Longing for warmer weather

The past couple of days have been inconsequential.

Stuff has been done, but not a lot of it. I suppose this may be symptomatic of my Winter frame of mind. I seem to be thinking and planning rather than actually doing and achieving.

I am enjoying my time reading and making loose plans, but I'm really longing for warmer days. I see lots of things that need to be done, but it is just too wet or too cold to get out there and get things done.

The garden is starting to demand attention and, as the weather warms, I have a motorcycle to become familiar with.

For the moment I am doing my best to gain some sense of achievement by bottling the honey Pete dropped off a couple of days ago. Twenty pounds of it now sit in little hexagonal jars and my roadside stall is now re-stocked.

I did spend some time in  the garage with my recently acquired phone cradle for the R 1250 R.  I now understand how it is fitted to the bike and my phone and the BMW app have been successfully paired with the BMW too. Once back in the warm, I have started to familiarise myself with the satellite navigation functions.

I now need some warm weather and dry roads to see how well the sat nav performs and how secure the cradle really is ... I don't want to be retrieving fragments of my Samsung from the roadside.

A busier day

 After a short walk with the dogs, 30% decided that we should head over to the auction house and pick up the wood turning lathe.

The trailer was hitched up to the Defender and we were soon off down the road towards Littleton.  Cash was exchanged and we then discovered that the lathe was a lot heavier than expected. 

I was confident that we could load and unload it, but my main concern was that it had a cast iron bed and was very top heavy. It is fair to say that I took a lot of care roping it to the trailer and we didn't exceed thirty five miles an hour on our return journey. 

Every bump, manhole and pot hole was approached with care, but the lathe wobbled alarmingly at each one encountered.  It was fair to say that we were both relieved to arrive home with our cargo intact.

I have decided that having a Land Rover and Trailer encourage me to collect items that should really be delivered by professionals!

So that was the morning covered and by lunchtime our stress levels had returned to somewhere near normal. 

Pete the Beekeeper called in shortly after lunch with a tub of honey. He stopped for a chat and were pleased to hear he is feeling much improved after a recent heath issue. Like all of us, the years are taking their toll. He is in his eighth decade and is starting to consider slowing down.

He has about fifty colonies and I am truly amazed that he manages to look after them all. I found that half a dozen colonies took up a good amount of time and extracting honey was a four day event. 

Christ knows how he manages fifty colonies in his mid seventies! I'm not surprised that he is ready to cut back.

Pete was aware that I had lost a colony over the Winter, and advised that he had another colony that I could have to take its place. He is an incredibly generous fellow and I do feel incredibly lucky to count him as a friend.

On the subject of friendship I managed, in a small way, to to return one of the many favours Bubbles has done me over the years ... Late this afternoon I received a text message to advise that he was having major problems drilling in to the concrete floor of his garage.

He was attempting to install a ground anchor for his new motorcycle, but his hammer drill was nowhere near powerful enough to drill in to concrete.  Like some peculiar emergency builder, I threw my SDS drill and bits in the back of the Defender and headed over to Evesham. 

Fortunately my SDS drill was easily up to the job and we soon had the holes drilled. Completing the install was not that straightforward as the expanding bolts weren't of the best quality. There was a fair bit of faffing to get them in place and get the anchor bolted down, but we got there in the end.

This little bit of DIY support reduced Bubbles stress level significantly and, apparently, for this assistance, I have been granted the epithet; Legend.

Nina Conti at the Alex

 It was another soggy day and the weather worsened with each passing hour.

By lunchtime the skies were releasing a steady cold rain and the wind was gusting. It really was the sort of day to stay indoors and enjoy the warmth of the fire.

However that was not to be the case for us. 

Back before Christmas 30% had booked four tickets for Nina Conti's Whose Face Is It Anyway? show at the Alexandra Theatre in Birmingham. The other two tickets were a Christmas gift for Bubbles & Bobbyn.

So, as the skies darkened further and the rain continued to pour, we bundled ourselves in to the car and headed in to the big city ... and we were all so pleased that we did.

Nina was absolutely hysterical. Her ability to channel some quite dark thoughts and her quick wits made the show laugh out loud funny from start to end.

It was most definitely worth braving the horrible weather to see the show.

Acquiring new skills

 It was another quiet day.

However, it seems that I will be spending a fair amount of time acquiring knowledge, as 30% has purchased a wood turning lathe from a local auction.

My father used to do a bit of turning in his retirement and we have a collection of rather chunky wooden coasters that are evidence of his skill level ... or lack thereof. 

As for me, I was going today that I have never used a lathe, but that isn't strictly true. 

When I was a teenager I used to have a weekend job working in a boatyard off Common Road in Evesham. My job was to assist with the servicing of a narrowboat fleet and to train hirers in their handling and operation. This was before they were allowed out to cruise on the River Avon.

Now you might ask, "what is this to do with woodturning?" 

Well, I'm getting to that. In the workshop was a huge engineers lathe. In our lunch breaks we would mount sections of broken broom handle in the lathe. With the aid of whichever chisel could be found, we used to turn amateurish chess pieces for our own entertainment.

So, you see, I really haven't got a clue about woodturning, but it seems that I need to develop a new skill. Check out future Journal entries for pictures of crappy candlesticks and broken bowls.

In other news, Bubbles turned up this afternoon and collected the R nineT.  There was a bit of a wobble as he headed off down the road and I reminded myself that he too needs to acquire new skills. 

Relaxation

 The past couple of days have been milder, but wet and grey.

The weather may be warmer, but the damp and gloom discourages me from anything more than ensuring the fire is lit and the house stays warm.

Part of me feels that I should be doing something, but another part says, "relax and take it easy". I am retired after all, and the garden can wait until it dries out and the weather is fair.

I haven't simply sat in front of the television this Winter, although 30% and I have decided to rewatch Game of Thrones. 

We tend to consume a couple of episodes each day and are just as enthralled with the intrigue, performances and visual splendour as we were when we watched it the first time. We are currently making our way through Series 5, and have yet to decide whether to watch the disappointing eighth series. 

I have also been doing a fair amount of reading. 

Back in December I took out a digital subscription to The New Scientist and I am absolutely loving having access to its articles and back issues. I always used to take a daily peek at the website and read the free articles, but now, with full access, I can become absorbed for probably longer than I should.

For fiction I am re-reading Terry Pratchett's Witches novels and A Hat Full of Sky and The Wintersmith have been consumed in the past few days. They are not hard work, but they are great fun to read, beautifully observed and beautifully written.

My days have not solely been filled with leisure activities. 

Today 30% and I nipped over to Littleton Auctions to view the lots. She had noticed that there was a wood turning lathe for sale and it is something I always fancied trying. Auction day is tomorrow, so we will see whether a bargain can be had.

I have also noticed that I am having a condensation issue in the garage. As a result I now need to look at acquiring a bike drier and looking at options for insulation the space.

Hobson goes out for lunch

 Wednesday was wet and gloomy.

The perfect day for keeping out of the weather, socialising and staying warm. And that is exactly what we did.

Dot & Dave are currently dog sitting for their son and had invited us over for lunch. The invitation included all three of our mutts as their son's dog is an only dog and is fond of having our three over for a play date.

Django is a Lagotta Romagnola and is a lovely boy. He has a few issues ... separation anxiety, a strong dislike of the car and he does like to bark, but he is a lovely dog. He is great with other dogs and absolutely loves to meet up and play with Hobson, our youngest.

As the weather was unpleasant 30% decided that we should only take Hobson over for our lunch date. Four large dogs bouncing around inside would not have been a good idea, so we bundled Hobson in to the back of the Defender and headed over for a spot of lunch.

We had a lovely few hours catching up on each others' news and sharing a lovely lunch. 

There is nothing else of great import to report. 30% has dealt with car registration matters and her little Seat now bears its original registration once more. Monies have been moved around and I think there is little else to do with regard to the purchase of the new car.

Now we need to focus on getting the Defender scrubbed up and sold.

A Journey to Nottingham

 Today's Journal entry could be about a trip to Nottingham to see a car.

I suppose, in some ways, it is, but it is also about me and Nottingham. A little of my back story, if you like.

30% and I hit the road after a leisurely breakfast and were soon heading up the M42. As we neared the city we both commented about how we used to drive this route regularly over twenty five years ago.

30% used to have a fling with a chap who lived in West Bridgford, and me, I lived and worked up there from the early 1990's through to early in the 2000's.

Back to the car. We saw it. We loved it. We struck a deal and we bought it! ... I'll be driving this route again at the end of next week when we go to collect it.

Now back to me and Nottingham. 

After graduating from Wolverhampton Polytechnic, I had a series of laboratory assistant roles. These ranged from animal feed quality testing through bee disease diagnosis to road construction materials testing. 

One day my father bought home a newspaper clipping that had been clipped and proffered by one of his colleagues. It seemed that the Administration Group of the Inland Revenue were recruiting and he thought I might be interested.

To cut a long story* short, I applied, was accepted, and started work with the Inland Revenue Superannuation Funds Office in Hinchley Wood, Surrey in October 1987.**

In the late 80's the Inland Revenue made a strategic decision to move their Administrative Group out of London. As a result I found myself relocated to Nottinghamshire in 1991.

At that time I was in a long term relationship with TP's mother.*** We initially rented a little cottage in Sutton Bonnington before we settled in a fixer upper in Chapel Lane, Granby. 

Over the next few years we made the house liveable, got married and had a child, before TP's mother decided that she could find a far better life companion than me. 

We separated, and later divorced, and I found myself living a few miles down the road in Lime Grove, Bottesford.  This would be 1998/99.

And there I lived, swapping between bachelorhood and parenting, depending on whether TP was in residence, or not.

The separation and move to Bottesford coincided with me leaving the Inland Revenue and joining a local cable TV company called Diamond Cable. Over the next couple of years that company was part of a number of mergers and acquisitions and became a company called ntl: It later became the core of Virgin Media.

I worked in ntl's IT Department and our roles were outsourced to IBM in 2001. I was eventually redeployed to work on an IBM Account based at their offices in Worcester.

It was during this time that 30% and I became reacquainted and a couple. As our relationship developed we started to live together and eventually sold our respective houses and settled in another fixer upper ... The Pile in September 2004.

So that's a potted career history and a tale of a return journey to Nottingham.

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* Eleven years

** The Monday after the 1987 Hurricane struck the South of England.

*** Biological. It was 30% that did the nurturing stuff!

Oh, it's red

We have been considering slimming down our collection of vehicles for the past few weeks.

The Defender is absolutely extortionate to tax* and it does little more than the occasional trip to the Tip and a weekly fishing outing during the lighter months. It may be a cool vehicle, but it is costing one thousand pounds a year to tax and insure. Then I need to take account of diesel costs, if I am to actually drive it.

We have decided that it is time for it to go. Our plan is to sell the Defender and part-exchange 30%'s little Seat Arona. As for our proposed new vehicle, we plan to buy a larger, petrol engined SUV and have a tow bar fitted. This will enable us to still be able to pull a trailer to the Tip and to navigate the rutted tracks down to the River Avon.

30% has found a very nice BMW X3 up in Nottingham and has scheduled a viewing and test drive for tomorrow.

No problem I hear you say, apart from the fact that I have seen pig sties cleaner than her Seat and hovels that are tidier.

Needless to say, the car needed to be cleaned today.** So 30% did what any responsible car owner would do and buggered off to Ikea with the coven.

Muggins here was left to brave the cold and spend a most of the day cleaning the exterior. It took a good few hours with the pressure washer and then a bucket of hot, soapy water to get it clean, but the end result was worth it.

I point blank refused to touch the interior of the car ... that was 30%'s job when she returned from her shopping jolly.

---

* £735.00 per annum

** to maximise its px value

Day of rest

 Last night was a late one!

Large quantities of rich food and red wine were consumed, and, as a result, I was less than enthusiastic this morning. I didn't feel sick and there was no headache. I just did not feel like doing much at all.

The day started with the chickens being fed and watered and the log rack was refilled.  I did take the dogs out for a short walk whilst 30% tidied the kitchen. But, other than that, Sunday was definitely a day of rest.

My one accomplishment was to book my LeShuttle tickets for the Black Forest tour in June. 

That's it ... I've committed.

I now need to get some miles under my belt on the new bike and ensure I am comfortable with her.

Socialising

 Today was wet and cold. Not the sort of day for Bubbles to pick up my the R nineT, so we met up at a fishing tackle shop in Honeybourne instead. The aforementioned store was having a closing down sale, so we popped in to see if there were any fabulous bargains to be had ... There weren't.

Everything was half price, but there was nothing that was a must have. We did pick up a few consumables. The odds and ends that one looses when one's tackle gets snagged and lost, but nothing worth detailing here.

After the disappointing retail experience, we popped in to a nearby bakery and spent a splendid time drinking coffee and catching up on each other's news. Bubbles now plans to pick up his bike next weekend, as the weather should be much improved.

So shopping and coffee took up much of the morning and I headed home for lunch.

We have guests over for dinner this evening and I offered my support to get the house tidied and everything ready. In actuality 30% had everything in hand and there was very little that I could do other than not make a mess.

As for the evening, A&A were great fun and we had a lovely time. Anyone who brings flowers and a bottle of Chateauneuf du Pape is a most welcome guest. The wine flowed freely and 30% had prepared a fantastic dinner featuring pheasant with apples in a cream sauce and a bread and butter pudding made with hot cross buns.

Tomorrow could well be a lazy day.

A change of pace

Right, it might be worth checking that you have a few minutes spare.  After a very few days, the week ended with death, a pyre and "a first". I also managed to come up with several unexpected words today ... none of which, were expletives.

So let's make a start.

The chickens have started to lay reasonable well over the past six weeks. We generally get two or three eggs each day, and, on one occasion, a full half dozen. These are the rich dark brown eggs of the Marans and the pinky tinted offerings from the Norfolk Greys.

You will note that the Crested Cream Legbars have yet to make a contribution. I have noticed that the comb and wattles of the Legbars have started to colour up nicely. This is a sure sign that they are about to come in to lay, but nothing ... up until this morning.

When I checked the nest boxes this morning I was delighted to see a lovely pale blue egg nestling in the sawdust. The Legbars have finally started to earn their keep.*

With a couple of dozen eggs being laid each week we are now starting to sell our surplus to our friends and acquaintances.  30% has already got pre-orders for a dozen each week. I think her friends will be delighted with boxes of multicoloured eggs.

Now on to the death. I am afraid that the local grey squirrel population has been reduce by one. I managed to pot one that was raiding the bird feeders this morning.

I know some people think they are a charming garden visitor, but they are classed as a pest, known to predate birds nest for eggs and chicks. I'm not a fan and would rather see the birds than bloody tree rats.

Now on to the pyre.  Having stacked the logs from the felled Norway Spruce, I was hoping that the large piles of brash would magically disappear ... or that 30% would step up to the mark. Unfortunately neither wife nor witchcraft has had impact in the orchard, so I headed up there with matches and a firefighter.

I soon had a decent fire burning and spent the morning loading it with conifer brash. It burnt beautifully and, by lunchtime, with assistance from 30%, we had reduced it all to a pile of hot embers in our burner.  It was incredibly rewarding to have finally finished dealing with the tree.

Final observation was that today's lexicon had a number of unexpected entries. Etiolated, coprolite, kibblecrete and hat bound were all heard uttered at some point today.

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* The Legbars hatched on 11th August 2024, so they're just about six months old now.

Glossary

Coprolite: fossilised excrement. Don't ask!

Etiolated: The sickly pale grass uncovered as we dealt with the piles of brash

Hat bound: The tight feeling around the scalp after wearing a snug beanie hat. It can only be alleviated by vigorous scratching.

Kibblecrete: A solid concretion of dog kibble resulting from an experiment. I wondered if adding heated meat jelly might make the kibble more appetising. 

The "Middle of Lidl" *

My inactive spell continues and there is little to report for Thursday.

30% and I did head out to a couple of supermarkets and came home with an odd selection of goodies. A Valentine's Day meal deal was too good to refuse ... neither of us fancy a night out in an overpriced restaurant filled with loved-up  youngsters, so a ready meal will be just fine for tomorrow.

We also headed to one of our local German Discounters and picked up a reciprocating saw for the princely sum of thirty five pounds. We'll see how good it is in the near future, as I plan to attack some tree roots with it.

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* It was actually Aldi, but that is nowhere near as good a rhyme

Thought for the day

Imagine what it would be like if dog poo squirmed like a ferret and snapped like a baby alligator.

I'm starting to wonder if a lot of people think like this. 

Apparently it's a charm

 I seem to be slowly grinding to a halt. 

I don't know whether it is a seasonally induced demotivation, but I am having problems getting my arse in to gear at the moment.

Today I managed to perform a little admin and I can report that Bubbles has made my bank balance look healthier by paying for the R nineT. This means that my motorcycle collection is now no larger than the amount of shoes my wardrobe. I challenge 30% to disagree with this fact ... the numbers cannot lie!

That was about it for the day, apart from keeping the log rack filled and a welcoming fire in the hearth. In fact, it was so welcoming that I spent a lot of time in front of it with a book.

I do have one other thing to report. For the past couple of months 30% has been feeding Niger seeds to the birds in the garden.  Previously we have rarely seen goldfinches, but they have become a regular sighting since she started to offer these little black seeds.

The goldfinches are a welcome visitor to the garden with their fabulous plumage. One might think that bullfinches and chaffinches are pretty birds, but then the goldfinch turns up and outshines them.

This morning I looked out to see ten of these little beauties on and around the Niger seed feeder. Apparently the collective noun for a group of goldfinches is a charm.

I didn't do much

 It was another bitterly cold day and, as a result, I was disinclined to do anything but sit in front of the fire.

However the ashes needed to be cleared from the log burner and the log rack needed filling before I could relight the fire. 

Sorting out the fire and various other pottering activities meant that it was lunchtime before I succumbed, and got a fire blazing.

As the afternoon ticked on I felt that I really ought to achieve something, so I headed out to the workshop.

My plan was to make a replacement sign for my little honey stall. The original sign was damaged a few weeks ago when some old duffer reversed their car in to my stall and drove over the sign.

The sign is made from a roofing slate, trimmed to size, with the lettering done with a paint pen. It is very simple, but "Local Honey, £4.00" is sufficient to bring in the customers.

Anyway, I got the slate cut to size before I made an executive decision; I had spent fifteen minutes in the workshop and my hands were frozen. I decreed that signwriting was a clean job and the best place to finish the sign was in the lounge, in front of the fire.

It was a matter of half an hour's work to knock up my new little sign.

Simple, but effective!

It is somewhat ironic that I ran out of honey last week and need another bucket of honey before the new sign has any value.

In other news, I also managed to find a reasonably priced tyre for the 5 Series. Bubbles has confirmed that he will fit it for me, so I'm confident of making a significant saving on the price quoted by the Dealership.

So, that's it for Monday ... I didn't do much, although I'm ploughing through Terry Pratchett's A Hat Full of Sky.

An annual event?

 Over the past few days Dog #4 aka The Rat has been undergoing a prolonged hair cut. 

On Friday I trimmed her face and on Saturday 30% gave her a long overdue bath. The Rat was reasonably well behaved during this annual event and came out of it looking like, well, a drowned rat!

Today I was left home alone and it was time for phase 3 of this grooming marathon. I grabbed my clippers and persuaded The Rat off today's bed of choice.  We took up residency in the Smug and the clippers were soon whirring.

She behaved reasonably well as the hair from her neck and body was shorn. However I knew that her behaviour would change as soon as I reached her legs and underbody. She hates having her leg clipped and it was a challenge to hold her still and manage to do her legs. 

I took a couple of breaks and used several biscuits as bribes to maintain her cooperation. 

Eventually the job was done and I'd say she looks good enough to take out in public ... just don't look too closely at her feet ... they can wait for another day. 

I hope I don't miss it too much

 Having spent more than I really wanted on the R 1250 R, I have been slowly liquidating assets to make up for the extravagance. 

The sale of the old Series 2 Land Rover and my Browning Liberty Light shotgun have improved my bank balance, and today, hopefully, it would be the turn of the BMW R nineT.

Bubbles has been very keen, but could/would not commit until he had passed his test and ridden it down the road. Today was the day for the test ride.

Having owned the bike since June 2019, I have found her to be almost faultless.  She looks fantastic and the performance from the Boxer twin motor is amazing. Huge amounts of torque make it effortless and handling is impressive too. She is no race rep, and I wouldn't want to tour* on her, but she would always be my first choice for an evening ride to the pub.

Anyway, I was pretty confident that Bubbles would love her, but he is new to biking and I needed to let him make his own decision. He only rode it a couple of hundred yards down the road before returning and letting me know that he wanted it.

He admitted that he was fairly certain that he was going to buy it and we laughed, as this is definitely a case of you never just go to look at a puppy, you are going to buy a puppy!**

Bubbs plans to pick her up next weekend, so he'll have a week of sorting out finances and insurance, whilst wishing the hours away. Next Saturday will come around soon enough.

As for me, I'm not sure how I feel about this. I haven't ridden the R 1250 because the weather is dreadful and the roads are filthy. That means that I have yet to form a proper bond with her. On the other hand, I loved the R nineT and I am certain that I will miss her.

I know that you can only ride one bike at a time and I know that I don't make the time for the bikes I have. But I am sure that I will miss her ... I just hope that it's not too much.

Let's end this Journal entry on a positive note. At least I don't have to clean her.

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* Hence the purchase of the R 1250 R

** or kitten, or chickens, or cars etc, etc

Friday didn't turn out as expected

 I woke shortly after four this morning. I tried to get back to sleep, but after tossing and turning for about an hour, I gave up and got up.

The house was chilly, but there were a couple of logs in the hearth and there was a reasonable bed of embers in the log burner. Using these, I managed to coax the fire alight and soon the room started to warm. 

And so my day started. It was bitterly cold today. An icy wind was blowing in from the East and sleet was forecast for later. It was definitely a day for staying indoors. 

My only ventures outside were to let the chickens out and collect logs from the shed. I did also pick the last of the leeks.* These gave me the excuse to spend the morning in a warm kitchen making leek and potato soup.  

Unfortunately we were out of potatoes, so I needed to head out to the village shop for the aforementioned spuds. I decided to kill two birds with one stone and stopped off at Pete the Beekeepers house. I needed to drop off a honey bucket and, hopefully, order another, as supplies are running very low.

Concerningly, Pete shouted from a window that he was not able to come to the gate. I managed to ascertain that he was OK and that he did not need any help. He promised to call me later ... I really hope he is alright.

Back at home soup was made, the fire was fed logs on a regular basis and I curled up on the settee with a book.

Late in the afternoon 30% headed off for a physiotherapy appointment and returned with a worried look on her face about an hour later.  It seems that the Physio was concerned that she might have a condition where nerves at the base of her spine are compressed. He had referred her for immediate attention at the Accident and Emergency department in Worcester.

And, so we found ourselves sat in the waiting area of A&E. 30% was triaged quite promptly, but it was a long wait to see the Consultant. With her agreement, I returned home to feed the dogs and shut up the chickens. She eventually called at around half past nine to advise that she had been seen. It was the Consultant's view that all was well and there was no need for MRI scans or emergency surgery.

It is fair to say that she and I were both incredibly relieved.

Friday, most definitely, did not pan out as expected.

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* Planted 13th August '24, var. Bleu de Solaise

Rate your experience on a scale of 1 to 10

Well! The BMW Dealership managed to further disappoint when I went to collect the car this morning.

There was a token discount applied to the invoice, but it was just that "token" and the actual adjustment was rapidly glossed over by the Service Manager. The manager could still provide no clarity on when the recall work will be done, so I paid up and headed out from the Service Reception to collect the car. 

I know it's a tiny thing, but it would have been nice to be pointed in the direction of the 5 Series, rather than having to wander around an underground car park until I found her.

I climbed in and immediately settled in to her rather fine cabin. I was soon heading towards the M5 when further disappointment occurred. 

When I checked the car in yesterday I distinctly recall asking that the rear tyre pressures be checked and adjusted. In fact the Service Concierge carefully typed this in to the Notes Section of the car's service sheet. I was therefore fucking furious to get an alert from the car advising that the rear tyre pressures were significantly lower than they should be.

Basically the lazy arse of a Service Technician hasn't done the job properly and that really doesn't inspire confidence or encourage me to use the Dealership again.

As I said yesterday, "I think I'll be using the Hereford Branch in future".

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Post Script

I forgot to mention that I did something yesterday that I have never done before ... I picked a lock.

30% has a vintage, tambour fronted stationary cabinet in the bedroom. She finds the slim drawers just perfect for a ladies odds and ends.

About a week ago she mentioned that she had closed the tambour shutter and it had clicked shut. Heaven knows why she did this, but she did. Unfortunately the key was safely tucked in one of the drawers i.e. locked inside.

It now fell to yours truly to develop old school thieving skills rather than use the more modern just kick the front in approach.

I had a quick squizz at YouTube and fashioned a pick from the spring in a convenient clothes peg. I also grabbed a slim bladed pair of scissors and set to the task. It was surprisingly straightforward and I managed to spring the front open within a couple of minutes.

It was quite amusing that 30% was up in the bedroom for about half an hour and still hadn't noticed that I had now developed proper burglary skills ... I'm going to have a go at a safe next.

I think I'll go back to using the Hereford branch

 Today's main event was the delivery of the 5 Series to the dealership in Cheltenham for its MOT and Oil Service. 

The original plan was for the EGR cooler to be replaced too, as part of a vehicle recall programme. The Dealership called yesterday to advise that the component was on back order, and that it would need to be done at a later date.

So, we dropped off the car and attempted to find out when the recall work would be scheduled. It is fair to say that the Service Manager we spoke to was evasive, contradictory and waffly. I should add in apologetic for fairness, but evasive, contradictory and waffly were my main takeaways from the conversation.

It appears that they are working through the recalled cars in VIN number order. I will be contacted when it is my vehicle's turn and this could take a couple of months. 

If that is the case why does the official BMW communication advise me to contact the dealership and arrange the recall? Furthermore, if this is the case, why wasn't I told this when I booked the car in for the work in early January?

Also, if they're working on the in-scope vehicles in VIN No order, how do they do that? I could take my 5 Series in to any BMW Dealership for the work. They have no idea what vehicles will be taken to them for the work. They won't know the vehicle identity until the point that it is actually booked in and how do they identify which owners they need to contact?

If you ask me, it sounds like I have been fed a line here!

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* To add attempted injury to insult; at five minutes to five this evening I received a vehicle inspection video showing a few items of work that need attention on the car. I accept that it will need a new front tyre, but I wasn't going to pay BMW rates for that work. I scanned down the list and noticed that they wanted to charge me over sixty quid to put in 8 litres of Adblue. Now I am aware that ten litres of Adblue will cost me £16 and I pour it in to the car via the cap next to the fuel filler. It is literally as simple as putting diesel in the car.

How the fuck do they justify a sixty quid charge for that?