedy performance it can be summed up as follows; The auditorium is perfectly adequate but it is connected to a complete and utter cluster fuck of a foyer. It was badly laid out with refreshments stalls squeezed either side of the entrance to the toilets. This created a chaotic jumble of people who were trying to offload or take on fluids. Basically the Organisers didn't seem to have put any thought in to crowd management which surprised us in view of the thousands that visit during Gold Cup Week.

My mutterings about the foyer were soon put aside as we took our seats and settled to watch Messrs Dee, Sell, Garden, Cryer, Hardy and Brooke-Taylor perform their ridiculous antics. It was a brilliant evening filled with laugh out loud moments including one where Tim Brooke-Taylor was twerking at me …

… You probably had to be there.

Sometimes I wonder about my son

Today TP and I were in the kitchen and he was grazing. After checking the fruit bowl for grapes, he scanned the shelves for cashews or pistachios before selecting a storage jar of shelled peanuts.

"Dad, what sort of nuts are these?" he asked. I pointed out that these were the nuts 30% put out for the birds and he looked at me with an expression that suggested he thought I was taking the piss.*

He opened the jar and tipped a few nuts in to his hand and laughed as I repeated that he was about to eat bird food. I called to 30%, who was in the lounge, and it was only when her dulcet tones** reached us and confirmed my statement that TP returned the peanuts to the jar.

Apparently he has been snacking on them for the past few days and a blackbirds, three starlings and a robin are preparing their case for retributions.

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* I do so frequently … I see it as preparation for when I release him back in to the wild.
** Think fishwife!

Hmmm! I seem to be working for a living

There is not a lot to see here as I was head down all day.

When I say all day, what I actually mean is that I was head down until about half past three. By this time I had run out of steam* and spent the remainder of the working day listing and planning what I needed to complete tomorrow.

30% was out this evening at the wedding reception of a frolleague. I was invited, but had more sense than to schlep miles in the rain, on a school night, to spend a few hours with my work mates.** 30% had Jules for company so I stayed at home and prepared a supper of Haggis and Mash for TP and me.

I suppose I should provide a status report on the Enfield too. Nothing major has been competed over the past week but the odd job has been attended to when I have had a few minutes spare. The right handlebar grip, switches and clutch lever re all now fixed in place and the bulk of the wiring loom has now been reconnected, including the front indicators. I now have the correct parts for the rear brake assembly and a trial fit this evening showed that the brake rod will need some tweaking … and possibly brute force … to get it all back together.

The weekend is fast approaching so perhaps it will get done then. I am also conscious that March is almost here and I would love to have her back on the road by the Spring.

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* I learnt many years ago that I am a morning person. The hours from seven until noon are when I am at my most productive and that is when I try to schedule my more complicated or arduous work. Don't get me wrong; I will shovel shit at any time, but it just seems that bit easier before the sun reaches it's zenith.
** Attempting to stab "nibbles" from a paper plate with a plastic fork whilst holding single glass of wine … I don't think so

Picture Post

After slacking off yesterday afternoon,  I was definitely back in the saddle and was head down all day.

As a consequence there is very little to report, other than the fact that we have accepted our Builder's quotation and will soon be choosing bricks, coping stones and paving.

I am now definitely back in the swing of things and am actually enjoying having plenty of work such that the end of the working day is suddenly there, rather than waiting for it to crawl up to meet me.

While working today I looked at my calendar and realised that it is only six weeks until our first holiday of 2015.  We have a week booked in a cottage at Pwll Du on The Gower and, with that in mind, I thought I would add a splash of colour to the Journal and publish a couple of photographs that were taken there in April 2013.

Towards Three Cliffs Bay, April 2013

Who is feeding that bloody squirrel apricots?

Out to lunch

Back in December last year I received an abusive Christmas Card from Grandad Jack. I did what was expected of me and promptly called him and abused him back …

… the upshot of this exchange of insults was that we agreed to meet up for lunch as soon as he, and the current Mrs Hawkins, returned from their Winter Cruise of the Atlantic and Caribbean.

Well, that nautical adventure had obviously been concluded as Grandad Jack called last Saturday and today was earmarked for "lunch".

We had a lovely time catching up on each others news over a bite to eat at one of the local pubs. It was a bloody good job that I had a quiet afternoon as, even though I showed restraint and only had two small glasses of red, I was not particularly productive this afternoon.

Future outings were loosely discussed, including one with Judge Dread if he can be coaxed up from the South Coast.

A busy start to the week

Little of any significance happened on Sunday and it is a matter of a sentence or two to summarise it's passing ...

… The dogs were walked in the morning and the afternoon saw a trip in to Redditch to visit Stevie and the Elf in their new home. The Redditch trip involved a minor detour to the supermarket and  we discovered the joys of their car wash while you shop service. For the princely sum of ten English Pounds my memory has been jogged and I can now report that the Range Rover is, in fact, silver rather than shite brown! The only other thing of any great importance was a rather lengthy snooze on the sofa before dinner.

Today I was up bright and early and I hit the laptop very soon after seven. I cleared down my in-box and planned the day's varied activities and deliverables. I also checked my diary and ensured that the first half of the morning was free. The reason for this frenzy of activity was that I wanted to head over to Hitchcocks Motorcycles to sort out a few braking components that were slowing progress on the Enfield … that is an interesting concept; a lack of braking components slowing progress?

Fortunately the cosmic tumblers once again clicked in to place and I found myself wandering in to Hitchcocks' showroom shortly after nine o'clock. The issue with the rear brake spindle shaft was soon resolved, a few other items were added to my box of goodies and I was soon heading home … Unfortunately I managed to get caught in a huge jam resulting from an accident and I arrived home nearly an hour later than I had planned.

Fortunately my absence had not been noticed and I settled to what turned out to be a very productive day. Requirements were clarified and documented, a meeting was attended and minuted, my appraisal form was signed and returned to my Boss and a rather complex process was followed to request the development of a solution element. By the time I finished my day I was rather impressed by my productivity, if I say so myself.

This evening saw the weekly trip to puppy training and Whiffler's performance was marginally improved although I have the feeling that I may well be tempting fate by saying so. He is still far more interested in the rest of the class than me and it is only chunks of cheddar that manage to persuade him to perform the exercises. A packed class meant that the hour passed quickly and it seemed that we were soon on our way back home.

The only other news was that the Builder's quote has arrived and is more than we had hoped but less than expected so we are likely to be engaging his services in the next day or so.

Putting on the brakes

This morning was taken up with a trip in to Alcester and included a wander around the supermarket, the discovery of a rather nice Gentlemen's outfitter, and the purchase of a number of stuffed toys to entertain Whiffler. We also checked out a rather fine, but grubby, antique bed frame at one of the Antique shops as we have a loose plan to turn the Purple Bedroom in to, well, a bedroom. The frame was lovely but there was some damage to one of the legs and it was impossible to see the extent or whether repair was feasible …no sale.

In the afternoon I finally settled down with the Enfield and did my best to avoid fitting the loom. I planned to install the front brake lever and brake master cylinder but soon discovered a problem. The master cylinder needed to be drained … One of the cover's screws was removed without a problem, but the second was an absolute pig and appeared to have been manufactured from the cheapest steel on the planet. The head was soon knackered so it was time to get Medieval on it.

I cut a new slot in the screw head with a mini grinding disk but it still failed to budge. At this point I checked out a replacement part and learned that the failure of a twenty pence component had the potential to cost me more than one hundred and thirty quid for a replacement master cylinder. I finally overcame this obstacle by carefully drilling out the head of the screw with my pillar drill.* It finally came free and I was rewarded with a dousing in very manky brake fluid.

After cleaning everything up I could progress no further as a replacement screw would need to be purchased along with a new diaphragm, so the front brake reassembly was put on hold. I then settled to the rear brake assembly.

I had trial fitted a number of the major components of this sub-assembly so was reasonably confident that it would go back together. However, as soon as I attempted to screw in the grease nipples I realised that something wasn't right. After a thorough inspection it was apparent that I had either been sent the wrong part or that the machining of the part had not been completed. Either way this activity was going no further and a trip to Hitchcocks needed to be planned for next week. Arse!

This left me with no option but to wrestle with the grubby spaghetti of the Enfield's loom. I decided to break myself in gently by separating and installing the coil as a first task. Then I suddenly found my auto electrical mojo and it all started coming together. My library of photographs taken during the disassembly was an absolute boon and I soon had the main loom elements loosely attached to the frame.

By the time I finished for the day I had got most of the loom laid out in it's original position and a good few of it's connectors had been reconnected to their partners. There is still much to be done and I am sure that several sessions with a multi meter will follow in the next few days or weeks.

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*The shaft of the machine screw was removed with the aid of mole grips